Packed to the Rafters (2008) s02e03 Episode Script

Living by the List

(DOG BARKS) RACH EL: (NARRATES) Our family has always been very big on lists.
Oh! There you are.
I thought maybe we could have lunch today, if you're free.
I'm catching up with Libby.
Sorry.
I don't know how long I'll be.
Oh.
I've got this.
Things to do before the baby arrives.
Spend one-on-one time with Rachel, Ben and Nathan.
There's ages to go yet.
Yeah, and time is of the essence.
That's my point.
“Visit Rome.
” Mmm! We're talking Roma in Queensland? No! Rome, Italy.
Right.
Yep.
You got some major plans here.
Yes.
And spending time with my children's the most important.
OK, well, look, I've just gotta send off some emails but I promise you we will spend some quality one-on-one time next week.
Or not, as the case may be.
Fine.
Hey, what do you think of 'Sasha' for a boy? Er, perfect.
If we're living in a gulag.
Mum always says, “A list makes life simple.
” But when does it stop being practical and start limiting your choices? G'day, Rach.
Nathan around? (CLICKS MOUSE) Nathans list was simple.
Conquer the world.
Conquer the world.
Conquer the world and then move on to Tuesday.
So the interview is tomorrow'? Yeah, and I don't want to look like a wanker.
No of fence.
None taken.
I need to make a good impression 'cause I reallyl want this job.
Well, in that case, you need to have a plan of attack.
First of all, be on time.
What loser doesn't know that'? Eye contact, Ben.
Very important.
Maintain eye contact at all times.
Speak slowly.
Try not to say 'um'.
Even if you have to pause and think about what you're trying to say, it's better than saying 'um'.
I think you probably should grab some paper write this down.
N-no I don't do lists.
Lists? No.
Who's talking lists? This is a battle plan.
I think you should wear this one.
Hmm'? Oh, and make sure that you ask questions.
Good questions, interesting questions.
Lyou shouldl really think you should write this down.
Oh, my God, Benj.
Check this out! Check this out! Rachel, are you internet dating? Oh, Nathan, get lost.
No, no, don't be embarrassed.
It's not just for losers these days.
Except someone forgot to tell him that.
Check out Rachel's new boyfriend.
Oh! Do the words 'idle curiosity' mean anything to you guys? What's going on? Rachel's looking for love on the internet.
Say it louder.
I don't think they heard you in Brisbane.
Hey, what about him? See'? Amish.
Are they allowed to have computers'? SAMMY: Stop it, both of you.
No, no.
What about this guy'? “I am so sick of meeting stuck-up cows.
" Well, you should email him, Rach.
He sounds like fun.
Nathan, there is nothing wrong with internet dating.
I wasn't internet Rachel should be applauded for putting herself out there.
Oh, my God! That's Monique! It's Monique! How embarrassing! No.
No.
I cannot believe this.
What a loser! Right.
Yep.
Enjoy.
“Successful, ambitious" Enjoy, children.
I have to get to work.
She'll die when she knows I know.
Oh, Rach! You don't have to humiliate yourself like that.
If I'd known you were looking you could've come to dinner last night.
There was a guy there, Andy.
He'd be perfect for you.
Except maybe for the fact he's only 19.
Although he's very mature for his age.
Why don't we just trawl through the high schools and be done with it? No, Rach, I could totally set you up, if you want me to.
(MEN HOLLER) I don't do blind dates.
Especially not with infants.
(MUMBLES) MAN: Mine! (GRUNTS) Ooh! Although, if something like that was to turn up What the hell are you doing? We're in the middle of a game and you wanna move it or you'll get your head kicked in! MAN: I think she likes you, mate.
No brains and contact sport.
What a brilliant combination that is.
If they just kept their mouths closed, they'd be perfect.
Oh! Which brings me back to my former position on blind dating.
No.
I mean, all I'm really looking for Well, he has to have a brain.
Always helpful.
And he just needs to be passionate about something.
As long as it's not yoga or pharmaceuticals.
Yeah, and as far as looks go, I don't really have a type.
OK, good.
That helps.
But he needs to be sexy.
No weight in proportion to height.
No short guys.
You know, preferably 5' 10".
Make that six foot.
And I do really like dark hair.
But apart from that, you're not 'picky' at all.
No.
Apart from that, I am very open.
I have the perfect man.
Marcus.
He's fantastic.
He's gorgeous.
He just came back from Cuba.
You're gonna love him.
If he's so fantastic, where have you been hiding him all this time? I told you.
Havana.
Alright.
CARBO: Now, remember, the most important thing is'? Yes, eye contact.
That's right.
Let me look at you.
You've been spending way too much time alone with the tulips.
Now, say it with me, Benno.
The job is mine.
Wish me luck, OK'? You don't even need it! Can I just say, whatever you're selling, I'm buying.
Tim is gonna have his socks knocked off.
So, break a leg.
Thanks.
Ooh, Ben? Remember, eye contact and make sure you ask interesting questions.
Yeah, you kick some butt today too, OK'? Good luck.
Good luck.
Thank you.
Ah! There you go, love.
Know it's always a bit strange on your first day but, luckily, I hear the natives are friendly.
Oh, thanks, Jules, but I don't want you making a habit of this, OK'? I'm not the guest anymore.
I'm the employee.
OK.
Hey, listen, thanks again for this book of baby names too.
Been going through it all weekend.
We're naming our kid after a kitchen spray, apparently.
Sorry'? Oh, Ajax.
While I've got a second opinion, what do you think of the name Atticus'? Atticus Rafter.
Sounds noble, don't you think? Look, we got plenty of time to talk about that down the track, OK'? I'm not jinxing it.
I just feel I need to have everything under control.
Speaking of which, I gotta be in Denham Street in about half an hour.
Anything else you wanna go through? No.
I've got it covered.
Oh, actually, yes.
Um, there is one thing.
Um Is she gonna be there all year or does the girl change? Nah, it's just the two of you.
You're gonna have to fight it out.
I thought that I could start by going out and talking to all the vendors personally, just so they could put a face to the name.
Then I thought that I'd go through the database and make a few calls, just so I know who's in the market.
Know what, Natho? How about we start off a little less ambitious? It's Nathan.
Before we get started, would you mind making me a cup of coffee? You would like a Coffee.
Everything you need's in the kitchen.
Oh, sorry! Can't expect you to be a mind reader.
Milk with one.
And, er, not too strong.
Thanks.
Yep.
RACH EL: Nathan's list for the day definitely included the word 'instant', but 'gratification', not 'coffee'.
Ben and lists (DOPEY VOICE) .
.
eat, sleep, check out girls, stuff around, eat a bit more.
Maybe that was all about to change.
G'day, mate.
I'm Ben.
Fergus.
You work here, do you? Yeah.
In the bar.
You ever been a manager? Nah.
Not really.
Not yet.
Yeah, it was the first job I ever had.
I was there half a day and - booyah! They had me running the place.
So you think you got a shot at this job, do you? Yeah.
Sure.
Why not? I mean, I know the place.
I know how it runs.
Yeah.
Badly, from what I've seen.
Anyway, good luck with it all.
It's nice to have a dream, I suppose.
Fergus! Ben! Sorry to keep you waiting.
Goodo.
Um, please, sit down.
Sit down.
I just wanted to have a personal chat with you both.
Now, I've been going over your CVs and, well, you're both looking pretty good for it.
Fergus, youyou seem to have an awful lot of experience here.
Yeah, I'm not surprised you'd say that, Derek.
I mean, no of fence to my mate, Billy, here It's Ben.
My name's Ben.
The first day I ever walked into a pub, mate, that was it.
I got the gig.
I was the manager.
I know what I'm doing and I know what to do to turn this place around.
I'm not saying you're running it badly yourself.
I'm just saying there are always improvements you can make.
You know, get the cash really flowing in here.
Uh, I've been learning MYOB and, uh I justl just wanna say that I am ready to take on this responsibility, Derek, and I've been here for years.
I've been ready for years - you put me in charge, you've only gotta worry about one thing - how to spend all that extra cash.
Right.
Well, um, tell you what I'll do.
I'll give you both a shot at running the place.
One of you can do Tuesday night.
The other, Wednesday night.
Wh This week'? Mmm.
When you say you'll see how we go, if the revenue's up that night, that'll obviously swing in our favour.
Uh, yeah, well, I certainly won't be complaining about any extra cash.
Well, who gets what night? Ah, well, we'll toss for it.
Fergus? Uh, heads.
Heads it is.
What night? I'll take Wednesday night.
Gives me a bit more time to prepare.
Lucky for me, I won't need it.
Mate, how the hell am I gonna pull this off'? It's tomorrow night! Who goes out on a Tuesday night? No-one! It's the best night on TV.
Jelly wrestling.
What? You wanna pull the easy dollars? There you have it.
No.
It's jelly.
It's wrestling.
Where's the problem? My grandad goes to this club and, yes, I wanna make a bit of money but it's gotta be something that will appeal to a mass audience.
Wet T-shirt competition.
Oh, yeah, 'cause unlike jelly, that's not offensive at all.
You don't want my suggestions, fine.
I've got flowers to deliver.
Trivia.
That's what I'll do.
Trivia what? It's cheap.
Everyone gets a go.
No-one gets offended.
It's perfect! The punters are happy, Derek's happy and at the end of it all, I get the job.
RACHEL: Do I need more lipstick? No.
He's late.
He's probably decided not to come.
He's here.
Wh-where'? Him'? Told you I was good at this.
Hey, you! How are you? Long time, no see.
Marcus, this is Rachel.
Yeah.
Hi.
Hi.
Maybe Mum is right.
A list is all about deciding what you want and going for it.
Cuba'? What can I say? Just terrible infrastructure.
No air conditioning.
Potholes everywhere.
It was just a nightmare.
A friend of mine went to Havana and they did Spanish classes in the morning and salsa dancing in the afternoon and they stayed in this amazing colonialhotel.
Um, yeah, anyway, I'm jealous.
It must've been an amazing trip.
I wouldn't rush back there any time soon.
Have you got any other holidays planned? No, not at the moment.
I've still gotta pay for this one.
You know'? Oh, yeah.
Um, Libby said you were in marketing.
Yeah.
That must be interesting.
It's like anything, I suppose.
It has its moments.
Yeah.
(DRYLY) It certainly does.
There you go.
Oh.
Thank you.
And, look, I promise that this is not gonna become a habit.
Here's to your first day.
Oh, thanks.
Hey, Sammy? You don't have to do that.
It's fine.
I've got the time.
You just sit there and enjoy your non-alcoholic beverage.
Actually, a herbal remedy for nausea that's working.
I still have to run to the toilet every half an hour, but, thankfully, not to vomit.
Long may it last.
(LAUGHS) He didn't work you too hard today? On the contrary.
I don't think he had time to stop for lunch.
Sorry if the schedule was a bit tight.
I'm not complaining about the work.
I just hope we find someone to replace Warney.
Oh, we had two guys who were supposed to come for interviews today.
Neither of them showed up.
Oh.
Tradesmen.
So unreliable.
There you are.
Hey.
How did it go? Yeah, your first day too.
How was it? It better have gone well because I'm getting very comfortable round here, just so you know.
I don't think you've anything to worry about, Chrissy.
It was great.
It was everything I could've hoped for.
Oh, goodoh, and, Nathan, I was wondering if maybe you and I could catch a movie this weekend.
Er, yeah.
Sure.
I'll check my diary.
Ah.
Sounded promising.
So, how did it really go? Well, on the bright side, I think I can finally say that I've mastered the art of instant coffee.
Oh, well, maybe Tim's just easing you in gently.
It's not like I don't know what I'm doing.
So give him a chance to see that.
Of course he's gotta be cautious.
He doesn't know whether he can trust you yet.
It's not what I hoped for, Sam.
Oh, I know.
Give it time.
OK.
Hmm! So Finland was Cold.
And Sweden? Cold.
Norway, Denmark, they're all cold.
Er, I read in the winter in Helsinki, sometimes they get polar bears just wandering down the streets.
Urban legend.
I didn't see any.
But the Northern Lights are beautiful, right? I mean, that must've been worth it.
I didn't see them.
Can I get you another one? No.
I actually have to work really early in the morning.
Me too.
Oh! I got a huge deadline at the moment.
Oh, me too! It can get crazy, can't it? It sure can.
Well, um, it was lovely to meet you.
You too.
Um, we should do this again some time.
Yeah, yeah.
Definitely.
RACHEL: And the thing is, on paper he seemed perfect.
He was everything I thought I ever wanted in a guy.
Marcus is a nice name, isn't it? But in person - the spark, it just wasn't there.
Not for him and definitely not for me.
And he was such a downer on everything.
I mean, it's sort of more refined than just plain old Mark, but it's not really pooncey either.
Ahem! I like it.
Oh, sorry, darling.
lam No, I'm listening.
I am.
It'sjust Well, look, chemistry, it's a random thing.
You never know where you're gonna find it.
Oh, great, my new baby brother's gonna be named after the guy who didn't wanna go out with me.
Oh! What's this? Hmm'? Oh, that's Ben's trivia night tomorrow night.
And we're all going and that includes you, missy.
Sure.
Why not? It's not like I've got anything better to do.
Here we go.
White with one, not too strong.
I am sorry.
We're all out of biscuits.
Mate, I gotta duck out and do an appraisal.
An appraisal.
Great.
I'll come with you.
Er, no.
Look, I can handle this one myself.
How about you keep on with the call-backs from the weekend.
Yes.
The thing is Tim, I know that I'm the new boy.
Second day.
I know that.
I'll tell you what, this was always gonna be different to your mob in the city.
Round here we walk before we can Run.
Hmm.
I just feel like I'm not being put to good use.
That's how I feel.
Right.
Well, how about you get on with those call-backs'? That is what I need you to do.
So, I was thinking maybe this weekend we could grab a bite or even go bowling.
I really can't deal with this right now.
What's wrong with wanting to spend time with my children? Are you trying to back out of tonight? No, no, of course not.
We're there.
Except for Grandad.
He's sorry but he's busy.
If you'll be there and I'll be there, then I guess that counts as us spending time together.
No, I meant just you and me.
All gone, mate.
Every single letterbox in the district has got your flyer.
Awesome.
Thanks, mate.
Uh, Mum, I'm really sorry but You want me to go.
I've just got lots of work to do.
If you wrote it all down It's up here, OK'? Alright.
I'll see you tonight.
Bye, Carbo.
See you, Mrs Rafter.
Great.
Now all we've got to do is write the questions.
I reckon we do a whole mix - sports, movies, politics.
You better grab the laptop.
I think I'll need the internet.
Hey, did you get Mel's message? No, why'? It was on the machine.
Well, she can keep calling.
Benno, I know what you're trying to do but it never works.
What? You want to keep Mel hanging.
You want her to be the one doing all the chasing.
Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen.
You have got no idea.
My top priority right now is getting this job.
I can deal with all the rest later.
So, not even a pash? No, but when I suggested calling it a night he was so relieved he probably should've kissed me.
But you and Marcus - you are perfect.
Uh, apparently not.
Maybe you just didn't drink enough.
Lib, free run of the entire wine cellar would not have helped.
The spark, it just wasn't there.
What are you doing? Well, you know what they say about bikes.
Oh, now, there's a comparison I always enjoy.
OK.
What about a guy who's divorced but no kids? No, I'm back to thinking blind dates are a bad idea.
But he's really lovely.
How old? No! OK.
How about a man who's bald? No.
Thing is, last time we punted up a guy you thought was perfect.
Maybe you need to be a bit more broad-minded.
Yeah, I will be, so long as he's got hair.
And, anyway, who are you to lecture me on being shallow'? I have the depth of a puddle, correct, which is why I am perfectly qualified to call you on the same thing.
Oh! Richie! He's smart.
He's funny.
Very good-looking.
Very tall.
And you know what they say about those extra couple of inches.
Yeah, but Am I making this call? Or am I making this call? Yeah, yeah.
It's on tonight at the Boat Club.
I'll save you a seat.
Hope she likes her succulents.
Mate, the things some blokes want to say with flowers - barely legal.
Mate, I don't want to hear it.
Two hours till kick-off and I've only got 38 questions.
“How many faces has a dodecahedron?" Shut up.
I've gotta concentrate.
Easy.
12.
How do you know that'? 'Dodeka'.
It's Greek.
You didn't know it was Greek? No.
Mate, I'm drowning here.
I've been slaving my bum off all day.
I'm getting nowhere.
Benno, I know this is a big deal for you, mate, but you've gotta take a deep breath.
Think about your heart.
OK'? You can't overdo these things, right? Alright, now listen to me.
The way I see it, you've got two options.
One - you can cheat.
Just go grab a quiz book and copy down No, no, no.
I want to make this fair and square.
Make it original and out there, you know'? OK.
Option 2.
I'll lend you a hand.
You?! What do you know about anything? Cars and flowers.
OK, how about this? What is engine capacity in kilowatts of an HK GTS 327 Monaro'? You know the answer to that'? Sure I do.
Say that again? What is the engine capacity Oh, yes.
This is good.
This is good.
Yeah, yeah.
(DOOR OPENS) NATHAN: I know, I know, I'm running late, but don't worry.
I wouldn't miss Ben's trivia extravaganza.
I was just going to say I'm surprised.
I thought you couldn't wait to get out of the office.
Does this mean you actually had a good day at work? No, but I do have a cunning plan.
There was a couple who came to an open house on the weekend.
They're really interested but they'd have to sell their place first.
I'm gonna do an appraisal first thing tomorrow morning.
Great.
And Tim's cool with that'? (CH UCKLES) Tim doesn't know.
Trivia night, eh? Well, good luck with it.
Yeah.
Got the punters in last time.
Should really go off.
Hey, Benno.
G'day, mate.
Did you call all your rels? Everyone you've ever met? Mate, I've been on the phone all day.
Don't worry.
Gonna pack this joint out.
Yeah? You really think so'? It's gonna go off! There was another message from Mel.
Why didn't you call her back the first time? I already told you.
No, you avoided the question.
Look, just leave it, Carbo.
Why don't you just call her, let her know you'll call back later? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Why would I do that'? I'm just saying it's a fine line.
You don't want to push her away.
I've gotta get the microphone.
If the questions are about hairspray or muscle cars, we're laughing - otherwise, don't look at me.
Ben's the one writing the questions.
Not like they'll be hard.
Oh, that's your son you're talking about.
I know him well.
That's all I'm saying.
Oh, good.
There you are.
What do you think? Gorgeous.
A little overdressed for the Boat Club.
Mum, I'm going on a date.
Oh, no, no, no, Rachel.
You promised you'd be there.
He doesn't need us all there.
Look, this is a big night for Ben.
He needs our support.
We'll meet you there.
Chrissy, do you want a lift? Yes.
Thank you.
Why don't you just invite this guy to the trivia night? Dad.
What? We're going out Rachel, there's a guy called Richie here for you.
Did you meet him on the internet'? (WHISPERS) Shut up! Rachel.
Hi.
Hi.
I wasn't expecting a welcoming committee.
Ah, sorry.
It kind of goes with the territory around here.
Hi, Richie.
I'm Julie.
I'm Rachel's mother.
Lovely to meet you.
Do you like trivia? Mum G'day.
Dave.
See you in the car.
OK.
Just that Rachel's brother has organised a trivia night and he'll be devastated if she's not there.
Well, if you really want to go Oh, no.
I don't.
She does.
She's just too polite to say anything.
Well, I kind of like trivia.
Oh! In fact, back when I was at uni - I'm sounding like a major geek here You were champion? I was.
Oh! I'm guessing I've killed my chances.
No, no.
Oh! Definitely not.
No.
Ah Richie - it's a nice name.
Mum, we're coming.
Stop pushing it.
OK.
Richie.
All I want's a beer! Oh! so”! Oh! Don't you ever watch where you're going'? (LAUGHS) Anyone missing a broomstick? Reckon I'd know where we'd find one.
Back off, mate.
Did it work? Well, obviously your self-esteem is so pathetically challenged that you feel the need to bolster it every opportunity you can get.
So I'm just wondering - did it work? (CACKLES) Good luck, mate.
I reckon you're going to need a drink.
Or just some manners, which luckily he has.
(SIGHS) Sorry about that.
That guy nearly crash-tackled me in the park the other day.
Gotta give him points for trying, I suppose.
(LAUGHS) Oh, are we a bit early? Er, no.
No, no.
Just people are probably running a bit late from work.
Yeah, mate.
The place will fill up soon.
CARBO: Don't worry, Benno.
Just say the word and I'll get rid of him.
So, mate, what time does it all kick off'? Oh, I'm just playing it a bit by ear.
“Whatever the punters want.
" That's what I always say.
Might need a few of them in that case.
(WHISPERS) What happened to all your mates? You said all of Greece would be here.
They're stuck in traffic.
Darling, don't worry.
It'll be fine.
Yeah.
In half an hour, the place will bepacked.
BEN: And, er, now for the next question.
If you were born in the month of August, what would be your birth flower? It was my question! This one's mine! There's two possible answers to this one.
Bonus points if you get them both.
I know this one.
I know it.
The gladiolus and the poppy.
So it is official.
You are gay.
You have to be gay! My aunty's a florist.
So am I! I'm a florist too.
Well, almost.
Hey, hands off, Carbo.
This one's mine.
Oh, I like the sound of that.
Yeah, me too.
Ooh! Hey, hey! They're getting along really well.
Well, at least tonight won't be a total disaster.
Oh OK.
I'd like to thank you all for coming.
Could do it personally.
Probably wouldn't take very long.
(FERGUS LAUGHS) Anyway, we do have a winning team tonight - Richie and Rachel.
Congratulations.
(ALL CHEER AND APPLAUD) That's two free meals on the house, courtesy of the Boat Club.
Congratulations.
I couldn't have done it without my partner here.
Oh, he's lying.
I was absolutely no help at all.
OTHERS: Oh JULIE: Oh, OK.
CARBO: Ooh, ah! Look at that! (CHRISSY GROANS) That's not really necessary.
(JULIE LAUGHS) Oh, darling, we did have a great time.
Yeah, the questions were very entertaining.
Bums on seats.
That's all that counts.
Oh, it was good.
I'll see you at home.
RICHIE: We really should get out of here.
See you, Benny.
Is it finished already? Melissa? What are you doing here? Carbo invited me.
Uh-huh.
Well, you're too late.
And this is it.
A real crowd-puller, aren't I'? Oh, well, maybe everyone got the wrong night or something.
Yeah, maybe.
Who knows'? Listen, I've got to get back cleaning up.
So I'll speak to you later.
OK? Benno, what are you What do you think you're doing inviting Mel? You told me to invite every person I ever met.
Great.
So the only one that shows up is my ex-girlfriend.
So'? You are so stupid.
Why did you think I didn't call her back? I wanted to land this job first so I had something to show her.
Be a winner for once.
You didn't And now she's seen me looking like this, like a total idiot.
Thanks for nothing.
Benno.
Benno! Just so you know, we're going back to your place.
Not mine.
Oh, yeah Oh, what's that'? What? Did you walk in mud? Uml don't know.
No, but there's a footprint right there.
Oh, who cares? I just had the car cleaned.
Oh.
Let me take your mind off it.
If I don't fix this up right now, the stain could be there forever.
OK.
Right.
Just to be clear, I am offering to go home with you and all you can think about is mud? There's a Dustbuster in the boot.
It'll just take a minute, I promise.
Rachel, a minute! Rachel! There is nothing wrong with being neat and tidy.
Oh, so let him go home and get it on with the vacuum cleaner, then.
In fact, I bet he probably does.
Alright, fine.
So we're adding to the list - you want a guy who's a complete slob.
No Two lattes, thank you.
Then what's wrong with Richie? I don't want a complete anything.
I don't want him to be obsessive.
I mean, seriously - housework or love action? Now, for most guys, that is a no-brainer.
You know what I think the trouble is? The fact that you think I'm gonna let you set me up again? You need to be more open.
You have all these ideas about what's right, what's not right Ha! This coming from a girl who rejected a guy based on his facial hair.
He looked like Ivan Milat and besides, we're already established that I am shallow.
But you're better than me, Rachel.
I am not going on any more blind dates.
OK.
OK.
One last try.
No! He's fun and he's interesting.
Oh, come on! One drink.
Oh I promise that you will like him.
(KNOCK AT DOOR) CARBO: Mate, are you awake? It's after 1:00.
Benno'? BEN: What? Mate! I was just checking to make sure Make sure I'm not playing with razor blades? I'm sorry about Mel.
Really.
Doesn't matter.
You might still be able to call her.
You never know what'll happen tonight.
That Fergus dude could totally stuff things up.
Like I did.
Hey, this list is getting longer and longer.
'Maddox'? JULIE: Well, like I said book's coming in very handy.
(LAUGHS) Good.
Just gathering dust at my place.
Oh, that sounds terrible.
(LAUGHS) I suppose it was regifting.
It was your book.
Yeah, but it's not like I'm ever gonna need it.
Oh, don't say that.
I know it didn't happen with Greg but you're still young.
Plumbing doesn't work, Jules.
Well, there's IVF.
Do you know what the success rate is at my age? Probably a lot higher than the chance of someone my age getting knocked up again.
Even so, there is the teensy problem of having to meet a man first.
I want you to have the book, OK'? OK.
I'm fine.
Some things just aren't meant to be.
Anyway I've seen how often you go to the toilet.
Might not have kids but I'll always have bladder control.
Yeah, and let's face it.
You look fantastic in a bikini.
Exactly, and we wouldn't want to mess with that, would we'? Hey, I was just about to send out a search party for you! I'm sorry, Tim.
I got caught up with a client.
Oh, yeah, whose client? Well, when I did my call-backs yesterday, I spoke to a couple who were interested in the property.
But for them to buy, they would need to exchange contracts on their current property first.
No, just back up for a minute there, will ya'? And on top of that, they're going overseas next week.
So, if it was all gonna happen, that was our timeframe.
Right.
Well, why didn't you tell me? I mean, if we've got a client, me - I'm the one you tell.
Yes.
Because I'd already built up a rapport.
So it felt like I should follow through.
It wasn't your decision to make.
You would've said no, Tim.
That's why I chose to go behind your back.
Right.
But I am ready to take on some responsibility around here.
I am.
Nathan, it is not the way we do things around here.
I don't want clients getting the impression we're a bunch of cowboys.
That's not the impression I intend to give.
Is that right? By the end of next week, they are going to think this is the best deal they've ever done (PHONE RINGS) .
.
and so will you.
Yes, well, you'd better hope so.
(PHONE CONTINUES RINGING) In the meantime, it's still your job to answer that.
Alright.
Good.
So, what happened to Richie? Oh, sadly, he turned out to be a bit of a freak.
Do I even want to know'? (CHUCKLES) Well, apparently he really likes to clean.
Oh! If you don't marry him, I will.
I heard that.
OK, I'll see you guys later.
Thought you were having dinner with Mum.
Apparently not.
Er, sorry.
Mystery man awaits.
Well, it seems all my children are doing everything they can to avoid spending time with me.
They just lead busy lives, that's all.
Actually, no, scratch that.
That's two definite no's.
The other one can't even be bothered to check his diary.
Jules In fact, in terms of my list, the trip to Rome's looking a whole lot more likely.
Although, er, once the baby's born, I'm gonna be too tired and then too busy and then too old and then it'll never happen because I'll be dead! The kids love you.
You know that.
(SOBS) It's just the hormones.
I know! Aren't I allowed to be a little bit upset? (HIP-HOP TRACK PLAYS IN DISTANCE) (MUSIC BECOMES LOU DER) (MUSIC PLAYS OVER CAR RADIO) MAN: Oi! Show us your tits! (LAUGHS) How original.
(LAUGHS) Cut it out, Camel.
Take a good look! It'd be a bit different to the blow-up doll you're used to.
Yeah, less inflation, that's for sure.
Shoot me if I ever end up with someone like that.
Hi.
Um, Max? So, I'm so sorry.
The train was running late MAN: Rachel.
You'reMax'? And you're Rachel.
Yes.
Hi.
God, I hate blind dates! I told Libby that.
Yeah, me too.
(ROMANTIC ITALIAN MUSIC PLAYS) (SNIFFS) Phew! You can smell the garlic halfway down the street! DAVE: Well, before you come any further, I'm gonna have to ask - do you have a passport? Er, no.
Funnily enough, the standards around here have never usually been that high.
Because you know they're never gonna let you into Rome without one.
Is that what this is? Aw! Darling, you're so sweet.
Or some might say extremely cheap but it's the best I could do at short notice.
Oh, and if Mohammed can't go to the Trevi Fountain Then I say we just stay here and we can throw a coin into the kitchen sink.
Go on.
(LAUGHS) Don't tell me or it won't come true.
Ooh.
OK.
Oh.
There you go.
One more thing to cross off the list.
Mwah.
I've been going overboard, haven't I'? I know I have.
Well, having a baby's not a terminal illness.
Even when it's here, there'll still be plenty of time to do other things.
(MUMBLES) Well, maybe not for the first couple of months.
Or 1 O years after that.
Oh, well, what's the equivalent of c'est Ia vie in Italian? (ITALIAN ACCENT) I have absolutely no idea.
Hey, I know, why don't we have an Italian name for this kid - like, erlike Pinot or I thought you said it was too early.
.
.
Mario'? Ah! Mario Rafter! It's going on the list.
Mario.
(LAUGHS) Mario.
MAX: So we're cruising through the creepy Russian countryside and suddenly, there's a creepier hotel.
Like a mini Dracula's castle.
Alright, that impression was helped by the eight hours of vodka drinking you'd been doing? Given that the vodka's really metho.
(LAUGHS) So, we check in and sit down for dinner to be informed that there's an after-dinner show.
And I'm thinking, “A little Russian dancing.
“A little Russian singing.
I can be cultured.
" And then the strippers arrive.
Oh, you've got to be kidding.
The male strippers! In lycra Cossack outfits with Velcro down the sides and bearskin jockstraps.
RACHEL: (NARRATES) So much for lists.
Finally I was having fun! I'll get this.
Oh.
You know what? I really want to hear the end of that story.
Do you want to go get something to eat somewhere? Look, Rachel, I don't want to lead you on here.
You seem like a really gorgeous girl I can't see this going anywhere.
Oh, OK.
Right.
I'mnot your type'? I know I'm way too picky.
I'm really after a redhead.
I'm sorry.
I know that sounds ridiculous and shallow and No, no.
No, no, no, no.
You just want what you want.
Finnegan? JULIE: Yeah.
Do you like it for a boy? What? Finnegan Rafter.
Is that one of Rachel's boyfriends? (DOOR CLOSES) No.
Oh, suddenly I'm liking it more.
(LAUGHS) What's going on here? Oh, my husband surprised me with a trip to Europe.
Really? When are you going? I didn't even know you could fly while pregnant! No, it's the kind of journey that doesn't involve jet lag.
Is this one of those euphemistic ways of talking about something really kinky'? (CHUCKLES) Um Evening, all.
Hey! I thought you were gonna be home ages ago! Sorry.
I had to make a few calls.
Actually, I have to go and make a few more calls right now.
At this time? Yes.
I'm trying to make a sale.
I haven't got a lot of time to do it.
So I guess that means work went well today'? Tim was OK'? Let's just say I had to be persuasive.
So I need to pull this off.
Don't worry.
I won't stay up all night.
CARBO: Mate, you've got nothing to worry about.
BEN: Hey.
Is that a queue? That doesn't mean he's got the job.
Come on.
Let's get out of here, Benno.
I'll buy you a pizza.
(UNFASTENS SEATBELT) Where are you going'? They haven't got enough staff on tonight for a crowd that size.
You're not going in there to work.
That's crazy! You don't help the enemy win the war.
The war is over.
Fungus has got the job.
End of story.
Benno! See you, mate.
RACHEL: As Ben faced up to his failure that night "the next morning, I had to face up to mine.
Point taken! What? Last night.
I get it.
Max is me.
That's what it was all about.
So, you had fun, right? He rejected me because of my hair.
What? Yeah.
Apparently he's only into redheads.
So, the universe is definitely trying to tell me something.
I've taken a good long look at myself and I am taking that list and tearing it up and throwing it out the window.
Who knew he would be so picky? So, what about you, Miss Libby? Are you ready to open yourself up to the universe'? Ooh.
Maybe.
Um, I mean, I can't promise I'll turn into the Pacific Ocean overnight.
(GRUNTS) I mean, seriously! If a guy rocked up to a date wearing double-denim, I'd be out of there so fast.
Eugh! Don't worry, mate.
When I'm doing the rosters, I promise I won't give you the crappy shifts.
Thanks, mate.
I really appreciate it.
Thanks for coming in, guys.
Ben, can I have a word with you first? Look, it's OK, Derek.
Really.
No hard feelings.
Ben No, Fergus made a lot of money for the club and my trivia night, well, kind of sucked.
But I just want to say thanks for the opportunity.
Ben, you've got the job.
What? I still can't believe it.
You know what Derek said was most impressive? That I went to help out last night even though I wasn't rostered on.
So, I'm a true manager.
That's what he said.
And the band ended up costing more money than they made! Mate, that's awesome.
I'm so proud right now.
Hey, does this mean I get free drinks? Yeah.
Who are you calling'? Who do you reckon? Ah, she's gonna come crawling back.
Just you wait.
(PHONE RINGS) Ben, hi! I guess this means you didn't lose my number.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Look, I've just been tied up with all this stuff at work.
Hey, listen, I got the job.
I got the job as manager! Ben, that's fantastic! Yeah, I know.
I totally thought I'd stuffed it up.
And that's why I, sort of, bit your head off the other night.
Oh.
I, uhl kind of felt like I was in the way.
Like you didn't really want me around.
No.
No, no.
It's not that at all.
Hey, listen, could we catch up sometime? MAN: Chicken or roast beef? You get to choose.
Chicken, thank you.
Sorry, Ben.
I missed that.
Waswas that Luke'? Uh, yeah.
We're just having some lunch.
Alright.
Well.
Don't wanna hold you up, then.
Ben (PHONE BEEPS) She's on a date with Luke.
He's buying her lunch and she's having the chicken! Mate, she's gotta eat.
Alright? Look, she could just be there as mates.
Turn the phone off.
I thought you were asleep.
I can hear you thinking.
It's 10:30.
Business hours are over.
Mmm, not in real estate.
A buyer said he might call.
Well, he can leave a message.
No, rlo, no, no.
Because if he does call tonight and he's interested then I am back in the game.
(BOTH LAUGH) You've got that look again.
What look? The look of a successful hunt.
It's very primal and very sexy.
I'm gonna make this happen, Sam.
I can feel it.
Feel what, exactly? (PHONE VIBRATES) No way.
Yes! Hello.
Nathan Rafter.
No.
No, no.
It's not too late at all.
Yes, they've got all their finance sorted.
No.
No, no.
Not yet.
But I think it's fair to say that all the gears are in motion.
Yeah.
Alright, Tim.
I'll speak to you soon.
OK.
Bye.
Good thing you weren't on a video call.
Oh, the way I'm driving this deal, Tim wouldn't care if I was naked.
Yes! And I think that a congrats is in order for you.
Manager of the Boat Club - nice work, Ben! Thanks for the, uh thanks for the shirt.
So, where's the excitement? I am excited.
I am.
It's what I wanted.
Yeah.
Whoo.
Si Boat Club.
OK.
Let me guess.
It starts with 'M' and it ends with 'A'.
Yeah.
I totally stuffed it.
She's dating a hot doctor.
Then you need to get her back.
It's not that easy.
It is.
You've got a goal.
Now you just need a plan of attack.
No.
No more lists.
Lists are what got you the job.
I got me the job! Eye contact and an ugly shirt had nothing to do with it.
OK.
Well, then, let it go.
Let her go.
I'm sure there's a whole world of freaks on the internet just dying to meet you.
(PHONE RINGS) I've gotta take this.
Nathan Rafter.
No.
No, no, no.
Now's the moment.
Yep Oh! Hello.
Hey.
Hey- HEY- Congratulations.
Thanks, Mum.
That's fantastic news.
My son, the manager.
How come I haven't seen you? I've just been busy getting started on things.
It's pretty full-on.
Well, I couldn't be more proud.
Did you get my message? Oh, yeah - your four messages.
Yeah, I got them.
Do you want some breakfast? No.
I better get on.
I'm making eggs.
High-energy food.
Even the manager's gotta eat sometimes.
No, I really better get going.
Oh, but, Mum, remember what you said the other day about grabbing a bite sometime? Yeah.
Maybe bowling, yeah? Just the two of us.
I'd like that.
Aren't you gonna be a bit busy? Nah.
Never too busy for you.
Your shout, yeah? Yeah.
See ya.
See ya.
RACHEL: Lists are a valuable tool - a way of focusing your energy, making you feel you're in control.
But as a way of defining a soul mate well, who's in control when it comes to love? Trawling for hotties again? (LAUGHS) Relax, it's only me.
No judgment here, remember'? Unless I'm Monique.
(LAUGHS) So I'm guessing the date the other night didn't go too well, huh? Uhyes and no.
Uh, I'm apparently too picky so I've just decided to be a bit more open-minded.
Hmm.
Well, speaking from experience, that can work out very well.
I mean, Nathan didn't exactly check all the boxes.
Not for my parents, not for most of my friends - not even for me, initially.
(SIGHS) I always thought I was gonna end up with Prince Harry.
Yeah, he is the hot one.
So, look, I think being open-minded's the way to go.
Mmm, exactly.
Butnot him.
Or him.
Oh! (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) Still, at least there are options.
Absolutely.
Put yourself out there.
After all, it's not like you're gonna meet someone in your own backyard.
Mmm.
Hey, Chrissy, Mum wants to know if you want to stay for dinner tonight.
Unbelievable.
What? Well, his credentials on paper are outstanding.
Butwho knew it was gonna come in this kind of package? Right.
What are you doing here? (SIGHS)