Phineas and Ferb s02e21 Episode Script
The Baljeatles (15 min)
Okay, what the heck is that sound?! Come on, Ferb.
I know what we're not gonna do today! We're not gonna figure out what we are gonna do today as long as that noise keeps up! If you don't stop that racket, I am so gonna bust you empty backyard? Candace, stop trying to bust your backyard! Jeremy! Yes? Yes! We'll see you in a bit.
Thanks.
No, you get off the phoneâ Hello? So, what's the scoop? Jeremy just invited us to his friend's concert! Oh, I don't know Lately I've been feeling like a third wheel around you guys.
What? No.
I always saw it more like Jeremy and I were two wheels, and you were separate, on a unicycle all, "Doo-doo doo-doo-doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doot" Wait a minute! I just thought of something.
Jeremy's never given me a nickname! I refer you to the chart.
Oh, goody.
The chart.
See, Jeremy only calls me "Candace," and nothing else.
When a guy makes you his girlfriend, he comes up with a nickname for you.
A pet name like, "baby," "honey," "Peg-Leg Pete!" His own personal stamp! Maybe you should just let whatever happens happen.
You know, naturally.
Naturally? Where is that coming from? Baljeet's house? For such a mild-mannered kid, we wind up here for a lot of weird reasons.
Ah, I wish I had some earplugs.
Thanks dude! So, uh What up 'Jeet? Oh, uh Hello, my friends.
I did not hear you come in.
Is everything okay? If by okay, you mean that my life is a meaningless, black cauldron of swirling failure Then yes, everything is groovy.
That's not at all what I meant by "okay.
" I signed up for a class called "Summer Rocks," believing it was a geology course.
It turned out to be a rock-and-roll camp.
And no matter how hard I study, I just do not rock! I could actually get an eâ Anâ Oh, I cannot even say that terrible letter.
'Ineas! 'Erb! What am I going to do? Well, that was an interesting sound you were getting out of your guitar.
I think you'll be just fine! That was not my guitar.
That was me.
I call it, "The Fail Wail.
" Baljeet.
Baljeet! Whoa! Hey! Thank you.
We can show you how to rock! Really? Absolutely.
Hey, I think the Fail Wail scared Perry off! Ticket, please.
Right this way! Enjoy the show.
Evil.
Wait.
You.
Await.
Evil.
Awaits.
Cut, cut! Oh, come on! Sorry, Agent P.
Carl's been taking some film classes and now believes I'm stifling his creativity as my cameraman.
Camera artist.
Seems Dr.
Doofenshmirtz has been buying baby supplies all over town.
One could only imagine what he's doing.
Two can discuss it between themselves, more than two is frankly a waste of our resources.
Good luck, Agent P! Okay, once more with feeling! The agency isn't paying for these classes, are they Carl? I have read every book on the history of rock music.
Gosh, Baljeet.
Rock and roll isn't about books! It's about letting go and having fun! Rock and roll is a way for you to tell the world how you feel! Feel about what? Expressing yourself! I mean, what do you do when you're angry? Math.
Okay, what about when you're sad? Math! Happy? Ma-ath! So every feeling you have makes you want to do math? I do not know if it is so much cause and effect.
I do a lot of math! The feelings come and go.
What kind of concert is this? It's the Summer Rocks graduation concert.
Jeremy's friend, Coltrane is an instructor.
Look, there they are! Oh, that's Coltrane.
He's really cute! Hmm, I guess he is.
Hey, wait a minute.
You like Coltrane! Well, I've never actually talked to him before, but Quick, what should we do? Hide? No.
Wait, pretend you're a talent scout.
Ooh, here! I think I have a fake mustache on me! Let's just go over and say hi.
What do you think it means when a girl leaves a fake mustache at your house? Hi guys! Hey gals! Ha! "Gals.
" Yeah, that's me, "the gal.
" Gosh, when did you start calling me that? Hi, I'm Stacy.
Hey, how ya doin', Stacy? I'm Coltrane.
I like your hair.
Thanks.
I like your bow.
Let me show you round.
Cool! Hey, Coltrane and Stacy That was easy.
What? Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Aw, congratulations, it's a platypus! What do you think of my new Nanny-inator? Nice, huh? You know what time it is? Evil story time! See, I wrote my new evil scheme in pop-up book format.
Once upon a time, yesterday, like a quarter to six, I was watching a nature documentary, and I learned how before a baby's born, its constant companion is the soothing, steady beat of its mother's heart.
Even after it's born, the sound of the mother's heartbeat continues to be a safe, calming beacon to a growing child, in some cases up until their early thirties.
Suddenly, I was struck with a brilliant idea, to project the sound of my own heartbeat across the city, causing all the babies to believe that I am their leader! Like the Pied Piper, except with babies.
I will have a mighty baby army, and no one would fight back, 'cause, you know they're babies! Finally, the time came for me to tell you my evil plan in pop-up book form, and Iâ Oh, Iâ I'm sorry, theâ The book seems to have caught up to us in real time.
Anyway, behold! The Bum-Bum-inator! Rock's not about getting good grades and following the rules, it's about rebellion! It's about using music to express your true feelings and emotions! Just play how you feel! Baljeet, that'sâ That's just an A chord.
I feel like I want an A! This is gonna be harder than we thought.
Do you think you could teach me how to play the bass? Let's see if you have big bass player hands.
Ooka! Ooka! Ooka-ooka-ooka-ooka! Uh, excuse me for a second.
Ooka! I have to go talk to my friend in the bushes.
Ooka! Ooka-ooka-ooka-ooka! Cool! I gotta go get this show started.
Save me a dance? Coo-coo-coo-coo-cooo! Hooka! Ooka! Ooka-ooka-ooka-ooka! Eeka-eeka-eeka! What are you doin'? How's it going with you and Coltrane? I think it's going really well! He asked me to save him a dance! He did? What do you think he meant by that? I'm pretty sure he meant he wants to dance with me.
Hmm.
Men and their impossible endless riddles! So how's it going with you? Has Jeremy nicknamed you yet? No Maybe Jeremy just isn't the kind of guy who nicknames people.
Huh.
You could be right.
Look, here he comes now! Yo, T-Bone! Hey, Clammo! What up, Sassy Miss K? Momo! Binkie Hi Candace, where you been? I'll, uh I'll see you later.
Catch ya later, Staceroo.
What? Oh, I do not know about this! You'll be great! Just remember what we practiced.
Follow the beat and let your feelings out through the music! I am about to let my feelings out through these pleather pants! Okay, I'm almost ready, Perry the Platypus.
This monitor takes my pulse and transmits it to the Bum-Bum-inator, which will then broadcast my heartbeat to all the babies in the Tri-State Area.
See? You might say I'm wearing my sleeve on myâ I- I mean my heart is wearing, uh Never mind, whatever, you get it! And now, the band you've all been waiting for The Baljeatles! Hey, cool beat, Buford.
Uh Thanks? What's up, Baljeet? Your band is waiting for you onstage.
I can't do it! I just do not know how to rock! I know I am going to get a bad grade! Wait, what are you talking about, "grades"? This is Summer Rocks! There are no grades.
No grades? Oh, so it is pass/fail? No! We use a free-floating curriculum to encourage kids to just, rock out and have fun! I do not believe this! I wasted all this time in a class without grades?! Ohhhhh! If only there were some other kind of outlet for me to express these feelings, to my like-minded peer group! Pardon me! I want to try something! (Song: Gimme a Grade) Oh yeah! I have got something to say! I have been burned by vague lesson plans and a free-floating curriculum! I like my rules, baby, etched in stone 'Cause you know I am going to stick to them! Can I get a syllabus, a little discipline? Judge me on a scale from A to F! You wasted all my time learning how to rhyme Then left me hangin' from a treble clef! Somebody gimme a grade! (Somebody gimme a grade, somebody gimme a grade!) I need the man keeping me down! Somebody gimme a grade! (Somebody gimme a grade, somebody gimme a grade!) Is there a red pen in this town? Somebody gimme a grade! (Somebody gimme a grade, somebody gimme a grade!) I already said it I need some extra credit today! (Somebody gimme a grade, somebody gimme a grade!) And make it an A! Okay, now to relax and keep my heart rate slow and steady, you know 'Cause too much excitement would cause my heart to beat too fast and short out the Bum-Bum-inator.
Change time! Change time! Perry the Platypus, stop chasing me, I'm supposed to keep my heart rate down! Oh, I am so upset! I am stone cold, honor roll I won't be told how to vent! I won't cry or sigh, I'm here to testify Up with the establishment! My parents understand me, put conformity inside of me which I can help the system out! I ain't gonna waste my summer taking beatings from my drummer Put a mic in front of me and I'll shout! Gimme a grade! (Somebody gimme a grade, somebody gimme a grade!) You know I'm gonna wreck the curve! Somebody gimme a grade! (Somebody give me a grade, somebody give me a grade!) The only letter I deserve! Somebody gimme a grade! (Somebody gimme a grade, somebody gimme a grade!) This isn't a request, I demand there be a test today! (Somebody gimme a grade, somebody gimme a grade!) Gimme a grade! Uh-oh.
Not good.
Curse you, Perry theâ Wait, is that the Baljeatles? Just call me "Can't-Dance Flynn.
" Okay, that's your new nickname.
Wait, what? No! I'm not supposed to nickname myself! You're supposed to come up with it! You don't even care enough to try! Hey, wait a second! I call you Candace, but not because I don't care enough to come up with a cute nickname for you! I call you Candace 'cause I happen to really like that name.
You do? Of course I do! 'Cause it's your name.
That was easy.
Well, Baljeet, if it means anything, I'd give you an A+ in rock.
No.
That means almost nothing.
I know what we're not gonna do today! We're not gonna figure out what we are gonna do today as long as that noise keeps up! If you don't stop that racket, I am so gonna bust you empty backyard? Candace, stop trying to bust your backyard! Jeremy! Yes? Yes! We'll see you in a bit.
Thanks.
No, you get off the phoneâ Hello? So, what's the scoop? Jeremy just invited us to his friend's concert! Oh, I don't know Lately I've been feeling like a third wheel around you guys.
What? No.
I always saw it more like Jeremy and I were two wheels, and you were separate, on a unicycle all, "Doo-doo doo-doo-doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doot" Wait a minute! I just thought of something.
Jeremy's never given me a nickname! I refer you to the chart.
Oh, goody.
The chart.
See, Jeremy only calls me "Candace," and nothing else.
When a guy makes you his girlfriend, he comes up with a nickname for you.
A pet name like, "baby," "honey," "Peg-Leg Pete!" His own personal stamp! Maybe you should just let whatever happens happen.
You know, naturally.
Naturally? Where is that coming from? Baljeet's house? For such a mild-mannered kid, we wind up here for a lot of weird reasons.
Ah, I wish I had some earplugs.
Thanks dude! So, uh What up 'Jeet? Oh, uh Hello, my friends.
I did not hear you come in.
Is everything okay? If by okay, you mean that my life is a meaningless, black cauldron of swirling failure Then yes, everything is groovy.
That's not at all what I meant by "okay.
" I signed up for a class called "Summer Rocks," believing it was a geology course.
It turned out to be a rock-and-roll camp.
And no matter how hard I study, I just do not rock! I could actually get an eâ Anâ Oh, I cannot even say that terrible letter.
'Ineas! 'Erb! What am I going to do? Well, that was an interesting sound you were getting out of your guitar.
I think you'll be just fine! That was not my guitar.
That was me.
I call it, "The Fail Wail.
" Baljeet.
Baljeet! Whoa! Hey! Thank you.
We can show you how to rock! Really? Absolutely.
Hey, I think the Fail Wail scared Perry off! Ticket, please.
Right this way! Enjoy the show.
Evil.
Wait.
You.
Await.
Evil.
Awaits.
Cut, cut! Oh, come on! Sorry, Agent P.
Carl's been taking some film classes and now believes I'm stifling his creativity as my cameraman.
Camera artist.
Seems Dr.
Doofenshmirtz has been buying baby supplies all over town.
One could only imagine what he's doing.
Two can discuss it between themselves, more than two is frankly a waste of our resources.
Good luck, Agent P! Okay, once more with feeling! The agency isn't paying for these classes, are they Carl? I have read every book on the history of rock music.
Gosh, Baljeet.
Rock and roll isn't about books! It's about letting go and having fun! Rock and roll is a way for you to tell the world how you feel! Feel about what? Expressing yourself! I mean, what do you do when you're angry? Math.
Okay, what about when you're sad? Math! Happy? Ma-ath! So every feeling you have makes you want to do math? I do not know if it is so much cause and effect.
I do a lot of math! The feelings come and go.
What kind of concert is this? It's the Summer Rocks graduation concert.
Jeremy's friend, Coltrane is an instructor.
Look, there they are! Oh, that's Coltrane.
He's really cute! Hmm, I guess he is.
Hey, wait a minute.
You like Coltrane! Well, I've never actually talked to him before, but Quick, what should we do? Hide? No.
Wait, pretend you're a talent scout.
Ooh, here! I think I have a fake mustache on me! Let's just go over and say hi.
What do you think it means when a girl leaves a fake mustache at your house? Hi guys! Hey gals! Ha! "Gals.
" Yeah, that's me, "the gal.
" Gosh, when did you start calling me that? Hi, I'm Stacy.
Hey, how ya doin', Stacy? I'm Coltrane.
I like your hair.
Thanks.
I like your bow.
Let me show you round.
Cool! Hey, Coltrane and Stacy That was easy.
What? Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Aw, congratulations, it's a platypus! What do you think of my new Nanny-inator? Nice, huh? You know what time it is? Evil story time! See, I wrote my new evil scheme in pop-up book format.
Once upon a time, yesterday, like a quarter to six, I was watching a nature documentary, and I learned how before a baby's born, its constant companion is the soothing, steady beat of its mother's heart.
Even after it's born, the sound of the mother's heartbeat continues to be a safe, calming beacon to a growing child, in some cases up until their early thirties.
Suddenly, I was struck with a brilliant idea, to project the sound of my own heartbeat across the city, causing all the babies to believe that I am their leader! Like the Pied Piper, except with babies.
I will have a mighty baby army, and no one would fight back, 'cause, you know they're babies! Finally, the time came for me to tell you my evil plan in pop-up book form, and Iâ Oh, Iâ I'm sorry, theâ The book seems to have caught up to us in real time.
Anyway, behold! The Bum-Bum-inator! Rock's not about getting good grades and following the rules, it's about rebellion! It's about using music to express your true feelings and emotions! Just play how you feel! Baljeet, that'sâ That's just an A chord.
I feel like I want an A! This is gonna be harder than we thought.
Do you think you could teach me how to play the bass? Let's see if you have big bass player hands.
Ooka! Ooka! Ooka-ooka-ooka-ooka! Uh, excuse me for a second.
Ooka! I have to go talk to my friend in the bushes.
Ooka! Ooka-ooka-ooka-ooka! Cool! I gotta go get this show started.
Save me a dance? Coo-coo-coo-coo-cooo! Hooka! Ooka! Ooka-ooka-ooka-ooka! Eeka-eeka-eeka! What are you doin'? How's it going with you and Coltrane? I think it's going really well! He asked me to save him a dance! He did? What do you think he meant by that? I'm pretty sure he meant he wants to dance with me.
Hmm.
Men and their impossible endless riddles! So how's it going with you? Has Jeremy nicknamed you yet? No Maybe Jeremy just isn't the kind of guy who nicknames people.
Huh.
You could be right.
Look, here he comes now! Yo, T-Bone! Hey, Clammo! What up, Sassy Miss K? Momo! Binkie Hi Candace, where you been? I'll, uh I'll see you later.
Catch ya later, Staceroo.
What? Oh, I do not know about this! You'll be great! Just remember what we practiced.
Follow the beat and let your feelings out through the music! I am about to let my feelings out through these pleather pants! Okay, I'm almost ready, Perry the Platypus.
This monitor takes my pulse and transmits it to the Bum-Bum-inator, which will then broadcast my heartbeat to all the babies in the Tri-State Area.
See? You might say I'm wearing my sleeve on myâ I- I mean my heart is wearing, uh Never mind, whatever, you get it! And now, the band you've all been waiting for The Baljeatles! Hey, cool beat, Buford.
Uh Thanks? What's up, Baljeet? Your band is waiting for you onstage.
I can't do it! I just do not know how to rock! I know I am going to get a bad grade! Wait, what are you talking about, "grades"? This is Summer Rocks! There are no grades.
No grades? Oh, so it is pass/fail? No! We use a free-floating curriculum to encourage kids to just, rock out and have fun! I do not believe this! I wasted all this time in a class without grades?! Ohhhhh! If only there were some other kind of outlet for me to express these feelings, to my like-minded peer group! Pardon me! I want to try something! (Song: Gimme a Grade) Oh yeah! I have got something to say! I have been burned by vague lesson plans and a free-floating curriculum! I like my rules, baby, etched in stone 'Cause you know I am going to stick to them! Can I get a syllabus, a little discipline? Judge me on a scale from A to F! You wasted all my time learning how to rhyme Then left me hangin' from a treble clef! Somebody gimme a grade! (Somebody gimme a grade, somebody gimme a grade!) I need the man keeping me down! Somebody gimme a grade! (Somebody gimme a grade, somebody gimme a grade!) Is there a red pen in this town? Somebody gimme a grade! (Somebody gimme a grade, somebody gimme a grade!) I already said it I need some extra credit today! (Somebody gimme a grade, somebody gimme a grade!) And make it an A! Okay, now to relax and keep my heart rate slow and steady, you know 'Cause too much excitement would cause my heart to beat too fast and short out the Bum-Bum-inator.
Change time! Change time! Perry the Platypus, stop chasing me, I'm supposed to keep my heart rate down! Oh, I am so upset! I am stone cold, honor roll I won't be told how to vent! I won't cry or sigh, I'm here to testify Up with the establishment! My parents understand me, put conformity inside of me which I can help the system out! I ain't gonna waste my summer taking beatings from my drummer Put a mic in front of me and I'll shout! Gimme a grade! (Somebody gimme a grade, somebody gimme a grade!) You know I'm gonna wreck the curve! Somebody gimme a grade! (Somebody give me a grade, somebody give me a grade!) The only letter I deserve! Somebody gimme a grade! (Somebody gimme a grade, somebody gimme a grade!) This isn't a request, I demand there be a test today! (Somebody gimme a grade, somebody gimme a grade!) Gimme a grade! Uh-oh.
Not good.
Curse you, Perry theâ Wait, is that the Baljeatles? Just call me "Can't-Dance Flynn.
" Okay, that's your new nickname.
Wait, what? No! I'm not supposed to nickname myself! You're supposed to come up with it! You don't even care enough to try! Hey, wait a second! I call you Candace, but not because I don't care enough to come up with a cute nickname for you! I call you Candace 'cause I happen to really like that name.
You do? Of course I do! 'Cause it's your name.
That was easy.
Well, Baljeet, if it means anything, I'd give you an A+ in rock.
No.
That means almost nothing.