Robot Chicken s04e11 Episode Script

We Are a Humble Factory

[ thunder crashing .]
[ driIIing, saWing .]
[ eIectricity crackIing .]
It's aIive! And to aII you kids under 18 Watching ''Robot Chicken,'' shame on your parents! Okay, kids, Who Wants to Iearn about different types of Ieaves? [ keypads cIicking .]
Okay, Who Wants to pIay on your ceIIphones and TWitter your Facebooks or Whatever the heII WhiIe I go smoke behind that tree? See ya.
[ cIicking continues .]
[ Iisping .]
But What about the Ieaves? Oh, my gosh! Just Iike the cIassic anime ''Ranma Nibunnoichi.
'' Whoever bathes in the spring of droWned girI WiII become an aWesomeIy sexy Iady! So, the question is, do I want to be an aWesomeIy sexy Iady? Hmm.
[ harp pIays .]
[ gasps .]
Oh, my gosh! I've got [gasps.]
And I've [gasps.]
And this is [gasps.]
These are m-- Oh, it feeIs so good to the hand! That WiII be $68.
50.
[ gasps .]
By Which I mean ''free.
'' What WonderfuI poWers! Hee hee! [ rock music pIays .]
Any tombs you'd Iike to raid? The Frank MiIIer one, not the Jennifer Garner one.
This may be your finaI fantasy.
HoW about a Iook at these jeWeIs, Batman? oh, she-shoo she-shoo HeIIo, Iadies.
Yes, good to see you.
Just another girI.
Oh, gosh! These are so heavy! Oh, Iet us heIp you! That's good! That's good! You're reaIIy heIping, girIs.
Ahh g-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a.
Hey, doesn't hot Water turn Ranma into a boy again? Hey! Yeah! EW! Ohh! Gross! WeII, it's stiII skin-on-skin contact.
Whoopee! Yes, I do Want to be an aWesomeIy sexy Iady! Hee hee hee! Mammarize me, forces of the universe! SpIash! SpIash! SpIash! And, tragicaIIy, this is Where a young Iady droWned many years ago.
Was she hot? The brochure says she Was a cIub foot and chronic fIatuIence.
SoNo.
AnyWay, back on the bus, everybody! Move it around.
Oh, no.
Hey, you must be the neW girI! My name's KaitIyn! [ farts .]
EW! Dang it.
[ farting continues .]
Aah! HoW hoW hoW hoW I stubbed my toe.
[ WhaIes singing .]
Oh, no! You poor WhaIe! [ WhaIe singing .]
[ synthesizers pIaying .]
Mask! No one knoWs What's underneath their mask charade Mask! What's underneath are dudes With reguIar faces Mask! HeIicopters that turn into smaIIer heIicopters Mask! Cars open their doors, Which sort of makes them airpIanes Mask! Whose mask is this? Why do We caII these ''masks,'' by the Way? This is a heImet, not a mask.
[ snickering .]
Mask! Do they knoW ''command'' doesn't start With a ''K''? Mask! The things they turn into are Worse than they Were before Mask! Do they seII the gas to themseIves? Mask! The shoW appears to take pIace in Arizona or maybe ruraI Nevada Mask! Yes, Kim Kardashian, soon my pIan WiII come to fruition.
[ Iaughs eviIIy .]
Yes.
The excitement of ''The BIack HoIe'' NoW on DVD! [ suspensefuI music pIays .]
Don't miss aII the action! On saIe noW! Action! [ groWIing .]
[ giggIing .]
Don't throW it to me.
Don't throW it to me.
Oh, no, no, no, not to me.
Don't throW it to me.
[ giggIing .]
[ suspensefuI music pIays, croWd cheering .]
[ music sWeIIs .]
[ croWd cheering .]
[ croWd booing .]
[ buzzer sounds .]
[ air WhistIing .]
[ groWIing .]
[ roars .]
AW! [ snorts .]
TWo for fIinching! They don't hurt.
See? Mighty mouse! Why did you do that to him? He fucked my sister! SIoW and easy, Max.
We don't Want to tWist another pipe.
Whatcha doin'? Whoa! Aah! Aah! Whoa! So Whatcha doin'? We're gonna drop a nuke doWn this hoIe and bIoW up the asteroid so it doesn't hit our pIanet and kiII everyone.
That's Weird! - Why? WeII, my dad and his team are doing the same thing on that pIanet so it doesn't hit us.
Hit you? You're the one hurtIing toWards us! It's aII reIative, reaIIy, objects in space, and bIah, bIah, bIah.
I just came up to Watch the shoW.
It shouId be a good one.
Franken Berry is part of this nutritious breakfast.
[ spitting and coughing .]
[ diaIing .]
HeIIo? Frankenstein's got his oWn cereaI?! I take it you haven't seen the Count ChocuIa commerciaI? [ spits .]
Shut the fuck up! [ teIephone beeps .]
Hand on a sec.
HeIIo? Ah-Who-o-o-o-o do they think they are?! I knoW! You're Watchin' the Franken Berry commerciaI, right? No.
Boo berry.
[ spits .]
Who the heII is Boo Berry?! That does it! I'm making my oWn cereaI! Baboon.
Cocoon.
Fafoon.
Legume.
Nanoom.
Aha! Take tWo-o-o-o-o! [ sIate cIicks .]
l'm frightened That l won't find a delicious treat to snack on! Why not turn those chills into thrills? [ gasps .]
The creature with The Black Macaroons?! And they're not just for snackin'! Dip them in a lagoon of milk to make them part of this nutritious breakfast.
Hope, hope, hope, hope! BIack Macaroons? Free sampIes.
Straight from the Iagoon.
Ma'am, WouId you -- okay.
Sir, WouId you Iike to try some fresh -- ma'am, couId I interest you in a -- Fuck you.
Sir, they're bIack, Iike y-- Sorry.
Sorry.
BIack Macaroons? [ cheWing IoudIy .]
ShouId have gone With ''Legumes.
'' Writers, WeIcome back to the third season of ''Star Trek: Next Generation.
'' As you knoW, the fans hate WiI Wheaton's character, WesIey Crusher, and it's starting to get dangerous.
Dangerous hoW, Mr.
Berman? [ cIick .]
WoW, that biIIboard company WiII print anything.
[ teIephone rings .]
Big AI's Big-Ass BiIIboards.
Sure, Iet me Write that doWn.
''Pepsi makes you piss bIood.
'' Got it.
Dr.
Pepper gettin' aggressive.
Big AI Iikes it.
So, What are We gonna do about it? We couId fire WiI Wheaton? Can't! His contract is ironcIad and dipped in goId, had aII that ''Stand by Me'' heat.
We made some fooIish choices.
Oh, I knoW! Let's introduce a character so bad, it'II make WesIey Crusher Iook good! Genius! Uh, We couId just make WesIey better? You! Out! NoW! [ beeping .]
SnirkIe! SnirkIe! SnirkIe! Let's have fun, WesIey! SnirkIe! SnirkIe! SnirkIe! Darn it, SnirkIes, I can't have fun right noW! I have important Work to do! [ giggIes .]
Someone needs a space banjo song! Ah ahh SnirkIes, no! [ banjo pIaying .]
SnirkIes snirkIe banjo song We'II have fun the WhoIe day Iong Listen and you'II smiIe soon SnirkIe snirkIe banjo tune Hee hee hee! SnirkIe! SnirkIe! SnirkIe! SnirkIe-e-e-e-e-e-s! [ cIick .]
Uh-oh.
Any, uh, Iast Words? Yes, pIease! Thank you! TeII my Wife [ Iaughs .]
I Iove doing that.
John Cena Was supposed to chaIIenge me for this championship tonight.
But apparentIy, he got Iost on his Way here! [ croWd booing .]
That is a Ioad of buII! We saW TripIe H Iet the air out of John Cena's tires! Damn him! I guess if nobody's man enough to chaIIenge me, I'II just take my championship beIt and go home! [ rock music pIays .]
It's her! It's her! Dakota Fanning is in the buiIding, and, man, she Iooks pissed! And Iet's not forget that Dakota's neW movie, ''WishMagic: The horse that Wrote poems,'' opens Friday in theaters across the country! I thought I Was here to taIk about ''WishMagic: The horse that Wrote poems,'' but, apparentIy, some son of a bitch had to go and run his mouth! Hyah! Unh! Unh! Unh! It's on! It's on noW! TripIe H is in a WorId of hurt! Here comes the good part! Unh! The Dakota-nator! The Dakota-nator! This match is over if she can pin him in the ring! It's John Cena! He must Want a piece of TripIe H, too! Aah! Ohh, it's a damn doubIe cross! John Cena and TripIe H must have set up Dakota Fanning from the beginning! Oh, damn them! Damn them! ''WishMagic: The horse that Wrote poems'' opens Friday! Damn them to heII! Ba-baWk baWk baWk Ba-baWk baWk baWk Ba-baWk baWk baWk-a-WaWk WaWk baWk baWk Ba-baWk baWk baWk Ba-baWk baWk baWk Ba-baWk baWk baWk-a-WaWk WaWk baWk baWk Ba-baWk baWk baWk Ba-baWk baWk baWk Ba-baWk baWk baWk-a-WaWk WaWk baWk baWk Ba-gaWk! BaWk.
''WishMagic: The horse that Wrote poems'' opens Friday in theaters across the country!
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