Pinky and the Brain (1995) s03e14 Episode Script

Pinky Suavo

Gee, brain, What do you want to do tonight? The same thing we do every night, pinky-- Try to take over the world.
they're pinky and the brain yes, pinky and the brain one is a genius the other's insane they're laboratory mice their genes have been spliced they're dinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain brain, brain, brain, brain, brain before each night is done their plan will be unfurled by the dawning of the sun they'll take over the world they're pinky and the brain yes, pinky and the brain their twilight campaign is easy to explain to prove their mousey worth they'll overthrow the earth they're dinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain brain, brain, brain, brain Narf! warner bros.
Brain: pinky, i have arrived at an epiphany.
Do you know why I have yet to take over the world? Um, because you're a stinky puss, grouchy face And nobody will share their crayons with you except me? Ha ha! Narf! Actually, yes.
But i'm big enough to admit my shortcoming.
And now, i intend to rectify it.
With years of emotionally draining and expensive psychoanalysis? No, with a machine.
The personalitron! Naaaaaaaaarf! Thanks.
Ha ha ha ha.
By feeding pictures and bios of charismatic celebrities Into the personalitron, I shall extract the traits that made these people so magnetic: The undiluted machismo of john wayne, The dynamic sensuality of valentino, The sensitivity of actor's actor tony randall.
After i transfer these winning personality traits to me, The entire world will beg to bow before me, Their charismatic despot.
Oh, oh, how about adding the pure comedic genius of the unknown comic To enhance your wacky side? Ha ha! Troz! May i see that, pinky? Mm-Hmm.
Thank you.
My pleasure.
Pinky: ptoo! Ha ha ha! Soon i shall be a whole new mouse.
More personable, More captivating, More cool.
Ohh! Brain! Brain: aah! I'll get you out, brain! Waaaaa! Pinky! [Coughs] pinky! Pinky, are you all right? [French accent] i know not to whom you refer with this, How you say, pinky? Perhaps you speak of the great pinky suavo.
He, who is i, that is, moi.
You rang, no? Yeeeeees! Pinky suavo? Pinky, snap out of it.
I can't bring myself to bop you.
It's almost as if i'm hypnotized.
This is understandable, You, the man with the bulbous head and tiny body.
Oof! For it is my tragic fate That everyone loves pinky suavo.
Yes! Yes.
I mean, no.
I mean, yes! The machine worked! Pinky suavo, are you pondering what i'm pondering? Yeeeeees! But why does the chicken cross the road, huh, If not for love? Ohh, i do not know.
No, pinky suavo.
We shall use your magnetic qualities to entrance the populace.
Once they're under your spell, You can tell them to elect me world leader.
Yes, you may have the world, power-Hungry, bean-Head boy.
For pinky suavo hungers only for amor.
[Dance music plays] Pinky: pardonnez-Moi.
I am pinky suavo.
All: ohh right this way, sir.
All: ohh turn the big bad romance passionate behavior walkin' like a, talkin' like a king and a savior ha ha ha ha.
Pinky suavo.
All: pinky suavo.
Pinky suavo.
Pinky suavo.
[Girls screaming] Pinky suavo! Coming up later we'll meet pinky suavo, Author of the new tell-All tome suavo on suavo.
Ahh! All: ahh! Hey, is that pinky suavo a hit or what? The whole world adores you pinky suavo.
But it is my purpose to be adored, no? Yeeeeees! No.
Your purpose is to tell the world your secret, That the brain made you what you are today.
Ah, yes, the brain.
For without it, Love she is stupid.
I am talking about me.
How selfish.
Oh, i don't care how magnetic you are.
Narf! Poit! Ha ha! No! Egad! Narf! Ha ha ha! Narf! Poit! Egad! Troz! Poit! Ha ha ha ha! What have i done? You're on in mr.
We'll have to hurry.
Narf! Poit! Ha ha ha! Troz! Egad! Zort! Ha ha ha ha! Don't worry, pinky.
Soon you'll be back to your old suavo self.
Poit! Zort! Narf! Troz! Ha ha ha! And by increasing the power of the transference, We'll eradicate any further mishaps.
Yes! Pinky: aah! Pinky: aah! Pinky: aah! Pinky? Pinky, are you all right? So, pinky suavo, How did you get so, well, suavo? I know not to whom you refer-- Zort! Perhaps you speak of the great unknown suavo! Yes! Ha ha ha ha! Oh, look, i am linda blair.
Ha ha! Troz! Ha ha ha ha.
Whoo-Hoo! All: eww! Ewww! Ewww! Ohh! I can't believe i inserted this stupid photo Into the personalitron.
Hey, hey, brainy, baby, what's brown and sticky? I don't know.
A stick.
Ha ha ha ha! Ooh, i got a million of 'em.
Narf! Ha ha ha ha ha! Don't remind me.
Now, settle.
We have a lot of work to do before tomorrow night.
Why? What are we gonna do tomorrow night, fathead?! Ha ha ha ha ha.
The same thing we do every night.
Try to fix the personalitron And make the unknown suavo go away.
Chorus: * say bravo for suavo and the brain * brain, brain, brain brain Pinky: yeeeeees! [Thunder] They are everywhere, pinky.
They control everything.
They command the highways, the skyways, and even the byways.
They gave brooke shields a sitcom.
Ohhhh! Do you know who they are, pinky? Why, of course i do, brain.
They are harry, bo, and frizzy, The 3 morons.
They are my favorite comedy trio.
Narf! Hey, bo, harry, look at me.
I'm a fat hippo.
Nyee! Nyee! Nyee! Nyee! Nyee! Nyee! Nyee! Nyee! Nyee-- Ha ha ha ha! Just this once, promise me You'll control your spastic and nonsensical outbursts For the rest of the night.
Ok, brain.
Narf! I promise.
Thank you.
Nyee! Nyee! Nyee! Nyee! Pinky! Oh, was i being spastic and nonsensical? Yes, most definitely.
, pinky.
The horde of ecumenical yodelers.
Yodelers! Zort! Riccola-- Remember your promise.
They don't actually yodel, pinky.
Their name is but an innocent-Sounding smoke screen To divert attention from the group's true purpose: To rule the earth! T.
Are actually an ultra-Secret, Clandestine society of world leaders.
Why are t.
Called yodelers if t.
Don't yodel? Uh, because all ultra-Secret, clandestine societies Have funny names that don't make any sense.
Narf! Like the senate ethics committee? Yes, my friend.
But the horde of ecumenical yodelers Wields more weight Than any common governmental body.
Their membership roster is a virtual who's who Of earth's most powerful people.
Tonight, 2 new names Will be added to this elite list.
Shields and yarnell? Oof! Ha ha ha ha! No, us.
And once we are members of t.
, We shall gain entrance to their secret vault, Where t.
Keep everything you need to know To rule the world! There it is, The secret meeting place of the horde of ecumenical yodelers.
Riccola-- Soon we shall be privy to their most important secrets.
Like how the leopard got its trunk? Yes.
And how many licks it would take To get to the center of your mind.
The world may never know.
Narf! Perhaps they didn't hear me.
Yeelg! Gleey! Who goes there? It is i-- Ned limpopo, Ruler of brainania.
And this is hassan limbeck, Minister of finance.
We want to join your club.
Brainania burst into molten fire And was swallowed by the dark ocean depths.
Brainania is no more.
Yes, but we still have A post office box in texas.
Oh! Well, golly! Why didn't you say so? Hey, come on in, y'all.
Pinky, we're in.
Are you pondering what i'm pondering? Oh, i think so, brain, But i prefer space jelly.
No, pinky.
We are mere moments from gaining admittance To the secret vault.
Hey, these fellas here Are ned limpopo and hassan limbeck Of brainania.
They got a p.
Ah! Oh! P.
Nice to meet you.
Now if you'll direct us to your secret vault, We'd like to catch up On the club's activities.
Yee-Haw! The secret vault's right over here.
Yes! [German accent] not so fast.
We have no way of knowing You are who you say you are.
You may just be some fancy talkers Mit a p.
That's right.
[Muttering in agreement] Give us the secret high sign That all world leaders know.
[Gulps] High sign? Oh.
Well, uh that's easy.
It goes like, um this? Live long and, uh oh, i mean, uh ey! Nyee! Nyee! Nyee! Nyee! Nyee! Nyee! Nyee! Nyee! Oh, no.
Nyee! Nyee! Nyee! Nyee! Velcome, friends.
You are vorld leaders after all.
Nyee! Nyee! Now to the secret vault.
Not yet! To enter the secret vault, You must wear the purple robe.
That's a given.
That's the rule.
And before you are allowed to wear the purple robe, You first must be tested.
Yes, yes, a test.
Let's get on with it.
Will it be multiple choice or essay? [Cackling fiendishly] [Gulps] [gulps] Dooph! Henceforth, You shall be known as pledge you're-A-Dweeb.
And you shall be known as pledge i'm-A-Doofus.
Oh, i think i'm going to like this test, You're-A-Dweeb.
Geegh! Remember your promise, pinky.
Dooph! You're-A-Dweeb! What is his proper name? I'm-A-Doofus.
Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Um, may i ask Which one of you is saddam? Who wants to know? Ahem.
We are from ugly persons quarterly magazine.
In our annual readers' poll, You have been named "ugly tyrant of the year.
" We hereby present you With the "already been chewed" gum ball award In honor of your achievement.
Congratulations! Zort! [Cheering] [Weeping] I have never won anything before.
Thank you so much! [Sighs] [sighs] Come on in and have some pork rinds.
What are your names? I'm-A-Doofus.
[All gasp] Did you hear that, fellas? He called me a dweeb! No.
That's my pledge name-- You're-A-Dweeb.
Ha ha ha ha! Whoa! Whaaah! Oh! Being a pledge is fun, fun city really.
It's like getting bopped on the head, But more so.
on the iq chart, And you'd be a doorknob, pinky.
Dooph! I'm-A-Doofus.
Congratulations, pledges.
You have passed the first test.
You shall be rewarded For your good work.
With entrance to the secret vault? No, but something even better.
Uhh uhh uhh uhh would somebody please tell me What this has to do With joining the world's most elite club? You dare questions the sacred rites Set down by the ancient ones? Yeah.
We had to do this, So you got to do it, too.
Of course, when we all went cow-Tippin', We used real cows.
But this is a buckingham palace guard.
Timber! Dooph! One one Well, the white house Is toilet-Papered, pinky.
Agh! I'm-A-Doofus.
That's my name.
Don't wear it out.
Ha ha ha ha-- You promised that you wouldn't act Like such a moron all the time.
Promise me from now on That you will keep your promises.
I promise you're-A-Dweeb.
Ha ha ha ha ha! [Dogs barking] Make haste! Whoa! Whaaah! [Grrr] [grrr] Heh heh.
[Panting] If that doesn't prove we're worthy, I don't know what will.
Pledge you're-A-Dweeb, Where is your beanie? My beanie? Oh, uh i, uh retrieve the sacred beanie.
Yaaah! [Dogs barking] Yaah! Whaaah! Dooph! Buh! What next, A panty raid at the kremlin? A wacky food fight with nato? Tie us to margaret thatcher's head And make us sing camptown ladies? Hey, those are pretty good ideas.
Let's try it.
Enough! If this is what passes for conduct Becoming of world leaders, I don't want any part of it.
Well, gosh, That's too bad, pledge you're-A-Dweeb, 'Cause we were just about to initiate y'all.
And let you share the wisdom Of the secret vault.
Uhi was just joking, of course.
Riccola! Riccola! Riccola! Yaah! Dooph! Oh, let me back in.
I'll be good.
I promise.
I really like being a pledge.
It's fun.
Nyee! Nyee! Heh.
Oh, darn.
Ha ha ha ha! Ho ho ho! Hee hee! Moron: nyee! Nyee! Nyee! Nyee! Nyee! Nyee! Nyee! Nyee! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha! Hee hee! Now you know what's in our secret vault.
We have the world's most complete Everything you need to know To be a world ruler.
Why, you i oughtta-- What did i do? Nyuk nyuk! Nyuk nyuk! Why, you i oughtta-- What'd i do? Nyuk nyuk! Nyuk nyuk! Ha ha! Oh, i'm going to like this club.
Ha ha! Narf! Pinky, tell me what you saw In the secret vault.
Oh, i saw lots of things, brain.
Like-- Oh, wait.
I promised not to tell.
Ha ha ha ha! But you can tell me.
I'm your best friend.
Oh, no.
I'm going to keep my promises from now on, brain, Just like you asked me to.
I want you to respect me.
Egad! I can't wait until the next club meeting.
Why? What are you going to do At the next club meeting, pinky? Why, the same thing we do at every club meeting, brain.
Troz! i can't tell you Brain: grrrr! Pinky: nyee! Nyee! Nyee! Nyee! warner bros.
Captioned by the national --Www.