Regular Show (2010) s01e08 Episode Script
The Unicorns Have Got to Go
Subtitle by: Demonoic.
Here're you guys, enjoy.
Nothing beats drinkin' joe with my bro! Right, Mordecai? What? Yeeeeeaaahh.
Dude, Dude! Margaret totally just smiled at me.
No she didn't.
Yes she did.
Then why don't you ask her out? It's not that easy.
You wouldn't understand.
I wouldn't understand.
Probably 'cos I'm too busy drinking joe with my bro like we came here to do in the first place, remember? Wait.
I once was lost, but now.
.
I'm found.
DudeTime, for men.
What kind of loser would want a bunch of chicks tearing their clothes off? Right, Mordecai? Mordecai.
Hey Margaret.
Didn't notice you there.
Gee Mordecai, I don't think I've ever realized how awesome you are.
And you smell great too.
Mordecai.
Mordecai.
Mordecai? Mordecai? Dude.
I'm buying that cologne.
Why? You said you would chip in for that awesome new game.
I'm John.
I'm also John.
We're the Strong Johns! Strong Johns, Strong Johns! You have to buy Strong Johns! Strong Johns, Strong Johns! You gotta buy Strong Johns! Now do want that game? No.
I still want the cologne.
If you buy that cologne then I'm gonna lose all respect for you.
Good.
Then we'll both have the same amount of respect for each other.
What's with you? We had a plan: coffee, Strong Johns, hang out! Dude, we can hang out later.
I just wanna go buy some that cologne really quick.
No.
That wasn't part of the plan! If you leave, then I'm gonna have to get some new friends! That's cool.
I'll probably be too busy with the ladies anyway.
Well fine.
I'll be busy with my new friends! Plan-breaker! Are you done with your stupid cologne yet? You know that stuff's not gonna work.
Why don't you get out of here? You don't know anything.
Mordecai.
Rigby.
wonderful day we're hav- In your face! I knew that stuff wasn't gonna work.
Shut up! I'm not trying to attract Pops, I'm trying to attract Margaret.
She's probably on her way right now.
Margaret? I'm over here.
Margar-? Oh, geez! Whaddaya got there? DudeTime? I knew it! Come out, bros, come out! I told you it was DudeTime! Alright! DudeTime! DudeTime, bros!! Did someone say there's DudeTime down here? Can I bum a spray, can I bum a spray? Who are these guys? I dunno.
They seem pretty cool, though! You bros wanna hang out? I wanna hang out! But.
.
you're wasting your time with this guy.
All he wants to do is get with Margaret.
Margaret? That doesn't sound like a dude's name.
Are you using DudeTime to get the ladies? So what? No, bro! You don't use this to get the ladies.
You use it to hang out with the bros! Bros! Finally somebody's speaking my language! Bros! Little dude makes me laugh.
Seriously though.
You're pretty cool, too, for letting us bum some of your DudeTime, so if you really wanna attract the ladies, we can help.
Really? We know all about the ladies.
Actually, that would be pretty awesome, guys.
Cool.
Just point us to the lady.
This is where she works.
What do I gotta do? we'll tell you what to do, but first you have to drink from the Cup of Knowledge.
Sick! What was that?! It's definitely not unicorn slomp! How is that supposed to get me a lady? Chill out, bro.
We're just having a little fun.
Fun! Ever hear of it? Quit bein' such a jerk! Come on! We won't mess with you anymore.
I promise.
Got a great way to help you get your lad.
Great.
As long as I don't have to stand next to that total loser I'm up for anything.
'Kay, check it: the ladies love dudes who slick their hair back.
Jimmy, give 'im the stuff.
Here, use this! FIne.
Are you sure she'll be into this? Totally, bro, she'll be all about it.
All you gotta do is lay it down.
Lay it down? Bro, you know: lay it down! Can I help you? Hey, Margaret.
.
Mordecai? What's up? I'm uh, I'm here to l lay it down.
What? Lay it down? Sure.
Are you feeling OK? Yeah, I'm great, uh, I'll be right back.
What the H, guys? Not cool! Chill out, bro! We're watching you in there and little dude had a really good point.
What point? That we're totally not hanging out enough.
Don't worry.
We're still gonna help you get your lad.
How? By partying at your place! Wait what?! Party! Dude, these guys aren't trying to help me.
They're just messing with me.
Dude, they're just partying.
How is this supposed to help me get the ladies? They got you a lady! That's not a lady.
I thought you were gonna help me with Margaret.
Something's touching me! Hey, bros, check this out.
Here, let me help you up.
Why don't you ask Margaret to help you up? You know what, Rigby? Have fun with your new friends, you jerk.
Oh, and just so you know, when Benson finds out about your friends and their little hangout time, he's probably gonna fire ya.
Later, bro.
Mordecai, wait! Bros! I found a trampoline! NO! What are you doing to my bed? You sleep on this, bro?! Get off it! Right after this somersault.
Bros, this trampoline's all over me.
Help me get it off! My bed! Hey, bro.
You know this nerd? Rigby! When I get out of here I'll kill you! Check this out.
What's the matter, Rigbone? You like that nerd or something? Yeah, dude.
Chill out.
And have a drink! Hey, Mordecai- Don't touch me! Hey, so, I sorta need your help.
Why don't you ask your new bros for help? Dude, get over it! It's not my fault! If you would have just hung out with me and played some Strong Johns, none of this woulda happened.
Look.
I'm sorry about the game, but that doesn't give you the right to treat me like garbage! You owe me an apology! I'm sorry.
A real apology.
OK, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry! Is that what you wanted to hear? I miss you! I miss you! OK.
Quit being a baby.
Why?! That's for psyching me.
It's gonna suck for you when Benson gets untied.
Dude, you have to help me.
Way ahead of you, bro.
Hey Skips.
We have a problem.
Unicorns? How'd you know? They peed on my lawn.
So, how do we get rid of them? Well, that's really hard.
They're like insects, but there's one thing unicorns never say no to.
Drag racing.
You guys know what to do, right? Hey, Rigby.
Weren't we supposed to race some unicorns, and not a bunch of losers? You're dead! You're gonna die! Bros! Bros! Horseless carriages Bros, bros! .
.
commence! This is how you get rid of unicorns.
But what if they come back? They ain't comin' back! Cool! That's the only way to get rid of unicorns.
I can't believe you idiots let those unicorns in here.
You two morons had better get this mess cleaned up or you'll wish it was you driving that car!!! The unicorn one? Cold! And you! Quit sprayin' that cologne, it's not gonna get you any ladies.
Idiots.
Wanna go bro? Strong Johns? Yeah.
Here're you guys, enjoy.
Nothing beats drinkin' joe with my bro! Right, Mordecai? What? Yeeeeeaaahh.
Dude, Dude! Margaret totally just smiled at me.
No she didn't.
Yes she did.
Then why don't you ask her out? It's not that easy.
You wouldn't understand.
I wouldn't understand.
Probably 'cos I'm too busy drinking joe with my bro like we came here to do in the first place, remember? Wait.
I once was lost, but now.
.
I'm found.
DudeTime, for men.
What kind of loser would want a bunch of chicks tearing their clothes off? Right, Mordecai? Mordecai.
Hey Margaret.
Didn't notice you there.
Gee Mordecai, I don't think I've ever realized how awesome you are.
And you smell great too.
Mordecai.
Mordecai.
Mordecai? Mordecai? Dude.
I'm buying that cologne.
Why? You said you would chip in for that awesome new game.
I'm John.
I'm also John.
We're the Strong Johns! Strong Johns, Strong Johns! You have to buy Strong Johns! Strong Johns, Strong Johns! You gotta buy Strong Johns! Now do want that game? No.
I still want the cologne.
If you buy that cologne then I'm gonna lose all respect for you.
Good.
Then we'll both have the same amount of respect for each other.
What's with you? We had a plan: coffee, Strong Johns, hang out! Dude, we can hang out later.
I just wanna go buy some that cologne really quick.
No.
That wasn't part of the plan! If you leave, then I'm gonna have to get some new friends! That's cool.
I'll probably be too busy with the ladies anyway.
Well fine.
I'll be busy with my new friends! Plan-breaker! Are you done with your stupid cologne yet? You know that stuff's not gonna work.
Why don't you get out of here? You don't know anything.
Mordecai.
Rigby.
wonderful day we're hav- In your face! I knew that stuff wasn't gonna work.
Shut up! I'm not trying to attract Pops, I'm trying to attract Margaret.
She's probably on her way right now.
Margaret? I'm over here.
Margar-? Oh, geez! Whaddaya got there? DudeTime? I knew it! Come out, bros, come out! I told you it was DudeTime! Alright! DudeTime! DudeTime, bros!! Did someone say there's DudeTime down here? Can I bum a spray, can I bum a spray? Who are these guys? I dunno.
They seem pretty cool, though! You bros wanna hang out? I wanna hang out! But.
.
you're wasting your time with this guy.
All he wants to do is get with Margaret.
Margaret? That doesn't sound like a dude's name.
Are you using DudeTime to get the ladies? So what? No, bro! You don't use this to get the ladies.
You use it to hang out with the bros! Bros! Finally somebody's speaking my language! Bros! Little dude makes me laugh.
Seriously though.
You're pretty cool, too, for letting us bum some of your DudeTime, so if you really wanna attract the ladies, we can help.
Really? We know all about the ladies.
Actually, that would be pretty awesome, guys.
Cool.
Just point us to the lady.
This is where she works.
What do I gotta do? we'll tell you what to do, but first you have to drink from the Cup of Knowledge.
Sick! What was that?! It's definitely not unicorn slomp! How is that supposed to get me a lady? Chill out, bro.
We're just having a little fun.
Fun! Ever hear of it? Quit bein' such a jerk! Come on! We won't mess with you anymore.
I promise.
Got a great way to help you get your lad.
Great.
As long as I don't have to stand next to that total loser I'm up for anything.
'Kay, check it: the ladies love dudes who slick their hair back.
Jimmy, give 'im the stuff.
Here, use this! FIne.
Are you sure she'll be into this? Totally, bro, she'll be all about it.
All you gotta do is lay it down.
Lay it down? Bro, you know: lay it down! Can I help you? Hey, Margaret.
.
Mordecai? What's up? I'm uh, I'm here to l lay it down.
What? Lay it down? Sure.
Are you feeling OK? Yeah, I'm great, uh, I'll be right back.
What the H, guys? Not cool! Chill out, bro! We're watching you in there and little dude had a really good point.
What point? That we're totally not hanging out enough.
Don't worry.
We're still gonna help you get your lad.
How? By partying at your place! Wait what?! Party! Dude, these guys aren't trying to help me.
They're just messing with me.
Dude, they're just partying.
How is this supposed to help me get the ladies? They got you a lady! That's not a lady.
I thought you were gonna help me with Margaret.
Something's touching me! Hey, bros, check this out.
Here, let me help you up.
Why don't you ask Margaret to help you up? You know what, Rigby? Have fun with your new friends, you jerk.
Oh, and just so you know, when Benson finds out about your friends and their little hangout time, he's probably gonna fire ya.
Later, bro.
Mordecai, wait! Bros! I found a trampoline! NO! What are you doing to my bed? You sleep on this, bro?! Get off it! Right after this somersault.
Bros, this trampoline's all over me.
Help me get it off! My bed! Hey, bro.
You know this nerd? Rigby! When I get out of here I'll kill you! Check this out.
What's the matter, Rigbone? You like that nerd or something? Yeah, dude.
Chill out.
And have a drink! Hey, Mordecai- Don't touch me! Hey, so, I sorta need your help.
Why don't you ask your new bros for help? Dude, get over it! It's not my fault! If you would have just hung out with me and played some Strong Johns, none of this woulda happened.
Look.
I'm sorry about the game, but that doesn't give you the right to treat me like garbage! You owe me an apology! I'm sorry.
A real apology.
OK, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry! Is that what you wanted to hear? I miss you! I miss you! OK.
Quit being a baby.
Why?! That's for psyching me.
It's gonna suck for you when Benson gets untied.
Dude, you have to help me.
Way ahead of you, bro.
Hey Skips.
We have a problem.
Unicorns? How'd you know? They peed on my lawn.
So, how do we get rid of them? Well, that's really hard.
They're like insects, but there's one thing unicorns never say no to.
Drag racing.
You guys know what to do, right? Hey, Rigby.
Weren't we supposed to race some unicorns, and not a bunch of losers? You're dead! You're gonna die! Bros! Bros! Horseless carriages Bros, bros! .
.
commence! This is how you get rid of unicorns.
But what if they come back? They ain't comin' back! Cool! That's the only way to get rid of unicorns.
I can't believe you idiots let those unicorns in here.
You two morons had better get this mess cleaned up or you'll wish it was you driving that car!!! The unicorn one? Cold! And you! Quit sprayin' that cologne, it's not gonna get you any ladies.
Idiots.
Wanna go bro? Strong Johns? Yeah.