Reservation Dogs (2021) s01e01 Episode Script

Fckin' Rez Dogs

DEEJAY: Hey, everyone out
there in Indian Territory, Oklahoma.
You're listening to K49--
Territory Jams.
I'm your humble host, cvpon Bruner.
Don't forget, this weekend,
listen for that Southern
drum Saturday witcha.
And we'll slow it down on Sunday
with some of that old-timey gospel.
Right now I'm taking you back
to my snagging days
with a little band called The Stooges
with "I Wanna Be Your Dog."
Sound like a shape-shifter song to me.
Anyway, take it away. Mvto.

WILLIE JACK: Fuck you guys saying?
- Let's just go, then.
- BEAR: Okay, let's go.
- WILLIE JACK: Skoden.
- Brra, brra!
- Get on, Cheese.
BEAR: Let's go, let's go,
let's go. Put your seat belt on.
- ELORA: Seat belt?
- Seat belt safety.
We're stealing a fucking chip truck.
I do not give a shit.
Now, put your seat belt on
- or we're not going. Okay.
- Jesus Christ, okay.
- Weirdo.
- BEAR: Willie Jack, let's go!
- What the fuck?
- Come on, come on.
I want you here ♪
Now we're ♪
Face ♪
And I'll lay ♪
What do you mean, it's not cool?
Like, what if we crashed right now
and you smashed through the windshield?
- Would that be cool?
- I'm just saying
it doesn't scream "badass"
when you have to fucking buckle up
- before jacking a car.
- Truck.
- Ugh.
- Left. Left.
- No, this way's faster.
- But this way goes past Big.
- Shit.
- BEAR: It's all good. It's all good.
- Just act cool. Get back there.
- ELORA: I am cool.
You act cool, safety police.
MAN: subsequent years, the
Warren Commission concluded
that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone
in firing three shots from
the book depository building,
striking Kennedy.
Well, come on ♪
Detractors claim it's impossible
to accurately shoot that many rounds

- CHEESE: Save the chips! They're falling out.
WILLIE JACK: Wait, my mom's texting me.
CHEESE: Might have lost a few bags.
Now I'm. ♪
Now what?
I don't know. Try honking.
- All right, here we go.
- Skoden.
- Stoodis.
Fucking meth head zombie apocalypse.
Anyone follow you?
No. No one's following.
Yeah, just like his Insta.
We ain't amateurs, man.
(SNIFFS) Right.
That's solid.
Kenny Boy's waiting for you
inside his office.
That's your cue.
Get it? 'Cause I Cue.
- BEAR: Yeah, we get it.
- Okay.
- If anything happens, forget it.
- Shh.
I'll kick him in the nuts
and then you grab
- first thing you see and throw it at him.
- Yeah, yeah, I'm about that.
About that. Oh, wait. Wait,
wait, wait for me. Wait for me.
WILLIE JACK: Oh, shit. What up?
- Keep an eye on the chips.
- Gotcha.
So, if I tried ♪
To get some love ♪
Ansel said you're good thieves.
Best in town.
It is a small town.
What's your names?
- That's Willie Jack.
- Sup?
And, uh, she's Elora Danan.
Like the baby in Willow?
That's a great movie.
That's a Ron Howard joint.
(BLOWS) Did you know
Elora Danan was played
by a set of identical twin girls?
Kate and Ruth Greenfield.
They used to switch out
playing the character
so neither would get too fatigued.
You don't want a crying baby on set.
It rattles the crew.
My name's Cheese.
My pronouns are he, him and his.
I'm a Native American.
- Oh. Thank you.
What is it? Be free with your words.
- Go, Bear.
- Yeah, sorry, sorry. Um
Is it cool if we can keep the chips?
- The chips?
- Yeah.
Give me a buck.
- J-Just a
- Just a buck.
BEAR: Okay.
You can have the chip.
- "Chip."
Now what happens is you
just get up and walk out now.
You stand up, and you just go.
- Okay.
- KENNY BOY: You j You just get out.
Dance with the mantis,
note the slim chances ♪
Chant this anthem,
swing like Pete Sampras ♪
Taking it straight
to Big Man on Campus ♪
Brandish your weapon
or get dropped to the canvas ♪
Scandalous, made the metro panic ♪
Cause static with or without ♪
BEAR: Hello? Oh, it's on.
Cool. Sup, guys? This is my hideout.
I can't tell you the location
because, you know,
it's a hidden location, so
you're not gonna find that out.
Willie Jack did that.
She got some good hands.
This is Big's cruiser.
He thinks he's a badass,
but he ain't shit.
Is Big in there?
No, he's not even in there.
And this is where we eat.
- Come say hi. Come say hi.
- This is Cleo. This is Cleo.
- Hi.
- BEAR: We got Rob.
- Hello.
BEAR: Cleo's catfish is life.
Look at that.
"Catfish is life."
This is Daniel. He died last year.
We're having a memorial for him
in a couple of days.
RIP, my dawg.
This place killed him.
- I thought it was
- BEAR: That's why we're saving our money,
so we can leave this dump
before it kills us, too.
Toss that money. (WHOOPS)
- Let that rain! Yeah!
WILLIE JACK: Good job!
Fuck bitches, get money.
Okay. Someone grab the lights.
Uh, let's hear it for Bear, everyone.
- Wasn't even done yet, but okay.
- I'm at a loss. (CLEARS THROAT)
Pretty sure some of that
was illegal. Go sit down, Bear.
- No? Oh.
- No. Thank you.
- Tell your friends.
- I don't have any.
get some, then. Fuck.
- I got friends.
- No, you don't.
Till now I'm doing great ♪
ELORA: Fuck is that?
You looking at? Fuck.
You look as strong
as you did before ♪
(WHOOPS) Banging.
She likes my hot chips flaming.
- Heck, yeah.
Got a new song.
It go like this. (CLEARS THROAT)
We're making it drop when
the Glock go pop, pop, pop ♪
Bullets can't be stopped,
I let 'em in, chop ♪
And the Glock go pop, pop, pop ♪
You better believe
we shutting down shop ♪
When the Glock go pop, pop, pop. ♪
- They don't look like bandits.
Let's go.
Let's go get White Steve.
California, here we come.
(dog barking in distance)
RITA: Staring at a son ♪
That she just can't touch ♪
If at any time he's in a jam ♪
She'll be by his side ♪
But he doesn't realize ♪
He hurts her so much ♪
Don't go chasing waterfalls ♪
Please stick to the rivers and the. ♪
What do you want?
I got to pee.
Well, I'm not finished in here.
Go outside.
- You working tonight?
- No.
I'm going out.
- Going out with who?
- With my friends, Grandpa.
How else am I gonna find you a dad?
- I've got a dad.
You got an out-of-work
Indian artist dad.
That's like not having a dad at all.
Don't you think it's time
we find you, like,
a lawyer dad or a doctor dad?
Fuck that.
- Dad's a rapper, not an artist.
Out-of-work Indian rapper.
That's even worse.
Bear, pee outside.
- Love you.
- Love you.
I seen a rainbow yesterday ♪
But too many storms
have come and gone ♪
Leaving a trace
of not one God-given ray. ♪
- ELORA: Why'd you put
- the money in the tank, anyway?
- Shit.
'Cause it's safe.
Told you guys not to put me
in charge of the money.
- My family has a money curse.
- BEAR: Oh, shit.
- Cool it, cool it, cool it, cool it.
- Act normal.
Y'all wouldn't have seen
a stolen food truck, would you?
- Huh?
- No.
Mm. Crazy.
Broad daylight.
Someone stole a truck.
Apparently it was full of chips.
Damn truck
full of chips.
I never seen anything like that.
Getting crazy out here.
Yeah, criminals getting bold.
Shit, just last week,
we had two cars stolen.
- BEAR: Cheese. Come on, let's go.
ELORA: Come on, come on,
come on, come on. Willie J-J
WILLIE JACK: Quit stressing me out!
Somebody ripped all the damn copper
out of 20 different streetlamps.
- BEAR: Yo, hurry up.
- WILLIE JACK: Come on!

BIG: All the steaks were stolen
over at Paterson's Grocery.
Took all of them, too.
Old lady Louise, she had her
weed edibles--
you know, for her cataracts--
stolen right off her front porch.
I think I'm having a heart attack.
Yo, I need to call my mom.
- I don't feel shit.
Who steals from an old lady?
It's no good.
And the graffiti.

Y'all haven't seen anything like that?
Penises and boobies and whatnot?
BIG: Huh.
All right.
You know,
tell you the truth
that's not what I'm most worried about.
I am more concerned
about the other things
that I've been noticing.
Supernatural stuff.
You know old man Fixico,
down at the end of the village?
- Uh-huh.
- BIG: Ah,
claims he saw the Deer Lady
walking around.
Deer Lady ain't been seen
in these parts in a long time.
My uncle was married to Deer Lady
for, fuck, like, three years?
- Bullshit.
- That's what he said.
Got dirty pictures, apparently.
Hey, say, Bear.
(GRUNTS) Is your mama home?
No, she just left.
Well, you tell her Big stopped by.
- Shut up. Shut up.
WILLIE JACK: I'll snag your mom.
- Ooh.
- Fuck off, man.
- That's not what's happening.

ELORA: Okay, we should try and spend
only two dollars apiece on catfish.
And if my math's correct,
then we could be in California
as soon as two months.
For real? That soon?
Yes. That soon.
I just thought it would take longer.
- Put the money away. Put the money away.
- Shit.
'Sup, puto?
'Sup, bitches?

JACKIE: This is our street, bitches!

Aho! Young Warrior.
Looks as though you've tasted
the white man's lead.
- It's only paintballs.
- I have had
many brothers and sisters
meet the same fate in my time.
Are you Crazy Horse
- or Sitting
- No, no, no.
(CHUCKLES): I'm not
one of those awesome guys.
No, I'm more of your, uh
I'm more of your unknown warrior.
Yeah. You know my name?
William Knife-Man. (EXCLAIMS)
I was at the Battle
of Little Bighorn. That's right.
I didn't kill anybody,
but I fought bravely.
Well, I didn't actually fight.
I actually didn't even get
into the fight itself.
I came over that hill
real rugged, like (EXCLAIMS)
Saw Custer like that.
That yellow-hair. He was sitting there.
Son of the morning star,
that guy right there.
Fuck, I really hated him.
So I went after him.
But then the damn horse
hit a gopher hole.
Fucking rolled over and squashed me.
I died there.
This horse, actually.
Little shit.
And now I'm meant
to travel the spirit world,
find lost souls like you.
The spirit world is cold.
My nipples are always hard.
I'm always hungry.
Got it.
Being a warrior is not always easy.
You and your thuggy-ass friends--
what are you doing for your people?
It's easy to be bad.
It is hard
to be a warrior with dignity.
Remember that.
In my time, we gave everything.
We died for our people.
We died for our land.
What are you gonna do?
What are you gonna fight for?
(LAUGHS) I'm just fucking with you.
But for real, though.
Listen to what I said.
Marinate on that. Aho.
Let's go. Ha!
- WILLIE JACK: Sober up.
- Dang. They came through straight blasting!
- Bam!
- Sound like Mars Attacks!
Tat-tat-tat! Tat-tat-tat-tat!
- Who the fuck was that?
Are y'all more spirits?
No, man. It's Mose and Mekko.
We got the same uncle.
I'm gonna go get those dickheads back.
What kind of gang
wears both red and blue?
NDN mafia. Couldn't make up their minds
if they wanted
to be Bloods or Crips more.
- Maybe they're Blips.
- Or maybe they're Cruds.
- Hey!
- Hey!
Why not just wear purple?
Who are they?
- Why they in the village?
- MOSE: Oh, they're new.
The founder's auntie just moved
over there by Keith's house.
- And she fine, too.
- Yeah. And they all cousins.
I guess some chick named Jackie
with blonde hair was the
leader of a gang in the city.
I heard about a bitch
named Jackie at school.
And when she move here,
they initiated her cousins.
They probably killed some people.
And they been looking for y'all.
- Why they looking for us?
- MEKKO: 'Cause they heard
y'all were the reservation bandits.
- Who told them that?
- Fuck.
That's my bad. See
- BEAR: Goddamn it.
- Shit.
MOSE: I kind of told them
y'all was the toughest in town,
and they asked me
what y'all gang name was.
- And that's all I could think of.
- BEAR: Man,
why would you tell them
we're in a gang, bro?
- I always wanted to be in a gang.
- MEKKO: I guess
they trying
to take you off the throne now.
- Take you out to powwow. Something.
- MEKKO: Mm-hmm.
They wanted us to join
their gang too, but, uh,
kind of want to see how this plays out.
- Yo, be careful. They seem serious.
We making 'em drop when
the Glock go pop, pop, pop ♪
Bullets can't be
stopped, I let 'em in, chop ♪
Uh, order 24, you're up.
ROB: Hey, Cheese?
If you're gonna steal something,
you got to let me know, okay?
So I can write it off on the books.
It's easy as that.
Extra tartar sauce.
- Y'all look beat to hell.
And you got mustard on your face.
- I got shot.
- CLEO: Ah. Mustard gun.
Y'all gonna turn into catfish,
you eat so much of it.
- He doesn't know it was us.
- BEAR: You don't know that, man.
What if he seen us?
ROB: Mississippi Miles, my man.
Is it true? You really taking off?
Yep. Guess a truck
can't get stole on your watch
without management
getting all pissed off.
Probably best with the run
of bad luck I've had since.
My wife left me
when she heard I lost my job.
- Broke my heart.
- ROB: I'm so sorry to hear that.
- Could be worse, right?
- MILES: Could it?
- She took everything. Now I'm bankrupted.
- Hey. Don't.
MILES: Couldn't even
afford to buy no food.
Only thing left in the house
was a bag of sugar.
Now, you know
what's gonna happen: diabetes.
And they talking
about taking my foot off,
and my toes are black.
I'm gonna lose my leg.
We wasn't designed to have one leg.
Ain't no flamingo.
Oh, you little piece of shit.
Think you gon' get away with that shit?
Hell, no.
When I catch your ass,
I'm gon' kick your ass.
Rob, it's been a rough week.
Probably won't be around
much longer in this world.
And the bad guy gang's gon' get you.
The meth head gang's gon' get you.
But it could be worse.
Yeah, I guess it
guess it could be.
Tell you what,
you come back on your way out,
and maybe I'll give you a tank of gas
- or something.
- MILES: Hell, yeah.
You take care of yourself, Rob.
Enjoy your life, young 'uns.
The smiles. The laughter.
The little things that make you happy.
'Cause out the blue,
some ruffians
could jack your damn truck,
and life take a different turn.
Snap of your finger.
(SNIFFS) Yeah.
BEAR: Fuck off.
What's wrong with you?
What you mean?
I don't know.
You've been acting weird again.
Probably depressed. Did you know
depression affects one
in five Native Americans?
- You want to go hit a lick, bro?
- BEAR: No, I'm good.
And, no, I'm not depressed, either.
I am.
It's all good, bro.
Don't y'all feel bad?
WILLIE JACK: All the time.
Fuck, weren't you listening? Shit.
Bad about what?
BEAR: Just all the
crimes we do, you know?
Like the driver.
We really ruined
that guy's life. For real.
I mean, right now, they're
probably cutting off his legs
from the diabetes we gave him.
What if we're the bad guys here?
You know?
I think we should give the money back.
You fucking crazy?
Who cares?
- About that old man? It's dog-eat-dog here.
- Come on.
Fuck that. I ain't giving shit back.
We got that money fair and square.
Fair and square?
Elora, we stole a goddamn truck.
- Like, how's that fair?
- Yeah. Fair and fucking square.
Yeah, fair and fucking square!
BEAR: I don't know.
Seeing him and how
fucked-up his life is
and seeing how everyone else's
life's so fucked-up around here
got me thinking
like we are the bad guys.
- You got to see that. Come on.
- This place is shit.
Fuck this town, Bear.
- You don't owe anyone anything.
- Uh
Okay? Fuck the village.
Fuck the people in it.
What about Daniel? If Daniel
was still here, he wouldn't
That's why Daniel's gone.
'Cause this place killed him.
You know, I'm not letting it kill me.
I'm getting the fuck out
with or without y'all.
BEAR: Elora, come
on. I didn't mean it
Well, now I'm depressed.
Take it, baby ♪
Make it easy ♪
Don't let the fast-paced crowd ♪
Keep you away from doing anything ♪
Right now ♪
Make your own way ♪
Like the first day. ♪
BEAR: Daniel?
Just a stone-cold effort ♪
- Hey, bitch.
- Hey, bitch.
Willie Jack made meat pies.
Brought you one.
Mvto. (GRUNTS)
Damn, this is good.
The best.
Are you mad at me?
I brought the money.
For what?
My cut of the truck.
We won't have Willie Jack's
or Cheese's cut.
They spent most of it.
But maybe the meth heads
will sell the truck
back to us for half.
We can tell them it's de-appreciated
- or-or whatever.
- Then what?
Fuck you mean?
We deliver it back to the store,
leave it there,
and they'll tell the driver.
He'll get his life back. I don't know,
probably cure his diabetes
or something.
Isn't that what you wanted?
I guess so, yeah.
Well, let's get the others.
(EXHALES) Well, here it is.
Or what's left of it.
Ansel will give you the keys
and you guys can just go ahead
and drive it on out of here.
Yeah, drive it on out of here.
Hey, you guys lost this battle,
but you live to fight again.
Turn the page like Bob Seger.
Hoka hay.
It's Lakota
for "'tis a good day to die."
- We aren't Lakota.
- KENNY BOY: Nobody's perfect.
- Oh.
- KENNY BOY: Hoka hay, children, hoka hay!
ANSEL: I thought it
was "hakuna matata."
Joey, why don't you ♪
Come around and see me ♪
Got plenty of room ♪
Now that I live alone ♪
Last time I saw you ♪
You were walking in the meadow ♪
Your face was sweaty ♪
And your outfit was gone ♪
One year without you, douchebag.
Lot of shit's happened.
Cheese got shot in the head
the other day.
I wish you could
have fucking seen that.
Sometimes I feel like ♪
ALL: Love you, bitch.
Love you, bitch.
Could you remind me ♪
Take me back for a night? ♪
NDN mafia, bitches.
Is that copper?
Our fucking copper.
That's our fucking money.
(SIGHS) Fuck. Just go.
- MEKKO: Yo!
- MOSE: Hey!
NDN mafia been telling everybody
they at war with y'all.
- Shit.
- Told 'em y'all was the Reservation Dogs.
Since y'all didn't like
rez bandits. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
- Yeah, they said this is they streets.
- Yeah,
what he said. Finna to go down.
Fuck this.
Let's just pool our money together
and get the fuck out of here sooner.
You really want to let
these guys run us out?
Better protect our homes, man.
We got to be like vigilantes,
not criminals.
I like that.
Cool vigilantes.
Nah, I don't like that shit.
I'm not gonna let these
fuckers run me out.
Not today. Not ever.
Got to protect this place.
Fuck. Skoden.
Hey ♪
Hey ♪
Fuckin' Rez Dogs.
Hey ♪
CHEESE: Can I be Mr. Camouflage?
Light, lightning and the thunder ♪
- The sun, moon, stars and the hunger ♪
- Hey ♪
Abundance in bundles ♪
- Lessons and troubles, towers and tunnels ♪
- Hey ♪
- Views and valleys, waves and peaks ♪
- Hey ♪
What streets you from, son? ♪
- Planet Earth ♪
- Hey ♪
And ain't scared of no Mars attack ♪
- What type of bars is that? ♪
- Hey ♪
- Stay off my jack ♪
- Hey ♪
I'm out they corny riot garments ♪
- Top five Dylan-in in on 'em ♪
- Hey ♪
Superfly Snuka top rope ♪
- Eagle-divin' on 'em ♪
- Hey ♪
You why a lion, homey?
You won't play ♪
- With my emotions, Smokey ♪
- Hey ♪
Big Chief, heart rate ♪
- Big beat, B-E-Y Yasiin ♪
- Hey ♪
- Straitjacket come clean ♪
- Hey ♪
B. I. G. said it was a dream,
now it's a livin' thing ♪
Aw, fuck. Goddamn it.
- Hey ♪
- Original Nation ♪
- We pon solid with with ♪
- Hey ♪
True and living, you know
we're true and living ♪
- R. E. D., A Tribe Called ♪
- Hey ♪
Hey. ♪
Next Episode