Rocko's Modern Life (1993) s01e11 Episode Script
Rocko's Happy Sack/Flu-In-U-Enza
1
( buzzing and chirping )
( chuckling )
GOOD AS NEW.
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE ♪
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE.
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE ♪
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE.
SPUNKY!
SPUNKY!
( splat )
( screaming )
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE. ♪
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE.
( laughing )
THAT WAS A HOOT!
FOOD. FOOD!
HEY! WHAT'S IT TAKE TO GE
\h\hSOME FOOD AROUND HERE?
( roaring )
FEED ME!
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA, SPUNKY.
LET'S CHECK THE KITCHEN AGAIN.
MAYBE WE'LL FIND
SOMETHING THERE THIS TIME.
IT'S THANKSGIVING.
( wind blowing )
( sniffing )
( clang )
( whimpers )
( gobbling )
WE'VE GOT NOTHING
\hTO EAT, SPUNKY.
\h\h\hAND I ONLY HAVE
3 DOLLARS TILL PAYDAY.
OH. HEY!
YOU'RE NOT GONNA PIDDLE
ON THAT PAPER, ARE YOU?
I'M NOT DONE WITH IT.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hGO ON.
WE KNOW BETTER.
WHAT? ALL FOOD 99% OFF
\h\h\hTILL NOON TODAY?
I CAN AFFORD THAT.
WHAT TIME IS IT?
( ticking )
15 MINUTES TILL NOON?
WE'VE GOT TO MAKE IT, SPUNKY,
OR WE DON'T EAT FOR A WEEK.
COME ON!
THERE IT IS.
LOOKS A BIT CROWDED.
\h\h( gunshots )
( man screaming)
( horn honking )
HEY! THAT'S MY CART!
OH, OF COURSE, IT IS.
HOW STUPID OF ME.
HERE. PLEASE TAKE IT.
( crowd clamoring )
\h\h\hLOOK, SPUNKY,
LET'S GET THAT ONE.
COME ON!
SOMEBODY ELSE WILL GET IT.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hLET'S GO!
\h\h\h\h\hHOW DARE YOU?
( blow lands )
( straining )
HERE'S A NICE SEA
\hFOR YOU, SPUNKY.
\h\h\h\h\h\hWoman on P.A.:
Ten minutes to shop, folks!
Ten minutes left
in the big sale!
( glass shattering )
( metal screeching )
( hissing )
EVERYTHING LOOKS SO GOOD
\h\hWHEN YOU'RE HUNGRY.
HMM
SWEET AND SOUR
BLOATED TICKS.
WOW! CHOCOLATE-COVERED
\h\h\h\h\hCOLLIE CURRY.
THEY NEVER HAVE MY FLAVOR.
BEEN A LONG TIME
\hSINCE I HAD ME
\h\h\h\h\h\hA BIG BOWL OF
HEAD CHEESE AND BERRIES.
BETTER GET SOME DOG FOOD.
Six minutes, shoppers!
Six minutes to go!
( glass shatters )
I GUESS THIS WILL DO THE JOB.
PLENTY OF STUFF DOWN THERE.
\h\hOKAY, SPUNKY,
LET'S GO THIS WAY.
AAH!
Attention, shoppers.
\hTime is almost up!
Spill in the seafood section.
\h\h\h\hSpill in the seafood.
\h\h\hFive minutes
till the sale ends.
Five minutes left!
Five minutes left
\h\hand counting!
\h\hYEAH, YEAH.
I KNOW, I KNOW.
WHAT ARE THESE?
LAVA PUFFS.
WATCH IT,
THEY MIGHT BE A LITTLE HOT.
( train whistle blows )
( screaming )
AHH.
( screaming )
ALL WE HAVE TO DO
IS GRAB SOME MEAT,
AND THEN WE'RE DONE.
I'M JUST A FAT LITTLE PIG.
A FAT, UGLY, UGLY BUTCHER
\h\h\h\h\h\hFROM BROOKLYN.
I'LL NEVER GET MARRIED.
\h\h\h\h\hSO I'LL GO TO
THE STARDUST BALLROOM,
AND YOU KNOW WHAT I'LL GET?
HEARTACHE. HEARTACHE.
OOH. LOOK AT THIS.
\h\h\h\h\h\hONE OF THE LIVERS
GOT OUT OF THE PACKAGE AGAIN.
BETTER WRAP IT UP.
\hEH, MAYBE MY LIFE'S
NOT SO BAD AFTER ALL.
( loud whirring )
SPUNKY, WHERE ARE YOU?
SPUNKY?
WHERE IN BLAZES IS MY DOG?
I'VE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE.
\hHippo Lady:
HOW DARE YOU!
( blow lands )
( price checker beeping )
\hAW, SPIT.
WHAT A LINE.
FOOF!
SPUNKY!
( whistling )
DOG MEAT? EHHH!
SIR, HAVEN'T YOU HEARD
\h\h\h\h\hTHAT DOG MEA
\hCAUSES YOU TO BE,
UH, UH, IRREGULAR?
I'LL TAKE MY CHANCES.
BUT DOG MEAT IS KNOWN
\h\hTO CONTAIN TRACES
OF DDT, PCBs, MSG,
\h\hCBCs AND BVDs.
I LIKE PCBs.
BUT, SIR, DON'T YOU KNOW
\hTHAT WHEN DOGS ARE HUNTED
BY THE EVIL MEAT COMPANIES,
THOUSANDS OF INNOCENT DOLPHINS
GET ACCIDENTALLY CAUGH
\h\h\h\h\hIN THEIR NETS?
IT'S HORRIBLE.
( scoffs )
\hSEA MAMMALS!
WHO NEEDS THEM?
THIS COUNTRY WOULD BE
\hA WHOLE LOT BETTER
\h\h\h\hWITHOUT THEM.
IN FACT, WE OUGHTA TAKE
\hALL THE SEA MAMMALS,
\hPUT THEM IN A BIG BOAT,
SEND IT ACROSS THE OCEAN,
AND SINK IT HALFWAY.
\h\h\h\h\h\hHEY, BUDDY,
MY WIFE'S A SEA MAMMAL!
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h( crying )
( blows landing )
\h\h( grunting )
\h\h\h\hWoman on P.A.:
Thank you for shopping
\h\h\h\hat Heap-O-Food.
One minute left
\hin our sale.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hRocko:
I'VE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE.
( grunts )
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h( clatter )
( beeping )
( stammering )
( stammering continues )
( beeping stops )
OH. OH, DARN.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hPRICE CHECK.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hUM, FROG BUTTER.
( feedback )
( clock ticking )
\h\h\hWoman on P.A.:
\hHey, is frog butter
in dairy or hygiene?
( rapid beeping )
( beeping continues )
( beeps )
AND YOUR TOTAL IS
AH.
[bell dings]
$150.
GEE, LOOKS LIKE YOU JUS
\h\hMISSED OUR BIG SALE.
HAVE A NICE DAY.
( yelling )
YOU CHEAP LITTLE RODDER!
I'VE BEEN RUN OVER BY A CAR,
MADE TO DRAG AROUND
\h\hA SHOPPING CART,
THREATENED BY YOUR GESTAPO
\h\h\h\h\hSECURITY GUARDS,
HAD ME HEAD SET ON FIRE,
\h\hI WAS ATTACKED
BY WILD LOBSTERS,
BEATEN BY A VERY LARGE WOMAN,
HAD ME DOG WRAPPED IN PLASTIC,
NEARLY STARVED TO DEATH,
\h\hAND I STILL BEA
THE 12:00 DEADLINE!
\h\hSO IF YOU DON'T CHANGE
THAT TOTAL BACK TO $1.50,
I WILL DO SOMETHING NOT NICE!
THAT'LL BE $1.50, PLEASE.
( bell dings )
WELL, SPUNKY,
\hGROCERY DAY
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hCAN BE
A VERY DANGEROUS DAY,
\hBUT AT LEAS
WE'VE GOT FOOD.
( whimpers )
LET'S GO HOME AND EAT.
( whining )
( crowd cheering )
\hTHE DAY AFTER TOMORROW
IS THE BIG DAY, SPUNKY.
\h\h\h\h\h\hWE HAVE SOME OF
THE BEST SEATS IN THE HOUSE
FOR THE W.W.W.W.F. MAIN EVENT.
THE LONG WAIT WAS WORTH IT.
( barks )
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTHERE.
THE TICKETS ARE SAFE HERE.
GOOD NIGHT, SPUNKY.
( rooster crowing )
( both snoring )
WHAT THE
SPUNKY, I THINK I'M COMING DOWN
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWITH SOMETHING.
I BETTER CALL HEFF--
HEFFER.
( thud )
( siren wailing )
( tires screeching )
( baby crying )
( coughing )
HEFFER, THANKS FOR TAKING ME
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTO THE DOCTOR.
I WOULDN'T MISS I
\h\hFOR THE WORLD.
\hTHESE WAITING ROOMS
ARE REAL FREAK SHOWS.
( coughing )
( coughing )
( thud )
NURSE.
EXCUSE ME.
CAN I SEE THE DOCTOR?
HOLD IT, SPEEDY.
BEFORE YOU SEE THE DOCTOR,
YOU GOTTA FILL THESE FORMS
IN TRIPLICATE.
GO DOWN TO THE EAST WING,
\h\h\h\hTAKE THE ELEVATOR,
THEN BACK TO THE WEST WING.
AND DON'T GET LOST.
HEY, HEY, WHERE DO YOU THINK
\h\h\h\h\hYOU'RE GOING, STUD?
( chuckling )
( saw whirring )
( patient screaming )
( rattling )
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h( rip )
( patient screaming )
( groans )
( toilet flushing )
AHA! SOMEONE TO HEAL.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hLET'S SEE.
WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM?
DON'T TELL ME.
DON'T TELL ME!
MM-HMM.
MM. AHA!
( clanging )
( rattling )
GOTTA GET THIS FIXED.
YEP, YOU'RE SICK.
I NEED SOME MEDICINE.
I NEED SOME MEDICINE.
WHAT?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI SAID,
"I NEED SOME MEDICINE."
MM-HMM.
( crash )
\h\h\h\h\hLET ME RUN SOME MORE TESTS
\h\h\h\h\hTO FIND THE EXACT PROBLEM.
COUGH, PLEASE.
( coughing )
MM-HMM.
AGAIN.
( coughs harder )
HMM?
AGAIN!
( coughs harder )
A--
( huffs )
THAT'LL BE FINE.
\h\h\h\h\hGOOD.
UH-HUH.
JUST WHAT I THOUGHT.
NEOCLASSICAL ELIZABETHAN
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBUILDUP.
THERE YOU GO.
THIS SHOULD DO THE TRICK.
AND THERE'S ONE MORE TES
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTO CONDUCT.
\h\h\h\h\h\hMan on P.A.:
Dr. Leroy to gynecology,
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hplease.
Dr. Leroy.
\h\h\h\h\h\hHEY, I THOUGH
I STRAPPED YOU TO THE BED.
( humming )
( gulps, gags, coughs )
( rattling )
( gulps )
( splash )
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h"WARNING.
NOT TO BE TAKEN ORALLY."
( yells )
( stifled belch )
( gagging )
( gagging intensifies )
( retches )
( splash )
( all vocalizing )
WHO-- WHO--
WHO ARE YOU?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWE ARE
THE ENCHANTED UPCHUCKS.
I'M SICK, I'M SICK, I'M SICK!
I'M RETCH.
I'M HURL.
I'M SPEW.
WE'RE HERE TO NURSE YOU
\h\h\h\h\hBACK TO LIFE.
\h\h\h\h\hAND IT SEEMS LIKE
WE CAME IN THE NICK OF TIME.
HMM. NO PULSE.
\h\h\h\h\h\hI GOTTA GET BETTER
FOR THE BIG W.W.W.W.F. MATCH.
\h\h\h\h\h\hWELL, THEN,
LET'S GO TO WORK, BOYS.
WE'LL FIX YOU RIGHT UP.
( panting )
WHAT DO YOU THINK, GUYS?
\h\h\h\h\hA LITTLE TEA
TO START HIM OFF WITH?
OH, I LIKE TEA.
WELL, THEN, YOU'LL LOVE--
TOE JAM TEA!
( all muttering )
( gags )
( gags )
( groaning )
( thud )
( whining, sniffing )
( slurping )
\h\h\h\h\hOUCH. MY HEAD
DOESN'T FEEL TOO WELL.
\h\hLET'S HAVE
A LOOK INSIDE.
THERE'S YOUR PROBLEM.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHMM?
LET'S SEE IF WE CAN'T
( grunting )
OOPS.
( laughs )
SORRY. HERE YOU GO.
UM, GOOD AS NEW.
( thud )
WHAT HE REALLY NEEDS
\h\h\h\hIS A HEAVY DOSE
OF VITAMIN C AND IRON.
HOP TO IT.
( all muttering )
OKAY, HURL,
BRING IT IN.
( thud )
( belches )
Enchanted Upchuckers:
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hIRON!
OH, MY HEAD.
ICE! ICE!
THAT'LL FIX HIS HEADACHE.
( teeth chattering )
\h\h\h\hOKAY, BOYS,
THIS'LL DO THE TRICK.
AHH!
\h\h\h\h\hBETTER PUT IN
A BIT MORE PEPPER, HURL.
( explosion )
( teeth chattering )
HERE WE GO.
\h\h\h( yelling )
( siren wailing )
( yells )
\hTHAT'S IT!
I'VE HAD IT!
YOU GUYS ARE HISTORY!
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHUH.
THAT'S GRATITUDE FOR YOU.
COME BACK HERE.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h( teeth chattering )
NOW I'VE GOT YOU.
PREPARE TO MEET YOUR
HUH?
( sniffing )
HEY, I FEEL GREAT.
I CAN BREATHE.
I'M CURED.
I OWE IT ALL TO YOU GUYS.
THANKS.
THINK NOTHING OF IT,
\h\h\h\h\hOLD BEAN.
( barking )
HEY, SPUNKY.
SPUNKY, LOOK AT ME.
I'M ALL BETTER.
\h\h\h\h\hWE CAN GO TO THE MATCH.
( whining )
WELL, OUR JOB IS DONE.
SEE YOU AROUND, PAL.
( vocalizes )
\h\h\hLOOKS LIKE WE'RE GONNA
MAKE THE BIG MATCH, SPUNKY.
( both snoring )
( muttering )
YEAH, IT'S MORNING.
RISE AND SHINE, SPUNKY.
\h\h\hIT'S THE BIG DAY.
\h\h\hOH, SPUNKY,
YOU CAUGHT MY FLU.
I'M SORRY.
HEY YA, ROCK.
\h\h\h\hTHOUGHT I'D COME BY
TO SEE HOW YOU WERE FEELING.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI'M OKAY,
BUT SPUNKY'S GOT THE BUG NOW.
\hI'M AFRAID WE WON'
MAKE IT TO THE MATCH.
DON'T WORRY, SPUNKY.
\h\h\h\hI'LL STAY HERE
AND TAKE CARE OF YOU.
\h\h\h\hHERE, HEFF.
TAKE THESE TICKETS.
THEY'RE THE BEST SEATS
\h\h\h\h\hIN THE HOUSE.
GEE, THANKS, ROCK!
\h\h\h\h\h\hDON'T WORRY.
I'LL HAVE A GREAT TIME.
\hHOPE YOU CAN FIND
SOMEONE TO GO WITH.
\h\h\h\h\h\hOH, YEAH.
I KNOW JUST THE ONE.
COME ON, SPUNKY.
\h\h\hLET'S GET ALL COMFY
AND WATCH THE MATCH ON TV.
\h( fanfare )
(crowd cheering )
THIS SHOULD BE GOOD.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAnnouncer:
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.
\h\h\hThe Wild World of Wacky
Wrestling Federation presents
THE MAIN EVENT!
\h\h\h\h\hIN THIS CORNER,
WEIGHING IN AT 14 POUNDS,
THE DOCTOR OF DOOM,
THE PROCTOLOGIST OF PAIN,
THAT MANIACAL MEDICINE MAN
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOF MOOSEJAW,
DR. BENDOVER!
WHAT? YOU?
I THOUGHT I STRAPPED YOU
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTO THE BED!
( growling )
\h\h\hDr. Bendover:
OW! OW! OH! OH! OH!
\h\h\h\h\h\hOW! OW!
OH! AH! AH!
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHurl:
I GOT 2O ON THE NURSE.
( buzzing and chirping )
( chuckling )
GOOD AS NEW.
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE ♪
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE.
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE ♪
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE.
SPUNKY!
SPUNKY!
( splat )
( screaming )
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE. ♪
ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE.
( laughing )
THAT WAS A HOOT!
FOOD. FOOD!
HEY! WHAT'S IT TAKE TO GE
\h\hSOME FOOD AROUND HERE?
( roaring )
FEED ME!
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA, SPUNKY.
LET'S CHECK THE KITCHEN AGAIN.
MAYBE WE'LL FIND
SOMETHING THERE THIS TIME.
IT'S THANKSGIVING.
( wind blowing )
( sniffing )
( clang )
( whimpers )
( gobbling )
WE'VE GOT NOTHING
\hTO EAT, SPUNKY.
\h\h\hAND I ONLY HAVE
3 DOLLARS TILL PAYDAY.
OH. HEY!
YOU'RE NOT GONNA PIDDLE
ON THAT PAPER, ARE YOU?
I'M NOT DONE WITH IT.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hGO ON.
WE KNOW BETTER.
WHAT? ALL FOOD 99% OFF
\h\h\hTILL NOON TODAY?
I CAN AFFORD THAT.
WHAT TIME IS IT?
( ticking )
15 MINUTES TILL NOON?
WE'VE GOT TO MAKE IT, SPUNKY,
OR WE DON'T EAT FOR A WEEK.
COME ON!
THERE IT IS.
LOOKS A BIT CROWDED.
\h\h( gunshots )
( man screaming)
( horn honking )
HEY! THAT'S MY CART!
OH, OF COURSE, IT IS.
HOW STUPID OF ME.
HERE. PLEASE TAKE IT.
( crowd clamoring )
\h\h\hLOOK, SPUNKY,
LET'S GET THAT ONE.
COME ON!
SOMEBODY ELSE WILL GET IT.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hLET'S GO!
\h\h\h\h\hHOW DARE YOU?
( blow lands )
( straining )
HERE'S A NICE SEA
\hFOR YOU, SPUNKY.
\h\h\h\h\h\hWoman on P.A.:
Ten minutes to shop, folks!
Ten minutes left
in the big sale!
( glass shattering )
( metal screeching )
( hissing )
EVERYTHING LOOKS SO GOOD
\h\hWHEN YOU'RE HUNGRY.
HMM
SWEET AND SOUR
BLOATED TICKS.
WOW! CHOCOLATE-COVERED
\h\h\h\h\hCOLLIE CURRY.
THEY NEVER HAVE MY FLAVOR.
BEEN A LONG TIME
\hSINCE I HAD ME
\h\h\h\h\h\hA BIG BOWL OF
HEAD CHEESE AND BERRIES.
BETTER GET SOME DOG FOOD.
Six minutes, shoppers!
Six minutes to go!
( glass shatters )
I GUESS THIS WILL DO THE JOB.
PLENTY OF STUFF DOWN THERE.
\h\hOKAY, SPUNKY,
LET'S GO THIS WAY.
AAH!
Attention, shoppers.
\hTime is almost up!
Spill in the seafood section.
\h\h\h\hSpill in the seafood.
\h\h\hFive minutes
till the sale ends.
Five minutes left!
Five minutes left
\h\hand counting!
\h\hYEAH, YEAH.
I KNOW, I KNOW.
WHAT ARE THESE?
LAVA PUFFS.
WATCH IT,
THEY MIGHT BE A LITTLE HOT.
( train whistle blows )
( screaming )
AHH.
( screaming )
ALL WE HAVE TO DO
IS GRAB SOME MEAT,
AND THEN WE'RE DONE.
I'M JUST A FAT LITTLE PIG.
A FAT, UGLY, UGLY BUTCHER
\h\h\h\h\h\hFROM BROOKLYN.
I'LL NEVER GET MARRIED.
\h\h\h\h\hSO I'LL GO TO
THE STARDUST BALLROOM,
AND YOU KNOW WHAT I'LL GET?
HEARTACHE. HEARTACHE.
OOH. LOOK AT THIS.
\h\h\h\h\h\hONE OF THE LIVERS
GOT OUT OF THE PACKAGE AGAIN.
BETTER WRAP IT UP.
\hEH, MAYBE MY LIFE'S
NOT SO BAD AFTER ALL.
( loud whirring )
SPUNKY, WHERE ARE YOU?
SPUNKY?
WHERE IN BLAZES IS MY DOG?
I'VE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE.
\hHippo Lady:
HOW DARE YOU!
( blow lands )
( price checker beeping )
\hAW, SPIT.
WHAT A LINE.
FOOF!
SPUNKY!
( whistling )
DOG MEAT? EHHH!
SIR, HAVEN'T YOU HEARD
\h\h\h\h\hTHAT DOG MEA
\hCAUSES YOU TO BE,
UH, UH, IRREGULAR?
I'LL TAKE MY CHANCES.
BUT DOG MEAT IS KNOWN
\h\hTO CONTAIN TRACES
OF DDT, PCBs, MSG,
\h\hCBCs AND BVDs.
I LIKE PCBs.
BUT, SIR, DON'T YOU KNOW
\hTHAT WHEN DOGS ARE HUNTED
BY THE EVIL MEAT COMPANIES,
THOUSANDS OF INNOCENT DOLPHINS
GET ACCIDENTALLY CAUGH
\h\h\h\h\hIN THEIR NETS?
IT'S HORRIBLE.
( scoffs )
\hSEA MAMMALS!
WHO NEEDS THEM?
THIS COUNTRY WOULD BE
\hA WHOLE LOT BETTER
\h\h\h\hWITHOUT THEM.
IN FACT, WE OUGHTA TAKE
\hALL THE SEA MAMMALS,
\hPUT THEM IN A BIG BOAT,
SEND IT ACROSS THE OCEAN,
AND SINK IT HALFWAY.
\h\h\h\h\h\hHEY, BUDDY,
MY WIFE'S A SEA MAMMAL!
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h( crying )
( blows landing )
\h\h( grunting )
\h\h\h\hWoman on P.A.:
Thank you for shopping
\h\h\h\hat Heap-O-Food.
One minute left
\hin our sale.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hRocko:
I'VE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE.
( grunts )
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h( clatter )
( beeping )
( stammering )
( stammering continues )
( beeping stops )
OH. OH, DARN.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hPRICE CHECK.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hUM, FROG BUTTER.
( feedback )
( clock ticking )
\h\h\hWoman on P.A.:
\hHey, is frog butter
in dairy or hygiene?
( rapid beeping )
( beeping continues )
( beeps )
AND YOUR TOTAL IS
AH.
[bell dings]
$150.
GEE, LOOKS LIKE YOU JUS
\h\hMISSED OUR BIG SALE.
HAVE A NICE DAY.
( yelling )
YOU CHEAP LITTLE RODDER!
I'VE BEEN RUN OVER BY A CAR,
MADE TO DRAG AROUND
\h\hA SHOPPING CART,
THREATENED BY YOUR GESTAPO
\h\h\h\h\hSECURITY GUARDS,
HAD ME HEAD SET ON FIRE,
\h\hI WAS ATTACKED
BY WILD LOBSTERS,
BEATEN BY A VERY LARGE WOMAN,
HAD ME DOG WRAPPED IN PLASTIC,
NEARLY STARVED TO DEATH,
\h\hAND I STILL BEA
THE 12:00 DEADLINE!
\h\hSO IF YOU DON'T CHANGE
THAT TOTAL BACK TO $1.50,
I WILL DO SOMETHING NOT NICE!
THAT'LL BE $1.50, PLEASE.
( bell dings )
WELL, SPUNKY,
\hGROCERY DAY
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hCAN BE
A VERY DANGEROUS DAY,
\hBUT AT LEAS
WE'VE GOT FOOD.
( whimpers )
LET'S GO HOME AND EAT.
( whining )
( crowd cheering )
\hTHE DAY AFTER TOMORROW
IS THE BIG DAY, SPUNKY.
\h\h\h\h\h\hWE HAVE SOME OF
THE BEST SEATS IN THE HOUSE
FOR THE W.W.W.W.F. MAIN EVENT.
THE LONG WAIT WAS WORTH IT.
( barks )
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTHERE.
THE TICKETS ARE SAFE HERE.
GOOD NIGHT, SPUNKY.
( rooster crowing )
( both snoring )
WHAT THE
SPUNKY, I THINK I'M COMING DOWN
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWITH SOMETHING.
I BETTER CALL HEFF--
HEFFER.
( thud )
( siren wailing )
( tires screeching )
( baby crying )
( coughing )
HEFFER, THANKS FOR TAKING ME
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTO THE DOCTOR.
I WOULDN'T MISS I
\h\hFOR THE WORLD.
\hTHESE WAITING ROOMS
ARE REAL FREAK SHOWS.
( coughing )
( coughing )
( thud )
NURSE.
EXCUSE ME.
CAN I SEE THE DOCTOR?
HOLD IT, SPEEDY.
BEFORE YOU SEE THE DOCTOR,
YOU GOTTA FILL THESE FORMS
IN TRIPLICATE.
GO DOWN TO THE EAST WING,
\h\h\h\hTAKE THE ELEVATOR,
THEN BACK TO THE WEST WING.
AND DON'T GET LOST.
HEY, HEY, WHERE DO YOU THINK
\h\h\h\h\hYOU'RE GOING, STUD?
( chuckling )
( saw whirring )
( patient screaming )
( rattling )
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h( rip )
( patient screaming )
( groans )
( toilet flushing )
AHA! SOMEONE TO HEAL.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hLET'S SEE.
WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM?
DON'T TELL ME.
DON'T TELL ME!
MM-HMM.
MM. AHA!
( clanging )
( rattling )
GOTTA GET THIS FIXED.
YEP, YOU'RE SICK.
I NEED SOME MEDICINE.
I NEED SOME MEDICINE.
WHAT?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI SAID,
"I NEED SOME MEDICINE."
MM-HMM.
( crash )
\h\h\h\h\hLET ME RUN SOME MORE TESTS
\h\h\h\h\hTO FIND THE EXACT PROBLEM.
COUGH, PLEASE.
( coughing )
MM-HMM.
AGAIN.
( coughs harder )
HMM?
AGAIN!
( coughs harder )
A--
( huffs )
THAT'LL BE FINE.
\h\h\h\h\hGOOD.
UH-HUH.
JUST WHAT I THOUGHT.
NEOCLASSICAL ELIZABETHAN
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hBUILDUP.
THERE YOU GO.
THIS SHOULD DO THE TRICK.
AND THERE'S ONE MORE TES
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTO CONDUCT.
\h\h\h\h\h\hMan on P.A.:
Dr. Leroy to gynecology,
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hplease.
Dr. Leroy.
\h\h\h\h\h\hHEY, I THOUGH
I STRAPPED YOU TO THE BED.
( humming )
( gulps, gags, coughs )
( rattling )
( gulps )
( splash )
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h"WARNING.
NOT TO BE TAKEN ORALLY."
( yells )
( stifled belch )
( gagging )
( gagging intensifies )
( retches )
( splash )
( all vocalizing )
WHO-- WHO--
WHO ARE YOU?
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hWE ARE
THE ENCHANTED UPCHUCKS.
I'M SICK, I'M SICK, I'M SICK!
I'M RETCH.
I'M HURL.
I'M SPEW.
WE'RE HERE TO NURSE YOU
\h\h\h\h\hBACK TO LIFE.
\h\h\h\h\hAND IT SEEMS LIKE
WE CAME IN THE NICK OF TIME.
HMM. NO PULSE.
\h\h\h\h\h\hI GOTTA GET BETTER
FOR THE BIG W.W.W.W.F. MATCH.
\h\h\h\h\h\hWELL, THEN,
LET'S GO TO WORK, BOYS.
WE'LL FIX YOU RIGHT UP.
( panting )
WHAT DO YOU THINK, GUYS?
\h\h\h\h\hA LITTLE TEA
TO START HIM OFF WITH?
OH, I LIKE TEA.
WELL, THEN, YOU'LL LOVE--
TOE JAM TEA!
( all muttering )
( gags )
( gags )
( groaning )
( thud )
( whining, sniffing )
( slurping )
\h\h\h\h\hOUCH. MY HEAD
DOESN'T FEEL TOO WELL.
\h\hLET'S HAVE
A LOOK INSIDE.
THERE'S YOUR PROBLEM.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHMM?
LET'S SEE IF WE CAN'T
( grunting )
OOPS.
( laughs )
SORRY. HERE YOU GO.
UM, GOOD AS NEW.
( thud )
WHAT HE REALLY NEEDS
\h\h\h\hIS A HEAVY DOSE
OF VITAMIN C AND IRON.
HOP TO IT.
( all muttering )
OKAY, HURL,
BRING IT IN.
( thud )
( belches )
Enchanted Upchuckers:
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hIRON!
OH, MY HEAD.
ICE! ICE!
THAT'LL FIX HIS HEADACHE.
( teeth chattering )
\h\h\h\hOKAY, BOYS,
THIS'LL DO THE TRICK.
AHH!
\h\h\h\h\hBETTER PUT IN
A BIT MORE PEPPER, HURL.
( explosion )
( teeth chattering )
HERE WE GO.
\h\h\h( yelling )
( siren wailing )
( yells )
\hTHAT'S IT!
I'VE HAD IT!
YOU GUYS ARE HISTORY!
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHUH.
THAT'S GRATITUDE FOR YOU.
COME BACK HERE.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h( teeth chattering )
NOW I'VE GOT YOU.
PREPARE TO MEET YOUR
HUH?
( sniffing )
HEY, I FEEL GREAT.
I CAN BREATHE.
I'M CURED.
I OWE IT ALL TO YOU GUYS.
THANKS.
THINK NOTHING OF IT,
\h\h\h\h\hOLD BEAN.
( barking )
HEY, SPUNKY.
SPUNKY, LOOK AT ME.
I'M ALL BETTER.
\h\h\h\h\hWE CAN GO TO THE MATCH.
( whining )
WELL, OUR JOB IS DONE.
SEE YOU AROUND, PAL.
( vocalizes )
\h\h\hLOOKS LIKE WE'RE GONNA
MAKE THE BIG MATCH, SPUNKY.
( both snoring )
( muttering )
YEAH, IT'S MORNING.
RISE AND SHINE, SPUNKY.
\h\h\hIT'S THE BIG DAY.
\h\h\hOH, SPUNKY,
YOU CAUGHT MY FLU.
I'M SORRY.
HEY YA, ROCK.
\h\h\h\hTHOUGHT I'D COME BY
TO SEE HOW YOU WERE FEELING.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hI'M OKAY,
BUT SPUNKY'S GOT THE BUG NOW.
\hI'M AFRAID WE WON'
MAKE IT TO THE MATCH.
DON'T WORRY, SPUNKY.
\h\h\h\hI'LL STAY HERE
AND TAKE CARE OF YOU.
\h\h\h\hHERE, HEFF.
TAKE THESE TICKETS.
THEY'RE THE BEST SEATS
\h\h\h\h\hIN THE HOUSE.
GEE, THANKS, ROCK!
\h\h\h\h\h\hDON'T WORRY.
I'LL HAVE A GREAT TIME.
\hHOPE YOU CAN FIND
SOMEONE TO GO WITH.
\h\h\h\h\h\hOH, YEAH.
I KNOW JUST THE ONE.
COME ON, SPUNKY.
\h\h\hLET'S GET ALL COMFY
AND WATCH THE MATCH ON TV.
\h( fanfare )
(crowd cheering )
THIS SHOULD BE GOOD.
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hAnnouncer:
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.
\h\h\hThe Wild World of Wacky
Wrestling Federation presents
THE MAIN EVENT!
\h\h\h\h\hIN THIS CORNER,
WEIGHING IN AT 14 POUNDS,
THE DOCTOR OF DOOM,
THE PROCTOLOGIST OF PAIN,
THAT MANIACAL MEDICINE MAN
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hOF MOOSEJAW,
DR. BENDOVER!
WHAT? YOU?
I THOUGHT I STRAPPED YOU
\h\h\h\h\h\h\hTO THE BED!
( growling )
\h\h\hDr. Bendover:
OW! OW! OH! OH! OH!
\h\h\h\h\h\hOW! OW!
OH! AH! AH!
\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hHurl:
I GOT 2O ON THE NURSE.