P-Valley (2020) s02e02 Episode Script

Seven Pounds of Pressure

1
Last week onP-Valley, y'all
Don't leave here tonight
without confirming your transfers, now.

You sho' you flipt me all my scrilla?
I need you to book me on a tour.

- What would be the draw?
- Keyshawn.

So, you wanna go on tour
in the middle of a fuckin' pandemic?
'Memba Murda Night, tho?
Get off him!
Can you imagine if you woulda
killed Derrick that night?
Keyshawn, get the fuck outta here
and go back to yo' redneck babydaddy.

Who woulda thunk Lil' Wayne
would someday
become the mayor of Chucalissa?
Me and Pastor Woodbine's
little cassinah referendum
that could is gone be
right under yo' name.

That's something
that Mayor Ruffin wanted,
and I'm committed
to honoring his legacy.

The Governor of Mississippi
has just announced
that lockdown will end next week.

I'm auditioning for some new girls.

Nobody said nuthin' 'bout
getting some new girls.

More girls in the rotation'll
give your shoulder a chance to heal.

- It's fine.

- What is this?
Promise Land still gone need
them that waterfront property.

Clifford Sayles ain't selling.

But the new owner might.

Ain't that DJ Chose over there? ♪
Mm, look like DJ Chose.
Hmm.

[DJ CHOSE.]
What's up, Roulette? ♪
What's up, Ki? ♪
What's up, Whisper?
Damn, I want all three ♪
Oh, you need to gone on ova thur
and apply to be a sweeper.

You got life all the way fucked up,
you thank I'm a ugly-ass sweeper.

[DJ CHOSE.]
What's up, Roulette? ♪
What's up, Ki? ♪
Ooh, Ashley, hey ♪
Ooh, Ashley, hey ♪
I get hard when she walk past me ♪
'Cause she thick ♪
Thi-thi-thi-thi-thi-thick thick ♪
Thi-thi-thi-thi-thi-thick thick ♪
Gimme me yo' name and gimme yo' number.

They call me Big Bone, baby.

Well, Big Bone, meet Big L.

[DJ CHOSE.]
Fuck, I want all of 'em ♪
[YING YANG TWINS.]

Booty, booty, booty ♪
Booty rocking everywhere ♪
Booty, booty, booty,
booty, rocking everywhere ♪
Booty, booty, booty, booty,
rocking everywhere ♪
Rocking everywhere,
rocking everywhere ♪
[BUBBA SPARXXX.]
I found you,
Ms.
New Booty ♪
Get it together
then bring it back to me ♪
Hit the players' club,
for 'bout a month or two ♪
Put a tan on it, then see what it do ♪
Put that out!
Get it together ♪
- Then bring it back to me ♪
- Oh, my God.

Hit the players' club ♪
For 'bout a month or two ♪
Put a tan on it, then see what it do ♪
Girl, I don't need you,
but you need me ♪
Take it off, let it flop,
shake it freely ♪
And I don't tell stories
I let 'em tell theyself ♪
And you don't gotta sell
sex, girl, it sell itself ♪
Like nuttin' else,
yeah, I'm a country boy ♪
But the big city bottom ♪
Ooo-hoo! Werk, bitch!
Werk!
Yes!
Ooh, now, that bitch ate!
Who gone beat her?!
[YING YANG TWINS.]

Booty, booty, booty ♪
Booty rocking everywhere ♪
Booty, booty, booty,
booty, rocking everywhere ♪
Booty, booty, booty, booty,
rocking everywhere ♪
Rocking everywhere,
rocking everywhere ♪
[BUBBA SPARXXX.]
I found you
Ms.
New Booty ♪
Get it together,
then bring it back to me ♪
Hit the players' club
for 'bout a month or two ♪
Put a tan on it, then see what it do ♪
I found you Ms.
New Booty ♪
Get it together,
then bring it back to me ♪
Hit the players' club
for 'bout a month or two ♪
Put a tan on it, then see what it do ♪
Get it ripe, get it right,
hit it tight ♪
Get it ripe,
get it right, hit it tight ♪
Get it ripe, get it right,
hit it tight ♪
Ooh chile, okay.

I know some of
y'all bitches gone be mad.

But thass life.

Cuz there's only a few pole assassin
spots up in 'chere for next week's
Grand Re-Re-RE Opening of The Pynk.

Just know this ain't a "no,"
just a "not yet.
" Hmm?
Now, a round of applause
for the best pole
ass-ass-ass-ass-assassin
round these hure parts
Mercedes!
All right.

When I call y'all name, I'ma
need you to come on down hure
and touch this here center pole.

- Whisper.

- Yes!
Roulette.

And the last spot goes to
- Big Bone.

- Yes, ma'am! Ha!
Big Bone.
She's got a great look.

By whooo standards?
By mine's.

And erry other man's.

Big L, don't you got some shit to fix?
See, bitches thank this shit
just about poppin' yuh booty cheeks.

You gotsta be able to
gangsta walk on the ceiling,
you want these niggahs
to throw sumthin'.

Now, you the one that said
Mercedes was gone
get to pick a pack, nanh.

Yeah, and that fat booty-bitch
ain't gone be on my pole
and can't do shit.

Well, you can teach her some tricks.

I ain't no mu'fuckin' coach.

You are, actually.

Ooh, okay, I'm ge'ting' outta hure.

Fine.

You don't want her on the pole,
I could use that face
and those titties behind the bar.

Big Bone, can you come with me, love?
Mmm
- Uncle Clifford?
- Hmm?
You just gone let her up
and disregard the bitch
thass gone be surfing on these hoes?
Chile, I ain't
- Aye, bawse.

- Yes?
Ooh.

Got some folks hure to see you.

Well, tell 'em we ain't open
yet.

Well, closed legs don't get fed.

Corbin, didn't I say don't
bring yo' ass up in hure?
And you know that ain't how
Uncle Clifford rule 1,729 go!
Well, seem like lately
the rules done switched up on allus.

- It's not that simple.

- Yeah, it is simple.

Well, no.
What do you mean? I mean
He fucking attacked me!
He put his hs on me, and he
should be fucking put in jail!
I know.

You ever- you ever heard of hearsay?
- No.
I-I told you what happened.

- It's like I'm telling you
That is what happened.

No, I understand,
but it's not admissible.

- Do you understand?
- No.

Well, you're not listening.

Oh, oh thank yuh, darling.

I just don't understand it.

Well, since no one was witness
to who or what started the fight,
the city don't feel comfortable
bringing charges.

So he's just gonna get away
with attacking me for no fucking reason?
No, no, no.

Lord knows the boy ain't perfect.

Hell, I-I was surprised
that the Dollah Sto'
even hired his ass
based on his Army record.

But if I charge Diamond
with assault and battery,
seem like I'd have to charge you too
Stay,
babe
I'll go get her.

Thank you,
Sheriff Bailey, fuh' comin' by.

I'm so glad we can finally put
all this Murda Night mess to bed.

Oh, it's my pleasure.

Is it safe to say you're not
working at The Pynk no more?
Oh, uh, no.
No-no-no-no-no-no.

Hope you ain't doing none
of that internet stuff.

Wha Unh-unh! Ain't nobody doing porn.

Okay, okay.

But I do got my own online fan base.

- What?
- Here.

Let me see.

Oh, left my readers in the car.

I'm a influencer
slash pole entertainer now!
Got me a manager and errythang.

Ooh, fact, if you ever need
any of these weight loss teas
Oh, no, no, no, no.

Don't worry 'bout me,
I want to stay a "stout junt".

Well, The Pynk surely is
the stepping stone
Uncle Clifford set it out to be, y'know?
I'm not sure she ever thought
one of her strippers
was gonna become a new owner, though
Well
Yeah.

That, um, Autumn Night
sho'll glowed up good.

Yeah, she sho'll did.

Did you ever get her real name?
You never ask a stripper her real name.

She gotta give it to you.
Gotta earn it.

Yes, ma'am.

See, bitches thank this shit easy.

Ooooh, I felt that in my scapula.

Aye, Big Mama
I can slide on thru to the 7-Eleven
pick you up some of that green alcohol.

Big L, what the fuck you laughin' fuh?
Y'all gone, get some water.

I know this lil' bitch ain't just
insinuate I was a grandmama
Aye, what you thank
'bout these new chrome poles
and this rang?
I'on know 'bout that thur rang,
but poles got less slip, less flex.

But I loves me a wobbly-ass
brass pole, tho.

Well, chrome is what
the big bawse wanted.

You mean MassaAutumn?
Yeah, I know thass right.

She mighta got us up out the hole,
but even the Devil
started out a angel
We appreciate the lil' dick offer.

But somehow we just wonder
if there might be some
bigger dick out in the sea.

Five months ago, you were right here
on your knees bucked-naked
trying to make a dollar out of 75 cent,
and now you're saying no
to ahalf a million dollars?
Have y'all walked around
Pussy Valley lately?
You can't throw a rock
without hitting five businesses
that ain't closed down
since this shit hit.

Yeah.
I'm failing to see
the logic in all of this.

My client is offering you
15 times market value.

Well, there is "market value",
and then there's "worth".

As we all know, the market
conforms to supply and demand,
need and desire.

If The Pynk were to be sold,
she would require her worth.

But need and desire
drives the value in this case.

Need and desire is worth
10 Ms, not half of one.

Ten million?
Bitch, you outcho godforsaken mind
Ah, ah, ah, aht, Corbin!
Now, you sittin' over hure
talking 'bout five months ago,
she was on her knees in this
booth shaking ass fuh cash.

It wun't but five years ago
you ain't had a pot
to piss in nor a window
to throw it out of.

Well, thank God for dead daddies.

And dead mayors, too.

See, y'all think y'all low-key slick.

Y'all trying to come scoop up The Pynk
cuz y'all thank these Promised Land folk
gone still come to Chucalissa
and build that mu'fuckin' cassinah, now.

But thanks to me, the people gotsa vote
on that mu'fuckin' cassinah, nanh.

Well, niggahs like to gamble,
so I ain't worried about that.

But I highly doubt that
these niggahs gone come out
in the middle of a pandemic
and vote fuh yo' cracker brother
Who the only cracker to vote fuh.

Chile, they ain't even got
a Club Cracker on the menu.

Just Ritz.

If this referendum go throughor not,
The Pynk is off the auction block.

The Pynk is now open to satisfy
errybody need and desire.

Uncle Clifford, yo' flyers are hure.

Excurse me, I got some
real business to take cur of.

The Pynk may be open, but best believe,
Miss Rona gone be
her number-one customer.

There will come a point
where you will want to sell,
need to sell.

And I'll be right here waitin'
with my one dollar.

Don't let the do' hit you
where the good Lord split yuh.

But, Corbin, I know you likes
a good ass whuppin',
so let it do what it do, then.

"The Pynk Grand Re-Re-Re Opening
this this Friday Night"?
Hell of a way to celebrate
your birthday tomorrow
Tomorrow's your birthday?
Happy 40th, Clifford.

Look, we fosta open up next week.

You done changed it to fuckin' tomorrow?
If you're mad the opening's
gonna be on your birthday, we could
Oh, fuck my 40th!
Don't nobody cur about that.

The Pynk just ain't ready
to open her legs just yet.

She in need of a douche bad, chile.

Plus, we ain't got no DJ!
Big L's CDs got us through Pussyland.

- Aww!
- Let him be the DJ.

Chile, I would rather
put Ernestine in plastic
and put her on the mic.

You just gone haveta move the date.

If we don't start stacking money now,
we gone find ourselves
taking Corbin up on his offer.

Is that what you want?
You know where we are
and why we are where we are,
so I suggest you follow my lead.

Heiffa, you might be the owner,
but you ain't the bawse.

You high-stepped
Yo' yellah tail up in hure
on some flodgin'-ass, perpetrating-ass,
fake-ass shit and scammed up.

Round of applause, bitch,
but you better recognize
which bitch gets the most
applause 'round 'chere.

You like the applause so much,
- maybe you should fucking DJ!
- Oooh!
Seems like that's
the only thing you good at
is running.
Yo' mouth.

Steada running this club.

Ooh, you know what?! You know what?!
Oooh, oooh, you know what?
You know what? You know what?
You know what? You know Mm-mm.

Hmm, you know what?
I'm too much of a cat
to be fucked by a kitten.

Who approved this shit?!
But that's Uncle Clifford birthday!
Is there, like, some Google Calendar
- I should be on?
- Aaht!
Don't worry about it, 'Cedes,
cuz we gone see
how Autumn-Night-LaKiesha-Hailey-Savage
do all on her lil' lonesome tomorrow
for the Grand Re-Re-RE Opening!
All right, we going ♪
Where the blessings reside,
where the blessings reside ♪
Where the blessings reside,
where the blessings reside ♪
Now, I done told y'all befo',
you know what we do ♪
We givin' out food baskets,
hand sanitizer, too ♪
You better ask somebody ♪
Cuz we do this all the time,
and that's what? ♪
Where the blessings reside,
where the blessings reside ♪
Where the blessings reside,
where the blessings reside ♪
[ERNESTINE, MOCKINGLY.]

Where the blessings reside ♪
How this hoe became a pastor
Damn.
Shit.

Lord have mercy.

What this bitch do now?
Oooh, oooh, oooh! Oooh, oooh!
Hoooh, this heiffa got me so hot!
She done moved
the Grand Re-Re-RE Opening
- to tomorrow.

- Tomorrow?
I just don't know
why you don't kill this bitch.

You know what? It don't matter.

Cuz she can burn that hoe down
to the ground if she wanna.

I ain't gone be thur!
Oooh, w-well, then maybe we can
do something fuh yuh birthday.

Maybe we can do a Boom Boom Room Zoom
with all yuh ace boon coons!
No, no, no! I don't want to do
nuthin' for my birthday!
I don't wanna see nobody
for my birthday!
I don't want nuthin'
for my birthday.

I'ma I'm finna be
a 40-year-old heiffa
still living with my Granmuva.

And I ain't had no dick
in five fuckin' months!
Well
try 15 fuckin' years without no dick!
I ain't got no sympathy fuh yo' ass.

It's been too long, Lord God.

Clifford!
Niggah, you finish cryin'?
Clifford!
No! Leave me alone!
Oh, heyell.
Never mind.

I'll do it my damn self.

Who dis smellin' like a smoke-out?
Miss Ernestine, how you been doin'?
Ah! Lil' Murda!
I can't hear you.

Take that shit off and come up hure!
Aw, I'on know, Miss Ernestine.

I was just trying to be
a lil' respectful.

Fine!
Give a bitch a hug!
I can do that.
I can do that.

Oh, goodness,
I ain't seen you in months!
But, you know, I learnt something since.

What's that?
M-I, crooked letter, crooked letter, I,
uh, crooked letter, crooked letter, I,
humpback, humpback, I.

Oooooh, chile, a bitch had forgot
how to spell Mississippi
'til that song come along.

Mm.
Mm-hmm.

Awww, I'm surprised y'all
listen to me in this house.

Aww, heyell, you famous.

I ain't too famous for you, tho.

I was just, uh, stoppin' by right quick
cuz I wanted to leave Cliff a-a message.

A message?
Yeah
You know, I, uh
been texting
I ain't never got
no reply back, you know?
I just I just wanted to
let Cliff know that I coulda
shoulda handled things different.

And I know betta now Um
Just wanted to say all that
'fo I go on tour.

Tour?! See, I told you you famous!
It's just my first one, tho.

Oh.

How I wish I could see it.

Yeah, me too.

Well, I-I'm sho' gone give
Clifford yo' message.

Thank you.

It's good seeing you, Miss Ernestine.

Mmhmm.

You talkin' 'bout missin' some dick.

Amazon just delivered it to yo' do'.

I know, babe.

I know.

But I got named the executor
of Ruffin's estate,
so I'ma have to hang around
'til the will reading.

Brit, let me call you back.

[CHILDREN.]
Down
In the valley, hanky-panky ♪
Bullfrogs jump From bank to bank ♪
They say Oooh! Ahhh! Skittle!
Skat! Big! Fat! Pow! ♪
Down in the valley Hanky-panky ♪
Bullfrogs jump From bank to bank ♪
They say Oooh! Ahhh! Skittle!
Skat! Big! Fat! Pow! ♪
Down in the valley
Hanky-panky, bullfrogs ♪
Uh, excuse me.
I was just wondering
- Oh! Uh
- That's Tydell godson, fool.

The one that was on the TV
at the funeral.

Bitch-ass niggah, you can't
just skroll up on our grass
all masked up like that.

You better take that shit off
and announce yo'self, foo!
Sorry to bother y'all.

I just see all of these water
hoses coming from his house.

Well, you know, Tydell pay
our skreet water bill
when we get a lil' behind.

And we behind five months skrong, nanh.

Some us five years skrong.

Ten K a month for water.

This fuckin' Robin Hood niggah!
Abraham!
Bitch-ass niggah.
Get that camera on.

Watch this.
Andre!
Andre!
Let's do that again, bwoy.
Watch this.

Watch this.

Tell 'em.

What you wana be when you grow up?
Superman!
Come on, little niggah,
tell 'em what you told me.

Okay, okay.
I'ma be the president.

You can't be that.

They ain't gone let you be that.

Aye maine, why don't you
shut the fuck up, niggah?
You know what?
Fuck what that niggah
over thur say, all right?
You know what?
No, fuck 'em all.
Come here.

There gone be people out here
that gone always say
what you can't do
Always talkin' about what you can't do.

So you need to show them that you can.

- You understand, little king?
- Mm.

You a king.
You heard me?
Now, I'ma tell your daddy
to kiss my Black ass.

One day you gone 'memba this
cuz I'ma show you how to do it.

Kiss my Black ass!
So, you went to the Dollah Sto'
to see Diamond, huh?
No What are you talkin' about?
I'm talkin' about you going
to the Dollah Sto'
last Thursday at 12:24 in the afternoon.

O-okay, okay, okay.

I saw him, but I just wanted a Moon Pie.

And I didn't even know
he worked there, okay?
I'm sorry.
I'm so
Don't fucking lie to me!
Don't you lie to me.

I-I knew I knew you'd get mad.

Hell, I was mad.

He he was y-yelling at people.

He even yelled at me.

Wait a minute.
He yelled at you?
Yeah.

A litt just a little bit, like
- A little.

- This motherfucker!
Derrick, please!
Derrick, what are you
Hello.

Yeah.
I'd like to file a complaint.

Yeah, the guy that works
security for the store,
he harassed my girlfriend.

Yeah.

What'd he say?
Key, what did he say?!
H-he was just hollerin'
and screamin' about wearin' a mask.

Oh, you've gotten other
complaints before?
Well, there you fuckin' go.

Y'all need to fire this fucker
before somebody fires him
from his fuckin' life!
Fuckin' asshole.

Yeah.

He sat up there,
he was straight up lying,
saying you called him
a-a "gutter nigger.
"
Who even says shit like that, ya know?
These guys'll say anything.

You know me, Key.

You know I'd never say that.

Never.

They just don't know what me
and you have been through
How'd you know I went
to the Dollah Sto'?
Sheriff mentioned he worked there,
and I get your location
sent to my phone, so
Oh
I-I just wanted to go out
and get some air
But it's dangerous out there.

Things are getting back to normal
No, no, things are never
getting back to normal, Keyshawn.

But the clubs
are opening up again, Derrick.

And Rome, like,
offered me to go on tour
- Is he fuckin' insane?
- with Lil' Murda.

Are you fuckin' insane?
You will get shot before you get sick!
Derrick, I want to perform again
- You can do it online.

- It's not the same
Yeah, it's better!
You don't need to be out there
rippin' and runnin'
to some ghetto-ass strip clubs
to make a quick buck!
When's it gonna be enough, huh?
When we finally get that house
we've been working fuh.

When we get that backyard
fuh Regal and Jayden to play in.

When we get that Jacuzzi
to make love in.

When we finally achieve our dreams.

Hey.
Hey
Tell Rome to come by, and we'll talk.

Come here.

Slow yo' roll.

You is really tryna to kill a niggah.

Well, at least I wouldn't
have to pick up a body.

- You couldn't get no tour bus?
- You got tour bus money?
'Sides, you ridin' in
a F & G Funeral Home classic,
so shut the fuck up.

Aye, it's official.

The Dirty Dozen Tour start tomorrow.

- What you doing, little niggah?
- Sorry, my dude.

I ain't gone be able to make it.

What, you staying back
and DJing at The Pynk?
Naw.
Naw.
Naw, I'm ova here in Atlanta.

This producer got fired,
and this artist wanted me
to crank in a new track for 'em.

Might be somethin' you need to jump on.

Yo, whatever, niggah.

Come on, don't be mad.

Run that beat back for a real bitch.

Awww, you drove me out here
so I'd remember how far
a niggah done come, huh?
Naw, your buggy ass
need some security
What the fuck you talking 'bout, maine?
[RICK ROSS.]
Unh ♪
Unh ♪
We blowin' money fast
on this side, niggah ♪
Catch up, niggah ♪
I think I'm Big Meech, unh
Larry Hoover ♪
Whippin' work ♪
Hallelujah ♪
One nation ♪
Under God ♪
Real niggahs gettin' money
from the fuckin' start ♪
Peanut-head-looking ass,
ugly-ass niggah.

That old Twinkie-colored,
Gucci '99-wearing-ass niggah.

Yo, this circa 2009, niggah.

Damn, you been in that long?
[RAPPER.]
from the fuckin' start ♪
My Rolls-Royce triple black ♪
Yeah.
Yeah.

[RAPPER.]
Ballin' in the club ♪
Bottles like I'm Meechy, hoe ♪
Rozay, that's my nickname ♪
Yeah.

Wodddyyy.

Why you ain't rockin'
that red and green?
Oh, I forgot you too good to be
a Hurt Village Hustler.

Here, right there.

Somebody gotta be alive
to bury all y'all niggahs.

Ah, shit.

Let's get the fuck outta here.

Yeah, he back.

[RAPPER.]
Where my comrades? ♪
Oh-ho, these niggahs got some Moon Pies?
- Those ain't for you, foo.

- Hey, hey!
Aw, shit, maine.

Look at this niggah, maine.

- 'Preciate you!
- Yeah.
Let's ride.

I just got a contract
for the whole Southeast District
of Camae's Beauty Supply.

They gone put Miss Sipp Lashes
on every counter, maine.

We already got the Miss Sipp Teas
and the Miss Sipp Waist Trainer.

And now this Dirty Dozen Tour.

Hoo!
Yeah, but a tour right now?
Her rider gone be Rihanna level, maine.

Wipe-down 'fo she even arrive
Naw.
Nah, that's not
what I'm talking about.

It's Lil' Murda.

I don't like
the way that guy looks at her.

All Blue Guap clients
get C-level suites.

Now, I don't know nuthin' about
what his manager doing for him.

That ain't none of my concern.

But the Blue Guap Princess,
she will only get the best.

Do accommodations come off
my cut of the door?
I mean, well, that's standard
And other tour amenities,
such as travel and costumes,
does that come off the door as well?
- I mean, well, you know
- I don't know, Rome.

When it's all said
and done, if my cut is
covering the operating
costs of the tour,
well, revenue will, like
- be a wash.

- Listen
All that to leave
my lil' babies right nanh?
Twelve nights feel like forever.

The Blue Guap Princess
would miss her little prince so much.

'Sides, Derrick 'bout to get
this management position.

It all just might not be worth it.

I'on know what the fuck
just happened, maine.

'Fo y'all picked me up,
she told me to slide on through
and try and convince old boy.

We might have to go Django a bitch.

Now, she tryin' to insinuate
that Blue Guap
ain't givin' her a good deal.

- Are y'all?
- What? Niggah, fuck you!
The brands that I brought on
is paying for this whole
mu'fuckin' tour.

And the only reason they comin'
is cuz of Keyshawn Black ass.

Now she ova hure tryna act like
What the fuck?!
What's wrong with this niggah, maine?
You ain't never played Killer?
- Naw.

- It's a party game.

So, basically, somebody get
picked to be The Killer.

And if they wink at you,
you gotta die 30 seconds later.

So, let me guess.

On account that it's just Lil' Murda
and Big Teak in the back
and Big Teak just died,
Lil' Murda must be The Killer.

- Bingo.

- Hey, hey, hey.

Ooooh.
How macabre.

Yeah, but we gone need
more than three niggahs
in the back of a hearse
to play it good, tho.

Yeah.

We gone need this bitch.

Ooh, ooh.
Ha ha.
Hey.

Hey, throw it, bae.
Ooh.

Hey.

Hey, we poppin' them bottles ♪
We in the section,
bitch I got the models ♪
Whole lot of ones
like we just won the lotto ♪
She eatin' that dick
and I tell her to swallow ♪
Hit that, come get that hoe
out of my section ♪
Man, look at my wrist, bitch
I'm with all that flexin' ♪
We call up the plug 'cause
we not with that textin' ♪
Our shit a little bigger ♪
'Cause, bitch I'm from Texas ♪
We poppin' them bottles ♪
I see we all breaking the rules tonight!
Fuck a socially distanced lap dance.

Fuck a mask.

You touch, you tip.

You don't, you gone have to dip.

[RAPPER.]
Our shit a little bigger ♪
'Cause, bitch, I'm from Texas ♪
We in the club
And we finna fuck it up ♪
Walk in that bitch
With the big 40 tucked ♪
Little shorty got ass
Bring that bitch to the back ♪
Bend that thing over
Then give it a smack ♪
Bitch, I'm from Texas ♪
- What is y'all hoes doin'
- Shhh!
Whisper's tryna
to listen to the universe.

Is Clancy the babydaddy?
No.

Guess I'on need to take
that paternity test, then.

Bitch, yes, you do.

Aye, Whisper and Roulette,
we gone have to do
a little run thru in the Champagne Room
- 'fo we go on.

- A bitch got it.

I said what I said.

- Ayeee!
- Ayeee!
I see the boss still tryna buss it.

Ooh.

Well, y'all better get on the floor
before I have to go all Autumn Night
and make that money for y'all.

- Autumn, we need our masks on?
- Um, Dealer's choice.

You hear that crowd?
Mm.

Means that'll be a good cut
off of the door for you.

Might be able to finally
catch up on the gym.

I can only imagine
how much you've missed this.

I know I have.

Uh-uh.

These lil' hoes got me fucked up.

Mm.

She tried it.

Hmm.

Yes, Gawd.

Clifford!
Can you please take out
the fucking trash?!
It stank worser than a hoe coochie
after the first of the month.

I thought the Devil didn't say grace.

I ain't the only one in this family
who gets high!
Grandmuva, I don't know
what you is smelling.

I already took the trash out.

You ain't take out all that recycling.

Ahhh, thass some funny shit.

This bitch tryna run me up out my club.

Well, she bouta to come up
missing in her own mirror.

Fuck this shit.
I'm goin'
What the fuck?!
Oh, heyell! Get off
Fuck this!
Grandmuva!
No, no! No, no, no!
Shh, shh, shh.

Ridin' in the car
with the body in the trunk ♪
Pop the trunk, slap the punk ♪
Goin' on a ride, busta ♪
Ski masks on, so it's on ♪
Goin' for the kill, sucka ♪
Jump trick, boy, jump,
act like you want some ♪
Twelve to your dome, trick, jump ♪
Where Uncle Clifford?
She's not here for the night.

Well, Autumn Falls,
you need to tell yo' new girl,
Big Bone, that her ass
cannot be twerking on the bar!
She s'posed to be
Pourin' shit, not poppin' shit!
Now all the bottle girls think
they can be throwin' ass, too.

Okay, Toy.
Let me handle this.

The pendulum say you are not
the baby-daddy, Clancy.

I want a real test!
You sure you the one?
Hell, yeah.
I swear 'fo God it was me!
Guys, guys, guys,
what's Uncle Clifford's rule
You not Uncle Clifford!
And I want a mu'fuckin' paternity test!
Hey, don't make me call security.

Maine, fuck security!
Big L, you supposed to be
on the ones and twos, not the fire!
I'm tryna do both!
Our Father who fart in heaven
Oooh! Oh! Oooh!
Forgive me of all my trespasses.

Fuh that time that I fucked Lacey
big brother after Sunday school
or fuh that time me
and Big L held up that bank.

And for that time I helped
chop up that maine body
and threw him in the river.

Oh, sweet Jesus!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, UNCLE CLIFFORD!
Bitch, you fucked Lacey's
big brother at church, bitch?
I was just playing.
I was just
I'm at my birthday party
Ooh, looking like a runaway slave.

- Girl!
- With these ashy feet!
And no cocoa butter in sight!
If only we all had
a Granmuva like Ernestine.

We know you ain't get a chance
to go to your own prom.

So that's why tonight, bitch,
we crown you as the Prom Quing!
We gonna start this shit off right ♪
We got New Orleans
in the house tonight ♪
Tonight, tonight ♪
Who's the man with the master plan? ♪
The J, the I, the M, the I ♪
Who's the man with the master plan? ♪
The J, the I, the M, the I ♪
Who's the man with the master plan? ♪
The J, the I, the M, the I ♪
Who's the man with the master plan? ♪
It's Jimi ♪
It's Jimi ♪
Uh, where they at, hoe?
Uh, where they at, hoe? ♪
Uh, where they at, hoe?
Uh, where they at, hoe? ♪
Uh, where they at, hoe?
Uh, where they at, hoe? ♪
Uh, where they at, hoe?
Uh, where they at, hoe? ♪
Uh, do it, baby, stick it,
baby, do it, baby, stick it ♪
Baby, do it, baby, stick it,
uh, stick it, baby, do it ♪
Uh, do it, baby, stick it,
baby, do it, baby, stick it ♪
Baby, do it, baby, stick it,
uh, stick it, baby, do it ♪
Uh, shake that ass
like a salt shaker ♪
Shake, shake that ass
like a salt shaker ♪
[SINGER.]
I can't see anyone but you ♪
[CHORUS.]
Sha bop, sha bop ♪
Sha bop, sha bop ♪
[SINGER.]
Are the stars out tonight? ♪
[CHORUS.]
Sha bop, sha bop ♪
[SINGER.]
I don't know
if it's cloudy or bright ♪
I only have eyes ♪
For you ♪
And five, six, seven, eight.

Do we have to do it on a count?
I just like when a bitch flying
on the music, not the
Whisper, you wanna axe it a question?
Actually, I do.

Wait, we ain't
finished markin' this shit.

Come on.

Ask it somethin'.

Heyell, you won't, I will.

Is a bitch gone make bank tonight?
It says yes.

Now it's yo' turn.

Where are y'all?
I need y'all on the floor now!
Ooh-ooh!
I get to split my wig
'fo y'all heiffas do.

Bitch, you thought you was dead!
I knew it was y'all ass.

Thass why I was saying all of that mess.

But y'all sho'll did made a bitch
thank about her mortality
tonight, tho
Well, what you wish for?
Hoe, wouldn't you wanna know?
Ooh!
Fine-ass trade, 12 o'clock.

Unh-unh.

Chile, he might be ugly
'neath that mask.

Well, butter my butt
and call me a biscuit,
cuz that niggah is phoine!
Gone ova thur and try it.

Next thang you know, yo' ass
gone be bent over a jukebox
getting your back blowed out,
and 'fo you know it,
your heart'll be shattered
into a million fuckin' pieces
on the VIP booth floor.

And the only thing that's gone
put it back together again
is 153 bottles of Crown Royal.

Well, that explains the cape you got.

Mmmmmmm!
Bitch thass yo' son?!
Monroe!
What?!
If that chile what you want,
you better go get him.

If anything this pandemy done taught me,
it's that Uncle Clifford
rule number 92 is the truth
"Life is like cocaine.

It can be blowed at any minute.
"
Mm, well, Nineveh sure know
about some blowin'.

Ooh.

The last time I seen yo' ass in jail,
you was in there for solicitin'.

- Chile
- Hoein' ass.

What, you gone give me a job
working the pole at The Pynk?
Heiffa, you know these niggahs
No, no! No! No!
Maybe the House Mother, tho
Uh-uh, come on, aunties,
y'all know I hate it
when y'all fight like this.

Uh-huh! Clifford steady
stay clownin' me.

I like where I'm at and what I'm doing.

Do you?
Oh, Nineveh, don't be that way.

Nineveh!
Ooh, come on, aunties! This
y'all song, for real, for real.

Let's hit the floor.

Come on, Clifford.

Fine.

Let me go get me a pair of skates.

I hope they got my size.

Mm, I thought you was gone go all night
without getting yo' skate on.

Niggah, what?
I need to see them lips so I can hure.

Now, what you say now?
What size you wear?
13 and a half
14 on a bad day.

Gettin', gettin', gettin' ♪
Happy Birthday.

I was gettin' some head ♪
Gettin', gettin' some head ♪
I was gettin' some head ♪
Gettin', gettin' some head ♪
I was gettin' some head ♪
Gettin', gettin' some head ♪
I was with the kind of girl
that make your toes pop ♪
I can't give my Granmuva
the Rona, chile.

Hmm.

I was gettin' some head ♪
Gettin', gettin' some head ♪
I was gettin' some head ♪
Gettin', gettin' some head ♪
I was with the kind of girl
that make your toes pop ♪
[SHAWNNA.]
You know, niggas
want a bitch like me ♪
Oh, y'all thought
The Pynk done her last dance.

But this a whole new day,
a whole new Pynk!
Welcome to the stage Mercedes,
Whisper and Roulette!
AKA Earth, Wind & Fi-YAAHHH!
[BEYONCÉ.]
Shoulders sideways ♪
Smack it, smack it in the air ♪
Legs movin' side to side,
smack it in the air ♪
Legs movin' side to side,
smack it in the air ♪
Shoulders sideways ♪
Smack it, smack it in the air ♪
Smack it, smack it in the air ♪
Aww, shit!
[BEYONCÉ.]
Legs movin' side to side ♪
Smack it, smack it in the air ♪
There she go!
[BEYONCÉ.]
Wave your hands,
side to side ♪
Put it in the air ♪
Wave your hands, side to side ♪
Put it in the air ♪
Clap, clap, clap,
like you don't care ♪
Smack that, clap, clap, clap,
like you don't care ♪
I know you care ♪
Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap it ♪
Put up, my hands up,
I put up, my hands up ♪
I put up, my hands up ♪
then I'm spinnin' all my hands up ♪
Spinnin' while my hands up ♪
Spinnin' while my hands up ♪
Spinnin' while my hands up ♪
Then I'm tippin' all my hands up ♪
Spinnin', I'm spinnin' ♪
I'm spinnin' while my hands up ♪
I'm spinnin', I'm spinnin' ♪
I'm spinnin' while my hands up ♪
Hold that cup like alcohol,
hold that cup like alcohol ♪
Hold that cup like alcohol,
don't you drop that alcohol ♪
Never drop that alcohol,
never drop that alcohol ♪
I know you thinkin' about alcohol ♪
I know I'm thinkin'
About that alcohol ♪
These bitches is
cartwheeling down the pole!
Did y'all see that?!
[BEYONCÉ.]
Seven twice, man,
seven twice ♪
Shoulders sideways ♪
Smack it, smack it in the air ♪
Legs movin' side to side,
smack it in the air ♪
Yo, look up thur!
Smack it in the air,
smack it in the air ♪
Smack it, smack it in the air ♪
Smack it in the air ♪
Smack it, smack it in the air ♪
Wave your hands, side to side ♪
Wave your hands, side to side ♪
Wave your hands from side to side ♪
Wave your hands side to side ♪
Mercedes! Mercedes! Mercedes! Mercedes!
Mercedes! Mercedes!
Mercedes! Mercedes! Mercedes!
[BEYONCÉ.]
Sweatin' out my blowout ♪
Sweatin' out my presses
this trick about to go off ♪
Mad 'cause I'm so fresh ♪
Fresher than you ♪
[BEYONCÉ.]
Fresher than you ♪
Fresher than you, oh ♪
- Where am I?
- I came as soon as I could.

Hospital over capacity, but
I knew right whur to take yuh.

Diamond
Whatchu think? Is it bad?
It's not broken or dislocated.

It feels so heavy, tho
- What happened?
- I don't know.

I went in fuh that last move,
and my arm just gave out.

It's like it was too heavy.

It's been feeling that way.

Since that night?
Lie on your stomach.

What the fuck?!
Chile, if Diamond can do that
without touchin' you,
Jus' thank what that dick can do.

Hey, c'mon.

It's all right.
It's all right.

Just extracted
seven pounds out your shoulder.

Seven pounds sound real 'pecific
Well, one thing I know fuh sho
You haveta put seven pounds of pressure
to pull the trigger of a gun.

This all yo' fault!
- It's okay.

- Yo' fault!
- It's okay.
It's gone be okay.

- I'ma get caught!
How you gone get caught?
How you gone get caught?
The only folks up in that room
was me and that one right thur.

Why do you have Montavius' ring?
His hag ain't gone be ridin' me.

I had to fix him, and that root work
gone make sho' he stay
where he been lain.

But, Diamond, we can't
have evidence layin' 'round.

Y'know, with all due respect,
it was me and Big L's hands
that was last on him.

Look, I'mthe one that made
sure he ain't never be found.

Hmm.

Thass my protection
and yours
Diamond
I think we need you back at The Pynk.

Yeah, I could use another job
I lost the one I had today.

But, I think it's just best
I don't come back 'round thur.

That night just brought up a lot
We could sage the building.

Take yo'
touch hunger ass on somewhere, guh.

Diamond, believe me, we understand.

Let's get you on home.

"I brought her
and her kid into my house,
but then she walked out on me
like a thief in the night.
"
He says that to me in my nightmares.

He said it to me that night.

But I came back.

- I came back for you.

- It took you a while, tho.

I'ma need you to get yo' shit
and get on out.

I-I'm still looking, and tomorrow
It can't wait 'til tomorrow.

I've sacrificed enough.

I'ma need you out tonight.

I was thinkin' maybe we could
get Jayden that toddler bed
and maybe finally gettin'
that AC fixed,
since we all be at home all the time.

Key, I
I didn't get the job, so
Oh.

I didn't know.

We've been so good, Derrick.

We haven't fought in days.

I know.

Last time we fought,
you promised me
that you would start trustin' me.

Mm-hmm.

Well
Lil' Murda and 'nem
leavin' in the mornin'.

- Key
- You're gonna have to trust me.

I almost killed a man fuh you, Derrick.

I love you.

Let me take care of you
the way took care of me, baby.

What you say, baby?
Fuck yes
[SINGER.]
Oh, oh ♪
Oh, oh ♪
I'm lonely ♪
I'm lonely ♪
Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
I'm lonely ♪
I'm lonely ♪
Four o'clock in the morning, baby ♪
And I'm all alone ♪
Waitin' on a telephone call, baby ♪
I-I wanna moan ♪
I-I know I can't call no doctor ♪
Doctor can't cure my ills ♪
I need you, baby ♪
Yeah ♪
To cure my ill ♪
I'm lonely ♪
I'm lonely, baby ♪
I'm lonely, baby ♪
I need ♪
I need your love, baby ♪
Oh, I ♪
I been wanting to call
your number, but ♪
Every time I call, your
brother answer the phone ♪
Yeah ♪
And he say, "What
in the hell do you want, D? ♪"
I-I want you leave my sister alone" ♪
All right, I, I ♪
I been tryin' to get
in contact with you, baby ♪
But I, I ♪
You see, my money's
kind of funny, my gas is low ♪
Hey, but I ♪
I want to keep on trying, baby ♪
Till I ♪
Why's everybody gone?
Pynk usually don't close
'til five in the morning.

[SINGER.]
Oh, baby ♪
What are you doing here?
Front door was open.

Damn it, Big L.

Why you even still in town?
I was named executor of Ruffin's estate.

I'll be here for a Mississippi minute.

Seems like you will, too,
since you ain't interested in selling.

Well
I'm waiting on that big-dick offer.

You gonna give it?
Corbin's offer is double
the trouble you put me in
when you saved The Pynk
for a quarter mil at that auction.

But we both know what Promised Land
is willing to offer
for their need and desire.

And what does your partner
think about that?
It's just a building.

It's not like it's somebody's home.

So, seems like that big-dick
offer come through
you ready-roll.

First woman took me in told me,
"Don't ever hang your clothes
up in the closet.

Keep it all in the bag.
"
I stay ready to roll.

Hmm.

I'm surprised you came back.

I had to pay my respect.

Wow, uh
Sorry.
Uh
Thank you for making me go
to his funeral.

You're welcome.

Oh, I ♪
I don't know ♪
How long I'll stay ♪

And, oh, I ♪
I can't tell ♪
You lie ♪
That way ♪
So, if you can believe it ♪
Since the day we first met ♪
I've had not one regret ♪
Darling, don't you forget ♪
So, if you can believe it ♪
The times I's lost I's upset ♪
I gambled Thought I'd lost it ♪
Having you in my life Was a sure bet ♪
But if you can believe ♪
If you can believe it ♪
If you can believe ♪
Oh, I, oh, I, oh, I ♪
If you can believe ♪
Oh, I, oh, I, oh, I ♪
Oh, I, oh, I, oh, I ♪
Oh, I, oh, I, oh, I ♪
Oh, I, oh, I, oh, I ♪
Oh, I, oh, I, oh, I ♪
No, I ♪
I don't know ♪
How, how long ♪
I'll stay ♪
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