Nurse Jackie s04e01 Episode Script

Kettle-Kettle-Black-Black

Previously on Nurse Jackie I started leaning on painkillers.
There is nothing to be worried about.
For the pain.
Percocet? Yes, please.
Already worried.
Don't be.
Did she give you a whole song and dance about her back? You can't believe a word she says.
I don't know whose MRI you saw, but it wasn't hers.
I'm here to see Jackie Peyton.
And you are? Her husband.
Jackie's not married.
I don't keep secrets, Jackie.
Kevin, neither do I.
I never would have gotten involved if I knew you were married.
This lies on top of lies crap Maybe you can live like that, I can't.
Hi, guys.
Mom! We've been exploring the possibility of medication.
Really, Grace? One's on meds, the other one's starting fires.
Whatever we're doing is messing them up.
HR has issued mandatory urine tests.
Hope you're happy.
I'm not.
Fuck 'em.
I can't look at her lately.
There's all this unspoken shit hanging there.
You gotta know what I'm talking about.
We got a problem.
Kevin knows.
He doesn't know anything.
Kevin's in admitting.
With the girls.
All right, I'm here.
Just say what you fucking gotta say.
I had an affair.
Pack your bags.
No phone, no caffeine, no makeup.
Okay.
Unzip it, please.
If you want to go through my bag, be my guest.
I'm not your guest.
Please open the bag.
Empty it out, please.
Did anybody help you pack? No.
And it was in your possession the whole time? What am I, getting on a plane? Yes, I packed my own bag.
It's been in my possession the whole time.
Let's make this really clear.
You're accountable now for every item in this bag, every word out of your mouth, every move you make.
That's my toothpaste.
Guess how many nurses crush up their oxy and reseal their toothpaste.
Don't test me.
There's toothpaste in the bathroom.
I'm here to get better, not worse.
We'll see.
From what I've seen so far, detox is gonna be a bitch.
Welcome to rehab.
Quantum Bay.
Here you go.
I can't believe they bought All Saints.
This is what they own.
Hotels, firearms, railways, tobacco and baby food.
They sound busy.
Maybe they'll leave us alone.
Hilarious.
I didn't get lunch.
No one did.
Key change.
Has anyone else noticed that O'Hara's looking a little puffy? Kettle, kettle, black, black.
Sorry.
I thought you were gone for the day.
Nope.
Leaving now.
Hey, Jackie.
I got something for you.
Can't it wait till tomorrow? No, it'll just take a sec.
Come on.
So, I was walking by a church, and this is just sitting there on a step.
Pretty fucking perfect, huh? No blindsides, Eddie, okay? Not today.
I really can't handle it.
I've waited a respectable amount of time, Jackie.
And I've laid low and I can stay low as long as you want me to.
Don't do this, please.
Don't do this.
Well, I'm doing it.
Now we can take it nice and slow.
I can take you out on a date.
Maybe a little moonlight.
What? It's not a thrill if we're not sneaking around? It only works if I'm forbidden fruit? Forbidden fruit? Really? Slater's AWOL.
I need you for another hour.
I'm off the clock.
Well, get back on.
Oxy sat.
Any word from the ICU? I don't know.
I'm not Oxygen levels, what are they? By the way, crying on the floor, not cool.
I'm not a nurse.
I'm his girlfriend.
I'm a dog groomer.
I came right from work.
I'm so sorry.
I thought you were a temp nurse.
I told him it didn't matter.
We should come to the ER.
Someone should look at it 'cause we'll just fuck it up.
Well, you're here now.
We're gonna take very good care of him.
Yeah, but that English lady said his organs might shut down.
We're gonna have plenty of warning signs if that's gonna happen.
We're on it.
Don't you worry.
I will be right back.
Not great timing, fully aware, but I love your scrubs.
Watch yourself.
Watch your own fucking self.
Is that really necessary? To get your doctor head out of your doctor ass, yeah, I guess it is.
My hands are full, yours aren't.
He can't die.
I know, honey.
Here, put something in your stomach.
You're not gonna want to eat in the ICU, believe me.
Good night and good luck.
Here's the thing.
Fuck, you scared me.
Yeah, I kind of doubt that.
Fuck, here goes nothing.
Jackie Peyton, were you sleeping with me for my drugs? You know, I'm not even gonna dignify that.
Dignify it.
Did the drugs figure in? I don't know.
Probably.
I guess.
I don't know.
You don't know? Did you love me? Do you know that? Answer me.
Was I gonna run away and start a life with you? No, I was not.
You want to do yourself in, go right ahead.
Leave the rest of us alone.
Fucking seriously.
God help you, Jackie.
That fish is going to be so fat.
I just wish they'd get over themselves.
Her more than him.
It's his house.
He bought it.
Bailey Dickler's dad lives in the same building Dad does.
Bailey Dickler's dad wanted to move out, our dad didn't.
I still like the pool.
Dad! You ready? What do you need, Fi? If you move back in, can we still go to the pool? If I move back in, I will dig you a pool with my own bare hands.
Let's go, guys.
Buy you a drink? I got two.
No one really talks to each other anymore, though.
Kids or wives? Both.
Either.
I don't know.
How many kids you got? It's just me.
You're full of shit.
That I am.
You're pretty.
I'm pretty fucked up.
You know that expression "sheer bliss"? No, not really.
Well, steer clear, 'cause they put the sheer in front of the bliss because they know that the bliss eventually is gonna evaporate.
I got high this one time, and it was about six years ago, and this bliss, it came at me, like, in waves.
You know? And it felt like a fucking regiment.
You know? I've been chasing it like a ghost ever since.
And no matter how hard I try or how far I reach, I just can't get it.
It's like, what's the fucking point, you know? You want to go again? Yes.
Good.
Are you okay? Are you okay? Whoa.
All right, come here.
Lay down.
Easy, easy, easy, easy.
Okay, don't fight me.
Easy, easy.
Oh, God.
Shhh.
Oh, my God.
Fuck.
Really? No.
No, I'm all right.
How fast can you get over here? No, wait.
You're gonna want to judge me.
Just don't judge me.
Just don't.
Okay, this begs a judgment.
Can we get him in your town car? Are you out of your mind? Isn't that a stupid question? No, we cannot get him in my town car.
Well, he can't stay here.
On that we agree.
Lenny.
I can call Lenny.
Lenny's got his own rig.
He lives in Queens.
I can call I'm gonna call Lenny.
Do me a favor.
Plug your ears.
You're gonna hate this.
I hate everything about this.
Hello? Lenny, hi.
It's Jackie.
I'm sorry I'm sorry to wake you up.
I need your help.
I'm looking out my window here and I'm seeing this guy staggering around.
I think he's having a heart There he goes.
He just fell down again.
He's having a heart attack or something, I don't know.
I can't really tell.
I'm gonna go out there.
Where are you? I'll be right there.
Okay, yeah.
Keep the sirens off, okay? There's kids sleeping around here.
Okay.
You want to go on a ride-along? Mm-hmm.
Yep.
And the Oscar goes to dot, dot, dot.
You can't sit.
He's gonna be here in two minutes.
You've got to help me clean up.
Nope.
No? I'll declare the body dead, I'll sign what I need to sign and be gone.
Gone from this house, gone from your life.
I am done cleaning up after you.
And I'm not judging.
If anything, I hold myself entirely responsible.
Well, don't.
Okay? I killed my marriage.
I fucked up my kids.
I'm the reason that Eddie has a fucking gun to his head.
I'm the one with the pee test in a computer ready to jump out like a fucking jack-in-the-box.
I did it! So what do I do? I go to a church, I pick up a stranger, and I nearly fuck him to death.
He's not nearly dead.
He's dead! I nearly fucked him, not he's nearly dead.
Well, that's completely different.
Look, there's nothing left to wreck, but I can't stop wrecking.
I can't stop.
And I want to and I don't.
And I can't Somebody just needs to fucking lock me up.
God, I think I need to go to rehab.
Oh.
You have guests.
I have guests.
We're here.
Hi! Okay, not a bridal shower.
Whoa.
You haul him in here yourself? Oh, my God! And hi! I mean, hi.
Very sad.
Yeah.
How did he Is he a cardiac arrest or an overdose? Cardiac arrest.
Cardiac arrest.
Feels kind of druggy, though, right? You are not wrong.
You are an awesome neighbor.
And you are an awesome doctor.
Out here in the middle of the night, that shit's professional.
Voices down.
Girls are sleeping.
Way to live the job, ladies.
We need to get you out of here.
Let's do this.
I'll get the feet.
I'll get the head.
Yes, Wednesday's fantastic.
I will change my mind by Wednesday.
Okay, cancel that.
We need to do this today.
No, I will not hold.
God.
I'm on hold.
It's 28 Days.
They specialize in pills.
Me, too.
Yes, I'm still here.
Good.
That's more like it.
Bye.
You'll be joining them on the lido deck at 4:00 pm.
I suggest you get your ducks in a row.
I got to talk to Akalitus.
Shit.
The sun's coming up.
It always does.
I don't know what planet you're living on.
Hey.
Look who's awake.
How are you guys doing? I feel way better than I did, that's for sure.
You were nearly dead, Dustin.
Wow, look at that.
White blood cells going up.
You guys packing for the ICU? Um Dustin wants to go home.
Uh, sweetie, no.
How am I gonna pay for this? He wants to dine and dash.
Don't tell her that.
Look, if I could sneak you out the back door with a couple of pills, believe me, I would do it.
But I'm starting to feel better.
That's because you spent the night on supplemental oxygen and IV fluids.
You're gonna need 72 hours of bed rest and intravenous antibiotics.
This is not something you can do on your couch.
Will you do me a favor and let me see if I can hurry up the ICU? Yeah, fine.
Do it.
Even if you get a bed, he'll still leave.
He doesn't believe he'll die.
Just keep him in here until I get back.
How? Sit on him.
He's too weak to push you off.
Just do it.
May I have your attention, please? Hey, everybody.
Listen, I know you're all busy, so just keep doing what you're doing, and while you do, I'll go ahead and introduce myself.
My name is Mike Cruz.
Some of you might have seen me in the hallway.
I am a physician and I work for Quantum Bay, but I also work for you.
Seriously, it's okay.
Keep working.
Here's the deal.
We're taking All Saints into the future.
But the present is so handsome.
Thanks.
Keep breathing, Thor.
As I was saying, I have seen beleaguered hospitals metamorphose into profitable, dynamic medical centers time and time again.
And it always begins right here in trauma, the linchpin of the hospital.
You ought to be really proud.
We do great works.
We do charitable works, but we are not a charity.
Thanks for listening.
You left the floor while he was still talking.
Unacceptable.
He said to keep working.
That's what I did.
Zoey, bed two.
Dustin and Cori, this is Zoey.
Zoey, I need you to show Cori how to start a line and administer meds.
We're sending him home with 72 hours of intravenous antibiotics.
I need you to get them cab fare and get them out of here.
Cori, give your number to Zoey so she can check in, which she will, every three hours around the clock.
She doesn't have to call at night.
Yes, I do.
Dustin, don't be an idiot.
Something happens at 4:00 in the morning, she's your girl.
Zoey Barkow, most reliable nurse I know.
Rely on her.
Oh, no, you don't.
I thought I had till 4:00.
Well, they can take you now.
You seem eager to get rid of me.
I am.
Okay, so I'm sorry if I made a bad impression on Mike Cruz during his Jerry Maguire moment or whatever the hell that was.
That was not my intention.
Well, what was your intention? To leave early.
No.
Gloria, I need to leave, and I need to cash in my vacation days.
Yeah, yeah, I do.
And I'm not talking about a week.
I'm talking about Where are you going? Disneyland.
When are they expecting you? Today.
Now.
This is not good timing.
I know.
I'm sorry.
It's a small window.
If I don't get in, they're gonna give my bed to somebody else.
Well, yes, that is how Disneyland works.
Go.
Don't be late.
Jackie.
Do what they say.
I will.
Thanks.
Car's out front.
What am I gonna tell my kids? Maternity.
Radiology.
Oncology.
Respectable earners.
Who's the short one? Jackie Peyton.
Nurse Jackie.
Tall one's O'Hara.
We used to be in a locked-horn pitch battle like two-rams-on-the-side - of-a-cliff thing.
She wanted to be chief.
You want an introduction? I got it.
Hey, you gonna pay for those meds you stole during my intro? Dock my pay.
Pull up your trousers.
That's Jackie.
Brrr.
And I have to go.
I'm sorry.
It's a work thing.
We have new owners.
It's just a month.
It's four little weeks.
Dad got us a Wii.
Well, have a good month.
You want to say hi to Dr.
O'Hara? Say hi.
You okay? You look a little I'm fine.
It's a training thing.
All the nurses have to go.
We have to get recertified.
All right, I've got to go, Kev.
Yeah.
Grace, Fi.
Let's go back up.
Dr.
Cruz, welcome.
There's a razor-thin line between life and death, profit and loss.
I know you know all this.
I pulled your file.
You're smart.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
And at the risk of embarrassing myself by stating the obvious to someone who's been doing this as long and as well as you have, the mortal enemy of efficiency is redundancy.
Well, it's not that obvious.
No need to be modest.
It's an impressive career.
I mean, two years away from your pension.
Wait, I'm not here to take money from pensions or to swap out old-timers for college kids.
College kids don't have the value.
I came here right from college.
I like to think I had value.
You did.
And you do.
But the fact of the matter is I'm here now.
So this job, your job, is redundant.
I don't think it is.
Well, we'll agree to disagree.
I am here now.
And that means we have a couple of options.
Now, you can go back on the floor, work as a nurse, work for two years, the pension stays intact.
And the other option? Cash out at half.
Am I still their boss? Is that important to you? I wouldn't have asked.
Then it's important to me.
It's cold season, Dr.
Cruz.
What's up, man? We got to talk.
Are you drunk? It's not a good time.
The girls are here.
I know the girls are here.
That's why I'm here.
'Cause you're gonna lose your shit and you can't kill me if they're here.
You don't got an ax in here, do you? Go home, Eddie.
Kev, you got to take yourself off the hook about fucking that girl.
'Cause I know for a fact Jackie was fucking some retarded sad sack for years.
We're talking years, Kevin.
Like four.
And it was me.
She was fucking me.
Take it easy, man! Easy! That's it.
That's all you get.
Hey, guys.
You want to live with Dad? I am paying you back.
Nonsense.
It's not nonsense.
Things are gonna be different when I get out.
Yeah, well, they've got to be.
I can't go pulling you out of fires anymore.
I'm 16 weeks.
You're pregnant? Really? Why didn't you tell me? Well, let's review, shall we? How many times have you lied to my face, tricked me into writing checks and prescriptions while all the time snorting God knows what and trying to make me believe I was actually making a difference in your life? For safekeeping.

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