On My Block (2018) s02e05 Episode Script
Chapter Fifteen
1 Money, money Money, money, money [MALE VOICE.]
Bow down to Money Bunny and get your cash fast.
[MAN ON RADIO.]
The LAPD has issued an APB after four men in monster masks pulled off a brazen midday heist at Freeridge Savings.
Security footage shows That's less than a mile from here.
[TURNS OFF RADIO.]
[SIGHS DEEPLY.]
Bad news doesn't sell barbecue.
And you're folding wrong.
It's triangles, not rectangles.
Paula! This is Dwayne's, not Hooters.
The only belly we serve is pork.
[MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO.]
Staring at your phone isn't gonna change things.
It's been almost a month and she hasn't hit you back? Should I send her something or go over there? What would you do? I'd distract myself.
With work.
At my job! I just miss the sound of her voice.
Are we talking about the same Monse? [SIGHS.]
I miss her hair.
How she sucks No, no, no! Her lips, when she's nervous.
[CELL PHONE VIBRATING.]
Mario? That's weird.
Hello? Dude, I I need your help.
Ruby won't get out of bed.
Oh, he finally got that Tempur-Pedic.
No.
No.
He's he's just in a massive funk.
Yes, but no.
- Did you try tickling him? - Tickling? [SCOFFS.]
It's too hard to explain.
I know all his spots.
I'll be right over.
Okay.
Got to go.
Ruby needs me.
You're in charge while I'm gone.
Be back soon.
I - ¿Qué onda, compa? - What's up, man? How are you? - Heard the good news.
Congrats, Papa.
- Yeah.
Thanks, man.
Baby mama cravings? - No, these are for Ruby.
- [MAN ON RADIO.]
We go live now to Maria Sanchez with an update on the Freeridge robbery.
[IN SPANISH.]
Turn it up.
[WOMAN ON RADIO.]
Police have tracked down a stolen and abandoned vehicle used by the bank robbers.
The LAPD is asking for the public's help in identifying the suspects - who are still - So how's Little Man? Oh, you know, he's been better.
- He's been through it.
- Yeah, man.
Uh, never seen him like this before.
Been monitoring him and nothing will get him out of bed.
Nothing? Mario, I just wanna sleep.
Wakey-wakey, biatch! You got a lot of furry friends.
They're the twins.
You named them? No.
That's my brother-in Doesn't matter.
Get up.
- We're going to a party.
- I'm not in a celebratory mood.
I've lost people, too.
- Then you should know how I feel.
- Yep.
So let's go.
A party isn't gonna help.
- Don't make me carry you.
- [RUBY SIGHS.]
[MARIO.]
Can I come, too? Please? - [DOOR BANGS.]
- [JAMAL.]
Ruby? He's not here.
Why call in the doctor when there's no patient? Where'd he go? Don't know, don't care.
- What's with the ice? - Ugh! My hands are no good.
- Been almost a month.
- A month! Do you have pain? Numbness? Tingling? Radiation? [GASPS.]
Could be carpal tunnel, chicken pox, trigger finger, malaria.
I think it's arthritis.
[SIGHS.]
- [ABUELITA MOANS.]
- You know, you're a real hero for working through the pain.
No, I'm not working.
- Then what's happening with the money? - Nothing.
Listen.
I'm picking up what you're putting down.
But you need to hit the track, woman.
I can't jog right now.
Ain't talking jogging.
You need to run those stacks, feel me? Jamal I can't make cream if I can't milk.
We gotta get in urgent care now.
I don't do doctors.
Dammit, woman! Fine! [EXHALES DEEPLY.]
Then we go to the curandera.
La curandera? Rosario? No! That woman is dead to me.
Pick your poison.
["CARA LINDA" PLAYING.]
How's this supposed to make me feel better? - We just got here.
- And I already wanna leave.
- Yo, let's dip.
No one's gonna notice.
- No, dude.
Having a good time? - Honestly - The best time.
- [IN SPANISH.]
Above.
- [IN SPANISH.]
Below.
- To the center.
- And inside.
- Dude, relax.
We're at a party! - A Santos party.
It's not like someone's gonna come here and whack the place up with the truce and all, all right? So just breathe, have a drink, or four.
I'm not gonna tell Mom.
Look.
Think of today as a rare chance to hang with your big bro.
All right? 'Cause tonight I got you.
I got you! Doesn't that look like Oh, shit! It's Angelica.
Oh, my God.
I can't face her.
I'm I'm a dropout living at home.
I'm a cliché! - [SOFTLY.]
Am I a cliché? - Yeah.
Kind of.
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
I gotta hide.
I don't wanna be here.
I don't wanna be here.
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
You, with the shaved head.
And you with the other shaved head.
[IN SPANISH.]
Come here.
feng shui these things now.
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
Okay, who brought the apps? I respect the attempt, but come on.
A chip must support the dip, the veggies should be served cold, and the guac is store-bought.
What kind of a Mexican are you? - Yeah, man! - This party flow is all wrong, people.
I want stations.
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
Okay, we need to fix this sitch now.
This is so weird.
I can't believe I let you drag me here! - Higher plane, woman.
Higher plane.
- [SCOFFS.]
Marisol.
Rosario.
I see the years have not been kind to you.
And gravity is not your friend.
Is your husband still dead? You still got the herpes? At least I am getting laid.
Once a skank, always a skank! - Yeah, well it takes one to know one! - Excuse me! Enough slut-shaming! And not to mention, one in six people have herpes, so let's not stigmatize.
How can I help you? My friend here is having a problem with her hands.
Too many back alley handies? You Ow! Ow! I don't need this shit! No.
- Jamal! - Don't "Jamal" me! [SOFTLY.]
Do you want 35% of nothing? Ugh.
Do what you have to do.
[SPITS.]
["IMMORTALES" PLAYING.]
Hey, uh, what are you doing? Righting a wrong.
I mean, who uses mismatched plasticware? Is this a spork? Useless! Great.
Listen.
I was I was wrong earlier.
I should've I should've listened and respected your feelings.
So if you're still feeling uncomfortable here, we should bail.
Like like, now.
Seriously? More sporks? [EXHALES.]
Hey, uh, you? Uh.
So how's Berkeley? Oh, good.
I mean I mean great, really great.
Uh, I went hard the first semester.
I landed an internship and I, uh, I got a girlfriend.
Um, she's white.
That goes without saying.
So I guess I am a man of my word.
[CHUCKLES.]
Uh, yeah, and she's rich, like, generational wealth rich.
Like 401k and all that stuff.
Yeah, and they have a boat, so I'm learning how to sail.
[CHUCKLES.]
So, when in Rome, right? Except we're gonna be in the Hamptons this summer.
Summering.
Uh Yeah, I just wanted you to know that.
Yeah, so, um Well, it was great talking to you.
It's all about north to south.
Not east to west.
Get more juice that way.
[SPANKS.]
Enjoy the party.
And Ruben's back! - - [PHONE KEYBOARD TICKING.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Don't send it.
I'm not sending anything.
- Don't know what you're talking about.
- She's ghosting you.
[CHUCKLES.]
She's not like that.
Sure seems that way.
I know it seems that way, but she's [EXHALES DEEPLY.]
She's ghosting me.
I deserve it.
You blow her off for your friends? - No.
- You step out? - No.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Then what's her problem? I gave her an ultimatum.
An ultimatum? I asked her to choose me or her mom.
You're cute, but you're dumb.
[JAMAL.]
Don't get too close! This is gonna work, right? I need her back on the street, like yesterday.
- What is that? - Birch water and hummingbird blood.
- Hummingbird? - [ROSARIO.]
Uh-huh.
Why not a crow? Or an eagle, or an emu, something to kick this into a higher gear? Who has been doing this for 32 years? [RETCHING.]
How about this? It smells nasty as hell, it's gotta be potent That is my lunch! [SIGHS.]
[SOFTLY.]
Ugh.
Uh-huh.
Open your hands.
Stop messing with me! [IN SPANISH.]
Open your hands! - [GRUNTS.]
Ow! Ow! - Whoa! Whoa! This is going to require something more, something that will use all of my knowledge and skills.
And for another hundred dollars.
- Something wrong? - Yeah! We don't appreciate the upsell! Urgent care is right down the street! No doctors! Drink.
[RETCHES.]
I can't do this.
The hell you won't.
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[CHANTING.]
Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! [SCREAMS.]
[CHEERING, APPLAUDING.]
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Hey! The king's gotta go drain his royal scepter, but he'll be back to defend his crown.
[ALL.]
Yeah! [FAINT RAP MUSIC PLAYING.]
Call me the new Lil' Ricky 'cause RollerWorld ain't got nothing on us.
Oh, my bad.
I'm just looking to pee.
[PAULA.]
Hold up.
You didn't have a place to stay, you told her how much you needed her, and she still walked away? Even after all those years of knowing each other? [SCOFFS.]
You're being way too hard on yourself.
I'm sorry, but you're not the bad guy here.
Look at me.
You were honest.
That's the hard part.
She bounced.
That's the easy part.
Yeah.
I didn't think of it that way.
Let me see her.
[CHUCKLES.]
She's pretty.
[SCOFFS.]
Understatement.
Who's the guy with her? Jamal.
Or Ruby.
It's not Jamal.
And this guy doesn't look like a Ruby.
You're doing lots of worrying about someone who's obviously not worrying about you.
[ALL CHEERING.]
Ruby! Ruby! Ruby! Ruby! What up, everybody? - Yeah! - [ALL CHEERING.]
I wanna give a big shout-out to Spooky.
[ALL.]
Spooky! Spooky! Spooky! [RUBY.]
Yo! I didn't wanna come tonight.
But Spooky made me come.
[ALL.]
Whoa! And now I feel great! Like a new man.
- [MAN.]
Right.
- Thank you, Spooky.
[ALL CHEERING.]
Oh! I also wanna give a shout-out to my big brother, Mario.
[ALL CHEERING.]
- I love you! - [MARIO.]
I love you! And thank you for making me an uncle in the next couple of months! [ALL.]
Whoo! You're gonna have a baby? Yeah, I'm gonna be a dad.
- Oh! - Damn! [RUBY.]
Oh, uh [STAMMERS.]
Anyways, uh, I've been in a really dark place.
But tonight, yo, you guys, you've shown me the light.
And I wanna give something back.
DJ! Spin that shit! - [MAN.]
Yeah.
- [ALL.]
Whoa! [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING.]
I'm like 4 foot 11 Nearly went to heaven But God said it wasn't my time Sent me back to spit this rhyme! Weight on my chest Got me feeling depressed Make me wanna choke Like a Spooky cigarette [ALL LAUGH.]
This is my modern day beat Since my life went to pieces The Prophet couldn't shoot straight Now I'm rolling and griefing, hey! A killer roaming the streets You better hope we never meet So I can prime it like a mic I'm a dropper! Aye! [ALL YELLING.]
- [MAN.]
Yo, Prophets - [WOMAN.]
Bitches! [ALL.]
Prophets suck! Prophets suck! Prophets suck! Prophets suck! - Prophets suck! Prophets suck! - Hey, hey.
Yo, check it out! Let's go roll up on these punk-ass fools! Yeah! Hold up! Uh, hold up.
Wait! [INDISTINCT CHATTERING.]
Yo.
What the hell just happened? - I don't think the truce just ended.
- What? Wait, what? Oh.
- Let's go, dude.
- We gotta we gotta go.
[VOCALIZING TRIBAL CHANTS.]
Now show me your hands.
This cannot be! In all my years, this has never happened.
- Unless - Unless what? - Nothing.
- Nah D Don't tease! Nobody likes a tease! There is something you have come in contact with that is very, very bad.
Are you saying we have a bigger problem on our hands than her hands? Is there something hidden in your house? Something that does not belong there? - Well - Nothing! We, she touched nothing! Nothing new, nothing old.
Isn't that right, Abuelita? Whatever that nothing is, it is something! And that something in your house does not belong there.
It is cursed.
[GASPS.]
Oh! [BANGS.]
Sorry, Rosario, but you are getting a very harshly-worded Yelp review! We came here looking for a cure and you upsold us on a bag of - a bag of dicks! - [ROSARIO.]
What? I didn't even use my bag of dicks! - [ALARM RINGS.]
- Oh.
That's my 11:30.
I'm gonna notarize a court petition.
Don't move! [CHIMES.]
We're out of here.
This is bullshit.
Or is it? Think about it.
Those guys who stole the RollerWorld money Frankie, Benito, Lil' Ricky, all dead.
And then you find the money, and look what happened to Ruby and Olivia.
And now you give it to me and look! She's making shit up! - Nothing's happened to me.
- Not yet! Look.
Rosario is a slut, and yes, I still hate her for selling me bad weed in '83, but she comes from a long line of curanderas.
Curanderas who see things that we can't see.
[YAWNS.]
Who knew you had skills on the mic? Some things can't be denied.
[CHUCKLES.]
Thank you.
I had a really good time tonight.
[SIGHS.]
You know when Mom called that night from the hospital? I felt this cold, sick feeling throughout my body.
And it wasn't just because you almost died.
But at that moment, I thought of how shitty I treated you growing up.
How I hated when Mom would buy us matching shirts or how annoyed I was when you'd tag along with me and my friends and how you always liked the same music I liked.
I just wanted to be like you.
Don't.
Be better.
I'm sorry for being shitty.
I didn't know how awesome my brother was then, but I do now.
Can I tell you something? This is pretty comfy! Told you.
And if either of us sports wood in their sleep, the other will never know.
[RUBY CHUCKLES.]
[AMBER.]
Um, please don't stain my maternity pillow.
You think they're together? I think you don't wanna know what I think.
Look, the best thing you can do is just take your mind off her.
Well, my shift's up, so I'm gonna go, unless you wanna put in some overtime? [JAMAL.]
Think about it! It all makes sense.
The night I found the money, Ruby and Olivia got shot.
Then, I get busted by coach, and now, Abuelita's fingers are all Freaky Friday and I can't Jamal! There's no curse.
Let it go.
Just go to sleep.
Okay.
You're right.
[CESAR SIGHS.]
["IF THEY ONLY KNEW" PLAYING.]
- But what if - You're not cursed! I'm not cursed.
Curses are just justifications for people's bad choices.
You didn't do anything wrong.
And neither did I.
If I was cursed, I'd feel guilty about things with Monse.
But I don't, so good night.
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
Left me alone right after You caught me up I never thought I'd be the one To ever fall in love I can't escape the things you do Even after you're gone But, baby, I follow you still Oh, I loved you You ride through the dark I like the way you laugh The way you see it fall apart Now I can never be the same That I was at the start Girl, come on, make it, babe SDH created by Salonee Kadam
Bow down to Money Bunny and get your cash fast.
[MAN ON RADIO.]
The LAPD has issued an APB after four men in monster masks pulled off a brazen midday heist at Freeridge Savings.
Security footage shows That's less than a mile from here.
[TURNS OFF RADIO.]
[SIGHS DEEPLY.]
Bad news doesn't sell barbecue.
And you're folding wrong.
It's triangles, not rectangles.
Paula! This is Dwayne's, not Hooters.
The only belly we serve is pork.
[MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO.]
Staring at your phone isn't gonna change things.
It's been almost a month and she hasn't hit you back? Should I send her something or go over there? What would you do? I'd distract myself.
With work.
At my job! I just miss the sound of her voice.
Are we talking about the same Monse? [SIGHS.]
I miss her hair.
How she sucks No, no, no! Her lips, when she's nervous.
[CELL PHONE VIBRATING.]
Mario? That's weird.
Hello? Dude, I I need your help.
Ruby won't get out of bed.
Oh, he finally got that Tempur-Pedic.
No.
No.
He's he's just in a massive funk.
Yes, but no.
- Did you try tickling him? - Tickling? [SCOFFS.]
It's too hard to explain.
I know all his spots.
I'll be right over.
Okay.
Got to go.
Ruby needs me.
You're in charge while I'm gone.
Be back soon.
I - ¿Qué onda, compa? - What's up, man? How are you? - Heard the good news.
Congrats, Papa.
- Yeah.
Thanks, man.
Baby mama cravings? - No, these are for Ruby.
- [MAN ON RADIO.]
We go live now to Maria Sanchez with an update on the Freeridge robbery.
[IN SPANISH.]
Turn it up.
[WOMAN ON RADIO.]
Police have tracked down a stolen and abandoned vehicle used by the bank robbers.
The LAPD is asking for the public's help in identifying the suspects - who are still - So how's Little Man? Oh, you know, he's been better.
- He's been through it.
- Yeah, man.
Uh, never seen him like this before.
Been monitoring him and nothing will get him out of bed.
Nothing? Mario, I just wanna sleep.
Wakey-wakey, biatch! You got a lot of furry friends.
They're the twins.
You named them? No.
That's my brother-in Doesn't matter.
Get up.
- We're going to a party.
- I'm not in a celebratory mood.
I've lost people, too.
- Then you should know how I feel.
- Yep.
So let's go.
A party isn't gonna help.
- Don't make me carry you.
- [RUBY SIGHS.]
[MARIO.]
Can I come, too? Please? - [DOOR BANGS.]
- [JAMAL.]
Ruby? He's not here.
Why call in the doctor when there's no patient? Where'd he go? Don't know, don't care.
- What's with the ice? - Ugh! My hands are no good.
- Been almost a month.
- A month! Do you have pain? Numbness? Tingling? Radiation? [GASPS.]
Could be carpal tunnel, chicken pox, trigger finger, malaria.
I think it's arthritis.
[SIGHS.]
- [ABUELITA MOANS.]
- You know, you're a real hero for working through the pain.
No, I'm not working.
- Then what's happening with the money? - Nothing.
Listen.
I'm picking up what you're putting down.
But you need to hit the track, woman.
I can't jog right now.
Ain't talking jogging.
You need to run those stacks, feel me? Jamal I can't make cream if I can't milk.
We gotta get in urgent care now.
I don't do doctors.
Dammit, woman! Fine! [EXHALES DEEPLY.]
Then we go to the curandera.
La curandera? Rosario? No! That woman is dead to me.
Pick your poison.
["CARA LINDA" PLAYING.]
How's this supposed to make me feel better? - We just got here.
- And I already wanna leave.
- Yo, let's dip.
No one's gonna notice.
- No, dude.
Having a good time? - Honestly - The best time.
- [IN SPANISH.]
Above.
- [IN SPANISH.]
Below.
- To the center.
- And inside.
- Dude, relax.
We're at a party! - A Santos party.
It's not like someone's gonna come here and whack the place up with the truce and all, all right? So just breathe, have a drink, or four.
I'm not gonna tell Mom.
Look.
Think of today as a rare chance to hang with your big bro.
All right? 'Cause tonight I got you.
I got you! Doesn't that look like Oh, shit! It's Angelica.
Oh, my God.
I can't face her.
I'm I'm a dropout living at home.
I'm a cliché! - [SOFTLY.]
Am I a cliché? - Yeah.
Kind of.
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
I gotta hide.
I don't wanna be here.
I don't wanna be here.
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
You, with the shaved head.
And you with the other shaved head.
[IN SPANISH.]
Come here.
feng shui these things now.
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
Okay, who brought the apps? I respect the attempt, but come on.
A chip must support the dip, the veggies should be served cold, and the guac is store-bought.
What kind of a Mexican are you? - Yeah, man! - This party flow is all wrong, people.
I want stations.
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
Okay, we need to fix this sitch now.
This is so weird.
I can't believe I let you drag me here! - Higher plane, woman.
Higher plane.
- [SCOFFS.]
Marisol.
Rosario.
I see the years have not been kind to you.
And gravity is not your friend.
Is your husband still dead? You still got the herpes? At least I am getting laid.
Once a skank, always a skank! - Yeah, well it takes one to know one! - Excuse me! Enough slut-shaming! And not to mention, one in six people have herpes, so let's not stigmatize.
How can I help you? My friend here is having a problem with her hands.
Too many back alley handies? You Ow! Ow! I don't need this shit! No.
- Jamal! - Don't "Jamal" me! [SOFTLY.]
Do you want 35% of nothing? Ugh.
Do what you have to do.
[SPITS.]
["IMMORTALES" PLAYING.]
Hey, uh, what are you doing? Righting a wrong.
I mean, who uses mismatched plasticware? Is this a spork? Useless! Great.
Listen.
I was I was wrong earlier.
I should've I should've listened and respected your feelings.
So if you're still feeling uncomfortable here, we should bail.
Like like, now.
Seriously? More sporks? [EXHALES.]
Hey, uh, you? Uh.
So how's Berkeley? Oh, good.
I mean I mean great, really great.
Uh, I went hard the first semester.
I landed an internship and I, uh, I got a girlfriend.
Um, she's white.
That goes without saying.
So I guess I am a man of my word.
[CHUCKLES.]
Uh, yeah, and she's rich, like, generational wealth rich.
Like 401k and all that stuff.
Yeah, and they have a boat, so I'm learning how to sail.
[CHUCKLES.]
So, when in Rome, right? Except we're gonna be in the Hamptons this summer.
Summering.
Uh Yeah, I just wanted you to know that.
Yeah, so, um Well, it was great talking to you.
It's all about north to south.
Not east to west.
Get more juice that way.
[SPANKS.]
Enjoy the party.
And Ruben's back! - - [PHONE KEYBOARD TICKING.]
[CHUCKLES.]
Don't send it.
I'm not sending anything.
- Don't know what you're talking about.
- She's ghosting you.
[CHUCKLES.]
She's not like that.
Sure seems that way.
I know it seems that way, but she's [EXHALES DEEPLY.]
She's ghosting me.
I deserve it.
You blow her off for your friends? - No.
- You step out? - No.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Then what's her problem? I gave her an ultimatum.
An ultimatum? I asked her to choose me or her mom.
You're cute, but you're dumb.
[JAMAL.]
Don't get too close! This is gonna work, right? I need her back on the street, like yesterday.
- What is that? - Birch water and hummingbird blood.
- Hummingbird? - [ROSARIO.]
Uh-huh.
Why not a crow? Or an eagle, or an emu, something to kick this into a higher gear? Who has been doing this for 32 years? [RETCHING.]
How about this? It smells nasty as hell, it's gotta be potent That is my lunch! [SIGHS.]
[SOFTLY.]
Ugh.
Uh-huh.
Open your hands.
Stop messing with me! [IN SPANISH.]
Open your hands! - [GRUNTS.]
Ow! Ow! - Whoa! Whoa! This is going to require something more, something that will use all of my knowledge and skills.
And for another hundred dollars.
- Something wrong? - Yeah! We don't appreciate the upsell! Urgent care is right down the street! No doctors! Drink.
[RETCHES.]
I can't do this.
The hell you won't.
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[CHANTING.]
Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! [SCREAMS.]
[CHEERING, APPLAUDING.]
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Hey! The king's gotta go drain his royal scepter, but he'll be back to defend his crown.
[ALL.]
Yeah! [FAINT RAP MUSIC PLAYING.]
Call me the new Lil' Ricky 'cause RollerWorld ain't got nothing on us.
Oh, my bad.
I'm just looking to pee.
[PAULA.]
Hold up.
You didn't have a place to stay, you told her how much you needed her, and she still walked away? Even after all those years of knowing each other? [SCOFFS.]
You're being way too hard on yourself.
I'm sorry, but you're not the bad guy here.
Look at me.
You were honest.
That's the hard part.
She bounced.
That's the easy part.
Yeah.
I didn't think of it that way.
Let me see her.
[CHUCKLES.]
She's pretty.
[SCOFFS.]
Understatement.
Who's the guy with her? Jamal.
Or Ruby.
It's not Jamal.
And this guy doesn't look like a Ruby.
You're doing lots of worrying about someone who's obviously not worrying about you.
[ALL CHEERING.]
Ruby! Ruby! Ruby! Ruby! What up, everybody? - Yeah! - [ALL CHEERING.]
I wanna give a big shout-out to Spooky.
[ALL.]
Spooky! Spooky! Spooky! [RUBY.]
Yo! I didn't wanna come tonight.
But Spooky made me come.
[ALL.]
Whoa! And now I feel great! Like a new man.
- [MAN.]
Right.
- Thank you, Spooky.
[ALL CHEERING.]
Oh! I also wanna give a shout-out to my big brother, Mario.
[ALL CHEERING.]
- I love you! - [MARIO.]
I love you! And thank you for making me an uncle in the next couple of months! [ALL.]
Whoo! You're gonna have a baby? Yeah, I'm gonna be a dad.
- Oh! - Damn! [RUBY.]
Oh, uh [STAMMERS.]
Anyways, uh, I've been in a really dark place.
But tonight, yo, you guys, you've shown me the light.
And I wanna give something back.
DJ! Spin that shit! - [MAN.]
Yeah.
- [ALL.]
Whoa! [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING.]
I'm like 4 foot 11 Nearly went to heaven But God said it wasn't my time Sent me back to spit this rhyme! Weight on my chest Got me feeling depressed Make me wanna choke Like a Spooky cigarette [ALL LAUGH.]
This is my modern day beat Since my life went to pieces The Prophet couldn't shoot straight Now I'm rolling and griefing, hey! A killer roaming the streets You better hope we never meet So I can prime it like a mic I'm a dropper! Aye! [ALL YELLING.]
- [MAN.]
Yo, Prophets - [WOMAN.]
Bitches! [ALL.]
Prophets suck! Prophets suck! Prophets suck! Prophets suck! - Prophets suck! Prophets suck! - Hey, hey.
Yo, check it out! Let's go roll up on these punk-ass fools! Yeah! Hold up! Uh, hold up.
Wait! [INDISTINCT CHATTERING.]
Yo.
What the hell just happened? - I don't think the truce just ended.
- What? Wait, what? Oh.
- Let's go, dude.
- We gotta we gotta go.
[VOCALIZING TRIBAL CHANTS.]
Now show me your hands.
This cannot be! In all my years, this has never happened.
- Unless - Unless what? - Nothing.
- Nah D Don't tease! Nobody likes a tease! There is something you have come in contact with that is very, very bad.
Are you saying we have a bigger problem on our hands than her hands? Is there something hidden in your house? Something that does not belong there? - Well - Nothing! We, she touched nothing! Nothing new, nothing old.
Isn't that right, Abuelita? Whatever that nothing is, it is something! And that something in your house does not belong there.
It is cursed.
[GASPS.]
Oh! [BANGS.]
Sorry, Rosario, but you are getting a very harshly-worded Yelp review! We came here looking for a cure and you upsold us on a bag of - a bag of dicks! - [ROSARIO.]
What? I didn't even use my bag of dicks! - [ALARM RINGS.]
- Oh.
That's my 11:30.
I'm gonna notarize a court petition.
Don't move! [CHIMES.]
We're out of here.
This is bullshit.
Or is it? Think about it.
Those guys who stole the RollerWorld money Frankie, Benito, Lil' Ricky, all dead.
And then you find the money, and look what happened to Ruby and Olivia.
And now you give it to me and look! She's making shit up! - Nothing's happened to me.
- Not yet! Look.
Rosario is a slut, and yes, I still hate her for selling me bad weed in '83, but she comes from a long line of curanderas.
Curanderas who see things that we can't see.
[YAWNS.]
Who knew you had skills on the mic? Some things can't be denied.
[CHUCKLES.]
Thank you.
I had a really good time tonight.
[SIGHS.]
You know when Mom called that night from the hospital? I felt this cold, sick feeling throughout my body.
And it wasn't just because you almost died.
But at that moment, I thought of how shitty I treated you growing up.
How I hated when Mom would buy us matching shirts or how annoyed I was when you'd tag along with me and my friends and how you always liked the same music I liked.
I just wanted to be like you.
Don't.
Be better.
I'm sorry for being shitty.
I didn't know how awesome my brother was then, but I do now.
Can I tell you something? This is pretty comfy! Told you.
And if either of us sports wood in their sleep, the other will never know.
[RUBY CHUCKLES.]
[AMBER.]
Um, please don't stain my maternity pillow.
You think they're together? I think you don't wanna know what I think.
Look, the best thing you can do is just take your mind off her.
Well, my shift's up, so I'm gonna go, unless you wanna put in some overtime? [JAMAL.]
Think about it! It all makes sense.
The night I found the money, Ruby and Olivia got shot.
Then, I get busted by coach, and now, Abuelita's fingers are all Freaky Friday and I can't Jamal! There's no curse.
Let it go.
Just go to sleep.
Okay.
You're right.
[CESAR SIGHS.]
["IF THEY ONLY KNEW" PLAYING.]
- But what if - You're not cursed! I'm not cursed.
Curses are just justifications for people's bad choices.
You didn't do anything wrong.
And neither did I.
If I was cursed, I'd feel guilty about things with Monse.
But I don't, so good night.
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
Left me alone right after You caught me up I never thought I'd be the one To ever fall in love I can't escape the things you do Even after you're gone But, baby, I follow you still Oh, I loved you You ride through the dark I like the way you laugh The way you see it fall apart Now I can never be the same That I was at the start Girl, come on, make it, babe SDH created by Salonee Kadam