Remington Steele (1982) s01e16 Episode Script

Steele Crazy After All These Years

There's a logical explanation for everything.
He tried to convince me Dan was killed by a ghost.
[Screams] The fact is, 10 years ago, Donovan's dead but last night last night I saw him.
- Don't tell me you saw Donovan's ghost too.
- I don't know what I saw.
You were the first to find the ghost.
Well, that alone ought to be worth something.
[Screaming] - Laura! - I know! I know! There's a logical explanation.
- [Gunshot] - [Gasps] - Don't tell me.
You solved the case.
- Precisely.
- The name of our killer.
- He's been dead for 10 years.
- Dead? - [Grunts] That's where it happened to Tom 10 years ago! Annie! All of us were there with Tom the night that it happened.
Maybe you better tell us about that night 10 years ago.
[Laura] Try this for a deep, dark secret The great detective Remington Steele? He doesn't exist.
I invented him.
Follow I always loved excitement.
So I studied and apprenticed and put my name on an office.
But absolutely nobody knocked down my door.
A female private investigator seemed so feminine.
So I invented a superior.
A decidedly masculine superior.
Suddenly, there were cases around the block.
It was working like a charm.
Until the day he walked in with his blue eyes and mysterious past.
And before I knew it he assumed Remington Steele's identity.
Now I do the work, and he takes the bows.
It's a dangerous way to live but as long as people buy it I can get thejob done.
We never mix business with pleasure.
Well, almost never.
I don't even know his real name.
Annie! [Screaming] Annie! Annie.
! [Shuddering] You'll never get it outta me.
One of us will, sooner or later, Murph.
Come on, hold on, Charlie! Hold on to him! You can do [Laughing] - Steroids.
The guy must take steroids.
- Who's next? Come on! [Man] Once is enough.
I promised my wife no coronaries.
Hey, Charlie! A rematch! Come on! Please.
I'm trying to stay on good terms with my ego.
- Guys, left-handed, huh? What do you say? - No way, Murph.
You still sweat great, don't you, Murph? I always liked to watch you sweat.
Best part of the basketball game for me.
I know this isn't a good time, but Dan didn't show up.
I've been everywhere looking for him.
He screamed I think it was his scream and then he wasn't there, and I didn't know what to think.
Then I remembered reading that you worked for a detective named Remington somebody.
Hey, wait a minute.
Slow down and start over.
Okay, look.
I was making dinner for us.
Nothing heavy, just a little spaghetti.
But I know Dan was really looking forward to it because it had been almost 10 years.
And then I went to the window, and all of a sudden I got this real burning sensation right between my fifth and sixth chakras, and that's a very negative place.
So, Murph, just help me look for him, you know? And if you say everything's copacetic, then I'll try to go with it, okay? Do, um Do I know you? You mean in the biblical sense or just like names? I think Dan's room is down here.
- Annie, this Dan - Yeah.
Varsity track and swim.
That is until Sharon Credenza introduced him to mushrooms.
You used to go with Sharon for a while, didn't you? Sharon who? I always suspected she was lying about your relationship.
[Sighs] It's not locked.
Do you think that means something? - Yeah.
It means it's not locked.
- Oh.
Annie, Dan probably met another old friend on his way over to your place and they went out for a drink or something.
I checked all our old town hangouts.
Did you know they converted the Rosy Rooster to a disco? - Oh, really? - Yeah.
Now they call it the Cock-A-Doodle-Doo.
I don't know.
I guess flashing lights just don't do it for me anymore.
So what do you think happened to him? Look, I'm sure he'll turn up real soon.
Meanwhile, why don't you let me buy you some coffee at the student union? Hey, you, uh want us to make it again? You know, just for old times' sake.
I mean, I'm open to it.
Again? Annie, we never But you know what? Right now I'm really worried about Dan.
Don't you think we oughta be, like, looking for clues and stuff? Annie, has it occurred to you that maybe Dan changed his mind and - And what? - Stood you up.
Hey you know, I know my brain shakes loose from the space-time continuum and my mouth gets a mind of its own.
Coming here after 12 years of St.
Amelia's School for Girls will do that to a person.
But I heard somebody scream, and I think it was Dan.
And scared is scared in any universe you wanna pick.
All right.
I'm sorry.
I'll take a look around, but if you're really concerned you oughta notify campus security or something, okay? Yeah, I guess.
But uniforms always bring out the paranoid in me, you know? I've tried to work it through with my mailman and everything but even when he wears his summer shorts [Screaming] Annie! Screaming is the release that happens when a spirit suddenly transcends to a radically altered reality.
Ah, this should be engaging.
A few days amidst the groves of academe.
Oh, it's already beginning to evoke painfully sweet memories of Cambridge.
Cambridge? You went to Cambridge? The ivied halls, the robed faculty punting on the Thames.
Cambridge is on the River Cam.
Oxford is on the Thames.
Oxford, Cambridge.
It's the education one gets that's important.
And I have no doubt as I throw myself into the challenge of a new case it will serve me well.
- I wouldn't throw myself in too hard.
- Oh? When Murphy called, he didn't exactly request you.
Murphy never requests me.
It's not in his nature.
But we've come a long way from those first rocky days.
Really? I wasn't aware.
He may appear gruff and pungent at times but beneath that there's a growing respect.
- No kidding! - You watch.
We'll arrive, and he'll look at you in that way he does, and he'll bid you welcome.
Then he'll look across at me in that way he does and say - What the hell is he doing here? - I got the gruff and pungent part.
You really disappointed me, Murphy.
Surely by now, I thought we could work together smoothly as professionals.
What profession did you have in mind? That's rather harsh, considering you're the one that called for help.
- I called for her, not you.
- An oversight, no doubt.
I'm serious, Laura.
How could you let him come along? What did you expect me to do? Throw him out of the car? You've had worse ideas.
He's only gonna get in the way.
I understood there was a death to investigate.
Is there no bloody weapon to examine? No hysterical witness to question? No suspicious character to tail? Those of us in the real world know most evidence tends to come from the commonplace, the ordinary and the mundane.
Such as? Hung from a flagpole, eh? Can't think of anything more commonplace than that.
- I'm gonna hit him, Laura.
- Concentrate on the case, Murph.
Could this Dan Kowalski have hung himself from the flagpole, do you think? Well, that's the official version.
Suicide isn't the greatest way to start off a homecoming but it sure beats the hell out of murder.
They raise a lot of money from these shindigs.
Why scare anybody off? - But I sense you have doubts.
- Well, it just doesn't fit.
The guy was supposed to have dinner last night with somebody.
About the time he's due to arrive, she hears screaming.
An hour later, he's hanging from the flagpole.
Definitely more than a suicide, which shouldn't be too hard to crack.
Will you listen to this guy? You know, you are pushing it just a little bit.
Oh, don't tell me you're afraid too.
Afraid? Of what? That a novice like myself might show up a more experienced sleuth.
- Oh, you're not serious? - Then you are afraid.
- Laura, can't we buy him a bus ticket somewhere? - Now hold on a minute, Murph.
You mean you think you can solve this all by yourself? Why not? After all, I've had one excellent teacher.
You know, that could be very interesting to watch.
Care to make a small wager on the side? - A wager? - Laura, I'm sure it's some kind of trick.
I realize a man's been murdered, but it would be towards a good cause.
- You know how devious he can be.
- A wager.
A wager.
And what kind of terms did you have in mind? Well, if I solve the case first say, a weekend, just the two of us in, uh, Paris.
Wouldn't five bucks be more sensible? You're on.
And if I win, I want one year of your life.
Laura, indentured servitude went out with the top hat.
No, I'm talking about your mysterious past.
I want to know what happened in one year without exaggeration or embellishment.
- You're on.
- I don't believe it.
Well, I've got work to do.
With a bit of luck, I should be through in, say, three hours.
Three hours, huh? Well, why don't I give you something to start on? That's sporting of you, Murphy.
This building was locked tight as a drum last night.
No locks were picked, no alarms were set off and a security guard came by every 15 minutes.
As far as I can tell, it was physically impossible to have gotten that body up there.
Well, uh, perhaps four hours, just to be on the safe side, eh? Of course he maneuvered me into the bet.
I let him.
You sure that was a wise idea? I mean, what if he actually - Wins? - I know it seems like a long shot.
Still Look, he's out of your hair, and we could get a year of his history to boot.
Aren't you thirsting to know what our Mr.
Steele was doing in '68, '73, '80? - Curious, I'll give you.
But thirsting? No, no way.
- [Laughing] It's a real kick in the consciousness.
You know what I mean? I mean, Dan, of all people.
Why? Dan Dan was Dan was the poet in my life.
- I'm sure he was very good.
- No, he was terrible.
Always mixing his metaphors and splitting his infinitives.
"Shards of Styrofoam truth on the belly of a bottled dog.
" But he really tried, you know? And then to see him hanging hanging there looking like like one of his poems.
Can you think of any reason why anyone would want him dead? Or why they'd hang him from the R.
Building? No.
No, Dan R.
Building? - That's where they found him.
- Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
Deja vu! Deja vu! Oh, no.
Oh, no.
- What is it, Annie? - This can't be happening.
- What? - Oh, wow.
That's where it happened to Tom 10 years ago! - Tom? Tom who? - Tom Donovan.
You see, all of us were there with Tom the night that it happened.
See, this is Tom Donovan with his sister and here he is with the group.
We were all pretty tight in those days, you know? Tom Donovan? Wait a minute.
He was killed in a lab accident, wasn't he? Lies for the media.
It didn't happen that way.
You see, Tom had this idea.
Tom was always having ideas.
But this time, this one, that night, 10 years ago We were all supposed to break into the R.
Building and do this big number for the homecoming event set off a big fireworks display from the roof.
And the six of us were all in on it.
Dan was driving.
And, uh, next to me was Lynette Mercer Tom Donovan Nat and Hector Sanchez.
We got to the building at midnight.
The administration was real uptight about the R.
C so there was a guard posted out front.
Myjob was to distract him away from the north side while the others snuck around to scale the wall and break into the third-story window.
I was supposed to meet Tom at the side door at 12::30, so he could let me in but this guard was like all thumbs, you know? It took him a lot longer to fix it than I expected.
So I was getting real worried that I might not make it to the side door in time.
[Sighs] When it happened.
Something Something went wrong.
I'm sorry.
It must have been terrible.
Tom died in the blast.
[Crying] And now Dan.
I mean, that was 10 years ago.
Why? If there's a connection, we'll find it.
Meanwhile, I want you to stay close to me, okay? The others, Annie Where are they now? Well, Hector wrote and said he was gonna come this weekend.
He said Lynette was too.
And, of course, I'm sure Nat's still hiding underground.
- Nat? - Nat Shavers.
Well, not the Nat Shavers? Well, he wasn't the Nat Shavers then.
The legend sort of grew after he went naked across the White House lawn on top of a V.
Bug and wrote his book Mr.
Yippie Goes to Washington.
Well, come on.
We've got some people to find.
[Liquid Flowing] [Screams] So, you're a student here now? Oh, uh, yeah.
Graduate studies.
[Chuckles] Oh, really? In what course? Um, Egyptology.
But we don't have an Egyptology Department here, do we? No.
That's why I'll be transferring soon.
It hardly pays to work for a degree at a school that can't offer it, right? - [Laughs] - Delighted to meet you.
Likewise, I'm sure.
Excuse us, won't you? Matter of grave importance.
Thank you so much.
Au revoir.
Pack your bags, Laura.
You'll love Paris this time of year.
A small hotel on the Left Bank, and, quite frankly, I can't wait till we get there.
- You mean you've solved the case already? - Mm-hmm.
Read on.
Poltergeist: : Fact and Fiction? The Uninvited.
Ray Milland, Gail Russell, Paramount, 1944.
- You're taking me to the movies again.
- The culprit was a ghost.
You heard Murphy say getting Dan's body on that flagpole was a physical impossibility.
- It all fits.
- Very creative.
But it won't work.
I'm not big on ghosts.
Take a stroll through Dan's room.
There's something in there that's most persuasive.
Sorry, but the wager's still on.
I just don't believe in them.
How can you be so narr How can you be so narrow-minded? Spirits have stalked the earth since time immemorial.
- There's even a ghost in my own ancestral lineage.
- Phantom of the Cinema? He was a general at the Battle of Agincourt, 1415.
Well, he wasn't exactly a general.
He was sort of - Pretending? - Only to lure the French archers away from the English attack - when a wild arrow caught him in the - Chest? Back, I'm afraid.
Now he's condemned to an eternity in purgatory till a member of my family can perform an act of extraordinary courage.
And end his tortured wanderings.
Are you applying for the position? Very well.
Very well.
Scoff if you like, but mark my word Ah, Professor Perkins! Good to meet you at last.
- Ah, yeah.
- Percy Winfield, Dean of Men.
Your chum Michaels here has been explaining the sensitive nature of your research here on campus.
Professor Perkins? My chum Michaels? I'd be only too glad to assist.
I'm most anxious to discuss the project down to the last detail.
Yes, well, perhaps later we could have some cucumber sandwiches.
- Oh, nonsense! No time like the present.
- What about a curried egg? When I told the dean that the great Remington Steele was here to solve the case he was, well, more than understanding.
- Was that really necessary? - Well, probably not but you can never play it too safe with that guy.
How's he doing anyway? Well, he tried to convince me Dan was killed by a ghost.
A ghost? I knew when he got desperate, he'd start grabbing at straws but that's what I call desperate.
- So how about us? - Steady as she goes.
I still come up with nothing on Lynette.
But Annie's found Hector.
Come on.
Annie? Annie? She said she'd meet us down here somewhere.
You know, I keep getting the feeling from the way she acts that you and she were Oh, honestly, Laura, I really don't remember her, okay? It must've been when you were going through one of your wild periods.
- I didn't have any wild periods.
- Hey.
Down here.
Now listen.
Could you kind of, like, go easy? You know, I mean, Hector's pretty weird.
I mean, he's always been into conspiracies, you know? During Watergate, he was convinced that his mother was an F.
- But now it's worse.
- Where is he? Hector, I'm Laura Holt.
This is Murphy Michaels.
You see, that's how the feds get to you.
A friendly handshake with a poisoned needle.
Hector, we're here to help you.
We're both associates of Remington Steele.
Surely you can find some assurance in his reputation.
Why not? If you can show me his birth certificate and fingerprints.
I like this guy.
Hector, we're here to ask you about Ghosts.
Ghosts? Poltergeists, disembodied spirits.
To hell with the nomenclature.
The fact is, 10 years ago, Donovan's dead but last night last night I saw him.
Hector, there's a logical explanation for everything.
You call lights exploding logical? You call blood from a faucet logical? Ontology may not be your bag, man, but I was there.
- Murphy, you don't suppose - Don't even think it, Laura.
Hector [Clears Throat] Maybe you better tell us about that night 10 years ago.
[Hector] You see, I'm an intellectual.
So what? I'm a climber too.
Socrates said scholars should be athletes and, of course, he was the first revolutionary.
Myjob, you see, was to scale the wall, open the third-floor window drop a rope down and haul the others up.
Tom said it was to be an intellectual statement for the revolution.
I was up for that.
I mean, Aristotle would've loved it.
We made something happen, man, in space and time notjust in possibility.
The others went on ahead to set up the fireworks.
I was gonna paint a few slogans on the walls.
You know, "Utopia now.
! '" That sort of thing.
Then something went wrong.
Tom sent Lynette to tell us that the fireworks were duds that there were guards on the floor above and that we had to get out of there fast we didn't even reach the van.
[Screaming] - Laura! - I know! I know! There's a logical explanation.
I gotta think phenomenology.
[Panting] He came in here, Laura.
He's in here! We saw him! - Where? - [Annie] Hector.
! Hector.
! Hector! [Screams] L l-I turned my back but one second.
Two seconds, tops! I looked back - You didn't see any - Nothing.
Don't say it.
Who needs to say it? We had some trouble with our R.
Facility a few years back.
Most unfortunate.
Ayoung man was killed.
As a result, security was increased.
Certainly nothing like it at Cambridge.
- Oh, so you're a Cambridge man? - Uh, more or less.
Uh, I'm curious.
Just what would you say you got from the experience? In sum, that Cambridge is on the Cam and, uh, Oxford is on the Thames.
[Chuckles] What a What an What an incredibly succinct way of defining their philosophical differences.
[Both Laughing] - Yes, well, who informed you of the murder? - Suicide, please.
- Oh, sorry.
- Uh, the alumni.
And it was your associate, Mr.
Michaels, who called.
I imagine you must feel very lucky to have Murphy working for you.
Oh, I'd, uh, be lost without him.
Anyway, I was just turning on my electric blanket when I received the call.
I grabbed my Mayberry, took my flashlight rushed right over, and there he was.
- Oh, may I? - Oh, certainly.
Naturally I informed the board of governors immediately.
And the president, of course.
- Then we called an emergency meeting.
- Excuse me.
Your people wouldn't have any reason to put the body back, would they? - Put it back? - I was afraid so.
Good God! Who could that be? It's Hector Sanchez.
I don't believe it.
! Coming from you of all people.
He'll say anything.
But you I merely said we may have to extend our thinking on this case.
To what? That Dan and Hector were killed by a ghost? Look, the present theory about poltergeists is that they're some kind of freak manifestation of human guilt the guilt of someone living.
- Please.
- And since all the victims participated in the R.
Break-in 10 years ago, maybe something happened then something that requires them all getting back together so it can work itself out.
- But they're not all together.
Where's Nat? Where's Lynette? - I don't know! - I'm only saying we can't rule out any possibilities.
- Would you listen to yourself? Would you please listen to each other? I mean, talk about channeling your free-floating anxiety into somebody else's space.
Face it.
You're scared.
I'm scared.
I mean, in a trip like this, it would take a really extended human being not to be.
Ah, here you all are! Murphy, Laura and - Annie.
- Yes, of course.
Wonderful news.
La Guerre est finie.
- The war is over? - What war is that? - Are you suggesting - The airline's been called, the wardrobe selected.
By this time tomorrow, it's croissants on the Concorde.
Don't tell me.
You solved the case.
- Precisely.
- The ghost? Don't be absurd.
The murderer's of mortal flesh, speaking of which You wouldn't happen to have any evidence to back that up, would you? The kind of evidence you slaver for, Murphy.
Solid, concrete and irrefutable.
I'll leave detailed notes on my modus operandi for you to study while Laura and I are absent from the office.
- Care to share the details with us? - All in good time.
For the moment, I've informed Dean Winfield.
The police have put out an A.
That's law enforcement jargon for an all points bulletin.
Soon the culprit shall be safely tucked away in a cell while we are safely tucked away in Laura, there is work to be done, and I do believe I'm going to be ill.
- [Door Slams] - [Chuckles] Not even Murphy's good humor can deprive me of this moment.
Well, enjoy it while you can.
Those moments have a habit of running out.
Not this time.
But we'll see.
It's your shoe leather to waste as you see fit.
- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.
- [Clears Throat] - You must be Remington Steele.
Yes, I, uh I really believe I am.
Did you know that you radiate a very powerful energy? One hears rumors.
I could really use some of that.
- Would you mind? - Would I mind what? A quick transfer of auras through the total union of our bodies and spirits.
Uh, well, unfortunately, I have to go to Paris shortly.
Oh bummer.
[Sighs] So did you really find out who killed Dan and Hector? Oh, how thoughtless of me.
You must be distraught.
Let me reassure you.
I discovered this name tag at the scene of the crime revealing the name of our killer.
- Tom Donovan? - Mm-hmm.
Tom Donovan.
He's been dead for 10 years.
Dead? Are you sure? Do they know that? You so much as breathe funny, and I'll use this.
Understand? - Please, don't shoot.
Don't - Don't turn around.
- Put your hands where I can see 'em.
- Okay.
- Who are you? - Charles Ryder.
I want to know why you're breaking into my car, and I want to know now! Because before I became Charles Ryder I was Nat Shavers.
Nat Shavers? Not The Nat Shavers.
But, Nat, all that great hair.
- What happened? - I sold it.
What do you think happened? It went the way of the sit-in, the peace sign and Janis Joplin.
[Whistles] Oh, believe me.
The life of an underground fugitive may read great, but it's murder on a peptic ulcer.
By '75, I knew more federal agents than Hoover did.
But it was rumored you'd hooked up with the international underground.
Reports of you in Munich, Belfast, Rome.
Do you have any idea what it costs to get to Italy? Even then? And the times I could hook up with some contact all they wanted me for was to smuggle them stereos and blue jeans.
All right, I liked being a legend.
You know, who wouldn't? But you can't eat press clippings, you know? So you changed your name and dropped back in? Hey, it was painfully easy.
You wanna go unnoticed in this society, just act productive.
And, uh, now? I sell time for an ad agency in San Fernando.
My wife makes me write all her P.
My kids think "Hell, no, we won't go" is what you say at bedtime.
I thought it might be fun to ride up here for the weekend stay in the background and see what's become of us.
But after what happened in Dan's room Don't tell me you saw Donovan's ghost too? I don't know what I saw, but it's got me popping tranquilizers like peanuts.
What do you remember the night you broke into the R.
Building? [Nat] I remember I'd planned my moves out very carefully going over it again and again in my mind until I could do it almost automatically.
Once inside, we split up on the third floor.
Tom and Lynette went up to the roof and I hustled myself into the R.
Commander's office Iooking for some embarrassing documents we could publish in the underground paper.
I thought I'd found something when Tom sent Lynette down to me.
She told me the bomb was nearly set but that the campus security was onto us and were already in the building.
So we had to get the hell out of there.
I thought Tom would be right behind us, but - He wasn't.
- A bomb? But I though Tom was using fireworks.
He just said that to get Annie, Dan and Hector to go along with it.
The fact is, he wanted to blow the roof right off the building.
- No.
- I'm sorry, Annie.
It wasn't supposed to happen like that.
But according to my definition of reality, this shouldn't be happening either.
- Nat, come with me.
- Where are we going? You're gonna introduce me to this ghost.
[Clears Throat] Well, well, well.
I thought you'd be on your way to Paris by now.
Oh, well, the murderer appeared to be more elusive than I anticipated.
Who's - That's Nat Shavers.
- The Nat Shavers? And here's your ghost.
The whole room was rigged.
I don't know where it was set off, but there's a master switch somewhere.
I knew I kept you on the payroll for a good reason.
- What's that? - A clue, no doubt.
- Well, let me see it.
- Find your own evidence.
- This isn't over yet.
- [Laughing] No, I've never been to Nepal.
I hitchhiked there from Kansas City.
- But isn't isn't there a - An ocean.
I took a freighter.
You know, I saw the most amazing tattoos on that trip.
You really get around, don't you? Just since college.
Not that St.
Amelia's School for Girls wasn't a good place to get started but it was like everything that happened to me those four years was trying to tell me something, and I listened.
I know that was just a phase for most but I figured, you know, what did I have to lose really? So I let Lou Andreas introduce me to my body.
I gave peace a real chance and I tried everything that looked interesting.
- And? - And I still haven't run out of things yet.
- [Laughing] - And you? Oh, I was just finishing high school then [Clattering] [Gasps] - I'd choose the same.
- Stop him! - Let's split up, quick.
- Come on.
Laura, did you get a good look at him? Laura? Laura? Laura! Laura? Laura? Steele! [Sighs] I must really be scared.
- Why? - I'm actually calling for him.
- [Steele] Laura.
- Keep coming.
I'm right below you.
- Is Murphy behind you? - I don't think so.
I noticed one of the panels on that kiosk was off just a bit but it snapped shut after I got in.
- How'd you find it? - Huh? The Third Man.
London Films, 1949.
Orson Welles disappeared in the sewers of Vienna through something like it.
There must be a whole network of them underneath the campus.
Yeah, a clumsy ghost could be rather effective using these to make a sudden appearance.
There's probably a passageway that leads up into the R.
Yes, no need to tamper with locks, alarms or even guards.
[Sighs] After you.
You won't regret giving me a head start? - I'll risk it.
- Yeah.
- Ah, damn! - What's wrong? - I'm stuck.
- Hold still.
Hold still.
I'll give you a hand.
Oh, um, put your arms around me.
Oh, how long I've waited for you to say that.
Just do it.
[Both Grunting] - I think I've got it.
- So long as we seem to be tete-a-tete what say we cancel our bet and simply award one another the prizes? You mean you'd willingly tell me one year of your life? For a weekend with you? Gladly.
An interesting offer, but I've so enjoyed the competition.
Has it really been one for you? More than I expected.
You were the first to find the ghost.
Well, that alone ought to be worth something.
Where else have I gone right? I'm not sure it would be safe for me to say right now.
[Thumping] There's someone up ahead there.
There's always someone up ahead.
I say let them make their own bets.
- Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
- [Groans] - [Gunshots] - [Gasps] I was never crazy about that lighter myself.
[Screams] [Stammers] Did someone just come through here? Are you sure? We must have taken a wrong turn.
That's one way of looking at it, I suppose.
Uh, as you were, ladies.
Come here.
Well, who have we here? Lynette Mercer.
Come on.
I left the country right after graduation trying to get as far away as I could.
I finally ended up in the Hindu Kush living with the Koreish katurs.
They had a wisdom I'd never encountered before.
I thought I'd renewed myself.
But it was time for me to come home to test myself to see if I could live with the past.
I wired some friends for airfare and returned several months ago.
Well, perhaps you'd better tell us about what happened that night.
[Lynette] It happened after Nat left us.
Tom had the explosives with him.
He and I were supposed to go up on the roof and get them ready with an automatic timer.
Instead, Tom took me into one of the offices and I realized he'd brought a lot more explosives than we'd talked about.
But before I could even ask, he began telling me what he meant to do.
Tom had set them up Annie, Hector and Nat.
He was gonna set off a bomb inside the building and make them martyrs to the revolution.
I couldn't believe how stupid I'd been.
I loved him.
I followed him.
I trusted him.
But I hadn't noticed that he'd become more fanatic with each new adventure.
I thought about running to warn the others but they all worshipped him so I was afraid they wouldn't believe me.
And I knew even ifhe didn't succeed that night he would've tried again another building another set of victims to his personal cause.
I reset the timer for five minutes and ran out of the room.
I told the others that campus security was in the building and that Tom wanted all of us out.
It was as simple as that.
And so, obsessed with your guilt, you returned to this country and proceeded to terrify and punish the people who caused you to murder the man you loved.
What are you talking about? Dan, Hector and the apparition you assumed to kill them.
- I didn't kill Dan and Hector.
- Hmm.
I suppose you didn't take a shot at Miss Holt and me either.
- That's right.
I didn't.
- Then what were you doing in the tunnels? Hiding.
When I arrived here and learned that Dan had been killed I thought the killer must've really have been after me.
Tom told me about the tunnels after he and his kid sister discovered them so I went down there hoping I could find out who it was before they found me.
There's a hole in your story somewhere.
There has to be.
Miss Holt, if you would kindly do the honors.
There's no hole.
Before now no one knew what she had done to Tom so she'd have no motive for killing them.
- Then who's the murderer? - I don't know.
[Sighs] These, uh, Koreish katurs you joined Austere people? Very.
They live in the mountains of Afghanistan.
And I suppose you have to give up all worldly possessions jewelry, that kind of thing? Why would I want to wear ridiculous, sexist ornamentation? Why indeed? Pity.
- What was that? - I said Paris seems a long way off at the moment.
[Chattering In French] It must be here.
We just can't see it.
Someone with a motive and access to everything.
Murphy, have a look at this.
- This is Tom Donovan's jacket.
- I don't get it.
Why would she have the same picture? - [Gasps] - She's his sister! And then I will make a few remarks.
There'll be applause, applause, applause.
And then I will crown our homecoming queen.
- It's her! - It's her! [Screams] - The earring! - The sister.
- The sister? - Not just his sister.
Tom practically raised me when my parents split up.
He was everything I had in the world, and they murdered him.
So you decided to return the favor.
I'm sorry I didn't get them all.
Spoken like a true ghost.
Come on.
You could say she really was his ghost.
Tom's original plan was to see them all killed.
Without knowing it, she was after the same thing.
Changed her name, went to the same school waited for their reunion to have her due.
How do you suppose a delicate creature like that managed to drag all those bodies around? I have no idea.
But you know what they say about a woman obsessed.
Hell hath no fury like No, that's a woman scorned, isn't it? Or a woman defeated, perhaps? Defeated? Surely you're not suggesting As I reconstruct the events in my mind I was the first to actually identify the murderer.
Ah, but we found her at the same time, thus making our little wager - A draw? - Afraid so.
Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.
[Sighs] And I knew you had your heart set on learning a bit of my colorful past not to mention a weekend in Paris.
Some other time, perhaps? Yes, but we worked so diligently, so tirelessly two sleuths hurling themselves into the unknown desperately seeking to find the truth behind a baffling mystery.
- Are you building up to something? - A compromise.
Six months of my life for one night of yours.
Your ancestral ghost? If it is, uh, good show, old boy.