Rocko's Modern Life (1993) s01e06 Episode Script

The Good, the Bad and the Wallaby/Trash-o-Madness

1
( buzzing and chirping )
( chuckling )
GOOD AS NEW.
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE ♪
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE.
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE ♪
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE.
SPUNKY!
SPUNKY!
( screaming )
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE. ♪
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE.
( laughing )
THAT WAS A HOOT!
OH, LOOK, IT'S A LETTER
FROM MY UNCLE GIB HOOTSEN.
I WONDER WHAT HE WANTS.
HE'S INVITED US TO COME VISI
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHIS CATTLE RANCH.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hRocko:
UNCLE GIB WAS THE ROOTIN'EST,
TOOTIN'EST COWBOY IN THE WEST.
HE TRIED TO TEACH ME TO ROPE.
\h\h\h\hBUT I COULD NEVER
QUITE GET THE HANG OF IT.
( jeering laughter )
I REMEMBER MY FIRST TIME
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hON A HORSE.
HER NAME WAS JEZEBEL.
SHE CHEWED ME UP
AND SPIT ME OUT.
( jeering laughter )
YOU KNOW SOMETHING, SPUNKY?
I'M GOING TO GET BACK
ON THAT HORSE
\h\h\h\hAND THIS TIME,
THINGS WILL BE DIFFERENT.
HEY, ROCKO
WHAT'S WITH
THE BIG HAT?
I'M GOING TO VISI
MY UNCLE'S CATTLE RANCH.
CATTLE RANCH!
CAN I GO WITH YOU?
OKAY, HEFFER.
BUT YOU BE CAREFUL.
A RANCH IS NO PLACE FOR A STEER.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWHERE IS
YOUR UNCLE'S RANCH ANYWAY?
OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.
MARY HAD A STEAMBOAT ♪
THE STEAMBOAT HAD A BELL ♪
MARY WENT TO HEAVEN ♪
THE STEAMBOAT WENT TO ♪
HEY, ROCKO, CATTLE!
LOOK AT ALL THE CATTLE.
Rocko:
WOWZA!
IS THAT YOU, RATSO?
YOU SURE GOT FAT, BOY.
NO, UH, I'M BACK HERE.
WHAT?
YOU AIN'
GOT THE SENSE
THE GOOD LORD
GAVE A COW PIE.
WELL, GET IN HERE.
BUT FIRST PUT THAT STEER
IN THE STOCKYARD.
BUT
IT'S OKAY, ROCK.
THIS IS WHAT I WANT--
TO LIVE WITH REAL CATTLE.
WELL, YOU BE CAREFUL,
THIS ISN'T THE CITY.
SLEEP STANDING UP?
HMM, WHEN IN ROME
( snoring )
UH
( nervous laugh )
MAYBE I'LL JUST SLEEP
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hIN THE BARN.
( rooster crows )
MAYBE I COULD TRY
RIDING JEZEBEL AGAIN?
WELL, I SUPPOSE.
YOU COULD PROBABLY
HANDLE HER NOW.
( clears throat )
UM, UH, GIDDYAP.
SHE DOESN'T QUITE SEEM TO HAVE
THE SAME SPUNK, DOES SHE?
WELL, I SHOULD THINK NOT.
SHE'S BEEN DEAD
NEARLY
SIX YEARS NOW.
NOW, THE SECRET TO ROPING
IS TO KEEP A STIFF ROPE
AND A LIMP WRIST.
( cow moos )
BONZA!
TRY ROPING THAT FAT ONE, RIPPO.
ME! ME! ME!
WUSS!
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h( laughs )
LOSER!
COME ON, TIE ME UP, ROCKO.
( ship's horn blows )
PSST, CITY BOY.
YEAH?
YOU MAY NOT REALIZE THIS,
BUT THAT COWPOKE
INEPT THOUGH HE MAY BE
IS ONE OF OUR OPPRESSORS.
ROCKO?!
B-B-B-B-BUT HE'S MY FRIEND.
YOU'D BETTER GET ON
THE RIGHT SIDE OF THIS
IF YOU WANT TO BE
PART OF THE HERD.
AW, WHAT AM I WASTING
\h\h\h\hMY BREATH FOR?
YOU'RE NOT EVEN BRANDED.
BRANDED?
ROCKO, WILL YOU BRAND ME?
I DON'T THINK
I WANT TO BE PART OF THE HERD.
OH, PLEASE,
PLEASE, PLEASE.
NO, HEFF.
COME ON, BRAND ME.
NO.
PLEASE!
GO AWAY, HEFF.
( snoring )
IF YOU WERE A TRUE FRIEND,
YOU'D BURN MY BUTT.
( growling )
COME ON, BRAND ME,
BRAND ME, BRAND ME.
HEY, FELLAS, LOOK,
I'VE BEEN BRANDED.
All:
HUH?
MAYBE YOU'RE AN OKAY STEER,
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAFTER ALL.
HOW'D YOU LIKE TO JOIN US
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAT THE CLUB?
OH, WOULD I!
PULL UP YOUR PANTS
AND COME ON.
THAT LOOKS LIKE FELT MARKER.
THAT'S FUNNY!
( laughing )
SWING YOUR PARTNER!
ALLEMANDE LEFT
YEE-HAW!
WHOO! GET ALONG, LITTLE HUMAN.
THE MOO MOO CLUB?
( silence )
( feedback )
( cow passes gas )
( gulps )
( nervous laugh )
HI, ROCKO.
HEFF, COULD I SPEAK TO YOU
FOR A MOMENT, OUTSIDE?
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
YOU GOT SOMETHING TO SAY
YOU CAN'T SAY IN FRON
OF HIS HERD BROTHERS?
WELL, BUB,
YOU GOT TO DECIDE.
ARE YOU GOING TO BE
ONE OF US
OR ONE OF THEM?
LOOK, ROCKO, I'M MY OWN COW.
STEER.
UH, STEER.
AND APPARENTLY, I'M "US"
AND YOU'RE "THEM."
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hYOU U SEE,
I'M PART OF THE HERD NOW.
( herd murmuring approval )
MORNING, HEFF,
WHERE YOU OFF TO?
I'M GOING TO MARKET.
JUST IN TIME, TOO.
I NEED TO PICK UP
SOME SNACKS.
SEE YOU, ROCK.
SEE YOU, HEFF.
HMM, WHAT ELSE DO I NEED?
LOOK, BUB.
IT HAS BECOME
APPARENT TO ME
THAT YOUSE DON'
QUITE UNDERSTAND
THIS MARKET THING.
WE'RE NOT GOING
TO PICK UP A FEW ITEMS.
WE'RE GOING
TO BE SOLD.
BY THE POUND,
SPECIFICALLY.
YOUSE SHOULD FETCH
A SMALL FORTUNE.
SOLD?!
SOLD?!
YUP, THE WHOLE LOAD
IS BEING SOLD OFF
TO THE LAZY J RANCH.
YOU'VE GO
TO STOP THEM.
MY FRIEND'S ON THAT TRUCK.
ROCKO!
I DON'T THINK
THAT WILL HAPPEN.
THAT OLD TRUCK IS FASTER
THAN GREASED PIG SPIT.
AND OLD POKE THERE
DRIVES LIKE
STEVE MCQUEEN
BEFORE HE SWITCHED
TO DECAF.
I'LL SAVE YOU, HEFFER.
ALL RIGHT, ROCKO!
ROCKO, LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!
( sheep bleating )
FOLLOW THAT TRUCK.
( mooing )
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hEXCUSE ME,
PARDON ME, COMING THROUGH.
PARDON US, SORRY ABOUT THAT.
HEY, IT'S
THAT WALLABY FELLA.
POTS?
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
EXCUSE ME.
COULD YOU, IF IT'S NO
TOO MUCH TROUBLE
STOP THE TRUCK?
OF COURSE.
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?
( Rocko screaming )
( rattling and hissing )
( Rocko screaming )
WHAT AN UNBELIEVABLE
STROKE OF LUCK.
( screaming )
YIKE!
WOW, ROCKO,
YOU SAVED MY LIFE!
HEFF, DO YOU MIND?
OH, SURE.
HEY, ROCKO, I'M SORRY
ABOUT LAST NIGHT.
OH, THAT'S OKAY, HEFF.
\h\h\h\hI DON'T THINK
THIS HERD STUFF IS FOR ME.
YOU KNOW, THEY ARE "THEM"
BUT YOU AND ME,
WE'RE "US."
OOH, BOY, THAT SURE WAS
A FANCY PIECE OF RIDING!
I WAS SO INSPIRED
BY YOUR HEROICS
THAT I'VE DECIDED
TO CLOSE THE RANCH
AND OPEN UP A RESOR
FOR COWS--
A CLUB MOO,
IF YOU WILL.
UNCLE GIB,
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.
\h\h\h\hCOME ON, HEFF,
LET'S GET ON BACK NOW.
OKAY, BUT FIRS
I GOWELL, SIT DOWN
AND I'LL REGALE YA ♪
ABOUT MY NEPHEW
FROM AUSTRALIA ♪
WELL, HE WOULDN'
KNOW A COW PIE ♪
IF IT SLAPPED HIM
ON THE REAR ♪
HE CAN'T RIDE OR ROPE
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOR WRANGLE ♪
OR PLAY A GOOD TRIANGLE ♪
AND HIS BEST FRIEND
ON THE PLANET IS A STEER ♪
ROCKO! ♪
YES, ROCKO WAS HIS NAME ♪
ROCKO! ♪
RODE SOME CARRION TO FAME ♪
SAVED A WHOLE TRUCKLOAD
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOF CATTLE ♪
SITTING HIGH UP
IN HIS SADDLE ♪
AND HE ALWAYS KEEPS HIS SHIRTS
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hSO NICELY PRESSED ♪
ROCKO! ♪
HAD A BANDANNA THAT WAS RED ♪
ROCKO! ♪
TAMED A HORSEY THAT WAS DEAD ♪
HE CAME OVER FROM DOWN UNDER ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHE WAS
A REAL MARSUPIAL WONDER ♪
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hROCKO,
THE WALLABY OF THE WEST ♪
HE CAME OVER FROM DOWN UNDER ♪
GOT A VOICE
AS BIG AS THUNDER ♪
ROCKO! ♪
THE WALLABY OF THE WEST! ♪
HEY, ROCKO,
WHICH IS FUNNIER
BANANAS OR CHEESE?
CHEESE, HEFF,
DEFINITELY CHEESE.
( crickets chirping )
( growling )
( belches )
( Rocko and Spunky snoring )
( clock ticking )
HEY, GET UP!
( screaming )
( whines )
( snoring )
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOH, SPUNKY,
I'M TOO HUNGRY TO DANCE.
WE HAVEN'T HAD A REAL BREAKFAS
SINCE WE LEFT HOME.
NOT LIKE MOM USED TO MAKE.
MMM, TOASTER WAFFLES
\h\h\h\hON A STICK.
BIG BOB'S BACON BOMBS.
( panting )
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, SPUNKY.
IF YOU PROMISE
NOT TO ELECTROCUTE
YOURSELF TODAY
I'LL BUY YOU
A PUPPY CRUNCH MEAL
AT BARFY'S.
WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?
( engine roaring )
WHAT IN THE..?
THE GARBAGE MEN, SPUNKY.
THEY HAVEN'T BEEN BY
FOR SIX MONTHS.
THEY MUST HAVE GO
THEIR LICENSE BACK.
WE CAN'T MISS THEM.
WHO KNOWS WHEN THEY'LL BE
COMING AROUND AGAIN?
QUICK, GRAB ALL
THE GARBAGE YOU CAN!
( growling )
( sniffing )
( whining )
( bugs shrieking )
( sniffing )
EWW! BAD SAUSAGE.
( gulps )
OH, DEAR.
YUCK!
( Spunky panting )
( growling )
( growling )
( Spunky barking )
( glass breaking )
( whines )
SPUNKY?
SPUNKY!
( tires screeching )
( whines )
( panting )
( growling )
( screaming )
WHEW!
\h\h\h\hSPUNKY, EARL ESCAPED
FROM THE SCIENCE LAB AGAIN.
I'LL GO OUT THE BACK DOOR.
( growling )
( screaming )
( low growling )
( low growling )
( giggling )
BIG DOG, BIG FEROCIOUS DOG.
WE'RE SHAKING,
AREN'T WE, SPUNKY?
SPUNKY?
( Spunky whining )
SPUNKY!
( low rumbling )
( gasps )
( heavy thud )
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hGARBAGE DAY
IS A VERY DANGEROUS DAY.
EARL, BUDDY,
SMALL DOGS AND TRASH
ARE NOT PAR
OF A BALANCED DIET.
MAYBE
( crash )
OKAY, STEAK, HOW ABOU
A STEAK INSTEAD?
( crash )
THAT DOES IT!
GIVE ME BACK MY
LET GO, YOU!
OKAY, OKAY, COME ON, YOU,
\h\h\h\hI'LL I'LL
( nervous laugh )
GOOD AS NEW, EH?
( growling )
( punches and groans )
( panting )
( air escaping )
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hALL RIGHT, SPUNKY,
SO WE DIDN'T GET THE TRASH OUT.
BUT YOU SCARED ME, THAT'S ALL.
SINCE I'M ON MY OWN NOW,
YOU'RE ALL I'VE GOT.
I'D DO ANYTHING
FOR YOU, SPUNKY.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI I
WHAT IS THAT IN YOUR MOUTH?
IT'S NOT THAT SLIME
FROM THE REFRIGERATOR, IS IT?
YOU BROUGHT THAT SMU
IN THE BATHTUB, SPUNK?
GET RID OF IT!
NO, WAIT.
SPUNKY, I DIDN'T MEAN IT.
NOT IN THE WATER.
NO! NO!
SPUNKY!
( Rocko screaming )
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