P-Valley (2020) s02e03 Episode Script

1
Previously on P-Valley
My client is offerin' you
15 times market value.
Well, there is market value,
and then there's worth.
If The Pynk were to be sold,
she would require her worth.
Whisper, Roulette,
and the last spot goes to
- Big Bone.
- Yes, ma'am! Ha!
Been textin'.
I ain't neva got no reply back.
Shoulda handled things different.
And I know better now. Um
You been sayin' it and sayin' it,
that one day, I'ma come live with you.
It's gone happen.
When?
God spoke to me,
told me I was deservin' of a pulpit.
This gone be my church.
Yo' buggy ass need some security.
The the fuck?
What's wrong with this niggah, maine?
Mercedes! Mercedes!
I brought her and her kid into my house,
but then she walked out on me
like a thief in the night.
But I came back.
I came back for you.
It took you a while, tho.
I'ma need you to get yo' shit
and get on out.
Aye. It's official.
The Dirty Dozen tour start tomorrow.
What you doin', lil' niggah?
I'm doing everything you want to ♪
This'll be about a
maybe about an hour ♪
Give it to me ♪
And I'll take my fees in person now ♪
I need all that ♪
All that, aye, aye, aye. ♪
I'm your private dancer ♪
Watch me touch my toes,
let's get freaky ♪
Let's get nasty, kitty by your nose ♪
Yeah, he like the way I buss it ♪
To the left and to the right ♪
Shakin' what my mama gave me ♪
I can do this shit all night ♪
Aye, look, I'm doin'
everything you want to ♪
Aye, I'm doin'
Everything you want to ♪
Aye, I'm doin'
everything you want to ♪
I'm your private dancer,
doin' everything you want to ♪
I'm your private dancer,
so you cannot repeat that ♪
It's just me and you,
I got my legs up ♪
And your seat back,
I'm doin' what you like ♪
You got your hands on all my hips ♪
Brought the club vibes
to your livin' room ♪
And I still need to see tips ♪
Buss it open, break your back ♪
Miss no meals, I keep it fat ♪
Make it roll while I look back ♪
Warm that milk up for this cat ♪
Mmm, take that mask off nanh.
I'm tryna see yo' lips.
One pair of lips ain't enough?
You got me asshole-nekkid,
and you still feenin' fuh mo'?
Bitch, I wanna see yo' face.
How much you willin' to pay?
This much.
You take it off.
Ooh.
I knew it. I fuckin' knew it.
You so fuckin' fine.
You got them "dick-suckin' lips" too.
Mm. How much fuh that sloppy toppy, tho?
Can't suck no dick at The Pynk.
Uncle Clifford rule number fo':
"You hoe,
you out the do'!"
I guess we gone have
to hit that do' then.
I'll break a rule wit' a brick.
Where them dollas at niggah? ♪
Where them dollas at? ♪
Where them dollas at niggah? ♪
Where them dollas at? ♪
Where them dollas at niggah? ♪
Where them dollas at? ♪
Fuck a stimmy, mama jus' got paid!
Didn't I tell yuh,
if we go on at 11:11,
the divine would do the rest?
Well, can the divine do this algebra
and run up all this bank fuh me?
Yezzir!
Aye, 'Cedes.
Yo' bag ain't half empty.
It's half full.
I'm a optimistic bitch.
Mind the business that pays you.
Where them dollas at niggah? ♪
Where them dollas at? ♪
Where them dollas at? ♪
Hey, my quarterback
tore his labrum last season.
I 'memba. Oooh, you was sick.
Messed up all the sponsorships
he had lined up.
- Was a goddamn shame.
- Hmm.
Took all season to heal too.
Shit. Now this.
Now this.
Unh-unh-uh.
What I wouldn't give
fuh a sponsorship right now.
Ah, they ain't what
they all cracked up to be.
So why was you tryin' to sponsor me?
What I offered was different.
Not by much.
Athlete gets company exposure,
financial benefits in return.
Well, I don't need the exposure.
But I bet you need
that "Mercedes Experience."
So
offer still stand?
Yeah.
It's still standin' tall.
Well, we gone have to negotiate
some terms and conditions.
What, you about to have
a lawyer present, ma'am?
No. But yo' wife gone be.
What my wife got to do with this?
Unh-uh. It's no coincidence
"wife" rhymes with "knife."
'Sides, I thought she already knew.
Okay.
Farrah'll be there.
Aight.
- Straight.
- Straight.
Two boxes, please.
Unh-uh, one box per car, lil' mama.
I'm pickin' up a box for my neighbor.
Love thy neighbor, right?
Matthew 22:36, I know thass right.
Pastor Woodbine! Pastor Woodbine!
W-wait. You don't have to call her.
- Come here, look at this.
- I'll just take one.
Why you call me over here fuh, Janice?
This young lady wanna take
one more box fuh her neighbor.
Now, I know you said one box per car,
but she done came at me
with the scripture, chile,
and you know I can't resist
the good Lord's word
Thank you, good and faithful servant
I'll take it from here.
Mm-hmm.
Terricka?
Patrice.
Don't let this collar fool you.
I will stomp a mudhole
in yo' ass and walk it dry.
Hey, Grandmama.
Now thass betta.
Why you need two boxes fuh?
Like I told the lady,
it's fuh my neighbor.
Where yo' mama at?
Which one?
The one that raised you.
Shelle sleep.
At 3:00 in the afternoon?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
You sho'll look like Mercedes
when you lie.
- Sister Janice?
- Yes, Pastor?
Bring fo' boxes
and load 'em up in this car here.
Okay, nanh. I'll load it up.
Come on, nanh, help me
get these boxes in here.
Thank you, Grandmama.
Get whateva you want, maine.
You ballin' like that, foo'?
Shit, lemme get two of these hoes then.
Two of these hoes!
Ooh!
I almost peed myself!
Why Woddy be drivin' so slow fuh?
Y'all got postcards?
Aye!
Y'all hurry up, maine,
so we can take these pics.
Photo shoot, yeah, pose, pose ♪
Yeah, pose, pose,
photo shoot, pose, pose ♪
Pose, it's a photo shoot ♪
This shit here fire, maine!
Murda, keep doin' what you doin', maine,
cuz what you doin'
is all you need to do, fool
You hear me?
I got it. I got it.
Yeah, you doin' it.
Oh, there you go, ma aye.
Pose, pose ♪
Pose, pose, photo shoot ♪
Ooh, shit!
I knew it was Keyshawn ass!
- Yeah!
- She killin' him!
She killin'!
Keyshawn sho'll look like
she havin' a good ol' time
on this Dirty Dozen tour
with this Lil' Murda character.
Ask them if they wanna roll on by here.
Unh-uh.
'Sides, there is no space in The Pynk
fuh that "crooked-heiffa
crooked-heiffa bye."
Heyell, I wonder how her ass
even got outta her slave chains.
Well, we need
a new headliner for the night.
Folks got their checks,
and if they're willin'
to waste it, we need to take it.
Well, thanks to yo' ass,
Mercedes ain't gone be
a hundred in a minute, if eva.
Thanks to me?
You act like I went up there
and poured baby oil on the stage!
Uncle Clifford rule number 100.075,
"A pot of hogmogs gotta simmer
in that pot all day
in order to be any damn good."
Mercedes wun't ready fuh that
openin', and you wun't either,
on account you burn up
all my gatdamn chicken.
So it's all my fault?
Well, right nanh, it's 85% yo' fault
and 15% mine,
cuz I left yo' ass here by yo'self
to burn the house down
fuh real, fuh real!
But now, if you just want it
to be 65% yo' fault
Hm?
75%.
68%.
Fine.
69%.
69 is a real nice position to take.
It shows you can suck it and take it
all at the same damn time.
Ah, not the thermometer,
ah not the thermometer ♪
Okay!
Ah, not the thermometer ♪
Bitch, it's the nine inches ♪
Ah!
What you know about
some Skinny Pimp, Big Bone?
Oh, this just the remix from TikTok.
Chile, the Tiketh Toketh?
Ain't nothin' new under the sun, is it?
There's always something new.
Well, can't nobody replace my 'Cedes.
Errybody can be replaced.
Fact, let's try Whisper and Roulette.
Since they're Mercedes approved,
they can headline 'til she gets better.
Ooh, chile
Mercedes gone be madder
than a wet hen in heat!
But when she axe, it was yo' idea.
I'll own up to 69% of it.
Mm-hmm.
Also, we're gonna need another DJ.
Where we gone find somebody last minute?
I can DJ.
Ooh, chile, a aux cord and
a playlist do not a DJ make.
You were just throwing your
hands up to her music a minute ago.
Mm.
I suppose you can't be
no worser than Big L ass.
You best bring
yo' most poppin' playlist,
cuz we openin' doors, legs, and wallets
toni-i-ight! ♪
Amen!
Amen!
Now, as we stand
on sacred ground down here
at the old building of Delta Valley,
here to rejoice with us in our history
is Mayor Wayne Kyle.
Give it up fuh Mayor Kyle, y'all.
Thank you, Pastor Gilfield.
It is an honor to speak here today
at Delta Valley for this year's annual
Association of Black Pastors
Chicken Dinner.
Today, I wanna honor
the future of this town
and y'all's part in it.
Now, I know, there's lots goin' on,
but "we gotsta get it goin' on
fuh Chucalissa."
Yes, Lord.
Is that gone be yo' campaign slogan?
Interim Mayor Kyle,
"We gotsta get it goin' on
fuh Chucalissa"?
Well, I I can only do that
with the help of y'all.
There are a few referendums
on the ballot.
Aw, yes, yes, one of 'em
bein' fuh that casinah.
Yes, Pastor Woodbine.
I think you know that one very well,
since you're the only reason
why it's even on the ballot.
Well, the only reason you on the ballot
is cuz the mayor's dead.
But I digress.
Yes.
Me and the now-deceased Mayor Ruffin
didn't agree on everything.
But the one thing we did agree
on was that an economical
renaissance was in this town's
immediate future.
I hope y'all will impress
upon your congregations
the importance of voting yes
on that referendum
And if we don't impress fuh the yes?
Well, why would you wanna do that?
This group, I'm sure, wants to be
on the right side of history.
I, fuh one, uh,
will gladly express this, uh,
message from my pulpit, Mayor Kyle.
And I'm sure my congregation
will vote accordingly.
Well, Delta Valley might find themselves
with heavier collection plates
on account of that.
First off, not a na'an one
of y'all niggahs
need to be tellin'
y'all parishioners to vote
fuh some gatgum casinah.
Y'all think they gone give any
us folks down here jobs?
Naw.
Cuz they gone say we can't count.
- Thass right.
- Ask 'em
fuh the tax revenue
to build up these schools
so we can learn to count,
and they gone spend it all
on a golf course.
Y'all trust these white people too much.
Well, we at Breath of Life
Full Gospel Baptist Tabernacle
will not be takin' part
of turnin' Chucalissa
into Sodom and Gomorrah.
And who made this chicken?
It's too damn dry!
Oh! Let's go, let's go! ♪
Oh! Let's go, let's go! ♪
Oh! Let's go, let's go! ♪
Oh! Let's go, let's go! ♪
Oh! Let's go, let's go! ♪
Let's, let's, let's, let's ♪
Ya, ya, ya, ya ♪
Ya, ya, ya, ya ♪
I been workin' all day,
I been workin' all night ♪
Play that beat, I'ma be all right ♪
I been workin' all day,
I been workin' all night ♪
Play that beat, I'ma be all right ♪
A bitch got
chocolate-covered strawberries,
y'a-a-all!!
Only the best
fuh the Blue Guap Princess.
You know what I'm sayin'.
Where my chocolate-covered skrawberries?
Niggah, you allergic.
Where my skrawberries
and Benadryl, niggah?
There you go right there.
Say "ah," Lil' Murda.
- Wa-cha!
- Teak.
Naw, you don't wanna see this
niggah face after one of those.
Ooh! Look!
This mu'fucker here
finna break the Internet.
Wait, you already posted it?
Yo' bwoyfriend don't follow no
damn Blue Guap on the 'Gram.
Come on, girl. Look, aight.
I can delete it if you want me to.
But you just look so damn good though.
It should be fine.
Yeah, it's fine.
Yeah.
We got a little somethin' special
fuh y'all tonight, a lil' lagniappe.
I need y'all to give
a New Orleans welcome
to Lil' Murda and Miss Mississippi!
Girl down.
Ya, ya, ya.
Ain't no more lockdown.
Now it's time to celebrate.
Champagne campaign ♪
Champagne campaign ♪
Champagne campaign ♪
Champagne campaign ♪
Back outside now it's up ♪
Errbody came here to bump,
yeah, yeah ♪
Two 15s in the trunk ♪
Bet you hear a niggah
in the club, yeah, yeah ♪
Sound like a home run hit ♪
Neva scared to play my shit ♪
Shots fuh the DJ quick,
brand-new watch on my wrist ♪
When you gettin' paid like this ♪
My Black ass gotta show ♪
Dirty mouth full of gold ♪
Big money don't fold ♪
I'm a broke niggah's goals, whoa ♪
Might just pull up in a Rolls ♪
Them bitches neva seen a ghost ♪
And we did it off the stove, niggah ♪
M I crooked to the soul ♪
Murda, murda, murda, murda,
murda, murda, murda, murda ♪
Bottles by the case ♪
Ugh, neva, eva, eva
goin' broke again ♪
I done came a long way ♪
Mouth full of golds,
yo' bitch on my side ♪
Reppin' that Murda Gang shit
'til I die ♪
Most of these niggahs gone
hate just because ♪
Fuck a pandemic,
I'm still sellin' drugs ♪
Fly as a feather, lil' fella ♪
Fresh off of lock,
I might go cop a bezel ♪
Might smoke a bag
of that mu'fuckin' scrilla ♪
Beat on my chest
like a mu'fuckin' gorilla ♪
All in this Chucalissa jungle ♪
Bitch, we some killas ♪
Miss Mississippi ass soft
as a pillow ♪
Only the real ones gone
fuck with me, niggah ♪
Playin' with my city,
gone end up a victim ♪
Where you from, huh? ♪
Where we from, bruh? ♪
When you start somethin',
we fuck the club up ♪
Aye, aye, aye, aye.
Aye, you know they tryna trick
niggahs off the street, right?
And they wanna keep you
inside, but look, look.
We back outside now,
it's Champagne Campaign.
Champagne campaign ♪
Champagne campaign ♪
Champagne campaign ♪
Champagne campaign ♪
Champagne campaign ♪
Champagne campaign ♪
Yeah, that way!
We start week two
tomorrow night in Memphis.
Champagne campaign ♪
Champagne campaign ♪
Champagne campaign ♪
Champagne campaign ♪
All right, I'ma do both sides.
One
and two.
Oh, I'm a gummy bear ♪
I'm a gummy bear ♪
What's up, lil' mama?
When y'all startin' back up again?
Why you even askin'?
Shelle ain't gone let
yo' lil' ass come back.
Bet I could convince her.
Best believe I'm doin' errythang I can
to make that happen.
Mm-hmm.
What you doin'?
Workin'.
I'ma hit you back laters.
Laters.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Ooh-wee. Sweet baby Jesus!
Ooh, yes. Champagne.
Ahh.
Oh, lawd, I'm actin' like Keyshawn ass.
Mercedes.
You must be Farrah.
I am.
The place is beaurtiful.
- Beautiful?
- Mercedes.
Coach.
Yeah, I know.
The panny ain't been too kind
to me, has it?
No. It done done you good.
You just look real different
in regular lights,
than the club lights.
And you look good as ever.
We're just gonna need you
to sign on page 3 and 5,
45, 67, and these NDAs.
What the fuck ♪
Fell up in the club gangsta,
walkin' with my thugs ♪
DJ play that Duke Deuce
then we fuckin' up the club ♪
Diamond grill,
we want all gold slugs ♪
Throw your signs in the air ♪
If you don't really give a fuck ♪
What the fuck ♪
Maine, Memphis niggahs
don't give a fuck, maine.
Niggah, that can't be right.
I ain't got that Rona yet.
Pico in the building!
- What's up, lil' niggah?
- What up niggah?
Yeah!
Since when Lante lil' bruh start rockin'
that blue and gold?
- Who, Pico?
- Yeah.
Since yo' boy knocked his ass out.
What fuh?
You know I stay out
of y'all gang-gang shit.
Big Teak out?!
Damn, it's like that, maine?
Yeah, niggah.
Wait, ho-ho-hold on now.
On God, maine, we can't
have no problems tonight.
Ain't gone be none.
You know, I don't have no
problems with you, my niggah.
Ain't no beef over here.
See, I been vegan fuh two years
skraight, you hear me?
Thass good to hear, maine.
Aye, yo. Well, lookit hure, maine.
Where yo' shooter at?
Cuz that crowd gettin' ready.
So you managin' Lil' Murda or somethin'?
Heyell, naw.
- Thass all Woddy.
- Mm.
But I do rep the reason
why he poppin', tho:
Miss Mississippi.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
You reppin' Murda's lady?
That chocolate bitch is a masterpiece!
- That ain't Murda lady.
- And that niggah stay
with a bad bitch on his arm
and a mixtape in the skreets.
Well, when his next joint,
"Trade Tales", drop,
you gone owe me
some blue hunnids, niggah.
I really love these pictures
of you, Coach.
Ah, yeah. Thank you.
Farrah took 'em back when
she used to be a photographer.
I'm still a photographer.
You know what I mean, baby.
Like a professional photographer.
That shit look professional to me.
Niggah, you betta recognize.
See here? This my favorite one.
I like how you tap into
that soft masculine energy.
You know, I'on think I'm used to seeing
photos of men taken from above 'em.
It's like we always haveta
look up at 'em.
Hm.
And I like how you ain't do that,
but also still kept his power.
Y'all give me a moment.
This one of my players.
This is Coach Haynes.
Nobody's ever described
that photo like that.
It's my first time, too, you know?
First time?
Doing this.
I've never met his other hoes.
I ain't no hoe.
You're getting paid
ten thousand a weekend
and a condo
to have sex with my husband, correct?
Don't worry. I don't even get that much,
and I have to lay under him
all fuckin' week.
Wanna trade places?
Heyell, no.
Why did you ask for my permission?
It's not like you needed it.
The others surely didn't.
Cuz a bitch got her some integrity.
Hmm. Do you?
Look.
Some point in yo' life, you realize
we all hoes to somethin'.
I ain't never thought
I'd be sittin' here.
But I also never thought I'd do
a lot of shit I done already did.
'Sides, this different.
So what if I would have said no?
Then I would have respected yo' no,
hoe.
Ah.
I like to see y'all getting along.
Who was on the phone?
Look like Walker's gonna be
ready to play sooner than we thought.
Thass so good!
I know you was real worried about that.
Well, uh, let me get out of y'all's
bed.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Before you go, you gotta see this.
Oh, I see.
Naw, naw, naw. I want you to see
"The Mercedes Experience."
Not sure I need to see
this "Mercedes Experience"
that brings all the husbands
to the yard.
'Cedes, show that one trick.
You know, the one where your leg
be, like, here, and then it's bam!
It's over there.
You don't have to.
Come on, girl.
Where can I plug this in at?
I ain't here to play no games ♪
I'm gonna give it to you ♪
Just how you want it ♪
You can call me crazy ♪
Maybe you just drive me crazy ♪
Until the morning ♪
I be screamin', oh, oh, oh ♪
Oh, oh, oh ♪
Oh, oh, on you ♪
Got me sayin' oh, oh, oh ♪
Oh, oh, oh ♪
Oh, oh, on you ♪
Got me sayin' ♪
Damn ♪
Ain't no limit what I'm pullin' ♪
When I fuck on you, babe, oh, no ♪
Talk that shit, play with that clit ♪
And watch it rain on you, babe ♪
Funny how you thought I tapped out ♪
When we was fuckin' ♪
We're just gettin' started ♪
Ooh, whoa ♪
Hit it, quit it ♪
Feel that shit, get it ♪
Lick it, fuck it, feel it ♪
Touch it, ooh ♪
Uh, titties in your mouth ♪
With your tongue all out ♪
Whoa, oh-oh ♪
I ain't here to play no games ♪
Oh, I'm a gummy bear ♪
Aw, shit.
Yes, I'm a gummy bear ♪
Oh, what a yummy tummy ♪
Just how you want it ♪
You can call me crazy ♪
Maybe you just drive me crazy ♪
When you touch on it ♪
Got my legs up,
hands up, at attention ♪
You make me stand up
and switch up on it ♪
Make your head go 'round and 'round ♪
And got me makin' sounds
until the morning ♪
So now for the good news.
I, um, just talked to my daddy,
and he just might have a job for you.
Britney,
as much as I'd love to litigate
for your dad's fund
I'm gonna have to respectfully pass.
I get it. You just need more
Time.
Speaking of that,
when are you coming back?
Uh, the reading of the will
got pushed back
on account of Mookie's
diamond grill appointment
Dr. Seagram-Watkins,
another one's coding.
Got you. Uh, Andre, I'm
I'll call you back.
Oh, I'm a gummy bear ♪
- Yes, I'm a gummy bear ♪
- Shit.
One sec, y'all.
Oh, what a yummy,
tummy feeling like ♪
Terricka, I told you I'm workin'.
- Whassup?
- This is Sheriff Deputy
Jesse Bridges from the
Chucalissa Sheriff's office.
Jesse? Why you got Terricka's phone?
I pulled her over fuh underage drivin'.
She ain't got no car.
It's in the name of the passenger,
Shelle Shelton.
Passenger?
Yeah, the owner of the car
is passed out in the back,
and let's just say even God
can smell the liquor on her.
If nobody comes to pick up Terricka,
she gone have to go to the jailhouse.
Ain't no place fuh a woman,
let alone a chile.
- It's him!
- Oh, shit.
Goddamn!
Hey, my 'Sippi Cups!
The club just got toe up
from the flo' up, ya heard me?
Yeah, we was all
on that stage tonight, maine.
Yo' girl, M-I-Crooked
Letter-Crooked Letter
and Lil' Murda done bodied that
biyaah so bad we finna ride it
on out in a hearse, y'all!
Murda!
- Oh.
- Damn, bitch.
Bitch, watch where you goin'!
Murda!
- Murda! Murda!
- Aye, aye, aye.
Shawty, let me holla atchu real quick.
Niggah, is yo' name Murda?
Bitch. Fuck you mean?
Aye
Don't go disrespectin' the guh, now.
Mm. Thank you, niggah feminist.
I suggest you get lil' real quick
before I haveta bless yo' ass, niggah.
Bitch, you just ain't his type.
Well I'm a gat-toting ♪
Pistol-holding nigga on
your damn street ♪
Oh! Oh!
Throwing them bows
up at these hoes ♪
- Oh, man.
- Get get move!
We make them niggas hit the flo' ♪
Ain't no game off in this thing ♪
We be deep off in your party ♪
Where the fuck you goin', niggah?
I finna go jack these foos, niggah!
Fuck!
And run
they mouth just like a hoe ♪
Let's go! Pump the pedal!
Fuck, let's go, niggah!
Move! Fucking go!
Go, Keyshawn, GO! Damn it!
Do I need to go to The Med,
or we finna go to bed?!?
Teak, Teak, what the fuck?
Niggah, is you tryin' to start a war?
Get off of me! I'm good, niggah!
Looks like our damn security
gone need some security.
Knuck if you buck ♪
Knuck-knuck-kn-kn-kn-
knuck if you buck, boy ♪
Move, niggah! Move! Move! Move!
Keyshawn bring foolishness
everywhere she go.
Oh! Get move out of my way.
Mm, her lashes live though.
Fuck.
You welcome.
Errybody bound to start
on each other cycle.
Can you, uh?
So, you never told me
where you was from.
- Heyell.
- Funny.
I'm from heaven.
How'd you end up in this shithole then?
I found myself lost,
plans undid.
But then I listened to the wind,
and allasudden, I knew where to go.
Well, you prollly should get
yo' ears checked out then.
Yo' head too.
You really might be from heyell.
You got a lot of darkness in you.
Bitch, 'scuse you?
That wun't no shade.
We all need a little heyell
in our lives.
Makes you appreciate the light.
Whisper, Roulette, y'all ready?
Ready.
All y'all heaux must abide
by Uncle Clifford
rule number .00-twanky-five
"Wear y'all mu'fuckin' mask!"
Got to stay with yo' Corona
couture on like me, m-kay, 'kay, 'kay?
M'kay!
Oh, heyell naw!
Nineveh! Lysol her!
- I'm sprayin', I'm sprayin'!
- Lysol it
all down.
Aw, shit. This some oil sheen.
Ooh, chile, that'll do.
You done fixed yuh guts,
but you done broke yuh nose?
- It's allergies!
- Ugh!
Allergies, my ass!
You better go get you some Cluritin
and get up outta my face!
Sneezin' in a fuckin' pandemic, bitch!
Finna take all y'all
niggahs fuh a trip ♪
We throwin' ass
fuh that cash on the dick ♪
Come to The Pynk
cuz you want that biz ♪
Whoo!
It's rainin' scrillaaaa!
My bad. My bad.
Don't tell me you still
cryin' over this bitch.
Naw, I'm good. I'm good.
Boy, let's go inside
and look at this pussy.
Ooh, thank y'all fuh the lurvvv,
but I'm just the openin' act.
I'ma need y'all to give it up
fuh Whisper
and Rouuuu-lette!
Naw, I'm just playin'
'less you say I can ♪
And I'm known to be a real nasty man ♪
And they say a closed mouth
don't get fed ♪
So baby girl don't be scared ♪
You heard what I said ♪
We need to make our way to the bed ♪
So we can start getting laid ♪
Oh, hear ye, hear ye,
Pynk pony riders!
It's Whisper in the house!
Tss, Tss ♪
Tss, Tss ♪
Tss, Tss ♪
Tss ♪
Ooh!
Throw it up, Ms. New Booty Whisper.
Throw it up!
Owww!
She don't never do it how I do it ♪
She don't never ride it like I do ♪
Yes, Roulette! Get 'em!
Big bag counting big cash ♪
Tell that hoe don't touch
a stage 'less the bitch bad ♪
All them hunnids yea we run
it got a bitch mad ♪
Taking all a nigga money
got a bitch sad ♪
Ain't nobody in the club ♪
Who really do it like we do now ♪
If I drop it low you know
yo nigga wanna screw now ♪
Talking in the back then ♪
We can fight and we can chew out ♪
Winning all the dollas on the flo' ♪
What you gone do now ♪
Lights out they gone throw
it for da Roulette ♪
Whisper, she gone do it
how she do it ♪
Tip ha give a fuck about who you is ♪
Rich gul she gone do it
how she do it ♪
Lookin and watching
they think that we rookies ♪
But they can't come make a bag ♪
Without them selling da pussy ♪
But we don't do all da drama
we gone go for da kill ♪
And when he come in da club
you know he payin da bill ♪
Tip dollas tip on a bad hoe ♪
Drip on em don't slip on a bag hoe ♪
Thick bitch wit a whole
lotta ass tho ♪
When it's time to go out ♪
Body on da pole ♪
Yeah we known to take a hoe out ♪
Doin what they know bout ♪
Run em like a robot ♪
Taking every nigga in the club ♪
Bring some mo' out bitch ♪
Whoo! Throw that stimmy!
Throw that stimmy!
Mmmmm.
Ooh Ah
Roulette! I'ma getcho ass
What?
Bitch, turn my shit on!
She won't pick up the phone.
I'm trying to make things right,
but Gidget won't fuckin' let me.
Well, unless you Jesus
and her mama Lazarus,
I'on thank you can
make things right, maine.
I ain't kill her mama.
You ain't give her mama Rona?
That ain't even not the point.
Well, I beg to differ.
I was fixin' ta retire
from this connect-life shit.
Retire? But wejust
gettin' started, maine.
Well, you can have this shit. I'm thru.
After this pickup tonight,
I'm gone get my bitch a ring,
I'm gonna get her
that white picket fence
and that golden retriever
she be wantin'.
A slice of that normal pie.
Gidget don't like no normal pie!
And I reckon you don't neither.
Rule number one million:
ain't no titties on the main stage!
Sorry, Uncle Clifford!
Girl,
this bag heavier
than my mama whoopin' hand!
Girl, you were like a tornado
on that pole tonight!
Naw, bitch, that was you!
Well, then you were like
Fiyahh!
Yo, thass an impressive
spatchcock you got there.
Do what with a cock?
Do I look like a bussdown to you?
No-no-no, naw.
I said impressive "spatchcock."
You know, the thing when you
Aw, bitch, you know I'on be knowin'
the names of no move, nanh.
How you know that?
You fuck strippers or something?
- Naw.
- Yea.
Ain't nu'n wrong
with fuckin' a strippah.
Marryin' one is when you got a problem.
See, thass what I was thinkin'.
Come on, maine.
Big L, yo' break was over
15 years ago.
You the worstest security ever.
Copy. Let me gone on
and just do this front do'.
Wait on me.
Yo, yo' freen can't just be
droppin' knowledge like that
and then walk away.
She do that sometime.
You got somethin' in yo' teeth.
Let me get it out fuh you.
Open wide.
I can't believe you had
my baby drivin' yo' drunk ass!
I thought you was "sober."
Sober only last fuh so long
when you ain't got no job
That ain't no fuckin' excuse!
You know, I'll be damned
if a hoe stand 'cross from me
in my own house
and judge me
Yeah, thass right.
Throw that shit up with the rest
of all that bullshit you yappin'!
Callin' mea hoe. You got some nerve!
You the raggedy bitch had
Terricka in the driver's seat.
She a chile, Shelle.
You sho' ain't tell nobody you
was a chile when you were 15.
Not my fault my titties
and hips came in early.
Yo' titties and ass didn't lie
to Cortez about you bein' 18.
Yo' mouth did.
You neva did let that shit go!
How could I let it go?
You ruined my life.
I didn't exactly climb on toppa myself.
- Oh, it's Cortez fault now?
- Cortez was her daddy.
And when my mama said he had
to look after her,
yes, he had no choice.
But you, you did. After he died,
you stepped in like the saint
you pretended to be
and wanted to play mama to my child!
What choice I have?
You coulda given her back,
like I begged you to,
'stead of sayin' no.
- Isaid no?
- Every time I axed,
you said no!
I begged, you said no.
I pleaded, you said no!
He said no!
With his last breath,
Cortez begged me to look after her
Prolly cuz he knew you couldn't.
Just like yo' mama knew.
You think I wanna stare in the face
of his mistake every day?
I done wasted years of my life
bein' loyal to a dead man
w-who wouldn't be loyal to me
when he walked this Earth.
Ain't that some shit?
I'm Django bitch ♪
And don't forget that shit ♪
This bitch must be good
at Super Mario Brothers
the way she done skipped levels.
She gone find herself
missin' in her own mirror
she keep on
Look, I promise, baby,
I'll make it worth yo' while.
Come on, girl.
Niggah, what part of "no"
don't you understand?
- The N or the O?
- Look, shit.
Look, my homeboy told me 'bout this girl
wit' the dick-suckin' lips.
Hell, I'm lookin' fuh the chewin' bitch.
Aight? What you pursuin'?
Ugh!
Yo, where you goin', baby?
Aye!
Andre's just checking in
on Corbin's bid.
Well?
I'm not settling for less than ten.
Heiffa, yo' yellah tail gone turn blue
waiting on these whypipo
to give you $10 million.
You best settle in good, Ms. 69%.
Runnin' a club ain't easy.
But what if we could get that?
Why wouldn't you sell?
Where all these heiffas gone go?
Should that even be any of your concern?
I know if I did,
least now I'd get $3.1 million.
Well, look at that.
You actually are good at math.
Mm-hmm.
What she say?
Ooh, this bitch got life fucked up!
Would Promised Land actually
pay $10 million fuh The Pynk's land?
They might.
As she said, they got need and desire.
You gotta convince ole girl to sell.
I think she waitin' to see if
the town votes for that casino.
'Cause if it does
she might become
the most powerful person
in all of Chucalissa.
Even more powerful than yo' brother.
Yeah, cuz nobody stupid
enough to run against him.
Shit.
I would.
You wouldn't win.
Damn! You ain't got faith in a brother?
You ain't got no brand recognition.
You ain't backed by no church.
Heyell, you don't even live here.
Heyell, are you even from here?
I am from Chucalissa.
Born and mu'fuckin' raised, thank you.
Plus you wrong about one of the above.
- I got land here.
- Oh.
And I'm a registered voter,
much to my wife's chagrin.
Had to cast my vote for the
First Black Mayor
of Chucalissa.
Well, what about that?
"Tydell Ruffin's godson
picks up the baton."
You funny.
And you stupid,
but hopefully stupid
enough to run, cuz
I'd sho'll be stupid enough
to foot the bill.
- Move.
- Thank you.
Oh, there we go. That way.
Oh, damn, girl!
Tired as a mu'fuck
Uh. Oh.
Ahh, you kiss sloppy!
You welcome, niggah.
How Big Teak?
That niggah be aight.
How yo' scalp feelin'?
Less itchy.
Mm.
I told you my oil gone work.
I'ma call it Miss Sipp Hair Food.
I'on know if all of this
dandruff in yo' scalp
is from all of that bleach,
or you just, like
lovesick
Mind yo' business, shawty.
You overthinkin' it.
- I
- You green as hell, you know?
- Give me this.
- Keyshawn.
Look. Look, okay.
Niggah, "I guess I miss you?"
You denied her. Now you guessin'?
Nobody wanna play Clue up in this bitch.
What I'm gone say then, Keyshawn?
You the poet.
You like, uh,
like, uh, Shake-a-spure or somethin'.
Just go with the 27th thought.
- Hm?
- Aight.
Aight. Bet.
Niggah, "I love you?"
Thass the 27th thought?
Keyshawn,
thass the only thought.
Well,
can't fuck this up then.
Uncle Cliffords don't come
around too often in life
or in heaven.
I know what I did.
But what you do
to get kicked out the kingdom?
I couldn't believe in fairy tales.
We finna send this.
We finna send this right now!
Keyshawn, no, we not.
- Yes, we is!
- No, we ain't.
Okay, okay.
Now you done got too excited
- Whoo!
- See? See?
Keyshawn. Keyshawn, give me my damn
Okay, see?
- Yo' yo' silly ass
- Whoo!
Okay ah, see, look.
I'ma start puttin' it in my pocket.
You gone be mad.
Keyshawn, can I have my Okay.
What what is that?
Keyshawn, give me my damn
Keyshawn, give me my
Aye, aye, aye, aye ah.
- Hey. Oh.
- Damn, man.
Murda, can you mob to the store
with me real quick, maine?
Uh, yeah.
All right.
I'ma just grab my jacket.
Fuck.
I'll be back.
Bitch can't even get niggahs
some Velveeta.
I'm makin' some food. You hungry?
Was what Shelle said true?
You was only 15?
You heard all that?
Yeah
I was.
But yo' daddy ain't know that.
I lied cuz I was in a rush to grow up,
and then I I grew up.
Did you love him?
Yes.
Did he love you?
You regret it?
Gettin' pregnant was a mistake.
But havin' you was somethin'
I ain't neva regretted.
Moment I saw you, I knew you was mine.
Shit, you was yellin' up a storm.
You had to be mine.
And you are his.
You the spittin' image of him.
You may not have been planned,
but you were wanted.
Then why didn't you keep me?
I was 15.
I had to do what my mama said.
Even if it meant
givin' up the only thang
I ever called my own.
But you didn't stay 15.
I didn't.
I became a dancer, and
wun't no court was gone
give a stripper back her baby.
It seems like there's always
gonna be an excuse with you.
I'ma go to bed.
Surprised you ain't
wrapped that bitch yet.
I ain't her type.
What you mean, foo'?
Keyshawn like 'em
how I like my Air Forces,
krispy white.
Yeah, well Yeah.
Sorry about what happened earlier.
There's one thing I hate,
is a disloyal-ass niggah.
He wun't slime all the way.
He was just "affiliated,"
so I ain't trippin'.
You get into one fight,
and Pico go Chief-fi-Chief?
Niggah just ain't cut like us, maine.
Yea, you might be too cut.
You out here tryna start a war?
Naw, just tryna have yo' back, maine.
Hmm. Guess shit ain't changed.
Naw
What, maine?
Aww
'Memba yo' first night
in the cell with Boosie?
- Hmm.
- This niggah said
"Yo' muscles playin' hide and seek?"
You said, "Yeah, foo', they hidin'"
"Wit' the rest of yo' hairline."
Yah!
Then that niggah
ah.
Then that niggah shanked
the shit out of me.
Missed my mu'fuckin' kidney
by a millimeter, doc said.
You were blessed that night, you know.
And you got sent to the hole.
And Boosie got sent to his grave.
If you hadna been thur,
I wouldn't be hure
Mm-hmm.
Yo' ass was steady sendin' me those
wack-ass rhymes on lil' pieces
of toilet paper.
I'on know how you got the CO
to slide it on to me
but I was thankful,
cuz it, uh
got real dark down in that hole.
Like
bottom of the ocean dark.
And yo' lil' rhymes
They was light.
Pastor, I tried to stop 'em!
What the heyell?
"Whoever derides their neighbor
has no sense"
"But the one who has understandin'
holds their tongue."
Hmm. I wish you hadda followed
God's proverb.
Jesse.
Patrice.
"Breath of Life Full Gospel
Baptist Tabernacle
"has violated Chucalissa Mayor's Office
"executive order 2053.84
"in regards to strict social distancin'
for religious services."
Aww.
So you gone stop the saints
from clappin' fuh Christ,
but let them booty cheeks
'cross the way clap all night?
Ain't my fault you done fucked
with the wrong neighbor.
Niggah, wun't nobody talkin'
to yo' overseer ass.
Shutdown effective immediately.
So where you do you expect
me and my congregation
to meet and
cleanse Chucalissa
of the sins of yo' forefathers?
Where two or three are gathered
six feet apart, at 50% capacity,
God is there.
Mayor Kyle!
If I done messed
with the wrong neighbor,
you done fucked with the wrong bitch!
Love and happiness ♪
Yeah ♪
Something that can make you do wrong ♪
Make you do right ♪
Love ♪
"You look beautiful in red.
Lil' Murda."
Love and happiness ♪
But wait a minute,
something's going wrong ♪
Someone's on the phone ♪
Three o'clock in the morning ♪
Yeah ♪
Talkin' about ♪
How she can make it right, yeah ♪
Yeah ♪
Well, happiness is when ♪
You really feel good about somebody ♪
There's nothing wrong ♪
Being in love with someone ♪
Yeah ♪
Damn, this hoe heavy as heyell.
Oh, baby love and happiness ♪
Love and happiness ♪
Let me know when you wanna take Roulette
on another spin, baby.
Love and happiness ♪
Oh ♪
Have to say ♪
Love and happiness ♪
Make you wanna dance ♪