No Game, No Life (2014) s01e03 Episode Script
Expert
1 This woman, Kurami Zell, has won all her games in the tournament.
Is there no one left to challenge her? Wait, Sora.
Are you serious? You're going to crash the coronation? I just got reborn into this world.
I can't lose my place to live.
But All right I'll just become king, and take back our lost territory! Then, in accordance with the last wish of the former king, Expert I will crown Kurami Zell as our new king.
If anyone objects, speak now or forever hold yourâ Objection! Objection! I object! A-Are you saying you wish to challenge her? Yup.
Sending your servant after me just because you lost? This isn't a place to bring children to play, Stephanie Dola.
It's not a place where we can hand the throne to a con artist, either.
Especially one who's getting help from another country.
You see any, Shiro? One.
Anyone else hiding their ears? No.
That piece of flat scrap I've seen it before.
What do you mean? You don't know? Like, for example, if you gave the crown to someone who worked with the elves and used magic to win, this nation would be screwed, right? Elves?! Wh-What is the meaning of this? Are you accusing me of cheating, then? Please.
Didn't you hear me say it was just an example? Or does it actually ring a bell? All right.
If you've got an objection, we'll settle it with a game, just as you wish.
Yes! I'd appreciate that so much! B-But But if we're going to play poker, you'd better kick your helper over there out of the room.
E-Excuse me! That's an elf! Which means She was What? The con artist trying to play the cool beauty won't save her friend? I see.
You're working with some random elf to try to make me out to be an enemy of Imanity.
That's not a bad excuse you just came up with.
Why don't you leave, elf "helper"? Now we're ready, right? Sure.
In accordance with the pledges, I'll decide the game.
I'll pick a game where cheating is impossible.
Pledge five: The challenged party has the right to decide the rules of the game.
I'll avoid asking why you decided not to play poker this time, 'cause I'm just that nice! You're not very photogenic.
You'd be cuter if you smiled.
We'll have our game somewhere else.
I'll call you when it's ready.
Th-Then, she was using magic on us? You're too loud! Yeah.
Both Shiro and I noticed in the tavern.
Shiro noticed.
You're nitpicking, little sister.
So that secret tool you have can detect magic, then? What kind of magic did that elf use? No idea.
Magic's amazing.
If she can change what's on face-down cards, there's no way to prove it.
Play and you're sure to lose.
There's no way whatsoever to beat her.
Which is why we avoided that.
Listen.
I'll explain this as simply as I can.
First, this round-robin-style tournament to become king is full of holes.
If another country wins over an Imanity by promising to make them king, they can interfere with the games.
Plus, they're facing Imanities who can't detect magic, so they're sure to win.
Now they've got a puppet king, and they can do as they please with the country.
It's so simple that anyone could think of it.
And you know what the other races would think then? I knew someone like that would come.
Don't worry.
It's just another Imanity who's getting help from another race, like me.
This was not unexpected.
Kurami, will you be okay without me? I'll be fine.
So Kurami's convinced that another race is helping us! Yup.
She's got it in her head that there'll be a diplomatic war between two other nations taking place in Elkia.
Which means Kurami can't use magic like she did before! Hey! That means we can force her to play a game where cheating is impossible, right? Do you have flowers growing in your brain or something? Why are you being mean to me? They expected another country to intervene.
They're going to use some spell we can't detect this time, or something.
Then doesn't that just make things worse? They'll have planned out a game that at least appears fair on the surface.
They'll avoid using magic directly on us, like altering our memories or what we can see.
In other words, it won't be a game that's fundamentally impossible to win.
So what are you saying? As long as it's not an impossible game to win Blank will never lose.
There you have it.
I'll tell you the truth.
I'm working with the elves to secure a place for Imanity to live.
Once we've got the bare minimum amount of territory we need, I'll break ties with elves.
Wow.
Wow.
You didn't have to say it out loud, little sister.
You're saying this to someone who might be a foreign spy? Are you stupid? Do you want to die? Think about it.
The only way for Imanity to survive is to earn the right to live under the protection of another race, then give up on all games and shut themselves off from the rest of the world.
It's the only way! Stephanie Dola, you understand this, right? Well And Elvengarde is the largest nation in the world.
Their magic is unbeatable by any race.
It's impossible to beat me, so I want you to withdraw from the game.
I swear I won't let the elves make me their puppet.
Sora I see.
We earn the right to live under another nation's protection.
It's not a bad plan.
Right? Then you'll withdraâ But I refuse! Menacing One of the things Blank loves best is saying "No" to people who think they've got an absolute advantage.
"Lines we wanted to say someday," #4! We actually got to say it! Great job, Brother! Looks like I was wasting my time.
I'll destroy you by force, then, just as you wish.
Right here.
Why? Why what? What she just said! I thought it made sense Look, isn't it about time you learned not to be so trusting? First, what proof do we have that anything she said is true? Second, if she's sure to win, why did she ask us to withdraw? Third, even if it is true, I might be a spy from another country.
Anyone dumb enough to tell me all that has no business running a country.
Fourth, if we go along with her and she finds out anything about us, we are screwed! Okay? Wow, you put all that thought into what you said?! Well, that's not all She and you are both underestimating humanity too much.
Chess? Yes.
But this isn't a normal game of chess.
The pieces have wills of their own.
Give them orders and they'll move.
Just say the word and they'll do as told.
So that's it.
What do we do, Shiro? Chess is no different than tic-tac-toe.
Hey, we can rotate mid-game, right? Brother Sorry, but the two of us are a single player.
And this is a game that you seem to know very well, while we don't They'll never figure out the trick.
As you wish.
Brother, do you think I'm going to lose? You're getting too excited, Shiro.
There's not a chance in a million you'd lose at chess.
But this isn't normal chess.
Don't forget.
The two of us are a single player.
The two of us together are Blank.
I'm sorry.
I'll be careful.
Okay.
Are you done? You can make the first move.
Then let the game begin! Aschente (I swear by the pledges) Aschente! Kurami D-2 to D-4.
Chess favors the first player.
If both players always pick their best moves, the first player is more likely to win.
It moved! There's no way she doesn't know that.
G-7, forward.
It moved three spaces! That's against the rules! I told you.
In this chess game, the pieces have wills of their own.
I get it.
The pieces reflect the player's charisma, leadership, and potential as king when they move.
That's right.
Don't you think it's the perfect game to decide who will be king? Knight to C-3.
F-7, forward.
"Forward"? What kind of order is that? Just shut up and watch.
E-2 to E-4.
F-5, take her piece.
You mustn't forget: C-3, take E-4.
Once Shiro gets into a game, she has incredible concentration.
H-2 to H-3.
Knight, take H-3.
That's how she could defeat even a god.
Queen, H-5.
Check.
Th-That's amazing! Kurami's almost entirely ignoring the rules, and she's still destroying her! There's nothing strange about it at all.
In shogi, too, a first-rate player is capable of defeating his opponent with nothing but his king and pawns.
Breaking a few rules isn't enough to overtake that kind of skill.
F-2 to F-4.
But F-2 to F-4.
It's not moving.
I knew it.
What do you mean? The key to this chess game is that, sometimes, the pieces won't move.
No soldier would gladly go to a place where he knows he'll be killed.
Only a level of morale that borders on madness could make them do that.
Then That's right.
She can't sacrifice any of her pieces.
What will you do? You're running out of time.
Knight, take H-7.
A-2 to A-3.
Bishop, forward.
Take the enemy knight.
Knight, take H-5.
D-4 to D-5.
A-3 Bishop Sh-Shiro I'm sorry.
Brother I lost I'm sorry Sora Shiro! Sora? Attention all forces! By my authority as king, anyone who fights valiantly in this battle will earn the right to bang any woman they like! To do what?! And all of you soldiers fighting on the front line: If we win, you will be excused from further military duties, and given an exemption from taxes for the rest of your life, as well as a monetary reward from your country! Therefore, virgins, do not die! And all of you who have family or people you love, come back alive! Th-That's irresponsible! Thanks to you, I realized that the game we're playing isn't chess.
This is a strategy game.
I'll handle the rest.
If I start to lose my head, help me.
Just watch.
This game is right up my alley.
Pawn squad 6! The enemy is advancing from the front line! Intercept them and cut them off! He can't do that! Cavalry squad 2! Don't waste the opportunity the pawns gave you! You, king and queen! Get your asses to the front line! W-Wait! It's my turn! Huh? In a real war, what fool waits for their enemy's "turn"? Pawns! Advance! Form a defensive wall! Look at them! Those cowards, hiding themselves behind their soldiers! What kind of king makes his men fight at the front line while he sits behind them relaxing? What did you say? Listen to me, soldiers! This battle will decide who controls this city, the final fortress of Elkia of humanity! This battle will determine the fate of our people! Open your eyes! Do you really want to give the nation's crown to a stupid girl like her? But if we win She will be your queen! This girl who, just a moment ago, closed off her heart for your sakes, to lead you to victory! This girl, who is crying inside because you refused her as merciless! And you call yourselves men?! Wh-What is this overwhelming power? Proud knights, bishops, rooks! Show me deeds befitting of your rank! Back up the pawns so they may do their duty! This is impossible! That's right.
You're using elf magic to force your own troops' morale higher.
You explain it all away by saying you have more charisma than we do.
Of course.
It's the perfect way to cheat.
But you made one big mistake.
What? Throughout all of history, no wise king has ever forced his army to obey him through oppression.
People will only truly fight for what is right.
And there is only one thing that is truly right in this world! One thing that's truly right? The one true, unchanging righteousness in the world is cuteness! Cute makes right! All our needs, desires, and instincts seek cuteness, and it is for cuteness that we will give everything we have! That's just the way men are! That That's not As long as I don't know what race is helping them, there's a chance they'll find me out.
But I have to do it! King to E-6! What? What happened to that piece? This is bad.
Retreat! All forces retreat! The enemy is using brainwashing magic! He found out? Wh-What's happening? Just don't let them touch you! It's okay.
They don't have proof.
Hurry and retreat! And if they can't prove I'm cheating, Retreat! I win! All forces, advance! Crap.
Crap.
Crap.
Crap.
Crap.
I screwed up! I screwed up! I screwed up! I thought she only had one cheat up her sleeve and eliminated any other possibilities.
I just made the same mistake I lectured Steph about! Why couldn't I figure out that one last thing? Brother Take the enemy king's head, queen.
This is checkmate.
Queen! Whaâ Sora! Queen, put down your sword.
You are beautiful! Huh? Oh, queen Just once, consider this: Is that king worthy of your service? That king who brainwashes his soldiers, uses them as weapons and tools, and even forces you to bear the brunt of the assault? Is he worthy of your sword? Please reconsider! Who are your people? Where are those you must protect? Romance simulation games are one of the few genres where I'm better than my sister.
He got us the enemy queen! He's turned it around! No.
They're using magic that lets them brainwash others just by touching them.
Adding one piece to our ranks changes nothing.
No What do I do? What are you gonna do, 18-year-old virgin? There is a way, but If she doesn't try to break out of this, we're done! No, is it dangerous to wait? Maybe I should make the next move No! What do I do? There's no time to correct my mistake and come up with something elâ Brother Shiro? The two of us are Blank together.
It's okay! No.
I mustn't be intimidated.
Knight! Slay the traitor queen! She took the bait! Knight, what's wrong? This is it! This is the one way to win! Shiro, you command the army! Keep their forces from brainwashing us! Piece of cake! What are you going to do? You know what, Steph? There's more than one way to win a game.
You can win without fighting! Grandmaster How can you not take this game seriously?
Is there no one left to challenge her? Wait, Sora.
Are you serious? You're going to crash the coronation? I just got reborn into this world.
I can't lose my place to live.
But All right I'll just become king, and take back our lost territory! Then, in accordance with the last wish of the former king, Expert I will crown Kurami Zell as our new king.
If anyone objects, speak now or forever hold yourâ Objection! Objection! I object! A-Are you saying you wish to challenge her? Yup.
Sending your servant after me just because you lost? This isn't a place to bring children to play, Stephanie Dola.
It's not a place where we can hand the throne to a con artist, either.
Especially one who's getting help from another country.
You see any, Shiro? One.
Anyone else hiding their ears? No.
That piece of flat scrap I've seen it before.
What do you mean? You don't know? Like, for example, if you gave the crown to someone who worked with the elves and used magic to win, this nation would be screwed, right? Elves?! Wh-What is the meaning of this? Are you accusing me of cheating, then? Please.
Didn't you hear me say it was just an example? Or does it actually ring a bell? All right.
If you've got an objection, we'll settle it with a game, just as you wish.
Yes! I'd appreciate that so much! B-But But if we're going to play poker, you'd better kick your helper over there out of the room.
E-Excuse me! That's an elf! Which means She was What? The con artist trying to play the cool beauty won't save her friend? I see.
You're working with some random elf to try to make me out to be an enemy of Imanity.
That's not a bad excuse you just came up with.
Why don't you leave, elf "helper"? Now we're ready, right? Sure.
In accordance with the pledges, I'll decide the game.
I'll pick a game where cheating is impossible.
Pledge five: The challenged party has the right to decide the rules of the game.
I'll avoid asking why you decided not to play poker this time, 'cause I'm just that nice! You're not very photogenic.
You'd be cuter if you smiled.
We'll have our game somewhere else.
I'll call you when it's ready.
Th-Then, she was using magic on us? You're too loud! Yeah.
Both Shiro and I noticed in the tavern.
Shiro noticed.
You're nitpicking, little sister.
So that secret tool you have can detect magic, then? What kind of magic did that elf use? No idea.
Magic's amazing.
If she can change what's on face-down cards, there's no way to prove it.
Play and you're sure to lose.
There's no way whatsoever to beat her.
Which is why we avoided that.
Listen.
I'll explain this as simply as I can.
First, this round-robin-style tournament to become king is full of holes.
If another country wins over an Imanity by promising to make them king, they can interfere with the games.
Plus, they're facing Imanities who can't detect magic, so they're sure to win.
Now they've got a puppet king, and they can do as they please with the country.
It's so simple that anyone could think of it.
And you know what the other races would think then? I knew someone like that would come.
Don't worry.
It's just another Imanity who's getting help from another race, like me.
This was not unexpected.
Kurami, will you be okay without me? I'll be fine.
So Kurami's convinced that another race is helping us! Yup.
She's got it in her head that there'll be a diplomatic war between two other nations taking place in Elkia.
Which means Kurami can't use magic like she did before! Hey! That means we can force her to play a game where cheating is impossible, right? Do you have flowers growing in your brain or something? Why are you being mean to me? They expected another country to intervene.
They're going to use some spell we can't detect this time, or something.
Then doesn't that just make things worse? They'll have planned out a game that at least appears fair on the surface.
They'll avoid using magic directly on us, like altering our memories or what we can see.
In other words, it won't be a game that's fundamentally impossible to win.
So what are you saying? As long as it's not an impossible game to win Blank will never lose.
There you have it.
I'll tell you the truth.
I'm working with the elves to secure a place for Imanity to live.
Once we've got the bare minimum amount of territory we need, I'll break ties with elves.
Wow.
Wow.
You didn't have to say it out loud, little sister.
You're saying this to someone who might be a foreign spy? Are you stupid? Do you want to die? Think about it.
The only way for Imanity to survive is to earn the right to live under the protection of another race, then give up on all games and shut themselves off from the rest of the world.
It's the only way! Stephanie Dola, you understand this, right? Well And Elvengarde is the largest nation in the world.
Their magic is unbeatable by any race.
It's impossible to beat me, so I want you to withdraw from the game.
I swear I won't let the elves make me their puppet.
Sora I see.
We earn the right to live under another nation's protection.
It's not a bad plan.
Right? Then you'll withdraâ But I refuse! Menacing One of the things Blank loves best is saying "No" to people who think they've got an absolute advantage.
"Lines we wanted to say someday," #4! We actually got to say it! Great job, Brother! Looks like I was wasting my time.
I'll destroy you by force, then, just as you wish.
Right here.
Why? Why what? What she just said! I thought it made sense Look, isn't it about time you learned not to be so trusting? First, what proof do we have that anything she said is true? Second, if she's sure to win, why did she ask us to withdraw? Third, even if it is true, I might be a spy from another country.
Anyone dumb enough to tell me all that has no business running a country.
Fourth, if we go along with her and she finds out anything about us, we are screwed! Okay? Wow, you put all that thought into what you said?! Well, that's not all She and you are both underestimating humanity too much.
Chess? Yes.
But this isn't a normal game of chess.
The pieces have wills of their own.
Give them orders and they'll move.
Just say the word and they'll do as told.
So that's it.
What do we do, Shiro? Chess is no different than tic-tac-toe.
Hey, we can rotate mid-game, right? Brother Sorry, but the two of us are a single player.
And this is a game that you seem to know very well, while we don't They'll never figure out the trick.
As you wish.
Brother, do you think I'm going to lose? You're getting too excited, Shiro.
There's not a chance in a million you'd lose at chess.
But this isn't normal chess.
Don't forget.
The two of us are a single player.
The two of us together are Blank.
I'm sorry.
I'll be careful.
Okay.
Are you done? You can make the first move.
Then let the game begin! Aschente (I swear by the pledges) Aschente! Kurami D-2 to D-4.
Chess favors the first player.
If both players always pick their best moves, the first player is more likely to win.
It moved! There's no way she doesn't know that.
G-7, forward.
It moved three spaces! That's against the rules! I told you.
In this chess game, the pieces have wills of their own.
I get it.
The pieces reflect the player's charisma, leadership, and potential as king when they move.
That's right.
Don't you think it's the perfect game to decide who will be king? Knight to C-3.
F-7, forward.
"Forward"? What kind of order is that? Just shut up and watch.
E-2 to E-4.
F-5, take her piece.
You mustn't forget: C-3, take E-4.
Once Shiro gets into a game, she has incredible concentration.
H-2 to H-3.
Knight, take H-3.
That's how she could defeat even a god.
Queen, H-5.
Check.
Th-That's amazing! Kurami's almost entirely ignoring the rules, and she's still destroying her! There's nothing strange about it at all.
In shogi, too, a first-rate player is capable of defeating his opponent with nothing but his king and pawns.
Breaking a few rules isn't enough to overtake that kind of skill.
F-2 to F-4.
But F-2 to F-4.
It's not moving.
I knew it.
What do you mean? The key to this chess game is that, sometimes, the pieces won't move.
No soldier would gladly go to a place where he knows he'll be killed.
Only a level of morale that borders on madness could make them do that.
Then That's right.
She can't sacrifice any of her pieces.
What will you do? You're running out of time.
Knight, take H-7.
A-2 to A-3.
Bishop, forward.
Take the enemy knight.
Knight, take H-5.
D-4 to D-5.
A-3 Bishop Sh-Shiro I'm sorry.
Brother I lost I'm sorry Sora Shiro! Sora? Attention all forces! By my authority as king, anyone who fights valiantly in this battle will earn the right to bang any woman they like! To do what?! And all of you soldiers fighting on the front line: If we win, you will be excused from further military duties, and given an exemption from taxes for the rest of your life, as well as a monetary reward from your country! Therefore, virgins, do not die! And all of you who have family or people you love, come back alive! Th-That's irresponsible! Thanks to you, I realized that the game we're playing isn't chess.
This is a strategy game.
I'll handle the rest.
If I start to lose my head, help me.
Just watch.
This game is right up my alley.
Pawn squad 6! The enemy is advancing from the front line! Intercept them and cut them off! He can't do that! Cavalry squad 2! Don't waste the opportunity the pawns gave you! You, king and queen! Get your asses to the front line! W-Wait! It's my turn! Huh? In a real war, what fool waits for their enemy's "turn"? Pawns! Advance! Form a defensive wall! Look at them! Those cowards, hiding themselves behind their soldiers! What kind of king makes his men fight at the front line while he sits behind them relaxing? What did you say? Listen to me, soldiers! This battle will decide who controls this city, the final fortress of Elkia of humanity! This battle will determine the fate of our people! Open your eyes! Do you really want to give the nation's crown to a stupid girl like her? But if we win She will be your queen! This girl who, just a moment ago, closed off her heart for your sakes, to lead you to victory! This girl, who is crying inside because you refused her as merciless! And you call yourselves men?! Wh-What is this overwhelming power? Proud knights, bishops, rooks! Show me deeds befitting of your rank! Back up the pawns so they may do their duty! This is impossible! That's right.
You're using elf magic to force your own troops' morale higher.
You explain it all away by saying you have more charisma than we do.
Of course.
It's the perfect way to cheat.
But you made one big mistake.
What? Throughout all of history, no wise king has ever forced his army to obey him through oppression.
People will only truly fight for what is right.
And there is only one thing that is truly right in this world! One thing that's truly right? The one true, unchanging righteousness in the world is cuteness! Cute makes right! All our needs, desires, and instincts seek cuteness, and it is for cuteness that we will give everything we have! That's just the way men are! That That's not As long as I don't know what race is helping them, there's a chance they'll find me out.
But I have to do it! King to E-6! What? What happened to that piece? This is bad.
Retreat! All forces retreat! The enemy is using brainwashing magic! He found out? Wh-What's happening? Just don't let them touch you! It's okay.
They don't have proof.
Hurry and retreat! And if they can't prove I'm cheating, Retreat! I win! All forces, advance! Crap.
Crap.
Crap.
Crap.
Crap.
I screwed up! I screwed up! I screwed up! I thought she only had one cheat up her sleeve and eliminated any other possibilities.
I just made the same mistake I lectured Steph about! Why couldn't I figure out that one last thing? Brother Take the enemy king's head, queen.
This is checkmate.
Queen! Whaâ Sora! Queen, put down your sword.
You are beautiful! Huh? Oh, queen Just once, consider this: Is that king worthy of your service? That king who brainwashes his soldiers, uses them as weapons and tools, and even forces you to bear the brunt of the assault? Is he worthy of your sword? Please reconsider! Who are your people? Where are those you must protect? Romance simulation games are one of the few genres where I'm better than my sister.
He got us the enemy queen! He's turned it around! No.
They're using magic that lets them brainwash others just by touching them.
Adding one piece to our ranks changes nothing.
No What do I do? What are you gonna do, 18-year-old virgin? There is a way, but If she doesn't try to break out of this, we're done! No, is it dangerous to wait? Maybe I should make the next move No! What do I do? There's no time to correct my mistake and come up with something elâ Brother Shiro? The two of us are Blank together.
It's okay! No.
I mustn't be intimidated.
Knight! Slay the traitor queen! She took the bait! Knight, what's wrong? This is it! This is the one way to win! Shiro, you command the army! Keep their forces from brainwashing us! Piece of cake! What are you going to do? You know what, Steph? There's more than one way to win a game.
You can win without fighting! Grandmaster How can you not take this game seriously?