NCIS Los Angeles s10e17 Episode Script

Till Death Do Us Part

1 Mr.
Kirkin? Who are you? Detective Marty Deeks, NCIS.
There's a box on my desk.
What's in the box? Open it and find out.
DEEKS: What about if we did the wedding here in Malibu on the beach? Baby, we talk about doing a beach wedding.
Why not do it here on our beach? You're right.
(seal barking) (snoring) (door opens) (door creaking) (gasps softly) (gun clicks) (door creaks) (grunts) (groaning) Good, you're up.
(groans) SAM: What the hell are you doing? Oh, I just (coughing): Oh, God.
I think I broke a hoof.
I just really wanted to talk to you.
You couldn't call me? Well, it was getting late, you know, and I didn't want to wake you up.
So you snuck on my boat? No, I was not sneaking.
I was being very quiet in case you were over there sleeping.
I was sleeping.
See? You're proving my point.
It's 3:00 in the morning.
You could have got shot.
Oh, yeah.
Thank you for not shooting me.
That'd have been bad, right? (laughs) I show up, and I've got a bullet hole, and they got to patch that.
I'm sorry.
- I'm a little wired.
It's just like - Deeks, what-what What are you talking about? What do you mean? I'm supposed to get married in a few hours.
What are you talking about? I mean, I know I love her, and-and-and and I want to marry her, and I want to be with her, but all of a sudden, I'm just, like, suddenly, it's just like Please don't tell me you're getting cold feet.
No.
No.
No.
I'm not having cold feet.
But I am having, like, cold, like, in abdominal area.
- Deeks? - What? Am I supposed to be doing this? NCIS: LA 10x17 Till Death Do Us Part - Hey.
- Hey.
Ow.
Oh! (groaning) That is not comfortable.
Oh, my God, is it still raining? What time is it? It's time for you to get your ass in gear.
You're getting married in a few hours.
Wait.
So you think I should still do it? All night long.
Because you don't understand me, and this isn't about me.
This is about Kensi.
Yeah.
What about Kensi? Come on.
You know Kensi.
She's amazing.
She's beautiful, and she's smart, and she's funny, and she's intelligent.
She's perfect.
- I hate that in a woman.
- CALLEN: Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
But what if I'm not worthy? That's been obvious since day one.
Okay, but I'm not kidding.
Neither am I.
Guys, I'm starting to feel like I-I-I suddenly, like, I-I tricked her into falling in love with me, you know? And if, and if I really do love her, and I do love her, then I have to recognize the fact that-that maybe there's somebody out there that's way better for her than me.
Hey, Deeks, that's a given.
Okay, you guys are not helping.
Do you think Sam was worthy of Michelle? It's the law of nature, all right? Why do you think Callen's still single? Well, let's not get carried away.
Deeks, marriage is about showing the person you love that they made the right choice every day.
And we know you can do that for Kens.
I can.
I can do that.
I can do that.
Of course you can.
Otherwise, we wouldn't let you be with her.
SAM: Not a chance.
You would have died on the job a long time ago.
I love you guys.
We like you, too.
And I think that we should do a manly hug.
No, you're gonna sit on the couch.
(laughs) And I'm gonna make coffee.
(grunting) Wait, no.
Wait, no.
Can't breathe.
Blacking out.
(groans) Tap or snap? Tap or snap?! (imitates bone snapping, laughs maniacally) Oh.
Oh.
(panting) I don't think so, buddy.
(grunting) ROGERS: Who's winning? Rogers.
I was, um I was just, uh, training.
Against a human head? Well, I was practicing my eye gouging.
Is that a proficiency required by a technical operator? Uh, no, but I'm actually thinking of applying to become a special agent.
Why? Well, I think I'd be a good addition to the team.
Why? Uh I have a variety of skills that would be useful to OSP.
Like eye gouging? Uh, well, not eye gouging, per Se.
Um, I think that self-defense is an important (clears throat) Did you need something? We have extra personnel from the San Diego field office here for the day.
I want you and the rest of the team to be able to enjoy Kensi and Deeks's wedding without any interruption.
That's exceptionally thoughtful of you.
You'd all be distracted and watching the clock otherwise, so it was really more for my own protection.
Thank you? Um, does this mean that you will not be joining in the celebration? We'll see.
In the meantime, I'd like you to give our visiting support staff a brief tour of Ops before you leave.
Copy that.
Uh Oh.
Oh.
(groans) I thought it was gonna stop raining.
What happens if it rains? What do you do at a wedding if it rains? Do you give everybody ponchos, or do you get in tents? Oh, my God.
The box.
What box? My box.
Box of what? I-I don't know.
I'm sorry I asked.
No, no, no.
It's something that I always wanted.
Which is what? I have no idea.
Okay.
Now I'm sorry I asked.
No, no.
Kensi gave me a box, and inside she said, it was something I always wanted.
Where was said box? I mean, it was in the bullpen, and then, it was in the locker room.
It was, like, this big.
You don't remember? It was a big deal.
Apparently not to all of us.
When did you last see it? I mean, it's been a while.
CALLEN: Well, when did she give it to you? I don't know.
Like, a year ago or maybe six.
Six years ago? I don't know.
Maybe.
One of 'em could have been a leap year.
Hope it wasn't a puppy.
Why didn't you open it? Because I was waiting for the right time.
Well, six years.
I don't think one day's gonna make a hell of a difference.
No.
Kensi said I have to open it before the wedding.
Wait a minute, guys.
This is a disaster.
What about Eric? What-what? What? He has surveillance, right? We can look through surveillance? How long do we keep surveillance for? Does he work today? - Deeks - Should I call him? Do we have a text, - or should I beep him? - Deeks, Deeks.
Aah! Relax.
Breathe slowly.
I'm trying.
CALLEN: Everything is under control.
(groans) Think of all the operations we've been through.
Yeah? This is one little wedding.
We have the entire team working on it, okay? Relax.
- Right.
- Right? Yeah.
No.
No, no.
I'm good.
I'm good.
I'm great.
I'm great.
I'm good.
(car horn honks) Kirkin? What is he doing here? What are you doing here? This isn't good.
That isn't good.
This is the exact opposite of good.
Relax, Marty.
I'm here to save you.
Now, get in.
Oh, my God.
Put the gun away now.
I wish I could, gentlemen, but if I did, you will try and stop us.
Okay, first off, there is no "us.
" And second, I don't need saving, so We're not playing here, Kirkin.
Nor do I when it comes to matters of the heart.
I thought you had a fiancée.
So did I.
Pray you never fall in love with a millennial.
They will only break your heart.
How did you know Deeks was getting married? Facebook? Have you been stalking us online? The two of you? Of course not.
But I like to know that Martin is safe.
Okay, I appreciate the concern, Anatoli, even the gesture, I mean, somewhat.
But I am happy and I am safe, and I'm getting married today to a woman that I love more than anything in this world and the next, arguably.
Ah.
So be it.
As Shakespeare once said, "Tis better to have loved and lost "than never to have loved at all.
" That's Tennyson.
(tires squealing) My security detail has a hard time keeping up with me.
(speaking Russian) Is it just me, or is this day getting weirder by the moment? Oh, it ain't you.
(engine starts) Last chance, Marty.
Yup.
Nope.
Still-still good.
Then I shall bear the agony of my heart alone, for I will never stand in the way of true love.
Thanks for that.
Just remember, I will always be here for you, Marty.
DEEKS: All right.
Okay.
All right.
(engine starts) Can we just, uh, pretend this never happened? Oh, it's probably best.
It is nice to be loved.
Just couldn't help yourself, could you? (laughing) (footsteps approaching) ROBERTA: Kensi? What are you doing here? Oh, I was just, um some last-minute running around.
Uh-huh.
I'd offer you a drink, but it's a little early, and you probably should be sober for your vows-- a mistake I won't make a third time.
(laughs) What's up, kiddo? Ah, nothing.
It's just, uh, my mom and the girls were driving me crazy at the house, and I was feeling claustrophobic, and I decided to come here to, you know, get some quiet I hear ya.
All that love and well wishes would give me a rash.
(laughs) Is that your dad? Yeah, that's my dad.
(clears throat) Handsome.
Thanks.
Hmm.
I really wish he could have been here today.
I'm sure he is.
- Yeah.
- Oh, hey.
I remember this guy.
It's Granger.
Since my dad can't walk me down the aisle, Granger was, uh, was gonna do it.
I don't really have good luck with men staying in my life.
Hmm.
I was also engaged once before, too.
Hmm.
Yeah, I know.
- Marty told me about the goat herder.
- Goat herder? (laughs) No.
Jack Jack was is not a goat herder.
Shepherd.
Whatever.
Mm-mm.
You're better than that.
But I can tell you that Marty loves you, with all his heart, and he will never do anything to hurt you.
And if he does, I'll kill him myself.
Pretty sure you won't have to do that.
(kisses) (Deeks grunts) Whoa! Uh, uh, hi.
What's going on here?! Deeks? Hi.
Yeah.
Sorry.
I'm just, uh, I'm looking for a box that Kensi gave me a while back.
And no, I don't know what's in the box, but I need to find it, and I need to open it before I get married.
So that's what Yeah.
It's in the armory.
What? Don't toy with me, Nell Jones.
I'm in a fragile state.
Deeks, it's kind of my thing to know where everything is around here.
Plus, Kensi told me you might be looking for it sooner rather than later, so stuck it up on the shelf.
It's near the fire gear.
Thank you, Nell.
FATIMA: It's a similar layout to San Diego, and we'll provide you all with temporary passcodes.
This is one of our technical operators, Eric Beale.
Well, senior tech op, to be precise, and occasional field agent.
(chuckles) You've been through FLETC? - What? - FATIMA: This is Fang Kong Li.
He's a tech op from San Diego.
You two have something else in common.
We both like my chair? He's also a recipient of the Turing Junior Fellowship.
Youngest ever, to be precise.
FATIMA: They're here to lend us a hand.
Well You're not in sunny San Diego anymore, kids.
These? These are the mean streets of L.
A.
We're not inverting binary trees here, all right? We are the front line of the war on terror.
They do everything we do.
But unlike other field offices, we have a special relationship with DARPA.
And we we do hella top secret beta testing for them.
Like what? Like it's classified, Fang.
That's why it's called top secret.
(computer chimes) Incoming.
It's a POI alert.
You know what? You know, I'll-I'll just get this.
No, no, no.
No, I can No, I'll It's-it's fine.
I can No.
If you could It's-it's (chuckles) - No, no, seriously, it's my station.
Thank you.
- Hey.
Dude! (sighs) All right.
Oh, God! That totally tracks 'cause my fiancée is eight.
It's a key.
(clears throat) Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
You, uh I opened it.
need any help with anything or? Help.
No, no.
It's a No, it's just, uh, exploding jellybean snakes - and then, uh, a key, which is Oh.
- Yeah.
Duh.
It's a sophomoric metaphor for her heart.
Well It's not a key to her heart? I mean Thank God.
I mean, it-it might be the key to her heart, but I think it's also a key to one of the armory lockers.
What? Yeah, it's all good.
I mean, this was just a fail-safe in case you actually lost the box or, you know, things with you and Kens didn't work out.
Oh.
In that case, she could just, ooh, swap out the contents of the locker.
Wow, romance of all this is evaporating by the second.
- (tablet chimes) - FATIMA: Uh, we have a situation in Ops.
Mm? What kind of situation? I think Eric might have eye gouged a visiting tech op.
Oh! That's just great.
What, me, too? That's what we're doing now.
This is my day off.
I'm not even supposed to be here.
I'm sorry, man.
Oh, kill me now.
Guys, come on.
Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! - NELL: Eric.
- DEEKS: What are you doing? What? (computer chimes) (scoffs) Wait.
Kidnapping alert? Kirkin? Guys, what is this? Not Kirkin.
Not today.
No.
Not in the trunk.
No! Oh! (inhales sharply) Oh, my God.
Breathe.
Breathe.
- Where are you going? - I'm leaving.
Yeah, but what about Kirkin? Kirkin is gonna be fine.
Besides, this is not an NCIS case.
Well, we have worked with him in the past.
FATIMA: Shouldn't we at least alert the others? Absolutely not.
We are not gonna mention this to Sam.
We are not gonna mention this to Callen.
And for the love of God, we are not gonna say anything to Kensi.
You want to know why? Because this is not our problem.
Hmm.
- What's not our problem? - What? Nothing's not our problem.
There's no problems 'cause we're all problem free.
Is that a wooden badger? He's just acting weird.
Prewedding jitters, I think.
I'm new here, so I have no baseline.
Okay, then.
So, maybe Hmm.
Hi.
JULIA: Baby bird, it's about time.
Mandy locked herself in the other room.
Why? What did you say? I didn't say anything to her.
I like Mandy.
Mindy's the one I have issues with.
Okay.
Hey, Mom, do me a favor.
Today you love all my friends.
You have issues with none of my friends.
None of your friends.
- Okay.
- (chuckles): But she's making us late.
(singsongy): Diva.
Okay.
(clears throat) (crying): Oh, God.
Hey.
Hey.
What is going on, sweetie? Everybody just looks so beautiful, and I look like a shopping cart.
(chuckles): Oh, you do not look like a shopping cart.
You look stunning.
I wish I was pregnant.
No.
No, you don't.
Yes, I do.
I can't wait to look like you.
Oh.
You know what? Today is all about this.
It's you, it's me, it's the girls.
Right? Weddings are about love and-and starting new life.
Yeah, it's the circle of life.
Mm-hmm.
Exactly.
Like in Lion King when Musafa dies, and Simba keeps trying to wake him up, and he's pulling on his ear and (sobbing): Oh, no.
Oh, sweetie.
Mufasa.
That's okay.
Hey, Mindy? Hey.
Do you want to, um, get her some fresh air and, like, maybe a cup of tea or something? Will do.
I'm sorry.
I just I keep prematurely leaking everywhere.
Oh, God.
(grunts) Okay.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, it's okay, sweetie.
I love you.
Love you.
(mouths) (exhales) Okay.
(stifled laugh) You doing okay? - Yeah, I'm good.
I'm good.
I'm good.
- Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You got this.
(chuckles) (exhales) Okay.
Is there anything else I can do to help? Um Let's just help her not leak.
Leak.
- Got it.
- Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, and also, um, don't let the Tiffanys have sex with anyone.
I'll try.
(door closes) I should have eloped.
Callen? Mama? Anybody? DEEKS: This was my father's ring.
I first remember it from when he'd wash my KENSI: My tiny little hands in his as a little girl.
He wore it even after my parents split and only took it off when he went on a mission.
He'd leave it with me as a promise that he'd always come back and be there to protect me.
And then one day he didn't.
His ring was my link to him, and I clung to it desperately.
I no longer felt safe, and I knew I would never feel that much love in my life ever again.
No one could live up to my dad.
But I was wrong.
Because you came into my life, and you showed me what it is to be truly loved and feel safe again.
There is no one in this world that means what you do to me.
DEEKS: This ring was everything.
And now it's yours - because I cherish you.
- KENSI: Because I cherish you.
Love is endless.
I'm yours now and forever.
KENSI and DEEKS: P.
S.
Don't you dare lose it.
(exhales) (door opens) Hey.
Find your box? Uh, yeah.
Found the box.
Nice.
Kensi's dad's ring.
(sniffles) Yeah.
You sure you're okay? Yeah, no, I'm okay.
You know, it's just that, uh uh, put my heart on a plat-- Just emotional.
Hey, Deeks.
You can't start crying yet.
You're not even dressed.
Wow, this this is strong.
Huh.
Can't imagine what her vows are gonna be like.
Oh, my God.
I'm gonna sound like an idiot up there compared to that.
I mean, right? I mean, you're Right? I thought Beale was helping you out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, he was, which was, you know, wonderful if I was marrying a Brontë sister.
Hey, man.
You're gonna do great.
Okay.
Uh, listen, I got something else I need to tell you.
Um Kirkin, right after, uh, we left him, he kind of got himself kidnapped.
(phone rings) Talk to me.
NELL: So, a vehicle used in Kirkin's abduction was registered to a Paul Baroni.
Photos have been sent to your phones but not to Kensi's.
Now, Baroni hails from Whitestone, Queens.
It looks like he was also believed to have been a Mano Nera or a Black Hand of The Arm, which is the nickname for the Buffalo mob, and he relocated out here in 2014.
I'm pretty sure I saw this guy on Arrow.
Well, that's because you have.
He's also an actor with a long list of TV and film appearances.
(scoffs) Welcome to Hollywood.
So, uh, what do you think we're dealing with here, Get Shorty? Okay, so, we're either dealing with an organized crime family conflict or Kirkin set this whole thing up with his actor friends.
Okay.
Now, why would he do that? Oh, my God.
Wait, really? Uh, guys, I'm not following here.
Kirkin wants Deeks to rescue him.
That is ridiculous.
Or slightly romantic.
(chuckles) How do you want to play this? Well, I guess we got time to, uh, go by Paulie Pliers'.
And if Kirkin is hiding out with him, we'll know it's a hoax.
And if he's not? We'll let the FBI run with it.
You take care of your stuff.
We got this.
Okay.
I'm gonna have a heart attack.
I love you like you're my own kid, but you can't keep going off like this.
It's not how we operate.
Paul Baroni? I'm sorry, you just rudely interrupt people where you're from? Yeah, 'cause we're from the Feds.
Federal agents.
Huh.
With who, the Federal Bureau of Waiters? (chuckling) That's pretty good.
No.
Actually, NCIS.
Where's Anatoli Kirkin? Who is he? He's a local Russian mob boss.
Do I look like a Russian? No, you don't.
But he was just tossed into the trunk of your car a couple hours ago.
Huh.
Well, strangely enough, my car was stolen last night.
I reported it to the LAPD this morning.
SAM: Mm.
Thought it was probably just some joyriding kids.
My guys found it 20 minutes ago, a few blocks away.
(speaks Italian) We found Mr.
Baroni's car a few blocks from here 20 minutes ago.
(chuckles softly) Get out of my face.
Sit down.
Tell your man, sit down.
If you don't sit down on your own, I'll help you do it.
You don't want to do that.
It's okay, Tony.
Sit down.
It's okay.
Sit down, Tony.
(grunting) Don't.
Had to get in a fight in your good clothes, huh? My client is willing to cooperate fully in exchange for leniency on his nephew, Anthony DeBartolo.
He assaulted a federal agent.
- Mm.
- You put that kid inside, he's gonna come out a monster.
Mandatory anger management and therapy, plus six months' tethered probation.
God bless.
Imagine a scenario where Mr.
Kirkin is having personal issues within his organization.
Then imagine he comes up with a plan to out his dissidents by staging his own kidnapping.
His sudden absence would ostensibly lead those planning a hostile takeover to fight for control and, in doing so, reveal themselves.
Un-freaking-believable.
On the contrary.
It was very believable.
Fooled you, didn't it? That, my friends, is called acting.
Where's Kirkin now, De Niro? Do we have a deal on Mr.
Baroni's nephew? Only if we find Kirkin and he collaborates this wondrous tale.
You believe him? He wants to protect his nephew.
(door opens) - I'm looking for my son.
- DEEKS: No, Mo Mom! In here! Sorry.
Who are the serial killers? Not serial killers.
Yeah.
Right.
20 bucks says Banjo Eyes in there has body parts in his bathtub.
And what is with you guys and all the fighting and shooting? Can't you just talk to a perp anymore? Mom, can you fix his shirt or not? Not much point in my coming here if I couldn't, is there? Please don't make me regret this.
(grunts) Columbo solved hundreds of cases.
The man never even carried a gun.
Ow! Oh, stop moving.
I'm not moving.
I swear to God, if you dumb bunnies make me late for this wedding, I'm gonna sew all your you-know-whats shut.
I'm gonna have someone check with Kirkin to verify Pliers' story.
They can take over from here.
Take off your shirt.
You don't have to (groans) Oh! I am so sorry.
Is that where I I'm okay.
I'm okay.
I No, you're bleeding, honey.
I'm so Mom! Stop touching Sam.
Oh The man's wounded.
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
I'll say.
Okay! (chuckles) Oh, this might be my favorite day ever.
- Did somebody take my lashes? - Mm-mm.
JULIA: Ladies, may I present the bride.
(exhales) (gasping) Oh, my (chuckling) Oh, Kensi! Oh, my! Oh, my God.
Oh Oh, my God.
You look - so beautiful.
- Really? Pull yourself together, Mandy.
You're making everybody cry, and I am getting tired of redoing my makeup.
Oh, my God, I'm-I'm sorry.
I can't help it.
You just-- It's-- I'm so-- I'm just Hormonal? No, I'm happy.
I'm happy.
(chuckling) Perfect.
It's perfect.
Oh! Hop, hop, ladies.
Come on.
The guests are starting to arrive.
(groans) Shake a leg.
Come on, come on.
Okay.
(groans) (indistinct chatter) (phone rings) Really? Put that damn thing on vibrate.
Better yet, turn it off.
Hello? FATIMA: Sorry to bother you, Agent Callen.
Anatoli Kirkin wasn't at the location provided by Mr.
Baroni.
(exhales) Keep looking.
Make sure Baroni knows the deal for his nephew is off unless we find Kirkin.
Copy that.
Enjoy the wedding.
So let me guess, Kirkin wasn't there.
What do you want to do now? (sighs) Absolutely nothing.
Here's to doing nothing.
To the happy couple.
And Kensi and Deeks.
It's a toast.
Eric, it's a toast.
You have to drink.
Do you do you know those guys? I do not.
(clears throat) Fake selfie time? Yeah.
I'll say.
Ah! That should do it.
(clears throat) I'm gonna send these to Ops.
Run 'em through facial rec.
Hopefully, they're just some sketchy second cousins.
Yeah.
(clears throat) Uh, gentlemen, friends of the bride or groom? We're just looking for someone.
Uh, great.
Tell me their name and I can help you.
I did the guest list, so (exhales) 'Kay.
(knocking) Yeah.
Hey.
Hey.
How's it looking? Perfect.
Everything's gonna be beautiful.
And everything is all set.
(phone ringing) Great.
Really? You gonna leave that on for the ceremony, too, huh? Hello? Can't take this guy So, several men just arrived, one of which facial rec identified as a known associate of Kirkin.
And I think they're looking for him.
(quietly): Why would they think he's here? (exhales) Oh, God.
Maybe because he is.
All right.
You need to get him as far away from everybody as you can.
Quickly and quietly.
Yep.
I'm on it.
Everything good? Yeah.
The, uh, DJ just, uh, needs a couple of extra hands for setting up things.
Setting up? We're about to start.
(chuckles) We'll be fast.
Yeah, just breathe.
Relax.
Remember? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, this-this-- That was-- that was okay? Kirkin's here.
Are you kidding me? No.
And he's got company with him.
(sighs heavily) Come with me if you want to live.
Ah, Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Terminator.
I've got one.
"If your man say no to champagne, he-he say no to life.
" I'm serious.
We have to go, now.
KIRKIN: Splendid idea.
After you.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Let's go.
So, um, gentlemen, uh, just wondering if you could just give me your name and number and then I can call you when your friend shows.
How 'bout that? (chuckles) No? Do you guys have a pen? Maybe a (grunting) Eric.
- Hey.
- You okay? Uh (clears throat) He pulled a gun, and I disarmed him.
Where's his weapon? Uh - Call for backup.
- Yeah.
Okay.
I'm gonna just sit down for a second.
(exhales) (sputters) (knocking) Come in! (muttering) Hi.
Sorry.
You can just-- Guys, what's going on? Kensi left her bouquet in the limo.
Stay in there.
It's bad luck for the bride to see you.
What? You're going this way.
Uh, what about you? Don't worry about me.
I do this for a living.
Now, go.
Go out the door! (grunting) I'm sorry.
That seemed rather excessive.
But my friends are getting married today, so Hello.
(grunting) (panting) Mmm! How is it that color works on every one of you? (gasps) It's uncanny.
- Is it good? Is it centered? - Mm.
Yeah, it's beautiful.
You know? Okay.
Oh, that cut is absolutely ravishing on you.
Oh, you're owning this, girl.
Uh, what are you doing here? Who is this? - Uh, this is-is my florist.
- Oh.
Could you give us a second, Mom, please? - Sure.
- Thank you so much.
Kirkin, Kirkin, this is my wedding day.
What are you doing here? I came to share in your special day, but I'm afraid I must depart rather abruptly before some former employees kill me.
What are you (takes deep breath) Never hurt him.
Whoa! Kirkin! Oh, my gosh.
Oh.
Ooh.
(grunts) Is it time? (gasps softly) And you are? ROBERTA: Oh, God, sorry I'm late.
My plus-one threw his back out.
(women gasp) Honey, I need a dirty martini the size of a Big Gulp.
Top shelf (grunting) (women screaming) (crying): Oh, my God, did I kill him? It's okay.
He's a bad guy.
(whimpering, sniffling) (dress rips) Ah! Oh.
(sighs) (exhales) Ooh, you can't imagine how glad I am to see you.
Ooh! Ah.
(muttering) Thanks for the heads-up.
(grunts) Find the others, and bring the truck as close as you can get.
Hey.
Remember me? Bring it.
(whimpering) (man groans) Yeah.
Good work.
I'm sorry about all of this, Marty.
(chuckles) I will never forget the first time we met, frolicking naked together.
Okay, that's not what happened.
I was undercover at a Russian bathhouse, and I'm sorry to break your heart there, Kirkin, but I was, uh, not frolicking, because I don't frolic-- I actually have never frolicked.
You are a frolicker, and you know it.
This is the worst wedding ever.
CALLEN: You want to tell him, or should I? Tell me what? Not you.
Thug Life here with the gun.
SAM: Be my guest.
Your friend is not coming back.
In fact, right now he could probably use a chest tube.
Oh, and we took care of your other two buddies as well, so you're kind of flying solo at this point.
Kirkin.
Let's go.
Always a pleasure, gentlemen.
He's in our custody now.
So you're gonna have to shoot all three of us to take him.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
(exhales sharply) I can't leave you damn kids alone for one minute.
(chuckling) (intro to Gregory Alan Isakov's "San Luis" playing) Sure you don't want to rest for a second? If I sit down, I'll never get back up.
Let's do it.
Let's do it.
All right.
(clears throat) Pain is just weakness leaving the body.
Mm.
I feel some happiness leaving the body, too.
(chuckles) Maybe a little hope, too, huh? KENSI: Smile and be happy, bitches.
Yeah.
Weightlessness No gravity Love you.
Were we somewhere in between? Thanks.
My little, uh, fight club angel, what's going on? I love you.
A bird's-eye view of San Luis HETTY: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this most joyous occasion as we share in the loving union between Kensi and Martin.
When two people come together in marriage they give themselves to each other, and in so doing, create something even greater than what they were alone.
Martin.
You are the reason that I know that hope and kindness are real.
Because of you, I believe in happy endings.
The truth is that you are gunpowder the kind that ignites those around you to do what's right, and the spark that pushes me to be better than I ever thought that I could be.
You're my best friend, my hope, my reason to keep going, and I vow to be the same thing for you.
You are my favorite thing, and this right now is my favorite moment.
I promise you love, understanding, patience, but above all, I promise you my heart.
You were right.
Turns out it's a love story.
Repeat after me: I, Martin Deeks I, Martin Deeks take thee, Kensi Blye take thee, Kensi Blye HETTY: to be my wedded wife DEEKS: to be my wedded wife HETTY: to have and to hold DEEKS: to have and to hold from this day forward from this day forward HETTY: for better, for worse DEEKS: in sickness and in health (laughs): for richer, for poorer to love and to cherish till death do us part.
till death do us part.
For you, the queen of San Luis HETTY: And so be it.
By the power vested in me, it is with my greatest pleasure that I now pronounce you husband and wife.
Were you somewhere in between? (cheering and applause) Fast asleep, a flying dream (cheering continues) Oh.
Whoa! Thank you for doing this.
Yeah.
Bird's-eye view of San Luis (cheering continues) (both laugh) I'm-a, I'm-a spread love Like I'm Paddington Bear I'm-a, I'm-a, I'm-a spread love Like I'm Paddington Bear I'm-a spread love I'm-a spread love, yeah I'm-a, I'm-a, I'm-a spread love Like I'm Paddington Bear I'm-a spread love, I'm-a spread love, yeah I'm-a, I'm-a, I'm-a spread love Like I'm Paddington Bear I'm-a spread love, I'm-a spread love Yeah I'm-a, I'm-a, I'm-a spread love Like I'm Paddington Bear Ooh.
Ooh.
(sighs) Would you like to tell us where the hell you've been? Mmm no.
And why not? Well, because I care about both of you, and certain things are better left unshared.
Perhaps there will come a day, but this isn't it.
This is a day to celebrate friends and family and the love that binds us all.
Fair enough.
You do know how to make an entrance.
(chuckles) - She does.
- SAM: I'll give you that.
Hope that wasn't a new car.
It was, but not mine.
I borrowed it from the, uh the valet station.
Don't know who it is, but someone out there is gonna be Ubering home tonight.
(laughs) (chuckles) I like your style.