Phineas and Ferb s02e22 Episode Script
Vanessassary Roughness (15 min)
Dad, I need a car.
I can't keep riding on the back of your scooter every time I go someplace.
It's totally embarrassing.
Hey, sweetheart.
How'd you like to take a ride on a real bike? She's sixteen! Ooh! Yeah! You know, ever since I installed the Away-inator on my helmet, driving is fun again! Hey, Ferb, check this out.
The Super-Duper Megastore is the largest supplier of everything in the Tri-State Area.
Heh, I know what we're gonna do today! Well, I'm gonna buy Jeremy a gift.
It's the anniversary of the very first time Jeremy and I went to Slushy Burger.
He spilled a cheese dog on me and mustard got all over the place.
He was so sweet.
Hm.
Tough one.
I don't think they make a card for that.
So Mom, what are you gonna get at the store? I need a 25 pound tub of mayonnaise, and 80 pounds of potatoes to make potato salad for the bridge club.
Wow.
That's a lot of potato salad.
Remember to meet me back at the car in three hours.
Wow.
Think of it, Ferb.
You can whistle that again.
And you get to go to the pet-sitter's, Perry.
If you want a car, you're going to have to prove to me that you're responsible, that you can do things by yourself.
How could I do that when I'm always on the back of your scooter? It's a conundrum, isn't it? Psst.
Agent P.
Agent P.
Down here.
It's the new dog bone communicator.
Pretty clever, huh? I thought of it, Agent P.
Carl, I'm trying to use the bone.
Anyway, Agent P, we've learned that Dr.
Doofenshmirtz is shopping for parts to build another one of his outlandish devices.
Put a tail on him.
You look fabulous! So I've got to find some way to prove to you I'm responsible.
There must be an easier way to earn a car.
You know what they say about taking the easy way.
What do they say? Well, I could tell you, but that would be taking the easy way, and you know what they say about that.
Ooh, look! Pizzazium Infinionite! What's that? You've heard of hydrogen.
You may know boron.
But of all the elements on the periodic table, none is more fascinating and less abundant than Pizzazium Infinionite.
Pizzazium Infinionite was first discovered by fortune hunters fifty years ago in the year 1894.
No one is really sure what it does, but look to the future for hover vehicles powered by Pizzazium Infinionite, in the world of tomorrow! See? That's what it is.
Where did you get theâ It's gone! Someone took the last one! What luck! Pizzazzium Infinionite! That science prize is as good as mine! So why am I here again? Because, as a person of superior intellect, I require an angry wall of meat to protect my science project.
Angry wall of meat, huh? Yeah, I can do that.
Oh, great.
Now I have to scour this whole place and find the Pizzazzium and probably have to wrench it out of the hands of some random shopper.
Wait, Dad.
I can do this for you.
I can go find thisâ this Pizzazzium thing and prove to you that I can be responsible.
That I can do things on my own.
Then you can get me my own car, right? I don't know.
Are you sure you canâ Of course I can.
I'm me.
It'll be a piece of cake.
We'll see.
I'm not hearing a no.
I'm not saying a yes.
Here, you can take this Pizzazzium locator.
It'll help.
How am I gonna find that one perfect gift in this humongous store? Hey, isn't Jeremy into camping? Yeah.
So maybe a pocket knife, or a fishing lure, or a compound bow.
Take that, apple on kid's head! He said he needed a lantern! Yeah, a lantern's good.
And then I will start my own foundation to Are you not hearing me? What? Buford hungry.
I really have to rethink having you as my wall of meat.
Too big.
Too small.
Oh, I don't want just get him any old lantern.
You can't expect the perfect gift to just drop out of the sky.
But Whoa.
It's perfect! It's all futuristic-y, and cool, and it dropped out of the sky! Well, I guess I stand corrected.
When Jeremy looks into its bright glow, he'll think of mâ Hey, what's this? Hey buddy, watch where you'reâ Say, you look fabulous.
Haven't I seen you somewhere before? No need to get huffy, you ran into me! Ahhh.
You know Ferb, I think I know what I want to do every day.
Well, that was easy.
I gotta get it.
Gotta get it, Gotta get it, gotta get it, Gotta get it, gotta get it, gotta get it, Gotta get it, gotta get it, gotta get it, gotta get it, Gotta get it, gotta get it, gotta get it, gotta get it, gotta get it, gotta get it Gotta get it! Yes! Mine! Mine mine mine mine mine mine! Hey, watch where you'reâ Oh, great, now this thing is broken, and they've got the Pizzazziuâ Look, thanks for your help, but I can do this on my own, okay? That lantern was the perfect gift.
Woo-hoo! Buford and Baljeet! How did they get it? (Song: I'm Me) I can do it, I can run, I can hunt you down You can try but you can't stop me 'cause I'm gainin' ground I'm light on my feet and I'm quick to the punch I had a heavy breakfast but a real light lunch I'm a raging bonfire A cherry bomb I'm me I'm rough-and-tumble, I'm the one to beat I'm a fresh coat of blacktop burnin' at your feet I've got a poisonous sting, when I rain I pour I'm the best of the best, I'm the soup du jour I'm smooth as glass and sharp as a tack I'm me I'm the last and best stick of gum in the pack I'm me I'm a strong woman, fast-talkin', big bad dog-walkin' Hifalutin', drum-beatin', foot-stompin', corn-poppin' Speedy locomotive that just won't stop! I'm a hot apple pie with a cherry on top! I'm a crowd-pleasin', head-spinnin' Winnin' in the ninth inning Whip-lashin', record-smashin' Black-tie party-crashin' Cyclone of fun, I'm an army of one! I'm strawberry sprinkles on a hot cross bun! I'm a big haymaker in a title fight I'm a cute black kitten with a nasty bite I'm an action double-feature on a Friday night! I'm me! I'm me! I'm me! I'm me! I'm me! Ferb, you've gotta try this chair! I can't feel my brain! Ugh, I hope nobody sees me in here.
Ferb, honey, aren't you a little old to be playing in the ball pit? Yes.
Yes, I am.
Okay, then.
Your name is Ferb? Well, yes.
It's short forâ Oh, here it is.
Thanks, Ferb! See you around! Push button, start mower.
Does this really work? I will take that! Ferb, my fingers look just like snakes! Oh, it's one of those 3D things.
I can hardly see theâ Oop, there it is.
Ferb! Check it out! They do make a card for a spilled cheese dog with mustard.
Well, Ferb, you certainly know how to show a girl a good time! I've gotta get this to my dad immediately.
Whoa! Well, that worked.
I got it! I got it! I got it! Excuse me, sir.
You know you have to pay for this.
I was! I was going to pay! Tell it to the judge.
Don't worry, guys, we'llâ We'll get this all straightened out.
Vaâ Vanessa! Vanessâ No, no.
You can't take me, I don't have anyone to curse! Whoa, Mom.
Do you think you found everything you need? I think I have enough to tide over the bridge club.
That's a lot of potato salad.
Well, time to find out where they dragged Dad off to.
Guess that car will have to wait.
Oh, yeah.
Thanks.
Did I miss something? Thanks, Ferb.
I can't keep riding on the back of your scooter every time I go someplace.
It's totally embarrassing.
Hey, sweetheart.
How'd you like to take a ride on a real bike? She's sixteen! Ooh! Yeah! You know, ever since I installed the Away-inator on my helmet, driving is fun again! Hey, Ferb, check this out.
The Super-Duper Megastore is the largest supplier of everything in the Tri-State Area.
Heh, I know what we're gonna do today! Well, I'm gonna buy Jeremy a gift.
It's the anniversary of the very first time Jeremy and I went to Slushy Burger.
He spilled a cheese dog on me and mustard got all over the place.
He was so sweet.
Hm.
Tough one.
I don't think they make a card for that.
So Mom, what are you gonna get at the store? I need a 25 pound tub of mayonnaise, and 80 pounds of potatoes to make potato salad for the bridge club.
Wow.
That's a lot of potato salad.
Remember to meet me back at the car in three hours.
Wow.
Think of it, Ferb.
You can whistle that again.
And you get to go to the pet-sitter's, Perry.
If you want a car, you're going to have to prove to me that you're responsible, that you can do things by yourself.
How could I do that when I'm always on the back of your scooter? It's a conundrum, isn't it? Psst.
Agent P.
Agent P.
Down here.
It's the new dog bone communicator.
Pretty clever, huh? I thought of it, Agent P.
Carl, I'm trying to use the bone.
Anyway, Agent P, we've learned that Dr.
Doofenshmirtz is shopping for parts to build another one of his outlandish devices.
Put a tail on him.
You look fabulous! So I've got to find some way to prove to you I'm responsible.
There must be an easier way to earn a car.
You know what they say about taking the easy way.
What do they say? Well, I could tell you, but that would be taking the easy way, and you know what they say about that.
Ooh, look! Pizzazium Infinionite! What's that? You've heard of hydrogen.
You may know boron.
But of all the elements on the periodic table, none is more fascinating and less abundant than Pizzazium Infinionite.
Pizzazium Infinionite was first discovered by fortune hunters fifty years ago in the year 1894.
No one is really sure what it does, but look to the future for hover vehicles powered by Pizzazium Infinionite, in the world of tomorrow! See? That's what it is.
Where did you get theâ It's gone! Someone took the last one! What luck! Pizzazzium Infinionite! That science prize is as good as mine! So why am I here again? Because, as a person of superior intellect, I require an angry wall of meat to protect my science project.
Angry wall of meat, huh? Yeah, I can do that.
Oh, great.
Now I have to scour this whole place and find the Pizzazzium and probably have to wrench it out of the hands of some random shopper.
Wait, Dad.
I can do this for you.
I can go find thisâ this Pizzazzium thing and prove to you that I can be responsible.
That I can do things on my own.
Then you can get me my own car, right? I don't know.
Are you sure you canâ Of course I can.
I'm me.
It'll be a piece of cake.
We'll see.
I'm not hearing a no.
I'm not saying a yes.
Here, you can take this Pizzazzium locator.
It'll help.
How am I gonna find that one perfect gift in this humongous store? Hey, isn't Jeremy into camping? Yeah.
So maybe a pocket knife, or a fishing lure, or a compound bow.
Take that, apple on kid's head! He said he needed a lantern! Yeah, a lantern's good.
And then I will start my own foundation to Are you not hearing me? What? Buford hungry.
I really have to rethink having you as my wall of meat.
Too big.
Too small.
Oh, I don't want just get him any old lantern.
You can't expect the perfect gift to just drop out of the sky.
But Whoa.
It's perfect! It's all futuristic-y, and cool, and it dropped out of the sky! Well, I guess I stand corrected.
When Jeremy looks into its bright glow, he'll think of mâ Hey, what's this? Hey buddy, watch where you'reâ Say, you look fabulous.
Haven't I seen you somewhere before? No need to get huffy, you ran into me! Ahhh.
You know Ferb, I think I know what I want to do every day.
Well, that was easy.
I gotta get it.
Gotta get it, Gotta get it, gotta get it, Gotta get it, gotta get it, gotta get it, Gotta get it, gotta get it, gotta get it, gotta get it, Gotta get it, gotta get it, gotta get it, gotta get it, gotta get it, gotta get it Gotta get it! Yes! Mine! Mine mine mine mine mine mine! Hey, watch where you'reâ Oh, great, now this thing is broken, and they've got the Pizzazziuâ Look, thanks for your help, but I can do this on my own, okay? That lantern was the perfect gift.
Woo-hoo! Buford and Baljeet! How did they get it? (Song: I'm Me) I can do it, I can run, I can hunt you down You can try but you can't stop me 'cause I'm gainin' ground I'm light on my feet and I'm quick to the punch I had a heavy breakfast but a real light lunch I'm a raging bonfire A cherry bomb I'm me I'm rough-and-tumble, I'm the one to beat I'm a fresh coat of blacktop burnin' at your feet I've got a poisonous sting, when I rain I pour I'm the best of the best, I'm the soup du jour I'm smooth as glass and sharp as a tack I'm me I'm the last and best stick of gum in the pack I'm me I'm a strong woman, fast-talkin', big bad dog-walkin' Hifalutin', drum-beatin', foot-stompin', corn-poppin' Speedy locomotive that just won't stop! I'm a hot apple pie with a cherry on top! I'm a crowd-pleasin', head-spinnin' Winnin' in the ninth inning Whip-lashin', record-smashin' Black-tie party-crashin' Cyclone of fun, I'm an army of one! I'm strawberry sprinkles on a hot cross bun! I'm a big haymaker in a title fight I'm a cute black kitten with a nasty bite I'm an action double-feature on a Friday night! I'm me! I'm me! I'm me! I'm me! I'm me! Ferb, you've gotta try this chair! I can't feel my brain! Ugh, I hope nobody sees me in here.
Ferb, honey, aren't you a little old to be playing in the ball pit? Yes.
Yes, I am.
Okay, then.
Your name is Ferb? Well, yes.
It's short forâ Oh, here it is.
Thanks, Ferb! See you around! Push button, start mower.
Does this really work? I will take that! Ferb, my fingers look just like snakes! Oh, it's one of those 3D things.
I can hardly see theâ Oop, there it is.
Ferb! Check it out! They do make a card for a spilled cheese dog with mustard.
Well, Ferb, you certainly know how to show a girl a good time! I've gotta get this to my dad immediately.
Whoa! Well, that worked.
I got it! I got it! I got it! Excuse me, sir.
You know you have to pay for this.
I was! I was going to pay! Tell it to the judge.
Don't worry, guys, we'llâ We'll get this all straightened out.
Vaâ Vanessa! Vanessâ No, no.
You can't take me, I don't have anyone to curse! Whoa, Mom.
Do you think you found everything you need? I think I have enough to tide over the bridge club.
That's a lot of potato salad.
Well, time to find out where they dragged Dad off to.
Guess that car will have to wait.
Oh, yeah.
Thanks.
Did I miss something? Thanks, Ferb.