Scarborough (2019) s01e03 Episode Script

1 Does this feel weird for you? Us, a second time around? Why, does it feel weird to you? Well, if I'm honest, it feels like our last chance.
Geraldine, you have got to tell the police about that money.
I'm trying to avoid getting Mrs.
Bookham into trouble.
Geraldine Pane? Mate, I did this for you.
For me? How's that? After Tony Peroni threatened to smash my face in cos he thought I was you.
What you did brought shame on me, and you are in my debt.
RADIO: York.
Weather-wise, what's happening this morning? BANGING ON DOOR Areas of patchy light rain and drizzle.
A maximum temperature of 17 Celsius.
URGENT KNOCKING ON DOOR State your business.
This is a Neighbourhood Watch area.
You are being filmed as we speak.
Mother, it's me.
Open the door.
LOCK CLICKS Oh, it's you.
Yes, I've been waiting ages.
Well, if you'd come in the back way as usual, I'd have let you in.
Well, I was knocking on the back door for five minutes.
Yes, well, I've been making a corn beef hash for Mr Ferris.
He's been a virtual recluse since his break in.
Mr Ferris? I just seen him in Jackson's.
No, that wouldn't have been Mr Ferris.
He's locked himself away like Hughie Green.
He were in Jackson's buying a loaf.
No, no, no, not Hughie Green.
Who was that millionaire who was a recluse? He said you'd invited him round for dinner.
Blimey! I hope he's hungry.
Right, do you need anything else before I go to work? You didn't get any Worcestershire sauce, did you? Well, no, you didn't ask me to.
Well, I thought you might've used your initiative.
Is it just you and Mr Ferris having this corn beef hash? You're going to be here all day.
Butter! I've got no butter! I've got to go to work.
Ask Mr Ferris, he might've bought some to go with his loaf.
Oh, by the way, Mike said he might pop round to see how you are before you go barricading the door.
I'll call you later.
Oh.
Hey, what do you think you're d? Oh it's you.
Why would some person pay money to win something this ugly? You know what? I've no idea.
Where were you, Mike? What do you mean? I sent you a message, "You come and see me this morning.
" Yeah, I get it, I owe you a favour, but that doesn't make me a member of your staff, and how did you get my number? I have a little business to attend this evening, and I need Hayley out of the way.
Well, how am I supposed to help with that? I want you to take her out.
You want me to kill your girlfriend? No, you idiot.
Take her out for a drink.
I think I prefer the first option.
Why would I do that? I just need to know where she is while I take care of some business.
Nah, sorry, mate.
Not happening.
Are you refusing me? I'm saying no to that.
Big mistake, Mike.
Big mistake.
Why would anybody pay a pound to try and win one of those? I've no idea.
I've seen people put 10, 20, 30 quid in one of those grabber machines to win one of them.
Have you? Yeah, I have.
Do you know what I used to say? No.
I used to say, "Fill a grabber machine full of dog turds" "and people will still try and win one.
Did you?" Yeah, I did, and do you know what they've got now at Fun City in the grabber machines? Poo emojis.
They've actually got stuffed, furry What did you say? I said, "Poo emojis.
" Yeah.
Yeah, so I was right, weren't I? What happened to Oscar Wilde? He died of meningitis in a Paris bedsit.
I mean the book.
I read it.
What you on to now? Oh, ho, ho! SLAVIC ACCENT: Dracula.
Absolute classic.
Now we're talking! You've read it? No, I've not read it, have I? But I've seen all the films.
All right, here's a question for you.
Best Dracula ever? Bela Lugosi.
Wrong.
Count Duckula - it's like Dracula, but it's for kids.
It's hilarious.
Even you'd like it.
Michael Bradley? Yeah, how can I help you? Can we have a word, sir? Yeah, of course.
Just through here.
MUSIC: Love Really Hurts Without You by Billy Ocean.
There you go, Mrs Frankish.
Good as new.
Oh, thank you, love.
Now, if you go over to Mandy, she'll find you a coat that fits you, and she'll take all your money.
Right, shall we make a start, Mrs Winters? Find her a coat that fits her? Mrs Frankish will want to go home in her own coat.
It was a joke, Mrs Winters.
Come on, let's get you sat down.
I went to a party like that once.
What party? Where you all throw your house keys into a fruit bowl to see who you go home with.
Really? I didn't have you down as a swinger, Mrs Winters.
I ended up in a two-berth caravan in Cayton Bay with a funeral director called Eli.
Best night's sleep I ever had.
Gerry not in today? No, not yet.
She's late.
I know, but not to worry, there's two of us now on minimum wage that'll hold the fort.
Well, is she not coming in today? Cos I don't usually have me hair done by a junior.
None taken.
Where's Karen? Mandy, give Karen a call and see where she is, will ya? I haven't got her number.
I'd have thought they'd have all been going to Mrs Bookham's funeral, what with her dying on your toilet.
Mm, is that today? PHONE RINGS Oh, for goodness' sake.
Oh, leave that.
It's only me trying to find out where you are.
I'm five minutes late.
Well, 10.
Are you not going to Mrs Bookham's funeral, Karen? No, I'm not, Mrs Winters.
Some of us have got work to do.
I'd have thought someone would be representing the salon.
You know, out of respect.
You not going? Me? I couldn't stand the woman.
I once picked up a quarter of tongue from Jackson's counter thinking it were mine, and I've never heard such language.
She accused me of theft.
Theft! And she hadn't even paid for it yet, and we all earn money as well.
Was Mrs Bookham rich? Mandy, can you tidy the magazines, please? Rich? She was like Midas in a hairnet.
Although, I should like to know who scored for all of her thousands cos she had no family, and she certainly had no friends.
Right, that's Mrs Bookham's flowers all paid for.
Everything all right? So you definitely don't know the whereabouts of your flatmate, Mr Dixon? Well, like I said, I don't know.
I'm sorry.
Or Bigsy as you called him.
Everybody calls him Bigsy.
Well, if you could let Mr Dixon know that we need to speak to him.
What is this regarding? I'm afraid we can't discuss that with you Burglary.
Burglary?! He can't even get into our flat.
Did he come home last night? No.
Eh well, I don't know.
You don't know? Well, he comes and goes.
You know, sometimes I don't see him for days.
Interesting.
Very interesting.
You know, the only other Bigsy I've heard of is Ronnie Biggs, the great train robber.
Yeah, well, that's who he's named after, but it's, you know Ah, now we're getting somewhere.
He was on the run for a while as well, wasn't he? No, it's ironic.
You know, Bigsy tells everybody he's got this massive criminal record, but he's a nobody.
He's never even had a parking ticket.
A double bluff, eh? Yeah.
You build up the reputation of a scallywag who keeps calling wolf, then boom! You start turning over pensioners on the Westgate Road.
Thank you, PC Merrick.
Listen to me.
You're looking for the wrong fella.
Not only would Bigsy never steal from anyone, but my girlfriend's mum lives next door to that house that got burgled on Westgate Road And suddenly all the pieces start to fall into place.
THUMP No, that's not what I meant.
Thank you, Mr Bradley.
You've been very helpful.
No, no, no.
You're not listening to me! If Mr Dixon contacts you, please ask him to come into the police station.
We need to talk to him as soon as possible.
The quicker we can eliminate him from our enquiries, the better for him.
Yes? Yeah, I understand.
Just one more thing Come on! INDISTINCT RADIO CONVERSATION Hm.
Now.
About this money you moved from under the sink.
Oh, yeah, Mrs Bookham's money.
That's right, Mrs Bookham's money.
Well, things are getting a little bit complicated.
The police asking where the money is? No, the police don't know there was any money in the handbag.
Oh, well, there you go.
You got away with it, then.
I beg your pardon? I haven't got away with anything! I took that money from Mrs Bookham's handbag so so it wouldn't go missing.
Hang on.
I thought you said Mrs Bookham gave you that money to look after.
Well, it hardly makes any difference now, does it? Well, can't you just say, "Oh, by the way," "there was money in this handbag, and give it back?" We can't say that because we've already said we didn't look in the bag.
Well, if you need to get rid of the money, I'll have it.
Lisa Marie, I'm being serious.
So am I! The point is, it was a very stressful day, and there was a terrible mix-up with this money and Mix-up? I'm sorry, Lisa Marie.
I fail to see what's so funny! Funny? It's hilarious.
If it'd been me that'd robbed money out of a dead pensioner's handbag Shh! .
.
I can imagine how much sympathy I'd be getting from you.
You are walking on very thin ice, young lady.
No, I'm not.
It's you that's walking on thin ice, and, instead of asking me for help, you're trying to bully me into keeping my trap shut.
Do you want to keep this job? Oh, that's a very good question that I ask myself every morning, and do you know what? I think I've just realised the answer - no! No, I don't want to be paid £8 an hour for perming dead women's hair and making cups of tea and doing both of your jobs until you decide to show up! Lisa Marie, where do you think you're going?! Come on, we're off.
What do you mean? Lisa Marie, what's going on? I'm leaving.
Well, I'm not.
I've only just started.
Are you serious? Uh, yeah.
Brilliant.
Lisa Marie, don't go! Lisa Marie! Let her go.
Good riddance to bad rubbish.
What's going on? I don't know! Where are you going?! DOOR SLAMS SHE SIGHS Is somebody going to do my hair? Or I'll never get to Mrs Bookham's funeral! Lisa Marie, where are you going? I've had enough.
What do you mean you've had enough? Will you slow down, please? It's her, isn't it? Geraldine.
Why? What's she said? Can you slow down, please? I've got a stitch.
I'm just sick of being taken for a mug.
Look, tell me about it.
What have you got to moan about? Your life's sorted.
What? I beg your pardon.
You've got your own place, you're earning proper money, you've got a lovely fella.
Have I? Well, what's wrong with him? Nothing.
Hey, I thought you'd made up to be back together? He's lying to me.
About what? Well, I did try to tell you the other day, but I think you had other stuff on your mind.
Kaz, I'm so sorry.
You know you can tell me anything.
Basically, I saw him kissing another woman.
Oh, my God.
He denied it at first, and then I told him that I saw them together.
He said that she attacked him, it lasted a few seconds, and then he pushed her away.
And did it? No.
No.
It lasted longer.
Quite a bit longer.
I mean, I knew Mike had a wandering eye, but I thought he'd grown up a bit.
Is that why you split up the last time? No not exactly.
Anyway, listen to me banging on.
I've come to see how you are.
PHONE VIBRATES Oh, I'm fine.
I just need a little break from the salon.
And I think I've just found it.
Right, I'll see you later.
Well, what shall I say to Geraldine? About what? Lisa Marie! Can you tell her that Lisa Marie says, "She can stick her job right up her arse"? Cheers, Kaz.
Who is it? It's Mike.
Who? Mike.
Who? Karen's boyfriend.
Oh, Mike! Yeah.
Oh, it's you.
You should've said.
I did.
Come in, son.
Oh, honestly, I'm not hungry at all, thank you.
I just came over to see how you are.
Well, that's very kind of you, but it was Mr Ferris who got broken into.
Look, it's really kind, but I've just had a cup of tea and a Kit Kat.
Do you know? They absolutely ruined his front room.
There we go.
Oh! There.
Whoa, whoa! Steady on.
I'll never get through all that.
I've got to be back in work in 10 minutes.
Now.
Do you want brown sauce? Aye, go on, then.
MUSIC: Donde Estas, Yolanda? By Pink Martini.
Well! Of all the parks in all of Scarborough, you happened to walk into mine.
You told me you were here.
Yeah, I know.
It was a joke.
Oh, right.
Well, you could've told me you were up here, cos I've walked around the park four times.
Scampi fry? Yeah.
Don't mind if I do.
Mm, nice these.
Yeah, they were.
HE CLEARS HIS THROA So Well, nice to see you.
Thought you might be working.
Oh, I was just on my way home when you text, so I thought I might as well swing by.
Oh.
You're on your way home? Yeah.
Good night the other night.
Yeah, I enjoyed it.
I love a bit of karaoke, me.
HE LAUGHS AWKWARDLY Eh, do you want to take a pew? Take a what? Sit down.
Yeah.
So, eh, you work with Mike's better half, then? Karen? She's lovely.
Yeah.
I think we might've met before.
Yeah, probably.
I think I've definitely seen you around.
Oh.
Had your eye on me, have you? No, I just mean I've seen you around Scarborough.
Well, it's a small town, innit? You can say that again.
Although I mainly move around in my job.
Oh, right.
What do you do? I work for the government.
Oh, right, doing what? I can't tell you that.
Why not? Eh, it's kind of undercover.
It's police? No, no, no, no, no, no.
Quite the opposite.
Well, no, not the opposite.
Um I work for a British government enterprise that kind of operates above the police.
I don't understand that.
Right, have you ever heard the phrase, "It takes a thief to catch a thief"? Are you a thief? No, no, no, silly.
No.
I Um, you know when the big companies don't want their computer systems hacked, who do they employ? Computer hacker.
Exacta-mundo.
Except I don't sit behind a desk all day.
Oh.
Yeah.
Just come back from a big operation in the Ukraine.
Pretty intense shit.
What were you doing? I can't tell you that.
Oh, OK.
But, um, on our way home, we managed to swing by an orphanage in Romania.
Yeah.
We'd received intel that their electricity and water supply had been cut off by a local rebels.
What did you do? We took care of it.
I mean, you think a 60-watt light bulb shines bright, but, man, it's nothing compared to 100 smiling orphans' faces.
Oh, my God.
Mm, yeah, just a day's work, innit? I've just thought our garage light's broken.
You could probably fix that, couldn't ya? Well, no, this is like European electronics, electrics.
Oh, right, and we're going out of Europe.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Still, amazing job, though.
Yeah, yeah, I guess so.
I mean, I could tell you more about it if you're interested.
Is it is it too early for a nice cold pint? I'm on my way home.
Yeah, OK.
I could meet you later, though? Do you want to go to The Ship? What? Yeah, no, OK, yeah.
Nice one, yeah.
What time? Eh, I'll text you.
I'm lying alone With my head on the phone Thinking of you till it hurts.
Well, I've got to say, that was pretty phenomenal.
Mm, well, Mr Ferris's loss was your gain.
Yeah, about four pound in weight and two inches around me waist.
So are you going to marry her, then, or what? I beg your pardon? Karen.
You don't think I ask you in just to eat me out of house and home, do you? Well, you know, we've only just got back together, haven't we? Yes, I know, and you buggered it up last time by letting that skinny streak of piddle marry her.
What was his name? Darren? It's always difficult the second time around, you know? We're just taking it easy.
How long were you together the first time? Five years.
Yeah, well, there you go.
You want to be taking her up the aisle, never mind the bloody cinema.
We've just been going through a tricky patch, you know.
It's going to take time.
You need to live together.
What's the point of courting? You did that for years.
Look, if you've both decided to make another go of it, then pick up where you left off.
I think you're right.
Yes, of course I'm right.
I'm her mother.
Get her moved in with you, ask her to marry you.
Maybe not on the same day, but I'll leave the finer details to you.
All right.
I best be going to work.
"We have all the time in the world.
" Do you know that song? Yeah, Louis Armstrong.
Mm, Karen's father always used to sing it to me when I got impatient, when I wanted things done right away.
"What's the hurry? He used to say.
" "We have all the time in the world.
" I wish we did.
I miss him every day.
I understand what you're saying.
Right, I'd best be off.
Don't get up.
I just want the best for my daughter.
I know you do.
So do I.
Thank you, Mrs Gilroy.
And don't worry about the colour.
That'll calm down after a couple of washes, and in the meantime, it's nice and bright for the summer, isn't it? Well, I suppose so.
Yes, well, Mandy will see you out.
Well, what a day.
How are you feeling? Well, my nerves are shot to pieces.
I'm not sure I can take much more.
Am I all right to go? Yeah, of course.
Do you want a drink? Well, there is a bottle of Remy Martin knocking about somewhere if you want to put the closed sign on.
I just meant a cup of tea.
Oh, I see.
No, I'm fine.
I was thinking of you! As you know, I don't really drink.
Right, well, I'd best be off.
Me and Mike are going to that new Italian tonight.
You know, opposite The Ship? More than welcome to come with us.
Oh, don't be silly.
Off you go.
I'll be off then.
Do you want me to talk to our Lisa Marie? Eh, no, I haven't decided what to do about Lisa Marie yet.
Thank you, Mandy.
Well, I know she's me sister, but I think she's mental for leaving this place.
Well, thanks.
And I know it's, like, mainly rank old women getting hair dos from, like, World War I or whatever, but it's better than working in a bar getting your bum pinched all night, ain't it? Thank you for that vote of confidence, Amanda.
All right.
See you in the morning.
Right, Gerry.
I'm off.
I'll drop the latch.
See you tomorrow.
Working in a bar getting your bum pinched all night.
Chance'd be a fine thing.
All by myself Don't want to be all by myself Any more All by myself.
Oh, Jack, am I all right sitting here? Yeah, of course you are, yeah.
I told this lot I had to open the bar at seven, so they do know.
I just feel like I'm intruding.
No, no, you're fine.
Do you want a sandwich? They're mainly egg mayonnaise, so they won't keep.
No, I'm all right.
We're off out for tea in a bit.
Still up for the charity night? Yeah, of course.
I said I'd do it, no problem.
Hey, it's going to be a big night.
We've got, eh, Danny Wild, meat raffle, drag queen from Brid, and, eh, Tony's just donated 100 tubs of ice cream.
Who has? Tony from Peroni's ice cream.
Do you not know him? No, not really.
Jack! Uh, yes, yes, I'm coming.
Oh, was just texting you.
Yeah, well, I'm here now.
Oh, is that Mrs Bookham's funeral? Well, what's left of it, yeah.
Right, shall we make a move? Well, the restaurant's not booked till eight.
Yeah, but if we go now, they might have a table ready.
I'm not going yet.
I've only just got here.
You have seen who's at the bar? Yes, of course I have.
Just walked straight past 'em.
Right, so let's make tracks.
No, because then they'll think we're going because they're here.
That's exactly the reason I want to go.
Yes, well, I don't.
Thank you, by the way, for going to see me mum.
She were thrilled.
Oh, was she? Well, she said you ate her out of house and home, but she seemed quite happy about it.
Oh, yeah, if you mean a plate of corn beef hash that I never asked for.
Kaz? Yeah.
What do you think about us two moving in together? Moving in? Yeah.
It's a little bit sudden.
A bit sudden? We were together for five years.
Yeah, that were nearly five years ago.
Well, do you not want to live together? Well, I just think we should take things steady.
I just don't think it'd hurt to have a look round and just see what's out there.
I suppose.
I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Do you? Yeah.
I want to make you happy.
Well you can start by getting me half a lager.
HE LAUGHS Mike, what can I get you? Just a pint and a half of Ellison's, please, Jess.
I'm going to have to go change the barrel.
It doesn't have to be Ellison's.
I'll drink anything, me! I'll have a bottle.
I don't mind a bottle! Listen.
I just want you to know everything's cool.
Yeah.
All right, no problem.
Tony knows nothing happened between us.
Don't you, Tony? Anyway, he does.
I'll powder my nose.
Look, life's too short to bear a grudge.
We should all go out for a drink sometime.
You know, the four of us.
Tony's just got shares in the new wine bar on York Place.
I don't drink wine.
They do other drinks as well.
I tell you what, just let me check me diary.
Aw.
I'm busy for the next 12 months.
Don't make an enemy of me, Karen.
Well, they do say keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
But until you do something about that bloated, saggy face of yours and that pound shop perfume, I think I'll keep you as far away as possible.
Big mistake.
Are you still here? I don't want any trouble.
Nobody refuses the Peronis.
Look, I'm sorry I couldn't help you out.
What do you think my girlfriend would say if I took Hayley out for a drink? And I tell you, I'd rather answer to you than to Karen.
Really? Yeah, really.
I don't think you understand who you are dealing with.
Next time my boys pay a visit, it won't be just the furniture that gets broken.
What you talking about? Your mother's house on Westgate Road.
Everything all right, lads? Yeah.
Yeah, everything's cool.
Of course.
That £5.
70, please, Mike.
I think I might start the karaoke.
Might get rid of the last of the Addams Family.
How about a song, Mike? No, not tonight, Jack.
You know my grandfather used to sing with Caruso? Did he? Mm-hm.
My dad used to sing with his finger in his ear.
Funny old world, ain't it? I'll just put some music on.
MUSIC: Five Get Over Excited by The Housemartins I've changed me mind.
I'm hungry now.
I've just paid for these.
Is that Lisa Marie? Yeah, she's probably waiting for Bigsy.
He's on some sort of promise with her.
Lisa Marie and Bigsy? Yeah.
She kept that quiet.
Come on, then.
If we're going to go, let's go.
All right, Bigsy, do you want a pint? I'm good, thanks.
Where's he gone? What's he doing? Whoa! Whoa.
What's going on, Bigsy? Police! Stand still! Whoa, whoa! Hey, lads, come on.
There's no need for this! Stay where you are! You don't have to say anything.
What are you arresting him for? He's done nothing! If he's done nowt, why did he run? You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned.
For God's sake.
Bigsy! I'm fine! Free the Scarborough one! MUSIC BEGINS TO PLAY You're wondering now What to do now you know this is the end You're wondering how You will pay for the way you did behave Curtain has fallen Now you're on your own I won't return.