Ozark (2017) s01e04 Episode Script

Tonight We Improvise

1 ["Can't You Hear Me Knocking" plays.]
[Marty.]
Okay.
Money Laundering 101.
Say you come across a suitcase with five million bucks in it.
What would you buy? A yacht? A mansion? A sports car? Sorry.
The IRS won't let you buy anything of value with it.
So you better get that money into the banking system.
But here's the problem.
That dirty money is too clean.
Looks like it just came out of a bank vault.
You gotta age it up.
Crumple it.
Drag it through the dirt.
Run it over with your car.
Anything to make it look like it's been around the block.
Next, you need a cash business.
Something pleasant and joyful with books that are easily manipulated.
No credit card receipts, etcetera.
You mix the five million with the cash from the joyful business.
That mixture goes from an American bank to a bank from any country that doesn't have to listen to the IRS.
It then goes into a standard checking account and voilà.
All you need is access to one of over three million terminals, because your work is done.
Your money's clean.
It's as legitimate as anybody else's.
[indistinct chatter in Spanish.]
Hi.
What? You don't recognize me without my tits in your face? How's it going, Raven? Actually, my name's Margaret.
- You got that pay stub? - [softly.]
Yeah.
Great.
Are they all like this? With no company name? Just a number? [Raven.]
Mm-hmm.
- What about the safe? - It's in the office.
- You sure? - Yeah.
It's black, made of steel.
Has one of those dials you turn, like on my high school locker.
There you go.
So, where to? - What do you mean? - I'm supposed to fuck you now, right? Oh, no.
Mm-mm.
- What, suck you off? - No, we're good.
Can you give that to the waiter for me, please? [Marty.]
It closed.
Forty over asking.
[Wendy.]
Jonah was born in that house.
And Charlotte was born in another one.
We sold that, too.
You sentimentalize property, you can kiss profits goodbye.
- [sighs.]
- I've been thinking about this a lot.
And I I know that we're not in the best I know that trust isn't at its, you know, zenith.
Spit it out, Wendy.
If we were to unsentimentally consider how to protect this little nest egg, for the sake of the kids, given that the feds have been to our house Are you saying you wanna put the assets in your name? - Seems like the smart thing to do.
- That's never gonna happen.
If you get arrested, they can freeze everything.
That's not gonna happen, either.
What if I, uh What if we did something with the money? Maybe real estate? - Real estate.
- As an investment.
Wendy, I'm trying to save our fucking lives here, not help your new career.
[door opens and closes.]
[geese honking nearby.]
[vultures screeching.]
[Jonah.]
Does it hurt? What? - Dying.
- [chuckles.]
Life hurts.
[Jonah.]
Last year, a 12-year-old kid from my school died.
He had cancer.
[Buddy.]
Well "We're born astride the grave.
" [sighs.]
- You know what that means? - No.
Sit down.
It means [sighs.]
that we're all dying the minute we're born.
Goes fast.
Don't waste it.
Don't waste it.
Would you die without that oxygen? Hey, I don't know.
Am I dead yet? Hmm? [chuckles.]
Yeah.
Wanna try? It's cold.
[boat engine revving in distance.]
[soft guitar song playing.]
I had a house up on a hill With a little garden Eduardo, Eduardo [in Spanish.]
Excuse me.
[in English.]
Uh, listen.
[in Spanish.]
I hear you.
[men.]
Whoo! - [Marty in English.]
Yeah.
- [men chuckle, chatter.]
- Uh, listen, Eduardo Sí, sí.
- [man.]
Not bad.
Not bad.
Yeah.
Sí.
Sí, sí, sí.
Uh-huh.
Well, uh [in Spanish.]
Could you represent me in a deal? Um Would that constitute a conflict of interest? No? Gracias, amigo.
[in English.]
Okay.
Uh, Charlotte, um, any chance you can throw on a windbreaker or something? - It's 94 degrees outside.
- Yeah, well, if it's readers you're after, why don't you put some Shakespeare on your ass? Well, that's smart.
You know, it's 2017, Dad.
It's not okay to slut-shame.
Well, it's not okay to wear, you know, Jonah's shorts.
Unbelievable.
[Rachel.]
What's that about you needing a lawyer? [Marty.]
Don't know what you're talking about.
[in Spanish.]
I didn't know you spoke Spanish.
[in English.]
Uh, three years in high school.
Sounded pretty fluent to me.
Mr.
Azria was a real ballbuster.
- So, Chicago.
That makes you a Cubs fan? - Yeah, proudly.
Lifelong affliction, or just since it got fashionable? [chuckles.]
Uh I grew up in, uh, in South Bend and kinda came with the territory, you know, like God and football.
- Mm.
- And football.
[Marty chuckles.]
- Well, I was raised to hate the Cubs.
- And I was raised to hate the Cardinals.
Fifty bucks says Cards beats the Cubs in this weekend's series.
- Okay, you're on.
- [man wolf-whistles.]
Hey! She's 15, asshole! [man chuckles.]
Shut down.
[slow country song playing on jukebox.]
[woman.]
Come on, honey, sit down.
Over there.
- [man.]
All right.
- Be right there, babe.
I walked on the dark side Of everyone's everyday floor [Rachel clears throat.]
- Langmore.
- And wondrous fairies They walk through the crack In the door [song continues indistinctly.]
Who were you just texting? Why's that any of your business? 'Cause that's what this place is.
It's it's my business.
Did you know, um, last week, after the O'Connors came in for brunch, that they got home to find out that they were without jewelry, TV, stereo equipment? No? Well, I know you're only a a dishwasher, but just so we're clear here, um people have certain expectations when they come to a place like this, okay? They want clean silverware.
They want unlimited refills on their coffee.
And they wanna know that, when they are done eating and they come home, all their shit is still gonna be there.
She's a fucking thief.
[crickets chirping ringtone.]
Hello? [Del.]
How's my money, Marty? Um, it's good.
Uh, it's better than expected.
It's starting to move.
I haven't even seen a million yet.
So when you say "It's starting to move," what do you mean, like, it's Check is in the mail? Uh, you're gonna have, um, 500 small in 48 hours.
The deal was eight large, okay? This is feeling like a slow trickle.
You know, it's not even, uh, Fourth of July.
So Ah, American Independence Day.
That's right.
You know what else comes in July? - Uh, I don't, no.
- My birthday.
You wanna know what I want for my birthday? - No.
- I want a good night's sleep a good shit and several million clean from you.
I can help with the last.
Just admit it, Marty.
You're fucked.
We're gonna kill your family, gently, and be done with all this madness.
I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say to that.
This is your clinical trial.
This is your experiment and, truth be told, I don't like experiments.
They constipate me.
Just trust me.
No, Marty, I used to trust you.
[sighs.]
Now I don't know.
- [hangs up.]
- Hello? Ruth, can I talk to you? Let's go to my office.
- Want to rent the boat tomorrow? - Yeah! Sounds like fun! Nice.
Like a like a serial killer's lair.
- I have a job for you.
- I thought I already had a job.
There's a safe in Bobby Dean's office.
I need what's inside.
You're asking me to rob a strip club? I am.
Why? This is a situation where the less you know, the better.
And what's in it for me? [sighs.]
If you wanna get ahead in business, it's questions like that, asked in that way, that you're gonna want to avoid.
- Fuck you.
Is that businesslike enough? - [groans.]
Listen, I don't like to give extraneous details.
There's a safe.
And I need the contents.
Anything else would be extraneous or counterproductive.
However, I I will admit that it is relevant to tell you that I'm offering you ten percent of what's inside.
And what's on the inside? That's where we get into the extraneous again.
It's at my risk.
I want 80%.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
As your boss, I hope I'm not gonna have to negotiate every single time I ask you to do something.
- Fifty.
- How about I ask somebody else to do it? I'm gonna give you 25%.
And that's it.
How about a nod? Great.
Thank you.
[typing.]
[sighs.]
[Bobby.]
For a stripper job, you probably should've come dressed a little more provocative.
[sultry rock music playing nearby.]
You ever dance before? A little bit.
Bullshit.
[chuckles.]
You're how old? Nineteen.
- What year were you born? - 1998.
Stripping might be every girl's dream, but it might not be for every girl.
Read me? Turn around.
Pull your pants up.
Up higher.
Up more, up your ass.
- [Ruth scoffs.]
- Okay.
Might be something to work with.
Turn back around.
So there are two types of dances.
Stage dance and a lap dance.
Now, stage dance, merely an advertisement for a lap dance.
Stage dance, guys tossing singles up there, might be interested.
But his dick ain't necessarily hard.
A lap dance now that's dancing around a hard dick.
And a hard dick presents opportunities.
You understand what I mean by that? What do I mean by that? I know what opportunities are.
Okay.
Well, you're no fucking beauty.
You know that, right? Ain't necessarily a bad thing.
More important is, you know how to tease a man.
Do you? [softly.]
I don't know.
You tell me.
What do you think I'm thinking about? - Right now.
- [exhales softly.]
All right.
Move on to the audition part of the interview.
[chuckles.]
Go on.
Close the door.
[sighs.]
Well, it ain't gonna suck itself, sweetheart.
[groans.]
What the fuck? I guess you're right.
Stripping isn't for everyone.
[groans.]
Fuck! [groaning.]
[vultures screeching.]
[screeching continues.]
[crickets chirping ringtone.]
- Hello? - I need two grand.
What? Two grand? No chance.
- I got expenses.
- What kind of expenses? The club has cameras, an alarm system.
I'm gonna have to go during business hours.
You care to tell me exactly how you plan on doing that? Yeah, it's really a situation where the less you know, the better.
Marty, you there? Marty? Um, yeah.
Whatever you need, it's fine.
[TV playing indistinctly.]
Hey.
I was just out on the lake, - and there is this property and - Um, listen, Wendy.
[stammering.]
It's half-built, it's stalled and it's for sale.
- We gotta talk about something, please.
- Look, I know Um Let me talk.
I should never have said that we should put the assets in my name.
- But I really think we can launder money - Wendy, this is about Jonah.
[Wendy.]
It could just be a phase.
I mean, I remember 13-year-old boys.
It's all raging hormones - and unparalleled cluelessness.
- Come on.
Please.
Did you or any other 13-year-olds you know go through a disemboweling-animals phase? - That's ridiculous.
- I just think he needs to find a friend.
- Someone to hang out with.
- He didn't have friends in Chicago.
No.
Well, he just hasn't found his crowd yet.
- You're being soft.
- I'm not being soft.
You are.
You're minimizing the problem, and you're rationalizing.
That's what you accuse me of doing.
No, I'm giving Jonah the benefit of the doubt.
- And what am I doing? - Maybe you could do the same.
I'm concerned.
Why should I feel guilty about that? Well, I'm concerned! - It doesn't sound like it.
- He's messing with dead animals.
- That's all we know.
- That doesn't sound like you're concerned.
I think that's a pretty big deal.
What if he's killing these animals, too? Okay, that would be That would be very different.
Exactly, that'd be very different.
It would be a thing, Wendy.
A thing we'd potentially have to deal with the rest of our lives.
I don't think we need to go there, all right? - Why not? - Not yet.
Why not? Because he's a sweet, gentle little boy.
- Quiet, please.
Quiet.
- He makes his mother Mother's Day cards out of construction paper.
I know he's a sweet boy, but he's a He can be a bit strange at times, can he not? You can admit that, right? Every once in a while? [Wendy.]
Oh, my God.
[Marty.]
What? What? - [Wendy.]
The Langmores.
- What about them? [Wendy.]
I thought they were the ones with the dead animals.
So I went over there and I threw a possum on their roof.
They're gonna think I'm fucking insane.
- [Marty.]
You what? - [Wendy.]
It's this place, Marty.
- [Marty.]
You threw a possum? - No, it's this place.
It's this place! I just I just don't know if this is any kind of place to raise a kid, any kid.
Especially if [sighs.]
If what? What if it's genetic? - It's not that.
- No, you know my brother's history.
Wendy, there's no way it's that.
[stammering.]
This is a a normal kid that is having some sort of adolescent death fixation.
That's that's normal.
Yeah, but what if he's that you know, that strange, beautiful kid who one day goes and shoots up a high school? What then? No, I, uh I grew up coming here with my dad.
Just summers, from Chicago.
But my mom hated it, though.
- Uh-huh.
You got boats? - Mm.
Uh, not anymore.
I'm more of a fly fisherman now.
- You know any anglers around here? - There's a few.
Not many.
Well, if you know someone, I'd be willing to pay them to show me spots where the water really moves, so [Russ.]
How much you talking? Uh hundred bucks? Robert Powell.
Russ Langmore.
- Good to meet you.
- Oh, the pleasure's mine.
Am I in trouble? No, it's not about being in trouble, sweetie.
No, you're not in trouble.
Not at all.
Um 'Cause I didn't mean to do anything wrong or anything.
I know.
We just wanna talk to you about what's going on, you know.
Everyone's running in every different direction.
It's, uh, you know There's a lot there's a lot going on.
And, uh things can It can be - Strange.
- Yep.
And, um it's a big adjustment, especially when you go to a town where you don't know anybody except your own family.
It can be lonely.
So um Jonah, did you kill those animals? What? Are you kidding? - [Marty.]
Concerned, more like it.
- I love animals.
[Wendy.]
I know.
That's why it seemed so strange.
Did you know that turkey vultures have a wingspan of over six feet? They feed on dead animals.
The carcasses give off a chemical that the vultures can smell over a mile away.
Jonah, are you saying that you're dragging dead animals here to the house so you can study vultures? Yeah, if you cut their bellies a little bit the vultures will come swooping down at, like, 35 miles an hour.
I was really careful to wash my hands afterwards.
Oh, good.
I was trying to tell you before about that that great big house on Sunrise Beach on Mile 18? It's not the time to talk about this.
No, but I mean, it's half-built and it's rotting, - but can't you move money - It's not the time to talk about this.
- Oh, come on! - I've had a long day - and I'm late for something.
- It's a good idea! [urinating.]
I know it.
You know it.
[sighs.]
- Got that two grand? - Yeah, what's it for? You don't want to know, Martin.
Extraneous shit.
All right.
[boys chattering indistinctly.]
What the fuck are you doing? [Ruth.]
You're clear what we talked about? - [Three.]
Don't worry.
We got this.
- Smoking stunts your growth.
All right, listen, motherfuckers.
If you deviate from the plan, I'll take a dull fucking blade and cut y'all.
[sighs heavily.]
- [indistinct chatter.]
- ["Bad Man" playing.]
Ahh, ahh Well, I suffer long Through ill and woe Done so many wrong I don't even know 'Cause I can't change [sirens wailing.]
[woman over radio.]
Report of shots fired at Lickety Splitz Night Club.
All units proceed with caution.
[officers talking indistinctly.]
["Bad Man" continues playing.]
Turn the music off! Get off the stage! Ma'am, get off the stage! [Bobby.]
Shots fired? What the fuck? Who the hell said shots fired? There were no goddamn shots fired.
I wanna see a fucking warrant.
Where the fuck are you going? - [people clamoring.]
- What? What is this? Everybody, up.
Back.
Shut the fuck up.
Jesus.
How old are you, son? All right, let's see some IDs.
[indistinct police radio chatter.]
I want my fucking lawyer.
Somebody call my lawyer right fucking now.
[crickets chirping ringtone.]
Hey, what happened? Are you crazy? I'm in here with the safe, but I can't get it open.
Why not? You really wanna know the ins and outs of a fucking Trako 5700 floor safe? No, I don't.
I want you to break into the safe and get me what's inside.
I can't.
I just I gotta get out.
Wait a second.
Wait a second.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- How big is that safe? - I don't know.
Like the size of a microwave? Go around to the back door and meet me there in five minutes.
- No, I can't.
I - Just go.
Five minutes.
Wait for me.
I'll be right there.
[grunts.]
[Marty.]
I mean, did you even have a fucking plan? A stethoscope or a bobby pin at least? Jesus Christ.
[engine starting.]
[tires screeching.]
[Ruth.]
What the fuck did you trick me into? 25% of some worthless shit? Can you just shine the light down here, please? [sighs.]
If I get popped for this, I'll be sent away for years.
For what? - Did you hear me? - Just shine the fucking light.
- Give me the light.
- Stupid ass.
[Ruth sighs.]
Oh, hang on.
This is good.
This is This is good.
What is it? [Marty.]
This is good.
That's very good.
[Petty.]
So I get to this beautiful running stream.
Just thick with grayling, trout, smooth bottom.
- Perfect water.
Just cold as tits, right? - [Russ.]
Uh-huh.
So I open my fly box.
It's not my fly box.
And it's empty.
[chuckles softly.]
What'd you do? Okay, so, what, it's early morning, it's early June.
I improvised.
I lean down.
I'm wearing these socks, right? Black socks with a red stripe.
So I start pulling on these socks.
I get about a foot of the thread, little bit of the red and then I start wrapping it around the hook.
And when I'm done, I have this thing, it looks like [chuckles.]
It looks like a bloody fucking spider that somebody stomped on or something.
- [laughs.]
- But I figure, "What the fuck.
" [Russ.]
And? Eight big browns, 12 rainbows, - in less than two hours.
- [whistles.]
Shit you not.
Ah, no such luck today.
- We missed the hatch.
- [Petty.]
Well, no worries.
It's just so good to be outside the city, you know.
[Russ.]
St.
Louis? [Petty.]
Chicago.
- [Russ.]
Uh-huh.
- Mm-hmm.
What do you do in Chicago? Retired Marine.
I got my pension before I got shot.
Hallelujah.
My old man wanted to be a Marine, but he was too much of a pussy.
He ended up Navy.
Always complaining.
Took it out on us.
He fucking hated the service.
Yeah, so did I.
I don't like being tied down, you know? It's suffocating.
And I just got out of a relationship with a freaking lunatic.
- Oh, shit.
- Yeah.
So, compared to that, not catching any fish is fucking paradise.
- Yeah? - [chuckles.]
Yeah.
So, your ex She hot at least? Not she.
He.
Don't worry.
I only fuck guys that wanna get fucked.
[Wendy.]
There you go.
[Marty.]
Good morning.
How did everybody sleep? - [Wendy.]
Hey.
- Oh, thanks.
[Wendy.]
Mm-hmm.
How'd you guys sleep, huh? I slept very, very well.
Look at this.
Great, thank you.
Everybody, okay? Charlotte, you all right? You do know that sound carries across water, don't you? What does that mean? It's not enough that you're criminals, but you gave us one chance, - a couple weeks ago - We're not criminals.
- to ask about the shit that went down.
- What are you talking about? And you threw a dead animal at somebody's house? Hey, that was supposed to be a private conversation.
You used to say, "Do whatever you're gonna do, as long as you're honest about it," right? But are either of you honest? Ever? When outright lies aren't spilling out of your mouths, you're eating fucking pancakes, - pretending everything's fine - That's enough.
when, really, last night you said you think Jonah might shoot up a school? - We were very concerned.
- Very worried.
- Jonah had an explanation - Did you say it or not? - Just tell the truth.
- You think I'd shoot up a school? - No, come on.
Of course not.
- No, sweetheart.
It's just Something you said.
Right.
Who said it? You or dad? [scoffs.]
[balcony door opens and closes.]
[Jonah.]
You think I'm weird, don't you? - No.
No.
- No, I don't.
Why should I believe anything you say when you've been lying to me my entire life? I know.
I'm grounded, no phone, no social media, no driver's license.
- I get it, okay? - No.
Actually you're right.
Wendy! Wendy! [Wendy.]
No, it's really small.
It reminds me of my hometown.
There is a complete lack of decent pizza.
The best coffee is, get this It's at the Piggly Wiggly.
And everyone here is a Cards fan.
And Jesus, it is hot.
God Almighty, it is hot.
It's not even July yet.
And it's it's really quiet.
Which you know, can either be very calming or it can drive you batshit crazy.
Anyway [sighs.]
I I I know this is insane but I just don't know who else to talk to.
And honestly, I just wanted to hear your voice.
Bye.
- [keys jangling.]
- [indistinct chatter.]
[lock buzzes.]
[Marty.]
Thank you.
The fuck are you doing here? [Marty.]
I've come to buy your strip club.
Your titty bar.
And they let you in, why? Because I offered to post your bail.
It was steep, too, with the pandering and endangering a minor, not once, but five times.
[inhales deeply.]
Um I think a fair price for the club is $200,000.
And you think you can steal my fucking club by getting me tossed in jail? I'm not stealing.
I'm buying.
I ain't selling.
Guard! [grunts.]
I'm done here.
Let me ask you a question.
When you went to post your own bail, and you noticed that your accounts were offline did you stop to wonder why? Never mind.
[door shuts and locks.]
Yeah, I don't think you're aware, but a few weeks ago I was in your club and I was talking to a few people that you employ and I found out that you like to vacation in Panama.
I thought, "Why Panama? Why not Mexico or Belize?" [inhales deeply.]
Unless it had something to do with the fact that Panama is a hub for money laundering.
I want my fucking lawyer! You want the Panamanian lawyer? The one that sets up the shell companies for you to launder your money through your club? I mean, what are the odds that we've both done considerable time in Panama? That's, like What was it? That's three to one, at least.
What are the odds that we both recognize the value of the legal community in that country? It's five to one, I'll bet you.
But what are the odds that we would both be drawn to the work of the contracts lawyers at the law firm of Machado Philipo? Those odds are very long.
Yeah? - I ain't fucking talking to you.
- It's okay.
You can just listen.
'Cause I'm just I'm thinking out loud about [sighs.]
how shell companies work, you know.
The the miracle, really, that makes it possible to move money around without countries being able to track it.
Uh, I'm just I'm fascinated by it.
What has me thoroughly taken is how a man can own and operate a company without ever putting his name on it, so that every move, every transaction, is perfectly undetectable.
Think about that.
How's that possible? How, if you never put your name on a company, do you ever even own the company? I don't get it.
I mean, it's something to ponder, isn't it? I mean, that guy would have to be in possession, physical possession, of that company's bearer shares.
Yeah? The piece of paper? The deed to his empire? It would all come down to that, wouldn't it? And if he was in possession of that piece of paper where do you think he'd keep it? You think he'd put it in a safe? In a manila envelope in the false bottom of that safe? Now, I don't go to church and I don't consider myself a Christian.
I don't consider myself anything, but I do like to think that I follow a certain code.
So, even though I now am in possession of that little piece of paper I'm not gonna take your club.
I'm gonna buy it.
And as I said I'm able to make you a very fair offer.
So One seventy-five? So, I I know that a lot of you have been through a lot, and and I appreciate your patience.
I I won't take much of your time.
I just wanted to simply introduce myself.
My name is is Marty Byrde and, as of now, I'm the proud owner of this gentlemen's club.
Uh, I'm not gonna stand up here and disparage your former boss.
You all know that this club was breaking laws.
Uh, the one thing that I that I wanna say, I wanna make crystal clear is that, you know, you all have rights.
You have the right to self-esteem.
- [woman.]
That's right.
- The right to self-respect.
Not to mention the respect of the customers, the respect of the employers, myself included.
- [woman.]
Yeah.
- Yeah? I'm just I'm happy to say that, uh, things are changing around here.
All for the better.
- [woman.]
Mm-hmm.
- Uh, in short none of you are are ever gonna have to give another blowjob again.
[women chuckling, murmuring, scoffing.]
How the hell do you expect us to make a living then? [woman.]
Mm-hmm.
- Here's fine.
- No, no, no.
I can pull up your driveway.
I've got plenty of gas.
So, uh, how about tomorrow? I'm busy tomorrow.
Okay.
Well, how about the day after that? - I gotta check.
Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.
[Petty.]
Whoa.
What in the hell is that? [Russ.]
Bobcats.
Uh Whoa.
Whoa.
Hey.
I'm Robert.
- Ruth.
- Oh, don't you work at the Blue Cat? I thought I saw you there.
Hey, man.
Hey, think about the day after tomorrow.
I mean, if it's about money, I can pay you more.
Like I said, I I gotta check.
Okay.
See you.
- Check what? - [truck door closes.]
- Turning down money ain't like you.
- [truck backs away.]
[horn honks.]
Why you turning down money? Money for what? Shut up, Boyd.
He's a fucking fag.
Okay.
Here's your seven grand.
That's 25% of last night's take at the club.
- Beats washing dishes, huh? - Don't act like this is a fucking gift.
You ever say, "Thank you"? Those words? In your life? I fucking earned this.
I'll take that as a no.
- [indistinct chatter.]
- [Rachel.]
Thank you.
- I see a man who could use a beer.
- Ugh.
You see correctly.
Uh, I've got some good news and some bad news.
Um start with the good news.
Uh, I have invested in another business, so I'm gonna be out of your hair for a little bit.
And, um the bad news is that, uh I'm gonna be back here, uh, in a little bit to watch the game, after which you'll likely be 50 bucks lighter.
[chuckles.]
Well, unfortunately, during game time, I will be elsewhere.
[man chuckling.]
A little local tradition.
Sunday night, while we're watching the game of the week, she's getting her fuck of the week.
[chuckles.]
Sunday nights I go down to the Rusty Hull and drink some tequila.
And then, around ten o'clock, Minnie Riperton comes on that jukebox.
Some young local thing gets me to slow dance.
Four out of five, he's gonna slip his hand down the back of my jeans.
And if he is cute I'll let him.
Oh, hey.
- Hey.
- What'll you have? - [man.]
I'll have a Miller Lite.
- Um, okay.
[Wendy.]
two, three, go! One, two, three, go! Ha! Ha! [both laughing.]
[Wendy.]
Okay.
One, two, three - One, two, three, go! - [Jonah.]
Yep.
Told ya [enters code, unlocks.]
[Wendy.]
Ha! Gotcha! One, two, three, go! [line ringing.]
[Gary over voice mail.]
Hi, it's Gary Silverberg.
Please leave a detailed message after the beep.
[voice mail beeps.]
I've been trying to tell you since yesterday about that half-built house on Sunrise Beach.
[Marty.]
Mm-hmm.
What about it? Well, I used the money from the Chicago house and I bought it.
Now, I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure you can inflate construction costs and launder money through it.
And quite frankly, I don't give a shit if you like it or not.
'Cause I feel pretty good about it.
It's a good idea, and I did it for our family.
What'd you do today for our family? Bought a strip club.
[intercom ringing.]
- [man through speaker.]
Name.
- Bobby Dean for Jacob.
[gate unlocks.]
Darlene? Could we have a couple of glasses, please? Some lemonade? Thank you.
[cell phone buzzing.]
Hello? [man on phone.]
It says, "Wendy" on my father's phone.
I think you knew him.
I I'm sure you did.
We all have lots of questions about his death, and I was wondering if you maybe had any information.
[phone clicks.]
How'd they treat you down there? Oh, you know You speak to Sheriff Nix? - My lawyer did.
- What'd he say? What lawyers say, I guess.
This Marty Byrde - I don't know what to tell you about him.
- Financial planner.
Comes from Chicago.
Appears in Lake Ozark.
Sounds like something from a newspaper headline.
I'll work it out.
What else do you know about him? Besides he washes money? How'd he come to know that's what you were doing? - [Bobby.]
That's just it.
I - Sprung a leak? I mean, but who? That's what I'm asking.
Darlene! More lemonade, please.
Redneck and a hillbilly are strolling along a country lane, talking about the Garden of Eden.
The redneck, drinking whiskey as he walks believes that Adam and Eve had every right to take that apple for, if God were kind why would he forbid them from partaking in that delicious fruit? The hillbilly listens and nods.
Then the redneck finishes the bottle and throws it onto the path.
When the hillbilly frowns the redneck says, "Judge not, lest ye be judged.
" When the hillbilly frowns again, redneck says, "You judge doubly, you sin twice.
" Whereupon God smites the redneck dead.
Hillbilly forever silent and diligent digs the redneck's grave fashions a humble tombstone from the empty bottle, and walks on.
That eve he witnesses the most beautiful sunset ever 'fore made.
[Darlene.]
Ah.
- Oh! Oh! - Oh.
- Oh, Jesus.
Oh I I - [Darlene.]
Lord, I am sorry.
[groans.]
[grunts and gags.]
[Bobby choking.]
[gagging.]
Fucking redneck.
[machine beeps.]
- [Jonah.]
What are you doing? - You're supposed to be in bed.
Is this how you do it? It's part of it.
Could you explain all of it? ["Can't You Hear Me Knocking" plays.]
Okay.
Money Laundering 101.
Let's start with this.
Let's say you come across a suitcase with five million bucks in it.
What would you buy? A sports car? A yacht? A mansion? Well, too bad, the IRS won't let you buy anything of value - [continues indistinctly.]
- Yeah, you got satin shoes Yeah, you got plastic boots Y'all got cocaine eyes Yeah, you got speed-freak jive, now Can't you hear me knockin' On your window Can't you hear me knockin' On your window Can't you hear me knockin' Down your dirty street Yeah Help me, baby Ain't no stranger Help me, baby Ain't no stranger Help me, baby Ain't no stranger Can't you hear me knockin' Are you safe asleep? Can't you hear me knockin' Yeah, down the gaslight street, now Can't you hear me knockin' Yeah, throw me down the keys All right, now Hear me ringing Big bell tolls Hear me singing soft and low I've been begging on my knees I've been kickin' Help me, please Hear me prowlin' I'm gonna take you down Hear me growlin' Yeah, I've got flatted feet Now, now, now, now Hear me howlin' And all I'm all around your street now Hear me knockin' And all I'm all around your town
Previous EpisodeNext Episode