NYPD Blue s01e15 Episode Script

Steroid Roy

NARRATOR: Previously on NYPD Blue: KELLY: What is he doing? - Hold it.
- Larson's blowing it.
Come on.
It's your ex, making it look like I screwed up.
Wanna start a squad- room brawl? How bad do you want to hurt yourself? Want me to come to your place tonight, and I'll make us some soup? Tonight's not good.
Medavoy's ring wasn't off when he tried to get Miss Abandando who you told me was more likely to be going out with Martina Navratilova? Morning of the big night, Andy? Are you ready for me to come over? - Listen, I gotta tell you something-- FANCY: Morning.
- Good morning.
How you doing? FANCY: Fine.
- You won't believe it.
I hardly can.
- What, Andy? I know with our history, you'll think I made this up-- Andy, what? Now, an incident has occurred at my apartment.
It's not fit for visitors.
- I don't believe this.
- You wanna know what happened? - No.
- Hey, John, good morning.
I've heard about fungus in the fish tank, dangerous tiles-- You want to know what happened? Yes or no? What happened? Well, I have a very bad gas leak.
Now, I called the gas people.
There is no way I'm gonna feel comfortable exposing you to danger.
- We're back to square one? - We are definitely not at square one.
I want you to come to my place.
I told you.
I turned that corner.
I'm looking forward to it.
I'm a changed man.
I have a dangerous leak.
That's all we're talking about here, now.
You want some advice, Andy? Get it fixed.
WOMAN: Mike? Roberts? - Mike Roberts around? I gotta see Mike.
DONNA: He's not here.
Mike? - Hey, Roberts.
- Excuse me.
DEE DEE: Get your ass out here.
- Dee Dee? - Remember me? Detective Kelly.
- Yeah.
I remember you, detective.
KELLY: Come here.
- Should I call Detective Roberts at home? - You know this isn't cool.
- Maybe Connie, his wife, will answer.
- You gotta do me a really big favor.
- What's that? Mike promised to get me money.
I can't get in touch with him-- - That's not how this works.
- But if I could borrow $20, I promise-- - I will give him your message.
- I gotta get up.
I don't have any money.
- I'm gonna give him your message.
- No.
No, no, no.
That's not good.
You think I'm only his snitch? You think that's what I am? I'm not.
I'm his round- the- world girl.
I'm his whore.
- What the hell's going on? - You got a visitor.
Hi, Mike.
- You're not supposed to be in here.
- I haven't seen you for three days.
Let's call Connie.
Yeah, let's call Connie.
Yeah, you know.
Hi, Connie, this-- SlPOWlCZ: What's wrong with you? DEE DEE: No, wait.
That's enough! I want her out of here.
DEE DEE: No, no, wait! KELLY: She's leaving.
- Roberts, my office! - Don't blame this on him.
FANCY: Get her out! - Mike, will I see you later? Steroid Roy - You need to be within rules with her.
- I know how that looked.
- I know that looked bad.
- You hear me? I heard.
I'd remind you this girl made a big case for us.
Let's not forget she's a good informant.
- You need to be within rules with her.
- Of course I am.
You kidding me? I mean, junkies.
What are you gonna do? You wanna know the truth? I think treating her like a person, the kid's in love.
You know, maybe she's in love with the possibility of something solid.
I'm what she aspires to, a role model or something.
Because if you're crossing the line, then it's you who's messing up.
I hear you, lieutenant.
LARSON: Hey, I gotta talk to you.
LlCALSl: Okay.
- What's going on, Janice? - Nothing.
Then how come the duty roster's paired me with Sackler? Because I asked for a new partner.
- If it's because I blew that undercover-- LlCALSl: No.
LARSON: Then what? I don't think you are a safe or reliable partner.
- I can't believe I'm hearing this.
- You want it straight? - You have a substance abuse problem.
- A what? Substance abuse? Is that what your friend Kelly's saying? Okay, Roy, why don't we just drop this, okay? This is not about Kelly.
And the thing I said, maybe I'm wrong.
All I know is that I'd feel more comfortable partnering with somebody else.
- I can't argue with that.
- No hard feelings? No.
Look, since we're not gonna partner that clears the way for us to get together socially.
You really don't get this, do you, Roy? Listen to what I'm saying.
I don't wanna have anything to do with you.
SlPOWlCZ: Hey, Laura.
- Hey.
- Hey, John.
- How's it going? - Good.
Could you do me a favor? - Sure.
- On the Garcia homicide could you get statements on the husband and wife? - I thought I put three in there.
- You did.
You got three documents of spousal abuse.
A woman confesses she stabbed her husband after he beat her.
Why more statements? Something isn't right.
Her lawyer's ready to plead manslaughter two.
That's the worst she'd do.
Something's missing.
I don't agree.
Before the trial, I'll reinterview like I do on every case.
- I don't think there'll be a trial.
- Tell your boss you want to go to bat.
I think he'll deal anyway.
So because you won't stand up to your boss I have to go reinterview for a woman who admits she stabbed her husband - and three neighbors say he beat her? - Yeah, that's what I'm asking-- - Are you asking me or telling me? - I was asking you.
What are you trying to turn this into? Okay, gentlemen, could we put a hold on everything and get statements on the Garcia homicide so the district attorney is comfortable presenting the case? Satisfied? Thanks for being such a prick, Johnny.
- Son of a bitch! COSTAS: If I got a buck every time a cop tried to get me, I'd be rich.
It's not personal.
- That was personal.
- Well, you stood your ground he acted like an asshole.
What else is new? Not a thing.
Dupree, we'd like to come by and ask you some more questions.
Tomorrow morning.
Can I send the detectives by? No, Mr.
Fuentes, we wanna talk to both of you.
Well, when will she be off? Tomorrow morning? We'll be there before noon.
Thank you.
- Kelly, you're up.
Apparent suicide.
- Two- man job, lieutenant? Yeah, go ahead.
Medavoy we got an apparent, urgent suicide.
I'm gonna have to kiss these Garcia calls over to you, okay? Delighted.
SlPOWlCZ: This the only door? There's no forced entry? DEVLIN: I'll know once I open her up, but I'll call it four or five hours.
Oh, man, you know who this is, don't you? SlPOWlCZ: Roberts' snitch.
KELLY: Yeah.
SUPER: All the time, I get complaints.
Nothing but trouble.
I get complaint.
Water leaking from the ceiling.
Who pays for this? I come up.
I bang on the door.
Banging, no answer.
SlPOWlCZ: Wait outside till we're ready.
Why her boyfriend don't tell me? Water come.
- What boyfriend? SUPER: Cop guy.
- Cop guy, huh? Cop guy in a uniform? - No, like you.
- Wonder who that is.
- Would he know about the water? He was here.
I see him leave.
A half- hour later, complaint.
- This cop guy got a name? - Mike.
I don't know last name.
Once, they fight.
I come ask for quiet.
- He show me his badge.
KELLY: Fight a lot? SUPER: Few hours before, I hear them.
SlPOWlCZ: Today? Yes.
First he go, then he come.
Then I see him leave again, half- hour later-- I know, the water's coming down through the ceiling, right? [DOG BARKS] SlPOWlCZ: Take it easy.
SUPER: Shut up! Go to pound.
- No.
They'll put it down in a pound.
- Down, up.
No dog allowed.
- I tell her 20 times! - I'll take the dog.
The dog's not going to a pound.
You got a green card? - You want to see? - No, get out of here.
Take off.
SUPER: He's crazy.
What that has to do with my green card? Ridiculous.
- We better go talk to Roberts.
- Let's tell Mike.
Like he doesn't know.
Poor kid.
I tried to straighten her out.
I mean, I really tried.
- I even prayed for her.
You believe it? - Talk about last night.
I saw her a lot, you know, maybe too much.
Maybe I even loved her a little, even, you know, like taking care of her and everything and making sure she was safe.
- That kind of love, know what I mean? - Last night, Mike.
ROBERTS: What about it? She died.
- When did you see her last? Yesterday.
I saw her with you guys.
You guys saw.
You didn't see her after that? Hey, what are we, gonna go bare knuckles here? - What do you want me to say? - Start with the truth.
The super saw you leave her apartment before water came through the ceiling.
Let me ask you a question.
What question did you just ask me? What was the question you asked me? When the last time you saw her was.
I told you the last time that I saw her alive, right? - When I saw her after, she was dead.
- Why didn't you call it in then, Mike? I had a couple of changes of clothes and shaving stuff in the apartment.
Where's the stuff now? It's in my locker, John.
Couple of shirts and some shaving stuff.
Come on, let's go.
SlPOWlCZ: Come on.
KELLY: Let's go take a look.
Beautiful, beautiful.
That's beautiful.
Embarrass me in front of the department.
Great! - Nobody's gonna embarrass you.
ROBERTS: Yeah, right.
- What's it look like? - I don't know.
- He deny the super's story? - Says he was there after she died.
- Only time he was there.
- Believe him? Says he picked up his personal effects.
What about the super saying they fought? - We're gonna work on that in a minute.
- John, this guy gets zero rhythm.
Razor, shirts, couple of pictures.
Which would kind of be what I told you, right? - You were only there once? - Right.
- Super says you were there twice.
- Let's break that down.
Super says I was there twice.
He's a liar.
Says he heard fighting.
Maybe he did.
She had scumbag friends - that's why she worked for us.
- We're getting different stories.
You say you were not there before you went to pick up your stuff? - Correct, for the second time.
- You altered a crime scene.
You admit lying about it.
Hey, John, don't talk to me like some street skell here.
You guys want to screw me for this, you go ahead.
I'm done talking to you.
- Yeah? MEDAVOY: Mrs.
Fuentes? - Yes.
- Detective Medavoy.
Detective Martinez.
- Your husband spoke to Detective Kelly? - Oh, yes.
Please come in.
Is your husband at home? [SPEAKS lN SPANISH] Morning, morning.
Would you like a cup of coffee? No, no, no, thanks, Mr.
We just want to go over what you told the detectives the other day.
- I told those guys everything I know.
- You were home alone? Right.
My wife works afternoons.
I work at night.
I'm a cook.
It says here that you were at home, you could hear Mr.
and Mrs.
Garcia arguing all day, then there was a scream.
You ran into the hallway and Mr.
Garcia came out of his apartment with the knife in him - collapsed in your arms and died.
- Exactly.
And Mrs.
Garcia said she stabbed her husband? - That's correct.
- You weren't home? - I was at work.
- Were you friends with Mrs.
Garcia? We didn't socialize.
We keep to ourselves.
What's the problem? Why are you asking questions again? - To be sure statements are accurate.
- Everybody knows she stabbed him.
He beat her up, she took her revenge.
- They're gonna lock her up for that? - That's up to a jury, sir.
But she's behind bars? She's not getting out, right? - What kind of bail? - That's up to the judge.
A woman like that is a danger, like the one who cut off her husband's dick.
These are the people they lock up and throw away the key.
That should do it.
Thanks for your time, Mr.
- Mrs.
Fuentes, gracias.
You'll let us know if she gets out on bail? Notify us somehow or another? Yeah, sure, we could do that if you want.
Yeah, sure.
- Anyway, thanks for your cooperation.
- Sure.
SlPOWlCZ: Yeast infection? How much is that gonna cost? I spent a month in the hospital, it didn't cost that much.
How old is this dog, anyway? You think he's gonna live for a while? All right, okay.
Is there any chance that this could be a special dog maybe a purebred, anything? No, it wouldn't, huh? All right, well, you got my Visa, go ahead and treat the dog.
- How we doing on those supplementals? - Okay.
- Listen, I'm sorry I hung you with that.
- No, forget about it.
Actually, this one witness, Fuentes we both felt that he had more to say, you know like he was embarrassed in front of his wife.
- Martinez is calling him up.
KELLY: Wait a minute.
I interviewed the guy.
He seemed okay.
- Yeah? It's probably nothing.
- Well, let me know, okay? Yeah, sure.
Fuentes, it's Detective Martinez.
My partner and I got the impression maybe something was bothering you maybe you felt uncomfortable talking about it.
We thought you might want to come in and talk, like, private, man- to- man.
Okay, good.
You work nights, right? Well, how about tomorrow morning? Great.
All right, just ask for Detective Martinez or Medavoy.
He's coming in.
You think Roberts offed her? He's an asshole.
We know that.
Whether he committed a murder? We'll get the toxicology.
We'll find out.
Big night? Sylvia coming over? You're not going to believe what happened.
I gotta tell you that.
- What are you laughing at? - Problem with the apartment? That's an attitude I don't appreciate.
As it turns out, I got an-- I do have a problem at my apartment.
- A gas leak.
- I didn't say anything.
But what's that? What's that goofy grin for? What, you think I'd destroy my own gas installation? It's gonna get repaired.
It may take a few days but you know the way things are with utilities.
Hey, the point is, is that I'm ready for her to come over.
I'm glad to hear it.
Good for you.
Great, the Amazing Hulk.
Detective, I owe you an apology.
I shouldn't have gotten in your face.
I was out of line.
- No problem.
- Bygones be bygones? Yeah.
I was thinking maybe you'd put in a good word for me with Janice Licalsi.
If she knows we're cool, she might let me up.
- She put in to ride with someone else.
- I think you need to talk to her about that.
Mm- hm.
Okay, no problem.
Give me 20 minutes a day, I could get you tightened up in a month.
- I'm tight.
- Your pectorals are okay now but you don't work them, in 5 years, they'll be at your knees.
- The train's moving on that track.
- What are you, mid- 30s? No reason for it.
Doesn't have to be that way.
- Thanks for the advice.
- It's not advice, it's fact.
As you get older, everything gets hairier, wider and closer to the ground.
A few leg lifts, some other techniques, you avoid an ass that's an embarrassment.
Let me work on him, Roy see if I can get him to come to his senses.
Our bodies are our temples.
What'll it take to drop a gorilla net on him? - This guy is on something, Andy.
- My vote is speed.
You wanna sit on a butt like cottage cheese, be my guest.
I'll sit on this.
You got to admit, lieutenant, the guy's got a hell of a muscular ass.
Hey, detectives? That's Dee Dee Santini's mother.
- Sorry for your loss, Mrs.
- My name's McBride.
My daughter's name was Santini.
At 1 6, she married a punk named Santini.
This is my Dolores, and she'll always be McBride to me.
Let's sit down.
Come on, sit down.
- What can we do for you, ma'am? - I want to show you some things.
This is her high school graduation.
She did excellent in school, the Sisters said.
Got good grades, was in every club.
She was quitting drugs, you know.
She promised our priest.
What else you got there? Is that a diary? Do either of you have children? Yeah, I got a boy.
Are you close to him, detective? - Not at present.
- Something happens that's not right you know.
You know about your kids.
- Yeah, I guess you do.
- I knew.
Even before I read this I knew she was involved with someone who hurt her, some married bastard.
She tried 20 times to split up with him, but she was weak because of the drugs.
This time, she promised Father Kelleher.
She was ready this time, and this bastard took her chance away.
Can we see this? MCBRIDE: Here, read this.
It says it right here.
"Mike says if I leave him, he'll kill me.
He says if I'm going to call his wife again, he's going to kill me.
" She read to me from this.
She gave this to me.
Look, listen.
"I am definitely going to quit drugs.
I am definitely going to change my life with Father Kelleher's help.
" I'm telling you, this son of a bitch killed her, this Mike.
I begged her to tell me, but she refused.
His last name's not in the book.
This is gonna be very helpful.
So it's not a suicide.
This girl was murdered.
- You read how she was gonna quit drugs? - Thank you for giving us the diary.
- You have leads? - Yeah, we're working on things.
You find this Mike.
He murdered my little girl.
- You wanted to see me, sir? - Yeah.
I want you to go over to Health Services and take a drug test, officer.
- A drug test? What for? WALLENBECK: For cause.
Lieutenant brought facts to my attention that warrant it.
- I don't get this.
- You have a problem? No, sir, absolutely not.
I got nothing to hide.
I would like to know who's spreading rumors about me.
- No one's spreading rumors.
- Health Services expects you.
- If you got nothing to hide, not to worry.
- Yes, sir.
You know where you're going? Lefrak City? Yeah, I know where I'm going.
Hey, Janice.
- You and your boyfriend got me.
- I don't know what you mean.
Well, I got a hot flash for you.
You don't got dick.
I'm gonna ace the drug test and take the results and shove them up your chicken- hearted boyfriend's ass.
What did Dee Dee's mother want? Look, let's talk in the interview room, all right? I hope you're not paying attention to what she says.
According to her Dee Dee still had her cherry.
A stone junkie.
She still thought her daughter ran around in a convent school uniform.
I wish you didn't leave messages at my house.
Connie's worried.
You were down to work.
We tried reaching you.
What are you gonna do? More"rub Mike's nose in it"? "How could Roberts mess up on procedure?" - Procedure? - I got overinvolved with a snitch.
It's not a hanging offense, is it, guys? Hey, do I need a PBA rep or a lawyer? I thought seven years working together counted for something.
It doesn't.
In her diary, you threaten her life.
Said you'd kill her if she calls your wife, which we heard her threaten.
KELLY: Tell us what happened between you two before she died.
What are you saying? You think I killed her? What she put in a diary you take above my word? Everything that happened that day, Roberts.
Now! - I told you.
- The super says you were there twice.
The super says.
The snitch says in her book.
What about what Roberts says, huh? All right.
I was there before she died, okay? Okay? And I brought her something.
I was desperate to break it off with this girl.
What happened, Roberts? Now! I bought her a bag of quinine.
I brought her a beat bag, looks and tastes like dope.
She's not going to know it's not dope until after I leave.
I needed to talk to her.
I needed to tell her how things were gonna be.
She wasn't gonna listen to me unless I did.
Unless I gave her something.
So I gave her the stuff, told her we were done she freaks out, this and that.
I'm gonna do myself in.
Believe me, for her that was like going to the crapper.
That's how many times she threatened that.
And that's it.
I broke it off with her, and I left.
Why did you go back, Mike? Because I was worried about her.
Because exactly what I was afraid of actually happened.
I get there she's dead.
The little dog is there.
I used to go over there on Sundays, you know bring the paper coffee.
I used to bring a bag of bear claws.
That little dog used to beg in front of me for them bear claws.
I loved that little dog.
I loved that little dog.
[MARTINEZ SPEAKS lN SPANISH] I'm okay speaking as we are.
Fuentes, when we came to see you yesterday you seemed nervous about Mrs.
Garcia making her bail.
You told us that you and your wife don't know her very well.
So, what are you concerned about? You know her a little better than you said? I'll tell you everything, but you can't use it to incriminate me.
I gotta ask you something.
- Do you want to have a lawyer here? - No lawyer.
I didn't do nothing wrong.
Why don't you tell us what's on your mind? - I had relations with Mrs.
- What kind of relations? You know, intimate, virile.
I couldn't help it.
She fell in love with me.
Her husband worked all day.
He'd come home at night, drink, beat her.
Coño, you know, she has needs.
You're home during the day, work at night.
My wife's a good woman.
I love her.
But Luisa Garcia estaba bien caliente.
It was a passionate affair.
I knew it was wrong.
What am I supposed to do? Said she'd kill her husband, I should kill my wife so we could live together.
I just let it go.
I thought it was talk.
The next thing you know, lo mató, Mr.
Garcia is dead.
She did it.
Son of a bitch.
But I'm still thinking that she did it because he was beating her.
- This is when I talked to your detective.
- Detective Kelly.
Yeah, yeah.
Then she gives me a call three days ago.
She calls me from prison, right? "I did my part," she says.
"Now you gonna do yours.
" That's why I was upset when you came over.
Now I realize that she's crazy.
She says she murdered him so we can live together forever.
- Your wife knows nothing about this? - I confessed.
- She knows I'm here.
- You did the right thing.
I had to.
What about if she gets off on bail? She's angry with me, the next thing you know-- SlPOWlCZ: Yeah.
- M.
's office says Devlin's on his way.
- Toxicology? - He didn't say.
MEDAVOY: Hey, John? Have a seat, Mr.
That witness, Fuentes, in the Garcia homicide? He says him and Mrs.
Garcia were having an affair.
- That's why she did the murder.
- I missed that? MEDAVOY: You didn't.
After your interview the woman calls from prison, says she did her part, now he's got to do his.
- That takes it to murder.
- Yeah.
- Give it to the DA? - Martinez is making a call.
- Way to go.
- Yeah, thanks.
MARTINEZ: It's Martinez, calling about the Garcia case.
KELLY: Laurie was right, Andy.
- Uh- huh.
- My shoes are about to be squeezed.
SlPOWlCZ: Bigtime.
DONNA: Here you go, detective.
The vet said to limit her exercise and give her this medication.
SlPOWlCZ: Thanks for picking her up.
- It was expensive.
- Yeah.
- What's she got, anyway? She's afflicted with a complaint, you know, a female- dog type of thing.
What's the full- court press on Santini about? They got mail service now.
- What did you get off toxicology? - This girl was a suicide.
Trace amounts of narcotics in her system, not enough to stupefy anyone let alone a junkie.
She pulled the bag over her head.
Otherwise, we'd have found signs of struggle, resistance.
- The mutt from her apartment? - Yeah.
- She's as much of a mess as that girl.
- Hey, you ain't exactly Clark Gable.
- John, what did the M.
say? - Suicide, Mike.
- I told you I was clean, right? - Yeah, you did.
That's right, I did.
Yeah, squeaky clean, Roberts.
LAURA: Yeah, thanks, I'll see you upstairs.
Hey, congratulations on that Garcia homicide.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
I was flat wrong about that.
- I didn't have my crystal ball.
- You were dead right.
Yeah, well, I'm glad it worked out.
Nice job.
Thank you.
- Think that got you out of the woods? - Yeah, I'm romping in the fields now.
This won't take long, Roberts.
's finding was suicide, right? He didn't have doubts? I read the report on the Santini case.
I talked with Sipowicz and Kelly.
I also read her diary.
That's pretty sad reading.
I never actually gave her any drugs, right? What I read in that diary made me sick.
Lieutenant, let's remember she was a junkie, huh? - It's not like you can take their word.
- You took control of a weak suffering, dependent person.
You beat her.
- You made sexual use of her-- - But I didn't kill her.
I didn't kill her.
Which is what I understood this inquiry to be all about, right? I mean, you don't see anything criminal coming out of this, do you? - You put in for retirement.
- I need three years for full vesting.
Today! I don't care what you lose in vesting or in benefits.
I won't have you in this precinct or pass you on.
You fight me I'll turn the package over to IAD with a recommendation to dismiss.
I'm gone.
Fancy iced me.
Told me he'd smear me if I fought him.
I'm sorry, Mike.
ROBERTS: I'll get hurt in vesting, at least I'll get partial pension.
Maybe it's for the best.
Wife's coming up.
Got the middle daughter in a ballet recital.
You know, used to come a time if I went to this recital I'd have myself paged, find an excuse to go over to Dee Dee's.
Now I get to see the whole dance of the Enchanted Field Mice, whatever it is.
You want to see me? You get those test results back? Close the door, Larson.
Let me have your gun and your shield.
What for? Your tests came back with multiple positives.
Steroids-- Hold it.
Now, steroids are not on the banned- substances list.
Methamphetamines are.
There is no way I tested positive for meth.
That's gotta be wrong.
Testing's sophisticated now.
Can't cover your tracks with sudafedrin.
You're terminated as of tomorrow.
You report to 1 Police Plaza for out- processing in the morning.
Your gun and your shield.
This is a setup.
If you think that I am gonna sit still for this, you are crazy.
I am gonna get a lawyer, and I'm gonna sue your asses.
You have two guns listed.
Give the other one to the sergeant before you leave.
You people haven't heard the last of this.
- Good night.
- Night.
KELLY: You okay? There's an adversarial relationship between DA's and detectives.
I accept that.
But when I asked you to do the supplementals - you made it personal.
- I did.
I was out of line.
- It got like old times.
I won't let-- - You shouldn't.
I thought it's okay we work together.
I thought-- It's working out great, okay? Just seeing you around here taking an interest in people, doing your job.
It's great seeing you.
Seeing you smile.
Are you flirting with me? No, I was.
Can I get back to you on that? - Good night, guys.
KELLY: Night, lieutenant.
SlPOWlCZ: Hey, Laura.
Hey, John, listen, I got that gas problem fixed in my apartment.
- I'm having a visitor over.
- Have a great time.
Oh, yeah.
lnteresting- looking dog you got there.
SlPOWlCZ: She's getting antibiotic treatments.
It dulls her coat.
- Good night, fellas.
- Sarge.
LARSON: Hey, Kelly! - What? - You're a real bushwhack artist.
KELLY: What are you talking about? - You gotta hide behind your lieutenant, saying I got a drug problem.
- You brought this on yourself.
LARSON: You cost me my job, you prick! Hey, Roy, take this outside the station house, okay? Go outside, get it off your chest.
Better than doing it here.
I'm gonna kick his ass, then your ass.
If we go, we're gonna go.
Hell of a fall.
Floor can be pretty slick this time of year.
Come on, pup.
Okay, people, come on.
The party's over.
Come on in.
Have any trouble finding the place? - No, no trouble.
- Good.
- So we're off to a good start here.
- Yeah.
No last- minute gas leaks.
No, no, the repair people gave the place a clean bill of health.
You want something to drink? All I got is soda.
- Sure, soda's good.
- Yeah.
You got a closet? Oh, here, let me get that for you.
I got it.
Oh, sorry.
Oh, the aquarium.
It's very pretty, Andy.
Yeah, the coral's new.
Oh, yeah? This is my kitchen here.
- Would you like a snack? Pretzels? - No, no, thanks.
Andy, look, I know this is a little awkward.
I'm sweating up a storm here.
I feel like I'm eating a six- course meal.
[DOG BARKS] - Mind if I let the dog out? - No.
SlPOWlCZ: Okay, pup, here we go.
Hey, Lulu.
Oh, hi, Lulu.
I still have to put her medicine in her food, but she's 60 percent improved.
That problem with her fatigas.
Excuse me? The dog's fatigas is better now.
That problem she had.
Was that a euphemism? Oh, boy, here we go with the Latin.
You know, the fatigas.
It's like the female private parts.
Boy, I tell you, I'm sweating up a storm here.
You're just a little nervous.
I'll come clean with you.
I haven't had sex sober in about 20 years.
You're not gonna scare me off, Andy.
I know what you were like, and I know what you're like now.
And I think you're a good man.
And in your own way, very charming.
So you want to hit the sack? I'd like it if you kissed me.
I'm getting a new bed cover.
I've got it on order.
- Wanna fold that up or-- ? - Sh.
You realize that if I don't hold up my end, so to speak I may have to kill you.
Somehow it doesn't feel like it's gonna be a problem.