Remington Steele (1982) s04e10 Episode Script

Steele on the Air

Really? Bizarre? Baffling? Is my guy brilliant or what? Announcing a major case on the radio! I mean, a guy crashes an airplane with a bullet in his head? I think People magazine has turned your mind to mush.
No, I really think I have something here, Laura.
- I confess! I confess! - Bud! - Did anyone else see you? - Of course not.
No one's gonna stop me! Good morning, Los Angeles.
Norman Austin here.
Along with Bud Tyler, with this piece of advice.
Shut this damn thing off and get back to sleep.
And if you're already up, find a bed- any bed- and get back in it, 'cause that's where the real fun is.
Norman, do you wanna put that damn thing away before you hurt somebody? In a minute, we'll be joining Doug West in the sky for a look at Los Angeles traffic.
All right, slugabeds, up and at 'em.
You're not gonna want to miss this one.
The start of another beautiful week.
We've got 65 degrees at 6:01.
Expect highs in the upper 70s.
And a gorgeous sunrise out the KROT window.
Blue skies and a few low morning clouds that should lift off before long.
Awesome sight, those clouds liftin' off like that.
Speaking of clouds, let's go up to the West nest for a look at early morning traffic.
Doug, how do things look from up there? It's still early, but traffic's already building at the downtown four-level.
Clear sailing, though, on the Santa Ana and Santa Monica routes.
If you're traveling on the eastbound Ventura, watch out.
I've got a report of an overturned truck near the Hollywood transition blocking the numbers 2 and 3 lanes.
That's how it looks for now from my perch high in the West nest.
- KROTTraffic.
- Thanks, Doug.
And now let's keep things moving with a little music.
Norm, I was sitting here looking out our window while the song was playing and I was struck by a frightening realization.
And I think we all know how that can hurt.
Did you know that if it hadn't been for the man who invented venetian blinds it would be curtains for all of us? Just a briefhistorical note.
Okay, it's 7:05 here at the Big Karat and time to play Pick a Hit- Your chance to decide whether a new song will be a hit or a miss.
We'll take caller number 14.
Call 555-KROT.
And keep in mind that I'll be the one to determine whether or not you are right.
Why you? I'm the one with the trained ear.
Trained ear? Yeah.
Here, ear.
Here, ear.
Sit, van Gogh.
Good ear.
No doubt about it, Norm.
That is a well-trained ear.
So let's take a quick check with Doug West up in his West nest and see how traffic is shaping up.
Looks like easy going for everyone traveling the Pacific Coast Highway.
There's a Sig Alert, though, reported on the Southbound 405.
I've got the KROTplane headed over the Malibu canyons now to check it out.
Orange County reporting moderate to heavy traffic on all freeways.
- Doug, is everything okay? - A little engine trouble.
Can't seem to fix.
Losing power.
Altitude dropping.
Malibu Canyon clearing.
Try to bring it down.
Bringing it down now, Bud.
No control.
Doug, are you there? Doug? Still no details on the plane crash involving KROT's own Doug West.
But we'll be sure to let you have whatever we have as soon as we have it.
Right now, it's 8:05.
And if you're supposed to be at work at 8:00 and ain't, you're late.
What have we got for a temperature, Norm? It's 70 degrees here at the Big Karat.
The only station in L.
guaranteed to improve your eyesight.
And now, back to the music.
- Norman- - Spare me the sermon, Bud.
- I know I'm late.
- But today of all days.
This is the last time.
I promise you.
- Morning, morning, morning.
- Morning, chief.
Ah, getting in a little practice, are we, Mildred? - You always make it look so easy.
- Years of experience.
- Is Miss Holt back from Malibu yet? - Not yet.
Excellent! Must be going well.
- Better than I imagined.
- What's that? Ah, in due course.
- Ah! - Oh.
- All in the wrist.
- The wrist.
Why didn't I see the plane? It should have flown right over me.
- Weren't you in your car at the time? - I had my top down.
- Maybe the sun got in your eyes.
- The sun was behind me.
And what about the explosions? Why did I hear the plane explode on the radio before I heard the plane explode here? Echo in the canyon.
I don't know.
You the eyewitness? Near as I can figure, the magneto came loose.
No way he could maintain power.
- What about the tracks up above? - Probably tried to make a forced landing.
Why didn't he just stop the plane or jump out? Ma'am, I'm still investigating.
Yo! Rick Badham.
Couldn't help but tune in to what you were sayin'.
Rick "the Badman" Badham? - Bingo! - Oh.
I listen to your station all the time.
- In fact, I was tuned in to KROT when this all happened.
Doug and I were pretty tight.
I can't believe he augers in after 15 years without a scratch.
I can't quite believe it either, based on the evidence.
You mean everything isn't copacetic? I'm a private investigator.
I'm trained to look for clues.
This is one.
There was a vehicle parked here this morning.
From the looks of the terrain, probably a four-wheel drive vehicle.
And these marks- It looks as if someone were dragging something.
Whoa! What are you saying? - I'm not sure, yet.
- Miss Holt? I thought you'd be interested to know.
The coroner just called.
They took a.
38 slug out of Doug West's skull.
He was a good pilot, a good friend, a good man.
Doug, old buddy, we know you're still flying.
Just a little higher now.
That's all.
So from all of us down here who are gonna miss you, Doug this one's for you.
Oh, no.
Oh! Would you get her out of here? Uh, he- He's right, Marcia.
This doesn't look too good.
- But- But- But- - Well put.
And I understand completely.
Look, we'll catch up later, all right? I'll see you tonight.
Norman, are you crazy? Her husband's still smoldering and you're hugging and kissing the grieving widow! Come on, Bud.
Will you relax? What, are people gonna think that I killed Doug West? I was on the air at the time, remember? Thanks to you.
Unintentional and- - Good day.
- A man of few words.
The gentleman on the other end had quite a few.
That was Leon- Leon Pulver, the press agent.
- Your 8:00 appointment? - I forgot all about it.
Forgot? I've been building you up to Leon for weeks now.
The man was dying to meet you three hours ago.
- Something came up.
- What could be more important than meeting the man who's gonna put us in People magazine? - Mr.
Steele, your partner in crime - Oh.
stumbled across the most bizarre murder case in years.
It's- It's totally baffling.
Really? Bizarre? Baffling? Hold on.
Uh, Mildred? Get me Leon Pulver, will you? Thank you very much indeed.
I can see the headlines now, Laura.
Excellent work.
Excellent work.
Oh, yeah.
Uh, hello, Doctor.
Last week, you referred to the use of vegetables.
- Fourteen-Krot? - KROT- 14-Karat.
- It is not important what vegetables you use.
Carrots, corn on the cob, zucchini.
- They are all terrific.
- A radio cooking show? That's Dr.
Pam, the phone-in sex therapist.
I must remember to get the recipe book.
Laura! What's the haps? - Rick Badham, Remington Steele.
- Dyno.
What say we barge in on the boss? - Frank- - No, no.
I got to him first, Badman.
Now, Frank, how about this? Lyman, that is the most idiotic thing I have ever heard.
- Does that mean no, Frank? - Frank, these are the detectives I was telling you about.
And I told you- too expensive.
Jack Lyman.
Rhymin' Lyman, Jingles, Incorporated.
- Do you need a snappy promo? - Actually, I was- - No.
- Oh, no.
Forget it.
- Frank, think about Doug.
- Oh, Doug was an idiot.
He drove a plane and looked at traffic.
Is that a job for a grown man? - Dix! - Uh-oh.
Have Sex - Will Travel.
Vegetable lady? Yeah.
This is the last straw, Dix.
I have done everything you've asked to promote this miserable station.
I give free advice at Folsom prison.
I got in the ring to rap with professional wrestlers.
But I have to draw the line somewhere! - You got a point, Doc? - I am a professional.
An eminent psychologist.
I do not do demolition derbies! Oh, you deal with anger and frustration.
Demolition derbies deal with anger and frustration.
What's the problem? I quit! I'm going to cable! Good riddance.
And take your vegetables with you.
- Oh, I told you no.
- As a devoted listener Mr.
Steele is willing to waive all fees unless we catch the killer.
Well, a true humanitarian.
- Good hunting, Mr.
- Mm-hmm.
The man really warms up when he gets something for nothing, doesn't he? You said you wanted to meet Tyler and Austin? They were the last ones to speak with Doug West.
They're right down here.
Studio "C.
" Hey, I gotta run.
Good luck.
I'll catch you on the "B" side.
And on a lighter note, they're developing an edible greeting card.
The card is said to provide good wishes and a free lunch.
So when you care enough to send the very best- Now back to more of your music with Rick Badham.
Thanks, Melody.
This is Rick "the Badman" Badham.
You know I'm bad, and that's good.
And how about this good news? Famed L.
detective Remington Steele has just agreed to find the killer of KROT's own Doug West.
Bad news for the bad guys.
Good news for the rest of us! Now let's get to some really bad sounds I know you're gonna love 'cause the Badman knows what's good for you.
- So much for our cover.
- Mm-hmm.
- That's the price of fame.
- Shall we? I know who did it, but you'll never get it out of me.
They'll tell me.
She'll talk when I get through with her.
Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Just when it looked like it was the end for Pauline Rex Righteous, local hero, burst through the door.
- Rex Righteous? - Remington Steele actually.
- Bud, you wanna stick to the script? - Addlepated Theater! - One of my favorites.
- I won't tell anyone.
Remington Steele, meet, um, Bud Tyler.
- Hello, Bud.
- And Norman Austin.
- Hello, Norman.
How are you? - And you are? Laura Holt.
I listen to you every morning.
Bud, quick, get Frank.
Tell him we've found our audience.
What-What can we do for you? We're private investigators hired by the station to find Doug West's killer.
Real tragedy.
I never heard an unkind word about Doug.
Yeah, he was a happily married man.
Doug and Marcia were a happy couple.
Very happy.
Evidence suggests that Doug's body was placed in the plane after it landed, and then it was deliberately crashed.
- But Doug was on the radio this morning.
- You spoke with him? Uh, yeah.
Is it possible someone cut into your broadcast? - Oh, I'm afraid that's- - No, it's possible.
Someone could patch in through another studio or even set up some sort of remote intercept.
Sounds like science fiction to me.
Are you suggesting that someone was impersonating Doug West? Well, someone could have put on tapes of Doug's voice.
Thank you.
I think you've narrowed our search to someone familiar with the station.
G- Glad to be of help.
I've been giving this second thoughts, Laura.
Bizarre and baffling though it may be is this the appropriate time to be tackling a case like this? I mean, if we flop we flop in front of a very large audience.
Think of the publicity if we crack it.
Think of the publicity if we don't crack it, more's the point.
- He wouldn't wait, boss.
- Ah, Leon! Steele! Is my guy brilliant or what? Announcing a major case on the radio! Chills, Steele.
It gave me chills.
Why does the man need me, I ask myself? - Good question.
- Listen, baby I just got off the car phone with the west coast bureau chief of People.
Flipped over this latest case of yours.
I mean, a guy crashes an airplane with a bullet in his head? It's new, it's different, and it plays to their demographics.
- They liked it? - What "like"? We're talkin' animal passion here.
Solve this one, the cover's yours.
Gotta fly.
Keep me informed.
Try to solve it before Thursday so we can meet their deadline.
- People magazine? - It's- It's to promote the agency, Mildred.
- I didn't hear my name mentioned.
- Come along, Miss Holt.
- Let's get cracking on the Doug West case.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- I've been thinking.
- Yes? Our culprit has to be involved in the radio station, right? - Our culprit? - Am I or am I not in training? - Proceed, Mildred.
- Okay.
Logically, someone has to go undercover at the radio station.
Someone crafty, someone who could blend in.
Scratch that.
Steele and I have already been seen by everyone there.
Miss Holt, I think we have, uh, created a monster here.
I give you full credit, Mr.
- Dr.
You're on the air.
- It's my husband.
- He's playing around.
- How long you been married? - Twenty-eight years.
- Children? - Three.
- He's a louse.
Soak him for everything he's got.
- Dr.
You're on the air.
- My boyfriend likes me to sing his college fight songs when we make love.
He's sick.
Dump him.
You're on the air.
I'm going blind, and she's playing Sigmund Freud, P.
You're the one who encouraged her to spread her wings.
Yes, but not at the expense of the nest.
I mean, what happened to good old Mildred? Sweet, adoring and servile.
She found out her boss is a fraud, remember? Sometimes the truth can be so, uh, unnecessary.
I don't mean to inconvenience you, Mr.
Steele but could we focus on our background check of Doug West? Mm-hmm.
Sounds like a moneygrubbing bimbo to me.
Dump her, or start talking prenuptial agreement.
You're on the air.
I'm 50 years old and own a prosperous line of clothing stores.
I was widowed last year.
Unfortunately the only women I find interested in me are young things after my money.
Where can I go to find a mature woman who will look beyond my wealth and social standing? Give me your number.
I'll get right back to you.
I see we're ready for a newsbreak.
I'll be back in five.
And remember, Dr.
Krebs is always in for you.
One of L.
's largest indoor malls closed its doors today following a series of bizarre mishaps that ended in the arrest of its owner for murder.
The mall, one of the most expensive enclosed shopping areas in Southern California, was plagued from its inception.
A million-dollar robbery, followed by several disruptive incidents created a major scandal from which the project could never recover.
- Turning to sports.
In regional basketball action last night John, "the Slammer"Hensdale stopped the Titans 127-98.
Hitting from inside- I think we got this one locked up.
Let's huddle.
- I got our motive.
- Mm-hmm? Okay.
Your typical love triangle.
Boy meets girl.
Girl is married.
Boy kills husband.
Boy and girl live happily ever after.
Could we assign names to these boys and girls? - Norman Austin and Mrs.
Doug West.
- You're kidding! I caught them in the middle of a very hot embrace.
- Body Heat.
- It certainly was.
Kathleen Turner, William Hurt.
Warner Bros.
, 1981.
A man and a woman plot to kill the woman's husband in order to make it look like an accident.
- What did you kids dig up? - It seems that our Mrs.
West is the sole beneficiary of a very large life insurance policy.
It could be a very nice windfall for a fading disc jockey facing forced retirement.
I found out that Tyler and Austin are losing audience.
- Good work, Mildred.
- But you're overlooking the man's alibi.
Norman Austin was on the air when the plane blew up.
I heard him.
It can't be Norman Austin.
I've listened to him forever.
The only thing he's guilty of is making bad jokes.
- Addlepated Theater.
- What about it? Bud does all those silly voices.
It's both of them- Tyler and Austin.
Steele, I think People magazine has turned your mind to mush.
No, I really think I have something here, Laura.
What are you grinning at, Mr.
Steele? Someone just tried to kill us.
Precisely, Miss Holt.
We must be on the right track.
Good mornin: Los Angeles.
Norman Austin here.
Along with Bud Tyler and this staggering statistic.
Somewhere in this country, there's a woman giving birth every one-and-a-half seconds.
Loose woman.
You know, Norm, all this talk about sushi I finally went out and got some last night.
Did you like it? Well, I didn't know.
But I got it home cooked it up, and it didn't taste half bad.
Slick operation.
- You win, Mr.
- Mm-hmm.
- How long have you been here? - Long enough.
For those of you ready to leave for work, let's open the KROT window and check out the traffic situation.
- Norman didn't come in yesterday morning, did he? - No.
- You covered for him, right? Yeah.
Not real pretty, is it, Bud? Take my advice and stay off the freeways and stay in bed 'cause here come the hits.
Norman- Norman, I'm glad you're here.
Wha-What am I gonna do? Play the record, Bud.
- I didn't want to believe it.
- Believe what? We know about you and Mrs.
Adultery's such a killer in this day and age? We know about the life insurance.
Very clever.
People hear you on the radio while you're out there disposing of Doug West's body.
And very fortunate that you have a talented partner with the ability to imitate your voice.
- Oh, now, wait a minute.
- I confess! I confess! - He did it.
- Bud! Norm, I did all I could.
She wasn't worth it.
She wasn't worth it! Bud, you've finally gone crazy.
Where were you yesterday morning? - I was with Marcia, okay? - Did anyone else see you? Of course not.
A woman's honor is at stake.
Can two killers alibi each other? I did not kill Doug West.
- Norm- - Bud, will you stop blubbering? I suppose you're gonna deny running us down last night in your car, yeah? Last night, I was at a lodge meeting.
You can check that one out.
- I drove the car.
- What? I wanted to protect you, Norm.
I wanted to scare them off.
You should've confided in me.
I'm your partner.
I care more about you than- than Marcia West ever could.
Your compassion is gonna put us both away, you nitwit.
I don't think you two should say another word until your lawyer is present.
Can we at least finish our show? Hey, buddy, put it here.
Yeah, that's super.
Okay, Steele, try the pipe.
All right.
Now, Miss Holt could you just slip in over here, please? Miss Holt? - I'm ready.
- In a minute, sweetheart.
In a minute.
Uh, Miss Holt I think our readers would like to know what it's like to work with such a sexy brilliant man as Mr.
Excuse me.
Obviously overcome.
Remington Steele.
Soon to be on newsstands everywhere.
Uh, Laura? I just can't believe they did it.
Um, Laura, as we found with the Atomic Man case our image of cherished celebrities can be a cruel distortion of the truth.
I thought Tyler and Austin were bright, upbeat guys but they're just a pair of over-the-hill disc jockeys.
- Precisely.
- Too worn down and too dumb to be able to pull off an ingenious crime like the one we're dealing with.
Yes? Norman Austin on the phone from jail and he wants to make a full confession.
- Is this what you call a formal confession? - Shut up, Bud.
You brought us in.
I figured you should be the ones to hear the real story.
- Tell 'em, Norm.
- I will, Bud.
Just don't worry.
Look, there's no reason to keep Bud here any longer.
I killed Doug West by myself.
Okay, Norman, you killed Doug.
How? - Shot him.
- Where? In the head.
It all happened so fast.
When you boarded the plane yesterday, did you gesture to the air controller? Yeah.
I saluted.
- No, you didn't.
You gave the thumbs-up.
- Right.
- My famous thumbs-up gesture.
- Then you flew to Malibu Canyon.
- That's right.
- What did you do then? - I bailed out.
- No, you landed.
- But I thought of bailing out.
- Okay, let's just end this little charade right now, shall we? - Neither of you killed Doug West.
- Does that mean we can go? I'm afraid not.
Why would you try something so foolish as a false confession, Norm? I can take a bum rap.
God knows this place isn't much worse than the station.
It's better hours too.
But look at him.
He won't last a month in here.
He's my partner.
He's been the butt of my jokes for He's covered for me more times than I can remember.
He wouldn't be in jail if he hadn't tried to protect me.
I thought it was time to finally try to pay him back.
- That was beautiful, Norm.
- Shut up, Bud.
Leon- Le- Will you calm down, Leon? Look, there's no need to kill yourself.
No, no.
There's no need to kill me either.
Look, we can still wrap this whole thing up by Thursday night, okay? Fine.
Get inspired, will you, Laura.
This is the tightest frame I've ever encountered.
Whoever's behind it had to know that Norm visited Marcia every other morning.
Now all we need to do is ferret someone out and pin it on them.
Hello? - Got something for you.
- And have I got something for you.
You need help.
Buzz off.
I thought you'd be interested in knowing who's moved into Tyler and Austin's drive-time slot.
- Who? - Rick Badham.
We're clutching at straws, Laura.
You want that magazine cover? Hmm? I'm clutching, I'm clutching.
- Rick was the one who hired us.
- What better way to deflect suspicion? If he wanted the drive-time slot so badly, why not kill Tyler and Austin outright - instead of framing them for Doug West's murder? - I don't know.
What do you say we follow our only lead and ask questions later? There's no need to get so snippy, Miss Holt.
Okay, Badham.
Let's see just how bad you really are.
Um, don't get too close, Laura, okay? - Relax, will you? You're making me nervous.
- Oh.
Do we know them? - I hope not.
- Please pull over! You've just won the KROT sticker giveaway! Go away! We don't want any stickers! Please pull over! Your bumper sticker- You win! - We don't want to win! - We don't listen to you! It's a trip for two to Hawaii! - Laura- - No! - Albums? - Cool Fire? - Miserable group.
- And what's your favorite radio station? Couldn't you listen to FM like everyone else? - Brilliant work.
- I thought it was awful.
Not the music, the quality of the copy.
It's a total counterfeit.
I checked with that record company, and that album isn't due out for another month yet.
Only a handful of deejays were given promotional copies.
Mildred swiped this one from the station.
It's a perfect setup.
Rick copies promotional albums.
And when the real album is released he's ready to flood the market with counterfeits.
What a wonderfully ingenious scheme.
Low overhead, high return a youthful market with a disposable income - continually looking for a sound that's easy to dance to.
- Mm-hmm.
- A man could make millions.
- Mm-hmm.
You're right.
What's this got to do with Doug West? That's what we're going to find out at the warehouse where Rick Badham picked up these albums.
I think I got something.
From the looks of these entries, Doug was flying a lot more than traffic reports.
Of course.
A plane would expand the distribution and make it almost impossible to trace anything back to the plant.
According to this, everything was being split three ways.
We know Doug and Rick.
Now all we need is the third man.
Well, if it isn't Orson Welles I can't be of any immediate help.
- The Third Man.
Joseph Cotten- - I got it the first time.
Rick, can you hear me? Bad news for the Badman.
Rick, why did you kill Doug West? I was in the studio.
Patched in tapes.
Doug got greedy.
Threatened to go to the police.
Who killed him, Rick? - Who killed Doug West? - Who did this to you? And at 7:02, this is Rick "the Badman"Badham.
You know I'm bad, and that's bad.
No, that's good.
And, boy, does my head hurt.
I really got clunked yesterday, but I'm all right now.
I'm good, and I've got quite a bad story to tell you but, uh, more about that later.
- No reason we have to listen.
- I hope this works.
Don't worry.
When the killer hears Rick he'll come back to finish what he started, and we'll nail him.
Careful, Mr.
For all you Tyler and Austin fans, the Badman has it on good authority - that your favorite deejays were released last night.
- Mrs.
West? - Out of my way! You couldn't have killed your husband.
You were with Norman.
- Where's Rick Badham? - Mrs.
West, I'm afraid you don't- He got Doug killed and framed my Norman for it! Mrs.
West, give me the gun.
You're not going to shoot anyone.
No one's gonna stop me! Mrs.
West, you couldn't have killed your husband.
You were with Norman.
West, put down that gun.
! I thought she was with Norman! - She was! - Then why is she shooting at us? - She's distraught.
- How many is that? I've been too busy ducking to count! Come on.
Come on.
- Rhymin' Lyman? - Bud? Norman.
I want to thank all you fine folks out there at KROT who gave me the chance to talk to all you troubled and perverted souls out there.
Though I'm leavin' the airwaves, don't despair 'cause I'm workin' on my own advice book- "Kandid"Krebs.
- So long.
- Thanks for stoppin' by, Doc Krebs.
- You are listening to Tyler and Austin.
- Yes, we're still on the air.
And we want to thank all those listeners who wrote us while we were in jail.
- Well, I didn't see those letters.
- Norm, sorry.
I got it right here.
And speaking of thanks, this next tune's for two special people out there- Remington Steele and Laura Holt.
So that little cretin Lyman killed Doug West.
Lyman was the mastermind behind the counterfeiting operation only he couldn't hold it together.
Doug West got greedy, so Lyman killed him.
He forced Rick into helping him cover up the murder but then Lyman got scared that Rick might talk.
- That's what they were fighting about when Rick got killed.
- Too bad about Rick.
Wasn't much of a deejay, but he worked cheap.
Oh, what the hell.
The show must go on.
Say, you don't think you could lend me Dr.
Krebs for a little while, do you? What kind of bucks we talking? On the other hand, sex therapists are a dime a dozen.
- Wait.
I'm easy.
- Hey, Leon.
! - Storm clouds, baby.
The cover's off.
- Why? New York liked it better when the two old deejays did it.
But this version's stronger.
It's more convoluted.
Too convoluted.
Who can follow it? What about the counterfeit record angle? They did that story two months ago.
Old news.
- We were so close, baby.
- Uh-huh.
You approached greatness, and then you veered left.
The truth happened to get in the way.
I hope this has been a lesson to you.
Don't be too hard on yourself, Mr.
Oh, what's a few more million adoring fans, more or less, eh? Would you settle for just one? Hmm.
Well, Miss Holt, as they say in the parlance let's blow this pop stand, shall we, eh? - I thought you'd never ask.
- Let's go.