No Ordinary Family s01e08 Episode Script

No Ordinary Accident

Every story has a beginning.
We were just an ordinary family until hold on! Oh, my God! Something extraordinary has happened.
Aah! You can jump just over a quarter mile, can lift 11,000 pounds.
I'm fast.
I can hear people's thoughts.
I've got, like, this super-brain.
Don't you see? I can finally make a difference.
I want you to keep an eye on Dr.
Stephanie Powell and those closest to her.
Will? That's me.
Anybody home? All right.
What is going on? Just keep your eyes closed.
They are closed.
Oh, look at you.
You're worse than the kids.
What? Honey.
Oh! All right.
Open your eyes.
Oh, my.
Well, Daphne's at Megan's, J.
's at Kenny's, and you're mine.
I mean, how long has it been since we had a night dedicated to just us? Two years.
It's seriously been that long since you cooked for someone? Well, I mean, it takes a pretty special woman to be invited to Chez Jorge.
Uh, what was that? Nothin'.
What? Oh, th you know what? My neighbors they are so loud.
You know, I'm just let me just go tell 'em to hold it down a little bit.
No, I I think it was coming from your garage.
No, no.
You know what that is? It's the acoustics in this place are just crazy.
It's like, you know, the hardwood and I'm-a just go tell 'em to hold it down.
Central "k" calling all cars in the vicinity of downtown.
There's a 2-11 in progress.
Be advised.
Boundaries, Jim.
Ignore the batphone.
Tonight's for us.
See? Couldn't have been that important.
Hmm? You're right.
Where were we? Hi, George.
Hey, what's up sorry about that, Stephanie.
Is, uh, Jim around? I got something for him.
So did I, until about It's George.
Hey, George.
Make it quick.
Hey, we finally got a break on those carjackers we've been trying to track down.
They hit again.
Oh, we've been over this.
These guys are pros.
By the time the crime is reported, it's too late.
The cars are already chopped and shopped.
Not this time.
The call went out as "in progress.
" This could be our chance to finally bust 'em, Jim.
What's it gonna be, man, the nooky or the crookie? Whoa! No, no, no, no! Oh, come on.
Come on! Come on.
No, no, no, no, no, no! I was going to block the car's path, and I don't know what happened.
It's like my strength just gave out.
Did you feel anything strange beforehand, like a nerve pinch, rush of fatigue, headache? No, nothing specific.
Just weaker.
You know, it could be a confidence problem, like performance anxiety.
The only thing ruining his performance are your phone calls.
It's nothing.
It's I'm probably just a little worn out.
That's all.
I'm sure you're right, honey, but I should take a blood sample just to be safe.
Is that really necessary? All right.
Now clench your fist.
Ha! Ha ha ha! I'm back! See that? Invulnerability check.
Oh! Strength Check.
Ha ha! You see? It's probably just a glitch.
Still wanna check the blood? I got a power drill in the trunk of my car.
Ah, that's all right.
I have an easier way.
Open up and say "ah.
" N-no, no, no "Ah.
" I'm telling ya, it you're wasting your time.
I'm fine.
I'm sure you are, honey.
These scores account for 60% of your grade.
For those of you who failed, you're looking at math lab over winter break.
Joy for me.
How'd you do? That's impossible.
You knew this material backwards and forwards.
Wait a second.
I think there's been a mistake.
You gave Kenny an "f," but his answers are almost all correct.
You're right, only they're not his answers.
They're yours.
What are you talking about? Your answers match, Mr.
Powell, down to the variables.
I'm afraid your friend has been cheating off you.
No, I didn't.
, I swear.
Oh, so in one semester, I took two young men who didn't know a trapezoid from a trapeze and turned them into Ivy leaguers? Trust me.
I'm a good teacher.
Not that good.
Well, maybe I am.
Kenny was having trouble, so I tutored him.
Oh, now it all makes sense.
Jock gets nerd on football team.
Nerd lets jock cheat off of him.
What an adorable little "breakfast club" you two have going on.
Well, I'm afraid it won't turn out to be "some kind of wonderful" for you, Mr.
The grades are already in the school computer, which means you failed my class.
Good day, Mr.
Transcripts go out tomorrow, and if I got an "f" sitting there killing my g.
, that means no football scholarship.
You're gonna keep your scholarship.
I promise.
This is my fault, and I'm gonna take care of it.
How? Just leave it to me.
His name is will, and he's a dash of Edward mixed with a smidge of Wolverine.
Which means absolutely nothing to you.
No, of course I know who Wolverine is.
Uh, he's the one with the muttonchops and the really long nails.
They're claws, actually.
And this is sexy? Okay, we're gonna go back to science, before somebody says something they might regret.
Good idea.
Okay, um Hmm.
So Jim's lab work mm-Hmm.
We have bad news, and we have really bad news.
The structure of the super-cells in Jim's body has kind of been completely altered.
The only thing that can alter genetic code is a virus.
A virus.
Hence the really bad news.
There are millions of viruses in the world, and it could be any one of them.
Well, which virus is making Jim lose his powers? So you ready for that art history quiz tomorrow? Uh, sort of.
Any chance you wanna get together later tonight and compare notes? Sure.
Catch you guys later.
Aren't you worried about Kristy? You know, girlfriend? What about her? I need to study, and Caravaggio gives her a headache.
Kristy and I have nothing in common.
You know, it must be really tough dating somebody who's so different from you.
You know, different hobbies, different movie preferences, different taste in cuisine.
Hey, if you had to pick one food to eat for the rest of your life, what would it be? I would totally choose Sushi.
Does that sound lame? Easy.
So how about before our cram session tonight, we go out for some Sushi? It would be nice to go with someone who appreciates it, someone who, when I say "arigato gozaimasu," doesn't say "God bless you.
" Exactly.
You speak Japanese? Speak it? I'm practically fluent.
You just keep getting cooler.
I guess I'll find you later? Yeah.
See ya later.
All right.
Let's look at the problem here.
Fifth car in the last month.
No witnesses, no pattern, no locations on their chop shop.
These are just cars we're talking about, man.
Just leave it to the cops.
We're not talking about a few kids looking for a new ride.
Everyone they've jacked has been sent to the emergency room.
Maybe next time it'll be the morgue.
That's true, but, man Bro, are you sure you're up to it? This is about what happened last night? My little power outage? As your loyal sidekick and best friend, I'm worried about you.
How many times do I have to say it? I'm fine.
I know.
But what if you're out there lifting a bus, and all then all of a sudden, you're not fine? Jim, superman had a fortress of solitude, and you know what it was? A vacation home.
Even superman took the occasional 3-day weekend.
I don't need a vacation.
I need to catch these guys.
Are you with me or not? All right then.
Let's go kick some butt.
Ohh! Sorry! Ow.
Whoa, whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You are not supposed to be saying "ouch.
" George, what's happening to me? What the hell are you doing? Listen to me.
Kenny studied hard.
He knew this material and I've got you now.
Worse than cheating.
What you just did is a criminal offense.
That's the school's computer.
I'd quit worrying about your friend, because the one who's in real trouble is you.
This is bad, George.
This is really bad.
Calm down.
I know what I said earlier, but you're gonna be fine.
No! We have to face facts.
What if my powers are just temporary? Jim, you are talking crazy now.
That's not happening.
You don't know that! Ha! Hey! Whoa.
You keep that sledgehammer away from me, man.
You ain't gonna crush these delicate hands.
Hey, J.
, what's going on? You did what? Help us understand this, J.
I tutored Kenny.
He knew that material.
The only reason that Litchfield flunked him was because he thinks that I'm a cheater.
Kenny's whole life was gonna get screwed up because of me.
I I had to do something.
It wasn't fair.
It's not up to you to decide what's fair, J.
You broke the law! So what? You guys do it all the time.
That's not the same thing.
Mom, you zip all over the city.
At the very least, you're guilty of speeding.
And, dad, you're some secret crime-fighter.
Every time you get physical with a suspect, technically that's assault and battery.
We don't have to explain ourselves.
We're adults.
Who make judgment calls all the time to help people! Look, your father and I will go speak with your teacher, J.
Go ahead.
Remember how hard it was to argue with a teenager that didn't have a super-brain? I I'll go see Litchfield, see if I can get him to change his mind.
No, I'll do it.
You've been pushing yourself too hard lately.
I'm still working on it, but I think you might have contracted a virus that could be having an effect on your immune system.
Uh, had.
Have you noticed your kitchen counter lately? Mm.
Besides, I don't need superpowers to talk to a math teacher.
I'm fine.
Trust me.
Hey, so Bret Martin asked me out on a Sushi date tonight.
I've got bigger fish not to fry.
Clearly your giant brain hasn't changed your ability to make bad puns.
Listen, remember how you helped me in the museum with all that art knowledge? I need you to do it again, but this time with Japanese.
Just download everything you can, and sit in the back of the Sushi bar, and I'll read your mind.
No way.
I'm not gonna help you lie just so some guy will like you.
But I told him I spoke Japanese.
What I am supposed to do? I don't know, but you lied your way in.
Now lie your way out.
Stephanie Powell is still pursuing the late Dr.
Volson's research on the trilsettum coronis.
It's imperative that I know why.
You will.
I found a way to get close to her.
I trust this way is both cautious and reliable? She won't suspect a thing.
Have you checked Jim's sample against any viral conditions? Every virus that I could think of.
But the truth is, anything could be causing your husband's reaction.
I mean, your family's genetic code is so unique and unexplored.
I mean, we're like scientific spelunkers here.
And what if it's not a virus but a hypersensitivity, like an allergy? Oh, my God.
This one time, I was on a trip to Russia, and I thought I was allergic to the water.
Turns out, I was just drinking vodka.
Yeah, uh An allergen could provoke a systemic reaction, causing.
Jim's immune system to attack the mutations in his cells.
We need to gather and test any new stimuli at the house, anything that Jim could've come into contact with.
All right.
Good idea.
I'm on it.
Hey, Katie.
It's me.
Is it more presumptuous for you to assume that I know who "me" is, or for me to assume that "me" is you? Uh, have dinner with me tonight.
Well, um I would love to, but my boss my boss really needs me.
Well, you have to eat.
Um, would you text me later? Okay.
Was that the new guy? Are you going on another date? No, it's nothing.
Just dinner.
I'm glad you're going.
I miss those days, when all I had to worry about was whether Jim liked me, not the causal factors impeding his superpowers.
Get out! Get out now! Can you just wait a minute and talk this out? We've talked enough, Mr.
I'm not changing my mind.
Look, I know what J.
did was wrong, but he thought he was doing the right thing.
Besides, you don't have any proof that he cheated.
And I don't need it.
After I witnessed him hacking the school's computer, mere cheating suddenly seems quaint.
Teenagers make mistakes all the time.
If you weren't so busy abusing your power as a teacher, you'd see that! Oh, you wanna see an abuse of power? Wait till I report J.
To the school board and the police department first thing in the morning.
Litchfield, I really wish you'd reconsider.
Dad, it's fine.
Oh, my God.
Dad, do something! J.
, stay back! Oh, God.
Dad, please help him! I'm trying! J.
, call 9-1-1.
What was wrong with you, dad? I mean, why couldn't you get Mr.
Litchfield out of that car? I I'm not sure, J.
I mean, you've ripped our door off its hinges, like, three times by accident, and now you couldn't even budge the metal.
Look, I'm not sure why, but something's happening with my powers.
They're inconsistent.
What do you mean? Like you're losing them? I don't know.
Litchfield? Your husband's in critical condition and heavily sedated.
The force of the collision drove a section of galvanized steel pipe into his chest, piercing his aorta, and it damaged the artery, but the pipe is preventing massive hemorrhaging.
I'm afraid if we try and remove it, he'll bleed out.
The Tell me he's not going to die.
At this point, surgery is too risky.
I'm sorry.
Come on.
Come on.
This happened because of me.
Wait, wait.
What are you talking about? The proximate cause the philosophical notion that if not for a specific action, a particular result would not have occurred.
You lost me at "proximate.
" Mr.
Litchfield was only in that particular parking lot at that specific time because of my actions.
This is my fault.
Listen to me.
The person who hit Mr.
Litchfield is the only person responsible here, J.
A criminal.
Not you.
This is not your fault.
This is all my fault.
If I had stopped those carjackers the other night, they wouldn't be driving around crashing into math teachers.
It's a proximate cause or something.
You and your son have a lot in common.
You're both very good at feeling responsible for things you had nothing to do with.
Have you learned anything else about what's going on with my powers? Well, Katie conducted a viral screen on your d.
, and it came back negative.
Now she's thinking you might be having some sort of severe allergic reaction.
Reaction? Mm-Hmm.
To what? Well, she's running every possible allergen, but it's gonna take some time.
Until then, no more crime-fighting.
Just until you get your powers back.
But what if they don't come back? Oh.
What he said.
I thought you were supposed to be some kind of Japanese expert.
Oh, I am.
I I just don't wanna seem like I'm a show-off.
No, no.
I'm excited to see how much you know.
Hey, why don't you order for us? Oh, uh, I don't know if you want me to do that.
I have kind of an adventurous palate.
Do it.
I'll eat anything you put in front of me.
California roll? No, we would actually like to try something a little bit more, uh, exotic, like, um Mukade? Hebo? Odori? Mukade, hebo, and odori.
So, uh, what'd you get? Uh, how about we have it be a surprise? All right.
Dancing prawns.
Look, I I know that it's an accident, but You're here 'cause of me, and it's all my fault.
I just wish that there was something I could do to help.
I didn't need your help after all.
All I had to do was read the Sushi chef's mind.
Thanks, but I'm kinda in the middle of something right now.
I mean, I did have to eat a lot of gross stuff, but it was so worth it.
Bret's even more into me now.
Cool, right? What a waste of your powers.
You're manipulating some guy into liking you, and it's not even you you're getting him to like.
Quit judging me.
You've done way worse.
Maybe so, but who knows how long these powers are gonna last, and if they were to somehow end today, you have to ask yourself, did you do the best you could with them while you had the chance? All right.
'Cause I am.
I know how to help Mr.
His surgery seems impossible, but it's not.
Listen, J.
, I know you wanna help your teacher, but the doctor said he can't perform the surgery.
He's right.
He can't.
But mom can.
Well no, I mean, I haven't been in an operating room since I finished medical school.
What can I do that a surgeon can't? Nothing.
You can just do it about a quadrillion times as fast.
See, if an ordinary surgeon were to pull out that pipe, Mr.
Litchfield's chest cavity would fill with blood before they could sutur.
The key is to suture the aorta before he bleeds out.
Now mom is the only person fast enough to fix it once the object has been extracted.
Hold up.
Hold up.
This is a man's life we're talking about here.
Yeah, a man who will die without this surgery.
Now I know that mom can't do it alone, which is why I'll be there.
We can do it together.
A-all right.
That's enough crazy talk for one night.
It's too risky.
Our powers aren't always reliable.
Just because your powers are broken doesn't mean that ours are.
Hey, you're not going through with this surgery.
End of story.
Another carjacking left a man in critical condition as thieves literally threw him from his car in the midst of this busy intersection.
Oh, think of all the people you already have helped.
Or all the people that will need my help.
I think I understand what J.
's going through, wanting to fix everything and not being able to.
Maybe I should've been more sympathetic.
Maybe you should be telling him that.
? Look, kid, I know you're mad at me J.
? Stephanie! Jim.
, what are you doing here? Exactly what you think.
If you're not gonna help me, I'm gonna save his life by myself.
Look, you can't, and even if you tried, you're not fast enough to tie the sutures.
Either way, he is gonna die.
At least this way I will have done something.
Oh, honey.
Look, I know you feel badly, but this wasn't your fault.
Maybe not, but if we just let him die, then it is our fault.
I didn't ask for these powers, but I have them, and I couldn't live with myself knowing that I could've helped him and didn't.
Can you? Okay.
But if we're gonna do this, we're gonna do this as a family.
You know, it's funny.
Most people you meet online have this Bruce Wayne profile, and then in person they're Napoleon dynamite.
You are the opposite.
You're, like, this super-geek online And then in person, you're actually cool.
No, I'm still a geek.
I just try to leave my work at the office.
Uh, what do you do? Consultant.
But my boss has boundary issues, so I try to keep my work separate from the rest of my life.
And your boss? What's he like? Oh, Dr.
She is brilliant.
Like like, I don't think there's any problem that she can't solve, so I just You know, I try and be the pepper potts to her Tony stark.
Uh, minus all the awkward sexual tension, of course.
That'd be weird.
It's nice having someone like that in your life.
I lost my folks when I was 6, so I was in and out of foster homes.
I mean, things could've gone badly for me, and he took me under his wing and and changed my life.
I mean, you know, the way you were talking about your boss reminds me of him.
Isn't it amazing how someone can just show up and make you feel something when you least expect it? Hey, uh, the O.
s in that wing are closed for maintenance.
I know.
I'm taking him to imaging for a C.
Dad said you could've been a surgeon.
Yes, but I thought I could help more people with research.
Plus, I'm a little squeamish with blood.
Okay, guys.
The patient's in the O.
I'll stand guard outside.
Good luck.
I can monitor his vitals and adjust the anesthesia.
You can do that? Super-genius, remember? I started with 20 milligrams of midazolam, and remember, once the pipe is extracted, you have three milliseconds to suture the aorta.
What? Nothing.
It's just Well, when I envisioned us spending time together, I was imagining something more along the lines of mini golf.
All right.
His heart rate's steady.
You can make the incision whenever you're ready.
Time for the pipe.
It's done.
His blood pressure's dropping.
The artery's been repaired.
The the pipe must've caused a second injury.
A ruptured artery? I don't know.
He's having p.
S and a lot of 'em! He's gonna go into v-fib.
I don't know where all this blood is coming from.
I can't find it.
Mom, if you don't do something, he's gonna die.
His blood pressure's dropping.
He's bleeding from somewhere, and it's not the vena cava.
All right, uh, J.
, tell me the path of the left inferior pulmonary vein.
Okay, the pulmonary vein is Located Anterior to the descending aorta, but posterior to the pulmonary Cliffsnotes, J.
Under and to the right of the aortic arch.
Shift it over 3 millimeters left.
Look, I may be quick, but I don't have three hands, so you're gonna have to hold the retractor.
Take it.
, take it now.
That's it.
All right.
I see it.
I see it.
It's a Suturing.
Awful lot to do around here for what they pay us, huh? You jerk.
Excuse me.
I'm sorry.
I I can't let you go in there.
Uh, maintenance is sterilizing the room for an operation.
My operation.
I have a triple bypass scheduled for this evening.
Now move out of the way.
Uh, I'm sorry.
I can't let you go in there.
Do you know who I am? Let me see your I.
His blood pressure's still diving.
Looks like a 30% blood loss.
He might go into hypovolemic shock.
, look at me.
All right.
Got it.
We did it.
That's it? Did it did it work? Yes.
His blood pressure's rising.
It worked! You did it, mom.
No, J.
We did it.
This is ridiculous.
I'm going in there.
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Well, you're not me, are you? This is the part that I replay in my head for the next three days.
Will we see each other again? Should I have played hard to get? Easy to get? Not just in your head apparently.
I have a very loud inner voice.
I had fun tonight.
Me, too.
Oh, my God.
This is the part where you kiss me.
There it is.
Oh, my God.
A kiss.
I thought you wanted to.
I'm no.
Uh, I mean, uh, yes.
Yes, I did.
I do.
You just made me realize something about my research.
I'm so sorry.
I I've gotta go to the lab.
Uh, I'm sorry.
Um, call me.
Or I'll call you.
Uh, one of us should definitely call the other one.
Incidentally, I liked that kiss very much.
Thanks, you know, for the really disgusting Sushi.
I, uh, I had a nice time.
Me, too.
Just say it already.
You're breaking up with Kristy for her.
Bret, before you say anything else, I need to tell you something.
Whoever you think I am, I'm not.
I don't like Sushi, I don't speak a word of Japanese, and as far as I'm concerned, art is just a bunch of random shapes and colors.
You lied to me.
I like you, but I don't know how to compete with Kristy, so I made some stuff up that I shouldn't have.
I'm sorry.
I don't get it.
I mean, I wanted to be with you, but now I don't even know who you are.
I'm not sure I know either right now, but maybe someday when I do figure it out I hope you will, too.
All right.
Thanks for calling, George.
What's going on? Ohh.
One of George's snitches thinks he found the carjacker's chop shop, only the cops don't buy him as a credible witness.
They're sitting on the lead.
Where are you going? Look, I might not be super, but I can still help.
I can I.
The carjackers.
I see 'em at the chop shop, I'll call it in to Cordero.
No, uh, what if they catch you snooping around? All right, they already put Litchfield in the hospital and they killed another man.
Honey, seeing you and J.
save a life yesterday, I felt something I haven't in a long time useless.
Now with or without powers, I have to help.
Hello? Hi.
You need to get down to the lab pronto.
It's Super important.
I so love when you do that.
So what's going on? Okay.
So will and I made out.
And that's what made me realize what's causing Jim's power outage.
It wasn't a traditional allergen that came into contact with him.
It was someone.
Like who? Like you.
You're saying Jim is allergic to me? When was the last time you and Jim kissed? Seriously, we're gonna talk about this now? Well, besides my own personal interest, it is scientifically relevant.
I mean, Jim and I kiss all the time.
I Oh, my God.
My new lip gloss.
I'll bet my "lord of the rings" extended version trilogy that your lip gloss contains cinoxate.
Look what happens when I dose the trilsettum with just a tiny amount of it.
And since Jim and the plant share the same d.
Structure, do you realize what we've just discovered? Jim's kryptonite.
Put the phone down! What are you doin' in here? I I'm sorry.
I must be in the wrong place.
I'll be out of your way.
You smell like a cop.
Whoa, whoa.
I'm not a cop, man.
Look, I you can check my wallet.
I no badge, no gun.
I'm just an artist.
I I paint.
I sketch.
I sculpt a little if I have time.
Uh, hey, listen Easy.
Listen, man.
I have a family.
We're cool.
Is he dead? You know I don't miss.
Damn it.
He's not answering.
Jim is out there fighting criminals without his powers.
He's gonna get himself killed.
I need to go find him.
You must've missed.
I don't see any blood.
What the hell? J.
To what do I owe this pleasure? Uh, just wanted to see how you were doing.
I heard you were doing good.
Doing well.
Doctor says I should make a full recovery, although no one actually knows how I got better.
Huh? What do you mean? Oh, it's remarkable, really.
Some specialist heard about my condition and performed the procedure without advising the hospital administration.
They believe he was trying to avoid any liability if the operation failed.
That's great.
So is there, uh Is there anything else? I mean, before the accident, you and I were dealing With an issue About me? J.
, I almost lost my life.
I can barely remember the street on which I live.
And not everything's about you, pal.
I can be so selfish sometimes.
I'm I'm really sorry.
Well, I'm glad you're doing better, Mr.
You bought me flowers? Or maybe you're just carrying flowers.
I don't I don't want to be presumptuous.
No, no.
They're for you.
I thought you might be stressing over post-date etiquette.
Couldn't live with myself if that deprived the world of a scientific breakthrough.
Oh, uh hi.
Uh, you must be will.
I'm doctor Powell.
Katie's told me everything about you.
Oh, well, I doubt everything.
Well, it's nice to be able to put a face to the name.
I look forward to getting to know you better.
So it was all you? Your kisses? Your lip gloss? I'm sorry, Jim.
I should've known.
Oh, don't be.
I'm just glad my powers aren't gone forever.
And now we know that allergens don't affect us like they used to.
You know something that still does affect me like it used to? Mm.
You do.
Uh, wait a minute.
You did get rid of that lip gloss stuff, right? Yes.
Of course.
Stay right here.
I'm gonna go lock up the house.
All right.
You've done good work.
With your new access to Dr.
Powell, you should be able to learn exactly what she's been keeping from me.
And then I can determine what to do with her.