On Becoming a God in Central Florida (2019) s01e08 Episode Script

Birthday Party

1 - Previously - You're giving me money? [KRYSTAL.]
Investing it in the park's future: Splashercize.
You're the reason Ernie quit.
That FAM scam.
You're a goddamn hero.
I - I feel like crap about that.
- And yet, you're asking for his job.
This has got to be fraud.
But we need evidence if this story's gonna sell.
You need to stay close to this Bonar guy to know when he's gonna meet with Obie.
There's no reason for an arrangement of chrysanthemums that size except to cover a podium.
Buck Bridges is planning a rally, sir.
I will contact you when you're nee if you're needed.
Hey, hey, hey! Don't you want to take it for a spin? [PERCUSSIVE MUSIC.]
A plan to expand the Garbeau System.
That old water park in - your girlfriend's scrapbook.
- [CODY.]
I talked to the owner this afternoon.
He is ready to sell.
Krystal won't be anything.
Excuse me, sir? Fuck this! Open up, Stan.
Wake up.
Everybody knows you've been sleeping in there.
Krystal to Stan.
Excuse me.
We need to talk.
You need a license to operate the ride.
- So do you.
- I have a license.
I got it in '74.
It was the best summer of my life.
You can't sell the park, Stan.
The flame of the Van Grundegaard name will extinguish at this park.
It is time to sell.
- Now put the ride back on.
- No.
- Do it.
- I need a license - to operate this ride.
- Do it or you're fired.
I'm gonna lose my job anyway if you sell to Obie Garbeau.
You're the one who brought FAM into this park.
You can deal with the consequences.
If I keep pouring money into this, I'm I'm just buying myself a divorce.
Wait, you're sleeping here 'cause Janice is upset about money? Amongst other things.
That's what ruined my marriage.
I mean, I tried, you know.
I really did.
But if I don't choose a ship, they're both gonna sink.
Travis never had a chance to get to that point.
Maybe it's better that way.
It wasn't.
How much is Obie offering? What if I got you another bidder? [EXHALES SHARPLY.]
Krystal will be thrilled, sir.
She was just saying that [OBIE OVER TAPE.]
Krystal won't be anything.
I talked to the owner this afternoon.
He is ready to sell.
Krystal will be thrilled, sir.
She was just saying that [OBIE.]
Krystal won't be anything.
- Are you fucking crazy? - Jesus.
What are you listening to? Oh, I was feeling aimless this morning, so I decided to make my way through Travis's Americana FAM-O'Rama collection.
That's a great collection.
There's a part where Obie tells his joke about the, um, the squirrel who plays golf with God, but then he turns it into a ten-minute lesson about spanking your kids.
Can't wait.
Big plans today? Roger's training me this morning.
But after that, I hope me and Roger are gonna mess with Buck Bridges's rally.
What about you? What are you doing today? You know.
Rebel Rapids.
- Sounds fun.
Oh! That's Roger.
Have a good day.
- Roger! [DOOR CLOSES.]
I thought you were going falconing with Roger today.
Something came up.
Roger will be very disappointed.
Roger does not emote.
I've got him training up the Bonar boy today.
How does Roger feel about you bringing Cody in? He may not emote, but that doesn't mean he doesn't feel, Obie.
Is Cody moving onto the premises? Haven't decided yet.
Well, do you think maybe we could have a conversation before you do decide? Do you have a problem with Cody? The boy has got spunk and vision and loyalty.
I'm sure he's very sweet, but aren't you worried about Krystal? Cody knows what he has to do.
They're in love.
Let me help you.
It's a beautiful day.
Right? Are you more like a-a sunny guy or, like, you like the rainy days? ["THE WANDERER" BY EDEN AHBEZ PLAYING.]
What is it you're listening? It's interesting.
What's this? - By his side - [CHUCKLES.]
What's that for? The world is deep Wow.
I mean, that's a really thick glove, Roger.
You know? Can't do much in this glove.
Okay! Let's do this! [HORN HONKING.]
I'm sorry.
I'm just I'm excited.
It's like, you know, it's like Obie is the Lone Ranger, and I'm Tonto.
And you're also Tonto.
You never served, did you? Served what? You don't know what I'm talking about.
- Yes, I do.
- What am I talking about? - Serving.
- Serving what? Jinx.
- No.
I jinxed you.
- No, you didn't.
- Y-Yes, we both said the same thing.
We didn't say it at the same time.
There are rules.
Who's your best friend? Mine's Obie.
All you got to do is stick with the beat.
You will sail if you hit those rhymes on the beat.
- Do you understand? - [WOMAN.]
I don't understand.
- So this is a song? - [PAT.]
Eleanor, I wish I had time to explain the culture to you, but I don't.
I don't want to do this.
You're gonna get a laugh.
You're gonna get a big laugh.
They're gonna love it.
They're gonna eat it up.
So, with me, in time.
My name is Granny, I'm here to say Buck Bridges made me rich in a major way You said I could sing the anthem.
Eleanor, I'm gonna take five.
- We'll make that ten.
- Okay.
"Have info on Obie.
What's it worth to Buck?" Who's in there? Hello? [OBIE.]
He is going to dilute the market.
I've got to have a strategy as divisive as his.
A plan to expand the Garbeau System.
And I can't think small.
I got to think big.
Oh, wait.
I know you.
You're Boner's girlfriend, right? What are you doing in here with a baby? Why are you eating? On break.
I got something Buck Bridges might want.
- Well, I can't pee now.
Thanks a lot.
- He's your upline, right? - [FAUCET RUNNING.]
Something like that.
What's it to you? Him and Obie hate each other, right? Bonar tell you that? 'Cause Buck talks all the time about how great Obie is.
What's your game, lady? What are you playing at? I just want to talk to the man.
What's on the tape? Obie talking, about secret business affairs.
He's about to make a big purchase, and I thought your guy might want to buy it before Obie does.
Can I see that for a second? No.
Just talk to your guy and let me know what he has to say.
Well, don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you.
Your butt.
Cute baby.
Boy or girl? Heavens to meezy, who taught you how to fade like that? I saw it on TV.
Go to your room, Harold.
Let me finish this petal.
You're gonna look ridiculous.
Please let those dry.
You got it.
Gonna be hot at the park in that getup.
Well, there's something you should know.
I don't work at Rebel Rapids anymore.
I work for myself now.
Don't do this, Ernie.
It's already done.
I resigned.
You better take your honey biscuits down there and un-resign.
We make these decisions together.
You're right, I should have been honest with you.
That's what I'm doing now.
Everything's on the table.
You've been acting all kinds of odd for weeks.
Bets, there's a man out there, and he's alone in the dark.
And he's surrounded by water.
And it's rising.
And he doesn't know why, and it's not his fault, and he's scared.
He needs me, Bets.
He needs me.
I don't like this, Ernie Gomes.
Not one bit.
This will be good for our family.
I promise.
No more secrets.
What do we do if he doesn't want to sell to Mr.
Garbeau? You know, sometimes when people are being negative, I mail them a turkey sandwich every day until they shape up.
We could catch raccoons and release them into the park.
You don't think these are good ideas? They're foolish ideas from the mind of a child.
We could sabotage a slide, so that a kid falls off, and Krystal's boss gets embroiled in a wrongful death lawsuit.
Do you want some? [OMINOUS, PERCUSSIVE MUSIC.]
What do you think? I think we've got a deal.
- Yes! - [CLAPS HANDS.]
I'll have my lawyers start drawing up the paperwork.
All right.
Krystal, come to my office.
What do you want, Stan? Krystal, you've got the day off.
What are you doing here? [OBIE.]
There is a change of ownership in the works.
Consider it the validation of a good idea.
There's a car out front waiting to take you to Paradise Cay.
My wife would like to see you.
Well, I've got to take care of Destinee.
Oh, I told Cheryl you'd be stopping by day care.
- Hey.
All right.
- And the diaper bag's here.
- A-All right, all right.
- Bye.
Thank you.
Bye, baby.
Let's go, guys.
Say hi to Destinee.
All right, okay [LINE RINGING.]
- [MIRTA.]
Hello? - Mirta? I don't have much time, but a lot of crap is going down.
I got invited to Paradise Cay, and Obie's trying to buy Rebel Rapids.
What? Uh, tell me what I need to make this into a story.
One we can sell.
What kind of questions should I be asking? Nothing.
No story.
Lost my job.
You're high as shit.
You're fired.
- Mirta? [DOOR OPENS.]
Did Obie say anything about the manager position? Ask him yourself.
Uh, but maybe You know, when I was younger and I was unsure of my place in the world, this helped a lot.
Why? It's not how I intended today to go.
Plans change, Roger.
He's ready.
You need to train him.
Two heads are better than one.
I'd like to have a say in choosing the second head.
Keep back-talking me and you'll be the second head.
So, um, why-why are we here? Who is, uh who's who's this woman? Can you tell? Can't really say? She's a failed TV journalist with undue interest in Mr.
Garbeau's affairs.
And Obie wants us - to deal with it.
- No.
Some things are best left off Mr.
Garbeau's radar.
Yeah, um, but, uh, just how how will he know we did a good job, then? I recommend finding new incentives.
Are you familiar with the work of B.
Skinner? Yes.
Then you understand what we're hoping to achieve today.
Good work.
Hello? See what you can find.
She's not here.
Holy moly.
Grab what you can.
Make it look like a break-in.
Whew! You were right.
She's onto us, big-time.
Today is an opportunity for you to learn.
I suggest you take it.
Yeah, well, I'm-I'm I'm trying.
Roger, I'm trying so hard.
Can I trust you to handle a task on your own? The Bridges rally.
I thought FAM people didn't drink.
Well, hospitality may be in short supply, but gin isn't.
Tell me about yourself, Krystal.
Not much to tell.
So, Obie, he's buying the water park, huh? Well, Obie's always been interested in tourism.
It really goes hand in hand with distribution.
You just bring those recruits to you.
Yeah, that was my idea [CHUCKLES.]
with Splashercize.
You have a fearsome energy.
Has anyone ever told you that? - Not in those words.
Is Obie gonna fire me? Other than Splashercize, being manager is the only thing I've ever done that's made me any kind of money.
You were a forceps delivery, weren't you? I-I know how that sounds, but the-the distrust and the problems with Obie.
I-I don't have any idea how I was born.
You do now.
I want you to do this by yourself.
I won't be there if something goes wrong.
Any questions? Yes.
Um, only thing is I've had run-ins with this guy.
I think he'll recognize me.
That won't be an issue.
I'll be waiting for you here.
And give a minute for the audience to stop laughing.
All right.
Wow! Wow! Let's give it up for MC Gram-Gram! Huh? You know, it's never too late to find a method that works for you.
'Cause I tried 'em all: United Sciences, FundAmerica, Melaleuca, Medifast, Longaberger Baskets, Discovery Toys, Arbonne, Vector Marketing, Sunrider, Shaklee, Pampered Chef, Nu Skin, Nature's Sunshine.
But listen.
It wasn't until Mr.
Buck Bridges came into my life that I learned the secret.
There is no s-secret.
There is no secret.
It takes hard work.
But the work is its own rew - What the heck? - [WOMAN.]
Oh, my goodness.
Helena, what's What's going on with all this fog? [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
This better not happen during the actual rally.
Hey, uh, folks, nobody freak out.
This is the intended result of the machine.
Um, so it's not a mistake.
It just means that it's working too well.
- What? What was that? What's going on over there? All right, everyone just stay calm.
God - [MAN.]
Oh, boy.
- [PAT.]
Guys, don't leave.
It's not smoke.
It's just fog.
Can anybody hear me? I need help.
Can someone help me? Hey.
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go! - Go, go, go, go, go.
Oh, my God, Roger, you should have been there.
It was crazy! [WHOOPS, LAUGHS.]
I have decided to dedicate my life to putting people in touch with their birth.
And it has been it has been galvanizing.
'Cause the more I study, the more I find that the circumstances of one's birth really determines everything about their life.
Through here.
You remember Harmony.
Hi, Krystal.
It seems she's having some hang-ups with authority.
Well, you've come to the right place.
I hope you've visualized your ideals today.
How was your incubation? - I wish it never ended.
- Aw.
Krystal, are you going through the therapy? I came here to talk about my job.
What's the, uh, therapy? Well, it's the reason that I invited you here, Krystal.
I hope you keep an open mind.
Harmony, will you fill her in? I need to go scrub up, and I will be back in a toot.
I swear to you, Krystal, it will change everything.
I was in a dead marriage.
My husband had been following the Garbeau System, but he wanted a shortcut.
So, he veered from the path, and everything fell apart.
Do you have children, Krystal? A daughter.
Me, too.
So you understand.
My husband did something criminal.
And the Garbeaus took us in, but the shame of his foolishness I I felt dead.
Can you imagine? Yeah.
My husband risked everything, too.
The therapy is a chance to shut the door on painful patterns.
I understand your skepticism, Krystal, but I assure you, you have nothing to fear.
Step into my orifice.
You didn't have to get me something.
I know I didn't have to, but I went ahead and did it anyway, so Oh, Ernie Gomes, if there is a bunny rabbit in this box and you didn't poke holes in the top - [CHUCKLES.]
Come on.
- It's not moving.
Oh, my.
Look at it.
- You better put that thing on.
Second part of your present's just got here.
Juanita, hi! Harold! Honey, look who's here.
Ernie, I wasn't prepared for guests.
Well, you always said you wanted dance lessons.
This is Enrique.
Are we ready to cha-cha-chá? [CHEERING, APPLAUSE.]
Is this familiar to you, Krystal? Leave the hostile world behind, and surrender yourself, to the safest, most secure place in the universe.
Close your eyes.
Visualize your ideals.
Think about the things that you want for your life.
You want me to get in the tub? The womb.
Grab your partner.
Feel the music.
Five, six, cinco, seis, siete, ocho.
Uno, dos, tres, cha-cha.
- Remember this: nothing bad can happen to you here.
Just follow the sound of my voice.
In, out.
dos, tres, cha-cha.
In, out.
- Uno, dos, tres, cha-cha.
- Uno, dos, tres.
Señor Gomes? - Sí.
Chin up.
Look at your woman.
In, out.
In, out.
Don't fight it.
In, out.
Deeper, deeper, deeper.
Go back.
Go back.
Follow your mind.
Don't fight.
And claw and claw and claw and claw.
Y uno, y dos, y tres, y cuatro, - y claw.
Don't fight it.
Krystal, don't fight.
Don't fight.
- Go deep.
- Krystal, breathe.
That's right.
That's right.
I didn't know you can dance like that.
I didn't, either.
Oh, my goodness And you and Victor? - My goodness.
- Ah.
Thank you so much for hosting, Bets.
Victor and I needed this.
Amen to that.
Me and Ernie have been going at it, and I don't mean in the sexy way.
Well, you know what Victor and Ernie went through.
It shook him up a bit, but it made him remember what's important.
You mean FAM? What? No, the Juanita, what? What? [SIGHS.]
Bets, Victor and I got to jet.
Big emergency at Pablo's house.
Come on.
We got to run.
You okay? - I need to talk to you.
- Okay.
We can talk tonight.
But I got to take care of something right now.
- It can't wait.
- Pizza shop.
- Oh, no no, no, no, no, no.
- With Victor.
No, listen.
Not now.
Later, okay? I promise.
Listen, I'm okay.
I'm okay.
- You're not okay.
- I am.
- You were hiding it from me.
No, I-I wasn't.
I-I was I was gonna tell you, just not yet.
- You're in denial.
- No, I'm not.
Look, I was I was planning on telling you.
Look, I-I-I e-even wrote it down in in my calendar.
Uh, July 25.
We were gonna have dinner.
I-I I-I knew I wouldn't want to talk about it, so I bought a special hat.
A-And on that day, whoever's wearing that hat has to they have to talk openly about what happened to them at that pizza shop.
Okay? And you're right.
I don't want to talk about it.
I really don't.
But on that day, when I'm wearing that hat, I have to.
It's a rule.
- But right now - Ernie.
I can't.
I have to go.
That is insane.
Bets, please forgive me but I've got to go.
- Ernie? - I love you.
How do you feel? I feel like your husband just bought my job out from under me and I came here to grovel for it.
And I physically fought myself out of a fucking vagina tub for no goddamn reason.
That is the goal of the therapy, Krystal.
We bring to the surface all of the traumas that you've been gripping so tightly, so that you can let them go.
I have seen your rage control you.
And now I want you to feel it so that you can control it.
And if you want to direct any of that anger, at me, do it.
I can take it.
So, now, feeling every bit of it, I want you to say a truth.
Your name.
Your full name.
Krystal Hargrave Stubbs.
Now, feeling all that anger, say it again, and tell me what you experienced.
I saw my labor.
Not your own birth? No, my daughter's.
No one remembers their own birth.
Good, Krystal.
Now, but this time, say what you saw in detail.
Uh Krystal Hargrave Stubbs.
I saw Destinee's birth.
I was alone.
This is fucking stupid.
Very good, Krystal.
But this time, visualize your words taking the form of this totem.
Krystal Hargrave Stubbs.
I gave birth alone because my husband was working for you.
And now he's fucking dead because of you! Because of fucking FAM! Let's go get your clothes.
I had so much rage, Krystal.
Just like you.
But look at what exists on the other side.
We don't do all of this for nothing.
Obie and I make winners out of whoever wants to be one.
We can do it for you.
We can do it for your daughter.
You just need to let us.
I knew you were ready.
I've been training Harmony in the therapy for a while now.
But once we open it up to the downline, well, the volume will require more than one person can handle.
This isn't really my thing.
I read your proposal for Splashercize.
And I am sorry that my husband did not appreciate how much you have to offer.
But I want you to help me grow the therapy into a business.
I'll put you on my payroll, you can grow with us.
I just don't want to work here.
Look at where you are, and think about where you want to be.
Mija, I think I trashed my apartment.
I don't even remember.
I need help.
What a day, Roger.
Wow, it was super fun.
Really, thank you.
Today is my birthday.
Happy birthday.
Hi, honey.
How was your day? You wouldn't believe how cool of a guy Roger can be, once you get to know him.
He's funny.
Obie and I, we make winners out of whoever wants to be one.
And we can do it for you.
We can do it for your daughter.
You just need to let us.
Come here.