Satisfaction (2007) s03e06 Episode Script

Staples, Guns and Roses

[ funky dance music .]
- MAN: Whoo! - WOMAN: Whoo! Whoo! - Yow! [ laughs .]
- Whoo! [ laughs .]
Drink up.
- How are you travelling? - I hate crowds.
- [ laughs .]
- I'm hoping we'll get shitfaced.
- Or get laid! - Whoo! Whoo! [ all laugh, whoop .]
Yeah! [ dance music continues .]
[ laughs .]
Ow! Whoo! Eat me, Seany.
This came for you today, Lauren.
Hmm.
Thanks.
A letter.
Truly, you're a brain surgeon.
They're a rare species these days.
Letters.
You should start a club.
Society for the Preservation of Letters.
Are you having enough sex, Lauren? What? I think maybe this managerial training is putting pressure on certain parts of your body.
I've been seeing clients.
Or maybe you haven't got the balance right.
I'm onto it.
Thanks.
Wendy? WOMAN: "I just wanted to make a last-ditch effort "to get you to my 40th birthday party.
"I had hoped you would've responded to my invitation.
"I really want all my best mates there.
"Hope to hear from you.
" John.
Hi.
Hello, Lauren.
You OK? Yeah, sure.
I I just heard from an old friend.
Her 40th is coming up and I just haven't heard from her for a long time.
- And that's not a good thing? - Oh, no, no.
It's fine.
It's just she sent it to my old address and I never got it and I think she thinks I snubbed her.
Well, you better get onto that.
I don't think I've got you down, John.
I was just thinking is Tess around? Yeah.
she'll be here in a minute.
And I think she's got some free time.
- Well, that'd be good.
Thanks.
- Yeah.
That one.
Yeah.
Why do beauticians always run late? Huh? Half an hour I had to wait.
Ah.
A conspiracy.
Client feels stressed, beautician gets to soothe.
Client feels good, buys more product.
- Oh, you really think so? - Uh-huh.
It's just like what we do.
Come to think of it, I really didn't need that face oil.
- See? - But it has happened to you? I've barely been to a beautician.
Only just booked into a regular appointment now that I can afford it.
What are you doing? Just storing some stuff.
- What stuff? - Uni crap and clothes.
You know.
Bits and pieces.
Um, but don't tell Nat, OK? Well, you know she'll find out.
She knows everthing that goes on in this place.
Yeah, well, I just need some time to find a place.
Taking a while.
I'm not going to move in with just any old bogan.
Now that you can afford regular beauty treatments? Something like that, yeah.
- Client.
- I'll do it.
- He need to be treated with care.
- Noted.
I want him treated with care.
He's yours, Tess.
It's John.
- Lauren? - Yeah? I get the feeling there's something to know about John.
You've slept with him.
I haven't.
No.
You'd like to.
He knows I'm more than just a manager.
That I see the men.
He doesn't strike me as a guy who likes blurring the boundaries.
I could put in a good word for you.
Just put in a good performance.
That's your job.
- Are you OK? - I'm fine.
- Oh, this is great.
- [ grunts .]
- [ groans .]
- [ chuckles .]
Thanks.
Pleasure.
Wasn't too too rough for you? No.
You were a gentleman.
- Really? - Perfect gentleman.
[ sighs .]
Maybe that's my problem.
Pardon? I'm sorry, did I say the wrong thing? [ groans .]
You're right.
I meant it as a compliment.
Thanks.
- 'Night, Nat.
- NAT: See you tomorrow.
Yes, my boyfriend is my rubbermate.
WOMAN: I had a straight boyfriend once.
Tried to balance.
It was a disaster.
Can't do both.
Never again.
Felt like a freak.
Funny, huh? People usually call us freaks.
But nothing matters once you find yourself.
Don't you think? It helps me forget.
Me.
[ phone rings .]
[ dance music plays .]
[ ringing continues .]
[ pants, groans .]
[ groans .]
[ ringing continues, bottles clink .]
[ groans .]
Yeah.
That's right.
You shut up! Shut up.
Shut up.
[ dials phone .]
- [ phone rings .]
- [ pants .]
- Sean? - Babe.
- [ pants .]
- Did you just call me 'babe'? Nat, I don't feel so good.
Why? What's the matter? Oh, God [ retches .]
[ retches, coughs .]
Sean, are you alright? - Sean, what's going on? - [ retches, coughs .]
- Sean?! - [ coughs .]
Amy! [ claps hands .]
Oh oh, fuck.
What are you doing? Um I fell asleep.
Hmm.
Indefinitely.
No, no, I was I was going to - Don't tell fibs, Amy.
- Alarm didn't go off.
There are thousands if not tens of thousands of hotel rooms in this city.
I'm trying to save some money till I can find a place.
Some friends that you could stay with, maybe? They all live with their parents, and I'm off daddies and mummies at the moment.
Hmm.
Well, this is unacceptable.
But there are all these lovely beds.
They're not for sleeping.
Come on.
- Makes perfect sense.
- No, it doesn't.
- And you didn't even think to ask.
- I knew you'd say no.
Really? Well, can I? I'm not running a sleep school for restless children.
And how did I not see you before I left last night? Maybe I'm a bit smarter than you.
[ scoffs .]
Don't push your luck.
And don't be a scrooge.
Go spoil yourself.
Spend some money on a nice hotel it's what we work so hard for.
[ dance music .]
[ phone rings .]
Hey, Seany! Hey.
How you feeling? Crap.
You? Well, 'shit' doesn't even begin to describe it.
[ groans .]
I spent the last hour in the bathroom.
Yeah, me too.
Must've been those chilli prawns we had on the way over to your place.
Prawns? Did we have prawns? I never eat prawns.
Must've been out of it.
You were.
We all were.
Food poisoning and a hangover.
Fucking delightful.
Think we got food poisoning? I know I do.
I've just been to the chemist.
- Yeah, makes sense.
- Dude, those chicks were hot.
And wild.
I need to hang out with you more often.
You're welcome anytime, mate.
[ phone beeps .]
I got another call coming through.
- I'll catch ya.
- I'll see you round.
[ sighs .]
Lauren speaking.
Hi.
It's John.
- John? - I haul trucks, send things overseas.
- John.
- Oh, hi, John.
Um, I just wanted to let you know that that crate went off to Canada today.
- And yeah.
- Great.
Yeah, it should be about six weeks, give or take a day.
Good.
I'll let my friend know.
Good.
That's good.
- John? - Yep? I was wondering, um, what are you doing tonight? Nothing.
I'm not doing anything, actually.
Nothing, really.
Nothing.
My friend's birthday.
I'd like you to come.
Parties aren't my speciality, really.
Of course.
[ laughs .]
[ sighs .]
Um, how's 8:00 sound? - Perfect.
- Great.
Alright.
I-I'll see you later.
Bye.
Bye, now.
- Is that you? - It is.
Mmm.
Eugh.
You do look off.
- I came here for some sympathy.
- Oh - Can I get an OJ, please? - Yes.
[ groans .]
Little bit cute.
Feel like a corpse.
Thank you.
Oh, Jesus! You're not gonna be sick on me, are you? Only if you're into that sort of thing.
[ sighs .]
You won't be working, then.
I barely have the ability to get it up, let alone Am I forgiven? - Hmm? - Am I forgiven? Maybe.
Who'd you go out with? - A friend invited me out to a party.
- Who? Nat, no.
- Did you have sex? - Come on.
Did you? The 'open relationship' thing is in place, OK? Please let's just not go there.
- When will you be back at work? - Jeez, I don't know.
- Look at me.
I'm in a world of pain.
- You did it to yourself.
It's irresponsible.
I haven't had a night off in ages.
So you thought you'd go out, get drunk, and have sex with a woman? That's really relaxing.
It works for some people, yes.
Amy is driving me crazy.
I found her sleeping in one of the beds.
So? And she's homeless apparently.
So what's the harm in her bunking here? It's not on, is it? It falls into the 'extenuating circumstances' category.
It's kind of like me.
You should try and be more generous.
Nat? Nat.
- Lighten up.
- [ sighs .]
No, look, you want to see me, you've gotta pay.
You know the deal.
That's not going to work, Gus.
Look, I don't care.
OK? Bye, arsehole.
[ sighs .]
Hi.
- Oooh.
Big night? - Mmm.
Hey, Nat.
Just so you know, I've booked into a hotel.
Don't you have a spare room? I have.
It's small.
Hmm.
Amy's small.
I'm so there, Sean, if you're keen.
Fine.
Yes.
I am happy to help.
Great.
Well, OK.
Let's go.
- Now? - Yeah, yeah.
I've got a couple of hours to kill so I can get rid of my stuff.
I'm working back late tonight.
Will you come by? Sure.
Great.
Mmm.
[ knock at door .]
- Wow.
- Wow yourself.
Just parked around the corner.
- Thank you.
- Cheers.
- Champagne? - Thank you.
Thank you.
- So, um how long's it been? - A couple of years.
- So bloody nervous.
- That makes two of us.
Just imagine they're all nude.
Isn't that what psychologists advise? I don't know.
I've never been to a psychologist.
I'm not sure that's advisable, given my line of work.
- Cheers.
- Maybe not.
Who's your bitch? - [ laughs .]
Hello.
- [ laughs .]
- Oh, my God! - Knocked up.
Again.
- Again?! - I've got a 2-year-old.
- But you're a sworn - Barren cow.
Well, you meet the right man, he does the right thing.
Abracadabra.
Then there were four.
Congratulations.
- And this is? - This is John.
Birthday girl.
- Happy birthday.
- Oh, here And here.
I married a wog, you know.
Claude.
- Really? - Mmm.
I'll go mingle.
You two catch up.
Are you sure? Yep.
Anything goes wrong, I'll send up a flag.
- For you.
- Did I scare him off? - Yeah, probably.
- How's the sex? Ah, nice to see you haven't changed.
Still got your brain up your vagina.
Hmm.
It's getting lots of stimulation.
Really? - So, tell me, what's his real name? - John.
- Just John or 'John' John? - John.
He's not part of the hired help.
So you're still exchanging sex for money? Yes, I am.
Hmm.
How does he feel about it? I'm not sure.
- Tell me he knows.
- Of course he knows.
It's just It's our first date and I don't want to hit him with the big questions.
Mmm.
Well, keep me posted.
On everything.
I live a little more vicariously these days.
- [ laughs .]
- Now come and meet Claude.
- When are you going to mention it? - Mention what? Our little hiccup.
That you disappeared without a trace? I was falling in love.
That's my defence.
Nothing against you.
You're a bitch.
Just for the record.
I was trying to keep my head above water, going from wife to sex worker.
Didn't exactly take my news graciously.
Because you stuck it to me.
All of a sudden you became the Virgin Mary.
I was floored that kept it a secret for so long.
If there was anyone you could tell, it was me.
I had to hide away for a while.
Well, I was hurt.
I'm sorry.
Let's just drink to changes.
Fine by me.
- Uh-oh.
- What? That's Ava.
And then Ava had every man in this neighbourhood.
Was she a friend of yours? Mmm, like I said, I like to live vicariously these days.
She is serious fun.
What should I do? How bad do you want him? Scale of 1 to 10.
First man I've liked in a very long time.
Well, go, before she puts her thighs around him.
She turns men to zombies.
[ chuckles .]
John.
Thought I'd lost you.
I don't think he'd be lost for too long.
- Ava, this is Lauren.
- Hi.
Hi.
John and I was just talking about horse breeding.
Horse breeding? Mm-hm.
Thoroughbreds.
I want Lauren to name my new foal.
I mentioned that, didn't I? I'm working on a short list.
Ah.
Nice.
I actually quite like riding.
You look like you do.
It's great for the figure.
Particularly inner thigh.
So you like riding, Lauren, do you? - Oh, try and stop me.
- Oh, good for you.
OK, well, have a nice party.
John, it's very nice to meet you.
- You too.
- Both.
She's a woman and a half.
That she is.
Did I interrupt something? I'm not that interested.
Not really.
Very nice, though.
I'm here with you, Lauren.
Well, I wouldn't want to hold you back.
You're not holding me back.
Am I holding you back? No.
I do like horses, by the way.
Well, better start thinking about that short list.
- Bring your friend along next time.
- Mm-hm.
Thanks, Amy.
- I'm up for that.
See you.
- I'll see you.
- Home time, Amy? - Hmm? Oh.
Yeah.
I've got things to do.
I'm sure you do too.
Heaps.
Your friend had a drink and left, if that's important to you.
Thanks.
You setting in at Sean's? I don't intend on staying there long.
- He's very accommodating.
- Yeah.
He's nice, Nat.
You're lucky.
Goodnight, Amy.
[ scoffs .]
Goodnight.
OK.
[ 'everyone is sleeping' by little birdy plays .]
[ gasps .]
[ dance music .]
[ footsteps approach .]
- Hey.
- Hi.
- Are you going out? - Yeah, I'm catching up with Nat.
Oh.
[ giggles .]
You guys sure do have an unusual arrangement.
It's very Warhol.
In what way? Well, she actually suggested that I move in with you.
Yeah, that's just Nat.
Hmm.
- Gotta love her.
- Mmm.
- Perfect.
- Enjoy the quiet.
- [ staplet clicks .]
- [ gasps .]
Oh! [ click! .]
[ gasps .]
[ click! .]
[ whispers .]
Mistress Natalie? I love you.
I love you too, Bernie.
[ door opens .]
Nat? [ Bernie gasps .]
- [ click! .]
- [ gasps .]
- [ click! .]
- Ohh! Nat! [ pants .]
What are you doing? Oh, Jesus.
Sean.
What the fuck, Nat? What the fuck is that?! That's what you're into, huh? That's it, in there? You knew I was coming here.
You couldn't just tell me, could you? You had to plan some fucking trap! Say something, Nat! I need to hear you say something.
[ sighs .]
I-I can't.
How long have you been doing that? The staples, er that was a first.
Your first S&M - when was that? [ sighs .]
I don't know.
I don't know.
Does it matter? Before I came along or not? [ whispers .]
Yes.
- You can't be angry.
- Oh, angry? Angry? Yeah, I'm really fucking angry, alright? I can't help it! It's not because you do whatever you do.
I would have got that eventually.
But we're in a relationship where you share, not have some split-personality thing going on! Nat? I'm sorry.
There is weird shit all around us, OK? I get that.
We're never gonna head the board for normal people.
- It's never gonna happen.
- [ sighs .]
But we could have done stuff together.
I'm sorry.
Fuck.
Whatever it is you do I'm prepared to give it a burl.
[ sighs .]
No.
You can't.
You woudn't want me to, would you? This is your thing.
Isn't it? It's your secret.
It's not something that you become.
[ sighs .]
You either are or you aren't.
And I I definitely am.
And you You're not.
Yeah.
Scary.
Yeah.
Do you want to come in? Oh, thanks, Lauren, but I'm going to go home.
Oh.
OK.
I know you want to have sex with me, Lauren.
And that's a bad thing? Oh, no, no, no.
It'd be great, I'm sure.
Is your not wanting to have sex with me because Is it because I'm a hooker? No.
No, no, not at all.
-Are you sure? - I've been to 232.
Um, I don't have anything against what happens there.
Er I think I just Well, I feel I have to have a lot of sex right now.
I think, with, you know, people I don't care about or or possibly have a future with or Oh.
I need to get 20 years of married sex out of my system.
I've been polite and thoughtful and well-mannered and sometimes begging for it and I I just feel I have to do things on my terms now.
So you want to screw around? Well well, yeah.
[ laughs .]
You don't have to feel bad about it.
If I knew more about women, you might have helped me back then.
We're a lifelong project.
[ laughs .]
Well, good luck.
Lauren.
Why are you here? With me? What do you want? I'm a 40-something-year-old woman, John.
Um I'm somebody's ex-wife.
Somebody's so-so mother.
I'm trying to be a businesswoman and maybe I'm trying not to be a sex worker.
I don't know.
What I do know is I need to feel my heart again.
[ mobile phone rings .]
Sean.
I just wanted to say hi.
So hi.
Hi.
I'm going to lay low for a little while.
OK.
Goodnight.
Sean? Yep.
I tried to join the board for normal people.
Yeah, I know.
'Night.
[ sighs .]
- Who was that? - A courier.
Mmm.
Whose horse? John's.
He wants me to name her.
[ gasps .]
It's a test.
[ laughs .]
He wants me to name his horse, not his first-born.
Well, he talks about his horses as though they're his kids.
So absolutely no pressure.
You're petrified about this, aren't you? No, no.
I'll come up with something.
I mean you can John getting together.
Mmm.
Mildly petrified.
He's worth it.
You know him so well, do you? God, I'm so sorry.
It's OK.
I'm a shocking judge of men, anyway.
One bad apple, Tess.
Well, it's a bad apple.
Hmm.
Bit of a chook raffle, really, isn't it? Mm-hm.
So you may as well dive in.
[ sighs .]
Alright.
Help me out here.
[ exhales .]
Truckie's Ride.
- Are you referring to me? [ laughs .]
- I didn't mean that! [ gasps .]
Oh, my God, it's an omen.
Oh, for God's sake.
[ laughs .]
[ Raunchy dance music plays .]
WOMAN: Alice, come back! Come back, Alice! - Hey, hey.
You're alive.
- [ laughs .]
Oh, just.
Is that yours? Oh! Yeah.
You didn't need to return it, though.
It's KY, not gold bullion.
[ laughs .]
Thought it might hold some special memory for you.
Not likely to forget that night in a hurry.
I seemed to have turned into a goldfish.
I think I blacked out.
- Did you see me? - No.
I was pretty out of it, Sean.
You were asleep when I left.
- You don't remember anything? - Oh, bits and pieces.
I mean, I know we all got together but the details are very hazy.
Wow.
- You want to fill me in? - [ laughs .]
Well, there was you and Alice and me and Steve - Together? - Sometimes.
Not much.
- Er, bloke on bloke? - [ laughs .]
Not that I saw.
Although he was a bit of a sneak.
I'd know if anything went on.
- You'd think so.
- Yeah.
I mean, not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just you'd like to have a say.
Of course.
Well, I know he followed me into the other room when I went missing in action.
Ah.
It's good.
Alice liked you, in case you're interested.
- Right.
- You're not? Oh, got my hands full at the moment.
Oh, she's stressed out of her head right now anyway.
Some big case she's got going on.
- Yeah.
Tell her I said hi.
- Sure.
Bye.
[ sighs .]
- Hey, sweet thing.
- Trouble.
Hello.
- Have you got some time? - If you're paying, sure.
Half-hour window? Well, this is a favour so it's going to cost you an hour.
How about we wait and see how it pans out? Hmm.
[ sighs .]
[ whispers .]
Oh, baby.
- You need to take a shower.
- What? Keep going.
It's a rule.
Now you want to play by the rules? You're smelly.
Go.
Christ.
[ sighs .]
[ sighs .]
You know, you could just leave.
[ scoffs .]
Yeah, right.
Where are you? Amy? Fuck you! [ giggles .]
If you want to.
You! - [ timer beeps .]
- Oh.
Time's up.
You're kidding.
Just keep going.
Time's up.
[ sighs .]
- Here you are.
- But you said half an hour.
Take it.
[ both pant, gasp .]
- Hello.
- Hello.
- You got my photo? - Yes.
She's very special.
I'm glad you like her.
How's the naming going? I was thinking Heart Starter.
- I like it.
- Yeah.
You know, racing.
Fast.
Me.
[ laughs .]
Yeah.
I'll just check it's not registered somewhere else and if it isn't, Heart Starter's the go.
Great.
- Are you well? - I am, thanks.
John, er I ripped Heart Starter.
The photo, I mean.
Oh, well.
It's OK.
I've got a file full of them.
It was an accident.
I I'm sure it was.
[ laughs .]
I just wanted you to know.
- Tess - Er I'm not here for Tess.
Is everything alright? Everything's great.
I'll see you soon.
Bye.
- You baked bread.
- Yep.
And you cleaned the place.
Maid in the living room, cook in the kitchen, whore in the bedroom.
Well, whore anywhere, really.
That's me.
But you knew that already, didn't you, Master Sean? [ laughs .]
Maybe we need to have a few house rules, Amy.
- Yeah, good.
Love rules.
- Mm-hm, OK.
Throw 100 bucks in the kitty each week for food.
Yep.
- We split all the bills.
- Yeah, yeah.
Look.
I don't reckon we need to get all military about this.
Let's just tackle things as they come up.
Fine.
Except you and me - it's not gonna happen.
- 'Cause you're out of bounds.
- Exactly.
- 'Cause of Nat.
- No.
Because of me.
Fine.
You know what you're missing out on.
Yep.
But I can live with that.
[ laughs .]
[ funky dance music plays .]
JEMIMA: Babe, what are you doing? Oh, no, hon, don't.
No, it's alright! At least you have good taste in music.
Tell me what the fuck happened! Sean, don't! Something happened, Jemima.
I know I did! - Yeah, we all had sex! - No! It's was more than that! Sean, I didn't see anything.
What? I know you're lying.
I know you're lying! It had nothing to do with me.
What? What?! Alice [ echoes .]
No, Alice, seriously, he's out of it.
He's fine.
- You fell asleep.
- And? And I left you alone with her.
What happened? What did she do to me? I think she raped you.
No way.
That's what it looked like to me.
- No, you can't! Alice, don't! - Go away! - No, it's fine! Fuck off! - He's out of it! No, just fuck off! I'm sorry, Sean.
I should have Captioned by Grantman Brown
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