Reservation Dogs (2021) s01e03 Episode Script

Uncle Brownie

♪Out of sight, out of mind ♪♪
- What do you suppose that means?
- What, honey?
You see the graffiti
on that sign back there?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I think it said "Land Back."
Didn't it?
Well, what do you suppose it means?
Well I reckon the Indians did it.
Well, sure they did.
- But I don't understand.
- Hmm?
They mean the whole damn thing?
They want the whole damn thing back?
Well, I suppose so.
That's just not possible.
I could see some of it back.
You reckon that's what
they mean? Some of it back?
Or all the damn thing?
I mean, the whites did kill
an awful lot of them
and took the land.
So, America ought to be ashamed
of itself.
Well, they got the casinos.
I hear they get paid
a thousand dollars a month
just to be an Indian.
Will you quit being a shit-ass?
Well, that's romantic.
This ride is not fun anymore.
And no, they don't.
And whatever they get, they deserve.
Well, let's not get into
a political discussion here.
Let's just enjoy the Sunday drive.
You know I am part Indian.
Yeah, and I'm part millionaire.
(quietly): Yeah, you wish.
- What's that? No, no, no. That!
- Well, I said
- Oh, shit-ass!
- (thuds)
(exhales) God.
I bet some old white folks did this.
You want to put him in the trunk
and we can make backstrap tonight?
For real?
I swear, if you get blood
on my grandma's car
We'll put a tarp under it.
We got one in the back, right?
I'll get the legs. Open the trunk.
Gross, gross, gross.
♪Bona fide, yeah ♪♪
♪Oh, so bona fide, yeah ♪♪
♪Oh, so bona fide ♪♪
Wait, so you think your uncle
knows how to do a curse?
A curse?
I told you I have their hair.
Didn't you say he was,
like, tradish or something?
I mean, yeah, he's tradish,
but I don't think he's like
a medicine man or a wizard.
BEAR: How'd you even get their hair
in the first place?
I thought you were joking.
She cuts their hair.
Fuck, it looks like
they have bugs, too.
- Ooh.
- Disgusting.
(hip-hop playing over radio)
WILLIE JACK: We're in the boonies.
BEAR: Yeah, Elora,
feels like we're lost right now, man.
We've been driving around in circles,
and I still have no idea why
we're gonna go look for him.
I already told you,
he knows how to fight.
Never fucking listen, man.
Your uncle's badass.
Legend has it he knocked out
ten people in under two minutes.
(speaking Navajo)
(men shouting)
- Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam.
- For real?
(men shouting)
- Time.
- (cheering)
I counted ten. That's a new record.
Two minutes?
- Fuck.
- Legendary.
Let's go find him, then.
Fuck, man! Geez.
All right. This is it.
- This? Are you sure?
- Mm-hmm.
Just bones at
a shape-shifter's house?
ELORA: He's not a shape-shifter.
He's your uncle, right?
You for sure about that?
Yeah. Well, he's my cousin/uncle.
He grew up with my mom,
like her cousins,
but he was raised by my grandma
for a while.
Mm, so that's like Cookie's brother.
What if he doesn't want to see you?
- (engine turns off)
- (music stops)
WILLIE JACK: Ultimate shape-shifter?
Yeah, I'm not going to the door.
- Hey, Uncle!
- Ah, fuck. Hell nah.
- Not an owl!
- Oh, my God.
Yo, that's not a good sign.
- Goddamn.
- Yeah, no.
I think I'm gonna have a heart attack.
I told you we shouldn't
have came here, man!
ELORA: Uncle Brownie!
BEAR: Where are you taking us, bro?
The sign says "stay out, fuckers."
Oh, uh, Uncle, it's me.
It's Elora Danan.
Uh, Elora Danan. Your niece.
And I'm Madmartigan.
Sure we at the right place?
Um I'm, uh, I'm Cookie's girl.
Oh! Nephew. Cousin. Niece.
You're not so little no more.
I didn't recognize you.
Uh, I'm sorry, I don't have
no money. See yourselves out.
Oh, we don't want any money.
Well, regardless,
you gotta leave, uh
It's, uh, not safe for kids.
There's traps and bombs
and all sort of things
hanging around here.
Too dangerous.
You a shape-shifter?
Fuck you say?
Don't you lay that on me.
That bad medicine comes
out of your mouth
and squirts all over my face.
Maybe you're a shape-shifter.
(spitting continues)
Get out of here. I got work to do.
(shovel clangs)
Hey. Ha-ha!
Whoo-hee! Hot doggie! (laughing)
Oh Oh! (laughing)
Oh! Oh!
Thank you, creator! My medicine!
(war cry)
It's really good old stuff.
(sniffs, sighs) Look at that.
Finally found it.
Man, I buried that 15 years ago.
Why don't you just get
your weed card? It's legal now.
Cause I ain't no fool, fool.
I ain't smoking no
government-sanctioned weed.
GMO nightmare!
Plus, I don't like the new weed.
I-I like this old shit.
- Same age as me.
- Yeah.
Burns right.
You can smoke 15 joints in one sitting.
Oh, fuck. 15-year-old bug. Never mind.
Yuck. How could you not see that?
- (Brownie exclaiming)
- That is mean!
- (bug fluttering)
- Wow.
Sheesh. What is it you want, anyway?
We need your help, Uncle.
We need to learn to fight.
This one just got his ass beat.
(scoffs) You know,
I don't mess with kids.
You know, kids just slow you down.
I told you he can't fight, man.
Let's just go.
I can't fight? What?
I could've stabbed Andrew
Jackson in his ugly old face
- if I wanted to.
- I was just telling them
that you hold the record
for most knockouts in one night
at Ol' Muggy's Bar. Ten people.
Ten people? (scoffs)
I knocked out 20 people one night.
(men shouting)
Plus a cop.
- (grunting)
- Time.
- (cheering)
I counted 20, including the cop.
Watch it. Watch for the fist.
Ah, the heat was too hot in town.
That's when I became a recluse,
and I moved out here.
I only go to town to borrow some
flower from my cousin, Frank.
I live off the land, mainly.
Looks like you go to Sonics a lot.
Why are you here?
I don't have to listen to you.
And you're all just kids.
I don't like kids. Leave me alone.
(sighs) All right.
- Fine then.
- Sko.
It's just a waste of time.
(Willie Jack speaks Navajo)
I never saw that picture of her before.
There she is.
Ol' Cookie. She was a good one.
We grew up like siblings, me and her.
You could see her smile
from the highway.
I don't, I don't remember her.
Yeah, you were probably
just little, ennit?
Yeah. I wa-- I was three.
Three years old.
You think, uh, you could
tell me more about her, Uncle?
No, I can't.
All right.
Hey. I I can't because I'll cry.
It's not because I don't want to.
See you, Uncle.
WILLIE JACK: Fuck that shape-shifter.
Okay. Okay. I-I'll, uh,
teach you all a few things.
But you gotta take me to town
to sell my weed.
Give me 30 bucks.
- Oh
- 30 bucks?
Sounds good.
Fuck. Good. All right.
I got the front seat. (chuckles)
What the fuck is that?
- Fuck.
- Fuck.
- Oh, fuck!
- Shit, it got bigger.
What the fuck is that?
I'm not getting in that car.
It's a deer that some white people hit
and left on the side of the road.
Man, that's nasty.
You put it in the trunk?
We were gonna cook it up
tonight for backstraps.
Well, you got to gut it and butcher it.
But you don't put it in the trunk.
- Aye-lah!
- Yeah, that's no fucking good.
- Maybe we should move it out?
- ELORA: All right.
- Fuck that. You guys can.
- No, no, don't take it out here!
Take it to your own fucking house.
Okay, okay, okay.
- Kids.
- Uncle, you coming or what?
- They slow you down. For fuck's sake.
- Get the hell in,
or else you're not
getting your 30 bucks.
All I do is smoke.
That's the creator's medicine.
That alcohol, that's devil's work.
Remember that.
Just smoke herb.
My mom and dad won't let me.
Well, you're too young.
That's why I told you guys
to stay home.
- Can I get a drag?
- No.
You're not old enough. (chuckles)
Are you gonna teach us
how to scrap or what?
Yeah, what's some fighting lessons?
Oh, uh, just sit back.
You'll find out.
- What?
- Well,
the first training
in training is patience.
- Bullshit.
- Oh
- BROWNIE: Fellas!
- MAN: The fuck?
Cvponies. (chuckles)
Have I got some weed for you.
Hey, what'd we used to say?
Uh, "No stems, no seeds,
"that we don't need,
Acapulco Gold is some badass weed."
Is that like OG Boogeyman?
'Cause that's all I fucks with.
It's purple.
No, it's not purple. It's green.
- Thugga-wugga.
- That's Hank's cousin.
- It's not that new shit.
- (sniffs) Oh!
Nah, thanks, man.
That smell like lawn trimmings.
We get ours from the dispensary, man.
Oh, what are you, a couple of narcs?
Why don't you buy some
homemade, old-style, homegrown weed?
Man, this ain't medieval times.
Take your lemonade bottle and go.
- (grunts)
- Broke-ass motherfucker.
Yeah. Punk.
- Ah, fuck you.
- What the fuck?
Fuck you, too.
("Lucky Penny" by JD McPherson playing)
♪Jokers turn to kings
and diamonds to dust ♪♪
♪I tried to beat the house,
but every hand was a bust ♪♪
♪Another day ends, another begins ♪♪
♪Another night ♪♪
So, like, are you gonna give
us any fighting lessons, or--
- See, I had you.
- (Willie Jack laughs)
Okay, well, I wasn't ready,
so that was not fair.
Always be ready.
That's all it takes: strike first.
Also, aim for the back of the head.
When you punch somebody in the face,
you just give them a black eye.
Aim for the back of the head
and it's lights out.
♪This lucky penny's been
nothing but bad luck ♪♪
Check that out.
That's some good-ass weed.
- Yeah, good stuff.
- Nah, man.
That's ditch weed, man.
Thanks for nothin'.
- BEAR: What happened, Uncle?
- What is it?
Man, I used to sell weed just like
The game's changed, Uncle.
People don't smoke
that 1990s weed no more.
Yeah, it's legal now, and it's
way stronger than what you got.
Well, I just like growing my own.
You know, I told you
I live off the land.
And Sonics.
You should try the dispensary, though.
They sell weed.
Maybe they'll want that dusty-ass shit.
Ah! Told you.
You got to be ready.
Okay, Uncle.
Let's try that dispensary.
Mm-hmm. Hmm.
- Hey.
- Mm-mm.
- Do you mind?
- Nah, go ahead, man.
Test the merchandise.
Oh, yeah. Fuck. Iron lungs.
- (coughing)
- (Brownie laughs)
- (coughing loudly)
- Good shit, eh?
(coughing continues)
From '72.
(clears throat)
It's harsh.
That's right. Right to the brain.
No, no, man. I can't move this.
It's like smoking Pop Rocks.
Pop, pop, pop, right?
All-all in there. I just
- I can't help you, man.
- What is it, man?
I've got-- shh-- two plants
from the same batch back home.
It keeps me medicated.
I don't know how
to tell you this, but it's
it's just really old.
I just-- and no disrespect to you,
as an elder. You got
your-your grandpersons here.
I want to be respectful
in front of them, but it's, honestly,
this weed, it's like an antique.
Hey, you should get Uncle high, too.
Show him what he's missing, fa.
- No. Let's go. Let's just go.
- OTHERS: Yeah
No, no, no, no,
I got something for you.
(clearing throat)
- Oh
- Step into the time machine.
("Galaxy (I'm the Ruler)"
by Bill Campbell playing)
MAN: Yeah
(coughing loudly)
Oh, hey. It's that good weed.
♪Ruler of the galaxy. ♪♪
BEAR: You didn't say anything.
Are you okay?
Man, that was some badass weed, man.
(all laughing)
I ain't been this high since 1967.
(laughs) Pauwv?
You know how to do, like
like a curse?
Like, if I give you some hair?
You mean like bad luck medicine?
Yeah, I know how to do
a bad luck curse. That's easy.
WILLIE JACK: For real?
Hook it up, then.
- Now, whose hair is that?
- Our enemies.
Those are the people
that kicked his ass?
I don't want nothing to do--
That's crazy.
You don't be taking people's hair.
You know that bad luck medicine
can turn back on you tenfold.
Don't mess with bad medicine.
Oh, now I got to smoke another joint.
(Brownie chuckling)
Mmm. (laughs)
(Brownie mumbling with mouth full)
How did weed change so much?
Mm, white man's weed.
They cracked the code, man.
Maybe we should get you home, Uncle.
Yeah, my mom's expecting me.
I still gotta sell my weed.
That was the deal.
The deal was you were gonna
train us how to fight.
Well, I have been training you.
BEAR: What do you mean?
That's how indigenous people teach.
We ain't like white people,
you just get a book
and then you're supposed
to remember something.
You listen. You learn.
A warrior has
to take a beating sometimes.
That's how he gets stronger. You know?
It's-it's all about
getting back up again.
Yeah. Mm.
Oh! There. I'm teaching you
to be a warrior by being a warrior.
And you got right back up.
Yeah, you did.
BEAR: If you're such a warrior,
then why do you stay home all the time?
Yeah, all warrior'd up at home. Fuck.
Wasting your skill.
You still knocked out 20 guys
in one night
- at Ol' Muggy's Bar.
- (chuckles softly)
That was pretty legendary.
WILLIE JACK: I'll see for myself.
Well, I know some folks that
might appreciate my weed.
Yeah. Some old-schools.
Either that or
watch me get my ass kicked.
(indistinct chatter)
What the hell?
What in the fuck are you doing here?
Calm down.
I know you didn't expect me
to walk through the door today,
but I brought my nieces and nephew,
so I hope we can keep it cordial.
Cordial? You put my nephew
in the hospital!
Yeah, right, right. I'm an asshole,
but so was your nephew.
I mean, just hear me out.
Yeah, well, last time you was
in here, you was acting crazier
than a peach orchard boar,
running around
knocking everybody out.
It is true, huh?
So you're saying he really
gave 20 people the minutes
in one night?
20? Try 30.
And two cops.
You're deadly, Uncle.
Hell, he knocked me out too,
and all of these'ns.
Yeah, I-I'm not happy about my past.
- (scoffs)
- Well, to be honest, I
did a line of meth that night.
I thought it was cocaine.
But I could've knocked out 40 people.
- I was not right in my head.
- I'll say.
You know, I didn't mean
to break your nose.
I've regretted that ever since, but
hell, that was your meth I did.
Hey, look, I-I got
a-a 15-year-old jar of weed.
- (laughter)
- We don't want to buy
your old ditch weed.
It's legal now.
Yeah, I know, but just
consider it a peace offering.
And-and they'll buy
three rounds for everybody.
As long as you don't mind
the cheap stuff.
They-they owe me 30 bucks.
And, uh, he's also
got backstrap for y'all.
WILLIE JACK: Fuck yeah, the good kind.
You shouldn't brag about that.
It's probably spoiled.
Backstrap is like bars of gold
around here.
Beer and backstrap?
Sounds like a party to me.
Oh, and hell,
we've missed you too, Brownie.
Well, what do y'all say?
I say "fuck yeah"
to beer and backstrap!
(all whooping)
- (hands slapping bar)
- Brownie!
You got a tequila shot with,
like, lime or lemon
You're too young, shit-ass.
All right, let's get her out of there.
Uh, everyone grab a leg.
And on three, we'll give her a pull.
- Yeah. Everybody ready?
- Ugh.
One, two, three.
(all grunting)
(Brownie sighs)
(grunts) Man, it's all weighted down.
- Fat bitch.
- All right, let's give it another shot, okay?
- Yep.
- All right.
- (sighs) It's so dumb.
- One, two, three!
- Fuck!
- (screaming)
- Oh!
- Ah!
Oh, man. You have
anything to wipe my face?
- Oh, my God.
- Shit!
- Take this, Uncle.
- Oh. Thank you.
- (others muttering)
- Oh, my God.
BEAR: Get this shit off of me, man.
- (Elora sighs)
- Yeah.
I-I'm sorry, Uncle.
You still would have been home
if I hadn't come to your house.
Exactly. I would have still been home.
Bear was right.
Ashamed to show my face.
You look like a ghost.
She'd always call me "brother."
Even though I wasn't her blood brother.
Just like you call me Uncle.
That's real family.
- (door opens)
- BARTENDER: Brownie!
You better not be bullshitting
about that backstrap!
Oh, no. No, we got it.
Gonna chop her right up.
You've got shit on your face.
(door closes)
Thank you.
(Brownie groans)
(knife squishing)
Fuck, that's gross.
("Flight of the Eagle" by Om playing)
What's that?
The hair of my enemies.
I tried to get Uncle
to put a curse on it,
but he says I shouldn't do that.
Let me see it.
I'll see what I can do.
♪Ascend ♪♪
♪A light skyward to the field rise ♪♪
♪Claimant to freedom ♪♪
♪Rise the erudite ♪♪
♪And penitent to sky and to send ♪♪
♪To send retainer ♪♪
♪Soalesced a vision ♪♪
♪Boards the skybarge to freedom. ♪♪
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