Out With Dad (2010) s02e07 Episode Script
Out with PFLAG (Part 1)
Hi, you guys must be new comers? So who are the gay ones? Sorry.
Just trying to break the ice.
It's OK to be shy.
The way it works tonight is very simple, we're gonna go around the circle.
And everyone is gonna get a chance to introduce themselves and tell to their stories.
You can pass if you want.
Everything that's said here is confidential.
It's a safe place.
Thank you.
Thanks.
You'll be glad you came.
OK everyone! Get seats together and sit in a circle.
It's been many years now, but um I still remember my first year in a Canadian high school.
Uh we just moved here from halfway across the globe and, as I was finally getting over my home sickness and starting to settling in, I've started to realize something about myself that that I didn't like.
Something that, I didn't completely understand, and couldn't identify to talk to about this.
anyone Being queer is ostracized in my religion.
And I had never seen an LGBT person from my culture.
I had this feeling of it felt like my heritage was betraying me.
Yet, years ago on, I believe it was a Monday, someone, at lunch, had mentioned that there was gonna be a Gay-Straight Alliance forming at our school.
And that the first meeting was that Friday.
I made a quick joke about it and just changed the subject.
However as that week progressed, I found the courage to tell my brother that I was thinking of going.
And, without question, he said that he'd accompany me.
Friday had arrived, and it took all the courage I had to go to that meeting.
As I walked in, I saw some familiar faces.
A few of my classmates, my brother and a teacher that I had seen but didn't know at the time.
I was welcomed with a smile and offered snacks.
That Friday, I didn't come out of the closet.
I didn't even come out to myself! However, that Friday I had become I had come out, as an ally to the LGBT youth.
That was a big step for me, considering I had never said the word "gay" out loud, never even talked about being gay.
You have to understand that I grew up in a country where being queer is a crime punishable by death.
I am Nowmee.
Queer femme.
Immigrant to Canada.
Coming from a South Asian, Muslim family.
Those identities can never coincide.
The tenets of my culture could never let me be both.
To think that I somehow don't have an identity in my culture? It's scary.
As I go along my coming out process I struggle to find grounding in my community.
And I'm living two lives.
Away, at University, I am out and proud.
And I wear the title as President of the Gay-Straight Alliance with honour.
However every trip back home is like a walk back into the closet.
My our parents can never know.
But that's my reality, for now.
As I look back at the journey that's brought me here I am amazed.
And as I look into the future As I look into the future, I am hopeful.
I bet you're just dying to say something, aren't ya honey? Hello! Uh I'm Anwar.
I'm Nowmee's brother.
I can still remember the day that Nowmee walked into the GSA meeting.
I didn't know if she was a lesbian then.
But I'm very proud of my sister! Uh I don't think I would have the same courage as her if I was in her place.
Hum Hi, I'm Claire.
This is my mom, Marion.
Uhm I came out to my mom about uh, three months ago now.
At first, she thought I was kidding.
And then, uh when she realized that I wasn't she got really mad at me.
What did you say : "Why would you " ? "Why would you try to screw up your life on purpose?" Somehow I knew that she wouldn't get it.
But I wanted to be the one that told her.
I wanted her to hear it from me.
Uh A couple of friends at school knew.
And my little brother figured it out somehow, don't ask me how! I knew she was gonna find out sooner or later.
So I wanted to be the one who told her.
She's coming around now.
I think that she gets that this isn't a choice, and it's just who I am! So, uh Here I am! Thank you.
Hi! Thanks for the set up! Now that you all think I'm a total bitch! I I'll be the first to admit, I didn't really know much about this gay stuff.
I'm still learning.
But I love my daughter, no matter what.
She's still the same to me.
I just have to get used to to this part of who she is that I didn't know about before.
Thank you? Hello, I'm Athena.
I was 23 when I found out I'm gay.
Which was a few years ago.
I come from a very closed-minded family.
I am Greek, I was born in Cyprus.
And the people, they are they're not very accepting.
Looking back, it all makes quite sense.
Because I understand, you know, my crush on Ariel, the little mermaid.
Uhm My obsession with my best friend in middle school, who freaked out when I tried to kiss her.
I feel so stupid now.
You know, it was all right in my face, but I thought everybody is like this.
Then I I fell in love with one of my straight friends.
Anyway, I the first time I went back home after living in Toronto for a while, I went for a walk with my mom and my little brother along the beach near our house.
And I was telling my mom about Toronto and my new friends, and I also talked about her.
And I don't know how, I blurted out that I love her, and I don't know what to do.
She looks at me, and starts talking in Greek: "Are you saying you are a lesbian? No! No! No!" I was just stunned! I didn't believe I just came out like that.
I didn't mean to! Then, when we went back to where we had put our bags, I went and I wanted to talk to her.
But, she kind of pushed me away.
And she didn't even look in my eye.
You know, me and my mom used to be very close.
I didn't think anything in this world would make her not love me.
She thinks that I have destroyed my life.
She believes that I will destroy my sister's and brother's lives too, by, you know, association.
They know that, in the past, I used to be with a boy, so they think it's difficult and I can not be gay.
They think that I brainwashed myself because I want to be different.
They blame the American culture.
It's OK, you know, things can be worse.
I'm OK.
Hi, I'm Morgan.
Hum I'm sorry, I'm not really up to sharing tonight.
Uh I just came so I could feel not alone.
That's OK Morgan.
Hum why don't we all take a quick break? Have some coffee or tea.
And, uh some angel brought a fruit cake.
Text reviewed by Michel Cantigneaux Coming out isn't easy.
For anyone.
Whether you're struggling to find the words to talk about your sexual orientation or gender identity, or comforting a friend or a loved-one who's just come out as lesbian, gay, bisexual or trans.
Please know that you're not alone.
PFLAG Canada is there to help.
Visit them online at pflagcanada.
ca for more information, or to find a support meeting near you.
PFLAG Canada is there when no-one else is.
Just trying to break the ice.
It's OK to be shy.
The way it works tonight is very simple, we're gonna go around the circle.
And everyone is gonna get a chance to introduce themselves and tell to their stories.
You can pass if you want.
Everything that's said here is confidential.
It's a safe place.
Thank you.
Thanks.
You'll be glad you came.
OK everyone! Get seats together and sit in a circle.
It's been many years now, but um I still remember my first year in a Canadian high school.
Uh we just moved here from halfway across the globe and, as I was finally getting over my home sickness and starting to settling in, I've started to realize something about myself that that I didn't like.
Something that, I didn't completely understand, and couldn't identify to talk to about this.
anyone Being queer is ostracized in my religion.
And I had never seen an LGBT person from my culture.
I had this feeling of it felt like my heritage was betraying me.
Yet, years ago on, I believe it was a Monday, someone, at lunch, had mentioned that there was gonna be a Gay-Straight Alliance forming at our school.
And that the first meeting was that Friday.
I made a quick joke about it and just changed the subject.
However as that week progressed, I found the courage to tell my brother that I was thinking of going.
And, without question, he said that he'd accompany me.
Friday had arrived, and it took all the courage I had to go to that meeting.
As I walked in, I saw some familiar faces.
A few of my classmates, my brother and a teacher that I had seen but didn't know at the time.
I was welcomed with a smile and offered snacks.
That Friday, I didn't come out of the closet.
I didn't even come out to myself! However, that Friday I had become I had come out, as an ally to the LGBT youth.
That was a big step for me, considering I had never said the word "gay" out loud, never even talked about being gay.
You have to understand that I grew up in a country where being queer is a crime punishable by death.
I am Nowmee.
Queer femme.
Immigrant to Canada.
Coming from a South Asian, Muslim family.
Those identities can never coincide.
The tenets of my culture could never let me be both.
To think that I somehow don't have an identity in my culture? It's scary.
As I go along my coming out process I struggle to find grounding in my community.
And I'm living two lives.
Away, at University, I am out and proud.
And I wear the title as President of the Gay-Straight Alliance with honour.
However every trip back home is like a walk back into the closet.
My our parents can never know.
But that's my reality, for now.
As I look back at the journey that's brought me here I am amazed.
And as I look into the future As I look into the future, I am hopeful.
I bet you're just dying to say something, aren't ya honey? Hello! Uh I'm Anwar.
I'm Nowmee's brother.
I can still remember the day that Nowmee walked into the GSA meeting.
I didn't know if she was a lesbian then.
But I'm very proud of my sister! Uh I don't think I would have the same courage as her if I was in her place.
Hum Hi, I'm Claire.
This is my mom, Marion.
Uhm I came out to my mom about uh, three months ago now.
At first, she thought I was kidding.
And then, uh when she realized that I wasn't she got really mad at me.
What did you say : "Why would you " ? "Why would you try to screw up your life on purpose?" Somehow I knew that she wouldn't get it.
But I wanted to be the one that told her.
I wanted her to hear it from me.
Uh A couple of friends at school knew.
And my little brother figured it out somehow, don't ask me how! I knew she was gonna find out sooner or later.
So I wanted to be the one who told her.
She's coming around now.
I think that she gets that this isn't a choice, and it's just who I am! So, uh Here I am! Thank you.
Hi! Thanks for the set up! Now that you all think I'm a total bitch! I I'll be the first to admit, I didn't really know much about this gay stuff.
I'm still learning.
But I love my daughter, no matter what.
She's still the same to me.
I just have to get used to to this part of who she is that I didn't know about before.
Thank you? Hello, I'm Athena.
I was 23 when I found out I'm gay.
Which was a few years ago.
I come from a very closed-minded family.
I am Greek, I was born in Cyprus.
And the people, they are they're not very accepting.
Looking back, it all makes quite sense.
Because I understand, you know, my crush on Ariel, the little mermaid.
Uhm My obsession with my best friend in middle school, who freaked out when I tried to kiss her.
I feel so stupid now.
You know, it was all right in my face, but I thought everybody is like this.
Then I I fell in love with one of my straight friends.
Anyway, I the first time I went back home after living in Toronto for a while, I went for a walk with my mom and my little brother along the beach near our house.
And I was telling my mom about Toronto and my new friends, and I also talked about her.
And I don't know how, I blurted out that I love her, and I don't know what to do.
She looks at me, and starts talking in Greek: "Are you saying you are a lesbian? No! No! No!" I was just stunned! I didn't believe I just came out like that.
I didn't mean to! Then, when we went back to where we had put our bags, I went and I wanted to talk to her.
But, she kind of pushed me away.
And she didn't even look in my eye.
You know, me and my mom used to be very close.
I didn't think anything in this world would make her not love me.
She thinks that I have destroyed my life.
She believes that I will destroy my sister's and brother's lives too, by, you know, association.
They know that, in the past, I used to be with a boy, so they think it's difficult and I can not be gay.
They think that I brainwashed myself because I want to be different.
They blame the American culture.
It's OK, you know, things can be worse.
I'm OK.
Hi, I'm Morgan.
Hum I'm sorry, I'm not really up to sharing tonight.
Uh I just came so I could feel not alone.
That's OK Morgan.
Hum why don't we all take a quick break? Have some coffee or tea.
And, uh some angel brought a fruit cake.
Text reviewed by Michel Cantigneaux Coming out isn't easy.
For anyone.
Whether you're struggling to find the words to talk about your sexual orientation or gender identity, or comforting a friend or a loved-one who's just come out as lesbian, gay, bisexual or trans.
Please know that you're not alone.
PFLAG Canada is there to help.
Visit them online at pflagcanada.
ca for more information, or to find a support meeting near you.
PFLAG Canada is there when no-one else is.