Rake US (2013) s01e05 Episode Script


Somebody saw Margaret in the lobby today.
No, no, Margaret's gone.
My father was many things.
I hated him.
I'm a car wreck after 15 years.
I'm the one who's afraid of commitment.
- Kee, you remember Bruce.
- Hi, Bruce.
Still juicin'? Mm.
My husband thinks you're the antichrist incarnate.
- Is Mikki there? - Mikki moved out.
She has your number.
If she wants to, she will use it.
Margaret! I can't believe she didn't run you over.
Are you sure you're all right? I'm okay.
Still got that explosive first step.
This Margaret lunatic, is she the one you got off that arson charge? Yeah, why would she try and run me over? Her skill set's so much better suited to burning my apartment down.
Oh, you really should consider vetting all the crazy bitches you sleep with.
Hey, you're the one I used to pay for sex.
No fair dissing the ones I slept with for free.
So this alleged assailant, Margaret Miller-- how do you know she intended to cause you harm? Well, for starters, there's the way she lined me up in her hood ornament like a gunsight.
Look, even if she wasn't trying to kill me, by coming within 100 yards of me, Miss Miller violated a preexisting restraining order.
Before you report another alleged crime, let's finish this one.
So what happened after she tried to impact you with her vehicle? She drove away.
She didn't circle back for a second attempt? That's what I would've done, Mr.
He never told you his name.
How-- She knows your name.
We're trying to take a more personal approach to the job, at the Mayor's request.
Got it.
Let's go.
No! No, I'd be more than willing to make a statement about what I saw.
Oh, I'd be happy to take your statement.
- Good.
- And then after you leave, I'd be even happier to toss it.
Because-- how did you put it at the Westside Ripper trial? The exact words escape me.
I'm part of "The corrupt, disgraceful, and fetid body that is the Los Angeles Police Department.
" Those are the words.
Guess my quotability can be a blessing and a curse.
Wish this mayor would get off my ass.
He's starting to impact the quality of my life.
Hey, um, Kee, about me showing up out of the blue-- - I want to explain.
- You don't have to apologize.
I know why you were there.
You felt bad about disappearing.
- You should feel bad-- - Okay, no.
That is not why I was there, okay? Oh.
Kee, I need your help with one of my former clients.
He's threatening me.
I don't know where else to go.
I just thought maybe you could talk to him.
Just get him to leave me alone.
This is how it's gonna be now? You disappear from my life, and then you pop back in when you need something? No, Keegan.
It's not.
Clay Randolph is one of the biggest attorneys in LA.
I go to the police, it's his story against a former prostitute's.
I'm trying to move on.
I'm trying to do something with my life.
What did he do to you? He-- he's into pain.
It used to be about his own.
Now it's more about mine.
Yeah, I know Clay Randolph.
He's a royal prick.
I'll talk to him.
Thank you.
I wasn't sure you'd want to help me after-- After you just disappeared without saying anything? No.
No apology necessary.
Papa! Ah, Ricardo.
Now, did you take care of your mother, brother, and sister while I was away? Yes, they're all dead.
I killed them.
Good boy.
But if you keep your bike like that, somebody's gonna get killed for real.
I know, I know.
Three days away from you are three days too many.
- Is everything all right? - It is now.
Two men from the police are here to see you.
About what? I don't know.
They wouldn't say.
- Alberto Rinaldi? - Yes.
Detectives Fleming and Gozonsky.
Big fan, by the way.
My wife and I went to your Santa Monica restaurant.
Your chocolate cake? - The best I ever had.
- Torta.
- Pardon? - It's called torta.
Rinaldi, we're here about a matter pertaining to a situation in Santa Barbara.
- You own a restaurant there as well? - Mm-hmm.
And he's opening another in Newport Beach.
Yes, well, we've become aware of a situation up in Santa Barbara.
You know, I had a really long drive.
Do you mind if I freshen up for a minute? Take your time.
I'll take another piece of your cake.
- Um, more coffee? - Please.
This would cost $12 in the restaurant.
He's bolting.
Alberto? Mr.
Rinaldi, you are under arrest.
- You have the right-- - Could someone please tell me what this is about? You have the right to remain silent.
I love you as much as the day I married you.
No matter what happens, you remember that.
Please don't forget that.
Very nice.
Do you say the same thing to your other wife? I love you.
I almost got run over last night, and I still thought to bring you coffee.
All right? Do we have sugar? So I don't want to hear any of that business about me being a terrible, uncaring boss.
Something wrong? Nothing gets by you, does it? I took Bevan to the airport last night.
He's gone.
Who's Evan? Bevan with a B, as in boyfriend.
Oh, okay, I'm sorry, didn't, uh, didn't ring a bell.
His firm sent him to Scotland to cover the UK and Benelux countries for two years.
Two years.
Got it.
Two years, fine.
Now Valentine's Day is around the corner, and he won't be here.
Okay, well, calm down.
You'll go and visit him.
I can't go visit him.
I'm here illegally.
You know that.
I thought you got your papers.
Do you think I'd be working for you if I had my papers? I can't expect him to be faithful for two years.
- Why not? - Because he's got a penis.
I don't like you using that word, Leanne.
What is this? Alberto Rinaldi.
He's charged with bigamy.
Of course, this is the guy who's got the restaurant over near the Third Street promenade, right? Bevan and I went there once.
There you go.
There you are.
Scottish women-- shh, you don't have a worry in the world.
- Uh, Kee? - Yeah? You know, you're actually on my hair, and it hurts.
I know, shh.
- Ow.
- I know.
Some customers can't decide between two desserts.
I tell them, "Life is short.
Order both.
" This isn't a gelato or a panna cotta, Alberto.
These are two women.
You were married to them both at the same time, which is a crime.
How could love be a crime? And why should the police or the courts care about it? This is a private matter between my wife and my wife and I.
Well, I couldn't agree with you more.
Unfortunately for you, wife number two is the niece of a Santa Barbara Superior Court judge.
Ah, your parsley is clumped.
- Aye, Chef, it is a wee bit.
- Yes.
- Sorry, Chef.
- Okay.
She's Scottish? And she's here, not Scotland, so you're good.
To create an unforgettable meal for every customer, that's my goal.
And I'd like to think I'm even more devoted when it comes to my family.
Families, technically.
How did you manage to keep the two from finding out about each other all these years? Because I never felt I had to lie or act in a duplicitous manner.
And sin-- I will not serve that.
Take it back.
Since I have two restaurants in two different cities, neither of my wives ever questioned where I was when I was away.
This is delicious, Alberto.
So small amount of people are gonna have a little problem with this bigamy issue.
Not me-- I don't judge-- but is there some sort of reasonable explanation for all this? I know you didn't forget about your Santa Monica wife when you married your Santa Barbara wife.
But I don't know.
It's a lot of driving.
Maybe you got a little confused.
How could a man forget that he's married? A lot of men have tried.
When you met Santa Barbara, why didn't you just divorce Santa Monica? Because I still loved her as much as the day we married, the day that I made her a solemn oath before God.
Why didn't you just make Santa Barbara your mistress? Colleen is a beautiful, caring woman.
Why would I ever demean her in that way? Well, Alberto, we don't have much of a legal defense here.
Unless one of these two wives had some sort of life-threatening illness that might have been exacerbated by the divorce-- Both exceptionally fit women.
The Mediterranean diet is very healthy.
Same can't be said for prison food.
- Prison? - The good news is maximum sentence for bigamy in the state of California is one year.
I'll plead that down.
You'll be back in bolognese in a couple of months.
I miss my children and my wives after a couple of days.
Try two years.
And the restaurants would suffer without me.
I rely on them to support my families.
Well, you have five kids.
Couldn't one of them watch the place? They're too young.
They're at that age where they're changing very fast.
My youngest, Trevor, this is his first season in AYSO.
I'm not missing any of his games.
Goal! Champion.
Grrr! Say hi to mama.
Hey, good job.
That was really strong.
You know that? You got-- Let me see that foot.
Look at that foot.
That's a strong foot.
Well, we may not have any facts to build a case on, but at least we have torta.
Who needs facts? Did you see Alberto's face, just kind of watching his son? I mean, the jury, they're gonna eat this up, - I'm telling you.
- Yeah, or they'll decide he's just another cheater with no regard for the sanctity of marriage.
He sanctified marriage so much, Leanne, he did it twice.
And he managed to keep two women happy at the same time.
We should be erecting a statue to this guy, not sending him to prison.
What are you doing? I valeted.
No-- hey, hey, hey! Clay Randolph's office, please.
Clay Randolph? Eek.
Hi, is Clay-Z-boy in, please? I-- Oh, right, right, lunch.
Sure, sure.
I was-- Yeah, I was ac-- I was supposed to meet him.
Oh, but-- The Literacy Luncheon, of course.
What's the address? Thank you very much.
I should be my own secretary.
"Mister Mole frowned.
Oh, sassafras and celery roots.
That's the problem'" May I help you find your nametag? Uh, yeah, here it is.
Thank you.
Mister, uh, Hardwick, you're upside down.
Um, yeah, it's okay.
Listen, I'm hoping to sit as close as possible to Clay Randolph.
Oh, Mr.
Randolph was at table three, but he left when he heard the Mayor wasn't coming.
Really? Someone should tell Mr.
Randolph we're here for the kids.
I'll go do that.
Thank you.
Hey, what are you doing here? Come sit with us and grab some food.
I lost my appetite.
You two need to dial back the PDA.
Oh, I didn't expect to see you here, Kee.
Last time you were ever involved with a charity, we were in law school, and she was a stripper.
- Wow, what a party.
- Gloria.
I am so sorry the Mayor couldn't make it.
Oh, well, you know, - uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.
- I know.
Deane, welcome to my favorite charity.
It's very nice to see you again.
You're upside down.
I certainly am.
Nice to see you too.
I welcome anyone who wants to help give the children of Los Angeles the most precious gift of all.
The gift of inflection.
"It's not easy to tell one from the other.
" - We should get to our table.
- Yes.
I know you've made quite a few enemies in this town, but do you really think changing your name to Dave Hardwick will help? Oh, we should test that out on your husband.
He's certainly in the "People who hate me" focus group.
Well, I wouldn't count on him showing up to that either.
I'm on next, Ms.
Mm, and you're gonna do great, Chaznay.
Remember, Chaznay, with feeling.
My favorite vowel is an E.
What's yours? I guess that would be I.
That's also his favorite pronoun.
And what about you? Favorite vowel? Probably O.
- O.
- O.
"I don't believe I've ever felt better.
" The end.
I hope we can continue this discussion later.
I look forward to it.
Who knows? Maybe we'll move on to consonants.
- Busy.
- Mm.
Just tidying it up.
Finn's been ignoring my texts.
Is he helping you out with this? No, you just missed him.
He went in early for some extra help.
In English, by any chance, with Miss Mullen? Yes.
And I'm glad Stacy's back to being Miss Mullen with you.
Let's hope that your brief but predictable lapse in judgment doesn't destroy their special bond.
Mm, I have a feeling it's as special as ever.
So you came all this way just to check on Finn.
He's my son.
Is it that surprising? I figure I'll pick up that box of stuff while I'm here.
Thank you.
You remember my boyfriend, Bruce.
Hey, what's going on? - How are you, Bruce? - Good to see you, Keegan.
So-- I'm sorry, we were having a private conversation here, so-- Oh, no.
No, no, no.
You-- you go right ahead.
It's cool.
Actually, you go.
We're talking.
Well, uh, why don't you pull out that dead bush now? Sure, I'll do that.
This bush here? Why didn't you ask me to take it out? I did ask you, when it died two years ago and several times since.
And each time, I got the Keegan Deane promise.
Well, I'm nothing if not a man of my word eventually.
Bruce, let me take care of this.
This thing's been driving me crazy for a long time.
No, no, no, I got it.
This is my yard, though.
I feel responsible.
I used to do this professionally, so-- Maddy, really? Guy's up here sleeping in my bed at night, all right, now he's down here pulling out my shrubs? Next thing you'll tell me is he's using my barbecue.
You son of a bitch.
I'll be right there! I got it.
- Okay.
- All right, hey.
Kee, you're getting manure on your pants.
You know what? Take the shovel, Bruce.
I'll do this myself.
All right? Take care of the bush right here.
I don't need a bunch of gardening tools.
You know what? I'll come back for it, all right? Nobody touches that bush.
Except for me.
All right? - What is your problem? - Oh, I don't know.
Why don't we start with first you telling me what's going on with you and Old MacDonald there, huh? Well, I think you lost the right to ask questions about that some time ago.
Forgive me for wanting you to still be happy.
But not that happy, right? Not too happy.
Not happier than I was when I was with you.
I don't have time to debate this right now.
My meter's running.
Plant your plants.
The reunion committee wants one of those "Blowing my own horn" personal updates.
"Ben Leon was recently named a managing partner of the entire universe.
" I know you love hiding your light under a bushel, but sometimes you gotta let it shine, sweetheart.
There better be toothpaste on that brush.
Zoe! Where's your sister? In her room crying.
Can you go do that? I'll handle the update.
- I gotta do mine anyway.
- Deal.
Come on, let's go see why Zoe's crying.
Adam hit her.
- No one likes a narc, Max.
- I know.
they don't believe _ they should have never noticed and the ones _ are the ones _ Kenny-huna.
How were the waves? Tight and tasty, brah.
You step in something? Uh, nothing more than usual.
Bad? Yeah.
Uh, courtroom five, Judge Lanning - and ADA Cole.
- Lanning and Cole.
Hang loose, Kenny.
It's the only way I hang, brah.
I know.
What's this the hell I hear about you pleading not guilty? My hands are tied, Jim.
My client wants his day in court.
Well, he is entitled, you know.
Oh, shut up, Jim.
There are better uses of even your time.
This case isn't worth five minutes.
I've got two marriage certificates and two living spouses.
When I put those two wives up on the stand, they are going to filet your client's genitals.
We know how that feels.
My client isn't contesting the facts here.
He just thinks it's ridiculous in this day and age that we be aggressively enforcing an archaic and hypocritical law.
It's like arresting consenting adults for sodomy.
The prisons would be full of them.
You know what that would lead to.
Oh, yes.
Go ahead, have a good laugh at the anal sex joke.
You always were a sophisticate.
Look, the fact is you have no defense.
Just because you don't like a law doesn't mean it's wrong.
Are you gonna say something here, or are you gonna just keep stuffing your ridiculous face? The man has no case.
For once in your weak, miserable life, show some spine.
You're absolutely right, Helen.
Proceed with your case, Keegan.
You are a weak, weak man, Jim.
And your office stinks.
to that bovine.
Still can't get the taste out of my mouth.
Rinaldi the second, did you marry Alberto Rinaldi on July 12, 2007? I did.
And did you know that Mr.
Rinaldi was already married at the time? Of course not.
He was away so much, I just assumed he was working.
What a joke.
No further questions.
But he was working, wasn't he? Not when he was at his other home with his other wife.
Colleen, in your wedding vows that you wrote, did you say to Alberto, "Marriage takes work, but it's the hardest job we'll ever love"? I didn't say it.
I sang it.
Like Celine Dion, I'm sure.
But in the years since, have you felt like Alberto's forgotten that vow song, that he's phoning it in? Coasting? No.
When he looked at me, it was like I was the only woman in the world.
But it was a lie.
Colleen, isn't it possible that when Alberto was looking at you, he was being completely sincere, and that when he was looking at the other Mrs.
Rinaldi, really looking at her, he was also being sincere? If only he'd married me first maybe he never would have gone away and started looking at someone else.
Man the lifeboats.
I think we've had enough for today.
Bailiff, find a janitor.
I think we might have a dead rat in the walls.
Yes, Your Honor.
You smell worse than usual, Deane.
Need to change deodorants.
Look, Clay, I need a little favor.
You can't afford to talk to me, much less ask for a favor.
It's a simple request.
Just stay away from Mikki.
- Oh, you mean the slut? - Don't call her that.
She's out of the business.
Just stay away.
I suppose it would make sense that a guy who's made a career out of defending garbage would stick up for that little piece of trash.
Sorry-- that little slut.
Good to catch up, Clay.
Are you okay? Hello? Good morning, sweetheart.
Sorry I missed you the other night.
Consider it practice for the next time you try and run somebody over with your car.
You're funny.
Just one of the many things I love about you.
I'm hanging up, Margaret.
Call me again, I'm calling the cops.
Oh, I don't think the cops care about you.
Not like I do.
Did you get my gift? What gift? I left it on the table.
It's just a little Valentine's Day present.
Open it.
Hey, you stay away from me.
I don't want to see you.
I don't want to hear from you.
I don't want any gifts from-- What the hell is that? Huh? It's my heart.
I have friends who had to deal with finding out about the other woman, but never the other wife.
And as the first wife, how did that make you feel when you initially learned about the other one? Angry, naturally.
How the man you thought you knew so well could betray you so completely? - Objection.
- Withdrawn.
I'm trying to move past all that.
Maybe I wasn't meeting his needs.
Maybe I failed him somehow.
Maybe I just need to try harder.
His betrayal could be the best thing that's ever happened to us.
I would like to get back to the anger, the outrage, even, that you expressed in your statement soon after he was arrested.
He made a mistake.
That's no reason to throw away or all the years ahead of us, if he'll still have me.
No further questions.
That went well, didn't it? About as well as your run for the state has, you dick.
What the hell are you doing here? Wow.
A hooker who reads.
You're one in a million, baby.
Fundamentals of property law.
Well, I guess if Keegan Deane can be a lawyer, anyone can.
Did you really think he could do anything to change our arrangement? There's no more arrangement, Clay.
This is over.
Oh, now I get it.
You don't want to see me anymore.
Why didn't you just say so? Here's a fundamental you need to learn, whore.
I say when it's over.
Not you.
Not Keegan Deane.
Got it? Yeah.
Rinaldi, have you ever read this book? A Guide To Being A Great Dad? Overruled.
You didn't even hear what I had to say.
I'm sorry.
- Thank you.
- Overruled.
A Guide To Being A Great Dad, by Mark Rast, PhD.
Have you ever read it? No, no, I don't have much time for reading.
I wouldn't think you would.
But a lot of people have read this book.
It's a best seller, and I'm gonna turn to chapter seven here, it's the "How well do you know your kid?" quiz.
Mind if I ask you a couple questions from here? No, go right ahead.
Okay, and you're under oath.
We didn't rehearse this.
I'm hearing this all for the first time.
So what is your child's favorite toy, Mr.
Rinaldi? Favorite toy from your second child from your first marriage? - Annette.
- Sure.
Her favorite toy is a little stuffed beaver that she calls Bucky.
And what's their favorite subject in school, your first child from your second marriage? Aldo.
He loves math.
Sometimes I bring him to work, and I let him calculate the sales tax on the customers' bills.
Very good, and what was the most recent event you attended for your third child from your first marriage? Last Saturday, I drove Ricardo to his soccer match in Santa Monica.
His team won.
And then I drove to the Santa Barbara Y for Gina's swim lesson, then back to LA for Annette's ballet.
I have video.
Your Honor, please? I'd like to see it.
He's a model father and husband in all but one minor respect.
- He loves his children.
- Oh! He loves his wives.
He was simply trying to escape the inevitable boredom that comes with a long-term marriage.
We certainly know about that.
- Oh, shut up.
- No, you shut up, Helen.
I have shut up for 18 years while you bellowed on like some dyspeptic musk ox.
I got so good at it that even after you had taken half of everything I owned and all my dignity, I kept shutting up.
But we are not married anymore, Helen, so I think it's time you shut up.
I'm going to eat unhealthy food, laugh at filthy jokes, and possibly even visit the occasional strip club, all without feeling the slightest hint of remorse.
Let's call it a day, shall we? _ Son of a-- Be honest with me.
Have you met someone else? Okay, good, 'cause it's already Valentine's Day in Scotland, and I got you a present, just for you.
And so are these-- Oh, Keegan! Put those things away.
Come on.
- Tell, uh-- - Bevan! That you'll sext him back.
I need some help.
Got to go.
I wuv you.
I wuv you more.
You were right about Bevan, by the way.
Nothing to worry about.
What do you need? An address.
Hi, Clay.
What the hell are you doing in here? Leslie? Leslie? Mr.
Deane has just been telling me about Mickey.
Mikki? $1,000 a week, Clay? And he'd give it in cash.
- That's a lot of money.
- And all the while, Mickey just lay there.
I came to tell you, Clay, Mikki's suffering is over.
Poor man.
He sounded so sweet.
Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell her? Well, I didn't know how.
Such a tragic story.
Man goes down to Mexico for a little skin diving, eats some bad ceviche.
Next thing you know, Guillain-Barre Syndrome.
Paralyzed and then-- There but for the grace of God.
How long did you help support him? - Well-- - Years.
This man was very generous.
You should be very proud of him.
Oh, I am.
In fact, Mikki, uh, wanted you two to have this.
What is it? I wouldn't know.
It's a Balinese god of plenty.
Even though you'll never see Mikki again, Clay, he wanted you to always have this.
Be delicate.
There you go.
Yeah, stroke it like that.
Careful, it's heavy.
By the horse.
I love it.
Kee? Scarlet? I screwed up, Kee.
What? Where are you? I'm in a really bad place.
Oh, gosh.
Oh, thank God.
I owe you one, Stan.
Let's call it even, Counselor.
If you hadn't helped me way back when, I wouldn't have these stripes.
Okay, well, thanks.
I'll pick up my car from impound tomorrow.
Sure, or I could bring it by.
- Really? - Yeah, right.
You think I'm running a valet service here? Well, you kept my record clean.
I can pick up my own car.
Hey, Scarlet.
Step away.
No questions.
Wait, stop.
It's done.
It's done.
No, no, it's not.
I don't know what kind of jack-booted violation of due process you're running here, sir, but walk away.
I am so sorry, Stan.
Don't apologize to the stormtrooper.
I want your badge and your name written down on a piece of paper, okay? You understand me? It's okay, I got this.
I'm very sorry, young lady.
Looks like this stormtrooper has some arrest forms to fill out.
I wasn't even going to be charged with a DUI.
Why did you call me? I don't know.
I couldn't call Ben.
I panicked.
I thought of you.
Okay, all right.
Take it easy.
I'm sorry about that.
I'll make this go away, all right? Just wait here.
I'm well.
In fact, I feel like which is what I plan to raise tonight for Cedars-Sinai.
And you thought that was gonna be the high point of your evening, right? I'm glad you called.
But, you know, in the future, it might be better if you let me contact you.
Marcus, ugh, still hates you.
Not that I asked.
Although I could.
He's just in the bathroom.
You just sit down.
If the Mayor keeps hating me, and we keep talking, who knows where this could lead, huh? Um, if we're not careful, we might become friends.
It would help if we were friends, 'cause I have to ask your help with something.
Oh, well, then let's say we're friends.
What can I do to help? Somebody close to me is in trouble.
If you can make one call, I'd be forever in your debt.
Well that's a debt I very much look forward to collecting.
Where'd you find this derelict? Was he in the middle of one of his karaoke crawls? I got picked up for a DUI.
DUI? How could you-- You don't drive drunk.
I mean, you're never drunk.
It's fine.
I took care of it.
I had a Martini on an empty stomach.
You okay? God, that must have been scary.
Have a seat.
I saved you some salmon.
Are the kids asleep? I was just about to check on them.
Come on, Scarlet.
Everybody's halo slips now and then.
Don't beat yourself up over this.
I can't do it anymore, Kee.
I just can't.
Do what? My marriage.
Red, what happened? Was it Ben? Ben's a saint.
Well, what? Listen, marriages go through this.
All right? This is a phase.
You sure you're okay? She's fine.
The booking officer went all "Scared Straight" on her.
I just need to take a shower.
That's a good idea.
You need help killing that? I don't think Scarlet's gonna have a nightcap.
I can't do this anymore, Kee.
What the hell is going on here tonight? I've given it a lot of thought.
It's not working for me.
I-- You guys are rock solid.
I wanted it to look that way, but now that my father's gone-- Has this house gone insane? What is up with you two? You two who? You and-- What are you talking about? The firm.
Working there.
I can't do it anymore.
I gotta sit down.
I always knew the other lawyers didn't take me seriously, but now that he's gone, they don't even try to hide it.
- Okay.
- I mean, I'm sorry I'm not my father, but I do have value.
Benny, take it easy.
Try and keep it in perspective, all right? Things could be a lot worse.
Thank God I have Scarlet.
- I should go.
- She's my rock.
The things we've built together, that's what really matters, right? Yeah.
The kids, our life.
I gotta go.
You can't stay for a bit? I didn't even offer you a drink.
Yeah, no, I'm gonna-- I'm gonna take off.
It's 21-year-old scotch.
When have I ever said no to a 21-year-old anything? Our country's marriage rate is at the lowest it's been in over a century.
Half of all legal unions now end in divorce.
Which half? Might as well flip a coin.
Alberto Rinaldi, that man right over there, he embraced the dying institution of matrimony.
He was, by all accounts, a loving husband.
Now, he could have had a divorce with Fiona or a sordid little affair with Colleen up there in Santa Barbara, but instead, he did the honorable thing, the thing that they both wanted.
He married them.
And now Ms.
Cole would like to incarcerate him.
And I'm going to ask that you-- Your Honor.
If I may interrupt the sermon on the mount, some new information has just been brought to my attention.
Who's she? Three wives? Come on, man! Stop marrying people! - I can't help it.
- And I can't help you.
This marriage fetish of yours, Alberto, it just blew our case.
Santa Monica, Santa Barbara-- That's not enough? You had to go to Newport Beach? Oh, the third restaurant.
Huh? Yeah, of course.
How didn't I see it? There's a pattern here.
A wife for each restaurant.
God help you if you ever go national.
Stella means just as much to me as my other two wives.
Well, I'm sure she does, but just help me understand this, Alberto.
Who in their right mind would want to spend this much time on the 405? Oh, bummer! - Oh, thank you.
- Yeah.
Thanks, man.
Yeah, no, I'll meet you there.
Yeah, me too.
Believe that guy's still surfing? It's inspiring.
How does he not just paddle in circles? God.
My heart goes out to the guy.
He has a heart.
He needs an arm.
Oh, hey, I heard about the verdict.
That's a tough break, third wife popping up.
Guess there's no such thing as a bulletproof marriage, right? Even if you got three of 'em.
Listen, about that.
Can we just forget what I said the other night? - Just forget about it? Really? - Yeah.
I think it was the booze talking.
But anyway, everything is fine.
Well, I'm really happy to hear that.
You have no idea.
I thought you were just gonna talk to Clay Randolph.
That's all I did.
- Really? - Might have given him one of those.
Yeah, 'cause word is someone beat the crap out of him in the lobby of One California.
Oh, my God.
I can't imagine anybody doing that to such a warm, affable fellow.
Yeah, I can't imagine what that person did next when Clay didn't take the hint.
I hope whatever it was worked.
It did.
Thank you.
You wanna get dinner? It's Valentine's Day.
You're assuming I don't have plans? I'm just asking.
Thank you.
No, I-I better not.
I'm not asking you as a friend.
Yeah, that's my concern.
I'm asking you as a public service.
I know a little Italian restaurant.
Head chef won't be on tonight, but it'll be busy, full of people enjoying the most romantic night of the year.
And I'll be ruining it for 'em, sitting there all alone bringing the room down.
Do you really want that on your conscience? You're in luck.
'Twas the last piece.
- You're from Scotland.
- Mm-hmm.
I know somebody who just moved there.
Oh, really? What's his name? Um uh