PhoneShop (2009) s02e06 Episode Script
Revenge Of The Razz
Gentlemens Welcome to the Elite Selling Crew! Elite Selling Crew, man.
What, like, you're saying we're in? What? Who said you was in? I never said you was in.
Did I say he was in? Did I? At what point did I say you was in?! Well you said, like, welcome.
Yeah.
When I say welcome, it don't mean like, "WELCOME!" It's like when I say, "Fuck, you!" It don't mean that I want to fuck you-ugh! The Elite Selling Crew is a team of highly-skilled, highly-paid and highly-sexed individuals that operate covertly on behalf of the PhoneShop group.
I thought them boys was just like fictional, you know.
I haven't finished! Sorry.
The Elite Selling Crew is a team of highly-skilled, highly-paid, and highly-sexed individuals that work covertly on behalf of the PhoneShop group.
I had finished.
I heard about them guys.
I didn't think they exist.
They don't exist.
But they do exist.
They don't exist! OK.
They don't exist.
They don't exist! They don't exist.
They don't exist! They don't exist! They don't exist.
They don't exist? They don't exist! And they don't earn 97K a year.
And they don't have a 19% discount at Homebase, Ripley's Believe It Or Not, The Monkey and Ape Rescue Centre, Dorset, and all branches of Claire's, formally known as Claire's Accessories.
And do you know why Claire dropped the "Accessories"? No.
Why? Because I told her to! So let's keep it on the, keep it on the, keep it on the low! You're the man.
Yes, bruv, ssh-ptt! Bro, is, like, the man asleep? I don't know, bruv.
What's he doing? I dunno.
What are they still doing here? And boys? Remember Expect the unexpected.
Janine? Janine? Janine! Where's Ashley and Jerwayne?! I still don't know, Lance, and I'm still in the toilet.
Right, yes, carry on.
Janine! What?! We've run out of air freshener, put Mr Sheen in there.
Go easy.
What's the matter with you this morning? You haven't heard? What? Kingdom Of Phones is opening up.
How'd you know? Fucking Razz, took great delight in telling me, texted me at 3am! That and a picture of his balls with eyes drawn on 'em! Ooh! That's where they'll be, that's exactly where they'll be.
Ashley and Jerwayne have been head-hunted.
If they go, I'm fucked.
They wouldn't go anywhere.
You'd still have me and Christopher.
Yeah, I'm fucked.
So You're the hot new kid on the block? Well, I don't know about that.
Phones4U been in for you yet? No.
They will do.
Egg? No, no, thank you.
I've already had breakfast.
Sorry, how do you know about me? When the high street talks, I listen.
It's my job.
I'm a head-hunter.
Right.
Is Is there much call for head-hunters on the high street? Have you seen the big new Sports Direct superstore? Er, yeah.
Hmm.
The company I represent and no, I can't tell you who they are want you.
They want you badly.
Now, what do you think about that? I've, um I think Who is it? I can't tell you.
I can't tell you, because I'm a head-hunter.
And we don't tell you things like that.
We're deliberately mysterious.
It's the code of the head-hunter.
What's going on, Christopher? Nothing, nothing's going on.
Are you taking the piss? No.
Are you winding me up? No.
What's this? And this? I just thought a new image would be good for me.
The company handbook states you need grooming approval from your manager! Do you? I didn't know.
I want it gone by the end of the day.
I want boring old Chris back or you can fuck off as well! This shop is not big enough for the same grooming regime! Out! I'm this far from ringing your mum.
No, don't, don't tell my mum.
Think of it like this, yeah? Yeah, yeah.
A man's got certain demands on him, innit, certain pressures.
Demands, yeah.
So, like, certain people are going to react like a certain way.
Of course they are, bruv, of course they are! But, you know, it is safe, though.
Basically, it's safe, innit? Look Let me break it down for you.
All right.
If you, like, take man as like a man.
If I'm taking man as a man, yeah.
Take man as a man.
If I take man as a man Yeah.
Just take man as like a man, yeah? All right.
When you take man in and of himself, yeah? All right.
Take man in and of himself, yeah, like, basically man's all right, man, man's safe, innit? Is he safe? Bruv Yeah? Elite Selling Crew! Elite Selling Crew! Oh, bruv! Ooh! This is what we dreamt of when we was New Man, innit? Elite Selling Crew, bruv, in and of itself! In and of its fucking self, bruv! Right! Get me, he is kept! Bruv, really.
Like, seriously, what is this?! What's the man's hair saying, innit? I'm just trying something new.
Mixing it up a bit.
Going street.
Bruv, that ain't street! That's avenue! It's high street.
This is Next.
That's Pulsar.
New Man, listen, yeah, that's sweet.
D'you know what? I've had enough of New Man! I'm not New Man any more! I've been here long enough to earn my name back, which is Christopher, by the way! Or Chris.
With a C, man! What?! You want us to call you Semen? Not Yes, My Semen! Do you want us to spread that around for you? I would do, but it might be a bit of a mouthful.
Excuse me.
No, not semen, not in the, no, no The Big C! Not the big That's cancer.
No! Bruv, seriously shut your mouth! You'll always be New Man, innit? Oh, yeah? Yeah.
Oh, really? Well, maybe I'm going to be an ex-New Man.
What are you saying? I'm saying that maybe I'm not going to be around here for ever.
There.
I said it.
What? What? Burger King looking for junior managers? Oh! No, cos you can't reapply if you've already been rejected.
What, you got into Cancer Research to head up their belts and cassettes division? Oh, joke on joke! That's double decker satire right here, bruv.
Christopher, piss off and tidy the stockroom! I've already tidied it twice! Well, untidy it and tidy it again.
Go on! OK.
Ah, dat, dat, dat, dat, dat! All right? Yeah, mate, safe.
Yeah, yeah.
How's it going? Well, you know, man.
Yeah! Well, you know, man.
Yeah! It's good, good.
Just good, bruv, just feel good.
Yeah.
In and of itself, today's feeling Yeah, I feel blessed today.
A bit late this morning.
That We just had a bit of car trouble.
One of them ones.
Yeah, you get me? You get me, like When you buy a 30 grand car, yeah, for three grand, there's going to be trouble.
Pff I know.
D'you know what I mean? Know what I mean? Whoa! Jeez! It was hell, boy, yeah.
You haven't seen anyone, then? What? No, man.
In the sense of? Like, who? No, like, no-one.
Haven't bumped into anyone? No.
Right.
Right, right, yeah.
Carry on.
Yeah.
Freeze, motherfucker-r-r-rs! Aa-a-a-a-a-argh-ers! Boys! Expect the unexpected! Yeah? He's up there telling him, that's what he's doing.
Fuck it! I knew we shouldn't have trusted him.
He's stitching us up.
Why would he be telling him? He's telling him to fuck us the fuck up, that's what he's doing.
But you said, no! He's safe! You said, the man's got a lot of pressure on him right now.
You said, he's safe! Fuck! Is that how you see me? You said, he's safe, though.
Yeah, but, that ain't how I talk, bro! But you said it, though.
It's just a bit hurtful.
I can barely look at you right now.
You can barely look at what you think I am.
Do you want to tell me what the fuck is going on? Nothing.
Nothing's going on.
The company handbook clearly states that you need grooming approval from your line manager.
Oh, I just thought a new look might do me good.
You thought a new look might do you good? Yeah.
No shit, Sher-cock.
Just so long as that new look ain't my look.
Cos this shit be patent.
He's a dickhead, Janine.
Jung Wan ain't even my real name.
Paul Che ain't Chinese enough for him.
Excuse me.
You'd do the same, trust me.
I would, yeah.
He told Lance about the new Kingdom Of Phone stores.
Lance is shitting his tangas.
There is no Kingdom Of Phone store, Janine.
He's doing it to wind him up.
He did it to Croydon last week.
F fucking rotter! You get me? Oh f I'm on my way, sir.
Poke-eye.
Waste man.
Elite selling crew? What about Lance? Where's your loyalty? Janine, yeah, this is loyalty, yeah? Imagine if, like, pay-as-you-go had, like, an elite division.
Ridiculous.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Crazy fantasy aside.
It's like you, Janine, or someone at your level, one day getting to manage your own flagship Argos store.
Say something! And you trust Razz, do you? Yeah.
Yeah.
Janine, yeah, sometimes in life, a man got to spread his wings to do his t'ings, innit? Janine, Janine, I'm just flying at you.
Things ain't looking too good for you, Lance.
Things are fine.
We're doing well.
Seen the figures? We got a great team.
You may have a good team, but are they loyal? Yes, very loyal.
Da-da-da! Yeah, very loyal.
There's an ancient Chinese proverb.
When you don't have loyalty you don't have unity.
And a sales team that don't have unity is a sales team that is fucked.
Do you know what happens in the PhoneShop group when a sales team breaks down through lack of unity? Yeah.
Tell me.
Elite selling group.
That's right! The elite selling crew come in and take control of your store.
And now we you and your merry little team shall go, never to work in the retail sector ever again.
Sayonara! Yeah, well, that's not going to happen, is it? Lance expect the unexpected.
Unnnnnnnnh! Fuck you, Lance.
So, just out of interest, what was Razz saying, like? Everything all right? Yes, usual bullshit.
Figures this, figures that, health and safety.
Nothing to worry about.
Yeah, health and safety! Yeah, all that.
Am I living in a box? Am I living in a box? Am I living in a cardboard box? Am I living in a box? Living in a box living in a cardboard box Woke up this morning, closed in on all sides Nothing doing Well, well, well I couldn't go without seeing you now, could I? Yung Wan, meet Christofuck.
He used to work here.
That's right, Razz.
I used to work here.
I'm sorry, lovely to meet you, by the way.
Congratulations on making the right decision.
This is the start of a very bright future.
Yeah.
He's a friend of mine.
All right? Just got his kids back.
Oh wow.
Congratulations.
Thanks.
Bring it, bring it, bring it, bring it, bring it! Try to bruise me chop to the cock.
Aa-and fuck you! Yes, yes, fuck you! Fuck you! Bring it.
Don't bring it, fuck you.
Down, down, get down.
Get down.
That's it, that's it.
That's what happens when you don't bust target, yeah? Go and take a shower, go on, get out of here.
You smell like shit.
Use my flannel, but don't rinse it! Boys! Come give a man some loving! Come on, don't be shy, just a little bit of sweat.
Oh, my giddy, giddy gosh.
Hold time for the rewind, no hands, no trainers.
You been thinking about the, uh, elite selling crew? Yes.
I don't know, bro.
There is no elite selling crew! Joking, isn't it? I got you.
We got got.
We got got, bro.
Nunchuck! Oos! Are you looking forward to becoming part of the elite? Huh? To becoming part of a very special and privileged club? Figure of eight.
Figure of 16, helicopter.
Cross winds! You're good friends, aren't you? Good mates.
Yeah, man, good mates, yeah.
How long you known each other? Probably like Time.
Like, secondary school, back in the day, bruv.
Like, back in Opal Fruits days.
Opal Fruits days! Oh, my days.
That is a long time ago when Snickers was known as Opal Fruits.
I remember that.
Um Bongo, Um Bongo, they drink it in the Congo, the hippo took The apricot, a guava and a mango, we stuck it With the others and it danced a pretty tango The rhinos said, "I know, we'll call it Um Bongo!" Was a fruit drink before your day.
You're good friends, isn't it? Best mates, bruv, best mates.
You don't know.
Like brothers? Definitely.
Trust each other? Totally? Totally.
Totally, bruv.
Well, this is it you've arrived.
You're both about to step up to the elite selling crew.
Right? Right.
Right.
Wrong! Only one of you is going to step up.
What? What are you talking about? What the Razz Prince said was, expect the unexpected.
You two are going to fight each other to decide who makes it through to the elite selling crew.
F that, man.
I ain't doing that, bruv.
Go get the thing.
What? I smell your fear, but that's OK.
Cos Razz Prince is going to teach you how to conquer that fear.
How to grow yourselves a big, hairless pair of hairy balls.
Oos! What the fuck are you doing? Is that fucking real? Say hello to my little friend.
What's the matter, boys? You got the fear? There ain't no room for fear in the elite selling crew! You need to know how to handle that fear, how to use that fear as a sales energy.
Now, maybe, I ain't going to use this thing, because maybe a man like Razz Prince don't need to.
Then put it away, please.
Don't be afraid of the gun, be afraid of the man with the gun.
Now, let's get this on! Which one of you two has the bigger balls, huh? Oos! Aaaargh! I've been shot! I've been shot! Look at man's dick piece.
I've been shot in my balls! One of my balls has come off! You said it wasn't real, you said it was a Ross Kemp replica.
Me so sorry, Lazz.
It's a paintball gun.
He's a fucking dickhead.
Help! Lads, help me! Help! Boys! Help me! Razz Prince ain't got no balls left.
MemoryOnSmells Um, any conservatories, doors or, um, double gla Any double glazing? Doors? Conservatories?
What, like, you're saying we're in? What? Who said you was in? I never said you was in.
Did I say he was in? Did I? At what point did I say you was in?! Well you said, like, welcome.
Yeah.
When I say welcome, it don't mean like, "WELCOME!" It's like when I say, "Fuck, you!" It don't mean that I want to fuck you-ugh! The Elite Selling Crew is a team of highly-skilled, highly-paid and highly-sexed individuals that operate covertly on behalf of the PhoneShop group.
I thought them boys was just like fictional, you know.
I haven't finished! Sorry.
The Elite Selling Crew is a team of highly-skilled, highly-paid, and highly-sexed individuals that work covertly on behalf of the PhoneShop group.
I had finished.
I heard about them guys.
I didn't think they exist.
They don't exist.
But they do exist.
They don't exist! OK.
They don't exist.
They don't exist! They don't exist.
They don't exist! They don't exist! They don't exist.
They don't exist? They don't exist! And they don't earn 97K a year.
And they don't have a 19% discount at Homebase, Ripley's Believe It Or Not, The Monkey and Ape Rescue Centre, Dorset, and all branches of Claire's, formally known as Claire's Accessories.
And do you know why Claire dropped the "Accessories"? No.
Why? Because I told her to! So let's keep it on the, keep it on the, keep it on the low! You're the man.
Yes, bruv, ssh-ptt! Bro, is, like, the man asleep? I don't know, bruv.
What's he doing? I dunno.
What are they still doing here? And boys? Remember Expect the unexpected.
Janine? Janine? Janine! Where's Ashley and Jerwayne?! I still don't know, Lance, and I'm still in the toilet.
Right, yes, carry on.
Janine! What?! We've run out of air freshener, put Mr Sheen in there.
Go easy.
What's the matter with you this morning? You haven't heard? What? Kingdom Of Phones is opening up.
How'd you know? Fucking Razz, took great delight in telling me, texted me at 3am! That and a picture of his balls with eyes drawn on 'em! Ooh! That's where they'll be, that's exactly where they'll be.
Ashley and Jerwayne have been head-hunted.
If they go, I'm fucked.
They wouldn't go anywhere.
You'd still have me and Christopher.
Yeah, I'm fucked.
So You're the hot new kid on the block? Well, I don't know about that.
Phones4U been in for you yet? No.
They will do.
Egg? No, no, thank you.
I've already had breakfast.
Sorry, how do you know about me? When the high street talks, I listen.
It's my job.
I'm a head-hunter.
Right.
Is Is there much call for head-hunters on the high street? Have you seen the big new Sports Direct superstore? Er, yeah.
Hmm.
The company I represent and no, I can't tell you who they are want you.
They want you badly.
Now, what do you think about that? I've, um I think Who is it? I can't tell you.
I can't tell you, because I'm a head-hunter.
And we don't tell you things like that.
We're deliberately mysterious.
It's the code of the head-hunter.
What's going on, Christopher? Nothing, nothing's going on.
Are you taking the piss? No.
Are you winding me up? No.
What's this? And this? I just thought a new image would be good for me.
The company handbook states you need grooming approval from your manager! Do you? I didn't know.
I want it gone by the end of the day.
I want boring old Chris back or you can fuck off as well! This shop is not big enough for the same grooming regime! Out! I'm this far from ringing your mum.
No, don't, don't tell my mum.
Think of it like this, yeah? Yeah, yeah.
A man's got certain demands on him, innit, certain pressures.
Demands, yeah.
So, like, certain people are going to react like a certain way.
Of course they are, bruv, of course they are! But, you know, it is safe, though.
Basically, it's safe, innit? Look Let me break it down for you.
All right.
If you, like, take man as like a man.
If I'm taking man as a man, yeah.
Take man as a man.
If I take man as a man Yeah.
Just take man as like a man, yeah? All right.
When you take man in and of himself, yeah? All right.
Take man in and of himself, yeah, like, basically man's all right, man, man's safe, innit? Is he safe? Bruv Yeah? Elite Selling Crew! Elite Selling Crew! Oh, bruv! Ooh! This is what we dreamt of when we was New Man, innit? Elite Selling Crew, bruv, in and of itself! In and of its fucking self, bruv! Right! Get me, he is kept! Bruv, really.
Like, seriously, what is this?! What's the man's hair saying, innit? I'm just trying something new.
Mixing it up a bit.
Going street.
Bruv, that ain't street! That's avenue! It's high street.
This is Next.
That's Pulsar.
New Man, listen, yeah, that's sweet.
D'you know what? I've had enough of New Man! I'm not New Man any more! I've been here long enough to earn my name back, which is Christopher, by the way! Or Chris.
With a C, man! What?! You want us to call you Semen? Not Yes, My Semen! Do you want us to spread that around for you? I would do, but it might be a bit of a mouthful.
Excuse me.
No, not semen, not in the, no, no The Big C! Not the big That's cancer.
No! Bruv, seriously shut your mouth! You'll always be New Man, innit? Oh, yeah? Yeah.
Oh, really? Well, maybe I'm going to be an ex-New Man.
What are you saying? I'm saying that maybe I'm not going to be around here for ever.
There.
I said it.
What? What? Burger King looking for junior managers? Oh! No, cos you can't reapply if you've already been rejected.
What, you got into Cancer Research to head up their belts and cassettes division? Oh, joke on joke! That's double decker satire right here, bruv.
Christopher, piss off and tidy the stockroom! I've already tidied it twice! Well, untidy it and tidy it again.
Go on! OK.
Ah, dat, dat, dat, dat, dat! All right? Yeah, mate, safe.
Yeah, yeah.
How's it going? Well, you know, man.
Yeah! Well, you know, man.
Yeah! It's good, good.
Just good, bruv, just feel good.
Yeah.
In and of itself, today's feeling Yeah, I feel blessed today.
A bit late this morning.
That We just had a bit of car trouble.
One of them ones.
Yeah, you get me? You get me, like When you buy a 30 grand car, yeah, for three grand, there's going to be trouble.
Pff I know.
D'you know what I mean? Know what I mean? Whoa! Jeez! It was hell, boy, yeah.
You haven't seen anyone, then? What? No, man.
In the sense of? Like, who? No, like, no-one.
Haven't bumped into anyone? No.
Right.
Right, right, yeah.
Carry on.
Yeah.
Freeze, motherfucker-r-r-rs! Aa-a-a-a-a-argh-ers! Boys! Expect the unexpected! Yeah? He's up there telling him, that's what he's doing.
Fuck it! I knew we shouldn't have trusted him.
He's stitching us up.
Why would he be telling him? He's telling him to fuck us the fuck up, that's what he's doing.
But you said, no! He's safe! You said, the man's got a lot of pressure on him right now.
You said, he's safe! Fuck! Is that how you see me? You said, he's safe, though.
Yeah, but, that ain't how I talk, bro! But you said it, though.
It's just a bit hurtful.
I can barely look at you right now.
You can barely look at what you think I am.
Do you want to tell me what the fuck is going on? Nothing.
Nothing's going on.
The company handbook clearly states that you need grooming approval from your line manager.
Oh, I just thought a new look might do me good.
You thought a new look might do you good? Yeah.
No shit, Sher-cock.
Just so long as that new look ain't my look.
Cos this shit be patent.
He's a dickhead, Janine.
Jung Wan ain't even my real name.
Paul Che ain't Chinese enough for him.
Excuse me.
You'd do the same, trust me.
I would, yeah.
He told Lance about the new Kingdom Of Phone stores.
Lance is shitting his tangas.
There is no Kingdom Of Phone store, Janine.
He's doing it to wind him up.
He did it to Croydon last week.
F fucking rotter! You get me? Oh f I'm on my way, sir.
Poke-eye.
Waste man.
Elite selling crew? What about Lance? Where's your loyalty? Janine, yeah, this is loyalty, yeah? Imagine if, like, pay-as-you-go had, like, an elite division.
Ridiculous.
Excuse me, excuse me.
Crazy fantasy aside.
It's like you, Janine, or someone at your level, one day getting to manage your own flagship Argos store.
Say something! And you trust Razz, do you? Yeah.
Yeah.
Janine, yeah, sometimes in life, a man got to spread his wings to do his t'ings, innit? Janine, Janine, I'm just flying at you.
Things ain't looking too good for you, Lance.
Things are fine.
We're doing well.
Seen the figures? We got a great team.
You may have a good team, but are they loyal? Yes, very loyal.
Da-da-da! Yeah, very loyal.
There's an ancient Chinese proverb.
When you don't have loyalty you don't have unity.
And a sales team that don't have unity is a sales team that is fucked.
Do you know what happens in the PhoneShop group when a sales team breaks down through lack of unity? Yeah.
Tell me.
Elite selling group.
That's right! The elite selling crew come in and take control of your store.
And now we you and your merry little team shall go, never to work in the retail sector ever again.
Sayonara! Yeah, well, that's not going to happen, is it? Lance expect the unexpected.
Unnnnnnnnh! Fuck you, Lance.
So, just out of interest, what was Razz saying, like? Everything all right? Yes, usual bullshit.
Figures this, figures that, health and safety.
Nothing to worry about.
Yeah, health and safety! Yeah, all that.
Am I living in a box? Am I living in a box? Am I living in a cardboard box? Am I living in a box? Living in a box living in a cardboard box Woke up this morning, closed in on all sides Nothing doing Well, well, well I couldn't go without seeing you now, could I? Yung Wan, meet Christofuck.
He used to work here.
That's right, Razz.
I used to work here.
I'm sorry, lovely to meet you, by the way.
Congratulations on making the right decision.
This is the start of a very bright future.
Yeah.
He's a friend of mine.
All right? Just got his kids back.
Oh wow.
Congratulations.
Thanks.
Bring it, bring it, bring it, bring it, bring it! Try to bruise me chop to the cock.
Aa-and fuck you! Yes, yes, fuck you! Fuck you! Bring it.
Don't bring it, fuck you.
Down, down, get down.
Get down.
That's it, that's it.
That's what happens when you don't bust target, yeah? Go and take a shower, go on, get out of here.
You smell like shit.
Use my flannel, but don't rinse it! Boys! Come give a man some loving! Come on, don't be shy, just a little bit of sweat.
Oh, my giddy, giddy gosh.
Hold time for the rewind, no hands, no trainers.
You been thinking about the, uh, elite selling crew? Yes.
I don't know, bro.
There is no elite selling crew! Joking, isn't it? I got you.
We got got.
We got got, bro.
Nunchuck! Oos! Are you looking forward to becoming part of the elite? Huh? To becoming part of a very special and privileged club? Figure of eight.
Figure of 16, helicopter.
Cross winds! You're good friends, aren't you? Good mates.
Yeah, man, good mates, yeah.
How long you known each other? Probably like Time.
Like, secondary school, back in the day, bruv.
Like, back in Opal Fruits days.
Opal Fruits days! Oh, my days.
That is a long time ago when Snickers was known as Opal Fruits.
I remember that.
Um Bongo, Um Bongo, they drink it in the Congo, the hippo took The apricot, a guava and a mango, we stuck it With the others and it danced a pretty tango The rhinos said, "I know, we'll call it Um Bongo!" Was a fruit drink before your day.
You're good friends, isn't it? Best mates, bruv, best mates.
You don't know.
Like brothers? Definitely.
Trust each other? Totally? Totally.
Totally, bruv.
Well, this is it you've arrived.
You're both about to step up to the elite selling crew.
Right? Right.
Right.
Wrong! Only one of you is going to step up.
What? What are you talking about? What the Razz Prince said was, expect the unexpected.
You two are going to fight each other to decide who makes it through to the elite selling crew.
F that, man.
I ain't doing that, bruv.
Go get the thing.
What? I smell your fear, but that's OK.
Cos Razz Prince is going to teach you how to conquer that fear.
How to grow yourselves a big, hairless pair of hairy balls.
Oos! What the fuck are you doing? Is that fucking real? Say hello to my little friend.
What's the matter, boys? You got the fear? There ain't no room for fear in the elite selling crew! You need to know how to handle that fear, how to use that fear as a sales energy.
Now, maybe, I ain't going to use this thing, because maybe a man like Razz Prince don't need to.
Then put it away, please.
Don't be afraid of the gun, be afraid of the man with the gun.
Now, let's get this on! Which one of you two has the bigger balls, huh? Oos! Aaaargh! I've been shot! I've been shot! Look at man's dick piece.
I've been shot in my balls! One of my balls has come off! You said it wasn't real, you said it was a Ross Kemp replica.
Me so sorry, Lazz.
It's a paintball gun.
He's a fucking dickhead.
Help! Lads, help me! Help! Boys! Help me! Razz Prince ain't got no balls left.
MemoryOnSmells Um, any conservatories, doors or, um, double gla Any double glazing? Doors? Conservatories?