Nurse Jackie s04e05 Episode Script

One-Armed Jacks

Previously on Nurse Jackie What do you want? I lied.
I went to rehab.
I did good.
Let's just move on.
Kids, they break your heart with a text message.
Efficient.
Things still really rough with your dad? I haven't really seen him.
Staying on his boat, though.
Got you a sandwich.
Thanks.
What do these do? They're painkillers.
They kill pain.
How many did she take? She took a lot.
Hey, guys.
Time to wake up.
Guys, come on.
Up and at 'em.
I made fucking cartoon pancakes.
Clearly.
And you did this why? I didn't remember the girls were at Kevin's until I walked into their room.
Come on, please don't make me waste these.
Here, wait, look.
This guy's a snake.
So, too, were these.
God, what is wrong with me? Making breakfast for kids who aren't even home.
I mean, you would think I'm on something.
I'm not on anything.
Why are you living in a closet? Builders will be out in a month, and then I won't have to hole up here anymore.
God, I'll miss you.
You and your shoes will be reunited very soon.
You will live.
I'll live.
I won't live well.
You always live well.
Pancake, please.
So, I was thinking of doing something, but I wanted to run it by you first 'cause I didn't want it to be a secret.
Don't be mad, but I'm I think I'm gonna call Kevin.
Disaster.
I just want to let bygones be bygones.
Disaster.
We can just have lunch.
No, disaster, disaster.
His eye is a chocolate chip.
Come on, I can You're five minutes clean.
You can't be making decisions like this.
He would take me back in five seconds if I asked him.
You know that.
I'm just saying.
I'm gonna call him.
Let's just hold our horses.
Too late.
Hi, Kevin.
Hi, I was I don't believe you're doing it.
wondering if you wanted to I do not believe you're doing it.
have lunch, okay? Do me a favor, call me back.
Bye-bye.
Insane.
Insane.
What have we here? Is this a cigarette I see before me? I have not smoked since the Carter administration.
This new job is making me seriously reconsider that decision.
Why are you dressed like that? When in Rome Not in Rome.
Oh, I'm picking up some extra shifts uptown at St.
Luke's.
Those nurses are styling.
Trying to save up some money, so I can move out of my mom's.
Somebody's gonna rip those hoops right out.
Mm-mmm.
Check it.
"Wanted, roommate.
" Gonna hang these up around the hospital today, see if I can find somebody to go splitsies with me on a phat pad.
You need a roommate, Gloria? No.
Beautiful morning, huh? So pretty, yes.
Gloria, how's the recertification coming? It's coming, Dr.
Cruz.
This Kombucha stuff tastes like a sparkling vinaigrette.
What's with the hoops? Someone's gonna tear those right out.
Ha! I know! Ha! I'm dropping a morale bomb on the troops today.
Nice.
Uniform scrubs on the nurses.
Ooh.
Dress code.
Hmm.
I'll tell you right now, that is not gonna fly.
Mm-hmm.
Got your ear to the ground, huh? Always.
Part of the reason I value you.
New scrubs come in today.
They need to go out on the floor.
Look, I know these nurses.
They are gonna be pissed.
It's not a question of personal taste.
Patients need to know who does what the minute they walk in here.
Trust me, I don't relish the role of a villain.
Hey, they know me, they trust me, they'll listen to me.
Let me break it to them.
I'd appreciate that.
You know what I've noticed about you? What? You're the most self-effacing doctor I've ever met.
You make everyone feel as if they know more than you.
Blessing and a curse.
Double-edged sword.
Sharp.
We got a jumper.
You want it? Ooh, mmm.
Blah.
Twenty-seven-year-old male.
Took a lover's leap off the 59th Street Bridge.
Police tried to talk him down.
Girlfriend is DOA.
Coming through.
Arms are here, his and hers.
They handcuffed them together.
Impact tore them off.
Sam, get those out of here.
Here, get a hold of somebody.
On my count.
One, two, three.
Ow, ow, ow.
What was that? Shit.
It's my shoulder.
I'm fine.
Let's Switch sides with me.
I'm all right.
What, are you gonna tell me to get off the floor? Absolutely not.
Does he have a name? Timothy Banks.
He's gonna need a transfusion.
Hey, Timothy.
You okay? You're at All Saints.
There you go.
You're alive in there.
That's good.
Hey, blue eyes.
Open them up.
You're okay.
We'll take care of you, okay? Very good.
Jackie.
Jumper's mother.
I've been trying for explain what happened.
I am not getting through.
Tell her it's critical.
She's got to get her ass down here.
I did.
Her name is Eileen.
Hello, Eileen Banks? Yes.
Hi, my name is Jackie.
I'm calling from All Saints Hospital.
I'm sorry, but your son Timothy has been in an accident.
Does he know where the cat food is? Did he feed the cat? Ask him if he fed the cat.
Okay, that's not good.
Should I try her again? No, we'll get somebody else.
Eddie, I am so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm just sorry about all of this.
I kept trying to figure out the right way to say that to you, and I just I'm not very good at this, you know.
You should be using heat, not cold.
I'm just trying to get numb, Eddie.
Just trying to get numb.
Like a Hydra monster.
Cut it off, it just grows back.
You drink the whole bar? Just trying to get numb, baby.
You came in with that black eye, I felt so horrible.
Yeah, well, it didn't feel so good from my end of things either.
Great.
All right.
Thank you.
All right.
Oh, my God.
Whoa, did I just hit you? No, it's all right.
You caught my eye.
Eddie, I'm so sorry.
Can I see? No, just get out of here.
It's okay.
I'm so sorry.
All right.
It's all right.
Sorry.
Mm-hmm.
Oh.
It's not you, Lenny.
It's me.
Oh, no.
Hold the phone.
That's breakup talk.
No one's breaking up.
I've asked you to move in a million times.
And I've told you a million times that I'm saving up money to move out of my mom's.
Which is why you should move in.
Zoey bird needs to spread her wings.
I thought you were a cowboy.
"Wanted, dead or alive.
" Is this what you people do all day? Discuss your personal bullshit? Those posters are absurd.
Ha! Absurd? Ha! Ooh, someone got hit.
Talk later? Zoey Barkow.
This is Mike Cruz.
Oh, hi.
Saw your posters.
Oh, wow.
Do you need a roommate? Down.
Take them down.
Take them down or take them down a notch? Come on, work with me here? Sorry.
Zoey, you're a bright and beautiful girl.
Don't put your phone number on walls.
Yes, sir.
Won't happen again.
Better not.
Or I'll have to unleash the God of Thunder on you.
You gonna bring the hammer down, Thor? I've always hated my name until this very moment.
Man, I've seen some shit before, but two severed arms with handcuffs, really? Frankly, the whole thing was just traumatic.
That's why they call it "trauma.
" Oh, look.
The bionic woman, ladies and gentlemen.
Oh, Jackie.
I'm fine.
How's that kid Timothy? Still in the OR.
Hey, Thor.
Jackie time.
Can you cover for me? I'm meeting my husband for lunch.
You needed to close the curtain to ask me that? How do I look? Oh, lunch.
Can you help me with this? On your face? No.
Do you know what this color is called? you had this lip-liner? I don't know.
Why? Did it go bad? Can you do something? What is that? Concealer.
Sometimes I break out.
You do not.
Your skin is perfect.
Exactly.
All right.
Thank you.
Jackie Peyton? Are you Jackie Peyton? I'm Yes.
Hi.
Hi.
I'm sorry.
Do I know you? I'm sorry.
Okay, why are you sorry? You've been served.
Excuse me? That's someone who wants to divorce you.
Are you fucking kidding me? Kevin is What is this? I'm sorry.
Oh, you're a nurse? What? Yes.
Is this something I should worry about? What is this? That's your finger.
Holy shit.
Thank you.
Hi, yes.
Can I get a Jameson on the rocks? Double, please.
Okay, stop, stop, stop.
Hi.
I'm sorry.
You can cancel that.
I will get another ice tea, turkey club, and pie, any kind of pie.
Bring the pie first, please.
Thank you.
Oh, pick up the phone, you little shit, please.
This is Charlie.
Leave a message if you care.
Hi, Charlie.
This is Jackie.
Listen, I am calling you, and you have to call me back.
I am in trouble, and I'm calling you because I'm supposed to do that.
And what am I doing? I'm calling a kid.
Okay, so I just get served divorce papers, I order a Jameson, and I change my mind, and now I'm calling a 17-year-old boy.
Thank you.
Thank you for the pie.
Pie.
I just ordered pie.
Call me back, please.
Maybe you shouldn't be on the floor today with your shoulder.
Let it go, Zoey.
I'm just saying.
One hand tied behind your back.
You're not a magician.
Ah, shit.
Are you Mike Cruz? What? Are you the CEO of Quantum Bay? No.
Wait, what, what? Who the fuck are you to be telling me what to do, Zoey? I'm on the floor.
I'm on the clock.
I'm doing my job.
Butt out.
You don't have to be in everybody's business every fucking minute of every fucking day.
Really? Have you met her? You know what? I'm not talking to you.
Oh, my God.
I've never felt this tired in my entire life.
Hate to break it to you, this is the easy part.
I've been a nurse 35 years.
Recertified? This is bullshit.
How many contact hours in an academic quarter credit? I'm a doctor, Gloria.
For actual information, ask Jackie.
I have a present.
Your letter of resignation, I hope.
Open your eyes.
Airplanes, too, but you might be having a girl, so I'm not having a girl, and I don't want it.
Take it back.
It's not really for you.
It's for the baby.
The baby who's a boy.
Awesome! Coop, out.
Okay, here.
Just hold it up like that.
Oh, Jackie, nurses' meeting, chapel, 10 minutes.
Go! Okay.
How was lunch? He served me with divorce papers.
A disaster, I know.
Jacks, I'm sorry.
If that fucking guy thinks he's gonna leave me eating alone with a pile of divorce papers, he's got another thing coming.
That is really adorable, though.
Itty-bitty piggy.
Behold! The new All Saints duds.
Duds are right.
Okay.
I'd like this to be an open forum.
What about different colored pants and shirts? Is it okay if I still wear my scrubs? This is optional, right? No, no, and no, not optional.
No questions are off-limits.
Let her rip.
Yes, the gentleman in the back.
Why are you such a dick? I am not a dick.
How many of you think I'm a dick? Moving on.
Zoey! Let's say you get thrown up on.
There will be extras.
You know my overtime's been cut in half.
That's not really what this meeting is about.
This is a terrible meeting.
It's a forum.
Dr.
Cooper, I've recently made the transition into scrubs.
Now I have to transition into different scrubs? Yes.
Why are you messing with us, man? And why are you the one telling us this? Is Dr.
Cruz making you do his dirty work? You're missing the point.
Tell Cruz we said no.
They come in all sizes.
Make sure you take one on your way out.
Thirty-two-year-old woman, ped struck by a bicyclist, clipped her stomach.
Texting while walking in the bike lane.
Don't you dare blame her.
Right-side abdominal pain.
She's got some spotting.
Hypertensive 88 over 50.
I'm gonna take this one.
What? I'll take it, end of story.
Sam, you're on this.
Let's do it.
Yup.
Timothy, honey.
Are you awake? Hey.
Hi, I'm Jackie.
I'm the nurse that treated you when you came in.
I tore out my shoulder with you.
I'm wondering if there's anybody you'd like us to call, anybody you'd like to have come in here to see you? Where's Jess? Jess? My girl.
She didn't make it, honey.
Everybody's gone.
Well, you're not.
You've got to take care of yourself now.
She loved that bridge.
She said, "That's the last place I want to be.
" And I said, "Me, too.
" I said, "Me, too.
" Hey, quick update.
Ultrasound looks good.
Baby's heart rate is normal.
We're gonna keep her overnight, but she's gonna be fine.
I'm not accustomed to being bullied.
Oh, sorry I hurt your feelings.
It's an emergency room.
I am a doctor, and I will do my job, and I will do it until I go into labor.
I understand.
You had no right to dismiss me simply because I'm pregnant.
That's not why I did that.
It most certainly is.
Eleanor.
Dr.
O'Hara, obstetrics is my field.
I'm better at it than you are.
I just am.
Look, I think that our patients deserve the best we have to offer.
Do you disagree? Just one powerful man's opinion.
You're on your own with this one.
Those people are animals.
Fucking coward.
Pick up the phone.
Answer the goddamn phone.
Answer the phone.
Answer Son of a bitch! He's really leaving.
Can you believe it? My husband, he's not coming home ever.
He can't even call me back? Can't tell me to my face? Really? Give me a Swedish Fish.
This is pretty impressive.
What, did you burn the edges with a lighter or something? How'd you get the sepia tone? I soaked it in tea.
A little trick I picked up in the fifth grade.
Well, it's pretty cool.
Thanks.
I'm not talking to you.
If you need a place, Zoey, I have a place.
I have a couch.
You mean live with you? Until you find a place, yeah, sure.
I will consider this kind proposal.
Yes! No! You touch me, you are homeless.
Tums.
Something.
Anything antacid-wise.
My last pack.
Well, my lucky day.
Your lucky day.
Hey, Coop.
What's the matter? I was just thinking.
Oh, Jesus, that bad, huh? You think I'd be a good dad? You get a girl pregnant? No.
God, no way.
You know how there's some guys who want to pass on their DNA? I'm like the opposite.
I mean, the kid would be good-looking, but the ticks, the freaking out over everything, it's a vicious cycle.
I wouldn't wish it on a dog.
Nope.
The line stops here.
Right here.
Well, good talk.
Hey.
You think she'll be a good mom? Who, O'Hara? Yeah.
She's having a boy.
Yeah, well, she'll be great.
I bought him a present.
He's not even born yet.
I know.
But when am I ever gonna have another baby in my life? You're not having a baby, Coop.
O'Hara's having a baby.
Yup.
And that kid's gonna like me.
Count on it.
Jackie.
Oh, there you are.
Dude, sorry about the divorce thing.
That blows.
I've been through a couple myself.
Yeah, thanks.
Did you use? 'Cause divorce, you know, that's like a freebie.
That's a green light.
Just tell me you used.
No, Charlie, I did not use.
Where are you? Oh, you know me.
Cuddled up in a dark place.
You okay? I miss my closet in rehab.
You know, on nights like this, I just like to curl up in a dark corner with a gallon of Manischewitz and some Halloween candy.
You know what I wish? What? We could have gotten wasted together, just once.
All right, this is not a good conversation.
You okay? Yeah, yeah.
You know.
So what about you? You really worried me the other day.
Look at you worrying about me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do me a favor, would you? Would you keep on worrying? It makes me feel like someone's out there.
Someone is, Charlie.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think I'm lifting off here, Cracker Jack.
Got to fly now.
Charlie, wait.
Hello? Hello? What's up? Jesus Christ! Scare you? What How the hell did you get in here? Extra set.
Don't you dare drive this car.
Wouldn't dream of it.
Strictly for breaking and entering.
Hand them over.
So, what, you just appear these days? On the boat, in my car? What's going on? Been a while.
Thought maybe you'd want to see a movie, get a meal You know, some father-and-son shit.
Yeah, right.
So how much do you need? 500? 1,000? Nothing.
Don't worry about it.
May I? This was my daughter's lighter, by the way.
Nip it in the bud.
I'm surprised you didn't start a mutiny about the new uniforms.
I'm just trying to be sober, Gloria.
Heya, roomie.
We're taking a cab, my treat.
What have I done? I can't wait to see your place.
You've seen my place.
Not without a dead guy in it.
I should warn you, by all accounts, I'm not an easy person to coexist with.
Jackie, please.
This is some Laverne and Shirley shit.
This is the bridge they jumped from.
I know.
There's always pizza.
Okay.
I thought I had more.
Hey, no worries.
I haven't had a chance to go shopping.
I'm easy-peasy here.
You know? What about pancakes? I can make pancakes.
Pancakes for dinner.
Oh, my God.
Really? That's It's good? I literally didn't even know that was possible.
Oh, great.
Okay.
Let me just get her started over here.
I'm good at it.
One of my specialties.
Pancakes make me want to dance.
It's something you should know about me.
I'm not even kidding.
When I make them for the girls, sometimes I make them into little shapes, like little snakes and things.
Really? You're good with shapes? So shapes are good? Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Okay, Zoey.
I get it.
Zoey's happy.
Okay, good.
Good, Zoey.
Okay.

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