Preacher (2016) s03e07 Episode Script


1 Previously on AMC's "Preacher" Not till I get my soul! - I gave you what you wanted.
- What I want is your debt paid.
I need to squeeze Jesse Custer.
Any word yet on the vampire? Still searching, sir.
- Ahhh! - Aah! CASSIDY: You damnin' him so you can just turn into a cat for laughs.
All right, I give, I give.
I'm impressed by it.
[SCREAMS] Got to make a stop first.
[CHUCKLES] Can't keep my boy from his avocado.
How proud you must be.
Delightful child.
Hilter! I gotta duck out for a couple hours this afternoon.
Cover for me if my wife calls? Again, Herr Marty? My groin elixir.
Puts a little rev in the engine, - know what I mean? - Ja.
Which is good 'cause I got me a rendezvous with a hot little number I met at the Target.
The restaurant'll be empty, just gotta tap that, you know? Ja.
I understand.
You tap your hot number.
I will watch ze store.
Good man.
Well, time for my break.
Half a mile away? That's not employee parking.
That's a message.
That's "Go eff yourselves.
" So's a 35-cent-an hour raise.
What'm I supposed to do with that? What do you think, David? I have been to Hell und back.
If you're asking me what I think is the answer to all that bothers you From inconvenient employee parking to low wages to how fat you people are? The answer to me is simply put Is the Jews.
My boss is a Jew.
Of course he is.
Satan sent you.
Well, it is good timing, actually.
I have just got my four-year plan off the ground, and I have not yet decided on an Interior Minister.
Y-You see, I-I have heard of you, mein kumpel.
I could use someone with your gifts.
The world is ripe for a new Reich.
Why go back?! I have made such progress, in a short time Oh, please! Not now! The Zionist World Government must be stopped! Ach, great.
What're you looking at?! All right, Hilter.
If Doris calls What's going on? I fear they want to take me back to Hell.
You can't do [GRUNTS] [SLAM, SQUEAKING] I am not going back.
I have too much to do.
I am not! Going! Back! Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh, oh [FLICKS LIGHTER] I'm sorry.
Me too.
- Messiah.
Welcome back to Angelville.
[CLACK] You see, the thing people forget about the '60s is how iffy the drugs were, you know? And that's why I had such a rough go at Woodstock.
Let's have a look.
Purple ball, corner pocket.
No, Kevin.
You're screwing it up.
You've gotta twist and you gotta turn.
Twisting and turning.
Twist and turn.
That's it.
Ah, well done, man.
You know.
I dropped acid at breakfast, right? And by the time Ravi Shankar got onstage, I was seeing bloody monsters, cryin' like a bloody Englishman, you know what I mean? The point is, what I'm tryin' to tell you is, it's no use gettin' soppy about how good things used to be.
Most times, today is better, all right? Right.
Let's have a look here.
Number 13, corner pocket.
- Ca Va, mes enfants.
- Ca Va, my lord.
Let me show something.
All right.
Those are some big coffins, huh? Standard size.
New Orleans.
That one is for you.
If you'd like.
You sleep in a coffin? It's, uh, Persian silk velvet.
It is the vampire way.
Has been for millennia.
Well, it might be your vampire way, but my vampire way is bean bag chairs and bathroom floors, you know what I mean? Well.
You know, if you should your mind.
Well, thank you, though, man.
You know what, it's really thoughtful.
Thank you.
Uh, there was another thing that I needed to mention.
There will be another blood ceremony tonight.
Lisa has been chosen and I know she would consider it a great honor if you will be the one who brought her Look.
I-I already told you.
Turning people, it's not my thing.
Because of what happened with your son? No.
You guys, you do what you need to do to get yer rocks off.
They're consentin' adults, it's a free country.
Kind of.
In my experience? Nothing ever good came from making more of us.
That's all.
LES ENFANTS: Fly! Fly! Fly! [LAUGHS] You couldn't be more wrong.
[APPLAUSE] Deng Vuong.
The day has come.
It's your time to fly.
LES ENFANTS: Fly! Fly! Fly! Fly! Fly! It's been real, y'all.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] I don't think Deng's gonna get much lift with all that luggage and all.
[CHUCKLES] But he's not literally going to fly, silly.
Eccarius is taking him to the airport.
Why? - Deng's going on his mission work.
- What? To make the world safer for us.
[SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYS] He's going where we all go when it's our time to fly.
To open a new chapter of Les Enfants.
For 50 years, Eccarius has been sending us all over the world as ambassadors.
To change the hearts of those who hate us, to turn those who would join us in our fight.
All the while creating a network of safe havens In a world that still seeks to harm us.
Eccarius likes to say, "They don't hate us.
They hate themselves and we're a convenient vessel.
" But now, no one will have to live in fear of persecution anymore.
It's Eccarius' dream.
To provide a sanctuary.
To give anyone like you And soon me A home.
Eccarius did all that? Cool, right? Yeah.
It is cool.
[LAUGHS] This is interesting.
Well, I'll cut right to it.
I owe a debt to Gran'Ma.
And I will pay it down.
If she will allow me to borrow you.
I need your grandson's help in resolving a business dispute.
And what is your business, Mr.
Starr? It's quite hum-drum, actually.
Public relations.
Crisis management.
That kind of thing.
But we have resources, so I am both able and prepared to make his temporary release worth your while.
We could, uh, rebuild your business.
Restore your charming cottage here to its former glories.
I noticed your slave quarters are empty.
We could change that.
Or if you wanted to leave the 19th century behind, what about a television program? "The Down Home Witching Hour with Voodoo Granny" or some such.
That's easy.
That's an email.
I want souls.
Of course.
I hope you're sitting down.
I believe I'm about to secure your leverage.
Bless me, father, for I have sinned, it's been two weeks since my last confession.
What would you like to confess, my child? I've been thinking I want to wear Miley Cyrus' skin like a pelt.
I want to catch a vampire.
[GRUNTS] I'm pretty good with wounds, you know.
Not to brag, but I once I once took a pig's heart and I put it into an Irish setter.
Dog didn't die for two whole days.
I can probably help you with that nose.
It's fine.
Yeah, barely notice it.
What happened? Snake bite? Nostril cancer? [SNICKERS] Some bitch sucker punched me.
Can't be a sucker punch if you saw it comin'.
Who said I saw it coming? I'm missing gator season for this shit? They been in in there like forever.
10 minutes.
Well, it feel like longer.
Anyway, it all worked out in the end.
Some problems, like getting Genesis back, are too big for someone like you.
You were smart to call us.
You were smart to come when we called.
You need us a helluva lot more than we need you.
What's a Genesis? - A band.
- A band.
And we need Jesse, not you.
The way I see it, he doesn't need you, either.
Without you screwing up For the 19th time Jesse would've been out of this mess a long time ago.
Maybe that's his thing? Screw-ups who sucker-punch.
[SCOFFS] Love is weird.
JESSE: Recognize that? [SPEAKS JAPANESE] Soul Happy Go Go.
The world's largest soul retailer.
The Japanese.
Sabina must've been in business with 'em.
A man with your resources, you must have contacts there.
Of course I do.
The Grail owns it.
Warehouse in Osaka.
I see.
I could easily make that happen.
Do it.
Then you can "borrow" him.
Unfortunately, I'm on a time crunch.
I'll have an infiltration unit en route to Japan in 2 hours, but I need Jesse now.
Gran'Ma, they must have hundreds of souls there.
Millions, actually.
I've seen the warehouse pictures.
It's like Willy Wonka's Oompa Loompa Room.
Hear that? A lifetime of souls.
[GLASS SHATTERS] I love him.
More than anything.
But if you don't get me what I want? I'll make sure he's of no use to you or anyone.
I don't foresee any problems.
[GRUNTS] Yeah me, either.
Enough with the roughhousing.
You're going to Osaka.
She is your "infiltration unit"? I don't have a deep bench.
Just her and someone even less.
And for a job like this? Well, you just said it'd be easy.
I lied.
To get what I wanted.
You do that a lot, don't you? No more than industry standard.
Well, I don't like your industry, Starr.
You lie to me again, I'll give you two ugly eyes.
Change of plan.
Tulip, you're going to Osaka.
Excuse me? Would you like to go to Osaka? Break into a souls warehouse? Security tight? No, no, it's not really heavily defended at all Shut up.
Security's tight.
Well, what about you? I got a date with this asshole.
Where's Osaka again? Japan, you idiot.
[GRUNTS] [COUGHS] Now that's a sucker punch.
I'll go.
You both will.
Yeh know every speck of dust in yer house is like a microhistory of yer life? There's 63,000 different kinds of fungi.
You know? There's 16,000 different species of bacteria, and there are I I don't care about that right now.
[SOFTLY] Right.
[EXHALES DEEPLY] Do you trust me? I do.
Do you choose this freely? I do.
Do you forsake the sunlit world and surrender What is it? LES ENFANTS: To our dark and scarlet urging? Sorry.
Our dark and scarlet urging? I will.
[WHISPERS] Yeh know you don't have to do this.
I want to.
Don't you? Okay.
[GASPS] [GASPS] ECCARIUS: That's enough, brother.
Do you wanna get out of here? Huh.
STARR: Your target? Soul Happy Go Go.
Located here, in Umeda, the business district.
There's a sublime sushi omakase at the Imperial Hotel.
Doubt you'll have time, but if you do, keep your receipts.
Normally, of course, I'd send for the souls via FedEx, but Allfather would catch wind and start asking why.
And right now, I'm two buttocks away from being rolled into human paste.
Cover story, sir? You are Veruca Weiss, a mid-level operative in Grail H.
Will I have a limp, sir? [SCOFFS] You and your limps.
What you need is a cover story for that nose.
Way ahead of you, sir.
Phosphorous fire.
I've decided Veruca's an amateur chemist.
She wanted to follow in the footsteps of her father, a brilliant professor at CalTech, but when her mother passed away - in an unfortunate - Fine.
You are Janie Finch.
Also in H.
No, no.
I'm No, I'm Marnie Pomerantz.
I mean That's always her cover.
I mean, you gotta let her be Marnie.
What's she like? Marnie.
Well, she's tough.
She fights hard, obviously.
Chews gum.
[LAUGHS] Chews gum.
Interesting character.
Very complex.
Oh, I'll show you complex.
- That doesn't make any sense.
- Yeah, it does.
STARR: You are Grail operative Janie Finch and so you will be wearing this.
Can I talk to you a sec? Hey.
This is how we do it.
This is how we win.
You go with Featherstone, I go with Starr.
This is so dumb, Jesse.
Pairin' up with the world's biggest backstabbin' double crossers.
- Serious? - Yeah, well, we're all out of options.
Chances are one of us is gonna make it back here.
If it's me with Genesis, I'll kill Gran'Ma.
If it's you with the souls, then you pay her off and you run.
She is gonna push me.
Okay? - If I get on a plane with her - Well, don't let her.
she's gonna push me, and push me, and I'm gonna pull some stupid O'Hare shit like always.
Oh, enough with the Curse of the O'Hare crap.
Oh, right, like you never thought it.
I haven't.
Bullshit, you haven't.
Well, if I have, I was wrong to.
You're the toughest, most survivingest woman I ever met.
- Mm-hmm.
- [SCOFFS] Mm-hmm.
I like that.
If Flufferman gets up in your grill? Just close your eyes and breathe.
"Breathe"? Yeah.
You'll be fine.
I am not wearing that suit.
Hey, check this out.
I g - Stop doin' that! - Sorry.
I'm just, uh, giving a little helping hand! CASSIDY: You'd think I'd have a tail at least, you know? ECCARIUS: Give it time, brother.
You've only just started.
Give it time? It's been like three hours.
Maybe more than that.
Have you ever had cat sex? [SCOFFS] I can do this.
I want to be able to make my own That him? Man with the cat? Yeah.
We need him alive.
And the cat man? Do whatever you want with him.
Saddle up.
I don't wanna talk about it.
Not one Goddamn word.
[SIGHS] Some sort of polyester blend? What did I just say? All right.
I'm sorry.
You ever been to Japan? No.
Never even tried sushi.
You goin' back to New Orleans? First thing in the morning.
Check on Cass while you're there? I may not get a chance.
Check on him, Jesse.
He's your best friend, and I'm worried about him.
: I-I would love to go myself, but, well, I-I'm not allowed on airplanes anymore since they tightened up the watchlists, you know? Hmm.
Too bad.
But Jody will take good care of you.
Time to go.
Watch your ass, okay? You watch yours, too.
[DOOR CREAKS] You watch your ass, too sir.
I'll call you from the car.
Why? Yeah, I'll text you from the plane.
Why? I'll see you when the mission's done, sir.
[DOOR OPENS] Excellent.
The game's afoot.
GRAN'MA: Jesse! Gimme a minute.
I like your hat.
Thank you.
Yeah, I-I had a hat once? I-I-It was, um, it was made out of, uh, possum guts? You know, possum guts? It was It was stank to high heaven 'cause I-I didn't I didn't cure the The flesh I didn't cure it right, but the thing I loved most about Excuse me.
Oh, yeah.
You go right ahead.
[DIAL TONE] [DIAL TONE CONTINUES] So you're leavin'? Mm-hmm.
No, you're not.
You're gonna stay here with me.
Because, uh, because T.
is makin' chicken biscuits fer supper and you You love chicken biscuits.
So that's it, then.
You're gonna stay.
Gran'Ma, this is a good thing.
Gonna finally get what you want.
What you've always wanted.
I hope so.
Otherwise, I'll tear you in half, suck out yer soul and send you to Hell the way I did your mama.
It won't come to that.
Trust me.
You'll come back to me? I'll come back.
I promise.
ECCARIUS: The flying's coming along.
The animal transmutation? A work in progress.
But the mesmerizing [LAUGHS] CASSIDY: All right.
That was embarrassing, mate.
I tell you what.
You're makin' fun of me? You a man who's off his face off one glass of bloody absinthe? Uh, it was a glass and a half, actually.
[SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE] I always cursed the day I was turned, you know? Just bein' what I was, like But maybe yer right.
Maybe I just been doin' it all wrong? Well, perhaps I have as well.
Been on this planet for over 300 years, and I'd never done a bong hit until tonight.
That's pitiful.
There are other ways to make up for lost time, though.
You know, I teach an absolute bloody master class in angel dust.
Oh, that's because you're a junkie nonpareil, Cassidy.
You callin' me a junkie? A wanton, riotous junkie.
And I love it.
Hey, so here's an idea.
I heard about this underground sex club down the road down there.
Cassidy! Aah! Aah! Ah! Aah! Squeeze him! [ECCARIUS GRUNTING] [GROANING] [SPITS] Abomination.
I've built up quite the tolerance to tranquilizers over the years.
- Ohh! - How's yours? Aah! [GRUNTS] Ahh! Oh, shit.
[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE] ECCARIUS: Why so glum, chum? CASSIDY: No! A mouse?! Jesus Christ.
I didn't know you could do that.
Given enough time, we can do anything.
This is all my fault.
There will always be those that want to hunt us.
Well, these aren't your average vampire vigilantes.
Look, my friends These people II got mixed up with them.
And I'm sorry.
I have to go.
No, you don't.
Look, you don't understand.
They're a world-wide death cult.
And now, for whatever reason, they're coming after me.
Cassidy [SIGHS] They won't just be coming after you.
They'll be coming after us.
WOMAN OVER PA: Thank you for flying Intercontinental Airways.
Please enjoy your flight.
You're not reading it.
Well, I was gonna.
Relax, "Janie.
" You can look at the pictures when I'm done.
[SIGHS] JODY: Back it up, O'Hare.
We have now reached our cruising altitude of 35,000 feet.
Sit back, relax, and enjoy your 13-hour flight.
[SIGHS] [BELL DINGS] [SNORES] How many people have you driven to the airport? Oh, hundreds.
[EXHALES] Thank you, Eccarius.
For letting me be your emissary.
[SIGHS] Should probably get going.
[CHUCKLES] Don't wanna miss the plane.
[CHUCKLES] There is no plane.
There's never been a plane.
[VERDI OPERA PLAYS] W-What do you mean? Eccarius? Why would I send another vampire into the world? A filthy piece of vermin? Spoiling, stinking, falling into despair? But you're a vampire, too.
And I'm the worst one of all.
And that will make Genesis work? Yes.
Then I will be your Messiah? Exactly.
What if I make Genesis work and I don't want to be your Messiah? This is not the time for plots and subterfuge.
There's too much at stake.
You're going to have to trust me.
You and your industry standard lies? Custer, when you make a promise, it means something to you, yes? That's right.
Well, I want you to promise that when Genesis starts working, you won't betray me.
Kill me or force me to have sex with you.
Promise me that? And I promise I will take you to your soul.
Then I promise.
Again? Again.
HOOVER: I lost him, sir.
The vampire.
I had sun lamps and Catholics, but I let you down.
I will let you down, Hoover, into a vat of acid if you fail this mission.
- Understand? - Yes, sir.
I've got a few other ideas up my sleeve, s [BEEP] [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] [BLOWS] [CLOCK TICKING] This new color is pretty.
I like the sparkles.
You smudged the pinky toe.
Nah, didn't smudge.
[GIGGLES] This little piggy.
Miss Marie? What? Well, I wanted to what's a Genesis? It's the first book of the Bible.
Dear Christ, you're simpler than a box of empty baskets.
No, no, I know that.
I know all the Bible books.
What's a "Genesis"? Theodore Charles, where in the world did you ever hear about that? [DOOR CREAKS] [LID CREAKS] [ELEVATOR MUSIC PLAYS] Your offices? We relocated but yes.
My soul is here? In the reception area as we speak.
Waiting for your arrival.
I just want you to know, no matter what happens from here on out? I'm with you, Messiah.
Yeah, right.
But if you want your soul if we're going to make this work you are going to have to kill him.
Who? [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] Jesse Custer as requested, sir.
Thrice blessed, O Custer.