Regular Show (2010) s01e07 Episode Script
Grilled Cheese Deluxe
Mordecai, Mordecai! Oh, there you are.
You want half of this grilled cheese? Is that a grilled cheese deluxe from Cheezer's? Yes it is.
Then, yes.
How did you manage this? I bought it.
With money.
Nice! You know what would go good with these sandwiches? Funny internet videos! Dude, check this out.
No, wait! I know a really good one.
No, man! Youâre just gonna pull up that ostrich thing with the balls again.
No, Iâm not.
Youâre typing it in! I see it! Dude, donât look! Youâre gonna ruin it! Fine.
It better not be that ostrich thing with the balls.
Ready yet? Itâs loading.
.
Okay.
.
Now! Donât get too close now, pa! Man, itâs that ostrich thing with the balls! Why do you gotta lie to me, dude? âCause lyingâs my specialty! What are you doing with my sandwich?! What?! Donât worry.
Iâll take care of this with my specialty.
This isnât you sandwich.
This is our sandwich.
This is your sandwich, ha? Then how come it says "Benson" on the bag? Itâs supposed to say "Rigby," but they misspelled my name wrong.
STOP LYING!! Dude, I thought you said you bought this! No, he didnât buy it! Now get off you lazy butts and go get me another Grilled Cheese Deluxe!! You ruined our day off! Donât worry, dude.
The line won't be that long.
Thanks for saving the day with your specialty, you idiot! Whatever.
Like you could do any better.
Iâm a better liar than you are.
Oh, really? The only thing youâre better than me that is being a big piece of What the.
.
? Those pork loins are cuttinâ! Excuse me! Those fine men are astronauts! They can cut in line.
They fought for our country! Dude, hereâs your chance to prove youâre a better liar than me.
Or maybe you canât? Look at your face.
It must really chew up inside inept be able to prove youâre a better liar than me! âCause you can prove nothing! You.
Canât.
Prove.
Anything! Fine! You want me to prove Iâm a better liar than you? Why donât we see who is better in lying? Whoever gets caught first loses! Okay.
Itâs not like youâre ever gonna lie better than this.
.
! Excuse me, Miss.
What?! We are astronauts! Bam! I told you Iâm a better liar than you! Step aside! Iâll show you how a real man lie.
Hey, baby! Give me a Grilled Cheese Deluxe and make it snappy âcause weâre astronauts and we gotta get back up in space! Know what Iâm sayinâ? Oh, my! One Grilled Cheese Deluxe for the astronauts.
Thatâll be two fifty.
BAM! Thatâs a moon quarter! See? Dude, that was lame! Excuse me, sir! Your Grilled Cheese is ready.
Thanks.
We gotta get this back to our astronaut captain.
Know what Iâm sayinâ? Is that your astronaut captain over there? This is the guy! Youâre the guy? I'm.
.
Iâm the guy.
.
Well! Itâs an honor to meet you, captain! Lieutenant Riggs has told us a lot about you.
Itâs great to meet a couple of real fellow astronauts.
So what are you guys doing in this dump hole, anyways? You know.
We just picked up a Grilled Cheese for our commanding officer.
I hear that! We were just getting ready to take it back to the compound.
Compound? We were just getting ready to go there ourselves! Wanna lift? Sure.
Weâll take a ride to the compound.
Come to think of it, why havenât we seen you around the compound before? Weâve just got back from the 10 years stand in the old shuttlecraft.
Isnât that right, captain Mordecai? And weâve just transferred here.
Itâs our first day.
Welcome! Weâll be glad to show you around! Now I hope youâre up to spend a 2.
5 million dollars of taxpayersâ money, âcause weâre drivinâ! Gentlemen, welcome to the compound! I forgot my ID in my other pants.
Can you help me out, guys? What? That was my ID! I told you not to lose it! Guys, guys, calm down! You can use our IDs! Here.
You guys might be more comfortable in these.
Thanks! I love these things, but captain Mordecai might not be very up to them.
Donât you like the uniforms in pink? Pink?! I only had to borrow pair that one time from.
.
Doctor.
.
Asinoskovich.
That one time.
You know Dr.
Asinoskovich? Thatâs funny.
Because sheâs right here! I donât remember you! Really? It was one time at that conference.
You donât remember me? I.
.
donât remember very much from that conference.
I have to go! That was awkward! Now come on! Weâll give you the grand tour! Dude, you should quit right now.
Youâre totally gonna get caught! Weâll see.
Man! I donât think you could last much longer! I think you should give it up! You'll not undo me.
Then I guess itâs time when I start lying at one hundred percent! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?! And what tour would be complete without a stop at the the pride of our compound the antimatter chamber! How is she running today, Jimmy? Actually, sir.
.
Thereâve been some problems maintaining safe levels of Thatâs fate.
I donât understand a half of that these science types say.
Thatâs too bad.
Captain hereâs an expert on it! Youâre an expert on antimatter? Yeah.
.
But not compared to how much this guy knows! Did you know he wrote a book on it? We wrote a book on it! But you did the most of the work on it! But your nameâs on the cover! Right next yours! Above mine! Jimmy, knock off that beepinâ! Actually sir, Iâm having trouble with.
.
Trouble? Well, these guys are experts! Can you lend a hand, fellows? Sure, we can! Go ahead, captain! Well.
.
according to the book lieutenant Rigby wrote, you wanna turn that knob there.
But captainâs own research really outdates mine.
So turn that knob over there! But heâs forgetting the recent discoveries he made! Put those switches! Discoveries based on his studies.
.
Hit those buttons! I never said hit those buttons! Jimmy! Youâre not doing like captain Mordecai said! You gotta do it like this! Dude, quit! Youâre gonna break it! No, youâre gonna break it! Whatâs all this commotion? Major Williams? Sir! We were just showing these new transfers around the compound, sir! Captain Mordecai! Lieutenant Riggs! The antimatter is becoming unstable! Captain Mordecai, Lieutenant Riggs! You can fix it, right? Yes! Lieutenant Riggs can totally fix it! Not without captainâs help! No time for modesty! Dude, this is all your fault! What?! Youâre the one who wonât admit that you sucked at lying! âCause I donât! Why wouldnât you give up and tell âem whatâs going on so they can help us?! No! You do it! No way! Fine! Whatâs the holdup? Look.
I have to tell you the truth.
I have a condition that makes me forget everything in times of extreme stress.
Lieutenant Riggs doesnât have that condition.
Heâs just an idiot.
Lieutenant Riggs doesnât have that condition.
Heâs just an idiot.
We need you tell us what to do! Jimmy, what do we do? They have to penetrate the anti-nucleus with something solid! Right! Listen up! You have one chance of this thing! You have to throw Lieutenant Riggs into the anti-nucleus! WHAT?! Itâs the only way! Captain Mordecai is too big for you to throw.
You must sacrifice yourself to save thousands of lives, lieutenant! NO!! Donât listen to him, Mordecai! DONâT DO IT!! Do it! Throw him in! THROW HIM IN!! Please! No! No! Throw him now! NOW!! Iâm sorry! Iâm sorry for lying! You win, okay?! I wonât lie anymore! Itâs too late, Rigby! I canât let everybody die because of us! NO!! You thought I was gonna throw you in? I told you Iâm a better liar than you.
Bensonâs Grilled Cheese! You better hope this works! Rigby! Weâre not astronauts.
If you ever lie about being astronauts again, YOUâRE DEAD!! We saved the city, astro.
.
Where have you been? Iâve been waiting all day! What the.
.
? What happened to my sandwich?! There were spacemen! At Cheezerâs! And the two.
.
we went down and.
.
everyone wore sweatpants.
.
even us.
.
and then the room with the bad stuff.
.
but.
.
We saved the city with your sandwich! Why do you always have to lie to my face? We ran it over by accident.
See? Was it so hard to tell the truth?
You want half of this grilled cheese? Is that a grilled cheese deluxe from Cheezer's? Yes it is.
Then, yes.
How did you manage this? I bought it.
With money.
Nice! You know what would go good with these sandwiches? Funny internet videos! Dude, check this out.
No, wait! I know a really good one.
No, man! Youâre just gonna pull up that ostrich thing with the balls again.
No, Iâm not.
Youâre typing it in! I see it! Dude, donât look! Youâre gonna ruin it! Fine.
It better not be that ostrich thing with the balls.
Ready yet? Itâs loading.
.
Okay.
.
Now! Donât get too close now, pa! Man, itâs that ostrich thing with the balls! Why do you gotta lie to me, dude? âCause lyingâs my specialty! What are you doing with my sandwich?! What?! Donât worry.
Iâll take care of this with my specialty.
This isnât you sandwich.
This is our sandwich.
This is your sandwich, ha? Then how come it says "Benson" on the bag? Itâs supposed to say "Rigby," but they misspelled my name wrong.
STOP LYING!! Dude, I thought you said you bought this! No, he didnât buy it! Now get off you lazy butts and go get me another Grilled Cheese Deluxe!! You ruined our day off! Donât worry, dude.
The line won't be that long.
Thanks for saving the day with your specialty, you idiot! Whatever.
Like you could do any better.
Iâm a better liar than you are.
Oh, really? The only thing youâre better than me that is being a big piece of What the.
.
? Those pork loins are cuttinâ! Excuse me! Those fine men are astronauts! They can cut in line.
They fought for our country! Dude, hereâs your chance to prove youâre a better liar than me.
Or maybe you canât? Look at your face.
It must really chew up inside inept be able to prove youâre a better liar than me! âCause you can prove nothing! You.
Canât.
Prove.
Anything! Fine! You want me to prove Iâm a better liar than you? Why donât we see who is better in lying? Whoever gets caught first loses! Okay.
Itâs not like youâre ever gonna lie better than this.
.
! Excuse me, Miss.
What?! We are astronauts! Bam! I told you Iâm a better liar than you! Step aside! Iâll show you how a real man lie.
Hey, baby! Give me a Grilled Cheese Deluxe and make it snappy âcause weâre astronauts and we gotta get back up in space! Know what Iâm sayinâ? Oh, my! One Grilled Cheese Deluxe for the astronauts.
Thatâll be two fifty.
BAM! Thatâs a moon quarter! See? Dude, that was lame! Excuse me, sir! Your Grilled Cheese is ready.
Thanks.
We gotta get this back to our astronaut captain.
Know what Iâm sayinâ? Is that your astronaut captain over there? This is the guy! Youâre the guy? I'm.
.
Iâm the guy.
.
Well! Itâs an honor to meet you, captain! Lieutenant Riggs has told us a lot about you.
Itâs great to meet a couple of real fellow astronauts.
So what are you guys doing in this dump hole, anyways? You know.
We just picked up a Grilled Cheese for our commanding officer.
I hear that! We were just getting ready to take it back to the compound.
Compound? We were just getting ready to go there ourselves! Wanna lift? Sure.
Weâll take a ride to the compound.
Come to think of it, why havenât we seen you around the compound before? Weâve just got back from the 10 years stand in the old shuttlecraft.
Isnât that right, captain Mordecai? And weâve just transferred here.
Itâs our first day.
Welcome! Weâll be glad to show you around! Now I hope youâre up to spend a 2.
5 million dollars of taxpayersâ money, âcause weâre drivinâ! Gentlemen, welcome to the compound! I forgot my ID in my other pants.
Can you help me out, guys? What? That was my ID! I told you not to lose it! Guys, guys, calm down! You can use our IDs! Here.
You guys might be more comfortable in these.
Thanks! I love these things, but captain Mordecai might not be very up to them.
Donât you like the uniforms in pink? Pink?! I only had to borrow pair that one time from.
.
Doctor.
.
Asinoskovich.
That one time.
You know Dr.
Asinoskovich? Thatâs funny.
Because sheâs right here! I donât remember you! Really? It was one time at that conference.
You donât remember me? I.
.
donât remember very much from that conference.
I have to go! That was awkward! Now come on! Weâll give you the grand tour! Dude, you should quit right now.
Youâre totally gonna get caught! Weâll see.
Man! I donât think you could last much longer! I think you should give it up! You'll not undo me.
Then I guess itâs time when I start lying at one hundred percent! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT?! And what tour would be complete without a stop at the the pride of our compound the antimatter chamber! How is she running today, Jimmy? Actually, sir.
.
Thereâve been some problems maintaining safe levels of Thatâs fate.
I donât understand a half of that these science types say.
Thatâs too bad.
Captain hereâs an expert on it! Youâre an expert on antimatter? Yeah.
.
But not compared to how much this guy knows! Did you know he wrote a book on it? We wrote a book on it! But you did the most of the work on it! But your nameâs on the cover! Right next yours! Above mine! Jimmy, knock off that beepinâ! Actually sir, Iâm having trouble with.
.
Trouble? Well, these guys are experts! Can you lend a hand, fellows? Sure, we can! Go ahead, captain! Well.
.
according to the book lieutenant Rigby wrote, you wanna turn that knob there.
But captainâs own research really outdates mine.
So turn that knob over there! But heâs forgetting the recent discoveries he made! Put those switches! Discoveries based on his studies.
.
Hit those buttons! I never said hit those buttons! Jimmy! Youâre not doing like captain Mordecai said! You gotta do it like this! Dude, quit! Youâre gonna break it! No, youâre gonna break it! Whatâs all this commotion? Major Williams? Sir! We were just showing these new transfers around the compound, sir! Captain Mordecai! Lieutenant Riggs! The antimatter is becoming unstable! Captain Mordecai, Lieutenant Riggs! You can fix it, right? Yes! Lieutenant Riggs can totally fix it! Not without captainâs help! No time for modesty! Dude, this is all your fault! What?! Youâre the one who wonât admit that you sucked at lying! âCause I donât! Why wouldnât you give up and tell âem whatâs going on so they can help us?! No! You do it! No way! Fine! Whatâs the holdup? Look.
I have to tell you the truth.
I have a condition that makes me forget everything in times of extreme stress.
Lieutenant Riggs doesnât have that condition.
Heâs just an idiot.
Lieutenant Riggs doesnât have that condition.
Heâs just an idiot.
We need you tell us what to do! Jimmy, what do we do? They have to penetrate the anti-nucleus with something solid! Right! Listen up! You have one chance of this thing! You have to throw Lieutenant Riggs into the anti-nucleus! WHAT?! Itâs the only way! Captain Mordecai is too big for you to throw.
You must sacrifice yourself to save thousands of lives, lieutenant! NO!! Donât listen to him, Mordecai! DONâT DO IT!! Do it! Throw him in! THROW HIM IN!! Please! No! No! Throw him now! NOW!! Iâm sorry! Iâm sorry for lying! You win, okay?! I wonât lie anymore! Itâs too late, Rigby! I canât let everybody die because of us! NO!! You thought I was gonna throw you in? I told you Iâm a better liar than you.
Bensonâs Grilled Cheese! You better hope this works! Rigby! Weâre not astronauts.
If you ever lie about being astronauts again, YOUâRE DEAD!! We saved the city, astro.
.
Where have you been? Iâve been waiting all day! What the.
.
? What happened to my sandwich?! There were spacemen! At Cheezerâs! And the two.
.
we went down and.
.
everyone wore sweatpants.
.
even us.
.
and then the room with the bad stuff.
.
but.
.
We saved the city with your sandwich! Why do you always have to lie to my face? We ran it over by accident.
See? Was it so hard to tell the truth?