Phineas and Ferb s03e59 Episode Script

So then the seamstress walks back into the stateroom and says " 'Titanium'? I thought she said 'cranium'!" Yeah.
Pretty good punch line, huh? Yes.
All you need is the first part, and then you will have a whole joke.
Hey, look, everyone! Ferb and Perry are back.
Hey, Ferb! What'cha doin' back from debate camp so soon? We finished earlier than expected.
You're right.
Judges, he's right.
He's changed my entire world-view.
Thank you.
It's so beautiful.
That kid is in it to win it, dawg.
You're just in time for acorn nut muffins made out of the training nuts from yesterday! Training nuts? Okay, what did I miss? It all started simply enough.
I'd gotten up early to help Isabella earn her Surf patch.
Thanks for helping me earn my Surf patch! And I told her it was no problem.
No problem.
It was at that point that I decided to stop narrating.
My schedule's wide open.
Here.
Take a look at this.
I figured I'd make a few prototypes and once you pick your favorite, we'll design your board to look just like it.
Aw, they're so cute and tiny, a squirrel could surf on them.
Now, if we only had a box of squirrels.
We found a box of squirrels! Yeah, right next to a box of scorpions, which is what I wanted to bring over.
Buford, I won Rochambeau fair and square.
What's Rochambeau? Rock-paper-scissors! Why didn't he just say that? In what universe would a piece of paper ever beat a rock? Hey, let's see the little guys.
Okay, but do not expect too much from them.
What's wrong with them? They appear to have been domesticated.
They have no squirrel skills.
Check it out.
Here, little squirrellies.
Here is a nut.
It's a nut, you eat it.
I see what you mean.
No squirrel skills.
Ferb, I– Oh, that's right, he went to debate camp today.
Oh, oh! I will be Ferb! I have been practicing! That's pretty good, Baljeet.
Wow! It's as if he's right in front of us.
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Say "where's Perry?" now.
I've been practicing.
Okay.
Where's Perry? I don't know.
What are you asking me for? And so, that's how the day began.
Hey, where's Perry now? Welcome back, Agent P.
We hope you had a pleasant day off.
Anyways, there's a crisis brewing in Danville, and it could destroy the very fabric of our existence.
There's never been a greater threat.
Peaches! Oh, you probably want me to explain the– There's been a shortage of peaches in Danville lately, and we've traced it to Doofenshmirtz.
Go find out what he's up to, and good luck.
Go find out what he's up to, and good luck.
Wow.
Guess he's in a hurry.
It was about that time that Candace came up to us and said Phineas and Ferb, I demand to know what it is that you've got planned today! Yeah, that.
Exactly like yesterday! Except for the Ferb part.
Yeah, yeah, thanks.
What are you guys doing? We're talking about what we did yesterday.
So, it's like, a confession? Sure.
Oh, it's perfect.
I'll go get Mom and she can hear everything.
Good idea, Can– Now, don't say another word until we get back.
And that goes for you, too.
That was ironic, because Ferb doesn't usually talk.
Duh! Hello, Perry the Platypus! I take it for granted sometimes what a professional you are, especially after dealing with that guy they sent instead of you yesterday.
So, how was debate camp? You're right.
Judges, he's right.
He's changed my entire world-view.
And I thought that British kid was persuasive.
You know, if you were flashing back just now, I couldn't see it.
I'll bet you're wondering what I'm doing here at the beach at the clam bake with an oven.
I'll bet you're wondering what I'm doing here at the beach at the clam bake with an oven.
I'll bet you're wondering what I'm doing here at the beach at the clam bake with an oven.
And normally, I'd be all about telling you, and it's a really cool plan, too! It involves my latest invention, the Peach Cobbler-inator.
But I'm getting way ahead of myself.
I have to tell you about yesterday for any of this to make any sense! It all started with an establishing shot at my building.
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Yesterday Huh.
Perry the Platypus should be arriving right about now! Perry the Platypus should be arriving right about now! How completely unexpected! And by that I mean, i-it really was actually unexpected.
Well, you have a hat, so you must be an agent.
I guess that means Perry the Platypus is not coming, so A-ha! Consider yourself trapped.
Allow me to explain my diabolical plan.
You see, my brother, Roger, the Mayor, is hosting a beauty contest that will– Hey! For Pete's sake, I'm pontificating here! Sheesh! Okay.
Okay, long evil plan short, I wanted to ruin Roger's day.
You see, he's officiating at an Everyone's A Winner beauty pageant.
Ugh! That's so him.
Uh, my scheme involved domesticated squirrels, paper doilies, and those containers that pantyhose used to come in.
You know, about this big? But, I couldn't figure out a way to make them all work together because I was distracted by a leaky faucet in the kitchen! Turns out that that was actually the perfect idea.
So I ditched the squirrels You know, this isn't really making my evil plan short like I promised.
Sorry.
Anyway, behold! The A-Leaky-Faucet-inator.
I will disgrace and humiliate Roger by dropping one big drop of water and– Hey, where'd you go? Oh, no! You're getting coffee grounds everywhere! Ugh, this is so much smoother with Perry the Platypus.
I'm just saying.
Right out here, Mom! Hi, kids! All right, what's this all about? We're telling Ferb the story of what we did yesterday.
Oh, I love stories! Oh! Oh, it's not just stories, but full disclosure! Okay.
Go ahead.
Well, we finally got to the musical part of the story.
We all decided it was high time to teach the squirrels how to be squirrels.
(Song: Be a Squirrel) So you've been domesticated Lost your identity Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Just listen up and you can learn to be the best that you can be Gather nuts and scurry And dodge a car or three If you concentrate you'll graduate and learn to climb a tree But for now we'll show you how to make every chestnut count We'll make you sweat, you won't regret Remember, put them in your mouth Be a squirrel (Come along, be a rodent trainee) Be a squirrel (And you will finally be free) Be a squirrel! (Be at the top of your family tree) Be a squirrel! (Be a squirrel, it's your destiny) Buford, you taught the squirrels to dance? I'm like an onion.
Because you have layers? Yeah, that, too.
Anyway, after I cleaned up the coffee grounds, I loaded the A-Leaky-Faucet-inator and Agent R, I guess onto my rocket skiff and headed off to Roger's beauty contest.
We arrived just in time for the swimsuit competition.
Oh, very nice.
Twelve meters! We have a new record.
There he is, the big show-off.
With his big smile and his keys in his pocket and his lumberjack-like– Hey! Hey, no.
Shoo! Shoo! Get out of here.
Go– Go find another symbiotic relationship! Anyway, now that we've– Hey! Hey, what do you– This actually feels great.
Oh, I see why you like it.
A-Anyway, and I'm going to power up the inator now.
Here we go.
Powering up.
Yup.
You know, uh This is the time where you escape and try to destroy my inator.
Oh, for Pete's sake, I– There! Now, attack! Start thwarting! No– No, no, no, no, don't just walk awa– I miss Perry the Platypus.
Whoa! Wait, wait, wait.
Watch out there! And why isn't the water coming off?! It's beautiful! Good job, cadets! Now, back down the tree.
No, not like that! Head first! Sheesh! It's like I'm talking to myself here.
Let's go, Mom.
You got to see this.
Wow, look at 'em go! They're doing a pyramid! I didn't even teach them that.
Good luck, little guys.
I'll think of you whenever I get a rabies shot! Which is often.
Thank you, Katie Bogosian, for the whistling belly button performance.
You probably should see a doctor.
But that concludes our talent competition, unless there are any last-minute drop-ins? It's so beautiful.
That pharmacist is in it to win it, dawg! See, I'm actually talking to a dog.
That's right.
Talkin' to a dawg.
And I was crowned King Pretty Pretty Princess.
Which, now that I think of it, is a contradiction in terms, but it was the first time I ever won anything.
So it's gotten me all obsessed about entering contests.
But the only thing I'm good at is baking peach cobbler, so I– I invented Oh, yeah.
I told you, "Behold the Peach-Cobbler-inator" .
What it does is it makes everyone want peach cobbler more than anything else in the world.
So whether it's a chili cook-off or a dancing competition or a quilting bee, or whatever, th-the judges will be compelled to choose peach cobbler as the winner every time.
Plus, it's waterproof, it's shockproof, it's windproof, it's– Huh.
But it isn't sandproof.
Fancy that.
I suppose, since I planned to take it to the beach, maybe I should have considered Curse you, Perry the Platypus! And my own poor planning skills! Oh, no! M-My cobbler! Oh! How can this day get any worse? Ow! Does that mean this thing's been flying around since yesterday? So, there you have it! Are you gonna bust them, or what? Wait.
Okay, go ahead.
Actually, I just love that you kids trained poor, abandoned little squirrels and helped them get back to the wild.
I am so proud of you! No, you can't! I want justice! I want peach cobbler.
I want peach cobbler.
Well, lucky for you, I made peach cobbler.
Peach cobbler.
I heard you the first time, honey.
Been domesticated Lost your identity Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Just listen up and you can learn to be the best that you can be Gather nuts and scurry And dodge a car or three If you concentrate you'll graduate and learn to climb a tree Be a squirrel (Come along, be a rodent trainee) Be a squirrel! (Be a squirrel, it's your destiny)