Robot Chicken s01e06 Episode Script
Vegetable Fun Fest
It's alive! Aah! Eee! Ha ha ha ha! Eee! Ha ha ha ha! I have millions of these! Ha ha ha! Oh, my God! Look at the time! The bags! Just grab the bags.
Oh! My hat.
Where is my hat? Oh, wait.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I need to make this happen.
There's no time.
Are you kidding me? No time! Oh, no.
Wait! No, please! Wait! Well, that's just great, Steve.
My mother was so right about you being unreliable.
And now now look at where we are! Well, I, um, uh Are we too we are! Come on.
It's not that big a boat.
Just flip it o aww! We're doomed.
We're doomed.
Aw, game over, man.
Game over.
You know what? I'm gonna build my own ark.
Yeah, and it's gonna be better than Noah's.
All right, yeah, do it.
This sucks.
Ha ha ha ha! You guys are gonna drown, but we're a mermaid and a merman.
We can swim! Ha ha ha! I hope you can also asexually reproduce.
Crap.
So, you told them the wrong time on purpose? Yep.
God hates freaks.
That doesn't sound like God.
That doesn't blah blah blah! Well, then, why did you let the pixie fairies on board? I did? Aah! Get back here, you little dust tosser! Hmm! Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Goh! Oh! Kitty, my iPod's busted.
I'm gonna put my foot right up Steve Jobs' ass.
Oh, hush, Red.
I'm blogging.
In Korea, you could get a good blogging for five American dollars.
Oh, honey.
Ha ha ha ha ha! - Kelso.
- Fez.
I just took your picture with my phone.
I just sent it to you.
Ooh, what a sexy photo.
It really captures my metrosexuality.
OK.
Who just text-messaged me that I'm a douchebag? Bargh! Hi.
I'm TV's Topher Grace.
As you've seen tonight, the precious trappings of our material-obsessed existence become the sitcom fodder of the future.
So, hey, please remember try not to be such a douchebag.
Thanks for listening.
Bring out your dead! I'm not about to die for a cause I don't believe in.
I don't what can I tell you? I mean, this is it's bad! Ohh.
I sure am hungry.
These carrots are not mine but I'm hungry, so it's OK.
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
Who's eating my carrots? Oh, dear! Those carrots are for robot Thanksgiving.
Aah! I sure am glad I got you for Christmas even though I wasn't good every single day and got a spanking sometimes when I was bad.
Aah! That's coming from the carrot patch! Oh, ho ho! Carrot stew and princess, too.
I want to be the robot! I'm the robot! You're dumb.
I will save you, Princess Britney.
I will fight you.
Pow! Pow! Pow! You're dead.
You're dead.
Nuh-uh.
You're dead.
My daddy says "I love you" with his belt.
Mrs.
McNally! Mrs.
McNally, Darryl made a fart.
Pow! Pow! Quit it! I now pronounce you husband, ro wife, and robot.
The end.
I hear you're the guys to see about entering a race.
Not just any race.
No race has higher stakes than this.
I want in.
You got to pay if you want to play.
I haven't met the man yet that I think can handle this race.
I don't scare easy.
- Ha ha ha! - Ha ha ha! Let's stow away in the Mach 5, for it goes so very fast and we always greatly assist Speed whenever he runs into trouble, which he always does, mm-hmm? Chim chim.
Better use the turbo boost.
Michael, wait.
I can only use my turbo boost once per episode.
Well, I'm using it.
It's important that I do not move because if I were to move, that would add to the cost so if I stay perfectly still, it will be preferable to moving because animation costs money, uh-huh.
Gosh, golly, gee willikers, ziminy jippity-do, Batman! Those policemen are pretty rude.
Robin, law enforcement officers are the backbone of our society.
Mother Yaaa-hoo! Now that guy is gaining.
We're never gonna win the race.
I have to go to the bathroom.
Will you buy me a soda? My friend Jimmy's dad bought him a new skateboard.
I want a new skateboard.
This race is stupid.
Hoo hoo hoo! This'll fool them Duke boys.
There's a detour, Bo.
Yaaa Oh.
Oh, my God.
I don't believe in cheating, Batman.
I believe in doing what's right.
If you don't want a bat bitch-slap you'll launch the Batnet and take down those cops.
Oops! - Aah! - Retract the line.
Retract the line! No, no, don't retract! Don't retract! - Aah! - Aah! Get him off me! Oh, Lord! Aah! We're almost to the finish line, partner.
Oh.
Ha ha ha! Mario, we're losing.
It's time to use the blue tortoise shell, no? Do it, you magnificent stereotypical bastard.
The blue tortoise shell is Mario kart race's ultimate weapon.
It magically finds the lead car in the race, and it takes it out.
Ha ha ha! Urk! You're more man than me, headless Ponch.
Ooh! Headless Ponch.
Headless Ponch! As the winner you receive this gift basket from Omaha steaks.
Awesome.
Wonderful.
And a $50 gift certificate from Best Buy.
Best Buy! Woof! Aww.
I'm in awe of headless Ponch.
He's very attractive.
- Headless pouch.
- Headless pouch.
Ponch.
Ponch.
Ponch.
Go.
- Headless stick.
- Ha ha ha! Excuse me.
I just farted in a very musical tone.
- Shut up! - Ruff! I like being an American.
I like everything about being Burt.
Being Burt, being Burt, being Burt.
Gosh, it's good.
I want to show you something that I'm very proud of and it's gonna scare the living out of you.
Ha ha ha! You will have to step back just a few feet.
Print.
Lunch.
Stupid monkey.
Oh! My hat.
Where is my hat? Oh, wait.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I need to make this happen.
There's no time.
Are you kidding me? No time! Oh, no.
Wait! No, please! Wait! Well, that's just great, Steve.
My mother was so right about you being unreliable.
And now now look at where we are! Well, I, um, uh Are we too we are! Come on.
It's not that big a boat.
Just flip it o aww! We're doomed.
We're doomed.
Aw, game over, man.
Game over.
You know what? I'm gonna build my own ark.
Yeah, and it's gonna be better than Noah's.
All right, yeah, do it.
This sucks.
Ha ha ha ha! You guys are gonna drown, but we're a mermaid and a merman.
We can swim! Ha ha ha! I hope you can also asexually reproduce.
Crap.
So, you told them the wrong time on purpose? Yep.
God hates freaks.
That doesn't sound like God.
That doesn't blah blah blah! Well, then, why did you let the pixie fairies on board? I did? Aah! Get back here, you little dust tosser! Hmm! Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Goh! Oh! Kitty, my iPod's busted.
I'm gonna put my foot right up Steve Jobs' ass.
Oh, hush, Red.
I'm blogging.
In Korea, you could get a good blogging for five American dollars.
Oh, honey.
Ha ha ha ha ha! - Kelso.
- Fez.
I just took your picture with my phone.
I just sent it to you.
Ooh, what a sexy photo.
It really captures my metrosexuality.
OK.
Who just text-messaged me that I'm a douchebag? Bargh! Hi.
I'm TV's Topher Grace.
As you've seen tonight, the precious trappings of our material-obsessed existence become the sitcom fodder of the future.
So, hey, please remember try not to be such a douchebag.
Thanks for listening.
Bring out your dead! I'm not about to die for a cause I don't believe in.
I don't what can I tell you? I mean, this is it's bad! Ohh.
I sure am hungry.
These carrots are not mine but I'm hungry, so it's OK.
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
Who's eating my carrots? Oh, dear! Those carrots are for robot Thanksgiving.
Aah! I sure am glad I got you for Christmas even though I wasn't good every single day and got a spanking sometimes when I was bad.
Aah! That's coming from the carrot patch! Oh, ho ho! Carrot stew and princess, too.
I want to be the robot! I'm the robot! You're dumb.
I will save you, Princess Britney.
I will fight you.
Pow! Pow! Pow! You're dead.
You're dead.
Nuh-uh.
You're dead.
My daddy says "I love you" with his belt.
Mrs.
McNally! Mrs.
McNally, Darryl made a fart.
Pow! Pow! Quit it! I now pronounce you husband, ro wife, and robot.
The end.
I hear you're the guys to see about entering a race.
Not just any race.
No race has higher stakes than this.
I want in.
You got to pay if you want to play.
I haven't met the man yet that I think can handle this race.
I don't scare easy.
- Ha ha ha! - Ha ha ha! Let's stow away in the Mach 5, for it goes so very fast and we always greatly assist Speed whenever he runs into trouble, which he always does, mm-hmm? Chim chim.
Better use the turbo boost.
Michael, wait.
I can only use my turbo boost once per episode.
Well, I'm using it.
It's important that I do not move because if I were to move, that would add to the cost so if I stay perfectly still, it will be preferable to moving because animation costs money, uh-huh.
Gosh, golly, gee willikers, ziminy jippity-do, Batman! Those policemen are pretty rude.
Robin, law enforcement officers are the backbone of our society.
Mother Yaaa-hoo! Now that guy is gaining.
We're never gonna win the race.
I have to go to the bathroom.
Will you buy me a soda? My friend Jimmy's dad bought him a new skateboard.
I want a new skateboard.
This race is stupid.
Hoo hoo hoo! This'll fool them Duke boys.
There's a detour, Bo.
Yaaa Oh.
Oh, my God.
I don't believe in cheating, Batman.
I believe in doing what's right.
If you don't want a bat bitch-slap you'll launch the Batnet and take down those cops.
Oops! - Aah! - Retract the line.
Retract the line! No, no, don't retract! Don't retract! - Aah! - Aah! Get him off me! Oh, Lord! Aah! We're almost to the finish line, partner.
Oh.
Ha ha ha! Mario, we're losing.
It's time to use the blue tortoise shell, no? Do it, you magnificent stereotypical bastard.
The blue tortoise shell is Mario kart race's ultimate weapon.
It magically finds the lead car in the race, and it takes it out.
Ha ha ha! Urk! You're more man than me, headless Ponch.
Ooh! Headless Ponch.
Headless Ponch! As the winner you receive this gift basket from Omaha steaks.
Awesome.
Wonderful.
And a $50 gift certificate from Best Buy.
Best Buy! Woof! Aww.
I'm in awe of headless Ponch.
He's very attractive.
- Headless pouch.
- Headless pouch.
Ponch.
Ponch.
Ponch.
Go.
- Headless stick.
- Ha ha ha! Excuse me.
I just farted in a very musical tone.
- Shut up! - Ruff! I like being an American.
I like everything about being Burt.
Being Burt, being Burt, being Burt.
Gosh, it's good.
I want to show you something that I'm very proud of and it's gonna scare the living out of you.
Ha ha ha! You will have to step back just a few feet.
Print.
Lunch.
Stupid monkey.