Raven's Home (2017) s02e01 Episode Script

The Falcon and The Raven (1)

1 Raven: I'm busy! Oh, not again! Oh, not again! Yep, ever since she made that $10,000, she's been spendin' a lot more time than usual in there.
Yeah, I know, right? She sells one jacket and she thinks she's the queen of the bathroom! (English accent) That's because I am! Aw, again? I'm gonna go use Tess's bathroom! Tess? Why don't you use your own bathroom? I like a challenge.
Woo-hoo-ooh! Ooh, ooh-hoo! A conga line, huh? Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah! Bah, bah! Mom, the pee-pee line's up to five! - Raven: It's unlocked! - What? All: Whoa! Look at all that money! All my money! (laughing) Oh! Yeah, let me tell you something Had my vision all worked out, but then life had other plans Tell 'em Rae - It's crazy when things turn upside down But you gotta get up and take that chance Maybe I'm just finding my way - Learning how to fly - Yeah, we're gonna be okay - You know I got you, right? It might be wild, but you knw that we make it work We're just kids caught up in a crazy world, come on - It's Raven's Home - We get loud - It's Raven's Home - It's our crowd It might be tough, but together we make it look good Down for each other like family should - It's Raven's Home - When it's tough - It's Raven's Home - We got love 'Cause no matter the weather, you know we gon' shine There for each other, you know it's our time (laughs) Yep, that's us.
Did you see all of that money? Yeah, the only thing better than lookin' at it is helpin' her spend it.
She gonna let us spend it, right? Yeah, we're her kids.
She just wants to make us happy.
And if we're happy, she's happy, so, if she doesn't give us that money, she's really only hurtin' herself.
So, what are you gonna buy to make Mom happy? Nia, I'm a simple man, with simple needs.
I'm thinkin' a zipline! From my bedroom to the refrigerator! - Boh-bah-day! - Ah-ha! Love the zipline, but I'm gonna go in a slightly different direction.
Let me guess.
You're gonna use your money on some needy cause.
Yeah! Me! 'Cause I needy me a new 'fit.
Both: Hey! Hey, that that was our thing! Well, I'm gonna invest my share in stocks.
Stocks, shmocks, I'm gonna get dental work.
You have cavities? No, I want a diamond.
Right here, so when I smile, it pings! Guys, you can have fun imagining, but remember, it's not your money, it's Both: Our money! Not our money, my money! What? Come on, Mom, we're your kids! Exactly.
Which is why you should repeat after me: - My - Both: My - Muh - Muh - Nee.
- Nee.
My money, which I have plans for, thank you very much.
What kind of plans? Nunya plans.
Which means nunya business.
That's why I hid it in a place you'll never suspect.
I suspect it's under the towel.
Why are you here? Why am I ever here? Another good question.
And, no, it's not under the towel.
- It's under the towel.
- Yeah.
Well, now we know where our money is.
Your money? I think she was pretty clear with that "my muh-neee" thing.
Hey, I'm not worried.
Mom will come around and give us some.
Oh, no! Our money is gone! Oh, no! I just had a vision of Mom saying she lost the money! What? How? I don't know, but that's what she said! In that case, I'm out.
Now I gotta find a new way to pay for my tooth diamond! Booker, this is bad.
You need to tell Mom what you saw.
No way.
Then I have to admit I have visions.
Well, maybe it's about time you did.
Look, you know Mom.
She's not gonna understand, and what she doesn't understand, she tries to fix.
Remember when I had those two pointy teeth that made me look like a vampire? - No.
- Exactly! 'Cause she had 'em filed down! Me, I loved my fangs.
I didn't even need the little straw to open up a juice box.
I just (hisses) Anyway, I'm not telling her about my visions.
They're they're like my superpower.
Oh, so you're a superhero? Well, I may be a little early in my career, but yes.
Look, Nia, I I know I always talk about having game, but my visions actually up my game.
And I'm not lettin' Mom take that away from me.
Fine, but if you're not gonna tell her, then we've gotta do something to make sure this vision never comes true.
She can't lose that money.
- Our money.
- Her money.
- Her money.
- Right! That we're gonna get some of.
Both: Ah! (sniffs) (sighs) - Hey, Rae.
- Hey.
So, you have any plans for all that money, or are you just gonna keep takin' baths with it? Don't knock a money bath till you tried it, Chels.
So you don't have a plan.
I have a plan.
I always have a plan.
When have you known me not to have a plan, Chels? I don't have a plan! I don't! I'm slipping thousands of dollars into a pink backpack! Pinky! Pinky is my plan! Oh, hey! It's okay, chill! You don't have to figure this all out today.
- Right? - Right.
With all this cash, and your new job as a Scut driver, and my new urban garden, you can relax.
Mmm, what does your dirty garden have to do with anything? Planting is very therapeutic.
Ugh, see, there's three things I hate: Lookin' at dirt, diggin' dirt, and talkin' about dirt.
Oh, is this still about that dirt pie I made you eat when we were 10? Yes, Chels! And I can still taste it! All I know is that this money is gonna give me a second chance to do something with my life, you know? I can do anything.
I can I can start a fashion line.
- Mm-hm.
- Just just somethin' to help my kids.
You know? So until I can get to the bank on Monday, I have to keep this money safe.
Oh Scut, I gotta get to work.
Oh gosh, and I gotta get to the gardening store.
Anything you want me to pick up while I'm there? Uh an application.
Wow, look at you, wanting to work two jobs! No, no I just want you to work one.
Okay all we have to do is wait for Mom to go to work, and then we'll take the money and hide it so we can't lose it.
See? This is where my zipline would come in handy.
We could zip in and zip out! Yeah, yeah, yeah! But, no, no, no.
Because at some point, after you zip in, you gotta zip off, grab the money, - zip back on - Ooh-ooh-ooh! - And then zip out! - Would you two just zip it? I like your hat, Mom.
And yours.
Why are you all loiterin' outside my door? - Hmm.
- We're, uh We're hall walking.
Yeah! Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Levi is about to take his hall monitor's exam, - and he needs practice.
- Oh.
Okay! You two, back to class! Oh! That was great, honey.
I almost went to class.
Chels, are you really buyin' this? Yes, Rae, yes, I am.
Well, I know you're all up to something, but I gotta go.
- Goodbye.
- All righty.
Let's find the money and get out.
Now, if I were $10,000, where would I be? If you were smart, you'd be in a mutual fund that provides long-term earning potential.
Yeah, I'm gonna go with the bra drawer.
Wait, wait.
Before we start looking, we should take a picture, so we know exactly how to put things back.
That's ridiculous.
I think we'll remember where things were.
The money's not here! Not here, either! Not here, either! Wait wait, Mom was wearing her pink backpack when she left.
What if she put the money in there? Well, if she did, my vision's gonna come true, and our money's as good as gone! No, we can't let that happen.
Mom is counting on that money.
I'm sorry, Booker, but you're gonna have to tell Mom about your vision.
Booker, I'm serious.
You have to call Mom right now.
Okay, fine.
Hey, Mom? I I have something to tell you I'm psychic.
Woman (recording): Today's movie times are 4:10, 7:30 Wow.
Looks like Mom got a new job as a movie phone operator.
Look, Nia, I I'm not tellin' her.
And you've gotta have my back on this.
I got your back, but we have to have Mom's back too and rescue that money.
Let's go! But first we gotta put this room back together.
It's a good thing you took that before photo.
You told me not to! Since when do you listen to me? Okay, all right.
We just have to figure out a way to track down Mom.
I got two words zip line.
Yeah, zipline is one word.
I wasn't finished.
Zipline across the city, hypens in between "across", "the", and "city", making it all one word.
Boom! Or we could use the Scut tracking app on my phone, locate Mom's car, and take the money when she's not looking.
Boom! I like her "boom" better.
Let's just go! Okay, we'wve really gotta clean this room! Hello, welcome to your Scut ride.
I'm your Scut-er, Raven.
Uh-uh, you can't get in this car with that greasy pizza.
Unless you give me a slice.
Where you goin'? Wait, where you goin'? That's okay.
I don't like grease anyway.
Dang, I lied.
I love grease.
I should really start eating breakfast.
Who wants to grow big and strong for Mama? - I know you do.
- Are you talkin' to that tomato? Yes.
Yes, I am.
Talking to plants really helps them grow.
Uh, well, maybe you should spend less time talkin' to plants and more time talkin' to Levi.
Bada-boom! (laughs) I see what you did there.
And bada don't do it again.
Hey! Since you're up here, why don't you help me garden, huh? Oh, sorry, I came up to hoop, not scoop.
Hoop? Hey, hey.
What if your ball lands in my garden? Good point, you should probably move your garden someplace else.
Or you should probably go to the park and play hoop, hmm? Well, I'm not goin' to the park.
Well, I'm not movin' my garden.
Well, looks like we've got ourselves a situation.
Hmm, yeah, well, I do see you have a ball in your hand.
Let's see if you're any good at it.
Winner rules the roof, all right? If you win, I stay out of your way.
If I win, you have to help me garden.
(laughs) You're challenging me? Well, I'm not talkin' to my to-mah-toes.
Hey, welcome to your Scut ride.
I'm your Scut-er Raven! Actually, it's a falcon.
Oh, well, that's great, I don't do birds.
Oh, all right, well, I'll just take my bird, and my leftover meatloaf and go Wait, now hold up, now, hold up, you got meatloaf? - Mm-hm.
- Your bird can stay if you give me a little nibble of that loaf.
- Long as he doesn't hurt me.
- Oh, don't worry, you'll be fine.
As long as you don't look Ernesto in the eyes.
Okay, no problem.
Are you looking him in the eyes right now? No! No, no, no, no, no.
Loaf me.
(falcon screeches) The Raven is on the move.
She just made a right turn down a one way street? No, that's a That's a sidewalk! Why is she driving like that? I told you not to look him in the eyes! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! It looks like she's coming this way! Yeah, if she doesn't drive into the river! Okay, there's a stop sign on the corner, that's when we make our move.
Well, let's save that money! You think that try-hard outfit's gonna help? I don't need any help, all right? Just give me the rock.
Yeah! Who are you? They call me the Tomato Tornado.
- (falcon screeches) - Aah! Okay! Okay! You, the bird, not the meatloaf, get out! You can't let me out here! This is a dangerous neighborhood! This is my neighborhood! Well, then, you should get out! - Aah! Oh! Ooh! - (screeching) (screams) Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out, now! - (screeching) - (screaming) If you and that bird don't get out this car, I'm gonna roll this window down and both of y'all are flyin' out! Don't you dare lower that window! Keep your hands where I can see them! Okay! Okay! Ernesto, no! (Ernesto screeching) You just made the wrong enemy, lady! I'm not scared of you.
Oh, not me Ernesto! Who has got the backpack? Both: You do! You do! Who has got sweet ninja moves? Both: You do! You do! Who forgot to tie his shoes? I did! I did! Okay.
Now we need to figure out where to hide it so Mom can't find it and lose it.
Oh! I got it! How about under her bed? That's the first place she'll look.
Okay, well, then, how about under your mom's bed? My mom's bed is under your mom's bed.
Okay, guys, it should be someplace she's not going to look.
Someplace she hates.
Oh! I got it.
How about the bathroom after I've been in it? Yeah, someplace she hates, but can still breathe.
This is perfect! We'll bury it in the dirt.
Mom hates dirt.
What's goin' on over there? Oh, just my mom schooling Tess.
They call me the Bus Driver, 'cause I take the kids to school.
What? See? The things I do for meatloaf.
Oh, yeah.
Every little nibble, nibble, nibble.
Where's my backpack? Pinky? Pinky? Pinky! Pinky! Pinky! Turn the oven down low, and get ready to take the mushroom quiche out, because you are done! What? What? What? What? What? Let's go! Maybe we should wait.
She's makin' mushroom quiche! It's very good.
It's the one thing she can cook.
Hey, Quiche Club, meeting's over! Back it up, back it up.
Oh! Look! Man, I should've had a dance contest! Oh, honey, you would've lost that, too! What? Yeah! Happy gardening! What? Aah! Pinky! Pinky, where are you? Who took you, Pinky? (growls) Ernesto.
I'm comin' for you, Ernesto! - We did it! Mom's money is safe and sound! - Zipline, here we come! Both: Ah! And, hey! You didn't even have to tell Mom you're psychic, Mr.
Yeah, but I I still wish I had my fangs, I I was literally this close to being a psychic vampire.
I "vant" to see your future.
How does she ball like that? Red-headed, long-armed, tomato-talkin' freak! What was that? All: Pinky! How did Pinky get thrown off the roof? It doesn't matter.
We just need to get Pinky out of that cement before it dries.
Come on! - Nice carrots, Mom! - Thanks.
Oh, no! We are gonna get in so much trouble! No, no, no, we're fine, as long as we can get it out before the cement dries.
Aah! How? It's too far away for one of us to reach it.
But not for all three of us.
Why am I always on the end of the human chain? 'Cause you're the lightest.
I really gotta start bulkin' up.
Got it! Raven: Stupid, nasty bird! - (gasps) - Both: Mom! - Hey, kids.
- Hi, Mom.
What's good? Okay, what's goin' on? Nothin'.
Nothin', just enjoyin' the outdoors.
You always say go play outside.
I also say go clean your room, but you never do that.
Uh, Ma Ma, are you okay? You got a little crazy in your eye.
If you must know, Pinky got stolen.
- Oh, no! - Not Pinky.
- Who'd do such a thing? - I know exactly who! - You do? - I do.
This Thievin' dirty I'm sorry! About what? Sorry I cut you off! You were saying? I was saying that this falcon named Ernesto stole Pinky! You should go report this to the bird police.
Oh, yeah.
Or Or the F-Beak-I.
(all laughing) I know y'all are up to somethin', all right? I just gotta go.
Mother nature's callin'.
Oh, you gotta go to the bathroom? No, it's Chelsea, the urban gardener.
Oh, wow.
I I can't believe we actually got away with that.
Did we? Did we really? The Bus Driver, where does she come up with that? Well, looks who's talkin' to tomatoes now.
If there's one thing I hate more than dirt, it's Ernesto! Having man trouble, Ms.
B? Ernesto's a bird, ya nosey.
I can't believe that feathered raccoon came into my car and stole Pinky! Have a tiny asparagus, Rae.
It really helps with the stress, huh? Now, let's use some of your mom's tools to chisel you outta there before they find out That we're making the Statue of Levi for them! Levi, what happened, honey, are you okay? Is that Pinky in there? Rae, that's not nice.
He's very sensitive to the sun.
Not your pale kid, my backpack, get back.
Can somebody explain this, please? I got my own problems.
- We, uh - Kind of stole your backpack.
Why would you steal my backpack? Because we knew you were gonna lose it.
How could you possibly know that? - Uh - How could you possibly know that, Booker? Nia? Hello! - Mom, I I - He means "we.
" No, Nia I got this.
Mom this is not on her.
And it's not "we.
" It's me.
I knew you were gonna lose the backpack because I had a vision.
I'm sorry, what'd you just say? You had a vision? Yeah, I I get a lot of 'em.
I I'm psychic.
And it's not something you can fix, or or file down, or change.
It's who I am, Mom.
And I like it.
He thinks he's a superhero.
It sounds dumb when she says it, but I kinda am.
Oh, my baby has visions.
- Did you hear that, Chels? - Yeah, I heard it.
My baby has visions.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
You're happy, Mom? Yes, I'm happy about this! You have visions! Oh, now we both Kind of know where Pinky could be! - What? Tell them, Rae.
- No.
- But you have to tell - I don't have to tell them anything.
- Are you crazy? - Mom! Tell us what?
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