Rutherford Falls (2021) s01e08 Episode Script


Gotta say, those
economy seats feel a lot bigger
when someone else is paying for them.
Okay, I know you're used to it,
but I'm freaking pumped.
If I would have known that
there were travel perks,
I would have joined
the dark side a long time ago.
Please, stop calling your own
people the dark side,
and remember, the goal of attending
this gaming conference
is to represent the casino.
Mm-hmm, totally.
Do you think that
this suitcase is big enough
for all of the free swag?
Terry, relax.
I am the poster child
for professionalism, okay?
Oh, my God, is that for us?
Ah, act like you've been
in a car before.
Do we tip you?
Do we tip him?
[upbeat music]

Why is it so dark in here?
Because I'm hungover.
What do you want, Chisenhall?
I have a multi-step plan
that can save the town's land
and yours.
Step one begins when the town council
meets this week to discuss Big Larry.
Due to my advocacy,
they all want to move it.
I thought you were gonna say a plan.
It just sounds like
you're dunking on me.
But now Big Larry will stay put,
as doing so serves
both of our interests.
It does?
let's say this corral
is the town council meeting
and I guess the horses are the council.
You're a pig.
Big Larry will stay put
because at the meeting,
you'll make a "Save the Statue" speech
that is so moving and eloquent,
that I will suddenly side with you.
Why would you do that?
When people see that I've come around
to the statue,
our unlikely alliance will create
an inspiring narrative that people
will want to rally around.
People will be like,
"Whoa, they're together.
I want to be a part of that."
And then, boom. Step two.
We flood The Daily Star
with pro-Rutherford op-eds.
We host events at your museum
that gin up civic pride.
Bobbie cranks outs
the memes and the hashtags.
We create a movement.
Us versus Terry.
And by the time his land deal
is up for final approval,
There's no way the town
will sign off on it.
That's a smart piggy.
Ah, I think of myself
as more of a rooster
crowing for justice, but, uh
this is a really good plan.
I know.
Mm, I love that leather smell.
Don't mind if I do.
We spent years
trying to work our way up
from a double-wide bingo hall
to a mid-tier casino,
but with this
Rutherford land deal happening
so much faster than I've intended,
we're in a position
to show these other nations
that we're leveling up in a major way.
I'm so happy for you.
A reminder, though--
I don't love your hedonistic,
Ayn Rand fever dream.
What I'm saying is,
you should think bigger.
Forget the swag.
You're about to meet
the most successful
entrepreneurs and philanthropists
across Indian country.
[phone buzzes]
He feels bad.
I found a Townes Van Zandt CD
taped to my door
with "If I Needed You" highlighted.
So much drama.
This is why it's not worth
being friends with white people.
[gavel clacks]
We now move to discussion measure 347B:
removal of the Big Larry statue
on County Road.
First to speak
will be Nathan Rutherford.
Here we go.
Good luck.
Members of the council,
Mayor Chisenhall,
my fellow citizens,
I have come here today
to save one thing.
The statue of Lawrence Rutherford
is in the way.
- What?
- There's just no way
to deny that.
Where is he going with this?
But that's no surprise.
Lawrence Rutherford has always
been in the way.
When King Charles II imposed
unfair taxes on the colonies,
Lawrence Rutherford stood in his way,
rallying the town against tyranny.
When the French refused
to trade with the Minishonka,
Lawrence Rutherford stood in the way
of bigotry,
penning the fair and honest deal
and thus founding Rutherford Falls.
And so a statue was erected
on the exact spot
of that historic deal.
Now, I know it's kind of
an awkward time for statues.
Many have been rightly removed.
They commemorated questionable deeds,
but when a statue commemorates
the great deeds of our ancestors,
mustn't we preserve that
as guidance and inspiration
for our future?
Inspiration. Future.
Thank you, citizen.
And so, Big Larry stands,
shoulders back,
heart full,
proclaiming "Yes, yes,
"I am in the way."
And he should stay in the way.
Now and forever.
I yield my time.
[gavel clacking]
[cheers and applause]
Well, it's not yielding your time
when you use it all,
but quite the moving speech,
Mr. Rutherford.
that doesn't change the fact
that this statue's location
is an issue of public safety--
You know, I have long advocated
for the moving of this statue.
But perhaps I've been too rigid
in my thinking.
What are you talking about?
I thought we all--
Nathan's passion has moved me,
and if two people
from very different backgrounds
can come together in harmony
on this issue,
well, isn't that in itself a monument
to the resilience and progress
of our fair town?
[people murmuring]
Very stirring words, Mayor Chisenhall.
Different backgrounds. I'm sorry.
Didn't you guys
go to the same high school?
She's right.
We're all the same underneath.
I move we take the issue
for further study.
[cheers and applause]
[mellow music]
Nice medallion, Flavor Flav.
Our people have an old saying:
if you've got it, flaunt it.
Speaking of
Oh, business cards?
What booth did you get this at,
and where can I find it?
Reagan, you are now
the associate director
of the Running Thunder Casino.
Okay, wow, that is
an important-sounding title.
does this new job
come with a pay increase,
and/or bennies,
and what does an
associate director do exactly?
We'll work out the details later,
but the short answer is,
no, no, and whatever I say.
Right now, I need you
to stop pocketing swag,
and look professional.
Oh, Terry Thomas.
Great to see you.
Congrats on Running Lightning.
It's a big step for
the little Minishonka Nation.
Reagan Wells, this is Roy Crooks,
director of the Spirit Pond
Resort and Casino
in Minnesota.
Oh, that's the old name.
Now we're the Spirit Pond
Resort, Casino,
Indoor Water Park, and Dispensary.
Now folks can gamble,
get a little toasty,
and float down a lazy river.
Holy shit.
Hey, you doing plyotronics yet?
I can give you the number to our guy.
No need.
We do our plyotronics in-house.
Good for you. See you guys over there.
See you soon, there.
What are plyotronics?
No idea.
Googling it now.
Zero results.
Wow, that is cutting edge.
All right, and here we have
a fine cabernet
from the Finger Lakes region.
This particular bottle is 1 of 12
won by my great-uncle,
James Hatter Rutherford,
in a game of Old Maid in 1964.
You know,
I'd like to propose a toast
to you, our mastermind.
We couldn't have done this
without your plan
and your ability to
overlook the
Rutherford-Chisenhall feud.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Well, you know what they say.
The enemy of my enemy
is my temporary co-conspirator.
All righty.
[clears throat]
And I have to give you credit.
That speech you gave was impressive.
Ah, come on.
You know, I was just
speaking from the heart.
It's easy to be passionate
when you mean it.
All right.
What's your deal?
How is it that you care
this much about this stuff?
I want to show you something.
[soft music]
That's a butter knife.
Is it? Or is it history?
- Hm.
- In 1722,
Gregory Chisenhall snuck into
the Rutherford stables
in the dead of night
and stole a prized thoroughbred.
He stole a horse?
That's why your family's
held this stupid grudge
all these years?
Well, no, it gets crazier.
So, Charles Rutherford
then chased Gregory and the horse
all the way to Lake Placid.
A fight ensued, and enraged,
Charles attempted to plunge this knife
into Gregory's chest-- of course,
this being a butter knife,
it only left a bruise.
But you can see here on the handle
where it splintered,
and, uh,
Charles was actually
hurt worse than Gregory.
He got a terrible infection,
almost died,
and thus began
the 300-year feud.
All because of a butter knife.
And, uh,
And the Rutherford
[gentle piano music]

[toy train whistle toots]
[soft playful music]
[in a British accent]
Good morning.
Oh, wow.
thanks for the wine and etcetera,
but I should head out.
I'll be in touch with next steps.
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Deidre, just, uh,
stick around a little bit.
I mean, we can talk about the plan,
or the weather.
Yeah, at least have some breakfast.
Look at this.
I suppose the damage is done.
That's the spirit!
All right.
[relaxed music]

Hey, don't go in there.
- It's the worst.
- So boring.
Oh, I think I'm supposed to.
I'm an associate director.
Us too, but in there,
is two hours of comparing
notation apps.
Or you can come and hang with us.
You guys coming in?
Hope you like icebreakers.
Yeah, we can't go in there.
We still need a solution
for the road around Big Larry,
but if we keep the town
and council on our side
until Terry announces
his casino expansion--
why are you still smiling like that?
A Rutherford and a Chisenhall--
for the first time in recorded history.
This has never happened before, Deidre.
We walked on the moon last night.
You're ridiculous,
and I'm leaving,
and I'm taking this biscuit.
Okay, um,
when am I gonna see you again?
Or, uh,
will I see you again?

[door opens, closes]

Hey, it's me.
Um, listen, I know it's been awhile,
and we're not really talking right now,
but, uh, I had to call you,
because, um,
I had sex with
Deidre Chisenhall last night
and it was totally amazing and awesome,
and I just felt like
you totally had to know,
and so, okay, call me back.
Soon, gaming will comprise
less than 30%
of the revenue for our nation.
Those who get stuck
playing the old games
the old ways
will simply get left behind.
Now I'd like to take any questions.
Excuse me, I have a question.
Uh, when you say soon,
this is all, what, uh,
20 years away, maybe 30?
That's cute.
No, these projections
are for 2023, so--
that's a good one though,
Terry. [chuckles]
Some of that famous Minishonka humor.
Laughter is medicine
for our people, so
[indistinct chatter]
[quirky music]

Morning, Charlie.
As your employee,
it's not appropriate for me
to ask why you're wearing
the same outfit as yesterday,
so I won't.
I had sex with Nathan Rutherford.
[stammering] Uh, well,
let's talk this out.
Oh, God, what have I done?
It's bad, isn't it?
This could be really good.
Your voters vote in the town
that shares his name.
Also, I like him.
The last guy was not
a full 9/11 truther, but--
Ah, can we not?
I have to think on this.
In the meantime, I just pray
I can count on Nathan's discretion.
Ah, I hooked up with
Deidre Chisenhall last night.
- No.
- Yeah.
Tell me everything.
Okay, you can't tell anybody.
Honestly, I'm not even sure
it's appropriate
for me to be telling you this,
but Reagan's
not answering my calls so--
- Spill, bitch!
- Okay!
All right, it was totally unexpected.
She came over,
I opened a bottle of cabernet--
Hatter Rutherford's?
Yeah, natch,
and then next thing I know,
I'm making her breakfast.
This is incredible.
You're like an old Hollywood couple,
like Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello.
Yeah, okay.
Things are really turning around
for Nathan Rutherford here, you know?
This is--this is good.
This feels really good.
We gotta build on this momentum.
Keep up the victim narrative
so people stay sympathetic to my cause.
[knocking at door]
We should get you a key.
Big Larry was vandalized last night
and there's a bunch of crap
spray painted all over him
and the town is up in arms.
Oh, for Christ's sake. Nathan!
It was Bobbie's idea--
classic false flag operation.
Don't worry, nobody saw us,
and the enamel washes off super easily.
It'll win over any townspeople
or council members
who are still on the fence.
And thus begins step two.
Galvanizing public opinion.
You've got some moves, Mr. Rutherford.
Shall we discuss step three?
Well, that was unexpected.
Nice, but unexpected.
Yeah, I should get going.
I really want to make a big show
of cleaning up the statue.
I could show up.
Condemn the vandalism.
Listen to us.
Already scheming like
a political power couple.
- Hm, very House of Cards.
- Ooh.
You know,
I watched two episodes of that.
Everybody was really mean
to each other.
Decided it wasn't for me.
I love the show Bones, though.
My boss spent 4,000,000
of the tribe's profits
on a yacht.
We live in Idaho.
Where does this moron think
he's sailing to?
How about you? Any war stories?
Oh, no.
I've only been an associate
director for 15 hours,
and I'm using this job to
advance my cultural center, so--
That's your Rick's honeymoon.
My Rick's what-ing moon?
Rick was an AD from years ago,
always saving up
for a honeymoon in Italy,
but he kept pushing it off
and putting it off, and--
we all have our versions.
And the only reason I took this job
was to get me through med school,
but that was 15 years ago?
What about you guys?
Tribal language teacher.
Chemical dependency counselor.
Oh, God.
Look, AD is a good gig. Be happy.
No, I am.
And Rick did eventually
go on that honeymoon, right?
He got divorced.
They never even got passports.
When we work together,
and we share our unique ideas,
that's not only innovative,
but it's traditional.
I have to go on Rick's honeymoon.
What? Hold on.
The next presentation's about to begin.
Allow me to present
the newest innovation
in gaming.
Long ago, when money was new,
our people thrived
by selling our most
beautiful traditional art
to Euro-American tourists.
That was then,
but the future is now.
[exciting music]
Completely experiential,
our customers are limited
only by their imagination
and bank accounts.
Welcome to the casino of tomorrow.
[cheers and applause]
What in the name
of Black Mirror is this?

[truck beeping]
The defacement of Big Larry
is an assault
to the very soul of our town.
Local authorities
will do everything they can
to catch the culprits responsible.
You are one handsome devil.
Should have done this a long time ago.
[soft dramatic music]

"Mal Merde"?
Never seen that before.
Everything okay up there?
Thanks for meeting with me, Rayanne.
Let me show you what I found
etched into Big Larry.
The first part's in our language,
but this part
Wait, what? What does it say?
That's what it says.
Bad shit. Mal Merde.
"Mal Merde"--where have
I heard that before?
Well, it's a French and Indian amalgam.
It was common back then
because of all the trading.
That's why so many of our last names
are so Frenched up.
Okay, so what does
the whole phrase mean?
That says, uh,
"Don't trust Mal-Mer."
Yeah, over time,
Mal Merde became Mal-Mer.
The people say that a monster came
from across the ocean
and made its home here
in the woodlands of the Minishonka--
wore the mask of a white man
and pretended to be our friend.
And this was just,
like, local folklore?
Yes, and this monster
had an insatiable appetite
for one thing:
the poop of children.
I'm just confused.
What does a poop-eating forest creature
have to do with Lawrence Rutherford?
I hate to tell you this, Nathan,
but the legend of Mal-Mer
is actually about Lawrence Rutherford.
[scoffs, laughs]
I'm serious.
He was a real bastard to our people.
Lawrence Sr. may not have eaten poop,
but pardon my French,
he was a real shit head.
Yeah, no, that's--
are you sure your knowledge
of your language is accurate?
Yeah, sorry. I-I apologize.
That was
[clears throat]
Thank you for your candor.
[relaxed music]
I can't stop thinking about
this VR presentation.
It's so freaking messed up.
I know.
That tech will be obsolete
before they even make their nut.
So shortsighted.
Um, but mostly
it's super tropey and stereotypical
and it sets all of us back by,
like, a hundred years, right?
Would I do a Lone Ranger
and Tonto thing?
Not my taste.
But a lot of Westerns
were shot on Navajo lands.
If it brings them profits,
who am I to judge?
It doesn't matter.
Apparently, casinos are over.
Now it's all marijuana theme parks.
We'll never catch up.
Hey, you okay?
You're looking very
"End of the Trail" right now.
This was supposed
to be our victory dance,
but every time we level up, so do they.
"Every time we level up, so do they"?
Hey, I'm making big sacrifices
to join you on this,
not to watch you be a big baby.
I'm not gonna give up,
and neither should you.
So what's it gonna be?
You gonna cry around about it all day?
Or are you gonna suck it up
and be the badass
everyone knows you are?
Let's go then, Thomas.
Let's do this, Wells.
How exactly do we do this?
I actually don't know.
But this?
This is not leveling up, okay?
This is a native minstrel show,
and we can do better.
Does seem lucrative.
Terry, you hate it when white people
portray us like this.
Now we have a little bit of power
and we're gonna do it to ourselves?
[slot machines chiming]
You are a genius.
What's happening?
We have a lot of work to do.
"The monster was once a foreign friend
"to the people,
"but his greed for their harvest
"turned him into a twisted beast.
"Mal-Mer took everything
from the Minishonka,
"and when they had
nothing left to give,
"he came for their feces"?
[phone vibrates]
[mellow music]
- Reags.
- Hey, there.
Hey. I've been trying to reach you.
Sorry, I was traveling for work.
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. Where'd you go?
- Well, I--
- We should be good.
There have been some rifts
historically and recently
among the people in this room.
But what if I told you
we could turn a large profit
for the Minishonka Nation,
employ every citizen
of Rutherford Falls,
allow Nathan to keep his home,
and settle the Big Larry issue
once and for all?
I say you're full of it.
Yeah, what she said.
Fair enough.
But this idea comes straight
from my new associate director.
Reagan, take it away.
- Since when?
- Thank you, Terry.
Gives me too much credit,
but I am thrilled to announce
an exciting new chapter.
Rutherford Falls is a town
defined by its history
and that history can benefit us all.
We present to you
Ye Olde Rutherford Village,
a cutting edge retail
tourism community.
The entire town center
will be transformed
into 17th century Rutherford Falls
with period costumes and shops,
just like Colonial Williamsburg.
Oh, my God.
Revamping the town will create
hundreds of new jobs,
as will the new and improved
Running Lightning Casino and Resort.
Our future is our past.
There's only three people
in the East Coast
that can make a model this detailed.
Who did this?
Was it Danielle?
Did Danielle make this?
- I--
- Marshall?
How could you?
I sang at your wedding.
You want to change the name
and civic order
of an already established township?
Not at all.
The name only applies
to the new shopping complex.
In this version of things,
we own the land,
but the town remains
mostly the same size
minus the area we use
to expand the casino.
An influx of
new businesses and visitors
means your tax revenue will go way up.
Well, that was a pretty positive, huh?
I'm thinking, Nathan.
My constituents might like
lots of jobs and money.
This is absurd.
Nathan, look at the opportunity here.
We could showcase the Rutherford brand
in the way that you've always imagined.
I'm sorry, who are you?
You sound like Terry.
Are you my best friend,
or the associate director
of terrible ideas?
We're trying to make Disney World.
And Nathan, we want you
to be our Mickey Mouse.
And as long as you work with us,
you can remain in your house
and run your museum.
Uh, so, you're gonna take my land
but allow me to stay on it
under your terms?
Think of it as a fair and honest deal.
Well, you can take your deal
and shove it up
your fair and honest butt.
[upbeat music]

[woman speaks foreign language]
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