No Ordinary Family s01e10 Episode Script

No Ordinary Sidekick

Every story has a beginning.
We were just an ordinary family, until Hold on!! Oh my God! Something extraordinary has happened.
You can jump just over a quarter mile, can lift 11,000 pounds.
I'm fast.
I can hear people's thoughts.
I've got, like, this super-brain.
Don't you see? I can finally make a difference.
All right! All right, Jim! Ooh.
Sorry again.
Will you take it easy? You might as well be wearing a t-shirt that says "me and my family went to south America and all we got were these lousy superpowers.
" J.
, you're up next.
Don't cheat.
Don't cheat.
All right.
Get another strike.
! Focus Yeah! That's my boy! Uh, I call cheating.
It's not cheating, sweetheart.
It's maximizing our potential.
Here we go, mom.
It's okay.
You can still go for the spare.
Oh! My mistake.
You got a strike.
Kudos! Wait, wait, wait, no, y-you did that, didn't you? Mmm.
Look, look, I don't want to be that guy, but technically, according to U.
Rule 5a, that is a lane violation.
Oh, what? You have proof? This is the last time I play with y'all.
I'm serious.
So sorry I'm late.
It's good to see you.
I'm so glad you could make it.
You remember my boss, Stephanie.
Of course.
Um, and this is her husband.
Jim Powell.
Katie mentioned that you're an artist.
I just moved into a new apartment.
Got a lot of blank walls, so Maybe I can come over and take a look at your work.
That's very kind.
Thank you.
Sure, uh You must be Daphne.
, right? Yeah.
Nice to meet ya.
Thanks for not telling my parents about, you know, you busting our poker game the other night.
Don't worry.
Your secret's safe with me.
Hey, George, you're up.
Code 12, silent alarm.
Robbery in progress.
Hey, Jim, will you come over here? You brought a police scanner in your bowling bag? While you were busy knocking over pins, somebody's been busy knocking over dry cleaners.
Silent alarm just went off.
Robbery in progress two blocks away.
Please, take whatever you want.
What part of "keep your hands where I can see 'em" did you not understand? Did you hit the alarm? No.
No, I swear.
Congratulations, lady.
Your last words on earth are gonna be a lie.
Aah! Hey! Oh! The cops are on their way.
Get outta here! I don't think these guys are goin' anywhere anytime soon.
Just get outta here.
Thanks, George.
What are sidekicks for? Hey, wai Hey, your fingerprint How many times I gotta remind the man about leaving be Freeze! Okay.
I know what this looks like.
So do I.
Looks like you're a hero.
That's exactly what this looks like.
You know, you don't really get to think in a situation like that.
Your instinct takes over.
You see something wrong going down Well, at least someone's getting the credit.
Oh, do I detect a hint of jealousy? No.
Well, be nice to get a "thank you" now and then, sure.
Yeah, or a basket of muffins, key to the city.
It's like with Detective Cordero I pulled him out of a burning van, and he still treats me like I'm that guy on the boardwalk who draws cartoons of tourists holding surfboards Well If it's a little positive attention you want, then why don't you turn off the TV? Hmm? Good idea.
It just doesn't make sense.
You bowled three perfect games in a row and you haven't rubbed it in my face or taped the score sheet to my door.
Who are you and what have you done with my brother? I thought having these powers was cool, 'cause I was finally good at stuff, but the problem is I'm really good at stuff.
Sounds awful.
It's not even fun playing games with my friends anymore.
Don't even get me started about trying to find things to talk about.
Something in common with them.
Sounds like the problem isn't you.
It's your friends.
What do you mean? You need a sidekick Somebody who can keep up with your super-brain.
Why don't I just run down to "genius-r-us" and pick one up? Well, why don't you ask Katie where she hangs out? When she's not dating Mr.
Tall, Dark, and Creepy.
You tried to read his mind again, didn't you? "Tried" being the operative word.
I don't get it.
I can't get in.
Maybe your powers are on the fritz like what happened to dad.
Or maybe something's up with him.
You can't expect her to open up to me overnight.
I can expect whatever the hell I want.
It's a question of what you're able to deliver.
Look, Dr.
Powell trusts Katie, and as soon as Katie trusts me, I'll be able to find out everything you want to know about their research.
Just know this I didn't get to where I am by being patient.
I'll have to call you back.
Chiles, if memory serves, when you were relieved of your duties here at global tech, you were also relieved of your access card, which could make your being here A bit of a problem, legally speaking.
I found this solution you've been working on Trace trilsettum coronis with a phenethylamine cocktail.
Funny it doesn't seem to correlate with any of the experimentation that's been approved by the board.
Francis, you're delusional.
While I appreciate your diagnosis, I think I'll seek out a second opinion Say, from, uh, the D.
or the F.
or any number of government agencies that might be interested in finding out what you've been up to here.
You mean what we've been up to.
After all, it's you that was working on the team studying that plant.
And it's you who cosigned on Millions of dollars' worth of testing requests.
You son of a bitch.
So I would suggest that we get past the threats and the calling of names and move on to the part where you walk away, never to be heard from again.
Excuse me.
Hey, Detective.
Heard about your accident.
How you feelin'? Oh.
I don't know where I'd be if that guy hadn't pulled me out of the van.
Sounds like a real hero.
He saved my life.
I don't even know who he is.
But you know what? I'm gonna do everything I can to find out.
Thank you.
Please Hey, man, I'm sorry it took so long for me to get here, but my phone has been blowing up with interview requests.
Well, you might want to ease up on the press tour, George.
Why? I know the cops think this is open-and-shut, but There might be more to this case than we first thought.
Been poking around.
Turns out these guys that knocked over the cleaners Mm-hmm? Were all career crime with a history of bank robberies.
Well, then, I did a good thing, 'cause their careers are over Kaput.
You mean, we did a good thing.
O-of course, we.
Look, Jim, I know this seems weird me gettin' credit for your save but I'm only going along with this to protect you.
Okay? Okay.
'Cause the minute that your secret identity loses its secret You are in for a whole mess of trouble.
This is what you asked for, Detective.
I pulled this footage from a traffic camera near your van accident.
It's pretty blurry, but, uh, we can run it through an image enhancer.
We should get you close enough to, uh, make a positive I.
on the man who saved you.
Run it.
For the last time, the Larsen bay ice shelf shattered and separated from the continent due to increased warming o E-excuse me.
Kid? Are you sure you're in the right place? Is this 40.
875 latitude at longitude -124.
158 Smart people's club? I guess you're in the right place.
When was the last time the Antarctic Peninsula increased, by degrees, .
5 Celsius? I'll tell you when never.
Queen to E-5.
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
You mind? Queen captures rook C-5 Checkmate.
If you want to play so badly, why don't you take next game? I mean, if you think you can beat me.
I'm Natalie.
What's your name? J.
Okay, uh, J.
, do you start with your knights and bishops or do you dwell on a pawn opening? I Cheese puff? Katie.
I've never seen anyone so happy developing taxonomies before.
Unless, of course, it's not the taxonomies you're happy about.
I'm never sure where the line is of too much information for you.
This is about Will? Yes! I have not felt this way about a guy since Comic-Con '06, when I fell for the cutest metrosexual wookiee.
There's the line.
I really like him.
He makes me feel like the highest point in the electromagnetic spectrum.
Good morning, ladies.
Good morning.
Oh, my God, Dr.
What happened to your cheek? Uh, yes.
My face was met with an ex-employee holding a most passionate grudge.
Are you talking about Dr.
Chiles? That would be the one.
I mean, I knew he was high-strung, but I never suspected he was capable of violence.
Since his termination, Dr.
Chiles has become Unglued.
So, please, uh, take extra precautions.
If you see Dr.
Chiles, notify security immediately.
All right.
Hello there.
If you're picking up, I'm gonna need a ticket.
Uh, no, ma'am.
I'm here with, uh, the Pacific bay police department, and I'm here to follow up on your robbery.
I was so lucky.
We wouldn't even be having this conversation if this man hadn't saved me.
Cloud is a hero.
It's a very flattering photo, don't you think? Yes.
I've got some questions for you.
According to your statement, um, the men came in here with handguns and left with only the cash in the register.
That and some dry cleaning.
They stole someone's dry cleaning? Oh, yeah.
I just realized it this morning.
His name is, um "Paul Parillo.
" But I told that to the detectives already About how the four men held me "Four men"? Arrest report says they booked three.
Oh, well, I only know what happened.
But I do have one question for you.
Um, do you happen to know f Mr.
Cloud is single? I am single.
Just take one really special lady to change all that.
What's goin' on around here? "Good morning, Pacific Bay" wanted to do my segment down here in the precinct, you know, for the ambiance.
It's kinda like a Hero-of-the-week kinda thing.
No, no, I get it.
I'm glad you're here.
I wanna talk to you.
Something is not adding up about this case.
Just give me one second.
I spoke to the woman who owns the cleaner's, and get this She says there was a fourth gunman that night.
Well, the lady's confused, because I only took down Sorry, you only took down three guys.
Well, what if he got away before we got there? Jim, listen to me.
You ever read that issue of "Superman" where Superman's chasing around those jaywalkers? No.
Neither have I, because superheroes have better things to do.
Look, I tracked down the address of the guy whose dry cleaning was stolen.
Just do me a favor Talk to him.
Do your lawyer thing.
See if he's hiding something.
I need my hero.
Have to wait.
Guy needs his hero.
Am I interrupting? Oh, Daph.
Uh, no, your mom just had to run out for a second.
I actually wanted to talk to you.
To me? Okay.
Well, how may I help you? Besides encouraging you to avoid stripes.
Oh, no.
She just read my mind, right? Uh If you are in here, those jeans are super cute.
Super cute.
Um I actually wanted to talk about boys.
Um I've had a hard time figuring them out lately right.
And Will He seems so great I know.
That I wanted some advice on where I can find somebody like that.
Do you know the odds of meeting a single, down-to-earth, heterosexual male with impeccable fingernails? I mean, it's technically rhetorical.
But I could formulate an answer using the appropriate research.
Uh, I'm just curious where you met him.
Through friends.
Internet friends.
An online dating site.
Must send a "thank you" note to radidate.
Anything else? Radidate.
com That's where she met Will.
But that's impossible.
I created that online dating profile.
The guy doesn't exist without me.
Well, unfortunately, he does.
Katie is dating a real, live man.
How do you explain that, Mr.
Geppetto? I don't know.
Why can't you just read Will's thoughts and find out what's up with him? I tried that, remember? Right.
Maybe both our powers are on the Fritz.
What do you mean, both our powers? I needed mine today, and they didn't work.
Soon as I started talking to this girl She was super cool.
Super hot like a 14-year-old Katie.
I wanted to kiss her so bad Ugh! J.
, gross! Would you stop? My mind is a private area! Wait.
What if your powers won't work with pretty girls? Wanting to kiss her turns her into your kryptonite.
You think that's what it is? My brain gets too distracted? I don't know if it's your brain, but In the meantime, ask yourself the following question How am I supposed to explain to mom that Katie is dating your fictional creation? Dr.
You shouldn't be here, Francis, not after you attacked Dr.
What are you talking about? I saw what you did to his face.
Aah! His face? I never touched him.
You have to believe me.
They're gaslighting me.
I understand why you might feel that way.
You think I'm crazy.
But you don't have to take my word for any of this.
Okay? The answers are all in here.
Test it.
Test it, then you'll know the truth.
Open your eyes, Dr.
Everything is not as it seems.
This evidence will cause you to question everything you know to be true.
You may try to convince yourself it's not happening, but it won't matter, because the facts will speak for themselves.
You wanted to see me? Hell, yeah, I did.
About? What you've been doing.
The secret.
Secret? Cut the crap, Powell.
I got the whole thing on videotape.
It was you.
You saved my life.
What? Last week the collision you pulled me out of that van.
At first I couldn't figure out why you didn't say something.
You know, I mean, why keep quiet about it? And then I realized it's been under my nose this whole time You wanna be anonymous.
You're not some glory hound like your friend St.
Cloud, man.
You are a real hero.
Look, you know, I know I bust your hump a little, but the truth is that you are more cop than half the guys in this precinct.
And whatever you need, I'm here for you.
Well, to tell you the truth, I could use the rest of the day off Do some personal business.
Consider it done.
Okay, George, I guess you're busy.
Just on my way to talk to that guy with the missing dry cleaning, but, uh, I could use a little navigation help here.
George Huh, you know what? I have Gg.
right here on my phone, so who needs You George? Mnh! Turn right and proceed 62 meters.
Meters That's like yards, right? You have arrived at your destination.
Aah! Mr.
Parillo? Yeah? I'm, uh, with your insurance company.
W My insurance company? And I have a few questions to ask about your recent theft.
Any idea why anyone would steal your dry cleaning? No.
I mean, who'd want old work uniforms, anyway? Work uniforms? Wh-what is it that you do, Mr.
Parillo? I work for the transit authority train conductor.
I ow you're concerned, but you don't need to be.
Will may be a little shy, but he seems lovely.
But what do you really know about him, mom? Did you know that Katie met him online? So? So I don't think he is who he says he is.
Sweetie, everyone exaggerates online.
I believe it's part of the implied social contract of Internet dating.
That's not what I meant.
Will didn't exaggerate his profile.
It isn't real.
I guess you could say that J.
kind of Created him.
Or created his profile, to be precise.
So J.
faked Will's profile? I don't get it.
I know, it doesn't make a lot of sense.
But if Will is pretending to be someone else, we have to ask ourselves why What are his motives? Does it have something to do with our powers? This is unbelievable.
I know.
No, it's unbelievable because I don't believe it.
You know, just because your world is crazy, it doesn't mean that everybody else's is.
Sometimes things They just are what they are.
And this case is one of them.
But what if it's? What if the dry-cleaning heist was just a warm-up for the main event? What, like like knocking off a laundromat? No! Maybe they stole the uniforms so they could rob a train or something.
What if they have a choo-choo fetish? Ugh.
Look, what are these guys gonna do? They're already in jail.
One of 'em got away.
All the guy has to do is re-crew.
Seriously, for a moment, let's consider the possibility That you have your own motives, that maybe you don't want me to be with Will because if I had a personal life, then I wouldn't be available to you 24/7.
Oh, that's ridiculous! Testing your powers and tutoring J.
and checking on your kids when you're out celebrating your anniversary.
I thought you liked helping me.
Well, I do, mostly, but At times like this, I just need to say That I don't have time for this right now.
I've gotta be dressed and downtown in 45 minutes.
For what? Award ceremony.
City council's giving me a-a plaque or somethin'.
So Instead of stopping one crime, you wanna get an award for not stopping another one.
That's good work, hero.
Oh, you know? How about this theory I think the reason you keep spinning this dry-cleaning thing is because you're jealous.
What? I think you're pissed because someone around here is finally getting a little credit, and that someone is not you! That's not true, George.
Up until the other day I thought we were a team.
Of course you do Team Stephanie! But even though there's no "I" in team, there's a big "I" in Stephanie.
And there's a "p-h," which we both know in chemistry, is a measure of acidity.
Wait what? So I just wish for once that you would consider Where you'd be without me.
You think getting powers turned you into a superhero? No! Having someone believe in you did that.
Without me, you'd be a really strong guy with an impressive list of party tricks.
If that's the way you really feel, then why have you been doing all this? Kind of asking myself the same question.
What's that supposed to mean? It means that maybe it's time we took a break.
Find yourself another sidekick.
That's the way you feel? I do.
Well well fine.
Fine! Fine.
, hey.
What are you working on? My statistics homework from the Saturday class I'm taking at the university.
A little stuck on this problem.
Well, you found the right guy.
Why don't I take a look? Let's see.
So, what do you think? I think that I've kind of got a girl problem.
You've got a girl? No, but I met one at my genius club.
And the thing is, when I try to use my powers to impress her, my brain just doesn't work.
You feel like you can't perform.
Uh, brainwise, I mean.
She's so pretty.
And every time I look at her, it feels like the blood rushes out of my head and into my Got it.
Uh so what do I do? Um Sometimes, it helps to trick your brain, uh, by thinking of something other than how she makes you feel.
Like, uh thinking of baseball stats.
Uh, some guys think of, like, batting averages, R.
s, that kind of thing.
Maybe I should do that, too download my brain with baseball stats.
Thanks, dad.
You look like you had my day.
It's Katie.
We kind of had our first fight.
Me and George, too.
He kind of quit.
What? Really? Look, maybe it's for the best.
There's no rule that says sidekicks have to last forever, right? I mean, Batman could have traded in Robin for some other guy.
Yeah, even if you wanted to trade in George, who could you replace him with? Jim! What can I do for you, buddy? Hey, come here.
Have a seat.
Hey, how was your day off? Everything go all right? They're fresh.
No, uh, I just used the time that you gave me yesterday to help my son with his homework.
Oh, man, look at that a hero and a family man.
I-I was just helping him with his research project on the local transit system, and, um, he asked me if any of the trains had ever been robbed before, and I said if anyone would know that, it would be you.
Well, yeah.
I mean, a few years back, some guys hit the Pacific bay transit authority's money train.
Money train? What's a It's like an armored car, but, you know, a train, and it transports the city's cash intake to central deposit downtown.
Well, how did the robbers gain access? They dressed like conductors.
They smuggled their weapons into transit authority duffels, and nobody even gave them a second look.
Disguised as conductors, huh? Fascinating.
Well, my son's report's gonna be chock-full of information.
Hey, thanks, Detective.
Uh! Frank.
Ha! All right, this is serum test one.
Subject rattus tanezumi.
Subject has received an injection of .
3 CCs of the serum provided by Dr.
Chiles With no discernible effects.
Chiles? It's Stephanie Powell.
I just injected a rat No, no, no, no.
Not on the phone.
Uh, what? This isn't a secure line.
Come to my apartment.
Aren't you being a little paranoid? It's not paranoia when the danger is real.
And, Dr.
Powell Don't tell anyone you're coming.
You look upset.
Powell and I had a little spat.
She planted some doubts in my mind.
It's stupid.
Well, if it was stupid, it wouldn't be bothering you, right? Come on.
You can tell me.
So Dr.
Powell This is the stupid part She doesn't think that you are who you say you are.
I mean, if she wanted me to dump you, she could at least come up with something believable, like you're married.
I'm not married.
Or a commitment-phobe? No, not that, either.
Or a wiccan? Oh, not that there's anything wrong with being a wiccan.
I wasn't I just No, no, no, no.
It's just it's none of those.
But here is the, uh, the other thing.
She's right.
Look, you remember the night that we met? I was standing at the bar, and I saw you sitting alone.
And every time that somebody arrived, you'd look up hopefully.
It's just, I wanted you to look at me that way.
And so I just walked over to you.
And then I just assumed you were my online date.
Look, I'm I'm sorry.
I mean, it's been killing me not telling you this.
So don't be mad at Dr.
I mean, she was just looking out for you.
So I guess your name isn't really Will.
No, it's Joshua.
Joshua? Well, it's nice to meet you, Joshua.
It's my boss.
This is Joshua.
I'll be right there.
I guess I'm sorry again.
Yeah, just wanted to let you know, everything's under control.
Turns out Detective Cordero was extremely helpful on the potential train heist, so you just go and enjoy your awards ceremony.
Uh, Frank and I have this one under control.
Turkey club? Someone call security! This guy's trying to steal our lunch! That was rather quick, Dr.
Almost faster than humanly possible.
Can I give you some advice, doctor? This is happening.
The best thing that you can do is let it.
What are those? Those are the pills you've chosen to end your life with.
Best two out of three.
Okay, no offense, J.
, you seem like a really nice guy.
But just not a smart one.
Then there's not much danger of me beating you, I guess.
You know, J.
, there's nothing wrong with being an average guy.
Batting average.
Earned run average.
You figured I'd use the Sicilian defense.
Most kids do.
Yeah, well I'm not most kids.
Sorry, I didn't No, it's fine.
Just Unexpected.
Chiles? Francis? Francis? Oh, my God.
Well, it's nothing.
It's it's called a duty.
Pacific Bay Police responded today after an unknown assailant attacked three train conductors on their way to work.
The victims could provide Jim.
No motive for the attack which created massive delays when police closed down central station That is not cool, man.
To conduct a manhunt for the assailant.
I can't believe how badly I screwed up.
I My instincts have never been this wrong before.
All right, well, you you know what? Maybe the problem wasn't your instincts.
It was your intel.
What do you mean? And Cordero Well, he ain't no George St.
Cloud, if you know what I'm saying.
Now, a grade-a sidekick would know that on the first Tuesday of every month, the money train makes its run from union station, not central station, which also happens to be when they make their deposit into the federal bank downtown.
But today's the first Tuesday of the month.
You don't say.
What are you waitin' for? Go.
I'll be in your ear the whole way.
Hey, but wait, wait.
A-aren't you supposed to be getting some sort of award or something? What, the key to the city? Now what would I do with some key that don't open nothin'? Will you go? Like, hop.
Like, go right now.
Hop! All right, George.
I see the train, but it's already left the station.
Well, then, stop it.
It's a train, George.
You can stop cars.
You can stop bullets.
Okay, let me put it this way It's a train, George! Will you trust your sidekick? Think of it as a really big car on tracks, okay? You can do this.
Okay, I'm here, standing in front of a train that's going 50 miles an hour! Look, Jim, I can't stop the train myself.
All I can do is trust that you can.
Here it comes! I love you, man.
What? Don't say "I love you"! People only say that just before someone Whoa! Jim.
Yo, Jim.
Aah! Holy Hey! Ah.
So it's like that, huh? Boom! Yeah! Hi, Daphne.
Is your mother home? No, she, uh Something came up at work.
Ah, well, that's all right.
I came by to talk with her, but I think you'll do just fine.
This is all my fault.
What? I discovered that Dr.
Chiles was continuing Dr.
Volson's genome research.
Stephanie, he was doing human trials.
I tried to put a stop to it, but His life was his work.
If there is a-a silver lining, I found Chiles' last set of research notes.
Look at this.
It seems like his work was right on the verge of bearing fruit.
His research may have been leading to a cure for any number of degenerative illnesses and genetic defects.
Are you planning on continuing with his research? Ethically, within appropriate scientific boundaries, yes.
But I was hoping I wouldn't be doing it alone.
Well, I guess you pretending to be somebody else is Kind of romantic.
Well, I'm glad you can see my side of it.
And I appreciate you being protective of Katie.
Now you know I am, too.
Of course.
Well, thanks so much for stopping by.
I I guess I really misread you.
Thank you for hearing me out.
Um, have a good night.
Who are you calling, Daphne? Aah! Stay away from me! Stay away from me! You've been trying to read my mind for days, haven't you? Did you finally find a way to get past my defenses? I don't know who you are, and I don't know what you want, but get out of my house! It's okay.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
If I were going to, I would have done it already.
Aah! Aah! You're not alone, Daphne.
Aah! There are others out there but you and your family You're the only ones whose powers seem to be permanent.
And I'm just trying to figure out why So I can be like you.
I don't know.
I don't know anything! Then who does? Does your mother? Dr.
King is very interested in her.
If you only knew how truly interesting she is Please how interesting you all are.
I won't tell anybody what I saw! Please! Shh.
Oh, I know you won't.
Please! I gotta admit, Mr.
Powell, you do good work.
I gotta admit, I wouldn't have done it without you, George.
Couldn't have.
What are sidekicks for? You're not my sidekick.
You're my partner.
You got the look of a man who's about to hug another man.
Is that what's going on here? Let's do it.
They can keep that key to the city.
This is what it's all about.
Hey, what time's your ceremony? You could still make it.
Not in rush hour traffic, I can't.
Who said anything about traffic? Come on.
Hop on.
Just like that? Come on, come on.
Whoa! Wait, wait, wait.
Should I wear a helmet or something? Just hold on.
And I'm humbled.
I don't even deserve this award Not when there's so many real heroes out there living and serving every day.
I'm talking about teachers, community leaders, police sketch artists Doctors, scientists Um Dr.
Powell Me, too.
Everyday people working to solve everyday problems and not-so-everyday problems.
So look at the people around you.
Look at the families you know.
We're all heroes.
Maybe even superheroes In our own way Even if it's a secret we choose to keep only to ourselves.
Wait a minute.
E-explain this to me again.
The super-villains we've been encountering were actual test subjects from Chiles' bastardized experiments.
Now that he's gone, it's likely we'll be seeing less of them.
When was the last time things went the way we expected? Hey, Daph.
What's going on? Ugh.
Please don't make me go right now.
I have a lot happening with school and with Lucas.
Daphne, what are you talking about? Go where? To Brazil.
For mom's work trip.
Honey, that was three months ago.
I wish.
Why are you guys looking at me like that? Well, because You don't seem to remember anything that's happened to us over the last three months.