Out With Dad (2010) s02e08 Episode Script
Out with PFLAG (Part 2)
- Rose - Hi! - This is so weird.
- Yeah.
Truthpaste: it never actually occurred to me that I might see somebody I know at one of these.
Yeah.
- So, you're - Oh yeah, I'm totally gay.
I think my mom is still in the "pretending to be OK with it" stages.
But uh those two men that you came with, are they ? Oh no! No, that's my dad and his friend.
Mmm, his "friend".
No! I mean, he really is just his friend.
I recently came out to my dad.
No way! That's awesome! I guess.
And your mom, does she know? No I don't have a mom, she died.
Ooh! I'm sorry.
It's just me and my dad.
Wherever he is.
Your dad? Oh, no.
My dad's not really a part of my life.
It's mostly just me, my mom and my brother.
And as freaked out as my mom is, at least she's playing along.
I don't know how my dad will take it.
This is the second meeting we've been to and it's been really good.
She's really learning.
- Oh my god, I'm talking too much.
- No, it's OK, um I get really quiet when I'm nervous.
OK everyone! Let's get back.
It's an emotional night, we have other stories to hear.
So let's get back in the circle.
Are you gonna share? I don't know OK See ya Hi, my name is Maureen.
I am a PFLAG Mom.
Many of you already know me, and my son David.
He came out here tonight.
He's the reason I joined PFLAG.
And, he's the bravest person I have ever known.
David came out when he was in high school.
And he'd go to school every day and he was terrorized.
Every single day.
They would call him names, they would push and shove him.
Make him feel worthless.
And he didn't get any help.
Anyone.
Not even from his teachers.
He was alone.
Oh, I tried to deal with the school system, but, you know, I couldn't affect change.
He was robbed of his education, youth, joy.
And he didn't get much relief at home either.
When I wasn't around, his siblings were as unkind to him as the people at school.
And then, there is my ex-husband.
He thought the only way to deal with it was to beat the gay out of him.
It was about that time, that David my baby, my boy, left school and didn't finish.
He moved to Toronto, from Chatham, where we used to live.
And he disappeared.
He was gone for a whole year.
He was only 17.
And I couldn't find him.
Oh, I looked, I scanned the faces, everywhere, everytime.
But I couldn't find him.
Where he was, what he did that year.
I won't ever know.
Because he doesn't talk about it.
But I do know that he started cutting.
And he considered suicide.
I'm sorry, honey, am I saying too much? No! No, go on.
He finally came home to even more trouble.
He tried to reconcile with his dad.
And ended up hospitalized.
Now I know my son is not the only brave one in this room.
I look around the room and all the faces, and I see a lot of the stories are the same.
But I cry because when I think about, and I talk about how hard it is for a mother, to see that pain, and not be able to fix it.
I'll never know what he goes through.
But he's the bravest person I know.
I don't think I need to introduce myself.
If it's alright, I'd like to tell a fun story.
I've got a lot of serious stories.
But I think I'd like to tell about the first, well, my first dance with a boy.
So, grade ten.
I was sixteen years old I was out.
I was fabulous.
And I had a pretty good group of friends.
There was a new guy to the group.
Let's call him J.
J was absolutely and utterly beautiful.
He was 6'3", 190lbs, all muscle.
He had blonde straggly hair.
And the most beautiful hazel eyes I'd ever seen.
Needless to say, I was head over heels, the moment I saw him.
As was every other girl.
So, fast forward to the last school dance of the year.
I used to love my school dances, I went to every one.
I'd go there and I'd dance with my girls and I'd get my groove on, I'd ham it up.
We'd usually make a production of the entire thing.
You know, at my school dances, it was me and the girls on the dance floor, the guys were off to the wings waiting for the slow songs.
First slow song of the night comes up, J comes over to me and asks if I want to dance.
I remember looking at him like he had three heads or something.
I thought it was a joke, I thought he'd embarrass me if I said yes.
Or worse, if I did say yes, he'd say: "Well, I'm not a fag, so deal!" I told him no.
But he kept asking.
It's the last slow dance of the night.
J comes over to me and taps me on the shoulder and he asks if he can cut in.
I mean, it's the last dance of the night.
I could go out and get some fresh air.
So I back up, so he could dance with Trish.
To my surprise though, he grabs me and he pulls me next to him.
It was with such force that I literally had to wrap my arms around him to keep from falling over.
I looked him in the eye and all I could get out was "why?" And he said: "All night you've danced with girls you've not actually had the chance to dance with anyone you actually like" "I know you've got a crush on me And I'm flattered, but I'm not gay "But I don't mind giving you this dance The tears began to well up in my eyes at that moment.
At this point, I'd never been kissed.
Never had a boy friend.
This was the closest I'd ever gotten to physical intimacy with someone I actually wanted.
I remember saying: "But all the guys are gonna assume " He told me to shut up.
And he said, "Dude, I couldn't give a shit what the morons in this school think.
" "So shut up and enjoy your dance.
" The tears were coming at full force now, I buried my head in his shoulder.
But he just, he held me, and he danced with me while I cried.
That was my first dance with a boy.
Is it OK if I go next? Go ahead sweetie.
Uh Hi, I'm Nathan.
My daughter just came out to me.
I had a hunch.
Well, more than a hunch, actually.
But she wasn't telling me.
And I'm OK with it.
But she wasn't telling me.
And that part, I wasn't OK with.
It's just the two of us.
And we've always had each other's backs.
So the thought that she was hiding something from me was killing me.
Anyway She's out now.
To me, not others.
Well, to some others.
So, it was a colossal act of stupidity when I outted her to somebody.
And it's had a profoundly negative affect on Rose I'm trying to make it right.
But as a friend of mine pointed out to me, I can't make the world a better place for my blossom.
No matter how hard I try.
Or even how hard I want to try.
I am so sorry, honey I've I really screwed up.
I know.
I'm sorry.
It's just that, all your stories I mean, you're all so brave.
That's not me.
I That'll come.
Bravery, it'll come.
It's just before anyone knew, I was still able to see my best friend.
I just want things to go back to the way that they were.
I'm so tired.
It's exhausting, being emotional.
I'm going right to bed.
Dad Thanks.
I'm really glad that we went.
Would you go again? Good night sweetie.
Text reviewed by Michel Cantigneaux Coming out isn't easy.
For anyone.
Whether you're struggling to find the words to talk about your sexual orientation or gender identity, or comforting a friend or a loved-one who's come out as lesbian, gay, bisexual or trans, please know that you're not alone.
PFLAG Canada is there to help.
Visit them online at pflagcanada.
ca for more information, or to find a support meeting near you.
PFLAG Canada is there when no-one else is.
- Yeah.
Truthpaste: it never actually occurred to me that I might see somebody I know at one of these.
Yeah.
- So, you're - Oh yeah, I'm totally gay.
I think my mom is still in the "pretending to be OK with it" stages.
But uh those two men that you came with, are they ? Oh no! No, that's my dad and his friend.
Mmm, his "friend".
No! I mean, he really is just his friend.
I recently came out to my dad.
No way! That's awesome! I guess.
And your mom, does she know? No I don't have a mom, she died.
Ooh! I'm sorry.
It's just me and my dad.
Wherever he is.
Your dad? Oh, no.
My dad's not really a part of my life.
It's mostly just me, my mom and my brother.
And as freaked out as my mom is, at least she's playing along.
I don't know how my dad will take it.
This is the second meeting we've been to and it's been really good.
She's really learning.
- Oh my god, I'm talking too much.
- No, it's OK, um I get really quiet when I'm nervous.
OK everyone! Let's get back.
It's an emotional night, we have other stories to hear.
So let's get back in the circle.
Are you gonna share? I don't know OK See ya Hi, my name is Maureen.
I am a PFLAG Mom.
Many of you already know me, and my son David.
He came out here tonight.
He's the reason I joined PFLAG.
And, he's the bravest person I have ever known.
David came out when he was in high school.
And he'd go to school every day and he was terrorized.
Every single day.
They would call him names, they would push and shove him.
Make him feel worthless.
And he didn't get any help.
Anyone.
Not even from his teachers.
He was alone.
Oh, I tried to deal with the school system, but, you know, I couldn't affect change.
He was robbed of his education, youth, joy.
And he didn't get much relief at home either.
When I wasn't around, his siblings were as unkind to him as the people at school.
And then, there is my ex-husband.
He thought the only way to deal with it was to beat the gay out of him.
It was about that time, that David my baby, my boy, left school and didn't finish.
He moved to Toronto, from Chatham, where we used to live.
And he disappeared.
He was gone for a whole year.
He was only 17.
And I couldn't find him.
Oh, I looked, I scanned the faces, everywhere, everytime.
But I couldn't find him.
Where he was, what he did that year.
I won't ever know.
Because he doesn't talk about it.
But I do know that he started cutting.
And he considered suicide.
I'm sorry, honey, am I saying too much? No! No, go on.
He finally came home to even more trouble.
He tried to reconcile with his dad.
And ended up hospitalized.
Now I know my son is not the only brave one in this room.
I look around the room and all the faces, and I see a lot of the stories are the same.
But I cry because when I think about, and I talk about how hard it is for a mother, to see that pain, and not be able to fix it.
I'll never know what he goes through.
But he's the bravest person I know.
I don't think I need to introduce myself.
If it's alright, I'd like to tell a fun story.
I've got a lot of serious stories.
But I think I'd like to tell about the first, well, my first dance with a boy.
So, grade ten.
I was sixteen years old I was out.
I was fabulous.
And I had a pretty good group of friends.
There was a new guy to the group.
Let's call him J.
J was absolutely and utterly beautiful.
He was 6'3", 190lbs, all muscle.
He had blonde straggly hair.
And the most beautiful hazel eyes I'd ever seen.
Needless to say, I was head over heels, the moment I saw him.
As was every other girl.
So, fast forward to the last school dance of the year.
I used to love my school dances, I went to every one.
I'd go there and I'd dance with my girls and I'd get my groove on, I'd ham it up.
We'd usually make a production of the entire thing.
You know, at my school dances, it was me and the girls on the dance floor, the guys were off to the wings waiting for the slow songs.
First slow song of the night comes up, J comes over to me and asks if I want to dance.
I remember looking at him like he had three heads or something.
I thought it was a joke, I thought he'd embarrass me if I said yes.
Or worse, if I did say yes, he'd say: "Well, I'm not a fag, so deal!" I told him no.
But he kept asking.
It's the last slow dance of the night.
J comes over to me and taps me on the shoulder and he asks if he can cut in.
I mean, it's the last dance of the night.
I could go out and get some fresh air.
So I back up, so he could dance with Trish.
To my surprise though, he grabs me and he pulls me next to him.
It was with such force that I literally had to wrap my arms around him to keep from falling over.
I looked him in the eye and all I could get out was "why?" And he said: "All night you've danced with girls you've not actually had the chance to dance with anyone you actually like" "I know you've got a crush on me And I'm flattered, but I'm not gay "But I don't mind giving you this dance The tears began to well up in my eyes at that moment.
At this point, I'd never been kissed.
Never had a boy friend.
This was the closest I'd ever gotten to physical intimacy with someone I actually wanted.
I remember saying: "But all the guys are gonna assume " He told me to shut up.
And he said, "Dude, I couldn't give a shit what the morons in this school think.
" "So shut up and enjoy your dance.
" The tears were coming at full force now, I buried my head in his shoulder.
But he just, he held me, and he danced with me while I cried.
That was my first dance with a boy.
Is it OK if I go next? Go ahead sweetie.
Uh Hi, I'm Nathan.
My daughter just came out to me.
I had a hunch.
Well, more than a hunch, actually.
But she wasn't telling me.
And I'm OK with it.
But she wasn't telling me.
And that part, I wasn't OK with.
It's just the two of us.
And we've always had each other's backs.
So the thought that she was hiding something from me was killing me.
Anyway She's out now.
To me, not others.
Well, to some others.
So, it was a colossal act of stupidity when I outted her to somebody.
And it's had a profoundly negative affect on Rose I'm trying to make it right.
But as a friend of mine pointed out to me, I can't make the world a better place for my blossom.
No matter how hard I try.
Or even how hard I want to try.
I am so sorry, honey I've I really screwed up.
I know.
I'm sorry.
It's just that, all your stories I mean, you're all so brave.
That's not me.
I That'll come.
Bravery, it'll come.
It's just before anyone knew, I was still able to see my best friend.
I just want things to go back to the way that they were.
I'm so tired.
It's exhausting, being emotional.
I'm going right to bed.
Dad Thanks.
I'm really glad that we went.
Would you go again? Good night sweetie.
Text reviewed by Michel Cantigneaux Coming out isn't easy.
For anyone.
Whether you're struggling to find the words to talk about your sexual orientation or gender identity, or comforting a friend or a loved-one who's come out as lesbian, gay, bisexual or trans, please know that you're not alone.
PFLAG Canada is there to help.
Visit them online at pflagcanada.
ca for more information, or to find a support meeting near you.
PFLAG Canada is there when no-one else is.