Phineas and Ferb s05e08 Episode Script
It's No Picnic
1 There's a hundred and four days of summer vacation and school comes along just to end it So the annual problem for our generation is finding a good way to spend it Like maybe Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy or climbing up the Eiffel Tower Discovering something that doesn't exist Hey! Or giving a monkey a shower Surfing tidal waves Creating nano-bots or locating Frankenstein's brain It's over here! Finding a dodo bird, painting a continent Or driving our sister insane Phineas! As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do before school starts this fall Come on, Perry.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all! So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all! Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence! Come on gang.
Let's get started on building our mega-mondo Ah! No can do, dinner bell.
It's family day, and the Van Stomms from the low countries are visiting.
- Buford is outtie, G.
- Well, that's a bummer, but we can come up with some workarounds.
- So if you two - No can do, Phineas.
I am taking an East Indian cooking class.
We are going to make goat vindaloo.
If we can ever find a goat.
[GOAT BLEATING.]
Oh, there is one now! Got to run! Well, good luck! Well, the plans will still work with just three of us.
I'm afraid your plans will have to wait until after Ferb's dental appointment.
- Come on, honey.
Time to go.
- All right.
Wow, I've never seen Ferb so nervous.
Hmm Well, I guess it's just the two of us, huh? [SQUEALING.]
Isabella, are you all right? Oh.
Oh, yeah.
We could spend the day together.
- That would be fun.
Whatever.
- Let's see, with only two of us, we'd have to reallocate some weight in order to Hmm.
Well, maybe if we just reduce the amount of [SIGHS.]
Nope, that won't fly either.
You know, this is a lot harder without Ferb around.
But he never says anything.
It's not what he doesn't say, it's how he doesn't say it.
Well, I could get the Fireside Girl Manual for inspiration.
That sounds great! Thanks! Wow, even Perry's gone.
But that's pretty normal.
CHORUS: # Dooby, dooby doo, bah Dooby, dooby, doo, bah # Perry! I see you've taken our new breakfast-themed lair entrance.
It's the most important lair entrance of the day.
Anyhoo, OWCA has surveillance footage of Doofenshmirtz raiding thrift store dollar bins.
We're not sure if it's evil, but it's well, it's just kind of pathetic.
Get to the bottom of this and stop Doof's potential poverty-driven criminal freak-out! And, uh, how about you pick up a cup of coffee for him on your way over? It's on me.
Use some petty cash.
I feel bad for the poor guy.
[RINGING.]
[GASPING.]
The Fireside Phone! Gretchen at the ready, ma'am.
Commence debriefing.
Gretchen, we have a Code Pink! Romeo is alone! Repeat, Romeo is alone! Roger that.
Don't panic, we're on our way.
Reporting for duty, ma'am.
The troop is establishing the mobile tactical headquarters as we speak.
Nice hustle.
I know, right? With Phineas and Ferb split up for the day, it's practically a vacation! Yes, I know we're already on summer vacation, Stace.
I was just What? A Fireside Girls Mobile Tactical Unit? Sorry, Stace! Gotta go! [CELL PHONE BEEPS.]
Okay, what are you doing and what does it have to do with my brothers? Um, it's something of a delicate matter.
- Romeo is all go! - Delicate? Well, you might not know, but I have a little bit of a crush on Phineas.
GINGER: "Little" being subjective.
- Stand down, Fireside Girl.
- Totally get the crush thing.
You know, I don't quite get the Phineas thing.
I mean, you do realize his head is a triangle? - [SIGHS.]
Yeah.
It's so acute.
- Whatever.
I have got your back, sister.
I will stay out of the yard and keep Mom out of the way, too.
Like that should be difficult.
[DOORBELL PLAYING DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INC THEME.]
Oh, it's you, Perry the Platypus.
What, for me? Oh! That's a nice gesture, thanks.
And you even used the doorbell, instead of just crashing through like you usually do.
I really appreciate this, Perry the Platypus, 'cause, you know, money's a little tight lately.
I can't even rub two nickels together.
Although, if I had two nickels, I don't think I would sit and rub them together.
It's Oh, oh, yeah, you're you're trapped, Perry the Platypus.
It's quick-hardening, non-dairy creamer.
Like I said, I'm on a budget.
I know what you're thinking, Perry the Platypus.
How could this happen to such a with-it guy like Heinz Doofenshmirtz? Well, my ex-wife Charlene is out of the country on one of those extreme eco-cultural exploration vacations.
I don't know what they do on those trips, but I imagine it's very expensive.
Oh, she's got some nerve! That's my alimony she's throwing away.
And the worst is, she keeps texting me these pics.
[CELL PHONE VIBRATING.]
Oh, come on, really? Anyway, the problem is, I've already spent this month's alimony on my new inator.
And now I don't have enough money left to send Vanessa to the Grievance Movie Marathon she wants to see.
They're playing all the Grievance movies in order.
They got The Grievance, they've got Grievance 2: The Gripe, Grievance 3: Bone to Pick, and Grievance 4: The Revenge of the Italian Jug Band.
Yeah, I don't think that last one is canon.
Oh, what kind of father am I? Oh! Oh, the shame is overwhelming.
I can't even enjoy using my new Teleport-inator.
[OMINOUS DRUMS PLAYING.]
Nah, nah.
I'm just not in the mood.
Maybe tomorrow.
[DRUMMING STOPS.]
And it was such a stellar plan, too.
I was gonna use it to send City Hall, and consequently my brother, Roger, back to Drusselstein and out of his mayoral jurisdiction.
No fuss, no muss.
Just "bzzt" and he's gone instantly.
[SIGHS.]
If only it were that easy to get Vanessa to the movie theater.
Wait Wait a second! I could just add another setting to my Teleport-inator and send Vanessa directly to the theater and completely bypass those ridiculously inflated movie ticket prices.
Oh, man, am I good! That deserves a victory sip! [SLURPING.]
Ugh! Wait, what is this? Decaf? It's like you don't even know me! All right, Fireside Girls, initiating Operation Perfect Picnic.
Roger that! Well, looks like the operation is in Phase Two, and I am gonna make myself scarce.
Cadet Flynn is out.
Peace! Here we go.
Well, let's just take a look - You know, I'm kind of hungry.
- Well, then why not just have a picnic? Wow! What a great idea! And I just happen to have a picnic basket right here! Ooh, she's good.
Wow! Way to be prepared, Isabella! Just doing my Fireside Girl thang.
I packed it with some Mexican-Jewish delicacies, like Gefilte-flan! It wobbles! BOTH: Ew! [LAUGHING.]
That looks ridiculous.
[ALARM BEEPING.]
Oh, no, we've got a Code Irving! Strike team, deploy! Let's see what else I've got.
[GASPING.]
[THUDDING.]
Did you hear something? Nope.
Mission accomplished.
Hello, ladies! [GROWLS.]
The fox hops over the log, the rabbit crawls under the log Okay, got it! Now, to send [THUDDING.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
And now, to send my daughter to the movies! [TRIUMPHANT DRUMS PLAYING.]
No, see, it just doesn't work in this instance.
You know what, you guys just take the rest of the day off.
- You wanna go see a movie? - Yeah, sure.
How about Grievance 4? Hey, Vanessa, pumpkin pants, can you come in here for a second? Good news, sweetie.
I can send you to the movies after all! Really, Dad, it's no big deal.
Ducky Mo, Ducky Momo! Ducky Mo, Ducky Momo! I did it! And now that my Super Dad status is intact, it's time to take care of business! And by "business," I mean evil! It's time to set my sights on city [GROANS.]
- Hmm - Oh, now I get it.
Huh.
I didn't count on an oscillate function.
Somehow, I don't think this bodes well for my plan.
That one's one of my own creations.
I call it the enchillatke.
It was delicious.
Now, here we are.
Gladys, we have a runner.
[YAWNING.]
[GASPS.]
Hey, Ferb! You're back! Brilliant! See what I mean, Isabella? Yeah, it's how he doesn't say it.
Let's get to work.
This will be the biggest picnic ever! I'll get the tools.
All right, girls, Union Jack is back.
Operation Perfect Picnic is now Operation Ginormous, Nonromantic, Overblown Picnic.
Al flabahem abla flapabla.
It's all right, big guy.
You guys just do what you do.
Looks like we're gonna need a change of venue.
How about the park? What do you know, no more Perry the Platypus.
Transported to some random location somewhere.
Ow! Ahhh! Ow! [CHUCKLING.]
Thanks for introducing me to the ironic enjoyment of Ducky Momo, Candace.
Ironic, yeah! [CHUCKLING.]
So, your dad was really raised by wild ocelots? OMG, I wish that was the weirdest thing about my family.
Candace? Oh.
You know, amusement parks really aren't my thing, but knock yourself out, girl! Ducky Mo, Ducky Momo He's your very best friend Okay.
I said I'd give them space for a romantic picnic.
That is not a romantic picnic! That is bust-town, USA.
Here's where I'll make my final stand I'm gonna bust my brothers down in picnic land In picnic land It'll be a pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! A pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! A pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! A pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! I can bust them at the grill or the hot dog on the hill A pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! I can take 'em at the waffle tram with a side of double ham A pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! This is gonna be my finest hour 'Cause now I'm gonna bust the boys with picnic power It'll be a pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! A pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! A pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! [ALL WHOOPING.]
A pic-a-nic-a-nic I am so gonna relish this bust! Ma! Honey, it'll have to wait.
I've got to go pick up Ferb from the dentist.
Ma! Ferb's here.
At the park.
Oh, well, he must've gotten out early.
I'm on my way.
Try our famous Tjinder family vindaloo.
No, no, try our Van Stomm family bitterballen.
- Try the vindaloo! - Bitterballen! - Vindaloo! - Bitterballen! [BOTH GRUNTING.]
Hey, you got your bitterballen in my vindaloo.
And you got your vindaloo all over my bitterballen.
I wonder if these two great tastes will taste great together? - Nah, we should kill this with fire.
- Agreed.
Ahh! Help! Ow! [SHRIEKS.]
What happened? Something just happened! I smell bitterballen! Where are we? Hey, not bad! I could totally go for a mid-afternoon nosh.
What are you doing? Curse you, Perry the - Over here! You gotta see this! - Oh, Candace, you're right.
- I am? - That is just adorable.
- What? - Wow, I don't know where it all went.
It's a good thing we brought our own basket, huh? [ISABELLA SQUEALING.]
[SLAPPING HERSELF.]
Yes.
Yes, it is.
Come on, Candace.
Let's go home.
But-but-but, a whole park! - Yep, and just the two of them.
- CANDACE: I get it.
But, ew.
So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all! So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all! Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence! Come on gang.
Let's get started on building our mega-mondo Ah! No can do, dinner bell.
It's family day, and the Van Stomms from the low countries are visiting.
- Buford is outtie, G.
- Well, that's a bummer, but we can come up with some workarounds.
- So if you two - No can do, Phineas.
I am taking an East Indian cooking class.
We are going to make goat vindaloo.
If we can ever find a goat.
[GOAT BLEATING.]
Oh, there is one now! Got to run! Well, good luck! Well, the plans will still work with just three of us.
I'm afraid your plans will have to wait until after Ferb's dental appointment.
- Come on, honey.
Time to go.
- All right.
Wow, I've never seen Ferb so nervous.
Hmm Well, I guess it's just the two of us, huh? [SQUEALING.]
Isabella, are you all right? Oh.
Oh, yeah.
We could spend the day together.
- That would be fun.
Whatever.
- Let's see, with only two of us, we'd have to reallocate some weight in order to Hmm.
Well, maybe if we just reduce the amount of [SIGHS.]
Nope, that won't fly either.
You know, this is a lot harder without Ferb around.
But he never says anything.
It's not what he doesn't say, it's how he doesn't say it.
Well, I could get the Fireside Girl Manual for inspiration.
That sounds great! Thanks! Wow, even Perry's gone.
But that's pretty normal.
CHORUS: # Dooby, dooby doo, bah Dooby, dooby, doo, bah # Perry! I see you've taken our new breakfast-themed lair entrance.
It's the most important lair entrance of the day.
Anyhoo, OWCA has surveillance footage of Doofenshmirtz raiding thrift store dollar bins.
We're not sure if it's evil, but it's well, it's just kind of pathetic.
Get to the bottom of this and stop Doof's potential poverty-driven criminal freak-out! And, uh, how about you pick up a cup of coffee for him on your way over? It's on me.
Use some petty cash.
I feel bad for the poor guy.
[RINGING.]
[GASPING.]
The Fireside Phone! Gretchen at the ready, ma'am.
Commence debriefing.
Gretchen, we have a Code Pink! Romeo is alone! Repeat, Romeo is alone! Roger that.
Don't panic, we're on our way.
Reporting for duty, ma'am.
The troop is establishing the mobile tactical headquarters as we speak.
Nice hustle.
I know, right? With Phineas and Ferb split up for the day, it's practically a vacation! Yes, I know we're already on summer vacation, Stace.
I was just What? A Fireside Girls Mobile Tactical Unit? Sorry, Stace! Gotta go! [CELL PHONE BEEPS.]
Okay, what are you doing and what does it have to do with my brothers? Um, it's something of a delicate matter.
- Romeo is all go! - Delicate? Well, you might not know, but I have a little bit of a crush on Phineas.
GINGER: "Little" being subjective.
- Stand down, Fireside Girl.
- Totally get the crush thing.
You know, I don't quite get the Phineas thing.
I mean, you do realize his head is a triangle? - [SIGHS.]
Yeah.
It's so acute.
- Whatever.
I have got your back, sister.
I will stay out of the yard and keep Mom out of the way, too.
Like that should be difficult.
[DOORBELL PLAYING DOOFENSHMIRTZ EVIL INC THEME.]
Oh, it's you, Perry the Platypus.
What, for me? Oh! That's a nice gesture, thanks.
And you even used the doorbell, instead of just crashing through like you usually do.
I really appreciate this, Perry the Platypus, 'cause, you know, money's a little tight lately.
I can't even rub two nickels together.
Although, if I had two nickels, I don't think I would sit and rub them together.
It's Oh, oh, yeah, you're you're trapped, Perry the Platypus.
It's quick-hardening, non-dairy creamer.
Like I said, I'm on a budget.
I know what you're thinking, Perry the Platypus.
How could this happen to such a with-it guy like Heinz Doofenshmirtz? Well, my ex-wife Charlene is out of the country on one of those extreme eco-cultural exploration vacations.
I don't know what they do on those trips, but I imagine it's very expensive.
Oh, she's got some nerve! That's my alimony she's throwing away.
And the worst is, she keeps texting me these pics.
[CELL PHONE VIBRATING.]
Oh, come on, really? Anyway, the problem is, I've already spent this month's alimony on my new inator.
And now I don't have enough money left to send Vanessa to the Grievance Movie Marathon she wants to see.
They're playing all the Grievance movies in order.
They got The Grievance, they've got Grievance 2: The Gripe, Grievance 3: Bone to Pick, and Grievance 4: The Revenge of the Italian Jug Band.
Yeah, I don't think that last one is canon.
Oh, what kind of father am I? Oh! Oh, the shame is overwhelming.
I can't even enjoy using my new Teleport-inator.
[OMINOUS DRUMS PLAYING.]
Nah, nah.
I'm just not in the mood.
Maybe tomorrow.
[DRUMMING STOPS.]
And it was such a stellar plan, too.
I was gonna use it to send City Hall, and consequently my brother, Roger, back to Drusselstein and out of his mayoral jurisdiction.
No fuss, no muss.
Just "bzzt" and he's gone instantly.
[SIGHS.]
If only it were that easy to get Vanessa to the movie theater.
Wait Wait a second! I could just add another setting to my Teleport-inator and send Vanessa directly to the theater and completely bypass those ridiculously inflated movie ticket prices.
Oh, man, am I good! That deserves a victory sip! [SLURPING.]
Ugh! Wait, what is this? Decaf? It's like you don't even know me! All right, Fireside Girls, initiating Operation Perfect Picnic.
Roger that! Well, looks like the operation is in Phase Two, and I am gonna make myself scarce.
Cadet Flynn is out.
Peace! Here we go.
Well, let's just take a look - You know, I'm kind of hungry.
- Well, then why not just have a picnic? Wow! What a great idea! And I just happen to have a picnic basket right here! Ooh, she's good.
Wow! Way to be prepared, Isabella! Just doing my Fireside Girl thang.
I packed it with some Mexican-Jewish delicacies, like Gefilte-flan! It wobbles! BOTH: Ew! [LAUGHING.]
That looks ridiculous.
[ALARM BEEPING.]
Oh, no, we've got a Code Irving! Strike team, deploy! Let's see what else I've got.
[GASPING.]
[THUDDING.]
Did you hear something? Nope.
Mission accomplished.
Hello, ladies! [GROWLS.]
The fox hops over the log, the rabbit crawls under the log Okay, got it! Now, to send [THUDDING.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
And now, to send my daughter to the movies! [TRIUMPHANT DRUMS PLAYING.]
No, see, it just doesn't work in this instance.
You know what, you guys just take the rest of the day off.
- You wanna go see a movie? - Yeah, sure.
How about Grievance 4? Hey, Vanessa, pumpkin pants, can you come in here for a second? Good news, sweetie.
I can send you to the movies after all! Really, Dad, it's no big deal.
Ducky Mo, Ducky Momo! Ducky Mo, Ducky Momo! I did it! And now that my Super Dad status is intact, it's time to take care of business! And by "business," I mean evil! It's time to set my sights on city [GROANS.]
- Hmm - Oh, now I get it.
Huh.
I didn't count on an oscillate function.
Somehow, I don't think this bodes well for my plan.
That one's one of my own creations.
I call it the enchillatke.
It was delicious.
Now, here we are.
Gladys, we have a runner.
[YAWNING.]
[GASPS.]
Hey, Ferb! You're back! Brilliant! See what I mean, Isabella? Yeah, it's how he doesn't say it.
Let's get to work.
This will be the biggest picnic ever! I'll get the tools.
All right, girls, Union Jack is back.
Operation Perfect Picnic is now Operation Ginormous, Nonromantic, Overblown Picnic.
Al flabahem abla flapabla.
It's all right, big guy.
You guys just do what you do.
Looks like we're gonna need a change of venue.
How about the park? What do you know, no more Perry the Platypus.
Transported to some random location somewhere.
Ow! Ahhh! Ow! [CHUCKLING.]
Thanks for introducing me to the ironic enjoyment of Ducky Momo, Candace.
Ironic, yeah! [CHUCKLING.]
So, your dad was really raised by wild ocelots? OMG, I wish that was the weirdest thing about my family.
Candace? Oh.
You know, amusement parks really aren't my thing, but knock yourself out, girl! Ducky Mo, Ducky Momo He's your very best friend Okay.
I said I'd give them space for a romantic picnic.
That is not a romantic picnic! That is bust-town, USA.
Here's where I'll make my final stand I'm gonna bust my brothers down in picnic land In picnic land It'll be a pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! A pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! A pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! A pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! I can bust them at the grill or the hot dog on the hill A pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! I can take 'em at the waffle tram with a side of double ham A pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! This is gonna be my finest hour 'Cause now I'm gonna bust the boys with picnic power It'll be a pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! A pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! A pic-a-nic-a-nic-a-nic bust! [ALL WHOOPING.]
A pic-a-nic-a-nic I am so gonna relish this bust! Ma! Honey, it'll have to wait.
I've got to go pick up Ferb from the dentist.
Ma! Ferb's here.
At the park.
Oh, well, he must've gotten out early.
I'm on my way.
Try our famous Tjinder family vindaloo.
No, no, try our Van Stomm family bitterballen.
- Try the vindaloo! - Bitterballen! - Vindaloo! - Bitterballen! [BOTH GRUNTING.]
Hey, you got your bitterballen in my vindaloo.
And you got your vindaloo all over my bitterballen.
I wonder if these two great tastes will taste great together? - Nah, we should kill this with fire.
- Agreed.
Ahh! Help! Ow! [SHRIEKS.]
What happened? Something just happened! I smell bitterballen! Where are we? Hey, not bad! I could totally go for a mid-afternoon nosh.
What are you doing? Curse you, Perry the - Over here! You gotta see this! - Oh, Candace, you're right.
- I am? - That is just adorable.
- What? - Wow, I don't know where it all went.
It's a good thing we brought our own basket, huh? [ISABELLA SQUEALING.]
[SLAPPING HERSELF.]
Yes.
Yes, it is.
Come on, Candace.
Let's go home.
But-but-but, a whole park! - Yep, and just the two of them.
- CANDACE: I get it.
But, ew.