Rocko's Modern Life (1993) s01e03 Episode Script

Jet Scream/Dirty Dog

1
( buzzing and chirping )
( chuckling )
GOOD AS NEW.
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE ♪
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE.
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE ♪
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE.
SPUNKY!
SPUNKY!
( screaming )
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE. ♪
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE.
( laughing )
THAT WAS A HOOT!
( wind howling )
HEFFER?
GUESS WHAT.
MY BOSS GAVE ME
TWO PLANE TICKETS
FOR THE COMIC BOOK
CONVENTION IN LAS VEGAS.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
AIRPLANES?
THANKS,
BUT NO THANKS.
I'M AFRAID TO FLY.
I I NEVER BEEN
ON A PLANE BEFORE.
WHAT?!
HEFF, FLYING
IS CONSIDERED
A SAFE FORM OF TRAVEL.
SAY NO MORE, THERE'S JUST NO WAY
THAT I'LL EVER SET FOO
\h\h\h\hIN AN AIRPLANE.
NO WAY.
BUT
DON'T TRY CONVINCING ME.
MY MIND'S MADE UP.
THEY HAVE COMPLIMENTARY
FINGER FOODS.
I DON'T FEEL
SO GOOD, ROCKO.
ARE YOU SURE
THIS IS SAFE?
OF COURSE, IT IS.
YOU'RE IN THE LOVING ARMS
OF DE-REG AIRLINES.
TAKE IT EASY.
LIKE THE MAN SAYS,
"LOVING ARMS."
LOVING ARMS, HEFF.
Loudspeaker:
Mr. Fourapples.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hMr. Bob Fourapples,
return to the ticket counter.
WHEW!
( buzzes )
( Rocko giggles nervously )
MUST BE MY KEYS.
( metal detector buzzes )
( buzzes again )
( buzzes )
( buzzes )
( clanking loudly )
( hollering, teeth crunching )
Loudspeaker:
Mr. Maniac.
Mr. Klepto Maniac, please put
back the white courtesy phone.
\h\h\h\hRocko:
THERE'S OUR PLANE.
FUNNY, I DON'T SEE OUR BAGS.
Flight 1313 to Las Vegas
is ready for departure.
Will all weasels born
under a watermelon
begin boarding, please.
COME ON, HEFF,
THAT'S OUR FLIGHT.
NO WORRIES, OLD BUDDY.
NO WORRIES.
JUST A LITTLE
FURTHER, HEFF.
( grunting )
ENTER THE LOVING ARMS
OF DE-REG AIR.
( soft piano music
\hand conversation )
OOH, FIRST CLASS.
ROCKO THIS IS GREAT!
YEAH, HEFF,
BUT WE'RE FLYING COACH.
( accordion music and people
\hspeaking various languages )
( loud belch )
WELCOME TO COACH.
SO, ROCKO, HOW'S THE VIEW?
ROCKO?
Uh this is your
captain speaking.
Uh, there will be a slight
delay before we take off.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hFlight attendant:
Insert tab into metal buckle.
Pull tightly.
Pull strap around your left leg
around your right cheek
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hand waist.
UH WELCOME ABOARD
DE-REG AIRLINES
FLIGHT 1313
TO LAS VEGAS.
Although I black out
at higher elevations.
\h\h\h\hI won't let this
affect my performance today.
ROCKO, I DON'T FEEL
SO GOOD ABOUT THIS.
ROCKO!
NO WORRIES, HEFF,
YOU'LL LIKE TAKEOFFS.
THEY'RE VERY EXCITING.
MUST GET STABILIZED.
Heff:
OOH! WHEE!
THAT WAS A HOOT!
( kid squealing and giggling )
YOU OKAY,
LITTLE BUDDY?
YOU LOOK
A LITTLE SICK.
OOH, BUTTONS.
\h\h\h( howling wind
and sleigh bells ringing )
( steam hissing )
( bewildered moans )
HEFFER, NO! NOT THAT ONE.
THAT ONE MUST BE BROKEN.
( sniffing )
DINNER IS SERVED.
A STEER CANNOT LIVE
ON PEANUTS ALONE.
I'M GOING TO MAKE
A BREAK FOR FIRST CLASS.
NO, HEFF, WAIT!
( yelling )
( panting )
( water tinkling )
CARE FOR SOMETHING
TO DRINK, SIR?
HEY, BUB, IT'S ALL YOURS.
THANKS.
( sighs )
( screams )
UH
( giggles guiltily )
( Beethoven's Fifth Symphony )
( hard rock )
( reggae )
( '50s rock and roll )
( squealing and giggling )
( whooshing )
( squealing and giggling )
( cheers and applause )
ROCKO! ROCKO!
HEFF, WHERE YOU BEEN?
WOW, ROCKO!
FIRST CLASS IS GREAT!
THEY HAVE CABLE
AND CHOCOLATE
AND I WON THE FIRST CLASS
BOWLING TOURNEY.
( thunder rumbling )
OOH
CUMULONIMBUS.
This is your captain speaking.
Uh we're in for some
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hturbulence.
( both yelling )
Uh that wasn't so bad,
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hwas it?
( loud thunderbolt )
NO NEED TO BE ALARMED.
We've temporarily lost power
to our right engine.
Oops!
( passengers screaming )
( screaming )
WE HAVE BEGUN OUR FINAL DESCENT.
PLACE YOUR SEATS
AND TABLES UPRIGHT.
( coughs )
Flight attendant:
THANK YOU FOR FLYING
DE-REG AIRLINES.
REMAIN SEATED UNTIL
( yelling and screaming )
WHEE!
WHEE!
WHEE!
ROCKO!
THERE YOU ARE, BUDDY.
I WONDER WHERE
OUR BAGS ARE.
GUESS WHAT?
IF WE HURRY, WE CAN STILL MAKE
THE NEXT FLIGHT FOR VEGAS.
NO MORE FLYING FOR ME, HEFF.
I'M TAKING THE BUS.
GOT TO GO.
MY PLANES A-WAITING.
( crickets chirping )
( engine idling )
( tires screeching )
AT LEAST WE'RE ON THE GROUND.
\h\h\h\hTHIS IS YOUR
BUS DRIVER SPEAKING.
BRAKE MAINTENANCE
IS IMPORTAN
FOR A SAFE DRIVING
\h\h\hEXPERIENCE.
( bus crashes )
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTV:
And a word from our sponsor.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAnnouncer:
\h\h\h\hDoes your dog lick you
after rolling in its own filth?
Does he smell like a dead
mackerel wrapped in gym shorts?
Without proper cleaning
your cute puppy could become
a toxic waste dump
of vermin infestation
in just months.
( screaming )
( alarm bells ringing )
So buy Scum Away Doggie Spray
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hand delouse
your disgusting pet today.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hRemember,
even the nicest doggies
can have the nastiest parasites.
I WONDER WHAT KIND OF NASTY
PARASITES LIVE ON SPUNKY.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTHE AIR
IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD STINKS.
I'M BUSHED.
ALL I WANT TO DO IS SIT DOWN
AND RELAX IN MY FAVORITE
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hARM SCAB.
PUKISH!
DISGUSTING!
SLIMY!
SCUMMY!
HELLO.
DON'T YOU EVER KNOCK?
NOW BLOATY HAS BEEN
MOST EVERYWHERE ♪
UNDER YOUR SKIN
AND IN YOUR HAIR ♪
BUT SQUIRMY LIKES TO SQUIRM
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAND GRIND ♪
JUST WATCH HIM LEAVE
YOUR FRIENDS BEHIND ♪
WHAT A CRAZY PAIR ♪
BUT THEY'RE LEECHES ♪
\h\h\h\hBEST BUDDIES,
TOGETHER ALL THE WAY ♪
BLOOD-SUCKING,
FILTHY VERMIN ♪
DIFFERENT AS NIGHT AND DAY ♪
NOW SQUIRMY ADORES
THE INTESTINE TRACT ♪
A LOW G.I. OR THE LIVER SAC ♪
BLOATY LIKES
TO ROCK AND ROLL ♪
A NECK BOIL MAKES HIM
\h\h\h\hLOSE CONTROL ♪
THEY'RE CRAWLING
UP YOUR BACK ♪
'CAUSE THEY'RE LEECHES ♪
BLOOD-SUCKING BEST BUDDIES
\h\h\h\hAND YOU'LL FIND ♪
THEY JEST ALIKE ♪
THEY NEST ALIKE, AT TIMES
THEY BOTH INFEST ALIKE ♪
YOU CAN LOSE YOUR MIND ♪
WHEN PARASITES ♪
ARE TWO OF A KIND. ♪
SQUIRMY,
I NEED YOUR HELP.
MY BOSS, MR. ICCK, IS COMING
FOR DINNER TONIGH
BUT I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO COOK.
NEVER FEAR,
OLD BUDDY.
I AM AN EXPERT CHEF.
I'LL COOK UP
A ROAST LOUSE
SO GOOD
YOUR BOSS WILL MAKE YOU
VICE-PRESIDENT.
SQUIRMY,
YOU'RE THE BEST!
EVEN THOUGH YOU DO
EXCRETE MUCOUS.
AW, GET OU
OF HERE.
GO OUT FOR
THE LONG ONE, PAL.
SCORE!
TWO POINTS!
( cheering )
Both:
WAY TO GO!
\h\h\h\hSquirmy:
Right in the kisser!
Bloaty:
Best buddy!
NOTHING LIKE DOG SWEA
\h\h\h\hON THE ROCKS.
BLOATY, WHEN THIS ROAST IS DONE
I GUARANTEE YOU'LL BE
THE NEW VICE-PRESIDENT.
TO YOU, SQUIRMY,
A MASTER CHEF.
Both:
CHEERS!
( gurgling )
( sniffing )
SAY, WHAT'S THA
RANCID SMELL?
( sniffing )
I DON'T KNOW.
SMELLS KIND OF LIKE
BURNT ROAST.
Both:
THE ROAST!
UH, FORGO
ABOUT THAT.
YOU BURNT THE LOUSE.
IT'S RUINED!
I SHOULD HAVE PULLED
THAT BABY OUT.
"PULLED THA
BABY OUT."
"PULLED THA
BABY OUT"?!
I'LL PULL THA
BABY OUT!
YOU LOUSY
DISGUSTING
LOOP-HEAD.
I CAN FIX IT.
I CAN FIX IT.
( doorbell rings )
OH, NO.
MR. ICCK, HE'S HERE!
DO NOT DESPAIR,
OH PAL O' MINE.
YOU GET THE DOOR,
I'LL FIX THE ROAST.
YEAH, YEAH, YOU DO THAT.
THANKS, BUDDY.
OH, UH, HELLO, MR. ICCK.
YOUR HONOR, SIR.
YOU'RE FIRED!
I MEAN, HELLO.
ENTER MY HUMBLE PALACE
OH SIGNER OF MY CHECKS.
YOU'VE GOT SPUNK.
THANK YOU, SIR.
I HATE SPUNK!
BLOATMAN,
I'M THIRSTY.
NO PROBLEM.
I'LL GO RUSTLE UP
SOME DRINKS.
WHO'S THIS MORON?
THIS MORON IS SQUIRMY
THE RINGWORM.
PLEASURE TO MEET YOU,
MR. ICCK.
HOW 'BOUT THEM DRINKS, MR. ICCK?
OKAY, SPUNKY, MY PAL.
LET'S GIVE YOU
A NICE BRUSHY-WASHY.
HERE WE ARE,
MR. ICCK.
FRIED LICE
FRITTERS.
MMM.
BOY! UH, DOES THA
LOOK GOOD.
THIS BETTER BE GOOD
OR IT'S BACK
TO THE COLON MINES.
THE COLON MINES.
RIGHT, BOSS.
( laughing )
( loud rumbling )
WHAT'S THAT?
( loud rumbling )
Both:
BRUSH!
( screaming )
OH, NO!
BOSS!
BOSS?
BOSS, WAKE UP.
BOSS, ARE YOU
ALL RIGHT?
BOSS, WAKE
WHAT HAPPENED?
UH, WHAT HAPPENED?
YOU SCARFED DOWN
YOUR DELICIOUS
DINNER TOO FAST.
I DID?
AND YOU LOVED IT, TOO.
I DID?
YEAH, DIDN'T HE,
BLOATY?
( moaning )
( whining )
ALL RIGHT, SPUNKY
THAT BRUSH WASN'
SO BAD, WAS IT?
NOW IT'S TIME
FOR A NICE, WARM BATH.
BATH
SO, BOYS, I REALLY
LOVED THE DINNER?
OH, YEAH, YEAH.
YOU WENT ON
AND ON ABOUT IT.
SIT HERE IN MY
FAVORITE ARM SCAB.
NOW THIS IS
ONE COMFY SCAB.
( all scream )
HELP!
All:
HELP!
NOW, COME DOWN
FROM THERE, SPUNKY.
I'VE GOT MORE WAFERS.
SPUNKY!
HOW ABOUT ANOTHER
DRINK, BOSS?
( munching )
ALL RIGH
THIS TIME I WON'
SAY THE WORD "BATH."
OH, NO,
NOT THIS AGAIN.
COME DOWN FROM THERE,
RIGHT NOW.
I SAID COME DOWN RIGH
( moaning )
( whining )
( shoes squeaking )
( bird chirping )
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBATH DAY
IS A VERY DANGEROUS DAY.
ALL RIGH
THAT'S IT!
I'M RUINED!
IT AIN'T THAT BAD.
THE BOSS DON'T KNOW
WHAT HIT HIM.
ARE YOU KIDDING?
IT'S HOPELESS.
I'LL NEVER BE
VICE-PRESIDENT NOW.
I THINK MR. ICCK'S
BEEN HAVING A GREAT TIME.
YOU'RE A MORON.
BOYS! I'VE HAD
A GREAT TIME.
THE FOOD WAS SUPERB I THINK.
THAT DOG SWEA
WAS THE BES
I'VE HAD IN YEARS.
BLOATMAN, I THINK I HAVE FOUND
\h\h\h\hMY NEW VICE-PRESIDENT.
YOU HAVE?
THAT'S RIGHT!
SQUIRMY
THE RINGWORM!
WHAT?!
CONGRATULATIONS,
SQUIRMY, MY BOY.
( steam whistle blowing )
WHY, YOU LOW-LIFE,
BACK-STABBING EXCUSE
FOR A HULA-HOOP.
( screaming )
( whining and sniffing )
OH, NO
LITTLE BUDDY
LITTLE BUDDY,
SPEAK TO ME!
( belches )
LITTLE BUDDY
YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.
YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.
OOH WOW!
LUCY, YOU GOT SOME
'SPLAINING TO DO.
( crying )
YOU'RE FIRED!
I MEAN THE END!
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