Offspring (2010) s06e03 Episode Script
Getting to Know You
1 Your father was my best friend.
And he's gone.
Cherie has taken to wearing a towel.
After the shower, but she's never bothered about covering up before.
The majority of Darcy's estate, is invested in Jimmy's taqueria.
I should sell the business I can't risk your money.
And especially not Ray's.
If you don't want to sell your restaurant.
I could invest.
Seventy percent equity.
That might look more like a takeover bid, but I definitely still want you involved.
I'm just going to stop you there, and politely decline your offer.
How's your daughter? Brodie? Where's she? Brodie.
What are you, the social worker? Maybe I have just never understood why anyone would sleep with someone that's been everywhere.
[all.]
Oh, I would.
How do you, you know, turn it off? Turn [lowers voice.]
Your sex off ? Offspring 6x03 "Getting to Know Your" July 13, 2016 Hello.
Hi, Martin.
[loud buzz.]
Oh, for God's sake! Usually in a situation like this, it's simply a matter of applying brute force.
[grunts.]
Oh, for gosh darn! Darn! Is it warm in here all of a sudden? [exhilarating music playing.]
[both groan.]
Oh, yes! [camera shutter clicks.]
Oh yeah! Oh, God! ["When We Swam" playing.]
Oh why, oh why, oh why? Won't you sing? Bring your hips to me Oh, bring your hips Oh, oh, bring your hips to me To me Oh, bring your hips to me Oh, bring your hips Oh, oh, bring your hips to me To me To me Oh why, oh why? Oh why? Won't you sing? Clegg? You had a sex dream about Martin Clegg? Not a sex dream.
A work dream.
- With sex in it.
- Yep.
That's a sex dream.
So do you fancy him? A sex dream doesn't mean that I'm actually subconsciously attracted to Martin.
I'm not.
- Or does it? - What are you doing with my underwear? Organising.
To stay sane on tour, I've been doing this Japanese method.
Simplify, declutter, spark joy.
For instance, do these spark joy? They spark comfort.
So this is your body telling you that it needs sex.
Sex? Neens, it's been a while, let's face it.
How long exactly? Well, I don't know.
Six months.
Seven.
And sex with Leo was never exactly Exactly what? Well, amazing.
I'm just going off what you told me.
I mean, you said something about UGG boots? Yeah, like putting on UGG boots at the end of the day.
You had warm, woolly sex with Leo, and then seven months of nothing.
I dunno, maybe it's time you got out there again.
Oh God, it all just seems too hard.
Sex dreams about Clegg.
I think that's a warning.
That's your body saying, "I crave bodily intimacy even if it's with slightly weird yet compelling beardy man.
" I would not know where to start.
[phone ringing.]
How does sex happen again? Billie Proudman.
Brody who? Nuh, nuh, never heard of her.
Sex? Who with? It's not like there are any contenders.
[Geraldine.]
Crabby? Who's crabby? I'm not crabby.
- There's Alfie.
- [Geraldine.]
Nina! He's calling me crabby.
[Jimmy.]
I'm just saying, since this lemon juice cleanse, you've been on a bit of a short fuse.
Mum, when was the last time you actually ate something? I accidentally ingested some lemon pith yesterday.
Does that count? You know, from a medical point of view, this whole lemon cleansing thing is complete nonsense.
Oh, get off your high horse.
If I want to cleanse myself, then I will fricking well cleanse myself.
I don't care how many fricking lemons it takes Can you tone down the frickings? There's kids! - Why do you think I'm saying "fricking"? - [Nina.]
Mum! Neens, Will wants to have lunch with me and the kids.
- Zoe can totally join that action.
- Sure.
[doorbell rings.]
[Geraldine.]
Answer that fricking door! - Mum! - I'm getting it! - Hey! - Hey.
- Hey.
- Ray! Hey.
- What are you doing here? - Oh, Ray's a bit crook.
Oh, that's no good.
Hey Ray, come on in, man.
- See ya, honey.
- Join the game.
We're going trampolining.
- Ray doesn't look crook.
- I know.
I don't think he's figured out that his mum's a nurse, he can't fool me.
- Okay, so what's wrong with him? - It's a bit full-on at school.
He needs a break from being the kid whose dad died.
Okay.
- Hey, Zara, how're you doing? - Yeah, couldn't be better.
Bye.
Good day.
Thanks, Jimmy.
- [Angus.]
Nina.
- Angus.
I just remembered.
I dreamt about you last night.
Oh, really? A sex dream? No, just a regular dream.
We were fully clothed.
[stutters.]
Sorry, I was just um, I assumed.
- I'd have a sex dream about you? - Yeah! No, no, of course not! It's just It I happened to be thinking about sex dreams because Because What are you doing, Nina? Shut up! I had a sex dream.
Was I in it? No, that's the surprising thing.
Not surprising that you weren't in it.
The surprising thing was is that in my work dream, I was having sex with Martin Clegg.
Morning, Martin.
You had a sex dream? About me? - Yes.
- Well, it's hardly surprising, is it? You know, you'd be fascinated to know it's a reasonably common phenomena around dominant alpha males such as myself.
No doubt you were pleasuring yourself at the time.
- What? No! - Cherie'll be interested in hearing this.
- I don't think Cherie needs to hear this.
- Cheri needs to hear what? Well, Nina's been having erotic dreams about me.
Okay.
One dream.
It was a work dream.
So the sexual activity transpired at work? Well, sort of.
It was in the lift.
We were stuck in the lift.
I think that's a metaphor for Were the doors open? - A little bit.
- Were we watching? Yep.
[gagging.]
Good! Well I'm glad we've all had this time together and now I've got to go and Ah! [new-age instrumental music playing.]
Ah, she's the daughter of an old friend of mine.
A friend? I thought you said she was your aunty.
Well, not "aunty" aunty, but yes.
Anyway, Brody here was picked up for fare evasion on one of our country services.
- Bit of an altercation ensued.
- Yeah, and whose fault was that? Frankly, we should've probably called the cops.
Wish you had, because then I could do you for assault.
We were just trying to encourage her to remove herself from the train.
Assault, interfering with a minor, verbally abusing a minor.
We couldn't release her unless she paid the fine.
So, ah, she gave us your name.
How much is the fine? Two hundred and twenty-three dollars.
How about I pay this fine if you apologise to this gentleman for your rudeness.
Do you want to get out of here or not? Sorry.
Do you take credit card, or do I have to No, just ah, cash.
So, your mum's a Christian now? Born Again.
Well, actually not exactly born again.
I don't know what it is.
Basically when she got out of jail, she moved up to Mullumbimby with this guy she met online.
He's like super into the church.
So she gets me and my brother out of foster care, and we're like, awesome, we're gonna go live in Mullumbimby.
And then we realise it's completely isolated in the middle of nowhere with just cows, and trees and shit.
I take it she doesn't know where you are now? She doesn't care.
She told me to get out.
You know what she's like.
You know you have to call her though, right? What happened? We had this big fight about Jason.
So Jason's your boyfriend? And it's just because he's got kids and stuff.
- So more than one kid? - Two.
And they're so cute.
I've got photos.
- These are his kids.
Cute, huh? - Yep.
Oh, and ah, this is Jason.
Oh, wow, that's impressive ink.
Tatts are hot.
He looks like he's a bit older than you.
He's 19.
Actually he's 23.
I told Mum he was 19.
So where are you going to stay in Melbourne? Someone'll have a couch.
What's the plan after that? I'll probably just get a job.
I want to do childcare, but for, like, famous people.
Brody, I want you to stay with me, Just till you get yourself sorted out.
- Really? - Yeah.
Sweet.
Thanks.
When I say "me," it's actually my sister's place, but she'll be fine.
Actually I should call her.
She's not great with surprises.
- Hi, Billie.
- [Billie.]
I'm going to ask you a favour - Yep.
- and I want you to say yes.
Would it be okay if I had someone to stay, just for a night or two? Billie, can I just call you back? Yep, I'll call you back in a minute.
Neens? You had a sex dream about Martin? - Are you angry? - Oh, no.
Martin's a handsome man.
Ah, exactly! I don't want to have sex with him.
It was just one of those funny things.
I don't think the dream meant anything.
Well, it usually means you need a release.
Find someone to have to do it with.
Well, like who? Hey, what about Angus? That pantsman? Why not? No strings attached.
Oh, not interested.
I'm sure he'd be up for it.
And I reckon pantsmen get a lot of practice.
Never in a billion, trillion years would I have sex with Angus.
Hi, Angus.
Hey, Cherie.
A pantsman? Really? I'm sorry.
That was a terrible and appalling thing to say, and I would never normally describe anyone.
- Like a - Like a pantsman.
- Exactly.
- Mm.
I, um, I'm just gonna Go.
See you, Cherie.
- Was there a reason for your visit? - Yes, there is.
I just wanted to get your okay for my group to observe you on the ward tomorrow.
Of course, yes.
If it's rostered.
Yes, it is.
Thanks.
Oh, and Cherie's right.
We pantsmen, we do.
We get a lot of practice.
Lots.
No, no, no.
He's not someone to focus on for sex.
Bad idea.
No.
But then again, like you said, "Never in a billion, trillion years.
" It's fine.
It'll be fine.
She's, um Seems a bit distracted.
All right.
This can be your room.
[Brody.]
Cool.
- Whose old junk is all this? - Oh, ah, it's mine.
Can't take much to the UK.
Actually, if you, um If you check in this box I think there'll be some clean sheets.
Do you like living in the UK? Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's great.
Hear the weather's pretty bad.
Yeah, it is.
But, um It's, um, I don't know, It's not kind of what stuff you have with you, or where you are, it's who you're with, you know.
That's family, where you are, that's home.
But aren't all your family here? Well, I kind of meant my husband Mick.
Right.
Ah, Nina! I wondered if I might speak to you.
Is it urgent? I can assure you that it's a matter of dire importance.
Right.
Well, in that case, of course.
- Thank you.
- Come on in.
Um Ah, Nina [clears throat.]
I'm concerned that you may have felt that I dealt with your confession this morning a little too lightly.
No, no.
That's fine.
Nina, I assure you I take matters like this very, very seriously.
When an issue like this arises between two professionals in the workplace, I feel the best practice is to examine it, to come at it from all angles, as it were.
- Oh.
- Well, Nina, perhaps just um Perhaps just a few little more details about your little dream, you know? For example, what was I wearing? Martin, I don't really have the time I really need you to do this for me.
What was I wearing? Was it this suit, or was it the charcoal check? - I think the charcoal.
- I knew it.
Yes, I do turn heads when I wear it.
You know, the old charky charcoal.
And the tie? What tie did I team with it? - Martin.
- Yes? What's this about? - What? - Is-Is this about Cherie? What? No, not about Cherie.
Ridiculous! Oh, yes, it's about It's about Cherie.
We're in the doldrums, sexually speaking, and, ah, you know, I mean God, she used to be insatiable.
And You know fluctuations in libido are not uncommon in longterm relationships, obviously.
You know that.
You know God knows there've been times when I've had to decline my own services.
[stutters.]
That's not true.
I've never once said no to her, and I don't think I ever would.
Um So, anyway, about you.
If you, ah, if you need me to service you sexually I'll have to have a word with Cherie about it first.
- Martin - But you need to understand that I couldn't give myself to you completely because my heart belongs to Cherie.
[cries.]
See, you're a good friend, so if you need me to help you, and give you a quick one-two in the downstairs department.
- If you're desperate, I'll help, so - No, I'm not.
I-I don't need a quick one-two.
Thank you.
[melancholy instrumental music playing.]
[laughing.]
So Will's mum is - Marjorie.
- And he's a half-brother.
Exactly.
Just like you and me.
Except he's a wanker.
Oh.
Yeah, he is a bit.
But you know what? We have to feel sorry for Will.
He missed out on Dad.
He didn't get to travel around Australia in a broken down kombi van.
I guess.
He's still a wanker, though.
Woo hoo! Oh! - Pretty cool, huh? - Pretty cool.
- You finished with that? - Yeah.
So, trampolining, great idea.
Yeah, but it's not 1990.
It's not called trampolining anymore.
It's called rebounding.
Hashtag fun fact.
So, business.
How's it going? Had any rethinks? Yes, actually, I'm selling.
Ouch! Well, I don't really have a lot of choice, Will.
My offer still stands.
If you're interested.
Yeah, no, I'm fine, thanks.
Well, up to you.
Your call entirely, mate.
Yep.
All right, all right, all right! Come on! - I'll do my big jump? - [Alfie.]
Yeah, yeah.
I need you to clap for me.
Ready? Ready? Big jump.
Woo hoo! Woo hoo! How's that? That's just unnecessary.
[kids laughing.]
- It was a dream, Kim.
- Yeah, I know.
It's got nothing to do with that.
- What? - Oh.
- [Angus.]
Hey, Kim.
- Hey.
[Nina.]
Oh, great! You know, Angus, some of our recent interactions have left me uncomfortable, given our need to work together.
Oh, yes? I'm talking about the pantsman thing, and the dream.
No need to feel uncomfortable.
Are you afraid that you've revealed too much of yourself? No, no, more that I've misrepresented myself in a way that gives you A clearer view of you, perhaps? I was gonna say the wrong idea.
Oh, okay.
Do you think you see me clearly, do you? I think you keep bringing up this dream stuff because maybe you want to talk about it.
Maybe you want me to be interested.
No.
I'm trying to dispel confusion.
Oh, all right.
Well, apology accepted.
I didn't apologise.
Would you like me to ask you out? No.
I'm trying I want you to accept my apology for the confusion.
You know what? We get one shot at this thing called life.
Once through the universe and that's it.
What? And here we are, together.
Some force, an energy, has drawn us to each other.
So what do we do about it? Don't listen.
Do we act on the attraction? Or not? And if not, I mean, why not? Why not bring some comfort and joy to each other in those brief moments when two people choose to be together? A collision in space.
A collision? We're still on the same floor.
- Did you push the button? - Nope.
Well, that explains that, then.
And I accept your apology.
Do you know what I'm wondering? How many times you've made that speech, and to how many women.
Actually I've never made that speech before.
I just made it up.
Pretty good though, isn't it? Oh, for heaven's sake, you don't have to make such a drama about it all.
I left you to watch them.
With your eyes.
They were all jacked up on sugar and trampolines.
What's going on? While mother was watching the children, Alfie went at Zoe with these.
Oh, he was just pruning her.
[Nina.]
Pruning her? [Geraldine.]
Yes, well, they'd been watching, um, oh, what's his name? That handsome fellow.
Very muscular.
Anyway, whatever.
And he was doing this story about hedges.
- I'm so sorry.
- She's fine.
It's nothing a band-aid won't fix.
You're not meant to let small children play with those things.
Why weren't they out of reach? Making a fuss about it will only create a bigger deal.
What were you doing, while your grand-children were playing with sharp tools? Were you even in the room? - Oh! We can do without the third degree.
- Are you sober? - This is how he talks to me.
- Oh, I think it's a reasonable question.
[baby cooing.]
You know what? I quit.
I am no longer running this childcare service.
I am just so sick and tired of being this family's childcare stop-gap.
It's elder abuse.
That's what Marjorie calls it.
So, do me a favour and take your children, and go and leave me in peace.
Mum, I live here.
Well, make some alternative childcare arrangements.
And start paying rent! - Huh.
- Ah.
- But what did you do to make this happen? - I blame the lemons.
And Will, for the trampolines.
Did you know she felt so taken for granted? Well, I had no idea.
Maybe it's been coming for a while.
[Nina.]
Zoe, it's time to go, darling.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Yeah.
[children laughing.]
Rough day? Yeah.
Yeah, it's not the best time to lose our childcare arrangements.
This next week is so intense.
I've got to go to work.
I'll take Ray home.
Ray.
- I'll see you later.
- Yeah.
- Can we get pizza? - Oh, I've gotta get to work, mate.
Maybe another day? Wait, did Dad used to take you for pizza? Thursday nights, down at the river? Ham and pineapple? Same with me, when I was your age! Dad loved ham and pineapple.
Did you used to sit in a boat but not on the water, on the shore? - Yep.
- Throw crusts to the ducks? Forgot about that.
Come on, let's get pizza.
- There you go, buddy.
- Thank you.
You all right? [serene instrumental music playing.]
Mummy feels like green spaghetti, too.
Want to take your bag off? - Oh, hi.
- Hello.
Um, I'm Brody.
Did Billie not mention me to you? Ah! - She called you.
- She did call.
- Ah, she said I could stay here.
- Yes.
Of course.
Yes.
Yes, you can.
Welcome.
- Where is Billie? - Oh, I think she went to the shops.
Okay.
Well, hello, I'm Nina.
- This is Zoe.
- Hey.
Hi, cutie.
I saw you had a play kitchen in your house.
- Do you like making cakes? - Mm-hmm.
- Like chocolate? - Yes, chocolate! - [Brody.]
Chocolate? You like chocolate? - Mm.
[Brody.]
That sounds fun.
Billie, I'm gonna kill you.
- Hey, did you ever throw a line in? - Yep.
- Ever catch anything? - Caught a pair of undies.
Undies! Wow, I never caught anything that good.
[phone rings.]
Hold that, bro.
Hello.
Jimmy, Bianca Beaufort here.
How are you? Yeah, fine.
Listen, we've had an offer on the taqueria.
150K, walk in, walk out.
How much? 250,000 dollars? No.
No mate, 150K.
One-five-oh.
Are you there? Yeah, I'm still here.
I know it's the first offer, but I think you need to seriously consider it.
They've offered a short settlement to sweeten it.
No, it's too low.
I can't do it.
Mate, I want you to do me a favour and sleep on it.
Have a think.
Talk to your wife.
- Then give me an answer in the morning? - Okay.
Give me a call in the morning first thing.
Everything okay? Yeah, of course.
Come on, we should get to work.
- How's your Spanish? - Terrible.
All you have to say is gracias.
- Gracias.
- Perfect.
You're a waiter.
Come on, let's go.
Zoe, ready? Ready? Zoe, look.
Look! [growls.]
Wait, look.
[door opening.]
[footsteps approaching.]
Hi! Sorry, I got held up.
So you've met Brody? - Mm, yeah, we've met.
- Hi, darling.
I stopped off at Mum's.
That's why I'm late.
Bath time! You ready for a bath? - Nina, would you like me to bath Zoe? - Yes! Brody should do it.
No, no, I can do it.
- Please - She's She's really great with kids.
- She wants to get into childcare.
- [Brody.]
Do you want bubbles? - Who is she? - She's Stacey's daughter.
The eldest.
- Oh.
- These are for you.
For being you.
Billie, is this a good idea? She had a huge fight with Stacey.
She's got nowhere to stay.
They picked her up for fare evasion and she gave them my name.
It's just one or two nights.
[Zoe shouting.]
[Brody.]
You're splashing the water everywhere! She's great.
[Brody.]
Keep the water in the bath.
We're going to scrub [indistinct conversation.]
- [Jason.]
Oi, she came onto me! - [Brody.]
Oh, yeah.
[Jason.]
I've already said I'm sorry once.
- Come on, babe, all right.
- [Brody.]
No, I'm not If you're so sorry, why'd you do it at all? I didn't do nothin'.
She's just making shit up.
Bullshit! Stop lying to me.
You're such a liar.
- I'm not lying to ya.
- You are.
I saw the photos.
I saw the fucking photos.
I had one drink at her house.
Then why is she naked in the photos, huh? - [Jason.]
Bullshit! - [Nina.]
Stop! Stop it! You, get out.
You, get inside.
- Wait, let me talk to her.
- Get out.
- Hey, back off.
- You back off.
Want me to call the cops? - Oh, you want me to deck ya? - Stay inside.
It's Jason, is it? You don't want me to call the cops.
You know why? She's underage.
Mummy! [Billie.]
Don't ever come back.
I'm sorry.
- I know you are.
- You were heading to your bedroom.
- We were just going to talk.
- Oh, bullshit, Brody.
Come on.
I'm really sorry.
I understand that he turned up out of the blue, I understand that you were upset.
But, Brody, I have a toddler in the house.
Do you know it took Nina two hours to get Zoe settled again last night? We're guests here.
I'll go.
No, that You don't have to go.
That's not what we're saying.
[Nina.]
She's young and lost.
And in over her head, just like Billie used to be.
- Babe.
- What? The taqueria, I'm going to sell it.
What are you talking about? Someone made an offer, and I'm going to sell.
Why are you even thinking about selling? Because of Ray.
The taqueria's his inheritance.
Dad loaned me some money - six months ago to - How much? A hundred and fifty grand.
You borrowed $150,000 without telling me? I needed a cash injection.
Dad offered to help.
You told me that the taqueria was doing well.
- I didn't want to stress you.
- The taqueria is our livelihood.
- Without that - It's gonna be okay.
How? We won't have any money.
I suppose I could We could just budget better with the groceries, and swimming lessons are about to start so we can't do that.
I'm going to take care of it.
I'll ask if they can take me back at the hospital.
No, you don't have to do that.
Jimmy.
You told me that we were doing well.
Zara, I promise you, you don't have to worry about this.
This is my problem.
I'm gonna solve it.
Trust me.
Yep.
Obviously.
[Bianca.]
Just at the back there.
It's good to get that sorted, huh? Okay, big push for me now, Ellie.
I can see the baby's head.
- Push! - [Ellie groans.]
[Nina.]
That's it.
Okay, hold off for a second, Ellie.
I want you to lie back down flat.
Don't push until I ask you to.
- Okay, why? - Lie her down flat.
I want you to call time.
The baby's shoulder's stuck.
[panting.]
- We've only got a few minutes.
- NICU team? - [Nina.]
Yeah.
- What's NICU? [Nina.]
It's the intensive care unit.
We might need some help.
Okay, we're just going to try and make a bit of room for your baby's shoulder, okay? You and I are going to focus.
Focus on me, Ellie, okay? We're going to try some more big pushes.
I need help.
Yes, I'm here.
Can you assist Kim? We're going to do the McRoberts' manoeuvre.
Yes, I know it.
Right, now flexing back.
Right back with your hips.
Big push now, Ellie.
Big push.
[Ellie screaming.]
One minute.
[Ellie panting.]
- Suprapubic pressure? - Yes.
Okay, we're going to give it another try now, Ellie.
I just need another pair of hands.
Zara? This time, Angus is going to place some pressure on your belly and try and get that shoulder around, okay? Okay, flexing back, right back.
- And push.
- [Ellie screaming.]
Push.
And push.
[Ellie continues screaming.]
- Theatreâs standing by.
- [Kim.]
Two minutes.
Okay, we're going to give it one more go.
And deep breath, Ellie.
Deep breath.
And push! [Ellie grunting.]
Really big push.
[Ellie continues grunting.]
Here it comes.
The shoulder's free.
[Angus.]
Oh, thank God.
[Nina.]
All right, here he comes.
Slow it down, slow it down.
I want you to give me a couple of little pushes, okay? Little push, little push.
- That's it, here he comes.
- [baby cries.]
Here he comes.
Oh, we have our boy.
[Ellie crying.]
[Nina.]
Here we go.
Well done, Ellie.
Well done, everyone.
Come here.
We'll check him out now, okay? Shoulder dystocia is, ah It's a challenging and frightening event.
And it's completely unpredictable So this is a This is a brilliant outcome for everyone.
Excuse me.
Heart rate 140.
Here we go, sweetheart.
He's beautiful, Ellie.
- Well done.
Congratulations.
- Oh, look at that! - Everything okay? - Yeah.
I didn't realise you had an obstetrics background.
I had a situation like that that didn't turn out so well.
And that's why I teach.
Because I love obstetrics, but I'm I'm not cut out for the front line, you know.
My OBG lecturer, he used to say, "Obstetrics is ninety-nine percent pure joy and one percent pure terror.
" And he was right.
But was he as good looking as me? I'm never having sex with you.
But if I put my moves on you, you wouldn't have a chance.
Like to see you try.
Well, then you'd better have a drink with me.
- Fine.
- Tonight? Oh, you're a chicken! No, I'll have a drink with you.
Only it can't be anywhere where we'll run into people from work.
Or my family.
Or any lesbian bars.
- Okay.
- Okay.
[Alfie.]
She's coming, she's coming! [Jimmy.]
Come here, come here, come here Come here, come here.
- Hey.
- Hey.
I don't understand.
For all the slog we've been doing, we got ourselves caught, okay, so here's my plan.
Let's just go.
Let's take the pressure off ourselves.
Let's grab the kids and go on an adventure.
Let's rediscover ourselves as a family.
Yeah.
Alfie, honey, go inside now.
Please? Yeah? There's going to be some screaming.
Take it back, now, and get a full refund.
What? Why? Ah, leaving aside the The lying and the making of major financial decisions without me, I'm in the middle of a medical degree and I can't just run away.
- I have to study.
- Okay, but You told me everything was good and it's not.
And you said you were gonna come up with a solution, and this is it? Are you out of your mind? Get in.
Oh, no! I think the lift might be broken.
Is it just me, or is it starting to get warm in here? Martin.
- Yes, darling.
- I have to pick up Ray from after school care.
[sombre instrumental music playing.]
But thank you, for making the effort.
[sombre instrumental music continues.]
Wearing these is saying, "Sex is not going to happen.
" But do you want it to happen? But then these ones are maybe too forward.
It's like a definite "yes.
" Oh, come on, Nina, it doesn't have to be this hard.
Just pick a pair of undies and put 'em on.
Okay.
These ones.
Go.
[pop music playing.]
- Suitable location? - Yeah.
- Nina! - No.
Oh, Will! - Hey.
- [Nina.]
Oh! - What are you - Sorry.
No, I'm sorry.
Sorry.
How are you? It's nice to see you.
Are you good? Why are you here? I just finished work.
This is my local.
- Will.
- Angus.
Yes.
This is my, um It's - Brother.
- Yep.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
- Oh.
- This is my sister, Nina.
Can I introduce these guys I work with? This is Tim Nguyen.
- Hello.
- And Franklin Swan.
[Nina.]
Hi.
- Franklin.
- Angus.
- Are you on a date? - Oh, I don't I don't know.
You are.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
- Have fun.
- You, too.
- Do you want to find another bar? - No, we're here now.
- Sure? - Mm.
- Do you want a drink? - Yep.
Vodka.
- [knock on door.]
- [Jimmy.]
Come in.
[door opens.]
It's nice.
Cosy.
Yeah.
Look at this.
I love that.
Is that lemon juice? No, I ran out of lemon juice.
It's lime juice.
With mint, and sugar, and just a dash of white rum.
- Isn't that a mojito? - Mm.
Oh, I wasn't serious about making you pay rent.
Well, I was, but I'm not.
- A caravan.
- Mm.
You know what you've done, don't you? You've done a Darcy.
You realise that? What, you mean, I've been impulsive and short-sighted? No! I mean you've decided that the best thing to do is to gather everyone you love, and put them in a van, and forget about the world.
I could see it.
You're so much like that man sometimes, it makes my heart stop.
But you're not wrong, but your timing's off.
Remember his idea to move to the country and raise alpacas? The alpac-apocalpyse! And the emu farm idea.
- He had so many big ideas.
- Mm.
- To Darcy.
- To Darcy.
[Jimmy.]
I could totally raise alpacas.
Drink's almost finished.
How does sex even happen when it happens? I've nearly finished my drink.
Don't take this too hard, but you haven't seduced me yet.
- I've changed my mind.
- What? I'm not right for you at all.
And you're not right for me.
In what way? Just not right.
Is this a move? Is this one of your moves? I think I can see through your moves.
You want me to be a pantsman.
Well, you're more a collision-in-space man.
Why won't you simply let yourself want what you want? What do you want? I want to kiss you.
And I think you want me to.
The question is, "Will you let me?" Not yet.
I have to call my sister.
Wait.
- Billie.
- Hi, where are you? Toilet in a bar.
You're on a date.
With pantsman? What? The guy overheard you call him that, and you had to try get out of it? How do you know about that? - Doesn't matter.
Go for it.
- You think? Don't you want to? His name's Angus.
- That's a very nice name.
- Should I? Neens, you're the only one who can answer that.
Yes! I'll be home later.
No, don't.
Don't.
I'm barring the door.
Neens, everyone's fine here.
And Neens, have fun.
Okay.
Right.
Sex.
Wait a minute.
[mimicking seal bark.]
That's the man you're about to have sex with? No.
No way.
Wrong.
No.
No way.
This is not happening.
- [Nina.]
Oh.
- Oops.
- Hi.
- Hi.
[upbeat music playing.]
[music increases in tempo.]
You can stay.
No, I-I have to go.
Thank you.
What are you thanking me for? Can I drop you home? No, please, stay there.
- You sure? - Yeah.
[whispers.]
Sorry, I just need to get home.
[upbeat music continues.]
What was that? What just happened? Who is the person who just did that? [Uber driver.]
Nina? Yeah, that's me.
[upbeat music continues.]
Tell me everything.
It's the date that went terribly wrong.
We went out for a drink last night, and we thought something might happen, and then I went home with someone else.
But that wasn't the end of it.
- That's not all.
- There's more? Brace yourselves for the accidental text.
What? What, what did you send? That leaves everyone speachless.
So wht did she send? Can we just forget about what happened?
And he's gone.
Cherie has taken to wearing a towel.
After the shower, but she's never bothered about covering up before.
The majority of Darcy's estate, is invested in Jimmy's taqueria.
I should sell the business I can't risk your money.
And especially not Ray's.
If you don't want to sell your restaurant.
I could invest.
Seventy percent equity.
That might look more like a takeover bid, but I definitely still want you involved.
I'm just going to stop you there, and politely decline your offer.
How's your daughter? Brodie? Where's she? Brodie.
What are you, the social worker? Maybe I have just never understood why anyone would sleep with someone that's been everywhere.
[all.]
Oh, I would.
How do you, you know, turn it off? Turn [lowers voice.]
Your sex off ? Offspring 6x03 "Getting to Know Your" July 13, 2016 Hello.
Hi, Martin.
[loud buzz.]
Oh, for God's sake! Usually in a situation like this, it's simply a matter of applying brute force.
[grunts.]
Oh, for gosh darn! Darn! Is it warm in here all of a sudden? [exhilarating music playing.]
[both groan.]
Oh, yes! [camera shutter clicks.]
Oh yeah! Oh, God! ["When We Swam" playing.]
Oh why, oh why, oh why? Won't you sing? Bring your hips to me Oh, bring your hips Oh, oh, bring your hips to me To me Oh, bring your hips to me Oh, bring your hips Oh, oh, bring your hips to me To me To me Oh why, oh why? Oh why? Won't you sing? Clegg? You had a sex dream about Martin Clegg? Not a sex dream.
A work dream.
- With sex in it.
- Yep.
That's a sex dream.
So do you fancy him? A sex dream doesn't mean that I'm actually subconsciously attracted to Martin.
I'm not.
- Or does it? - What are you doing with my underwear? Organising.
To stay sane on tour, I've been doing this Japanese method.
Simplify, declutter, spark joy.
For instance, do these spark joy? They spark comfort.
So this is your body telling you that it needs sex.
Sex? Neens, it's been a while, let's face it.
How long exactly? Well, I don't know.
Six months.
Seven.
And sex with Leo was never exactly Exactly what? Well, amazing.
I'm just going off what you told me.
I mean, you said something about UGG boots? Yeah, like putting on UGG boots at the end of the day.
You had warm, woolly sex with Leo, and then seven months of nothing.
I dunno, maybe it's time you got out there again.
Oh God, it all just seems too hard.
Sex dreams about Clegg.
I think that's a warning.
That's your body saying, "I crave bodily intimacy even if it's with slightly weird yet compelling beardy man.
" I would not know where to start.
[phone ringing.]
How does sex happen again? Billie Proudman.
Brody who? Nuh, nuh, never heard of her.
Sex? Who with? It's not like there are any contenders.
[Geraldine.]
Crabby? Who's crabby? I'm not crabby.
- There's Alfie.
- [Geraldine.]
Nina! He's calling me crabby.
[Jimmy.]
I'm just saying, since this lemon juice cleanse, you've been on a bit of a short fuse.
Mum, when was the last time you actually ate something? I accidentally ingested some lemon pith yesterday.
Does that count? You know, from a medical point of view, this whole lemon cleansing thing is complete nonsense.
Oh, get off your high horse.
If I want to cleanse myself, then I will fricking well cleanse myself.
I don't care how many fricking lemons it takes Can you tone down the frickings? There's kids! - Why do you think I'm saying "fricking"? - [Nina.]
Mum! Neens, Will wants to have lunch with me and the kids.
- Zoe can totally join that action.
- Sure.
[doorbell rings.]
[Geraldine.]
Answer that fricking door! - Mum! - I'm getting it! - Hey! - Hey.
- Hey.
- Ray! Hey.
- What are you doing here? - Oh, Ray's a bit crook.
Oh, that's no good.
Hey Ray, come on in, man.
- See ya, honey.
- Join the game.
We're going trampolining.
- Ray doesn't look crook.
- I know.
I don't think he's figured out that his mum's a nurse, he can't fool me.
- Okay, so what's wrong with him? - It's a bit full-on at school.
He needs a break from being the kid whose dad died.
Okay.
- Hey, Zara, how're you doing? - Yeah, couldn't be better.
Bye.
Good day.
Thanks, Jimmy.
- [Angus.]
Nina.
- Angus.
I just remembered.
I dreamt about you last night.
Oh, really? A sex dream? No, just a regular dream.
We were fully clothed.
[stutters.]
Sorry, I was just um, I assumed.
- I'd have a sex dream about you? - Yeah! No, no, of course not! It's just It I happened to be thinking about sex dreams because Because What are you doing, Nina? Shut up! I had a sex dream.
Was I in it? No, that's the surprising thing.
Not surprising that you weren't in it.
The surprising thing was is that in my work dream, I was having sex with Martin Clegg.
Morning, Martin.
You had a sex dream? About me? - Yes.
- Well, it's hardly surprising, is it? You know, you'd be fascinated to know it's a reasonably common phenomena around dominant alpha males such as myself.
No doubt you were pleasuring yourself at the time.
- What? No! - Cherie'll be interested in hearing this.
- I don't think Cherie needs to hear this.
- Cheri needs to hear what? Well, Nina's been having erotic dreams about me.
Okay.
One dream.
It was a work dream.
So the sexual activity transpired at work? Well, sort of.
It was in the lift.
We were stuck in the lift.
I think that's a metaphor for Were the doors open? - A little bit.
- Were we watching? Yep.
[gagging.]
Good! Well I'm glad we've all had this time together and now I've got to go and Ah! [new-age instrumental music playing.]
Ah, she's the daughter of an old friend of mine.
A friend? I thought you said she was your aunty.
Well, not "aunty" aunty, but yes.
Anyway, Brody here was picked up for fare evasion on one of our country services.
- Bit of an altercation ensued.
- Yeah, and whose fault was that? Frankly, we should've probably called the cops.
Wish you had, because then I could do you for assault.
We were just trying to encourage her to remove herself from the train.
Assault, interfering with a minor, verbally abusing a minor.
We couldn't release her unless she paid the fine.
So, ah, she gave us your name.
How much is the fine? Two hundred and twenty-three dollars.
How about I pay this fine if you apologise to this gentleman for your rudeness.
Do you want to get out of here or not? Sorry.
Do you take credit card, or do I have to No, just ah, cash.
So, your mum's a Christian now? Born Again.
Well, actually not exactly born again.
I don't know what it is.
Basically when she got out of jail, she moved up to Mullumbimby with this guy she met online.
He's like super into the church.
So she gets me and my brother out of foster care, and we're like, awesome, we're gonna go live in Mullumbimby.
And then we realise it's completely isolated in the middle of nowhere with just cows, and trees and shit.
I take it she doesn't know where you are now? She doesn't care.
She told me to get out.
You know what she's like.
You know you have to call her though, right? What happened? We had this big fight about Jason.
So Jason's your boyfriend? And it's just because he's got kids and stuff.
- So more than one kid? - Two.
And they're so cute.
I've got photos.
- These are his kids.
Cute, huh? - Yep.
Oh, and ah, this is Jason.
Oh, wow, that's impressive ink.
Tatts are hot.
He looks like he's a bit older than you.
He's 19.
Actually he's 23.
I told Mum he was 19.
So where are you going to stay in Melbourne? Someone'll have a couch.
What's the plan after that? I'll probably just get a job.
I want to do childcare, but for, like, famous people.
Brody, I want you to stay with me, Just till you get yourself sorted out.
- Really? - Yeah.
Sweet.
Thanks.
When I say "me," it's actually my sister's place, but she'll be fine.
Actually I should call her.
She's not great with surprises.
- Hi, Billie.
- [Billie.]
I'm going to ask you a favour - Yep.
- and I want you to say yes.
Would it be okay if I had someone to stay, just for a night or two? Billie, can I just call you back? Yep, I'll call you back in a minute.
Neens? You had a sex dream about Martin? - Are you angry? - Oh, no.
Martin's a handsome man.
Ah, exactly! I don't want to have sex with him.
It was just one of those funny things.
I don't think the dream meant anything.
Well, it usually means you need a release.
Find someone to have to do it with.
Well, like who? Hey, what about Angus? That pantsman? Why not? No strings attached.
Oh, not interested.
I'm sure he'd be up for it.
And I reckon pantsmen get a lot of practice.
Never in a billion, trillion years would I have sex with Angus.
Hi, Angus.
Hey, Cherie.
A pantsman? Really? I'm sorry.
That was a terrible and appalling thing to say, and I would never normally describe anyone.
- Like a - Like a pantsman.
- Exactly.
- Mm.
I, um, I'm just gonna Go.
See you, Cherie.
- Was there a reason for your visit? - Yes, there is.
I just wanted to get your okay for my group to observe you on the ward tomorrow.
Of course, yes.
If it's rostered.
Yes, it is.
Thanks.
Oh, and Cherie's right.
We pantsmen, we do.
We get a lot of practice.
Lots.
No, no, no.
He's not someone to focus on for sex.
Bad idea.
No.
But then again, like you said, "Never in a billion, trillion years.
" It's fine.
It'll be fine.
She's, um Seems a bit distracted.
All right.
This can be your room.
[Brody.]
Cool.
- Whose old junk is all this? - Oh, ah, it's mine.
Can't take much to the UK.
Actually, if you, um If you check in this box I think there'll be some clean sheets.
Do you like living in the UK? Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's great.
Hear the weather's pretty bad.
Yeah, it is.
But, um It's, um, I don't know, It's not kind of what stuff you have with you, or where you are, it's who you're with, you know.
That's family, where you are, that's home.
But aren't all your family here? Well, I kind of meant my husband Mick.
Right.
Ah, Nina! I wondered if I might speak to you.
Is it urgent? I can assure you that it's a matter of dire importance.
Right.
Well, in that case, of course.
- Thank you.
- Come on in.
Um Ah, Nina [clears throat.]
I'm concerned that you may have felt that I dealt with your confession this morning a little too lightly.
No, no.
That's fine.
Nina, I assure you I take matters like this very, very seriously.
When an issue like this arises between two professionals in the workplace, I feel the best practice is to examine it, to come at it from all angles, as it were.
- Oh.
- Well, Nina, perhaps just um Perhaps just a few little more details about your little dream, you know? For example, what was I wearing? Martin, I don't really have the time I really need you to do this for me.
What was I wearing? Was it this suit, or was it the charcoal check? - I think the charcoal.
- I knew it.
Yes, I do turn heads when I wear it.
You know, the old charky charcoal.
And the tie? What tie did I team with it? - Martin.
- Yes? What's this about? - What? - Is-Is this about Cherie? What? No, not about Cherie.
Ridiculous! Oh, yes, it's about It's about Cherie.
We're in the doldrums, sexually speaking, and, ah, you know, I mean God, she used to be insatiable.
And You know fluctuations in libido are not uncommon in longterm relationships, obviously.
You know that.
You know God knows there've been times when I've had to decline my own services.
[stutters.]
That's not true.
I've never once said no to her, and I don't think I ever would.
Um So, anyway, about you.
If you, ah, if you need me to service you sexually I'll have to have a word with Cherie about it first.
- Martin - But you need to understand that I couldn't give myself to you completely because my heart belongs to Cherie.
[cries.]
See, you're a good friend, so if you need me to help you, and give you a quick one-two in the downstairs department.
- If you're desperate, I'll help, so - No, I'm not.
I-I don't need a quick one-two.
Thank you.
[melancholy instrumental music playing.]
[laughing.]
So Will's mum is - Marjorie.
- And he's a half-brother.
Exactly.
Just like you and me.
Except he's a wanker.
Oh.
Yeah, he is a bit.
But you know what? We have to feel sorry for Will.
He missed out on Dad.
He didn't get to travel around Australia in a broken down kombi van.
I guess.
He's still a wanker, though.
Woo hoo! Oh! - Pretty cool, huh? - Pretty cool.
- You finished with that? - Yeah.
So, trampolining, great idea.
Yeah, but it's not 1990.
It's not called trampolining anymore.
It's called rebounding.
Hashtag fun fact.
So, business.
How's it going? Had any rethinks? Yes, actually, I'm selling.
Ouch! Well, I don't really have a lot of choice, Will.
My offer still stands.
If you're interested.
Yeah, no, I'm fine, thanks.
Well, up to you.
Your call entirely, mate.
Yep.
All right, all right, all right! Come on! - I'll do my big jump? - [Alfie.]
Yeah, yeah.
I need you to clap for me.
Ready? Ready? Big jump.
Woo hoo! Woo hoo! How's that? That's just unnecessary.
[kids laughing.]
- It was a dream, Kim.
- Yeah, I know.
It's got nothing to do with that.
- What? - Oh.
- [Angus.]
Hey, Kim.
- Hey.
[Nina.]
Oh, great! You know, Angus, some of our recent interactions have left me uncomfortable, given our need to work together.
Oh, yes? I'm talking about the pantsman thing, and the dream.
No need to feel uncomfortable.
Are you afraid that you've revealed too much of yourself? No, no, more that I've misrepresented myself in a way that gives you A clearer view of you, perhaps? I was gonna say the wrong idea.
Oh, okay.
Do you think you see me clearly, do you? I think you keep bringing up this dream stuff because maybe you want to talk about it.
Maybe you want me to be interested.
No.
I'm trying to dispel confusion.
Oh, all right.
Well, apology accepted.
I didn't apologise.
Would you like me to ask you out? No.
I'm trying I want you to accept my apology for the confusion.
You know what? We get one shot at this thing called life.
Once through the universe and that's it.
What? And here we are, together.
Some force, an energy, has drawn us to each other.
So what do we do about it? Don't listen.
Do we act on the attraction? Or not? And if not, I mean, why not? Why not bring some comfort and joy to each other in those brief moments when two people choose to be together? A collision in space.
A collision? We're still on the same floor.
- Did you push the button? - Nope.
Well, that explains that, then.
And I accept your apology.
Do you know what I'm wondering? How many times you've made that speech, and to how many women.
Actually I've never made that speech before.
I just made it up.
Pretty good though, isn't it? Oh, for heaven's sake, you don't have to make such a drama about it all.
I left you to watch them.
With your eyes.
They were all jacked up on sugar and trampolines.
What's going on? While mother was watching the children, Alfie went at Zoe with these.
Oh, he was just pruning her.
[Nina.]
Pruning her? [Geraldine.]
Yes, well, they'd been watching, um, oh, what's his name? That handsome fellow.
Very muscular.
Anyway, whatever.
And he was doing this story about hedges.
- I'm so sorry.
- She's fine.
It's nothing a band-aid won't fix.
You're not meant to let small children play with those things.
Why weren't they out of reach? Making a fuss about it will only create a bigger deal.
What were you doing, while your grand-children were playing with sharp tools? Were you even in the room? - Oh! We can do without the third degree.
- Are you sober? - This is how he talks to me.
- Oh, I think it's a reasonable question.
[baby cooing.]
You know what? I quit.
I am no longer running this childcare service.
I am just so sick and tired of being this family's childcare stop-gap.
It's elder abuse.
That's what Marjorie calls it.
So, do me a favour and take your children, and go and leave me in peace.
Mum, I live here.
Well, make some alternative childcare arrangements.
And start paying rent! - Huh.
- Ah.
- But what did you do to make this happen? - I blame the lemons.
And Will, for the trampolines.
Did you know she felt so taken for granted? Well, I had no idea.
Maybe it's been coming for a while.
[Nina.]
Zoe, it's time to go, darling.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Yeah.
[children laughing.]
Rough day? Yeah.
Yeah, it's not the best time to lose our childcare arrangements.
This next week is so intense.
I've got to go to work.
I'll take Ray home.
Ray.
- I'll see you later.
- Yeah.
- Can we get pizza? - Oh, I've gotta get to work, mate.
Maybe another day? Wait, did Dad used to take you for pizza? Thursday nights, down at the river? Ham and pineapple? Same with me, when I was your age! Dad loved ham and pineapple.
Did you used to sit in a boat but not on the water, on the shore? - Yep.
- Throw crusts to the ducks? Forgot about that.
Come on, let's get pizza.
- There you go, buddy.
- Thank you.
You all right? [serene instrumental music playing.]
Mummy feels like green spaghetti, too.
Want to take your bag off? - Oh, hi.
- Hello.
Um, I'm Brody.
Did Billie not mention me to you? Ah! - She called you.
- She did call.
- Ah, she said I could stay here.
- Yes.
Of course.
Yes.
Yes, you can.
Welcome.
- Where is Billie? - Oh, I think she went to the shops.
Okay.
Well, hello, I'm Nina.
- This is Zoe.
- Hey.
Hi, cutie.
I saw you had a play kitchen in your house.
- Do you like making cakes? - Mm-hmm.
- Like chocolate? - Yes, chocolate! - [Brody.]
Chocolate? You like chocolate? - Mm.
[Brody.]
That sounds fun.
Billie, I'm gonna kill you.
- Hey, did you ever throw a line in? - Yep.
- Ever catch anything? - Caught a pair of undies.
Undies! Wow, I never caught anything that good.
[phone rings.]
Hold that, bro.
Hello.
Jimmy, Bianca Beaufort here.
How are you? Yeah, fine.
Listen, we've had an offer on the taqueria.
150K, walk in, walk out.
How much? 250,000 dollars? No.
No mate, 150K.
One-five-oh.
Are you there? Yeah, I'm still here.
I know it's the first offer, but I think you need to seriously consider it.
They've offered a short settlement to sweeten it.
No, it's too low.
I can't do it.
Mate, I want you to do me a favour and sleep on it.
Have a think.
Talk to your wife.
- Then give me an answer in the morning? - Okay.
Give me a call in the morning first thing.
Everything okay? Yeah, of course.
Come on, we should get to work.
- How's your Spanish? - Terrible.
All you have to say is gracias.
- Gracias.
- Perfect.
You're a waiter.
Come on, let's go.
Zoe, ready? Ready? Zoe, look.
Look! [growls.]
Wait, look.
[door opening.]
[footsteps approaching.]
Hi! Sorry, I got held up.
So you've met Brody? - Mm, yeah, we've met.
- Hi, darling.
I stopped off at Mum's.
That's why I'm late.
Bath time! You ready for a bath? - Nina, would you like me to bath Zoe? - Yes! Brody should do it.
No, no, I can do it.
- Please - She's She's really great with kids.
- She wants to get into childcare.
- [Brody.]
Do you want bubbles? - Who is she? - She's Stacey's daughter.
The eldest.
- Oh.
- These are for you.
For being you.
Billie, is this a good idea? She had a huge fight with Stacey.
She's got nowhere to stay.
They picked her up for fare evasion and she gave them my name.
It's just one or two nights.
[Zoe shouting.]
[Brody.]
You're splashing the water everywhere! She's great.
[Brody.]
Keep the water in the bath.
We're going to scrub [indistinct conversation.]
- [Jason.]
Oi, she came onto me! - [Brody.]
Oh, yeah.
[Jason.]
I've already said I'm sorry once.
- Come on, babe, all right.
- [Brody.]
No, I'm not If you're so sorry, why'd you do it at all? I didn't do nothin'.
She's just making shit up.
Bullshit! Stop lying to me.
You're such a liar.
- I'm not lying to ya.
- You are.
I saw the photos.
I saw the fucking photos.
I had one drink at her house.
Then why is she naked in the photos, huh? - [Jason.]
Bullshit! - [Nina.]
Stop! Stop it! You, get out.
You, get inside.
- Wait, let me talk to her.
- Get out.
- Hey, back off.
- You back off.
Want me to call the cops? - Oh, you want me to deck ya? - Stay inside.
It's Jason, is it? You don't want me to call the cops.
You know why? She's underage.
Mummy! [Billie.]
Don't ever come back.
I'm sorry.
- I know you are.
- You were heading to your bedroom.
- We were just going to talk.
- Oh, bullshit, Brody.
Come on.
I'm really sorry.
I understand that he turned up out of the blue, I understand that you were upset.
But, Brody, I have a toddler in the house.
Do you know it took Nina two hours to get Zoe settled again last night? We're guests here.
I'll go.
No, that You don't have to go.
That's not what we're saying.
[Nina.]
She's young and lost.
And in over her head, just like Billie used to be.
- Babe.
- What? The taqueria, I'm going to sell it.
What are you talking about? Someone made an offer, and I'm going to sell.
Why are you even thinking about selling? Because of Ray.
The taqueria's his inheritance.
Dad loaned me some money - six months ago to - How much? A hundred and fifty grand.
You borrowed $150,000 without telling me? I needed a cash injection.
Dad offered to help.
You told me that the taqueria was doing well.
- I didn't want to stress you.
- The taqueria is our livelihood.
- Without that - It's gonna be okay.
How? We won't have any money.
I suppose I could We could just budget better with the groceries, and swimming lessons are about to start so we can't do that.
I'm going to take care of it.
I'll ask if they can take me back at the hospital.
No, you don't have to do that.
Jimmy.
You told me that we were doing well.
Zara, I promise you, you don't have to worry about this.
This is my problem.
I'm gonna solve it.
Trust me.
Yep.
Obviously.
[Bianca.]
Just at the back there.
It's good to get that sorted, huh? Okay, big push for me now, Ellie.
I can see the baby's head.
- Push! - [Ellie groans.]
[Nina.]
That's it.
Okay, hold off for a second, Ellie.
I want you to lie back down flat.
Don't push until I ask you to.
- Okay, why? - Lie her down flat.
I want you to call time.
The baby's shoulder's stuck.
[panting.]
- We've only got a few minutes.
- NICU team? - [Nina.]
Yeah.
- What's NICU? [Nina.]
It's the intensive care unit.
We might need some help.
Okay, we're just going to try and make a bit of room for your baby's shoulder, okay? You and I are going to focus.
Focus on me, Ellie, okay? We're going to try some more big pushes.
I need help.
Yes, I'm here.
Can you assist Kim? We're going to do the McRoberts' manoeuvre.
Yes, I know it.
Right, now flexing back.
Right back with your hips.
Big push now, Ellie.
Big push.
[Ellie screaming.]
One minute.
[Ellie panting.]
- Suprapubic pressure? - Yes.
Okay, we're going to give it another try now, Ellie.
I just need another pair of hands.
Zara? This time, Angus is going to place some pressure on your belly and try and get that shoulder around, okay? Okay, flexing back, right back.
- And push.
- [Ellie screaming.]
Push.
And push.
[Ellie continues screaming.]
- Theatreâs standing by.
- [Kim.]
Two minutes.
Okay, we're going to give it one more go.
And deep breath, Ellie.
Deep breath.
And push! [Ellie grunting.]
Really big push.
[Ellie continues grunting.]
Here it comes.
The shoulder's free.
[Angus.]
Oh, thank God.
[Nina.]
All right, here he comes.
Slow it down, slow it down.
I want you to give me a couple of little pushes, okay? Little push, little push.
- That's it, here he comes.
- [baby cries.]
Here he comes.
Oh, we have our boy.
[Ellie crying.]
[Nina.]
Here we go.
Well done, Ellie.
Well done, everyone.
Come here.
We'll check him out now, okay? Shoulder dystocia is, ah It's a challenging and frightening event.
And it's completely unpredictable So this is a This is a brilliant outcome for everyone.
Excuse me.
Heart rate 140.
Here we go, sweetheart.
He's beautiful, Ellie.
- Well done.
Congratulations.
- Oh, look at that! - Everything okay? - Yeah.
I didn't realise you had an obstetrics background.
I had a situation like that that didn't turn out so well.
And that's why I teach.
Because I love obstetrics, but I'm I'm not cut out for the front line, you know.
My OBG lecturer, he used to say, "Obstetrics is ninety-nine percent pure joy and one percent pure terror.
" And he was right.
But was he as good looking as me? I'm never having sex with you.
But if I put my moves on you, you wouldn't have a chance.
Like to see you try.
Well, then you'd better have a drink with me.
- Fine.
- Tonight? Oh, you're a chicken! No, I'll have a drink with you.
Only it can't be anywhere where we'll run into people from work.
Or my family.
Or any lesbian bars.
- Okay.
- Okay.
[Alfie.]
She's coming, she's coming! [Jimmy.]
Come here, come here, come here Come here, come here.
- Hey.
- Hey.
I don't understand.
For all the slog we've been doing, we got ourselves caught, okay, so here's my plan.
Let's just go.
Let's take the pressure off ourselves.
Let's grab the kids and go on an adventure.
Let's rediscover ourselves as a family.
Yeah.
Alfie, honey, go inside now.
Please? Yeah? There's going to be some screaming.
Take it back, now, and get a full refund.
What? Why? Ah, leaving aside the The lying and the making of major financial decisions without me, I'm in the middle of a medical degree and I can't just run away.
- I have to study.
- Okay, but You told me everything was good and it's not.
And you said you were gonna come up with a solution, and this is it? Are you out of your mind? Get in.
Oh, no! I think the lift might be broken.
Is it just me, or is it starting to get warm in here? Martin.
- Yes, darling.
- I have to pick up Ray from after school care.
[sombre instrumental music playing.]
But thank you, for making the effort.
[sombre instrumental music continues.]
Wearing these is saying, "Sex is not going to happen.
" But do you want it to happen? But then these ones are maybe too forward.
It's like a definite "yes.
" Oh, come on, Nina, it doesn't have to be this hard.
Just pick a pair of undies and put 'em on.
Okay.
These ones.
Go.
[pop music playing.]
- Suitable location? - Yeah.
- Nina! - No.
Oh, Will! - Hey.
- [Nina.]
Oh! - What are you - Sorry.
No, I'm sorry.
Sorry.
How are you? It's nice to see you.
Are you good? Why are you here? I just finished work.
This is my local.
- Will.
- Angus.
Yes.
This is my, um It's - Brother.
- Yep.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
- Oh.
- This is my sister, Nina.
Can I introduce these guys I work with? This is Tim Nguyen.
- Hello.
- And Franklin Swan.
[Nina.]
Hi.
- Franklin.
- Angus.
- Are you on a date? - Oh, I don't I don't know.
You are.
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
- Have fun.
- You, too.
- Do you want to find another bar? - No, we're here now.
- Sure? - Mm.
- Do you want a drink? - Yep.
Vodka.
- [knock on door.]
- [Jimmy.]
Come in.
[door opens.]
It's nice.
Cosy.
Yeah.
Look at this.
I love that.
Is that lemon juice? No, I ran out of lemon juice.
It's lime juice.
With mint, and sugar, and just a dash of white rum.
- Isn't that a mojito? - Mm.
Oh, I wasn't serious about making you pay rent.
Well, I was, but I'm not.
- A caravan.
- Mm.
You know what you've done, don't you? You've done a Darcy.
You realise that? What, you mean, I've been impulsive and short-sighted? No! I mean you've decided that the best thing to do is to gather everyone you love, and put them in a van, and forget about the world.
I could see it.
You're so much like that man sometimes, it makes my heart stop.
But you're not wrong, but your timing's off.
Remember his idea to move to the country and raise alpacas? The alpac-apocalpyse! And the emu farm idea.
- He had so many big ideas.
- Mm.
- To Darcy.
- To Darcy.
[Jimmy.]
I could totally raise alpacas.
Drink's almost finished.
How does sex even happen when it happens? I've nearly finished my drink.
Don't take this too hard, but you haven't seduced me yet.
- I've changed my mind.
- What? I'm not right for you at all.
And you're not right for me.
In what way? Just not right.
Is this a move? Is this one of your moves? I think I can see through your moves.
You want me to be a pantsman.
Well, you're more a collision-in-space man.
Why won't you simply let yourself want what you want? What do you want? I want to kiss you.
And I think you want me to.
The question is, "Will you let me?" Not yet.
I have to call my sister.
Wait.
- Billie.
- Hi, where are you? Toilet in a bar.
You're on a date.
With pantsman? What? The guy overheard you call him that, and you had to try get out of it? How do you know about that? - Doesn't matter.
Go for it.
- You think? Don't you want to? His name's Angus.
- That's a very nice name.
- Should I? Neens, you're the only one who can answer that.
Yes! I'll be home later.
No, don't.
Don't.
I'm barring the door.
Neens, everyone's fine here.
And Neens, have fun.
Okay.
Right.
Sex.
Wait a minute.
[mimicking seal bark.]
That's the man you're about to have sex with? No.
No way.
Wrong.
No.
No way.
This is not happening.
- [Nina.]
Oh.
- Oops.
- Hi.
- Hi.
[upbeat music playing.]
[music increases in tempo.]
You can stay.
No, I-I have to go.
Thank you.
What are you thanking me for? Can I drop you home? No, please, stay there.
- You sure? - Yeah.
[whispers.]
Sorry, I just need to get home.
[upbeat music continues.]
What was that? What just happened? Who is the person who just did that? [Uber driver.]
Nina? Yeah, that's me.
[upbeat music continues.]
Tell me everything.
It's the date that went terribly wrong.
We went out for a drink last night, and we thought something might happen, and then I went home with someone else.
But that wasn't the end of it.
- That's not all.
- There's more? Brace yourselves for the accidental text.
What? What, what did you send? That leaves everyone speachless.
So wht did she send? Can we just forget about what happened?