Pie In The Sky (1994) s04e04 Episode Script

New Leaf

1 S04xE04 "New Leaf" Oct 6, 1996 Tarragon.
I´m reaching the end of my tether with you lot.
We could have a lovely little pond right here, you know.
Margaret wants to.
So now you know.
There´s your breakfast.
Prince Charles not the only one, then.
Vicky.
I´m no gardener, but surely you´ve given that one too much.
You left this behind, H.
, when you went off in such a hurry.
Hold it up, then.
Show a bit of pride.
You´ve filled out a bit.
It´s all this country living.
My champion marijuana grower.
Gone all straight and narrow.
Sir.
Sir, I´d like to ask you why you went over my head yesterday on the safe-house job.
Would you, DCI Harding? Sir, you´ve always delegated safe houses to me in the past.
And you´ve always whinged about it.
Morning.
Ta.
I hope this hasn´t blown the cover on the purslane.
Once they hear we´ve got this going, everyone´ll have it on the menu.
So, who was that, then? Henderson? I I used to work for her.
Been winning prizes? Better get on if you want these on the menu Saturday.
I´m sorry if I´ve given the impression that I dislike safe-house work, sir, and I´d like you to reconsider.
I´ve allocated another officer to the job, Harding, and that´s the end of the matter.
So, where exactly is this safe house, sir? Wouldn´t be a safe house if everybody knew where it was, Crabbe.
Morning, Chef.
Morning, Gary.
I´m glad you´re early.
Listen, I´m going to be doing a bit of outside catering for the next couple of days, so you´ll have to manage without me for a bit.
I´ll be going back and forth.
Chief constable´s garden party, is it, Chef? Well, something like that, yes.
Now, you´re quite clear about these starters, aren´t you? Henderson will be coming shortly with the asparagus and don´t forget to tell him we need more cucumber for the gazpacho.
Right.
Hey, how´s that purslane coming on? Oh, it´s superb.
You should see it in the sunshine.
I´ve got a bit here.
I´ll show you.
On the menu for Saturday? Oh, yes.
I´ve nearly perfected the herb dressing.
I thought I had it this morning.
I got up at 6:00.
No, no, it just needs a rumor of tarragon and Right.
Well, I´m ready.
Recipe book? The idea is that country air will do her good.
They´ve had her in some poky London terrace for the last three months.
She´s got cabin fever being cooped up so long.
Should stick to the bridle paths.
Bridle paths are probably full of 4x4s, sir.
May I ask what the name of this witness actually is? Sasha Wilkes.
- Sasha.
- Wilkes.
Wife to Colin Wilkes.
Ah.
Yes.
Wouldn´t a nuclear bunker be more appropriate, then? She´s all we´ve got.
Wilkes has always covered his tracks.
The problem is, the woman is losing her zeal to testify.
The whole case collapses without her.
Millions of pounds´ worth of police work.
Well, surely a chat with the divisional accountant would get her onside in no time.
Has Wilkes made any specific threats against his wife, sir? He wants her dead, Crabbe.
DCI on a health kick, sir? I´m sorry? Mr.
Harding, sir.
All this fruit and veg.
I don´t think DCI Harding is expected, Constable.
Brownie points to you, is it, sir? What brownie points were you thinking of? High-profile job, sir.
Promotion material.
Look, I´m gonna be cooking for our esteemed guest in a little while.
Would you care to have some yourself? No, thank you.
Sir.
She´s here.
Mrs.
Wilkes.
Sign there, would you, sir? Safe delivery of one sulky old cow.
DS Kenna, sir.
Nice to be out of the car.
You´re a real son of the soil, aren´t you? Don´t keep doing that! Are you sure you should be talking to me like that, H.
? I´m not interested in working for you.
You´d rather work for that nice Mr.
Crabbe, but what would that nice Mr.
Crabbe say if he knew you used to grow dope, used to grow prize-winning marijuana plants? Mr.
Crabbe the policeman.
It´s all in the past.
It was all in the past.
Panic bars in every room.
Silent operation.
Wired up to the local nick and to Scotland Yard.
Just the three of us, is it, then, sir? Everything´s on a need-to-know basis with this operation, Crabbe.
Who´s in operational control, sir? Is it DCI Harding or the inspector here? You will be aware that Mrs.
Wilkes is not in the most positive frame of mind right at the moment.
DI Crabbe has been brought in to try and change that.
Sasha Wilkes won´t last five minutes against that bulldozer of a Q.
C.
next week if she´s down in the mouth.
Rather you than me.
I get the impression DCI Harding was quite keen to take this job, sir.
Can´t think why.
He´s never been keen before.
Still.
You´re the obvious man for the job, Crabbe.
We´ve got a woman here whose morale is low, she´s turning against her protectors, not eating properly.
Fill her full of that food you´re always cooking at that caf of yours.
Get her up to speed.
Simple as that, is it, sir? Give you something to do while the wife´s away.
It´s open.
DI Crabbe, Mrs.
Wilkes.
Just thought you might like something to eat.
Cordon bleu cooking for the stroppy witness.
Whose idea was that? Not mine.
Um, the tray? Well, that´s an omelet, of course, and that is a purslane salad.
Now, purslane was first introduced to this country in the 16th century from the East Indies.
But lately it´s fallen out of favor.
Until now.
Until now.
Pass me that, will you? Oh.
Back into the dustbin of history.
DS Kenna still here? He is, yes.
He leaves a trail of dandruff wherever he goes, that man.
Like Hansel and Gretel.
Just thought I´d pop outside, breath of fresh air.
Been upstairs, then? I´ll let you have the location this time tomorrow.
Mr.
Wilkes would sooner you just let us have it now.
He´s very keen to make contact with his wife.
I´m sure he is.
Maybe we should just have a little look for ourselves.
I´d rather you just stayed out of sight.
Think we stick out in the Home Counties, then? If I let you have the safe house now, it´ll be bloody obvious who told you about it.
Mr.
Wilkes knows that.
This time tomorrow, there´ll be someone else sitting in the spotlight.
Some of the finest herbs I´ve ever seen.
Just growing here, out the back.
Smell that rosemary.
What do you say to a herb pastry with the steak and kidney? - Using that stuff? - Of course.
What, straight out of the ground? That´s the money there.
That money is for the job.
It´s not to be touched until then.
I know what you people are like with money.
This is for you.
So there´s no temptation.
No cock-up.
Clear about everything? I need a good clear shot.
Do your talking right out in the open.
Like you said.
You can take the cover off the seat now.
I know what you people are like with hygiene.
No pastry for me, thanks.
Pie is not a pie without pastry.
Thank you.
There you are.
Help yourselves to veg.
Sit wherever you like.
I´ll sit in the TV room.
You can cook, then.
So I´m told.
You know, I eat this pie, and I suddenly realize all those coppers and lawyers I´ve dealt with, they aren´t corrupt and incompetent after all.
But you volunteered to give evidence.
Nobody forced you.
I was naive.
A lot of people would call that courage.
A lot of people don´t know their ass from their elbow.
Why this change of heart? I should have read the small print before I opened my mouth.
I grew up on institution food.
We were brought up in care, me and my brother, council places.
We had one foster placement.
My brother, Mickey, he went missing on the day we were due to go, so they took me over on my own instead.
It was just me and Mrs.
Bailey, the foster woman.
First thing she did, she cooked me fish fingers, chips, and beans.
It was the best meal I´d ever eaten.
Fish fingers, chips, and beans.
The next day, Mickey turned up, caused the usual chaos, broke a big glass cabinet, and got us sent back.
Did you ever see her again, Mrs.
Bailey? Maybe you could cook something like that.
Fish fingers, chips, and beans a la Crabbe.
Last time I looked, there was plenty of fish fingers in the supermarket.
Yeah, but I can´t go to the supermarket, can I? I can´t go anywhere.
I have to spend my life stuck in this room with those morons.
It was supposed to be my husband going to prison, not me.
Do you think he will? What? That is why we´re all here, isn´t it? To make sure Colin Wilkes goes to prison.
It´ll be two weeks on an African safari by the time they´ve finished.
And there won´t be any safe house for me then, will there? I thought you couldn´t wait to get shot of us.
Not half as much as he wants shot of me.
Oh! Spillage on table 4.
Can I have a cloth, please, Henderson? Ugh! The idea is to get this stuff here over here via here.
All right? I know that.
Well, get on with it, then.
At the risk of you throwing this into the bin What is that thing? The old granary, you know, where they kept the grain.
That´s what you call a safe house.
Mm.
Built to keep the elements out.
And the vermin.
He killed my brother, you know.
He´s not charged with that.
No.
Mickey did a bit of dealing for Colin.
He used to skim a bit off the top for himself.
They didn´t let me in on that little secret.
And then Colin heard about Mickey grassing.
Your brother was informing on Colin Wilkes? Some deal the drug squad pushed him into.
And Colin found out? Everyone thought Mickey died of an overdose.
He didn´t.
There was an autopsy.
The drugs, the ones Colin had given him.
They were poisoned.
They had the stuff.
They even had a videotape of the transaction, until one of your colleagues mislaid it.
Friends in all the right places, Colin.
Are you suggesting a police officer? Do you know what he´s up for? VAT fraud.
Not murder.
VAT fraud.
Well, it´s no consolation, but Al Capone went to jail for not paying taxes, and everybody knew what he´d done.
Kevin Costner.
I´m sorry? "The Untouchables.
" And Sean Connery.
They got Al Capone.
I get you three.
Bowls, bowls.
Gazpacho bowls.
Now please.
All right, all right.
Well, I shouldn´t have to be chasing round the kitchen after them.
Is everything all right? Plongeur´s gone dreamy on me.
Here we are, here we are.
How´s it all going, then? Oh, good, good.
Plenty in.
Coping.
Nicola´s keeping me on my toes.
Mind not on the job, Henderson? - Night, Chef.
- Night, Gary.
And thanks for holding the fort.
Nah, I enjoyed it.
How´s that dressing for the purslane coming? Ooh, I shall have it tomorrow.
Pedigree tarragon.
Crabbe, what would you think if What do you think of me? I think you´re a first-class grower and a half-hearted washer-up.
Yeah, but what if you heard things about me? From someone else? Things you didn´t know? Henderson, it has been a long and trying day.
Why don´t you just say what´s bothering you? Henderson.
That woman Vicky.
I don´t know her second name.
I said how I used to work for her.
I mean, in Holland, it´s legal anyway.
What is? You been going round putting old ladies to sleep? I never did that.
What´s she been saying? She hasn´t been saying anything.
Neither have you so far.
I used to grow grass for her.
Marijuana, I mean.
As soon as I found out it was illegal, I stopped.
I never smoked any of it.
I never inhaled.
Mm-hmm.
Turned out I had a bit of a knack for growing it.
That´s when I found that out.
Are you bothered? Not still growing it, are you? No way.
See, there was a bit of trouble, and after that, I sort of made my exit.
I haven´t sowed the seed since.
In that case, no, I´m not bothered.
You´ll tell her you don´t care about what´s in the past? Tell her? What do you mean, tell her? She wants to meet you.
Well, I don´t want to meet her.
Better do like she says.
When am I supposed to see her? 2:30.
At my place.
All right.
Thanks, Crabbe.
Henderson, what is your first name? Leon.
L-E-O-N? Yep.
Leon Henderson.
Not a lot.
Juvenile shoplifting.
Traveling without a ticket.
Drug arrest in 1985.
Not charged.
Nothing since.
There´s the name I´m interested in.
Vicky Reynolds.
Check on that one, too? What are those letters at the bottom of the screen for? Last person to access the file and the date they did it.
That was done two days ago.
Oh.
And DPH is DCI Harding, sir.
Right.
Vicky Reynolds? Please, yes.
Bit more to get your teeth into.
Do those initials just stay on the screen? No, sir.
DCI Harding must have accessed this file, too.
Same time as he accessed the other one.
Right.
Sir.
I ought to teach you this signature.
Perhaps not.
Crabbe.
Managed to cheer her up at all? Well, on a scale of 1 to 10, she may have shifted from 0 to 0.
5, sir.
Very good.
DCI Harding, sir.
Yes, Crabbe? Did he have a promotion hanging on this job? Harding could squeeze promotion out of a public-house punch-up.
It´s just that the officers at the safe house had been told he was heading up the team there.
I know he´s keen to do it because the Wilkes case is high profile.
The last thing we want a safe house to be is high profile, Crabbe.
If I´m going to be treading on anyone´s toes, I´d prefer to be kept informed, that´s all.
I´ll bear that in mind.
Thank you, sir.
Gotcha.
Have you ever actually fired that thing? At anyone, I mean.
Good.
You can go in now.
I´ll look after her.
Must be the safest place in England to smoke a joint.
Well, don´t look so disapproving.
I´m a policeman.
It´s my job to be disapproving.
Where I grew up, everyone used to smoke dope.
When I met Colin, he thought it was outrageous.
To him, drugs were drugs.
Cannabis was the same as heroin.
Made me promise to give it up.
Then the vow no longer holds? Never did.
We had a pact.
I gave up the occasional joint, and he promised to stop selling drugs.
Was it your brother that told you that Colin was dealing the hard stuff? Yeah.
And he told me it was Colin he was getting his stuff off.
Sasha, look.
There are lots of people like your Mickey, you know.
Vulnerable people.
You´ll really be doing something for them if you gave your evidence.
It´ll be the last thing I do, though, won´t it? Here, do you want some? No, thanks.
Look, I won´t tell Hansel and Gretel.
No, thank you.
Won´t do you any harm.
That´s debatable.
Just a puff.
You smoke this, and I´ll stand up in court and do the nation a favor.
Get stoned and see justice done.
All right, I´ll make it easy for you.
You like your food.
I´ll do you some very nice dope cakes.
I can make you a lovely hash brownie.
Sasha.
What happened to "Mrs.
Wilkes"? I do beg your pardon.
Mrs.
Wilkes.
Sasha.
Sasha.
Look, just smoke it.
I don´t want to.
Well, what about the other thing? What other thing? The fish fingers.
You put your back out, I´ll shoot you.
Vicky Anne Reynolds.
That´s me.
I´ve got a printout here from the police computer about your record.
Anything you´d like to add? You know, like blackmail, for instance? I´m not here for blackmail.
Well, I´m glad to hear that, because if it´s anything to do with Henderson´s history of illicit horticulture, I already know about that, and frankly, my dear, I don´t give a hoot.
I´m here about you, not him.
Why didn´t you say so in the first place instead of frightening him out of his wits? Old score to settle.
Couldn´t resist it.
I´m just here as a messenger girl.
Just here to smile and look pretty.
At whose suggestion? Derek Harding´s? I´m a free spirit, acting on impulse.
Because DCI Harding was reading your rather impressive C.
V.
just in the last couple of days.
Perhaps I could have a look at it while you have a look at this.
I think your left side´s your best, don´t you? What´s this about? Thank you.
That´s what he said you´d do.
Who? Harding? I hope we made a pretty picture.
Where are the bread crumbs? I used them all last night.
I wish you´d said so.
I didn´t know you were looking for them.
What are you making? You´ve heard of the condemned man´s last meal.
Well, I´m making my own.
Fish fingers, chips, and beans.
You can buy baked beans in a tin.
Constable, this kitchen really isn´t as big as you would think it might be, and I´d hate for something extremely hot to get spilt on you.
Do you know how to grate bread to make bread crumbs? Is it difficult? No.
Not a man without vices, then? Claret from Bordeaux.
Ever been to Bordeaux, Sasha? Well, when I get fired, which should be just a couple of hours now, I´m going to buy a ticket there and I´m going to pull up a chair at one of those pavement cafés and I´m going to slurp this stuff until it´s coming out of my ears.
Why are you getting fired? Because I was allocated this job over a man who thought it would bring him promotion, and in order to discredit me he´s had photographs taken which appear to show me taking a bribe.
Were you taking a bribe? No! Well, you wouldn´t be the first.
Look This policeman that lost the evidence against your husband, do you know his name? Harley? No, Hardy.
Harding? Yeah, Harding.
Is that the television? - Bouncy castle.
- Hey? Harlequin 15-footer.
Drawbridge, flags, rain cover.
No, no.
Stop, wait, wait.
Nobody has ordered anything.
Moving out.
Probably a surprise.
Oi, get it back in.
It´s not for here.
It´s for here.
My mistake.
Stay there.
Could you hop in while we lift? So stupid.
Panic bar.
Granary now.
Now! 10 minutes.
Harding´s set you up, hasn´t he, and told Colin where to find me.
We´ll just wait for a couple of minutes and then go and see what´s happening.
It´s my husband.
I can smell him.
No.
It´s just the heavy mob from the regional crime squad a bit twitchy about our unexpected visitor.
He´ll kill me.
Listen, any moment now, they´re going to be people knocking on that door telling me telling me I´ve made a complete fool of myself.
Sasha! She´s here.
Hold it! Sasha? Are you there? Things need sorting out.
You´re in there, aren´t you? I know when I´m near you, girl.
I´m here.
What about it? Come on out.
Let´s talk.
There´s things I´m going to change, Sasha.
It´s too late, Colin.
It´s never too late.
Didn´t you always say that? That was before Mickey.
Can´t talk to you through a door, Sasha, and we need to talk, me and you.
Mickey.
Everything.
Who´s with you? Just Stuart.
I´ve missed you, Sasha.
You´re my life.
You know that.
Maybe I should just talk to him.
No.
Maybe I owe him that.
I just No.
Don´t listen to people, Sasha.
She´s not coming out, Mr.
Wilkes.
That was your last chance.
You threw it away.
Gave you too many chances, Sasha.
Gave you too many chances.
Get something to shove in there.
We better get going.
Get something to shove in there! Leave it.
Get going.
They´re here.
Armed police.
Throw down your weapon.
We´ve picked up that Vicky Reynolds woman.
You´re off the hook there.
Oh, I´m off the hook, am I? Oh, I´m not saying there won´t be an inquiry into all this.
I´ll back you up.
You did the best you could.
I don´t suppose you had any suspicions about Harding and Colin Wilkes? Have my suspicions about everybody, Crabbe.
It would have been so useful to know if there was any possible threat to Mrs.
Wilkes´ safety.
No threat.
Harding was taken off the job because you were better suited.
Oh, not because putting me in his place would force him to show his hand.
Derek Harding mixed up with the Wilkes mob, eh? Well, well.
These herbs.
It´s enough to make a man weep.
Those pictures would have made it look as though you´d sold the location of this place to one of Colin´s people.
I think so, yes.
I´m just sorry it took me so long to twig it was your life that was at stake and not my job.
Do you think it was Harding who told Colin about Mickey informing on him? I don´t know.
How does it compare with the great Mrs.
Bailey? Very well.
Thanks for looking after me.
Maybe next time you could try the omelet.
You can buy baked beans in tins, you know.
So I´m told.
Ta-da! Look at that.
Look at those leaves.
Look at their color.
You´ve got something there.
You´ve done a really good job there, Henderson.
I´m a very sought-after grower, don´t you know? That Vicky, she got you into a bit of hot water, did she, Crabbe? Well, she held the saucepan, but other people lit the fire.
You got it all sorted out, eh? I did.
I´m sorry about all that.
It´s not your fault.
I don´t suppose anything came out about Traveling without a ticket in 1981? No, nothing.
It´s a triumph.
Crabbe.
Just been over to make sure Mrs.
Wilkes is settled into the new safe house.
And is she, sir? Yeah.
She sent you these cakes.
Said to say "In case you changed your mind.
" No sign of Harding, of course.
Done a complete bunk.
I´m off to see the chief constable right now.
Keep him abreast of developments.
We´ve come out of this very well.
Got shot of a bad apple and Wilkes´ attack on the safe house firms up the case against him very nicely.
I suppose it does so, yeah.
Chief constable´s putting my name forward for the liaison visit to Barbados.
So, all´s well that ends well, then.
Barbados, here I come.
Uh, sir.
Give my regards to the chief constable, would you?
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