Pie In The Sky (1994) s05e03 Episode Script

Pork Pies

1 S05xE03 "Hard Cheese" Jul 13, 1997 [INDISTINCT SHOUTING] We know who you are! MI5.
MI6.
Special Branch.
Come on, the lot of you! We won´t be put off! We´ve got right on our side.
Killing calves for sausages is wrong! - Now clear off! - [CHEERING] [INDISTINCT SHOUTING] Go! Go on! GARY: What´s all this? - HENDERSON: Gary! - [TELEPHONE RINGS] Gary! Don´t you read that! Gary! Gary! That´s mine! That´s mine! Gary! Shush! Pie in the Sky.
Crabbe.
It´s Fisher.
- Yes, sir.
- I´ve a job for you.
Two summer puddings One no cream A fruit salad, and a crème brûlée, please.
Um, a couple of hours? I´ll expect you in 20 minutes.
- Oh, but - [DIAL TONE] Can I have my card back now? Oh, I beg your pardon.
Oh! It´s from a girlfriend.
Henderson! A girlfriend! It is allowed.
So who is she, then? Mind your own biz.
Someone from Dublin.
It said on the card.
Can I leave you without a war breaking out? Yes, Chef.
Henderson! A girlfriend in Dublin.
Well, you are a dark horse.
- Hello, Henry.
- Hello, Anthony.
Got any room to squeeze me in? Well, ask Margaret.
I´m sure she´ll sort you out.
- Great.
- Okay.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
- Margaret.
- Oh, Anthony! We´re full.
Oh, it´s my fault.
I should have rung.
[SIGHS] Do you mind sharing? No, of course not.
I´ll ask that lady lunching alone.
She´s a friend of mine.
So where have you been this time? Côte d´Azur.
Nice.
Oh, I´ve always wanted to visit the south of France.
- My sister´s au pairing there.
- Would you like a ticket? I could get it for you at a rock-bottom price.
I can´t afford a holiday just now.
- But thank you anyway.
- Mm.
So sorry.
Silly of me.
I should have reserved.
Don´t worry.
- Julia Sutton.
- Anthony Neale.
Margaret tells me you´re a pilot.
Well, freelance.
I´m a glorified bus driver, really.
Um, fizzy water, I think.
I was going to order some wine.
Won´t you join me? Yes, please.
Thank you.
Will you excuse me just a minute? Of course.
- He´s nice.
- See that couple he´s with? Mm-hmm.
He´s got them tickets to visit their son in Sweden.
No.
How kind.
What can I say? Look! Thank you.
It´s so kind.
It´s nothing.
I hope you have a lovely time.
Now, look, you must allow me to pay for this.
Why? It´s a pilot´s perk.
Oh, but your expenses, at any rate then.
No, I won´t hear of it.
Just enjoy yourselves.
They´re thrilled.
I expect he has lots of friends.
No one special.
[TELEPHONE RINGS] Pie in the Sky.
Leon? Hello? I think it´s the girlfriend.
Of course I haven´t gone off of you.
Of course I haven´t gone off you, darling.
Sausages.
I thought that would be right up your alley sausages.
I make my own.
Of course you do.
But you´ve heard of the Trubbs Thunderbolt? No.
Can´t say I have.
Veal and pork.
British through and through.
It´s all the rage in those supermarket magazines.
Well, the Thunderbolt offers your little squad a market opportunity.
The factory´s under threat from animal-rights types.
"Veal is murder.
" All that malarkey.
Where do we come in, sir? Special Branch have been watching the protesters, but they´ve allocated all the resources they can.
The factory owner has expressed an interest in hiring the Public Duties Squad.
You.
Uh, what do we actually do? Keep tabs on the protesters.
It should be simple enough.
Yes, but what´s the crime? Crime? Well, if you actually catch someone burning the place down, nick them.
Other than that, it´s a watching brief.
A watching brief? Don´t fuss.
It´s just a lot of mad women in wellies living under plastic bags.
Take Guthrie and Morton.
It´ll keep the Public Duties Squad in paid work for weeks.
I didn´t invent the system, Crabbe.
[LAUGHTER] GARY: What´s the matter? You know Anthony, the pilot? He´s offered me a cheap airfare to Nice so I could go and see my sister.
GARY: Well, great.
Go.
I can´t afford it.
How much is it? Doesn´t matter how much.
I just can´t afford it.
- [SIGHS] - He offered you a cheap ticket? - Can I give you a lift home? - I don´t live far.
Oh, go on, please.
After all, you wouldn´t let me pay for lunch.
[LAUGHS] I haven´t been in a sports car for years.
It´s very you.
Yes.
You may drive me home.
Good.
This is a quality operation.
Top of the market.
We supply speciality shops, top butchers, delicatessens.
You´ll find our sausages in Knightsbridge and Jermyn Street.
In fact, anywhere people care about what they eat.
The very best restaurants use our products.
Our sausages are well over 95% meat and surpass standards for sausage manufacture anywhere in the world.
Choose a sausage.
Any sausage.
MORTON: Why? I can trace it back through its batch number to the farm, from the farmer to the cow.
I can give you the name of the cow.
All right.
That one.
Daisy.
[LAUGHS] Well, they´re all called Daisy, aren´t they? Every job´s got its joke.
[LAUGHS] - What´s yours? - Guarding sausage factories.
Um, Mr.
Trubb, why do you think these protesters are so against you? I mean, this can´t be the only sausage factory in England.
We´re the veal experts, aren´t we? Veal and pork mixed sausages.
Nobody else makes them in the quantity that I make the Trubb Thunderbolt.
Nobody else uses as much meat doing it.
Blood and flesh, you see? The real stuff.
That´s why they hate us.
And I suppose it´s because I´m the easiest to put out of business.
I´m the little man, see? But I´m the worm who turned.
The little man who roared back.
No longer a mouse.
I will not be bullied out of business by a load of long-haired lunatic vegetarians, no matter what it costs me.
You see that? Prime veal and pork carcasses.
That is what the Trubb Thunderbolt is made of.
The very best of British.
Now, we never let our visitors go away without a sample to take home with them.
The Thunderbolt.
The best banger in Britain.
Oh, thank you, sir, but not when we´re on duty.
You know, that cold room was freezing.
Isn´t that the point? overcome someday We´re going to need an observation van in place by this evening, Morton.
- Can I leave that to you? - Sir.
You take the first watch.
Guthrie, you take the second.
I´ll cover the meal breaks.
Sausage sandwiches? You´ll be lucky.
ANTHONY: So the air traffic controller said, "You´ll have to circle.
You´re not due for another 24 hours.
" And I said, "Well, I can´t stay up here all night.
" [LAUGHS] To which he replied, "Yes, well, keep it up as long as you can.
" [LAUGHS] What a wonderful job.
Oh, it does sound fun.
Well, fun is only about 1% of the job.
Better than sitting here twiddling your thumbs.
Well, I´m sure you get invited out all the time.
You´re very attractive.
Thank you.
I wasn´t fishing for compliments.
Dinner invitations are rare.
Married women see rich widows as a bit of a threat.
And what about a career? It´s too late.
It´s never too late.
What did you do before you were married? All sorts of things.
Like? Well, when I was a student, I sang with a jazz band.
No! - It wasn´t much.
- Still.
[INTRO TO "THAT OLD BLACK MAGIC" PLAYS] Black magic has me in its spell That old black magic that you weave so well Those icy fingers running down my spine That same old witchcraft when your eyes meet mine [VOCALIZING] feel inside Then that elevator starts to ride Every time Lips meet mine Look.
Here´s Margaret.
No.
Don´t.
Whatever she wants, it´s not as important as this.
- Good afternoon, sir.
- Good afternoon.
Do you think I could have three packets of those Trubb Thunderbolts? You certainly can.
Are you sure? Well, I´m not going anywhere.
Well, I´ll pay you back 10 a week.
Well, don´t leave yourself short.
Oh, thanks, Gary.
You are full of surprises.
I´ll go and give Anthony a call.
Do you, uh Do you think he´d sell me one? - Who? - Well, the pilot.
Well, how would I know? Cor.
That smells nice.
Yeah? Well, go and sit down.
Mmm.
[KNOCK ON DOOR] I´ll get it.
Where are they from? Butcher in the high street.
His own? Well, they´re made locally.
Julia.
I forgot my credit card.
I know.
I´ve got it here.
How are you? Have you got a minute? That good? Follow me.
We´re going to feed the chickens.
- What about these sausages? - No.
They´re vegetarian.
- You want one? - No, thanks.
They´re quite good.
You gonna stop making your own? - What are they? - SALLY: Do you make your own? Veal and pork.
N-No Yes.
Now, thing is, what can you taste in these sausages? - It´s veal and pork, isn´t it? - Yes, I know that.
But what can you actually taste in them? Thyme.
Thyme.
Yes.
That´s good.
Monosodium glutamate mostly.
It´s on the packet.
Yes, yes.
They put that in to increase your appetite.
But what can you actually taste? - Salt.
- Salt, yes.
And there´s something else.
Something [SMACKS LIPS] odd.
- Any more for any more? - I´ll take them home.
No, you won´t.
I know who´ll eat these.
You came to the house this afternoon.
Well, I didn´t knock.
I didn´t think you were in.
- Oh, I was in, all right.
- [LAUGHS] Well, you look like you´ve been hit by a thunderbolt.
I only met him at lunchtime.
Sometimes it´s instantaneous.
Sometimes.
Ah.
Not sure? [SIGHS] Well It´s very flattering when someone pays you so much attention.
Too right, it is.
Especially when it´s a dishy young man.
Especially.
[LAUGHTER] Oh, Margaret.
I don´t know.
I really should know better at my age.
What rubbish! Do you really think it´s possible to fall in love with someone the minute you see them? The second.
How long did it take before you were sure about Henry? Who says I am? [LAUGHS] Sal, um, can I come with you when you go to see that pilot bloke? Oh, if it´s the only way to shut you up.
I was only asking.
You off? Yes, I won´t be long.
Do you believe in thunderbolts? Oh, yes.
I´ve got a basketful.
No, I´m talking about love.
Falling in love at first sight.
Of course.
We did, didn´t we? Didn´t we? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
Is this about Julia? Yes.
And that nice pilot, Anthony.
Oh.
Good for them.
But remember what my mother said.
Marry in haste, repent at leisure.
I give it six months.
Repent, repent.
What´s in the sandwiches? Sausages.
- What´s happening? - Lorries in, lorries out.
Meat in, sausages out.
Yeah, this is not a very exciting protest.
What do you expect? They´re not building a bypass.
So why does Trubb want us here? Every self-respecting meat factory has to have protesters.
It´s like a seal of approval from the vegetarian society.
Yeah.
Still, it´s a funny way to run a sausage factory.
Why? Well, that cold room really was freezing.
I mean, the meat would be far too cold to process.
Come on.
Let´s have a look.
What sort of sausages are these? Thunderbolts.
[DOOR CLOSES] - These haven´t moved.
- No.
This isn´t veal.
This is beef.
These are European intervention stocks in deep storage.
- Look at this date.
- 1987.
God, I was still at school in 1987.
Guthrie.
Can I help you? Ah, Mr.
Trubb.
We were just looking for you.
Well, now you´ve found me.
What can I do for you? Well, we were just wondering what sort of night cover you´d like.
Sally.
And? Henderson.
I did mention him.
Oh, yes.
Of course.
- Return to Nice, wasn´t it? - This weekend.
I´ll see what I can do.
I´ll bring the ticket ´round in the morning.
Oh, and remember to wear something smart.
I can probably get you bumped up to first class.
Thank you.
What about mine? When are you due to go? I´ve got to be in Dublin Saturday, no fail.
Otherwise I´m an ex.
Ex what? He means his girlfriend will give him the sack.
Oh.
Okay, I´ll see what I can do.
I´ll dress smart too.
Good.
- Can I have a receipt? - [CAR DOOR CLOSES] This isn´t a shop, you know? - Hello.
- Hello.
We´d better get going.
- Hello, Sally.
- Hi.
- Henderson.
- Hi.
Come on in.
- More tickets? - Yes.
He´s off to Dublin to visit his girlfriend.
She´s going to France to see her sister.
Are they easy to get? Ish.
I hope you´re making something out of this.
I´m sure you could do with the money.
Oh, dear.
Am I a disappointment? No.
No, of course not.
It´s just that you seem to me to be doing a lot of favors for no return.
There comes a time when favors and work get mixed up.
You have to keep the balance right.
Mm.
Yes, of course.
You´re right.
The truth is the freelance pilot business isn´t quite what it used to be.
No? In fact, it´s awful.
I´ve been thinking about a change in direction.
What would you do? Travel is the only trade I know.
I have this dream of opening up a bucket shop.
[CHUCKLES] Maybe I´ll make a killing.
Cheap tickets for all.
But? Yes, there´s always a but, isn´t there? But for money.
There´s a property going cheap in the high street.
But even a cheap lease has to be paid for, and even a bucket shop has to be kitted out.
I´m afraid the truth is I´m I´m not really the success I once thought I was going to be.
You´re broke.
In a word.
Yes.
Have you priced this shop? Yes.
Show me.
[VAN DOOR SLIDES, CLOSES] Thunderbolts are made from old meat? 10 years old.
Ugh! You know, what we need is a list of what´s written on the sides of all the lorries that come in and go out.
You know, names, phone numbers, all that.
- When? - Tonight.
Yeah, we´re supposed to be spying on the protesters.
Yes, well, Mr.
Trubb has paid for our attention, but he hasn´t bought us, okay? I´ll see you in the morning.
What about the observation? We´re supposed to take breaks.
Quite right, yes.
Well, you sleep until midnight, and you sleep after it.
We haven´t got enough bodies to cover the night shift.
[SIGHS] Look, we´re all that Trubb has paid for.
I´m sorry.
And don´t look like that.
I didn´t invent the system.
- Bye-bye, sir.
- Thank you.
Well? What do you think? Looks pretty good to me.
ANTHONY: It´s all in the location.
This could work.
Morning.
Hello, sir.
Nice to see you again.
Good to see you.
Can I have another set of those Thunderbolts? - Oh, yes.
- Three packs, please.
Okay, four trout, one ham, one roast pepper, and one steak and kidney please.
GARY: All right.
Got it.
Chef, do you know if Mrs.
Crabbe´s gonna be long? Only we´re starting to fill up.
She just popped out to visit a friend.
- Shall I do the trouts, Chef? - Mm.
I´ll leave you the Kate and Sidney, yeah? Mm.
Recognize anything? No.
But I thought that was the point of sausages.
Mm.
JULIA: Margaret.
Hi.
I can´t stay long.
- How are things? - Marvelous.
Thanks for coming.
Oh, all the best accountants do home visits.
Well, I hope you´re not just my accountant.
Oh, Julia.
What can I do for you? I want some investment advice.
I´m thinking of putting £30,000 into a shop.
What do you think? - What kind of shop? - Travel agents.
I didn´t know you knew anything about the travel business.
I don´t.
I´d be the sleeping partner.
Well, who will be the waking partner? Well, travel shop.
It´s a bit of a clue.
- No.
- Yes.
- Anthony? - Yes.
So you´ll put in 30,000, and then he´ll match it with what? Expertise.
He´s very knowledgeable.
- But no money? - Well, no, of course not.
Otherwise he wouldn´t need a sleeping part Uh-oh.
You´ve got that look on your face.
What look? Julia, I know he´s a lovely man.
I´m sure you´re having a terrific time.
But you hardly know him.
You´re talking about a lot of money.
How well do you need to know someone? £30,000? Very well indeed.
You don´t approve.
It´s your money.
It was my idea.
The whole thing was my idea.
It´s a dream of his.
I suddenly saw that I could do it.
I could make it happen for him.
Well, I really don´t know why you´ve asked me here.
You´ve obviously made up your mind already.
I just wanted to tell someone.
I thought you´d understand.
Henry, do I have a "look"? What sort of a look? Disapproving.
Nah.
I don´t mean just now.
In general.
Margaret, you do not have a look.
Julia´s thinking of sinking 30,000 quid into a business.
Oh, yeah? Ours? [CHUCKLING] Oh, no.
Apparently Anthony the pilot wants to set up a bucket shop in the high street.
Well Doesn´t know anything about buckets.
He wants to sell plane tickets.
And she wants to be his partner.
In everything, apparently.
Don´t you care? Not much.
I mean, she´s worth, what, two million? Well, she wouldn´t notice it.
Don´t know what all the fuss is about.
I think it´s a mistake.
Well, that´s one bucket he´s not gonna get to the bottom of, isn´t it? I don´t like it.
Julia´s very vulnerable since Billy died and the kids left home.
- She´s all at sea.
- And now she´s found a pilot.
[GROANS] You´re not jealous, are you? About Anthony? Do me a favor! He´s not my type.
No, no, no.
I mean about Julia.
- About Julia? - Mm.
Well, you´re her friend.
She needs you.
Now she has Anthony, maybe she needs you less.
No, Henry.
I´m definitely not jealous.
Good.
- Vegetarian sausages? - Mm.
Isn´t that a contradiction in terms? Mm.
See, the thing with sausages It isn´t the stuff that you put in.
It´s the stuff that you leave out.
Soya protein.
Trubb makes his sausages out of soya protein.
Mm.
Is he there? Not yet.
Table for one, please, Margaret.
Anthony´s gone to Oslo for the day.
Oh.
Um, I´ll just have a salad, thank you.
Did you think any more about our conversation last night? Yes.
I´ve made up my mind.
And? I can easily afford this investment.
- You´re taking a big risk.
- I know, I know.
And I know it seems unreasonable.
But I´m sure of him.
Julia, did you say that Anthony was in Oslo today? Yes.
Because I saw him half an hour ago in the high street.
- You´re mistaken.
- I´m not.
[SIGHS] Oh, Julia.
I´m so worried about you.
I don´t want you to get hurt.
This is all so quick.
- Can´t you just - Just? Take it easy? Just enjoy yourself for awhile? Excuse me, Margaret.
- Sally.
- Mrs.
Sutton.
Anthony asked me to give you this.
Thank you.
Is that your ticket? Does it say anything about mine? "Dear Sally, I meant to bring you the ticket this afternoon but I´ve instead had to fly to Oslo.
" "I know you´re leaving tomorrow and will have the ticket there ready for you in time.
You never know I may even drive you to the airport.
See you at the restaurant first thing tomorrow.
Love and kisses, Anthony.
" So So he doesn´t mention mine.
SALLY: [SIGHS] Don´t you know when to keep your mouth shut? Well, he´s got my money, and I haven´t even got a receipt! Hey! Where are you going? I´ve changed me mind.
I´m gonna ask for me money back.
He isn´t gonna be there.
Trubbs Thunderbolt doesn´t contain any meat? No, sir.
None.
Does it matter? Well, of course, it matters! It matters to all of those women who have been protesting on the part of the poor little veal calves.
It matters to all those people who have been buying veal and pork sausages from Mr.
Trubb, who makes bangers without any bang.
I suppose the offense would be fraud and deception! I suppose it would.
Well, of course it would! It´s shocking! There would be a lot of publicity if we charged him.
Yes.
Very positive too.
"A.
C.
C.
Fisher protects the public again.
" - Okay.
Nick him.
- Right.
- At the end of the month.
- What? Why? Because he´s paid to the end of the month.
Go back to the factory, keep the protester situation under surveillance, and on the 31st of the month, nick him.
Why did he call the police in in the first place, I wonder? He could hardly go down to the factory gates and say, "Push off There isn´t any meat in the sausages anyway," could he? Trubb´s brought this on himself.
And what about England´s sausage eaters? I don´t think many people will think it´s the business of a police squad.
Anyway, two more weeks of healthy soya protein isn´t gonna do them any harm.
Oh, God.
Well, I´ll tell Morton and Guthrie.
I suppose they´ll be delighted.
Don´t look like that, Crabbe.
I didn´t invent the system.
Who are you? I´m the landlady.
Who are you? My name´s Henderson.
I´ve come to get me money back from Anthony.
Me too.
He owes three months´ rent, and all I got out of him was a measly old 80 quid.
It didn´t have a £20 note with some Sellotape on it and a Biro mark in the corner? I beg your pardon? ´Cause if it did, it´s mine.
80 quid? Peanuts.
Quit while you´re in front.
That´s my advice.
GARY: Well, I never trusted him anyway.
MARGARET: Oh, come on.
He´s been coming here a long time.
GARY: He´s a bit smarmy, though, isn´t he? MARGARET: It seems really strange.
- £30,000.
- SALLY: I know, I know.
- GARY: Got to get sorted out.
- [INDISTINCT TALKING] What is going on here? Henry, we have got a problem.
We´re gonna have a much bigger problem if this kitchen isn´t cleaned up by 6:00 tonight.
Now, come along, everybody What? Anthony the pilot´s done a bunk with my ticket money.
SALLY: And I still haven´t got my ticket.
Anthony´s a con man.
The car wasn´t his.
- And he never paid his rent.
- No, I did! My sister´s expecting me, and I still don´t know if I can go or not.
All he sent is this stupid note.
I went ´round to ask for me money back, and he´d scarpered.
MARGARET: You´ll have to do something, Henry.
Me? Well, who else? You´ll have to catch him before someone really gets hurt.
Julia´s already offered him £30,000.
Well, more fool her.
It is her money.
And I saw him in the high street with another woman.
Julia´s not the only one.
He hasn´t done anything wrong.
He hasn´t done anything wrong?! HENRY: No.
Nothing criminal, no.
What about my 80 nicker? MARGARET: What about Julia´s 30,000? GARY: And what about Sally´s money? Julia may or may not have given him the money.
We don´t know that.
Sally isn´t due to leave until tomorrow.
Henderson hasn´t even asked Anthony for the return of the money yet.
So there isn´t any case to answer.
I don´t believe this.
We´ve got to actually let him rip us off, and only then it´s a crime and you can do something about it? If he does, it is possibly a crime.
In which case, I can possibly get the police involved.
As it stands, a court would probably say he´s just incurring civil debts.
Not criminal law, you see? Civil.
Oh, this is ridiculous.
I´m not standing for this.
Margaret.
Margaret? Margaret? - He won´t be there.
- We´ll see.
- He´s a romancer.
- Huh! Con man.
He´s a dreamer.
He´ll say anything Julia wants to hear.
He´ll probably allow her to buy him presents, he´ll show her a good time, and then at the first whiff of confrontation pfft! He´ll disappear.
- With her money.
- Oh, yes.
[BOTH SIGH] He won´t be there.
[DOOR OPENS] Hello.
JULIA: Who is it? Come in.
Shall I make some more tea? No thanks, Julia.
Whiskey, anyone? MARGARET: No.
[CLOCK CHIMING] Well, we´re we´re glad we´ve found you, Anthony.
[CLEARS THROAT] We were getting rather worried about Sally´s ticket.
Oh, it´s all under control.
Just that you seem to have, um, moved out of your house and had your car towed away.
Anthony´s staying here for awhile, Henry.
Oh, good.
So that means we´ll know where to find him.
Where´s it coming from, by the way? What? I´m sorry.
The ticket.
Who´s supplying it? Just an old work contact.
I-I think that Sally and Henderson would like their money back, Anthony.
Yes, well, I´m afraid they can´t.
I´ve already paid the money over.
These are very cheap tickets.
The money has to be paid up front, I´m afraid.
Which airline do you work for, Anthony? I think I´ve told you I´m freelance.
Yes, but which? I mean, any.
I mean, name any airline you´ve been employed by in the last, say, five years.
What are you suggesting, Henry? Well, Anthony does seem to talk an awful lot about flying without actually doing any.
Talks about tickets without there being any.
Talks about being a pilot without ac Are you really a pilot, Anthony? Yes, of course I am.
I fly all over the place.
Like Oslo, for example? Anthony´s explained to me why he was in the high street when he said he´d be in Oslo.
Did he explain about the other woman in his car? Margaret! I´m just trying to protect your £30,000, Julia.
You say you´re lending him the money because he loves you.
Well, does he? That was my landlady.
I had paid her back 80 quid of the money I owed her, and then I drove her into town.
You satisfied? I´ll see you out, shall I? If you steal from my staff, young man, I´ll make this an official police matter.
Is that clear? Crystal.
Oh, it´s very easy really.
It´s veal, pork, onions, garlic, herbs, spices.
Go on.
And them some fresh breadcrumbs.
And you bind the mixture all together with an egg.
Oh, right.
- Some more? - Yeah.
He´s not coming, is he? No.
There never were any tickets.
I am sorry.
Look, this should set you straight financially, at least.
And this is for Henderson.
MARGARET: Thanks, Julia.
You´re more than any man deserves.
You´re not going to invest that money, are you? Of course.
But why, when you know what he´s like? I love him.
He could blow it and then disappear.
You know what I´ve learned from you and Henry? I dread to think.
Life is not a rehearsal.
Look at what you´re both doing here.
You have to do the things you want to do now.
And hang the consequences! TRUBB: Mr.
Crabbe.
Mr.
Crabbe.
I was warned you weren´t Special Branch, but this is the limit.
You were hired to keep tabs on these people, not to feed them.
Oh, they´re quite friendly, really.
And besides, they´ve all decided to pack up and leave.
- Have they? - Oh, yeah.
My God! They´re eating my Thunderbolts! Now, I´m glad you confirmed that in front of Mr.
Cole.
Who´s he? Trading standards officer.
He´s very interested in your sausages.
Come along.
Shame.
She must be out of her mind.
That´s what Mum said when I married you.
No, it was my mum said that.
- Was it? - Yes.
I think it was my mum.
- Well, my mum agreed.
- Yes, she did agree.