NewsRadio (1995) s03e25 Episode Script
Injury
Okay, this is double or nothing, right? Come on, man.
You're breaking my concentration.
Hallway soccer again? Hallway soccer's a summer sport.
Season's over.
This is a brand-new sport.
Called "Who can get the coffee cup off the top of the light fixture?" See, the point of the game-- Self-explanatory, Matthew.
Good luck, and may the best man win.
Okay, pretty good.
Pretty good.
Close.
Pretty good.
You're up, dude.
Stand back and watch a pro.
Give it a shot.
[DING.]
Ooh.
Okay.
Hey, guys.
What's going on? Just walking around.
You, uhplaying hallway soccer? No.
No.
Oh, okay.
Trash can basketball? No.
No.
Hey, does this have anything to do with that coffee cup that's been on top of this light fixture the last few days? Kind of.
Oh.
What do you call this game? Who can get the coffee cup off the top of the light fixture? So what do you say you knock off before anyone gets hurt? Sorry.
No, that's okay.
Just get the cup down and get back to work.
You heard the man.
We gotta get that cup down.
Yeah, well, we'd better get a ladder or footstool, because running and jumping for it would be a bad thing.
Okay, he's gone.
Let's do it.
Double or nothing? Yeah.
10bucks! Oh, close, but no cigarillo.
Hey, Bill.
Hey.
I need you to sign off on today's installment of The McNeal Perspective.
This one is kind of a hot topic.
Oh, really? Let me guess.
is this the third installment of your series on why people should be allowed to smoke in movie theaters like in the olden days? No, no.
I think I was really just preaching to the converted on that one but it did generate some interesting mail.
Oh, yeah.
Are you referring to the letter that described you as Andy Rooney without a sense of humor? Nonsense.
Andy Rooney is Andy Rooney without a sense of humor.
So what's your, uh, topic? Okay.
I was driving to work this morning-- Dave, Matthew hurt himself.
You better come here.
Ohhwhere is he? He's in the men's room.
It's pretty bad.
Thank you, Beth.
Anyway, I was driving to work-- I'll be right back, Bill.
All right, how did Matthew hurt himself? Oh, never mind.
I think I can figure it out.
Beth, will you go get the first-aid kit, please? So, Matthew, where exactly did you cut yourself? By the elevators.
Left hand.
Ring and small finger.
Superficial lacerations proximal to the digitalis profundus.
Huh? I used to go out with a nurse.
A male nurse.
Oh, yeah.
That's fantastic, but I cut my hand here.
Joe, I think we could really use a bandage here.
Wait a second.
Oh, I got it.
Okay.
Um, we've got a box of Q-tips, and, oh, we have some cough drops.
They are mentholated.
Wonderful! Joe, I've got some rubbing alcohol in my office.
Will you go get that, please? And Beth, will you get some more paper towels? What happened? Oh, Matthew cut his hand.
Ouch.
Anyway, Dave, I was driving to work this morning-- Not right now, Bill.
Bill! Bill! Let me just have a look at it, okay, Matthew? If I even see a little bit of blood, I'm going to throw up on myself.
I know, Matthew.
Come on, I'm sure it's nothing, all right? I'm sure it'sI'm sure it's just a little cut.
[SIREN WAILING.]
[.]
Okay, are you allergic to penicillin? No.
Just shellfish, asparagus, and cat dander.
Okay, well, um, Dave, should I put those down? Well, unless the treatment's going to involve some sort of medieval potion, I'd say no.
All right.
Medical insurance carrier.
Medical insurance carrier.
I'm not sure.
Okay.
I'll just put "not sure.
" Matthew, do you have your medical insurance card in your wallet? Actually, remember when they gave us that option of getting medical coverage through work, or else they give you a lump sum and then you find your own carrier? Yeah.
Yeah.
Matthew, are you trying to tell us you never got around to getting your insurance? I'm still researching them.
You can't just take the first one that comes along.
Come on.
You have to shop around.
Well, this isn't good.
Let's just go to a cheaper hospital.
Well, we're here now.
Hello.
I'm Dr.
Smith.
What do we got here? Oh, hi, doctor.
Uh, he cut his hand on a light bulb.
Can I see the-- Yes.
Sorry.
Now, uhwho's his insurance carrier? We're going to have to get back to you on that.
Are youthe boyfriend? [SNORT.]
I'm the employer.
Oh, Matthew Doctor, can I talk to you for a moment? Now, you can still help him, right? I mean, even though he doesn't have the money? I mean, as I understand the law, I mean, you cannot deny him medical treatment contingent on whether his insurance is in order.
If you're done, I'd like to help your friend before he bleeds to death.
Of course.
Good.
And here's Bill McNeal with The McNeal Perspective.
Thanks, Catherine.
When I was driving to work this morning, I was listening to another radio station, as we broadcasters sometimes do.
What I heard shocked and saddened me.
I heard a broadcaster who will go unnamed use the word "penis" on the air.
At 9:00 in the morning, not just once, but twice, he saidthat word twice.
Now, as a broadcaster, freedom of speech is my bread and butter, but I'm also a big fan of a little thing called "decency," the meat in the broadcasting sandwich.
I am personally outraged by the shock tactics our competitors are using in pursuit of the almighty ratings.
Freedom of speech is one thing.
The word "penis" is another.
I'm Bill McNeal with The McNeal Perspective.
Catherine? The views offered in The McNeal Perspective do not necessarily reflect the views of this station, its management, or parent company.
Hey, Bill, sorry I didn't get to sign off on your McNeal Perspective.
No problem.
Just put your Dave Nelson right there.
I'm going to have to look at it, but make sure you get it to me before you go on the air with it.
You're the boss.
Hey, is Matthew okay? Yeah.
Matthew doesn't have any insurance.
Oh, Matthew! Does Mr.
James know about this yet? Yeah, he just called.
He's on his way over.
How's his hand? Expensive.
Yeah.
When the tendons severed, they rolled up into the arm like a window shade.
Eww.
Yeah, that's what I said too.
It's going to cost about $14,000.
Wow.
Mm-hmm.
Any ideas? Workmen's comp.
No.
It wasn't job related.
Wasn't it? No, he was just goofing around.
Davewasn't it? You just file a workmen's comp report stating that it was an on-the-job injury, and he'll be fully reimbursed for all medical expenses as well as any work days lost due to injury.
Gosh, I just love big-city gals.
But we need corroboration.
Joe, could you come in here a second? Hey, what's up? Have a seat.
How's Matthew? Oh, he's fine.
He's fine.
Joe, do you remember earlier today when, uh, Matthew hurt himself while helping you change a light bulb? Who's asking? Workmen's comp.
Ohh, right! When Matthew, operating in a job-related capacity, was assisting me with my duties.
Mm-hmm.
What's the scam? We split the cash four ways? No, Joe.
It's for Matthew.
He doesn't have any health insurance.
Oh.
All right.
Sure Whatever I can do to help.
Okay, great.
Thanks.
Hey.
Remember last week when I fell off that ladder and hurt my back? No, I don't, Joe.
Okay.
Whatever.
Hey, Dave, how you doing? Good.
So you know what I did? I borrowed this from my sheet metal plant in New Jersey.
Thought maybe you could use it.
Whoops! Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
better make that, uh zero.
You got a marker, Dave? Hey, thanks! All right.
Zero! There we go.
So how'd this happen? Sir it really was, just, you know, another on-the-job injury.
Very unfortunate, but, you know, entirely work-related, as he was on the job working at the time.
Mm-hmm.
What was he doing changing a light bulb? He was helping Joe.
He was justhelping.
Dave, Matthew is a reporter.
He's not qualified to change the light bulb.
You know what kind of trouble I can get in with the Occupational Health and Safety Administration? Well, the facts are the facts, sir.
Couldn't he, I don't know couldn't he just say he was goofing off so I don't get in trouble? Oh, and would you be willing to pay his medical bills? I don't think my lawyer would like that.
Roger? Mr.
James? Can I pay his bill? Absolutely not.
That would set a precedent which could be exploited in other cases involving employees-- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank you, Roger.
Wait in the car.
Well, sir, I would really hate to have to ask Matthew to lie.
No need.
I'll do it.
Matthew home right now? Yes.
Why? Roger wants to ask him a few questions.
The man is at home recuperating.
I don't think he's up to an interrogation.
I mean, can't Roger wait a few days? Roger? Yes, sir.
Can he wait a few days? No, sir.
Didn't I ask you to wait in the car? I--I'm going to go get you that address, sir.
Beth, come here.
Okay.
Mr.
James wants Matthew's home address.
Give him the wrong address, then call him 45 minutes later on his car phone and give him the correct address.
Also, find Lisa and tell her to meet me at Matthew's immediately.
Got it! Don't forget your martini, Mr.
Bond.
Sit down, sit down.
Come on.
UhSo, uh Please, sit down, sit down.
You're making me, like Sure.
So, tell me, Matthew, How're you, uh how're you feeling? Oh, it hurts.
They gave me some pills, but it still hurts.
I want to tell you, just don't worry about the medical bills, okay? I've taken care of it.
Wow, that's very generous of you, David.
Wait a minute.
How much do you make? Because I thought were both in the general same salary range No, I'm not paying it myself.
Workmen's comp is going to cover it.
Because you were working, right? You were helping Joe replace a light bulb.
Oh! Ha ha ha! So if anyone asks, you'll say Something tells me there's a little get-well-soon card in that envelope for you know who! Yes, there is, Matthew, but do you get the point we're trying to make? Matthew, give me this.
Careful.
Okay, you-- Here, let me just tell you about this.
There's a dog with a bandage on his paw, and it says, "roses are red, and we're all so blue" Could you just read what the people from work wrote? Okay.
"Hey, man, what kind of painkillers "did they give you? Ha ha.
Just kidding.
Beth.
" Ha ha! Could you read the messages in the voices of the people that wrote them? No.
Look, Matthew, this is important.
If anybody asks, you have to tell them that you hurt your hand Helping Joe change a light bulb.
Oh, no, no.
I can't do that.
Why not? Because that's not the truth, and I hate telling lies.
My face gets all hot.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Who--who is it? It's Jimmy.
Uh, just a second.
All you have to say is that you were helping Joe.
I'm sorry, I can't.
Hey! Mr.
James! Hey, well, how you feeling, big guy? Oh, it hurts.
It hurts, you know? They gave me pills, but it still hurts.
Matthew, do you remember-- thank you-- You remember earlier today when you were on your lunch hour, you were goofing around with Joe, and you hurt your hand? Actually, it was more around breakfast time.
Attaboy! Anyway, you think you'd be interested in signing a what's it called again, Roger? A legal affidavit affirming that you were involved, in fact, in a non-job-related goof-off situation.
Roger, that's enough.
Really.
Sir, I cannot stand for this.
Okay, okay, fine, you know, but if OSHA comes down on me OSHA's not going to come down on you.
Oh.
Fine.
Well, anyway.
Thank you, Matthew.
Thank you.
Oh, hey, hey.
I almost forgot.
Roger? Yes, sir.
Flowers? Feel better.
I'm sorry, David.
I just don't like telling lies.
Have you thought about the $14,000 medical bill? Actually, yeah.
I was going to ask you for a raise.
Or get a roommate or something.
Something to offset the whole thing.
Hey, is there more to that card? And here's Bill McNeal with The McNeal Perspective.
Thank you.
Yesterday I tried to call attention to a rival broadcaster's use of an obscene word on the airwaves.
I have subsequently been informed that the key issue is context.
That certain broadcaster, Dr.
Art Ulene, was using the word in a medical discussion about prostate conditions.
I guess that's supposed to make it a-okay.
I implore the owners of that station to start levying fines against their on-air personalities who use, no matter what the context, a word like "penis," but maybe I'm just old-fashioned.
I'm Bill McNeal, and that's The McNeal Perspective.
Catherine? The views offered in The McNeal Perspective do not necessarily reflect the views of this station, its management, or parent company.
Bill, if you want me to sign off on today's McNeal Perspective, you'd better get it to me soon.
Will do, chief.
Hi.
Uhsorry I'm late.
What's going on? Hi, I'm Dave Nelson.
Hey.
John Enghoff, Occupational Health and Safety Administration.
Welcome.
John, John, have you, uh, met my attorney, Roger? Hi.
I'm Roger Edwards.
Nice to meet you.
Hey, they make a great cup of coffee out there.
David, I have got to talk to Matthew before that guy does.
Matthew Brock? Yeah.
John Enghoff, Occupational Health and Safety Administration.
I need to ask you some questions.
Un momento, please.
Thanks.
Matthew, Mr.
James and Roger would like to see you in the kitchenette.
Who's Mr.
Jameson Rogerwood? Can I get you some coffee? Mr.
James and Roger, the lawyer.
And before they speak to you, I need to talk to you, Matthew.
About what? Excuse me, Dave.
I need to see Matthew in here for a moment, thank you.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
Okay, let's take a seat.
Hustle up, hustle up, hustle up.
Oh, you're Mr.
Rogerwood, right? Matthew, um, I got to apologize.
I'm sorry about last night.
I shouldn't have asked you to lie.
Oh, no, that's okay.
That's okay.
Because, of course, that's Roger's job.
Roger? Mr.
Brock, you do remember that during the accident, you were wearing protective gloves, safety goggles, and rubber-soled footwear as indicated in the Occupational Health and-- Yeah, et cetera, et cetera.
You remember all that.
I--I--I can't lie.
It's not in my nature.
I'm--I'm--I'm against lying.
Oh, I bet you could.
Really, I can't.
Okay, Roger.
Plan B.
On the résumé you used to get the job here at WNYX, you listed that you were as a cashier at Kroger's Market in 1982 and 1983.
Cashier, huh? Actually, I-- Yeah, you were never a cashier.
In fact, you never rose above the position of stock boy.
Stock boy! Your résumé also admits the fact that you were summarily dismissed from that job for stealing an apple pie? Yeah, but the thing was past its expiration date, and they told me to put it in the dumpster.
I put it in my car and I gave it to a homeless person.
Wow! That's like a real life Les Mis, huh? Hey, Roger.
Got any other whoppers in there about this guy? Do I ever.
I really don't want to hear any more whoppers.
This is starting to get ugly, all right? Now, I think I can clear the air, all right? David, I really can't lie.
There you are, Mr.
Brock.
Do you, uh, have a moment? Sure, John.
Come on in.
Okay.
If you could just give me a little background? Well, the first thing I did was put on my safety goggles and protective gloves.
As I walked down the hallway, my rubber-soled shoes were squeaking underneath me.
Well, first of all, if I could just get your date of birth? Oh.
12-21-65.
Anyway, I checked the ladder for metal fatigue, as we all do, and should.
Bill, I'm sorry I never got a chance to sign off on those McNeal Perspectives.
No problem.
So, uh, what were the topics, anyway? Oh, the usual stuff-- observations, analysis.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
You do understand that the station will have to fine you.
I'm prepared for that eventuality.
I'm willing to pay the price.
My message will be heard.
Howmuch will the fines be? I've got that for you.
So tomorrow's McNeal Perspective will be Turn signals.
How come no one uses them anymore? Oh, man, tell me about it! Thank you! Hey.
Hey, Matt.
I wa--I wasn't sleeping.
I know.
I know.
Mr.
James, I-- Did I do okay? Did you do okay? You did great! You did great.
Hey.
I'm just sorry we had to put you through all that.
It's okay.
It's okay.
How did you get all that dirt on me, anyways? We called your mom.
You must think I'm a terrible person.
No, no.
Not at all.
Not at all.
You know what? I got fired from my first job as a stock boy too.
Oh, for stealing pies? No, for funneling register overcharges into a shell account in a neighboring state.
Same principle, though.
You know, one time, I dropped a whole case of eggs.
You know what I mean? It was like-- Yeah, can't say I'm too interested in that, Matthew, but I'm sure it was something.
Oh, hey, hey, hey.
How are you fixed for medical insurance? Oh, don't have any.
Yeah, I know.
Your mom mentioned it, but I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
I'm going to put you on my plan.
Full medical.
Smile, Matthew.
I'm sorry.
I just feel bad that I had to put-- Just--just smile.
Yeah, better make it full dental too.
Well, no, Roger, absolutely not, and that's final! I'm sorry.
Am I interrupting something? Well, Roger here thinks that you haven't been entirely truthful with us.
Would you say, Mr.
Nelson, that you've been completely honest and forthright during your tenure here at WNYX? Uh, yes, I would.
Very interesting.
Under your résumé under "other interests," you list scuba diving.
Come on, Mr.
Nelson.
You've never scuba dived in your life.
How can you be so sure? We have our sources.
Because I have scuba dived.
I just never told my mother about it.
I didn't want her to worry.
Happy, Roger? ¿Cuánto tiempo estudiante español, Señor Nelson? Empecé estudiar español a los quince años y continué en la universidad.
¿Tienes otras preguntas, Roger? Roger, I want to see Dave alone for a minute.
Take the stairs.
Hey, hey! Will you look at that? What? Somebody left a coffee cup up on the light fixture.
Oh, so they did.
You know what? I'll bet you five bucks I could jump up there and get it.
Sir, I really don't think that's a good idea.
Three bucks.
Two bucks 50.
Okay, gentlemen's wager.
Mr.
James, I'd really rather you didn't-- Yeah! Whoa! I'll bet you didn't think I could do that.
No, I didn't.
Congratulations, sir.
Thank you very much.
So, you got any plans today? Yeah.
I told Matthew I'd come over and watch Melrose Place with him.
Oh, can I come? Sure.
Great.
Great.
I got a thing for one of Kimberly's personalities.
[.]
You're breaking my concentration.
Hallway soccer again? Hallway soccer's a summer sport.
Season's over.
This is a brand-new sport.
Called "Who can get the coffee cup off the top of the light fixture?" See, the point of the game-- Self-explanatory, Matthew.
Good luck, and may the best man win.
Okay, pretty good.
Pretty good.
Close.
Pretty good.
You're up, dude.
Stand back and watch a pro.
Give it a shot.
[DING.]
Ooh.
Okay.
Hey, guys.
What's going on? Just walking around.
You, uhplaying hallway soccer? No.
No.
Oh, okay.
Trash can basketball? No.
No.
Hey, does this have anything to do with that coffee cup that's been on top of this light fixture the last few days? Kind of.
Oh.
What do you call this game? Who can get the coffee cup off the top of the light fixture? So what do you say you knock off before anyone gets hurt? Sorry.
No, that's okay.
Just get the cup down and get back to work.
You heard the man.
We gotta get that cup down.
Yeah, well, we'd better get a ladder or footstool, because running and jumping for it would be a bad thing.
Okay, he's gone.
Let's do it.
Double or nothing? Yeah.
10bucks! Oh, close, but no cigarillo.
Hey, Bill.
Hey.
I need you to sign off on today's installment of The McNeal Perspective.
This one is kind of a hot topic.
Oh, really? Let me guess.
is this the third installment of your series on why people should be allowed to smoke in movie theaters like in the olden days? No, no.
I think I was really just preaching to the converted on that one but it did generate some interesting mail.
Oh, yeah.
Are you referring to the letter that described you as Andy Rooney without a sense of humor? Nonsense.
Andy Rooney is Andy Rooney without a sense of humor.
So what's your, uh, topic? Okay.
I was driving to work this morning-- Dave, Matthew hurt himself.
You better come here.
Ohhwhere is he? He's in the men's room.
It's pretty bad.
Thank you, Beth.
Anyway, I was driving to work-- I'll be right back, Bill.
All right, how did Matthew hurt himself? Oh, never mind.
I think I can figure it out.
Beth, will you go get the first-aid kit, please? So, Matthew, where exactly did you cut yourself? By the elevators.
Left hand.
Ring and small finger.
Superficial lacerations proximal to the digitalis profundus.
Huh? I used to go out with a nurse.
A male nurse.
Oh, yeah.
That's fantastic, but I cut my hand here.
Joe, I think we could really use a bandage here.
Wait a second.
Oh, I got it.
Okay.
Um, we've got a box of Q-tips, and, oh, we have some cough drops.
They are mentholated.
Wonderful! Joe, I've got some rubbing alcohol in my office.
Will you go get that, please? And Beth, will you get some more paper towels? What happened? Oh, Matthew cut his hand.
Ouch.
Anyway, Dave, I was driving to work this morning-- Not right now, Bill.
Bill! Bill! Let me just have a look at it, okay, Matthew? If I even see a little bit of blood, I'm going to throw up on myself.
I know, Matthew.
Come on, I'm sure it's nothing, all right? I'm sure it'sI'm sure it's just a little cut.
[SIREN WAILING.]
[.]
Okay, are you allergic to penicillin? No.
Just shellfish, asparagus, and cat dander.
Okay, well, um, Dave, should I put those down? Well, unless the treatment's going to involve some sort of medieval potion, I'd say no.
All right.
Medical insurance carrier.
Medical insurance carrier.
I'm not sure.
Okay.
I'll just put "not sure.
" Matthew, do you have your medical insurance card in your wallet? Actually, remember when they gave us that option of getting medical coverage through work, or else they give you a lump sum and then you find your own carrier? Yeah.
Yeah.
Matthew, are you trying to tell us you never got around to getting your insurance? I'm still researching them.
You can't just take the first one that comes along.
Come on.
You have to shop around.
Well, this isn't good.
Let's just go to a cheaper hospital.
Well, we're here now.
Hello.
I'm Dr.
Smith.
What do we got here? Oh, hi, doctor.
Uh, he cut his hand on a light bulb.
Can I see the-- Yes.
Sorry.
Now, uhwho's his insurance carrier? We're going to have to get back to you on that.
Are youthe boyfriend? [SNORT.]
I'm the employer.
Oh, Matthew Doctor, can I talk to you for a moment? Now, you can still help him, right? I mean, even though he doesn't have the money? I mean, as I understand the law, I mean, you cannot deny him medical treatment contingent on whether his insurance is in order.
If you're done, I'd like to help your friend before he bleeds to death.
Of course.
Good.
And here's Bill McNeal with The McNeal Perspective.
Thanks, Catherine.
When I was driving to work this morning, I was listening to another radio station, as we broadcasters sometimes do.
What I heard shocked and saddened me.
I heard a broadcaster who will go unnamed use the word "penis" on the air.
At 9:00 in the morning, not just once, but twice, he saidthat word twice.
Now, as a broadcaster, freedom of speech is my bread and butter, but I'm also a big fan of a little thing called "decency," the meat in the broadcasting sandwich.
I am personally outraged by the shock tactics our competitors are using in pursuit of the almighty ratings.
Freedom of speech is one thing.
The word "penis" is another.
I'm Bill McNeal with The McNeal Perspective.
Catherine? The views offered in The McNeal Perspective do not necessarily reflect the views of this station, its management, or parent company.
Hey, Bill, sorry I didn't get to sign off on your McNeal Perspective.
No problem.
Just put your Dave Nelson right there.
I'm going to have to look at it, but make sure you get it to me before you go on the air with it.
You're the boss.
Hey, is Matthew okay? Yeah.
Matthew doesn't have any insurance.
Oh, Matthew! Does Mr.
James know about this yet? Yeah, he just called.
He's on his way over.
How's his hand? Expensive.
Yeah.
When the tendons severed, they rolled up into the arm like a window shade.
Eww.
Yeah, that's what I said too.
It's going to cost about $14,000.
Wow.
Mm-hmm.
Any ideas? Workmen's comp.
No.
It wasn't job related.
Wasn't it? No, he was just goofing around.
Davewasn't it? You just file a workmen's comp report stating that it was an on-the-job injury, and he'll be fully reimbursed for all medical expenses as well as any work days lost due to injury.
Gosh, I just love big-city gals.
But we need corroboration.
Joe, could you come in here a second? Hey, what's up? Have a seat.
How's Matthew? Oh, he's fine.
He's fine.
Joe, do you remember earlier today when, uh, Matthew hurt himself while helping you change a light bulb? Who's asking? Workmen's comp.
Ohh, right! When Matthew, operating in a job-related capacity, was assisting me with my duties.
Mm-hmm.
What's the scam? We split the cash four ways? No, Joe.
It's for Matthew.
He doesn't have any health insurance.
Oh.
All right.
Sure Whatever I can do to help.
Okay, great.
Thanks.
Hey.
Remember last week when I fell off that ladder and hurt my back? No, I don't, Joe.
Okay.
Whatever.
Hey, Dave, how you doing? Good.
So you know what I did? I borrowed this from my sheet metal plant in New Jersey.
Thought maybe you could use it.
Whoops! Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
better make that, uh zero.
You got a marker, Dave? Hey, thanks! All right.
Zero! There we go.
So how'd this happen? Sir it really was, just, you know, another on-the-job injury.
Very unfortunate, but, you know, entirely work-related, as he was on the job working at the time.
Mm-hmm.
What was he doing changing a light bulb? He was helping Joe.
He was justhelping.
Dave, Matthew is a reporter.
He's not qualified to change the light bulb.
You know what kind of trouble I can get in with the Occupational Health and Safety Administration? Well, the facts are the facts, sir.
Couldn't he, I don't know couldn't he just say he was goofing off so I don't get in trouble? Oh, and would you be willing to pay his medical bills? I don't think my lawyer would like that.
Roger? Mr.
James? Can I pay his bill? Absolutely not.
That would set a precedent which could be exploited in other cases involving employees-- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thank you, Roger.
Wait in the car.
Well, sir, I would really hate to have to ask Matthew to lie.
No need.
I'll do it.
Matthew home right now? Yes.
Why? Roger wants to ask him a few questions.
The man is at home recuperating.
I don't think he's up to an interrogation.
I mean, can't Roger wait a few days? Roger? Yes, sir.
Can he wait a few days? No, sir.
Didn't I ask you to wait in the car? I--I'm going to go get you that address, sir.
Beth, come here.
Okay.
Mr.
James wants Matthew's home address.
Give him the wrong address, then call him 45 minutes later on his car phone and give him the correct address.
Also, find Lisa and tell her to meet me at Matthew's immediately.
Got it! Don't forget your martini, Mr.
Bond.
Sit down, sit down.
Come on.
UhSo, uh Please, sit down, sit down.
You're making me, like Sure.
So, tell me, Matthew, How're you, uh how're you feeling? Oh, it hurts.
They gave me some pills, but it still hurts.
I want to tell you, just don't worry about the medical bills, okay? I've taken care of it.
Wow, that's very generous of you, David.
Wait a minute.
How much do you make? Because I thought were both in the general same salary range No, I'm not paying it myself.
Workmen's comp is going to cover it.
Because you were working, right? You were helping Joe replace a light bulb.
Oh! Ha ha ha! So if anyone asks, you'll say Something tells me there's a little get-well-soon card in that envelope for you know who! Yes, there is, Matthew, but do you get the point we're trying to make? Matthew, give me this.
Careful.
Okay, you-- Here, let me just tell you about this.
There's a dog with a bandage on his paw, and it says, "roses are red, and we're all so blue" Could you just read what the people from work wrote? Okay.
"Hey, man, what kind of painkillers "did they give you? Ha ha.
Just kidding.
Beth.
" Ha ha! Could you read the messages in the voices of the people that wrote them? No.
Look, Matthew, this is important.
If anybody asks, you have to tell them that you hurt your hand Helping Joe change a light bulb.
Oh, no, no.
I can't do that.
Why not? Because that's not the truth, and I hate telling lies.
My face gets all hot.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Who--who is it? It's Jimmy.
Uh, just a second.
All you have to say is that you were helping Joe.
I'm sorry, I can't.
Hey! Mr.
James! Hey, well, how you feeling, big guy? Oh, it hurts.
It hurts, you know? They gave me pills, but it still hurts.
Matthew, do you remember-- thank you-- You remember earlier today when you were on your lunch hour, you were goofing around with Joe, and you hurt your hand? Actually, it was more around breakfast time.
Attaboy! Anyway, you think you'd be interested in signing a what's it called again, Roger? A legal affidavit affirming that you were involved, in fact, in a non-job-related goof-off situation.
Roger, that's enough.
Really.
Sir, I cannot stand for this.
Okay, okay, fine, you know, but if OSHA comes down on me OSHA's not going to come down on you.
Oh.
Fine.
Well, anyway.
Thank you, Matthew.
Thank you.
Oh, hey, hey.
I almost forgot.
Roger? Yes, sir.
Flowers? Feel better.
I'm sorry, David.
I just don't like telling lies.
Have you thought about the $14,000 medical bill? Actually, yeah.
I was going to ask you for a raise.
Or get a roommate or something.
Something to offset the whole thing.
Hey, is there more to that card? And here's Bill McNeal with The McNeal Perspective.
Thank you.
Yesterday I tried to call attention to a rival broadcaster's use of an obscene word on the airwaves.
I have subsequently been informed that the key issue is context.
That certain broadcaster, Dr.
Art Ulene, was using the word in a medical discussion about prostate conditions.
I guess that's supposed to make it a-okay.
I implore the owners of that station to start levying fines against their on-air personalities who use, no matter what the context, a word like "penis," but maybe I'm just old-fashioned.
I'm Bill McNeal, and that's The McNeal Perspective.
Catherine? The views offered in The McNeal Perspective do not necessarily reflect the views of this station, its management, or parent company.
Bill, if you want me to sign off on today's McNeal Perspective, you'd better get it to me soon.
Will do, chief.
Hi.
Uhsorry I'm late.
What's going on? Hi, I'm Dave Nelson.
Hey.
John Enghoff, Occupational Health and Safety Administration.
Welcome.
John, John, have you, uh, met my attorney, Roger? Hi.
I'm Roger Edwards.
Nice to meet you.
Hey, they make a great cup of coffee out there.
David, I have got to talk to Matthew before that guy does.
Matthew Brock? Yeah.
John Enghoff, Occupational Health and Safety Administration.
I need to ask you some questions.
Un momento, please.
Thanks.
Matthew, Mr.
James and Roger would like to see you in the kitchenette.
Who's Mr.
Jameson Rogerwood? Can I get you some coffee? Mr.
James and Roger, the lawyer.
And before they speak to you, I need to talk to you, Matthew.
About what? Excuse me, Dave.
I need to see Matthew in here for a moment, thank you.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
Okay, let's take a seat.
Hustle up, hustle up, hustle up.
Oh, you're Mr.
Rogerwood, right? Matthew, um, I got to apologize.
I'm sorry about last night.
I shouldn't have asked you to lie.
Oh, no, that's okay.
That's okay.
Because, of course, that's Roger's job.
Roger? Mr.
Brock, you do remember that during the accident, you were wearing protective gloves, safety goggles, and rubber-soled footwear as indicated in the Occupational Health and-- Yeah, et cetera, et cetera.
You remember all that.
I--I--I can't lie.
It's not in my nature.
I'm--I'm--I'm against lying.
Oh, I bet you could.
Really, I can't.
Okay, Roger.
Plan B.
On the résumé you used to get the job here at WNYX, you listed that you were as a cashier at Kroger's Market in 1982 and 1983.
Cashier, huh? Actually, I-- Yeah, you were never a cashier.
In fact, you never rose above the position of stock boy.
Stock boy! Your résumé also admits the fact that you were summarily dismissed from that job for stealing an apple pie? Yeah, but the thing was past its expiration date, and they told me to put it in the dumpster.
I put it in my car and I gave it to a homeless person.
Wow! That's like a real life Les Mis, huh? Hey, Roger.
Got any other whoppers in there about this guy? Do I ever.
I really don't want to hear any more whoppers.
This is starting to get ugly, all right? Now, I think I can clear the air, all right? David, I really can't lie.
There you are, Mr.
Brock.
Do you, uh, have a moment? Sure, John.
Come on in.
Okay.
If you could just give me a little background? Well, the first thing I did was put on my safety goggles and protective gloves.
As I walked down the hallway, my rubber-soled shoes were squeaking underneath me.
Well, first of all, if I could just get your date of birth? Oh.
12-21-65.
Anyway, I checked the ladder for metal fatigue, as we all do, and should.
Bill, I'm sorry I never got a chance to sign off on those McNeal Perspectives.
No problem.
So, uh, what were the topics, anyway? Oh, the usual stuff-- observations, analysis.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
You do understand that the station will have to fine you.
I'm prepared for that eventuality.
I'm willing to pay the price.
My message will be heard.
Howmuch will the fines be? I've got that for you.
So tomorrow's McNeal Perspective will be Turn signals.
How come no one uses them anymore? Oh, man, tell me about it! Thank you! Hey.
Hey, Matt.
I wa--I wasn't sleeping.
I know.
I know.
Mr.
James, I-- Did I do okay? Did you do okay? You did great! You did great.
Hey.
I'm just sorry we had to put you through all that.
It's okay.
It's okay.
How did you get all that dirt on me, anyways? We called your mom.
You must think I'm a terrible person.
No, no.
Not at all.
Not at all.
You know what? I got fired from my first job as a stock boy too.
Oh, for stealing pies? No, for funneling register overcharges into a shell account in a neighboring state.
Same principle, though.
You know, one time, I dropped a whole case of eggs.
You know what I mean? It was like-- Yeah, can't say I'm too interested in that, Matthew, but I'm sure it was something.
Oh, hey, hey, hey.
How are you fixed for medical insurance? Oh, don't have any.
Yeah, I know.
Your mom mentioned it, but I'll tell you what I'm going to do.
I'm going to put you on my plan.
Full medical.
Smile, Matthew.
I'm sorry.
I just feel bad that I had to put-- Just--just smile.
Yeah, better make it full dental too.
Well, no, Roger, absolutely not, and that's final! I'm sorry.
Am I interrupting something? Well, Roger here thinks that you haven't been entirely truthful with us.
Would you say, Mr.
Nelson, that you've been completely honest and forthright during your tenure here at WNYX? Uh, yes, I would.
Very interesting.
Under your résumé under "other interests," you list scuba diving.
Come on, Mr.
Nelson.
You've never scuba dived in your life.
How can you be so sure? We have our sources.
Because I have scuba dived.
I just never told my mother about it.
I didn't want her to worry.
Happy, Roger? ¿Cuánto tiempo estudiante español, Señor Nelson? Empecé estudiar español a los quince años y continué en la universidad.
¿Tienes otras preguntas, Roger? Roger, I want to see Dave alone for a minute.
Take the stairs.
Hey, hey! Will you look at that? What? Somebody left a coffee cup up on the light fixture.
Oh, so they did.
You know what? I'll bet you five bucks I could jump up there and get it.
Sir, I really don't think that's a good idea.
Three bucks.
Two bucks 50.
Okay, gentlemen's wager.
Mr.
James, I'd really rather you didn't-- Yeah! Whoa! I'll bet you didn't think I could do that.
No, I didn't.
Congratulations, sir.
Thank you very much.
So, you got any plans today? Yeah.
I told Matthew I'd come over and watch Melrose Place with him.
Oh, can I come? Sure.
Great.
Great.
I got a thing for one of Kimberly's personalities.
[.]