Never Have I Ever (2020) s01e08 Episode Script

... pissed off everyone I know

1
To the untrained eye,
it seemed like Devi had just bailed
on her best friends to help a boy
who, five minutes ago,
wanted nothing to do with her.
Are you coming to the drama room?
Just had to do one quick
thing. It's super important.
I'll be there in, like, ten minutes.
But as you can see, she had a plan.
She could help out Paxton and Eleanor.
And doesn't that make
her an even better friend,
nay, a better person?
Hi, Paxton. You said you needed me.
It's not me who needs
you. It's my sister.
- What?
- She's applying to fashion school,
and was gonna shoot her portfolio today,
but none of her coworkers
showed up to help.
Wait. Your text made it seem
like this was an emergency.
I mean, it's a fashion emergency.
A fashion emergency?
I just ditched my friends for this.
Come on. Look, she's really upset.
All right? The photographer's
already here, paid for.
- And since you've met Rebecca
- Paxton, I can't.
Please. Look, it won't take that long.
You just have to model a few outfits.
Wait. Model?
You want me to model?
Devi. Thank you.
You're a lifesaver.
Okay, but we have to do this fast.
What is that?
Tyra says the broken-down baby
doll is the most editorial look.
Can you just, like, stand normal?
Like catalog? Sure.
You're doing great, Devi.
Don't need the hands in the face.
Or in the hair.
Okay, just stand flat to camera
with your arms at your
side like a paper doll.
Kinda thought this would be
more of a collab, but okay.
You look good.
'Cause these clothes are sick.
When you become a famous
designer, could I be your muse,
like Bella Hadid is for Dior?
I'll probably just get a real model.
Fair enough.
I don't know, Becca.
She's kinda pulling it off.
Too many teeth. I can
see all of your teeth.
Please close your mouth.
That's it. It's over.
I'm giving up acting.
Say goodbye to my little friend!
Hope you enjoyed that because
that was my final impression.
That's all folks!
Okay, that was my last impression.
Eleanor, come on,
that's a little dramatic.
You're right.
I shouldn't be so dramatic.
Because from this point on,
drama is no longer part of my life.
Hello. My name is Eleanor.
My favorite color is beige, and
my dream is to be an accountant.
Oh, God. Where's Devi?
She was supposed to be here an hour ago.
What the hell?
Thanks for helping out today.
It was awesome. Did I do okay?
Rebecca seemed really happy.
I don't want to make this weird,
but, like, thanks for not
telling people I lied about us.
Well, I don't fake kiss and tell.
Does this mean we can be friends again?
Yeah. We're good.
Devi felt relieved.
She had dug herself out
of a hole with Paxton,
and while there might be no
chance of romance anymore,
at least she had a friend,
because after all, isn't
friendship the most important
You're at Paxton's house?
Oh, God. Fab and Eleanor.
I gotta go.
See you at school.
Stop.
You don't get to keep the clothes.
Well, I think Gisele usually gets
an outfit for her troubles, so
Okay.
Here's the birthday boy.
Do you like your cake?
Yeah, I love it. It's, uh It's me.
I didn't know who you
were a fan of these days,
so I decided to have it
made after my favorite star.
Oh, I want a photo of you
next to your cake head.
Oh, okay.
Oh, honey, don't lean
back. That's not attractive.
There you go. Yes!
Listen, sweetie, I'm so, so sorry.
We have to go away on your birthday.
The moved up the launch of 2
Chainz's new line of spiced rum,
and he says he needs me there.
Yeah, but we could
cancel if you want us to.
Because I would be more than happy
to not go to the Caribbean today
and just stay here with my baby boy.
Bubelah, you say the word,
I'll get 2 on the phone
and tell him I'm not coming.
No, you should go. Sixteen's
not like a big birthday.
Uh, it's fine. We can
celebrate when you get back.
Are you sure?
Okay. Well, you know what?
If we're gonna be out of town,
you should throw yourself a party.
Absolutely!
- You have to have a party.
- No, I don't think so.
What?
When I was in high school, I would've
killed to have a birthday party
in a nice house like this.
I'll think about it.
You guys should get going.
You're gonna miss your plane.
Oh, Howard, why don't
you give him some cash,
you know, so he doesn't starve.
Thousand dollars sound good?
But if you need more, just call.
Happy birthday, my favorite son.
- You know, he's your only son.
- That's why he's my favorite.
I know, but it sounds like
you have other children.
- Love you.
- Bye, bye.
Have you seen Eleanor and Fabiola?
Sorry, I haven't.
Then again, my eyes can't really
pick up anything below six.
Ben, I don't have time to listen
to you pretend to have standards.
What's going on? Are you okay?
Birthday acknowledgment, Ben.
- Uh, thanks.
- I don't want to presume it's a happy one.
It's okay if it's a sad
one or a neutral one.
Okay.
However you're feeling is right.
Just have a day.
Is it your birthday? Why
didn't you say something?
This is the one day I
have to be nice to you.
Then why did you punch me?
That was a friendship punch.
So, are you gonna have
a party or something?
Yeah, I don't really make
a big deal about birthdays.
I'm sort of a low-key man of mystery.
You Instagrammed your PSAT score.
Only to inspire others to
try to achieve the impossible.
Yo, Devi.
Rebecca uploaded your pictures
to her Wix site. You want to see?
You look great here.
You know what, David?
I actually think I am going
to have a party tonight.
- Really?
- Yeah.
So you should come if you want.
Okay. Awesome.
I'll be there.
Can Paxton come?
Yeah, definitely.
Cool. And how about Trent?
Yeah, sure. Whatever.
Anyone can come. Party
at my house tonight.
Guys
I know you're mad at me,
but I did come to the
drama room eventually.
I can't believe you ditched us for him.
I know, and I am really sorry,
but Paxton had an emergency too.
Was it worse than having
your mom abandon you?
Let's see. Paxton's emergency
was a fun photo shoot,
so no, it was not worse than
having your mom abandon you.
Keep your mouth shut, Devi.
I'll make it up to you guys.
Did you hear about Ben's party?
We can go together.
We can get everyone drunk with
Fabiola's bomb beer pong skills.
We are going to the party,
Devi, but not with you.
Eleanor, what are you wearing?
You look like a sad librarian.
I'm different since I quit the play.
I'm no longer a creative person,
therefore, I no longer
require a colorful appearance.
Listen, I know I've been a bad friend,
- but I really
- Yeah, you have.
You just promised that
you'd be there for us
and then immediately blew us off.
I didn't really blow you
guys off. I just had
Eric was more compassionate to
Eleanor's pain than you were.
He gave her a baggy of
gummy worms to cheer her up.
They were very old, and
hard, and covered with lint.
I did not eat them.
We're supposed to be best friends.
I left a funeral to be by your side
after Nick Jonas married an
Indian woman that wasn't you.
That was very hard on me.
Oh, yeah? Guess what? My mother
leaving was pretty hard on me too.
Of course. I know that,
and I am so sorry
Fabiola and I are gonna
take a friend break from you.
I beg your P?
We just need some space right now.
Maybe losing us will make you appreciate
our friendship a little bit more.
I just think it's super unfair
of them to stop speaking to me.
Well, you did abandon them
to do an amateur fashion show
for a boy you barely even know.
But I said I was sorry.
If women didn't accept
each other's apologies,
The View would grind to a halt.
Okay, so you want to talk about
how to make it better with them?
No. I don't care.
I'm just gonna go to this party tonight
and hang out with my cooler friends,
like Paxton and Trent.
We're more alike anyways.
I find it a little hard to believe
that losing both your best
friends isn't bothering you at all.
Well, believe it,
because I give zero F's.
I think you give many F's.
If that were me,
I'd be scared to lose two more
people that were that close to me.
You're bringing it back
to my dad, aren't you?
I am.
I'd be a bad therapist if I didn't.
Devi, listen.
You were so traumatized
by your dad's death,
you lost the use of your
legs for three months.
Yeah, I know. What does that
have to do with anything?
This thing with your friends,
baby girl, that's your grief.
So, my dad dies, and suddenly,
my friends are bitches?
Devi, you are so
desperate to not feel sad,
you've made your whole
world about this boy.
I'm a teenager.
My whole world is about boys.
I want you to allow yourself
to acknowledge the pain
you so clearly feel.
So you're saying I should get over
my sadness by getting really sad?
Why would I do that?
So I can be miserable and
realize the person I love the most
is never ever coming back?
Yes!
Because I think that
would help you heal.
Well, I think I should
get a different therapist.
And I think you might be right.
What?
I want the best for you.
You know that.
But maybe you would benefit
from a different approach.
Are you serious? You're
breaking up with me too?
- Oh, this is not a breakup.
- You know what?
This is perfect. I've
always hated coming here.
So, peace out. See you never.
It's ticking.
Good work, Kamala.
Wow, this grandfather
clock is so handsome.
Almost makes me blush.
What's going on? Why do we
have a spooky Scooby-Doo clock?
Kamala's future husband
is visiting tomorrow,
and I thought the house could do
with a little touch of elegance.
He's not my future husband yet.
He's a potential future husband.
To that end, do not
touch the clock, Devi.
I'm returning it to the store
as soon as Prashant leaves.
Sure. Well, it feels like I'll just
be in your way if I stay here tonight.
Maybe I should go over to
Eleanor's for a study session.
We have un million French verbs
to conjugate over le weekend.
Verbs like "to party"?
"To drink alcohol"?
"To try opioids"?
Uh-huh, yes. I know Ben
Gross is having a party.
I'm a dermatologist. Half my
patients are acne-faced teenagers,
and boy, do they love to talk.
But it's Ben's birthday,
and you know how sad and lonely he is.
If I don't go, he might hurt himself.
The only person who hurts
themselves at parties is you.
The last one you were at,
you got bitten by a coyote,
the cousin of the wolf!
So you will stay here, and
you will study with Kamala,
the cousin of you.
That's so unfair.
Oh, actually, I was planning to
work at the Caltech library tonight.
Why don't you just work here?
I'm paying through my nose
for ultra-fast internet.
Someone should use it.
Sorry, Nalini Auntie.
Of course, I'll stay here
and take advantage of
your top-notch Wi-Fi.
Great. So you'll supervise Devi.
Where will you be?
I am taking my nurses to
see the musical Waitress
as a bonding exercise.
Apparently, American
workplaces need fun perks
to keep the employees
interested in earning a paycheck.
Anyway, I'll be home by 11:00,
and I expect you to be in bed by then.
Oh!
Hey, Trent. Hey, Marcus.
Uh, can I get a cup of that punch?
Oh, it's not punch. It's grandma juice,
'cause one sip makes you demented.
- Right?
- Ooh.
Whoa, like, whoa.
Tell me what you think, bro.
Exactly.
How is your grandma, Trent?
She has her good days.
While most of her classmates
partied the night away at Ben's,
Devi was trapped at home with
only her calculator as company.
Dammit.
But even the calculator died of boredom.
Kamala, where are the batteries?
Kamala, batteries!
Kamala!
Whoa. Kamala?
Devi!
Uh, this is my co-worker, Steve.
We're doing some research.
On how to hook up?
Oh, God.
I can't imagine what
you must think of me.
I'm so ashamed.
Um, I think you're friggin' cool.
You snuck a boy into the house.
Have you done that before?
- No.
- Yep. I know the whole roof by touch.
- Steve!
- Holy shit.
This is amazing.
You're not perfect.
You're bad like me.
Steve, why don't you go
downstairs and get a snack?
Oh, I'm not hungry. Thank you.
I obviously need to talk to my cousin!
Oh.
Gotcha. Will do.
Wow, Kamala. Wow!
Okay, so now you know I
have a secret boyfriend.
I wouldn't normally bring him into
the house while anyone was awake,
but he's been feeling insecure
because Prashant is coming.
Oh, my God. Right.
You're in a legit love triangle.
It's not a triangle.
It's more of a line and a dot if
you're really going to graph it.
But Prashant is just a
formality to appease my parents.
But I'm not going to marry him.
He's a complete stranger.
No offense, Kamala, but
I finally respect you.
That's very rude, Devi.
So, would you mind not
telling your mom about this?
Right.
I'm gonna have to blackmail you.
Devi had bought herself
two hours at Ben's party.
Unfortunately, those two hours
began with her very uncool arrival.
Promise me you'll be home by 11:00.
If you're late, I can't
protect you from "you know who."
I promise. I'll make sure
I'm home before my mom.
Hey, Kamala,
thanks for being cool
about me blackmailing you.
Don't drink too many sodas,
or you'll be up all night.
- Don't be up with Steve all night.
- Ugh!
Devi felt excited about going
to the party of the year.
That is until she remembered
that her best friends were coming,
and they currently hated her,
but hey, this was a rager.
Maybe she wouldn't even see them.
Oh.
Hi.
Hi.
'Sup, Devi? You just
missed our pre-game.
We ate nachos and
watched two SpongeBobs.
What? Oh, right. We're
supposed to be mad at her.
Beat it, Vishwakumar.
Um, I really like your suit, Fab.
Thanks.
Hey, Eleanor, I heard that
there were drinks by the pool.
Oh yes.
Wow. I'm sensing a lot
of tension right now.
David! You came.
Welcome to mi casa.
Wow. Like, I knew you were rich,
but this is like the house
they live in in The Bachelor.
Wait. Is it that house?
No, but it was used in a
Peloton commercial once.
Here, let me give you a tour.
Take a right.
Oh, my God. Is this a
friggin' screening room?
Can you imagine watching
Finding Nemo on this?
He'd be like this big.
Thanks. My dad tore down a
historical landmark to build it.
Aren't your parents gonna be
pissed you threw a huge party here?
Oh, nah.
They're the ones who
told me to throw it.
I think they feel guilty about
ditching me on my birthday.
Oh. I'm sorry. That sucks.
I'm used to it.
My life's kinda like Home Alone,
but if the parents realized
that Kevin got left behind,
and they just like stayed in Paris.
That's messed up, dude.
Well, I brought you a present.
My mom would be mad if
she found out I came here,
but she'd kill me if
I came empty-handed.
Wow. Thank you.
It's actually the only present I got
other than a postcard from my dentist.
Happy birthday, Ben.
Whoa!
Were you just trying to kiss me?
Uh No. Yes, I'm sorry.
I don't I don't know
what I was thinking.
Just forget I did that.
It's cool.
It's cool?
Ben! What the hell?
Don't you have a girlfriend?
Yeah. I'm an idiot. Um
Okay. Now it's weird.
You've made it weird.
I'm just gonna go get a drink.
Hey, I'm really sorry. I'm kinda drunk.
Yeah, I can tell.
No, I'm serious. I had way
too much of Trent's punch.
Don't drink that, by the way.
Why? Is it laced with something?
LSD? CBD? MDMA?
No, Trent just put his balls in it.
See, they're all laughing
at anyone who drinks it now.
Oh! She's about to drink it.
Fabiola, no!
What the hell, Devi?
This suit is Anjelica Huston for Kohl's.
I spent all my science
fair winnings on it.
I'm sorry.
- Trent put his balls in
- I don't care.
I don't want to hear another weak
excuse about why you're acting crazy.
What does that mean?
- Fabiola, let's just go. Come on.
- No!
I'm popping off.
I just wanted one night where
I wasn't sucked into your drama,
and now I am drenched in it.
Not everything is about
you and your problems!
My problems?
I'm so sorry it's such an
inconvenience for you that my dad died.
Yeah, I know he did,
but that doesn't give you a
free pass to treat us like crap.
I don't treat you guys like crap.
You've turned into this fake person
that only cares about
popularity and Paxton,
and doesn't give a shit
about her real friends,
even when Eleanor's mom abandons her,
or I say that I'm gay!
Wait! What?
Dammit.
You just made me come
out to our whole class!
Um, just to get it
out there, I'm gay too.
Uh, obvi.
That makes sense.
We just miss our old friend,
but right now, you're not her.
You just seem lost.
Huh.
You know what? I should've just
let you drink Trent's ball juice.
And I'm not lost.
I know exactly where I am.
Oh!
Whoa. That was like a crazy nerd fight.
Let's go make out in your
parents' room. Come on.
Maybe I could get more punch and
then just turn it into a pink suit?
Hey, you're gonna wanna
use baking soda on that.
I just stole some from the fridge.
Oh thanks.
I'm gonna check on Oliver.
No person can tell ♪
Where
it came from, what it means ♪
So, that was pretty rough out there.
Yeah, it was a lot.
I'm not used to popping off.
It was very tiring.
Sure. Coming out to everyone,
and then pushing your
friend into the pool,
that can take a lot out of you.
I didn't push her. She fell.
Okay, Big Little Lies.
Seriously, though,
what you did out there took
guts, even if it was accidental.
Thanks.
I mean, I came out by getting
stoned and tweeting "me gay now."
I know. It's gonna be a really
touching story to tell my children.
Eve
I know that I was weird to you before,
but if I haven't totally blown it,
would you wanna grab food sometime?
It doesn't have to be
a date. It can just be
That sounds rad. Let's do it.
Aw!
I think you guys are gonna
have a really nice time.
Thanks for letting
me borrow your sweats.
This is so embarrassing.
You keep having to rescue me at parties.
It's not embarrassing for me. I
always come out of it looking cool.
At least one of us looks cool.
Shit. What time is it?
Uh, I'd say 10:43.
Dang it. It's 10:45.
Crap! I'm supposed to be home by 11:00.
I'll take you. I've only had Red Bull,
so I'll be better at
driving than a sober person.
Okay.
Thanks for bringing me home.
No problem.
Are you okay, by the way?
Yeah. The last bit of water
just drained out of my ear.
No, I meant about that
fight with your friends.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Right now, it kinda feels like
everyone in my life is just
done with me.
Sorry. Forget I said
that. That was weird. I
Um, thanks for the ride and
the kiss I mean the kiss
I mean the clothes.
Yeah, sure.
I'll see you Monday, Devi.
What? What the hell just happened?
Do you believe in miracles?
Paxton Hall-Yoshida just
kissed Devi Vishwakumar.
Dr. Ryan and her friends were so wrong.
Devi wasn't lost.
She was a friggin' sexual conquistador
who had just snagged her first
kiss from a teenage Adonis,
and as far as she could tell,
that Jeep ride just
solved all her problems.
Somebody's home late.
Previous EpisodeNext Episode