Offspring (2010) s06e04 Episode Script
Fallout
1 Brody, I want you to stay with me, for a few days.
Sweet.
Thanks.
If you don't want to sell your restaurant.
I could invest.
You? What were you doing Mum, while your grand-children were playing with sharp tools? You know what? I quit.
- Huh.
- Ah.
I am no longer running this childcare service.
You told me everything was good and it's not good.
And you said you were gonna come up with a solution, and this is it? Are you out of your mind? Yes, it's about It's about Cherie.
We're in the doldrums, sexually speaking, So this is your body telling you that it needs sex.
Neens, it's been a while, let's face it.
How long exactly? Well, I don't know.
Six months.
Seven.
Why won't you simply let yourself want what you want? What do you want? I want to kiss you.
You're on a date.
With pantsman? What? - Go for it.
- You think? - [Nina.]
Oh.
- Oops.
What just happened? [exhales sharply.]
Do it, do it, do it.
Wake up, Mummy! [Nina shudders.]
Oh, look, you're awake.
Do you want to go finish your breakfast, sweetie? Tell me everything.
[Nina.]
Ow.
Billie, help.
Oh, what, was the sex really bad? No, the sex was great.
It was really great, too great.
Oh, it was amazingly great.
So, what's the problem? Angus.
So what if you guys had a one night stand? It'll take care of itself.
And you know, if you're embarrassed at work, you can utilise the Sexual History Rewrite Act.
- Sorry, what? - In the event of a one night stand, in order to save face, there's an unstated agreement between two parties that it's perfectly alright that on first contact post-sexual interaction, you can pretend that it never happened.
And when one person plays this card, the other must follow suit, pretending that it never happened, thus rewriting your combined sexual history.
I didn't go home with Angus.
No, you don't do it with me, you do it with him, today.
First contact.
I'm saying I didn't have sex with Angus, last night, or, at all.
Yes, you did.
I spoke to you, late, in the bathroom.
You said, "I'm going home with Angus" in an immediate sense.
And then I went home with Franklin.
- Who's Franklin? - Exactly.
Where was Angus? In the bar, right there, watching me go home with Franklin.
I'm not sure if that's his first name or his last name.
Can we just talk about why I might have done that? - That's not all.
- There's more? After I left Franklin I got into an Uber, and I was texting Angus to just say, "well, you know, I'm sorry about that.
" I was trying to work out how to apologise to him, and it just slipped out of my hand.
And [exclaims in disgust.]
What? What did you send? [yelps.]
["When We Swam" playing.]
Oh why, oh why, oh why? Won't you sing? Bring your hips to me Oh, bring your hips Oh, oh, bring your hips to me To me Oh, bring your hips to me Oh, bring your hips Oh, oh, bring your hips to me To me To me Oh why, oh why? Oh why won't you sing? Offspring 6x04 "Fallout" July 20, 2016 - I made a love heart! - Oh, that's a beautiful love heart.
I don't want to go to work today.
Yes, it's messy, but, it's just one night of your life, right? It doesn't define you.
Doesn't have to happen again.
It's just a book with one chapter.
It was open.
You read it quickly.
Now it's shut.
Alright, darling, bye bye.
Have a lovely day.
Oh, I love you.
No, I can't face Angus.
You're single, remember? You're completely unattached.
All you have to do is own it.
"Yes, I did that.
That was me.
Moving on.
" Nothing can stick to you.
Angus is just a fluffy white egg and you're a Teflon pan.
- Be a non-stick pan? - Rise above it.
- Rise above the pan? - Go.
You will not apologise for a little bit of uncharacteristic stranger s-e-x with a text-regret chaser.
- I will not.
- No.
I am so sorry.
Well, you've been my sister for such a short time and you've already slept with someone from my work.
Yes, it's not how I thought my night was going to pan out, either.
I really didn't expect to see you in that bar.
Ah, well, Franklin got a promotion.
We were out celebrating.
- But, I'm sure you covered all that.
- No, he didn't.
Um, can we just not talk about last night? Sure, sure.
It's just that I would never do something like this.
You don't know me very well and maybe you're thinking, "oh, this is normal," but, people that know me are stunned.
Or, they would be, if I told them.
Well, I just, I just thought maybe you want the rundown on Franklin? - Oh.
- You told me that you were No, I'm begging you not to talk about it, actually.
Well, I have some news.
Oh, I'd love to hear your news.
I bought the taqueria.
Oh, wow, that's great.
Jimmy must be so relieved.
Good.
I was hoping you'd say that.
I think he will be.
Well, I hope so.
What? Jimmy doesn't know? I need you to help me tell him.
Oh.
No, not me.
Hang on, you bought the taqueria from Jimmy, and Jimmy doesn't know? - Isn't your name on the contract? - Company name.
Why would you do that? He was selling it for nothing.
I saved it.
It's a family business now.
It'll be great.
Jimmy and me, two brothers, in business.
Like Clooney and Pitt, you know? Oceans Eleven, all that.
Our Dad just died.
Jimmy's broken.
He won't be able to handle this.
What should I do? Can you get rid of it? You did a bad thing.
So did you.
Alfie, I don't care whether or, not you wear underwear to daycare, but, your teacher seems to, so we're going to go with that, okay? [baby crying.]
Hi.
Lunches are made, water bottles, spare clothes.
Sleeping bags are packed.
All that I ask is that the three of you wear pants.
In you pop.
It's from Geraldine.
"Gone to Amsterdam.
Jimmy, don't forget to pick up Dad's ashes.
" - Amsterdam? - Yeah, she admires their drug laws.
Mum had been on this detox, and then she hadn't eaten anything for days until she sat down with a jug of Mojito and books the next flight to Amsterdam.
Why, why is it daytime? It's sunny in London When I think of you - What? - [Zoe.]
Fire! Fire! Fire! He's here! Mick's here! Fire! Fire! Fire! Oh, it's you! It's really you! We said, never more than three weeks apart.
I love that rule.
- I'm a man of my word.
- I can't believe you're here.
[Zoe.]
Fire! Fire! Fire! [Nina.]
Angus.
Right, this is it.
Excuse me.
Morning, Nina.
[Nina.]
Don't make it bigger than it is.
That was a mistake.
Listen, Angus, I shouldn't have left you there.
[Nina.]
You don't need to explain yourself.
Just keep it nice.
Light.
I - You? - I I fu Can we just forget about what happened? I don't really want anyone here to know.
News spreads quickly.
Well I can see how you might not want anyone to know about your night, but, I have nothing to tell.
I went into the bathroom to arrange babysitting with my sister, and I came back out and you were flirting with two women.
What? Flirting? Talking.
[imitating bleating.]
That was my dolphin joke! You were in the bathroom for half an hour.
I got bored.
I was on the phone.
So, I'm telling a harmless joke about a sea mammal, to some folks nearby, and you're suddenly angry with me because why? Don't turn this around on me.
I thought it was going well.
The signs looked promising.
Until you flicked a switch and changed.
I only flicked my switch when you flicked yours.
Well, this is all very convenient for you to believe that I was flirting with those women.
But, even if I was, you can't play that card on me, because you went off and had sex with someone else.
You don't know that.
[scoffs.]
Okay, how about we just agree to believe what we want to believe.
Alright.
Well, I agree to believe the truth.
Angus.
Alright.
Perhaps, I wasn't behaving as my best self toward the end of the evening, I'll give you that.
But, ultimately, I saw who you really are with those two women and I am grateful that I pulled out when I did.
You are not going to add me to your list of conquests.
Which particular planet are you on? The only person who did any conquering last night was you.
[Nina.]
That went so much better in my head.
Hospital administration have brought in a photographer to take portraits of all the employees for the website.
But, Clegg has frozen.
Can we bounce something into his irises? Give them an artificial sense of life? All he's giving us are dead eyes.
What's wrong with him? [Cherie.]
I lost by libido.
He lost his mojo.
And you don't know where to find it.
Well, we tried everything to get it back.
Naked tennis, tongue to foot stimulation, foot to tongue, dinner with pants, dinner without.
Upside down kissing, role playing, horse-riding, nipple tweaking.
Nothing works.
Role playing, Neens.
How about that? [Nina scoffs.]
There's something going on between Nina and Angus.
- You are so wrong about that.
- I'm never wrong.
You're blushing! Well, it's hot.
I'm hot in here.
It's a temperature controlled 23 degrees and you're bang on average.
Spill.
We went out for a drink last night, and we thought something might happen, and then middle middle middle, I went home with someone else.
If I'm blushing it's because I had unexpected, incredible sex, by mistake, with someone that I don't know.
- But, I'm single.
- Mmm.
I haven't done anything wrong.
I haven't hurt anyone.
It's fine, right? I'm single.
That is not what I thought you were going to say at all.
Not in a million years.
Wish I hadn't told anyone.
Don't tell anyone else.
No.
Lips are sealed.
[Cleo.]
Next! [cellphone ringing.]
[Nina.]
Jimmy? Good.
Tell him about the taqueria.
- Jimmy.
- Hey, I just picked up Dad.
He's right here beside me.
It feels really good to have him in the car, you know? It just feels right.
Oh, and as soon as I put his seatbelt on, my phone rang and guess who it was? Mick! He's back.
We're having dinner at mum's tonight.
[stammers.]
Everyone's gonna come.
Hey.
Neens, hang on, I'm gonna call you back.
[Nina.]
Maybe not your moment to tell him.
Oh.
City, yeah? So, I said, "No.
" No, I'm not having a Pergola.
"Give me a Rotunda.
" I'm sorry to say it but, at least now he knows what I want.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
No.
You go.
So, how was your day? Oh, yeah, yeah.
Really cool, you know? Well, actually, not so cool.
I I was forced to sell my business recently.
Uh, I don't know if you've heard of it, Jimmy's Tacos? [muttering affirmatively.]
Um, my dad died recently.
[phone ringing.]
- I was kind of - Hello.
Yes, that's me.
Uh, what do you mean you're waiting for me? I'm I'm in you.
Can you hold on a sec? Are you not an uber? No.
Why did you pick me up? - Well, you just got in my car.
- You nodded at me! - You nodded at me first! - Well, can you just pull over? - Oh, my god.
- I can drop you in the city on the way, if you want.
It's right in my - Yeah! - in my way.
Oh, yeah, sure.
I mean, that's what all the psychos say.
- Just pull over now! - I'm not a psycho! - You're the psycho.
You got in my car! - Oh, my god! Are you still there? Yeah.
I know.
Just Very funny, dad.
[Nina.]
Have I misjudged Angus? That's brilliant.
I love it.
Thanks.
[Nina.]
Nuh, he's a pantsman.
And you almost fell for the charm.
[Angus.]
Next! Climb aboard the Flirt train! Everybody say Pantsman! [All.]
Pantsman! This is what you do, Nina.
This is exactly what you do.
- Leo? - You went on a date with a pantsman, and you got annoyed with him for being a pantsman, so you went home with some guy you don't even know just to teach him a lesson! Talk about an over-correction.
Well I can't be with someone who can't commit.
You can't commit! Yes, I can.
Then stop trying to control who we are by labelling us under âP' for Pantsman or âB' for Boring in Bed.
- I never said you were boring in bed.
- See, you're looking for the one who you can't label.
Who defies all your tricks and reasonings.
But, guess what? He doesn't exist! Because, spoiler alert, the only people who exist in the real world are real people.
- Franklin seems nice.
- Good luck with that.
What are you even doing here, Leo? Sorry.
Shouldn't have done that.
- Next.
- Thanks.
I I've got a patient now so I'll have to come back.
[whispering.]
We did it.
She's asleep.
[Brody.]
Billie! We're out of cereal! [Billie.]
Brody, you're up.
Mick's here.
He surprised me from London.
I've heard a lot about you, Mick.
- Not too much.
- Quite a lot.
Just just the right amount.
It's really nice to meet you, Brody.
So how long are you staying? How long's he staying? You know we're married, right? I just want to know how long I've got before I'm out on my arse.
You're not going anywhere.
I can't anyway.
I don't know where my jeans are.
Well, have you tried the dryer? No.
Isn't she great? [high-pitched voice.]
What is this? Oh, I've been leaving her little love bombs all around the house, trying to build up her self-esteem.
I'm trying to give her the one thing she hasn't had her whole life, unconditional adoration.
Oh, speaking of unconditional adoration We could take two minutes in the bedroom and conceivably be arguing.
That's not as crazy as your other ideas.
[Zoe.]
Aunty Billie! Okay, maybe just un uncross your arms.
That's it.
Just yep, relax a bit.
Yep, a smile? Open mouth? That's it.
Lovely.
Just relax into it.
Yeah, that's beautiful.
Okay, quick.
I told Brody to walk around the block and come back.
I don't want them crossing roads.
[Mick groans.]
Oh God, a sippy cup! [Mick.]
This is no good.
No good! - Too many toys.
- The toys! Go go.
- Yeah.
Okay? - Okay.
Okay, yep.
- I don't I can't reach - I can make that work.
- Yep, yep.
Okay.
- That's good.
- Yep, that's good.
- Alright? - Yeah.
- Here? Now? [doorbell rings.]
[Mick groans.]
What now? [both sighing.]
[Mick.]
Damn, gotta get my pants - [Billie.]
Yeah? - Okay.
Here, hold Dad.
[both grunting.]
Missed you too, brother.
Dad was a very tall man.
Are you sure he's all in here? Don't shake him! - Why? - I don't like it.
Feeling a bit forced.
You're just straining your mouth like you're scared or, something.
No.
Hey.
Why don't you think about the hot sex you had last night? How do you know about that? Sex face makes the best face.
- Yes.
- [Zara.]
You're welcome.
That's it! I just love what you're doing with your face.
[phone vibrating.]
Sorry, just [Geraldine.]
Thanks for letting me hide at your house till tonight.
I've booked your taxi already.
My flight's to Amsterdam's so late.
Wow.
Will looks so much like Darcy in this photograph.
He does.
[Geraldine.]
He's so handsome.
He's gorgeous.
And that look.
It's exactly the same.
God, there was a time when he could take anybody with that look.
- Cheeky wine? - Why not.
- Joint? - Definitely.
[phone ringing.]
Oh, I never answer the home phone.
Always someone wanting something.
[Marjorie.]
My thoughts exactly.
[phone continues to ring.]
[whistles.]
- Nina.
- Martin.
Ah, how do I put this? It appears that Cherie's libido situation has indirectly, through me, - impacted on your life.
- What? The Hospital Administrator has requested permission to use your image as the face of the hospital.
My face? Shouldn't it be your face? - They said I don't have the right face.
- On what grounds? Wrong face.
Apparently my image makes it appear as if I am a convicted serial killer.
[scoffs.]
You're exaggerating.
[yelps.]
You're not exaggerating! So, permission granted? Permission granted.
Oh, Angus.
You said we wouldn't tell anyone.
And you've told everyone.
Sorry.
I did only tell Kim and Cherie and Zara, and Elvis, âcause he was there.
I'm I'm just a bit confused and I feel bad.
It's It's far more embarrassing for me than it is for you.
[stammers.]
How is this not embarrassing for me? - We went out on a date - A drink.
We went out for a drink and then you left me there for someone else.
Well let's not forget that you were about to do exactly the same thing to me with those two women.
[scoffs.]
No matter how many times I defend myself, you've got this weird entrenched view of me.
Sorry, I don't have to explain myself to you.
- Oh, don't you? - Hey, last night you said to me, "I'm not right for you, so we should just accept that.
" Okay, I accept it.
Okay.
I'm not this guy that you think I am.
[cellphone beeps.]
- Is that him? - [Nina.]
Say no.
Yes.
You think I'm a pantsman.
I'm not.
You're a pantslady.
Oh my god.
He's right.
Brody, what's wrong? [crying.]
I've ruined everything.
I told Jason that I didn't want to see him anymore.
I really did.
But, he just kept on texting and I forgot about your pot.
It's not important.
Yes, it is.
You're just saying that! This isn't about the pot.
Come on, what is it? I miss my Mum.
But, I don't want my Mum.
[whimpering.]
You're not on your own anymore.
This is really disgusting.
[moaning.]
You're six centimetres.
You're dilating very quickly, which is a good thing.
Only six? I can't do this for much longer.
Six is good.
Six is great.
Things can accelerate really quickly.
You're doing a great job, Sophie.
[Sophie moans.]
We're all on hand to help you get this baby out and into your arms as soon as possible.
This is Labor 101.
Keep the fluids up.
If the mother becomes dehydrated then you're gonna risk the body going into shock.
Kim, what does Nina look like? She's colourful and flowing.
Sometimes slightly emotionally constipated, but, not today.
Today she looks radiant.
Kim was just telling me about her modelling career.
Are you as tanned or, as tall as she is? Uh, no.
Would you mind if I felt your face, Nina? Of course.
Note the change in the mother's demeanour, and the shift in the timing of the contractions.
This could be an early sign of transition.
[Sophie.]
Good facial structure.
Good bones.
- [Sophie moans.]
- Thank you.
[Sophie moans.]
- [Sophie moans.]
- That's it.
[phone ringing.]
[phone continues to ring.]
Maybe you should answer it.
It might be an emergency.
It's not.
See, I'm having I'm having a little trouble with a neighbour, because I happen to park in the visitor's spot.
Sometimes.
Well are you parked in the visitor's spot now? I am.
Well, I find it much easier to park in 'cause my spot's so filled with my own - rubbish.
- Oh, answer it! [phone ringing.]
Hello.
Noah, it's you, isn't it? Yeah, I know who you are, apartment five.
Yes, well, actually I've got news for you.
Today I happen to have a visitor.
And what better place to transport her to than the visitor's spot in our very own car-park.
[restrained screaming.]
That's it, push.
That's it, now hold off.
That's good.
I'm right here, Sophie.
- Okay.
- You're so close.
You're so close.
Okay, when I squeeze your hand, I want you to push.
The harder I squeeze, the more you push.
Deep breath in.
[moans.]
You ready? And push.
[grunting.]
Good.
Give me a push.
Push really hard.
Really, really hard.
[screaming.]
Push push push.
Go go go go! Oh, here she is.
Here she is.
- Oh, she's beautiful! - [baby crying.]
[Sophie.]
What does she look like? She's perfect.
She couldn't possibly be more beautiful.
[Sophie.]
Nina, can she see? [Nina.]
I'm just going to check for you now.
She's looking right at you.
- How was today? - Terrible.
- Were you Teflon? - No, I was the opposite of that.
Sticky.
Burnt.
Angus called me a pants lady, and Will's given my phone number to Franklin and he's texting me.
Who are you and what have you done with my sister? I am genuinely, genuinely confused about myself.
- Nina! - Oh, Mick! Hi.
I am I'm so sorry I wasn't here for the funeral.
Oh, it's alright.
You would have been there if you could.
[Nina.]
Oh, shit! Will! The taqueria.
Jimmy! I completely forgot.
I know it's killing him but, I can't help it.
Have you ever had a loss of libido? Oh, I'm the wrong person to ask.
I have the libido of a Sydney gay man in March trapped inside a straight lady bits body.
So [phone beeps.]
Franklin.
Ignore it.
Just ignore it.
Focus on Jimmy.
[Cherie.]
So, what you're saying is never? Mick and I haven't been able to satisfy that part of ourselves since we were in London three weeks ago, so are libidos are exceptionally high at the moment.
We're at ravenous.
So what's stopping you? Every single member of this family.
Yeah, let's pretend I never asked.
[phone beeps.]
Oh, whoa, is that what I think it is? Yep, that's unmistakably [indistinct chatter.]
Okay, so I need to send something back.
Come on Nina, you can do it.
It's not that hard.
It's easy.
It's simple.
Everyone's doing it.
Just one little picture.
Is this really who you are now? What are you doing? Stop this! ["You're no good" playing.]
You're no good, you're no good, You're no good Baby you're no good I'm gonna say it again, You're no good You're no good, you're no good Baby, you're no good [Zara.]
I bought your favourite cheese.
Double brie.
[indistinct chatter.]
[glass clinking.]
[Jimmy.]
Mick, since Dad died, things haven't felt right, but seeing you back at this table is the closest to normal we've been.
And that makes me think everything's going to be okay.
To Darcy.
- Cheers.
- To Darcy.
- Cheers.
Darcy.
- Darcy.
Dad played a trick on me today.
I was driving him home from the crematorium and this lady jumped into my car.
She thought I was an Uber.
I thought it was a sign.
Dad was telling me, "Jimmy, you've got no money," you've got a car.
You should drive an Uber.
And so that's what I'm gonna do.
Once again making major decisions without me.
No, it's not a life choice, it's not a career.
It just means that we can put our family in the centre of our world for a while.
Jimmy, you don't have to do that.
Your ideas will come back.
No, I want to.
It's perfect.
Jimmy, You don't need to drive an Uber.
No! [Will.]
It was me.
I bought the taqueria.
I tried to stop you from selling but, you wouldn't let me.
I new you needed the cash so I made sure you got your short settlement.
I I wanted to help.
So you bargained me down so you could buy it off me? You prick.
My business partner did the deal.
I didn't want to get involved.
That's all too close.
Too close to what? - Family.
- Oh Jimmy, I think at the time he thought he was doing the right thing.
Did you know about this? Why didn't you tell me? I I don't have an answer for that.
Neens a bit distracted today because last night she went on a date with a guy from her work but, then she went home with a completely different guy she didn't even know from Will's work, and now he's texting her.
That's not information anyone needs to know.
[cellphone vibrating.]
Okay, what the hell is going on here? - I haven't got to the best bit yet.
- I don't want to hear it.
- Yeah, you do.
- No, and you know what? It's off.
The taqueria's no longer for sale.
You can't have it.
I will tear up every contract I have, I will call my lawyer right now.
No way.
Too late.
Too late.
Nina suggested that you might - No! - Be upset and that I should get rid of it.
So I did.
I on-sold it to a contact I have in Hong Kong.
I was lucky.
I was very lucky.
[chuckles.]
[Nina.]
What'd you do, Nina? You made a profit? Yeah, even I was impressed.
I want to split it with you.
That's the best bit I was talking about before.
[Cherie.]
How much? Stay seated.
I am seated.
How much? Forty K.
Whoa.
Oh.
I don't want your dirty money.
Do not take that as a final comment from us.
Listen to Zara.
Don't let business be personal, Jimmy.
You keep letting your ego get in the way of making good decisions.
I don't need business advice from you, thanks.
- It's not advice.
Just saying.
- And I'm just saying stop talking.
Jimmy, take the money.
You don't know what a gift horse looks like when you see one.
Yeah, I know it doesn't look like you.
- Yes, it does! - That's enough! What are you, eight years old? Stop competing with Jimmy.
I'm not! He's competing with me! Actually, this is my family.
You get out.
Don't worry, I'm going.
[phone beeps.]
Sorry.
I don't understand.
How could he get so much for it, and and why couldn't we find that buyer in Hong Kong? Maybe we got bad advice.
Hey, hey.
I'm supposed to be a businessman but, who am I kidding? Will is the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
No, he is he is worse than that.
He is worst on worst.
- Jimmy.
- What? You've got something Will could never have.
- You? - No.
- Oh.
- I was gonna say ideas.
Will can wheel and deal in other people's ideas but, he doesn't have them.
Your ideas will come back.
It's just a bad patch.
It'll pass.
But can I have you? Are you going to stop making enormous decisions without me and come in from that stupid caravan? I know what I need to do.
- Sell the caravan.
- No.
If I can just refocus my energy on being bigger and better than Will, I know my ideas will come back.
I just want to do something I can rub his face in.
- Revenge.
- Mmm.
- I get it.
- Mmm.
- It's healthy.
- Mmm.
I'm sorry, it's just so weird.
Zoe could hear us.
[both sighing.]
We're in a house full of people who don't sleep.
What we need is middle of the night sex.
Sex where no one can hear us.
Is that a a thing? It'd be like deep sleep sex.
Be like a meeting of our subconscious minds.
Yeah.
Count me in.
[phone vibrates.]
[Nina.]
Meet me? Am I gonna go there again? She's safe here with Billie.
I'll leave a note.
No.
Am I a 2 am girl? I can be.
For tonight, anyway.
You are allowed a sex life.
Be Teflon.
Be a non-stick pan.
[moaning.]
[moaning continues.]
[Billie.]
Yeah.
[Billie moans.]
[Billie.]
Oh, yeah.
Mmm-hmm.
Yeah.
- [Billie moans.]
- [Mick.]
Okay.
[Billie.]
Ooh, stop.
[Billie.]
Okay, go.
Oh.
- [Billie.]
Faster.
- [Mick.]
Yeah.
- [Billie.]
Faster.
Stop.
- [Mick moans.]
[Mick moans.]
Yeah.
[Billie.]
Slowly.
Slowly.
Oh, pick it up.
Ooh, oh.
Pick it up, pick it up.
Oh! [moans.]
Nina? Keep going.
Gerry.
Gerry, you've missed your flight.
No, no, the taxi came.
I just I've never been to Europe without Darcy before and the more I kept thinking about it, the more I could see his face smiling at me.
Just grinning, like nothing had happened, you know? There's a gaping big hole where Darcy used to be, and I can't ignore it.
I don't want to go to Amsterdam without Darcy.
I I don't want to go home, either.
What do I do? You stay here.
We pretend that we're going on holiday.
We don't even need to leave the house.
No one will see you.
We can order in the food and the booze, we'll get drunk and stoned.
It'll be just like Amsterdam, except that instead of looking at men on bikes we can check them out on the Internet.
And then at the end of the two weeks, I will drive you home, relaxed, rested, to your family.
They'll never even need to know.
Really? Thank you, Marjorie.
I think you'll be happy here, Dad.
What are you actually doing? Oh.
Can't sleep? Nah, not after your interruption.
[sighs.]
- You okay? - Yep.
Nope.
[Nina giggles.]
You've just caught me in the middle of doing something very foolish.
And the voice inside my head is telling me what an idiot I am so you don't have to.
Oh, come on.
2 AM foolish is pretty common.
What am I doing, Mick? You know, I feel like I've landed in a parallel universe.
Darcy's gone, Jimmy's taking advice from his ashes.
Geraldine has run away, Zara's hiding, Billie is fostering dubious street kids, Cherie's lost her libido, you've, you know, clearly found yours.
Everyone's coping in their own way.
You've lost your anchor.
You know, you're hurting, Nina.
But, I don't think you should be worried.
This isn't the real you.
Isn't it? You just miss your Dad.
Do you think Billie's okay? I don't think she's coming back to London with me.
Oh.
[Nina bursts into laughter.]
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't be smiling.
No, of course I get it.
You need her, she needs you.
She's happy here.
There's this light in her eyes when she's home.
It's just not there on tour.
There's a light on tour.
There's lots of light.
I put the light into London.
[phone vibrates.]
Is that your 2 AM foolish? Is it? Shut up.
- Gonna do that? - I'm going to bed.
I'm going to let him know I'm not coming.
You're not coming back with me.
It's only six months.
[knocking at door.]
[Nina.]
Is that Brody? It's 2 AM! Come in.
[phone ringing.]
[groans.]
- Hello? - Marjorie, your car is still blocking the parking space.
I don't care about your parking space.
You're not Marjorie.
No, I'm a visitor.
I'm sorry, you're innocent.
It's an ongoing issue.
Marjorie makes it difficult for other residents.
What are you - wearing? - What am I wearing? That's a very fresh question.
Right now a jumper and not much else.
Really? [Nina.]
Look at you.
You're perfect.
I don't need to go anywhere else, because you're right here.
I'm not a 2 AM girl.
I'm a nice restaurant kind of girl.
Wine, dessert, romance, daytime.
That's the kind of girl I am.
Silly Mummy.
I am silly.
That's why Mummy's never going out, ever, ever, ever again.
Doctor Nina Proudman, face of the future, mother of gorgeous child.
Loving daughter, attentive, apologetic sister, happily single, respected obstetrician.
We have a sizable problem.
Is that code for good news? A patient has gone public with a video supposedly containing damning evidence of staff negligence here at St.
Francis.
It's been posted to various online sites.
Apparently it's going viral.
The Medical Board are trying to have it removed.
That seems to be an impossible task.
Have you seen the video? [Nina.]
Wait a minute.
This is not happening.
[news reader.]
Is this Australia's worst hospital? - Neens, you're on telly.
- What.
Nina is at the centre of a work scandal.
It's a really nice photo.
My face was just on the news.
Get Ready.
First step will be to issue a statement to the media as soon as possible.
For the most embarrassing blunder.
We've arranged for you to appear on the Project.
- What.
- Tonight.
But Nina's career.
Please don't watch it.
Nina is going to be on television.
What? - Who you calling? - Everyone.
[man.]
All right, here we go, guys, recording.
In three, two
Sweet.
Thanks.
If you don't want to sell your restaurant.
I could invest.
You? What were you doing Mum, while your grand-children were playing with sharp tools? You know what? I quit.
- Huh.
- Ah.
I am no longer running this childcare service.
You told me everything was good and it's not good.
And you said you were gonna come up with a solution, and this is it? Are you out of your mind? Yes, it's about It's about Cherie.
We're in the doldrums, sexually speaking, So this is your body telling you that it needs sex.
Neens, it's been a while, let's face it.
How long exactly? Well, I don't know.
Six months.
Seven.
Why won't you simply let yourself want what you want? What do you want? I want to kiss you.
You're on a date.
With pantsman? What? - Go for it.
- You think? - [Nina.]
Oh.
- Oops.
What just happened? [exhales sharply.]
Do it, do it, do it.
Wake up, Mummy! [Nina shudders.]
Oh, look, you're awake.
Do you want to go finish your breakfast, sweetie? Tell me everything.
[Nina.]
Ow.
Billie, help.
Oh, what, was the sex really bad? No, the sex was great.
It was really great, too great.
Oh, it was amazingly great.
So, what's the problem? Angus.
So what if you guys had a one night stand? It'll take care of itself.
And you know, if you're embarrassed at work, you can utilise the Sexual History Rewrite Act.
- Sorry, what? - In the event of a one night stand, in order to save face, there's an unstated agreement between two parties that it's perfectly alright that on first contact post-sexual interaction, you can pretend that it never happened.
And when one person plays this card, the other must follow suit, pretending that it never happened, thus rewriting your combined sexual history.
I didn't go home with Angus.
No, you don't do it with me, you do it with him, today.
First contact.
I'm saying I didn't have sex with Angus, last night, or, at all.
Yes, you did.
I spoke to you, late, in the bathroom.
You said, "I'm going home with Angus" in an immediate sense.
And then I went home with Franklin.
- Who's Franklin? - Exactly.
Where was Angus? In the bar, right there, watching me go home with Franklin.
I'm not sure if that's his first name or his last name.
Can we just talk about why I might have done that? - That's not all.
- There's more? After I left Franklin I got into an Uber, and I was texting Angus to just say, "well, you know, I'm sorry about that.
" I was trying to work out how to apologise to him, and it just slipped out of my hand.
And [exclaims in disgust.]
What? What did you send? [yelps.]
["When We Swam" playing.]
Oh why, oh why, oh why? Won't you sing? Bring your hips to me Oh, bring your hips Oh, oh, bring your hips to me To me Oh, bring your hips to me Oh, bring your hips Oh, oh, bring your hips to me To me To me Oh why, oh why? Oh why won't you sing? Offspring 6x04 "Fallout" July 20, 2016 - I made a love heart! - Oh, that's a beautiful love heart.
I don't want to go to work today.
Yes, it's messy, but, it's just one night of your life, right? It doesn't define you.
Doesn't have to happen again.
It's just a book with one chapter.
It was open.
You read it quickly.
Now it's shut.
Alright, darling, bye bye.
Have a lovely day.
Oh, I love you.
No, I can't face Angus.
You're single, remember? You're completely unattached.
All you have to do is own it.
"Yes, I did that.
That was me.
Moving on.
" Nothing can stick to you.
Angus is just a fluffy white egg and you're a Teflon pan.
- Be a non-stick pan? - Rise above it.
- Rise above the pan? - Go.
You will not apologise for a little bit of uncharacteristic stranger s-e-x with a text-regret chaser.
- I will not.
- No.
I am so sorry.
Well, you've been my sister for such a short time and you've already slept with someone from my work.
Yes, it's not how I thought my night was going to pan out, either.
I really didn't expect to see you in that bar.
Ah, well, Franklin got a promotion.
We were out celebrating.
- But, I'm sure you covered all that.
- No, he didn't.
Um, can we just not talk about last night? Sure, sure.
It's just that I would never do something like this.
You don't know me very well and maybe you're thinking, "oh, this is normal," but, people that know me are stunned.
Or, they would be, if I told them.
Well, I just, I just thought maybe you want the rundown on Franklin? - Oh.
- You told me that you were No, I'm begging you not to talk about it, actually.
Well, I have some news.
Oh, I'd love to hear your news.
I bought the taqueria.
Oh, wow, that's great.
Jimmy must be so relieved.
Good.
I was hoping you'd say that.
I think he will be.
Well, I hope so.
What? Jimmy doesn't know? I need you to help me tell him.
Oh.
No, not me.
Hang on, you bought the taqueria from Jimmy, and Jimmy doesn't know? - Isn't your name on the contract? - Company name.
Why would you do that? He was selling it for nothing.
I saved it.
It's a family business now.
It'll be great.
Jimmy and me, two brothers, in business.
Like Clooney and Pitt, you know? Oceans Eleven, all that.
Our Dad just died.
Jimmy's broken.
He won't be able to handle this.
What should I do? Can you get rid of it? You did a bad thing.
So did you.
Alfie, I don't care whether or, not you wear underwear to daycare, but, your teacher seems to, so we're going to go with that, okay? [baby crying.]
Hi.
Lunches are made, water bottles, spare clothes.
Sleeping bags are packed.
All that I ask is that the three of you wear pants.
In you pop.
It's from Geraldine.
"Gone to Amsterdam.
Jimmy, don't forget to pick up Dad's ashes.
" - Amsterdam? - Yeah, she admires their drug laws.
Mum had been on this detox, and then she hadn't eaten anything for days until she sat down with a jug of Mojito and books the next flight to Amsterdam.
Why, why is it daytime? It's sunny in London When I think of you - What? - [Zoe.]
Fire! Fire! Fire! He's here! Mick's here! Fire! Fire! Fire! Oh, it's you! It's really you! We said, never more than three weeks apart.
I love that rule.
- I'm a man of my word.
- I can't believe you're here.
[Zoe.]
Fire! Fire! Fire! [Nina.]
Angus.
Right, this is it.
Excuse me.
Morning, Nina.
[Nina.]
Don't make it bigger than it is.
That was a mistake.
Listen, Angus, I shouldn't have left you there.
[Nina.]
You don't need to explain yourself.
Just keep it nice.
Light.
I - You? - I I fu Can we just forget about what happened? I don't really want anyone here to know.
News spreads quickly.
Well I can see how you might not want anyone to know about your night, but, I have nothing to tell.
I went into the bathroom to arrange babysitting with my sister, and I came back out and you were flirting with two women.
What? Flirting? Talking.
[imitating bleating.]
That was my dolphin joke! You were in the bathroom for half an hour.
I got bored.
I was on the phone.
So, I'm telling a harmless joke about a sea mammal, to some folks nearby, and you're suddenly angry with me because why? Don't turn this around on me.
I thought it was going well.
The signs looked promising.
Until you flicked a switch and changed.
I only flicked my switch when you flicked yours.
Well, this is all very convenient for you to believe that I was flirting with those women.
But, even if I was, you can't play that card on me, because you went off and had sex with someone else.
You don't know that.
[scoffs.]
Okay, how about we just agree to believe what we want to believe.
Alright.
Well, I agree to believe the truth.
Angus.
Alright.
Perhaps, I wasn't behaving as my best self toward the end of the evening, I'll give you that.
But, ultimately, I saw who you really are with those two women and I am grateful that I pulled out when I did.
You are not going to add me to your list of conquests.
Which particular planet are you on? The only person who did any conquering last night was you.
[Nina.]
That went so much better in my head.
Hospital administration have brought in a photographer to take portraits of all the employees for the website.
But, Clegg has frozen.
Can we bounce something into his irises? Give them an artificial sense of life? All he's giving us are dead eyes.
What's wrong with him? [Cherie.]
I lost by libido.
He lost his mojo.
And you don't know where to find it.
Well, we tried everything to get it back.
Naked tennis, tongue to foot stimulation, foot to tongue, dinner with pants, dinner without.
Upside down kissing, role playing, horse-riding, nipple tweaking.
Nothing works.
Role playing, Neens.
How about that? [Nina scoffs.]
There's something going on between Nina and Angus.
- You are so wrong about that.
- I'm never wrong.
You're blushing! Well, it's hot.
I'm hot in here.
It's a temperature controlled 23 degrees and you're bang on average.
Spill.
We went out for a drink last night, and we thought something might happen, and then middle middle middle, I went home with someone else.
If I'm blushing it's because I had unexpected, incredible sex, by mistake, with someone that I don't know.
- But, I'm single.
- Mmm.
I haven't done anything wrong.
I haven't hurt anyone.
It's fine, right? I'm single.
That is not what I thought you were going to say at all.
Not in a million years.
Wish I hadn't told anyone.
Don't tell anyone else.
No.
Lips are sealed.
[Cleo.]
Next! [cellphone ringing.]
[Nina.]
Jimmy? Good.
Tell him about the taqueria.
- Jimmy.
- Hey, I just picked up Dad.
He's right here beside me.
It feels really good to have him in the car, you know? It just feels right.
Oh, and as soon as I put his seatbelt on, my phone rang and guess who it was? Mick! He's back.
We're having dinner at mum's tonight.
[stammers.]
Everyone's gonna come.
Hey.
Neens, hang on, I'm gonna call you back.
[Nina.]
Maybe not your moment to tell him.
Oh.
City, yeah? So, I said, "No.
" No, I'm not having a Pergola.
"Give me a Rotunda.
" I'm sorry to say it but, at least now he knows what I want.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
No.
You go.
So, how was your day? Oh, yeah, yeah.
Really cool, you know? Well, actually, not so cool.
I I was forced to sell my business recently.
Uh, I don't know if you've heard of it, Jimmy's Tacos? [muttering affirmatively.]
Um, my dad died recently.
[phone ringing.]
- I was kind of - Hello.
Yes, that's me.
Uh, what do you mean you're waiting for me? I'm I'm in you.
Can you hold on a sec? Are you not an uber? No.
Why did you pick me up? - Well, you just got in my car.
- You nodded at me! - You nodded at me first! - Well, can you just pull over? - Oh, my god.
- I can drop you in the city on the way, if you want.
It's right in my - Yeah! - in my way.
Oh, yeah, sure.
I mean, that's what all the psychos say.
- Just pull over now! - I'm not a psycho! - You're the psycho.
You got in my car! - Oh, my god! Are you still there? Yeah.
I know.
Just Very funny, dad.
[Nina.]
Have I misjudged Angus? That's brilliant.
I love it.
Thanks.
[Nina.]
Nuh, he's a pantsman.
And you almost fell for the charm.
[Angus.]
Next! Climb aboard the Flirt train! Everybody say Pantsman! [All.]
Pantsman! This is what you do, Nina.
This is exactly what you do.
- Leo? - You went on a date with a pantsman, and you got annoyed with him for being a pantsman, so you went home with some guy you don't even know just to teach him a lesson! Talk about an over-correction.
Well I can't be with someone who can't commit.
You can't commit! Yes, I can.
Then stop trying to control who we are by labelling us under âP' for Pantsman or âB' for Boring in Bed.
- I never said you were boring in bed.
- See, you're looking for the one who you can't label.
Who defies all your tricks and reasonings.
But, guess what? He doesn't exist! Because, spoiler alert, the only people who exist in the real world are real people.
- Franklin seems nice.
- Good luck with that.
What are you even doing here, Leo? Sorry.
Shouldn't have done that.
- Next.
- Thanks.
I I've got a patient now so I'll have to come back.
[whispering.]
We did it.
She's asleep.
[Brody.]
Billie! We're out of cereal! [Billie.]
Brody, you're up.
Mick's here.
He surprised me from London.
I've heard a lot about you, Mick.
- Not too much.
- Quite a lot.
Just just the right amount.
It's really nice to meet you, Brody.
So how long are you staying? How long's he staying? You know we're married, right? I just want to know how long I've got before I'm out on my arse.
You're not going anywhere.
I can't anyway.
I don't know where my jeans are.
Well, have you tried the dryer? No.
Isn't she great? [high-pitched voice.]
What is this? Oh, I've been leaving her little love bombs all around the house, trying to build up her self-esteem.
I'm trying to give her the one thing she hasn't had her whole life, unconditional adoration.
Oh, speaking of unconditional adoration We could take two minutes in the bedroom and conceivably be arguing.
That's not as crazy as your other ideas.
[Zoe.]
Aunty Billie! Okay, maybe just un uncross your arms.
That's it.
Just yep, relax a bit.
Yep, a smile? Open mouth? That's it.
Lovely.
Just relax into it.
Yeah, that's beautiful.
Okay, quick.
I told Brody to walk around the block and come back.
I don't want them crossing roads.
[Mick groans.]
Oh God, a sippy cup! [Mick.]
This is no good.
No good! - Too many toys.
- The toys! Go go.
- Yeah.
Okay? - Okay.
Okay, yep.
- I don't I can't reach - I can make that work.
- Yep, yep.
Okay.
- That's good.
- Yep, that's good.
- Alright? - Yeah.
- Here? Now? [doorbell rings.]
[Mick groans.]
What now? [both sighing.]
[Mick.]
Damn, gotta get my pants - [Billie.]
Yeah? - Okay.
Here, hold Dad.
[both grunting.]
Missed you too, brother.
Dad was a very tall man.
Are you sure he's all in here? Don't shake him! - Why? - I don't like it.
Feeling a bit forced.
You're just straining your mouth like you're scared or, something.
No.
Hey.
Why don't you think about the hot sex you had last night? How do you know about that? Sex face makes the best face.
- Yes.
- [Zara.]
You're welcome.
That's it! I just love what you're doing with your face.
[phone vibrating.]
Sorry, just [Geraldine.]
Thanks for letting me hide at your house till tonight.
I've booked your taxi already.
My flight's to Amsterdam's so late.
Wow.
Will looks so much like Darcy in this photograph.
He does.
[Geraldine.]
He's so handsome.
He's gorgeous.
And that look.
It's exactly the same.
God, there was a time when he could take anybody with that look.
- Cheeky wine? - Why not.
- Joint? - Definitely.
[phone ringing.]
Oh, I never answer the home phone.
Always someone wanting something.
[Marjorie.]
My thoughts exactly.
[phone continues to ring.]
[whistles.]
- Nina.
- Martin.
Ah, how do I put this? It appears that Cherie's libido situation has indirectly, through me, - impacted on your life.
- What? The Hospital Administrator has requested permission to use your image as the face of the hospital.
My face? Shouldn't it be your face? - They said I don't have the right face.
- On what grounds? Wrong face.
Apparently my image makes it appear as if I am a convicted serial killer.
[scoffs.]
You're exaggerating.
[yelps.]
You're not exaggerating! So, permission granted? Permission granted.
Oh, Angus.
You said we wouldn't tell anyone.
And you've told everyone.
Sorry.
I did only tell Kim and Cherie and Zara, and Elvis, âcause he was there.
I'm I'm just a bit confused and I feel bad.
It's It's far more embarrassing for me than it is for you.
[stammers.]
How is this not embarrassing for me? - We went out on a date - A drink.
We went out for a drink and then you left me there for someone else.
Well let's not forget that you were about to do exactly the same thing to me with those two women.
[scoffs.]
No matter how many times I defend myself, you've got this weird entrenched view of me.
Sorry, I don't have to explain myself to you.
- Oh, don't you? - Hey, last night you said to me, "I'm not right for you, so we should just accept that.
" Okay, I accept it.
Okay.
I'm not this guy that you think I am.
[cellphone beeps.]
- Is that him? - [Nina.]
Say no.
Yes.
You think I'm a pantsman.
I'm not.
You're a pantslady.
Oh my god.
He's right.
Brody, what's wrong? [crying.]
I've ruined everything.
I told Jason that I didn't want to see him anymore.
I really did.
But, he just kept on texting and I forgot about your pot.
It's not important.
Yes, it is.
You're just saying that! This isn't about the pot.
Come on, what is it? I miss my Mum.
But, I don't want my Mum.
[whimpering.]
You're not on your own anymore.
This is really disgusting.
[moaning.]
You're six centimetres.
You're dilating very quickly, which is a good thing.
Only six? I can't do this for much longer.
Six is good.
Six is great.
Things can accelerate really quickly.
You're doing a great job, Sophie.
[Sophie moans.]
We're all on hand to help you get this baby out and into your arms as soon as possible.
This is Labor 101.
Keep the fluids up.
If the mother becomes dehydrated then you're gonna risk the body going into shock.
Kim, what does Nina look like? She's colourful and flowing.
Sometimes slightly emotionally constipated, but, not today.
Today she looks radiant.
Kim was just telling me about her modelling career.
Are you as tanned or, as tall as she is? Uh, no.
Would you mind if I felt your face, Nina? Of course.
Note the change in the mother's demeanour, and the shift in the timing of the contractions.
This could be an early sign of transition.
[Sophie.]
Good facial structure.
Good bones.
- [Sophie moans.]
- Thank you.
[Sophie moans.]
- [Sophie moans.]
- That's it.
[phone ringing.]
[phone continues to ring.]
Maybe you should answer it.
It might be an emergency.
It's not.
See, I'm having I'm having a little trouble with a neighbour, because I happen to park in the visitor's spot.
Sometimes.
Well are you parked in the visitor's spot now? I am.
Well, I find it much easier to park in 'cause my spot's so filled with my own - rubbish.
- Oh, answer it! [phone ringing.]
Hello.
Noah, it's you, isn't it? Yeah, I know who you are, apartment five.
Yes, well, actually I've got news for you.
Today I happen to have a visitor.
And what better place to transport her to than the visitor's spot in our very own car-park.
[restrained screaming.]
That's it, push.
That's it, now hold off.
That's good.
I'm right here, Sophie.
- Okay.
- You're so close.
You're so close.
Okay, when I squeeze your hand, I want you to push.
The harder I squeeze, the more you push.
Deep breath in.
[moans.]
You ready? And push.
[grunting.]
Good.
Give me a push.
Push really hard.
Really, really hard.
[screaming.]
Push push push.
Go go go go! Oh, here she is.
Here she is.
- Oh, she's beautiful! - [baby crying.]
[Sophie.]
What does she look like? She's perfect.
She couldn't possibly be more beautiful.
[Sophie.]
Nina, can she see? [Nina.]
I'm just going to check for you now.
She's looking right at you.
- How was today? - Terrible.
- Were you Teflon? - No, I was the opposite of that.
Sticky.
Burnt.
Angus called me a pants lady, and Will's given my phone number to Franklin and he's texting me.
Who are you and what have you done with my sister? I am genuinely, genuinely confused about myself.
- Nina! - Oh, Mick! Hi.
I am I'm so sorry I wasn't here for the funeral.
Oh, it's alright.
You would have been there if you could.
[Nina.]
Oh, shit! Will! The taqueria.
Jimmy! I completely forgot.
I know it's killing him but, I can't help it.
Have you ever had a loss of libido? Oh, I'm the wrong person to ask.
I have the libido of a Sydney gay man in March trapped inside a straight lady bits body.
So [phone beeps.]
Franklin.
Ignore it.
Just ignore it.
Focus on Jimmy.
[Cherie.]
So, what you're saying is never? Mick and I haven't been able to satisfy that part of ourselves since we were in London three weeks ago, so are libidos are exceptionally high at the moment.
We're at ravenous.
So what's stopping you? Every single member of this family.
Yeah, let's pretend I never asked.
[phone beeps.]
Oh, whoa, is that what I think it is? Yep, that's unmistakably [indistinct chatter.]
Okay, so I need to send something back.
Come on Nina, you can do it.
It's not that hard.
It's easy.
It's simple.
Everyone's doing it.
Just one little picture.
Is this really who you are now? What are you doing? Stop this! ["You're no good" playing.]
You're no good, you're no good, You're no good Baby you're no good I'm gonna say it again, You're no good You're no good, you're no good Baby, you're no good [Zara.]
I bought your favourite cheese.
Double brie.
[indistinct chatter.]
[glass clinking.]
[Jimmy.]
Mick, since Dad died, things haven't felt right, but seeing you back at this table is the closest to normal we've been.
And that makes me think everything's going to be okay.
To Darcy.
- Cheers.
- To Darcy.
- Cheers.
Darcy.
- Darcy.
Dad played a trick on me today.
I was driving him home from the crematorium and this lady jumped into my car.
She thought I was an Uber.
I thought it was a sign.
Dad was telling me, "Jimmy, you've got no money," you've got a car.
You should drive an Uber.
And so that's what I'm gonna do.
Once again making major decisions without me.
No, it's not a life choice, it's not a career.
It just means that we can put our family in the centre of our world for a while.
Jimmy, you don't have to do that.
Your ideas will come back.
No, I want to.
It's perfect.
Jimmy, You don't need to drive an Uber.
No! [Will.]
It was me.
I bought the taqueria.
I tried to stop you from selling but, you wouldn't let me.
I new you needed the cash so I made sure you got your short settlement.
I I wanted to help.
So you bargained me down so you could buy it off me? You prick.
My business partner did the deal.
I didn't want to get involved.
That's all too close.
Too close to what? - Family.
- Oh Jimmy, I think at the time he thought he was doing the right thing.
Did you know about this? Why didn't you tell me? I I don't have an answer for that.
Neens a bit distracted today because last night she went on a date with a guy from her work but, then she went home with a completely different guy she didn't even know from Will's work, and now he's texting her.
That's not information anyone needs to know.
[cellphone vibrating.]
Okay, what the hell is going on here? - I haven't got to the best bit yet.
- I don't want to hear it.
- Yeah, you do.
- No, and you know what? It's off.
The taqueria's no longer for sale.
You can't have it.
I will tear up every contract I have, I will call my lawyer right now.
No way.
Too late.
Too late.
Nina suggested that you might - No! - Be upset and that I should get rid of it.
So I did.
I on-sold it to a contact I have in Hong Kong.
I was lucky.
I was very lucky.
[chuckles.]
[Nina.]
What'd you do, Nina? You made a profit? Yeah, even I was impressed.
I want to split it with you.
That's the best bit I was talking about before.
[Cherie.]
How much? Stay seated.
I am seated.
How much? Forty K.
Whoa.
Oh.
I don't want your dirty money.
Do not take that as a final comment from us.
Listen to Zara.
Don't let business be personal, Jimmy.
You keep letting your ego get in the way of making good decisions.
I don't need business advice from you, thanks.
- It's not advice.
Just saying.
- And I'm just saying stop talking.
Jimmy, take the money.
You don't know what a gift horse looks like when you see one.
Yeah, I know it doesn't look like you.
- Yes, it does! - That's enough! What are you, eight years old? Stop competing with Jimmy.
I'm not! He's competing with me! Actually, this is my family.
You get out.
Don't worry, I'm going.
[phone beeps.]
Sorry.
I don't understand.
How could he get so much for it, and and why couldn't we find that buyer in Hong Kong? Maybe we got bad advice.
Hey, hey.
I'm supposed to be a businessman but, who am I kidding? Will is the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
No, he is he is worse than that.
He is worst on worst.
- Jimmy.
- What? You've got something Will could never have.
- You? - No.
- Oh.
- I was gonna say ideas.
Will can wheel and deal in other people's ideas but, he doesn't have them.
Your ideas will come back.
It's just a bad patch.
It'll pass.
But can I have you? Are you going to stop making enormous decisions without me and come in from that stupid caravan? I know what I need to do.
- Sell the caravan.
- No.
If I can just refocus my energy on being bigger and better than Will, I know my ideas will come back.
I just want to do something I can rub his face in.
- Revenge.
- Mmm.
- I get it.
- Mmm.
- It's healthy.
- Mmm.
I'm sorry, it's just so weird.
Zoe could hear us.
[both sighing.]
We're in a house full of people who don't sleep.
What we need is middle of the night sex.
Sex where no one can hear us.
Is that a a thing? It'd be like deep sleep sex.
Be like a meeting of our subconscious minds.
Yeah.
Count me in.
[phone vibrates.]
[Nina.]
Meet me? Am I gonna go there again? She's safe here with Billie.
I'll leave a note.
No.
Am I a 2 am girl? I can be.
For tonight, anyway.
You are allowed a sex life.
Be Teflon.
Be a non-stick pan.
[moaning.]
[moaning continues.]
[Billie.]
Yeah.
[Billie moans.]
[Billie.]
Oh, yeah.
Mmm-hmm.
Yeah.
- [Billie moans.]
- [Mick.]
Okay.
[Billie.]
Ooh, stop.
[Billie.]
Okay, go.
Oh.
- [Billie.]
Faster.
- [Mick.]
Yeah.
- [Billie.]
Faster.
Stop.
- [Mick moans.]
[Mick moans.]
Yeah.
[Billie.]
Slowly.
Slowly.
Oh, pick it up.
Ooh, oh.
Pick it up, pick it up.
Oh! [moans.]
Nina? Keep going.
Gerry.
Gerry, you've missed your flight.
No, no, the taxi came.
I just I've never been to Europe without Darcy before and the more I kept thinking about it, the more I could see his face smiling at me.
Just grinning, like nothing had happened, you know? There's a gaping big hole where Darcy used to be, and I can't ignore it.
I don't want to go to Amsterdam without Darcy.
I I don't want to go home, either.
What do I do? You stay here.
We pretend that we're going on holiday.
We don't even need to leave the house.
No one will see you.
We can order in the food and the booze, we'll get drunk and stoned.
It'll be just like Amsterdam, except that instead of looking at men on bikes we can check them out on the Internet.
And then at the end of the two weeks, I will drive you home, relaxed, rested, to your family.
They'll never even need to know.
Really? Thank you, Marjorie.
I think you'll be happy here, Dad.
What are you actually doing? Oh.
Can't sleep? Nah, not after your interruption.
[sighs.]
- You okay? - Yep.
Nope.
[Nina giggles.]
You've just caught me in the middle of doing something very foolish.
And the voice inside my head is telling me what an idiot I am so you don't have to.
Oh, come on.
2 AM foolish is pretty common.
What am I doing, Mick? You know, I feel like I've landed in a parallel universe.
Darcy's gone, Jimmy's taking advice from his ashes.
Geraldine has run away, Zara's hiding, Billie is fostering dubious street kids, Cherie's lost her libido, you've, you know, clearly found yours.
Everyone's coping in their own way.
You've lost your anchor.
You know, you're hurting, Nina.
But, I don't think you should be worried.
This isn't the real you.
Isn't it? You just miss your Dad.
Do you think Billie's okay? I don't think she's coming back to London with me.
Oh.
[Nina bursts into laughter.]
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't be smiling.
No, of course I get it.
You need her, she needs you.
She's happy here.
There's this light in her eyes when she's home.
It's just not there on tour.
There's a light on tour.
There's lots of light.
I put the light into London.
[phone vibrates.]
Is that your 2 AM foolish? Is it? Shut up.
- Gonna do that? - I'm going to bed.
I'm going to let him know I'm not coming.
You're not coming back with me.
It's only six months.
[knocking at door.]
[Nina.]
Is that Brody? It's 2 AM! Come in.
[phone ringing.]
[groans.]
- Hello? - Marjorie, your car is still blocking the parking space.
I don't care about your parking space.
You're not Marjorie.
No, I'm a visitor.
I'm sorry, you're innocent.
It's an ongoing issue.
Marjorie makes it difficult for other residents.
What are you - wearing? - What am I wearing? That's a very fresh question.
Right now a jumper and not much else.
Really? [Nina.]
Look at you.
You're perfect.
I don't need to go anywhere else, because you're right here.
I'm not a 2 AM girl.
I'm a nice restaurant kind of girl.
Wine, dessert, romance, daytime.
That's the kind of girl I am.
Silly Mummy.
I am silly.
That's why Mummy's never going out, ever, ever, ever again.
Doctor Nina Proudman, face of the future, mother of gorgeous child.
Loving daughter, attentive, apologetic sister, happily single, respected obstetrician.
We have a sizable problem.
Is that code for good news? A patient has gone public with a video supposedly containing damning evidence of staff negligence here at St.
Francis.
It's been posted to various online sites.
Apparently it's going viral.
The Medical Board are trying to have it removed.
That seems to be an impossible task.
Have you seen the video? [Nina.]
Wait a minute.
This is not happening.
[news reader.]
Is this Australia's worst hospital? - Neens, you're on telly.
- What.
Nina is at the centre of a work scandal.
It's a really nice photo.
My face was just on the news.
Get Ready.
First step will be to issue a statement to the media as soon as possible.
For the most embarrassing blunder.
We've arranged for you to appear on the Project.
- What.
- Tonight.
But Nina's career.
Please don't watch it.
Nina is going to be on television.
What? - Who you calling? - Everyone.
[man.]
All right, here we go, guys, recording.
In three, two