Scarecrow and Mrs. King (1983) s01e10 Episode Script
The Long Christmas Eve
[BELL RINGING.]
SANTA CLAUS: Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Ho-ho-ho.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Ho-ho-ho.
Those are my conditions.
Merry Christmas.
A new job.
Another identity.
Complete relocation, a whole new life.
Don't tell me I'm asking too much, I'm not asking too much.
I don't care about the agency red tape, I need to come in right now.
I'm warning you, before I go down, a lot of your people are going down with me.
Ted Rudolph.
- Did you get a trace on the call? - Phone booth.
What's left of it is in pieces in front of Martindale's Department Store.
The Washington Police Bomb Squad said it was a very sophisticated device.
- KGB? - It wasn't the Salvation Army.
[LEE SCOFFS.]
He wants us to bring him in.
If we don't, he says we're going to be sorry.
- Can he hurt us? - Are you familiar with his file? Not in any depth.
Uh, a company man, old-school tie, OSS, codename Janus.
I will just give you the broad strokes here.
Ted Rudolph, a.
k.
a.
Kenneth Ciardi, a.
k.
a.
Henry Sturbidge.
Born 1925, recruited 1946.
OSS, post-war Berlin Paris-Marseilles, 1953 to 1957, Prague, '61 Moscow, '64 as a news correspondent.
Brought back in '68.
Since then, he's been in deep cover working both sides of the street.
As you can see, a very valuable man.
He brought in Belinsky in '72 and Kasimov is '77.
He's plugged in as high as Andropov.
If he wants to come in, then he must be in trouble.
Oh, his control hasn't heard from in three weeks.
He's been acting strangely the past three months.
- He thinks it might be burnout syndrome.
- Heh, I'm not surprised.
The guy's been walking a tightrope for 15 years.
BILLY: We're trying to locate his family.
His wife died in '75, natural causes.
There's a daughter, early 30s.
But she's moved away, so we don't have any lead on her.
- What do we do? - We wait.
There's nothing we can do until he contacts us again.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
Come.
This came in for you, Mr.
Melrose.
- From where? - Sixth floor.
Could you sign here, please? FRANCINE: Hmm.
Aren't you, uh, gonna open it, Billy? It looks like a Christmas present.
Sixth floor, let's see.
That's Scenarios and Ciphers.
- What's a euphemism for dirty tricks? - Covert operations.
Yeah.
Open it up.
Those dirty-tricks guys have a hell of a sense of humor.
- It's probably just some files.
- It's not marked "Eyes Only.
" [LEE AND FRANCINE LAUGHING.]
FRANCINE: Oh! - Those guys are a riot.
Why don't we send them some phony ciphers or something? - What's it for? - Oh, the office Christmas party.
I lost a bet on a Redskins game.
Billy, I can't think of a better Santa Claus.
There is no way you're gonna get me to put this on.
Oh, come on, Billy, where's your Christmas spirit? It's a dirty job, but somebody's gotta do it.
Ho-ho-ho.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
DOTTY: I think the tree looks smaller this year.
- Don't you? - Oh, I don't know.
They seem like they get smaller and smaller and more and more expensive every year.
You should have seen the, uh, really big ones outside of Greery's they had.
When you were little, you'd go with your daddy to pick the tree.
Oh, yeah.
He would tell me that the man who sold them was a friend of Santa Claus they came directly from the North Pole.
Ha, ha.
Oh, I hope Philip and Jamie have those kind of Christmas memories.
Yeah, I hope so too.
I don't know though.
You know, when Philip was 6 and I was explaining to him about Santa Claus and how he came down the chimney, you know what he said? He said, "Don't con me, Mom.
" Ha, ha.
Amanda, I always think that Christmas is a time to start thinking a little more positively.
[CHUCKLES.]
- I have a feeling I know what's coming.
- Well, children do need stability, darling.
I know, Mother, and Dean is very stable and I'm very fond of him.
He's got a good job and I know he adores the boys but I'm just not ready yet.
Amanda, I'm not trying to rush you.
- I just think that it's Christmas time - I know.
- He's coming to Christmas dinner.
- Good.
You know what he got Philip? He got Philip an entire, uh, Redskins football suit with the, uh, shoulder pads and everything and he got Jamie a junior weather-bureau kit with a real barometer.
Ha, ha.
- He is so considerate.
- He is to a fault.
Uh-oh, I've gotta go.
I'm going to deliver a few presents to some of my, uh, people that I walk and water for.
Well, that's good public relations.
- Amanda? - Hmm.
What are they like, these people that you work for? Just normal, everyday people.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
Thank you.
Ah.
Well, you don't seem to be getting in the spirit of things.
Huh? - Ah, I'm just not very big on parties.
- Oh, come on, it's Christmas.
[MOUTHING WORDS.]
Oh, speaking of jolly, there she is.
Our woman in suburbia, bearing gifts.
- Now, don't be nasty, Francine, huh? - Ha, ha, I wouldn't dream of it.
Hello, merry Christmas.
I just came to deliver some presents.
- Oh, you really shouldn't have.
- Oh, well, you know, it's Christmas and all.
- Go ahead, open them up.
- Oh, all right.
There we go.
Now, see, I got you something that you would never get for yourself.
Look at that, see? Socks.
They're the same, you won't have to worry about matching when they come out of the dryer.
- Just what I've always wanted.
Oh, perfume, how very sweet of you, Amanda.
It's called "Intrigue.
" Very good for the spy.
Now, I got Mr.
Melrose a cardigan sweater.
It's beige.
Well, you know, his taste in clothes is a little conservative.
- Extremely conservative.
- Yes.
[ALL CHEERING AND APPLAUDING.]
Ho-ho-ho.
- Don't push it, Stetson.
- Ha, ha.
- Nice to see you, Mrs.
King.
- Merry Christmas, Mr.
Melrose.
- Here.
I hope it fits.
- That's very kind of you.
Oh, excuse me, Mr.
Melrose, but there's a call for you on 61.
BILLY: Thank you.
- Must be the North Pole.
[LAUGHING.]
AMANDA: He is cute.
Amanda, tell us, what's new in sinful suburbia? The 25th is in less than two days, we can't possibly Be reasonable, man.
Even if we could find her, she may not be willing RUDOLPH: We have ways of convincing people, don't we, Melrose? - Where? - The cabin in the woods 40 miles out on route 84.
You'll find the map at the usual drop.
- Be there.
- Wait, Janus [LINE DISCONNECTS.]
Janus? Ah, yeah.
Lee.
Francine.
In here.
- Uh, excuse us, Amanda.
AMANDA: Sure.
How many agents does it take to change a bulb? - I don't know.
- Fifteen.
One to unscrew the bulb and 14 to debrief the building.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
That's good.
That's Rudolph? He's holed up in a cabin in the woods in Virginia.
- His deadline's the 25th.
- Or else? He goes public with the names of every American and Soviet undercover agent working in this country.
Ted Rudolph's in a position to jeopardize our most sensitive intelligence programs.
As well as endanger the lives of a number of people.
We can relocate him, can't we? We do it all the time.
Lee, that's not all he wants.
He wants us to find his daughter and bring her to him.
- His daughter? Why? - I don't know.
He wasn't making much sense.
We've been trying to find Karen Rudolph after the first call.
- So far, we have just drawn a blank.
- We have a name and a birth date.
- He hasn't seen her in over 30 years.
- She could have moved, probably dead.
Odds are she's married and changed her name.
- Well, we've got less than 48 hours.
- Boy, talk about a long shot.
[KNOCKING ON WINDOW.]
Scarecrow.
Now, wait a minute, Billy.
You are not suggesting that Amanda? He hasn't seen his daughter since she was 3.
Mrs.
King happens to be the right age and besides, he knows all our other women agents.
She will never pull it off.
Well, it's the only shot we have at the moment.
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE.]
Merry Christmas, yeah.
BILLY [ON RECORDING.]
: The 25th is in less than two days, we can't possibly Be reasonable, man.
Even if we could find her, she may not be willing RUDOLPH: We have ways of convincing people, don't we, Melrose? BILLY: Where? RUDOLPH: The cabin in the woods 40 miles out on route 84.
You'll find the map at the usual drop.
Be there.
[LINE DISCONNECTS.]
Comrades, this is from our phone tap of Rudolph's apartment.
Quite compromising, wouldn't you say so? It would seem to me that we have no alternative but to neutralize Mr.
Rudolph.
Immediately.
The tea in this country is abominable.
- How do we find him? - Oh, the Americans will lead us right to him.
You will follow whoever they sent directly to Rudolph.
Terminate him.
And then terminate the Americans.
With extreme prejudice.
AMANDA: Are you sure we'll be back in time? The boys always open their presents on Christmas Eve.
Besides, I still have to prepare the goose for tomorrow.
We'll be back by 4:00, 5 at the latest.
- It's a simple assignment.
- That's what you always say.
Amanda, all you have to do is play your part.
You did study your scenario, didn't you? Mm-hm, my name is Karen Rudolph, um, we lived in Silver Springs, Maryland until I was 3 years old, that's when my father left.
He sent me birthday presents from all over the world.
My mother told me that he had a very important job with the government.
- Gee, that's sad.
- Sad? What's sad? Growing up without a father.
Some people manage to do very well without a father.
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get personal.
I wasn't speaking personally.
So how do you usually spend your Christmas? On my living-room couch with a large bowl of guacamole dip a perfectly chilled bottle of Dom Perignon '73.
- And a good football game.
- Lonely.
Christmas is just like any other day of the year.
It's 24 hours long, the sun rises, it sets there's football games on TV, they don't deliver the mail and the next day is the 26th.
Oh, come on, Scrooge, I know somewhere in there's a little boy who has lots of homey Christmas memories.
Home for little Lee Stetson was wherever his uncle, the colonel, was stationed.
Once in Greenland, once in Hamburg, twice in Guam.
Believe me, Christmas dinner in a mess hall with 500 guys fighting for the dark meat isn't too homey.
And that's nothing compared to the Easter-egg hunt in the Sahara.
- All right, one binoculars.
- Binoculars.
LEE: One poncho.
Two poncho.
- Poncho.
- One map.
Two map.
One canteen.
- Map.
Canteen.
Two canteen.
A pair of extra socks.
- A pair of extra socks.
LEE: Two pair of socks.
- One flare.
Two flare.
- Flare.
LEE: One chewing gum.
- Chewing gum.
LEE: Two chewing gum.
- Two chewing gum.
[AMANDA GRUNTS.]
Now I know why you really brought me along.
Hmm.
It's three miles in, should take us an hour, hour and a half if we keep up a good pace.
Yes, sir.
Let's go.
Situation is tenuous.
Very tenuous.
Stetson will have Rudolph back here this evening.
Stetson's methods tend to be a little unorthodox.
- He gets results.
- Yes, but the bill is sometimes rather high.
That naval attaché is still a little hot under the collar about his Jaguar not to mention his daughter.
- Just doing his job.
I'm sure he was.
You are, I trust, aware of the downside risks involved in this Rudolph matter.
There are elements within the agency who have, uh, promoted a more, uh permanent solution to this problem.
The Security Committee is meeting this afternoon.
This matter is on the agenda.
Now, I would like the director to be able to assure the president that there's no reason for concern.
- I'm sure Stetson will handle it.
- Let's hope so.
For Rudolph's sake.
AMANDA: Lee? LEE: What? - Can we take a little breather? You're the one who wanted to be back by 5:00.
Maybe we could just slow down a little bit, huh? - All right, we'll take a little break.
- Thanks.
[AMANDA PANTING.]
[BOTH GRUNT.]
Lee, isn't this a little sudden? Shouldn't we talk about this? This would compromise our whole professional relationship [WHISPERS.]
Shh.
Amanda, will you shut up, please? - [IN NORMAL VOICE.]
They're gone.
- Who's gone? I saw two men over there with rifles.
They're probably just hunters.
Come on.
Oh, so that's what you were doing.
- You were protecting me.
- Sure.
- What else would I be doing? - Ahem, nothing.
- That was very gallant of you.
Thank you.
- All right, we'll take the shortcut.
The terrain's rougher, but it should get us there sooner.
Come on.
Let's go.
- Are you sure you know where we're going? - Yes.
All right, it's north by northwest of here.
Where's the sun? Uh, there.
So if that's due west Of course you have to take into account the seasonal adjustment.
We go that way.
Well, now, the sun is due west only at the equinox and we're three days past the winter solstice.
- I think I'd better just check the moss.
- The moss? Yeah, the moss.
You see Well, look.
You just look at a tree.
You find a tree and the moss always grows on the north side.
- Amanda.
- That is the north side because moss grows - Amanda! What? Do you really think that some Mickey-Mouse spy course you're taking can replace actual experience in the field? This isn't from one of my courses this is from the Cub-Scout handbook.
- Oh.
Say what you will about the Scouts but they certainly can find their way out of the woods.
North is that way.
[FOOTSTEPS APPRO ACHING.]
- Stand where you are.
Don't move.
- Janus, it's Scarecrow.
Don't call me Janus.
My name is Rudolph.
- Hi, Dad.
- Karen? You're not a little girl anymore.
So it was, uh, a surprise when the government called after all these years.
- Well, I'm sorry it had to be this way.
- Me too.
I imagine, uh, you've been pretty Ionely ever since your mother passed away.
Well, yes, but I've gotten used to it.
Well, still, it must be very difficult around Christmas.
Oh, well, I just try to treat Christmas like any other day.
Twenty-four hours long, sun rises, sun sets.
- What do you usually do? - Nothing much.
Um I just stay at home, open up a nice bottle of, uh, champagne watch a football game, make a guacamole dip.
Karen, I want you to know that during all this time, I've never forgotten you.
L I've thought about you so many times.
Do you realize what it is to spend Christmas without your loved ones? No, it must be just terrible.
I mean, uh, of course, it was awful to be away from you.
I hope that you got the gifts that I sent you.
I mean, they must have arrived in July.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well, better late than never.
We should be getting back to Washington.
The sun will be gone in an hour and a half and it's a long trek.
Just a second.
Karen, I've gotta tell you something.
L I've got to go away again for a year, or maybe two.
It's just to establish a new identity, uh, kind of a new life.
But once we get that behind me, I'd like to come back and see you.
And be the father that I've never been.
If you let me.
Of course I'll let you.
Thank you, honey.
Well, I think Mr.
Stetson's probably right.
We should probably hit the road.
We'll lose the sun in an hour or so.
RUDOLPH: Let's go.
- Nobody's going anywhere.
- Darn it! Those weren't hunters out there.
- What? Two men outside with AKM automatic weapons.
KGB.
I don't think they're here to wish us a merry Christmas.
Any other weapons besides the.
22? - Yeah, the firewood axe.
- Yeah.
All right.
Let's sit tight.
I don't think they're gonna do any thing till it's dark.
I don't want Karen hurt.
- I'll go out there.
- No, wait a second.
There's no assurance they won't kill us anyway.
We're witnesses.
- Besides, I need you.
- What for? We don't have a chance.
A.
22 rifle, a handgun against automatic weapons.
- What do you think we're gonna do? - I don't know.
But I'll think of something.
FRANCINE [O VER RADIO.]
: Scarecrow, this is Flagship.
You read me? This is Flagship, do you read me? Scarecrow, this is Flagship, do you read me? - They should have been out by now.
- I'll try another frequency.
No, Scarecrow would know better than to switch channels.
I don't like it.
In a half hour, they'll have lost the light completely.
FRANCINE: Scarecrow, this is Flagship, do you read? We haven't been able to reach Stetson.
Oh, it might be academic.
The Security Committee has decided to dispatch a commando squad if he's not back here with Rudolph by 7 p.
m.
- Now, wait a second, Lucas.
- This comes from the man himself, Melrose.
He was quite specific, and I quote, "I am not prepared to compromise the entire Covert-Operations Network for one burned out agent.
" - What kind of commando squad? - Our very best.
- They have orders to shoot to kill.
- That is overkill.
- Ted Rudolph is not a dangerous man.
- Quite the contrary.
The man is unhinged and desperate.
As a matter of fact, he's a demolition expert.
For all we know, he has the entire cabin wired.
Now, we can't take any chances.
I've got two people there.
One a civilian, Mrs.
King.
I'm sure you explained all the risks involved very clearly to her.
Oh.
Merry Christmas, Melrose.
Desmond.
Oh.
By the way, Desmond we're having a little party later down on four.
In case you want to drop by.
No, thank you, I have a little bit of work to do here.
Oh, that's a pity.
The, uh, deputy director is going to be quite disappointed.
LEE: Their likely position is here, where there's some cover.
You start firing out the front window, covering me while I go out back.
When they return fire, I'll get a bead on their position surprise one of them and disarm him.
- Couldn't we call a truce or something? - They'll never go for it.
Believe me.
They have the upper hand.
Look, it's getting dark, it's cold out there and doesn't anybody realize it's Christmas Eve? The KGB isn't very big on holiday cheer.
How do you know that? They're people, aren't they? They're out there and they're cold and they probably have wives and children somewhere Karen, you don't know these people the way we do.
You just don't understand.
I think it would at least be worth putting a white flag out, seeing if they answered.
Trust me, it won't work.
Now, are you ready for this, huh? Oh, yeah.
All right.
Now, please, crouch behind a wall or something there's going to be some shooting.
Let's go.
[GUN COCKS.]
All right, hold on! Give me the gun.
Come on, give it to me.
[RIFLE COCKS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRO ANS.]
[GRUNTS.]
- Are you all right? - Yeah.
[GRO ANS.]
Maybe not.
[LEE GRO ANS.]
- Here.
Oh, God.
- Aah.
[GRO ANS.]
Let me see.
[LEE GRO ANS.]
- Um, do you have any towels? - There's some rags in the cupboard.
[LEE PANTING.]
Any kind of, uh, antiseptic? Something to stop the bleeding.
- Is it bad? How bad? - No.
[LEE GRUNTS.]
A medical kit in the car.
I saw it in the trunk of the car.
It's three-hours round trip to the road if you can get past them.
And it's getting dark.
Yes, very good.
That was Dimitri's control.
He has just received a transmission.
Ivan is wounded and there are two American agents with Rudolph.
Here's their position.
I am confident that you fully understand just how inconvenient it would be if any of the Americans would come out of these woods alive.
A merry Christmas, Mr.
Rudolph.
[SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN.]
[GRO ANS.]
RUDOLPH: What are you doing? - I'm going to try to get to the car.
What makes you think they'll let you pass? Well, one of them is wounded too.
There's more at stake here than the lives of two men.
- This involves national security.
- I don't care about national security.
I don't want him to die.
We know the risks, it's our job.
Try to understand that.
He is very badly wounded and one of them is wounded too.
There's a medical kit in the car, it's got antiseptic Don't be so stubborn! I'm not going to let you do this.
- You're my daughter.
- I'm not your daughter.
- What? - My name is Amanda King, Mr.
Rudolph.
I work part-time for the agency.
Rank GS7, seasonal employee.
I'm very sorry.
Now, I'm gonna try to make it to the car so you take care of Mr.
Stetson while I'm gone.
AMANDA: May I have your attention please? [RIFLE COCKS.]
I know you're out there.
I'm coming out.
We have a wounded man inside and he's hurt very badly and I need to go to the car to get the medical-supply kit so that I can help him so It's awfully cold out here so if you'd like to come inside the cabin and wait for me that would be all right.
[HO ARSELY.]
Look.
It's Christmas Eve.
[CLEARS THRO AT.]
And I don't know what that means to you but to me it means that we should be thinking about peace.
And helping each other.
[CLEARS THRO AT.]
I shouldn't, uh I shouldn't be here, I should be at home.
I have two little boys.
Philip, he's 10 and Jamie, he's 8.
And I should be at home, filling their stockings.
And I wish I were.
But I'm not.
I'm here.
All I'm asking you to do is just call a truce for a few minutes so that we can help each other, and that's all.
Now, I'm gonna step down, please don't shoot me.
[GASPS.]
Give me car keys.
First you help me carry Ivan inside.
Then I go to car for supplies.
Yes.
Damn it, I should have never sent them in.
It's not your fault, Billy.
Well, whose fault is it, then? Look, why don't you take off? It's out of our hands now.
- No, I'll stick around a little while.
- Francine, it's Christmas Eve.
Surely you've made some plans.
Just a party some letch on the Far Asia desk is giving.
Domestic champagne and paper cups.
I'll pass.
- What about you? - Oh, the usual.
A quiet evening at home with Jeannie and the kids.
Dinner.
Open a few presents.
Maybe watch the midnight Mass in St.
Patrick's on TV.
They'll be okay, Billy.
AGENT: All right, listen up.
Everyone's on alert.
The orders are shoot to kill.
Come on.
- There you go.
Sip.
- Unh.
- More? - Mm-mm.
Okay.
- What's happening? - Nothing.
You just relax.
Everything's all right.
Okay? [SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN.]
You're welcome.
RUDOLPH: You really are something.
Oh, I had a little first-aid training.
- Can I ask you a question? - Sure.
Did they really try to find my daughter? Yes, they did, there just wasn't enough time.
It's funny, I have no idea what she looks like.
They'll find her.
[CHUCKLES.]
How the devil did you get mixed up with this agency business? Well, that's kind of a long story, but, um Well, one morning, I was, um, at the train station I was taking this friend of mine to catch the train and, uh, this fellow all dressed up in a waiter suit came up to me and handed me this package and said: "Get on the train and give this to the man in the red hat," so I did.
Ha.
- But why? - I don't know.
Ha, ha, I really don't know.
I've said to myself, "Amanda, why are you in this spy business?" I have perfectly nice children, two of them, two boys a mother and a nice house.
I have a man who cares about me.
Stop it! No guns.
There's a truce inside this cabin.
Please? [SIGHS.]
Okay.
Thank you.
[AGENT WHISPERING IN RUSSIAN.]
[GRUNTS.]
[AMANDA SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
A bad dream.
[ALL CHATTERING.]
Amanda? Just a minute.
You all right? [WHISPERS.]
What the hell is going on here? Oh.
We called a truce.
- They agreed? - Sure.
Well, you see, Ivan was wounded too and it was very cold outside, so Dimitri went and got the medical kit.
Ivan and Dimitri? Oh, I don't believe this.
I'm in the middle of The Brothers Karamazov.
AMANDA: All right.
Heh.
Well it's not much of a Christmas dinner, but it's all we have.
There you are.
Don't you like beans? Herring.
Do you like? Well, I'm It's very good herring.
From Baltic Sea.
- Imported.
- What's in the flask? Uh, vodka, 110 proof.
- Makes herring taste better.
- Oh, well, it would.
[AMANDA CHUCKLES.]
- Oh, no, l I really couldn't.
L - I eat your beans, you drink my vodka.
Well, if you insist, maybe just one little nip to be sociable.
[COUGHING.]
Vodka.
Good for blood circulation.
Make you feel better.
Ha, ha.
You got any vermouth? We could make a martini.
[CHUCKLES.]
It's just a joke.
[SIGHS.]
[SIGHS.]
Mm! - Thank you.
- Ha, ha, don't mention it.
It's a crazy business we're in, huh? Now, you have to eat to keep up your strength.
I hate beans.
- Drink.
- Why should I drink? Because you're very sad tonight, Rudolph.
Tonight we drink together, tomorrow we make war again.
You were sent to kill me, weren't you? It's nothing personal, you understand.
- Never is.
- This business.
I give my word to lady, no guns in cabin, I have honor.
So tonight we drink, no? Amanda, how did you pull all this off? Well it's Christmas Eve, we just called a truce.
Heh, come on, Christmas isn't very big in this business.
Well, it's stopped you from killing each other, hasn't it? Yeah.
Look, I'm sorry I got you mixed up in all this mess.
Oh, that's all right.
Look, how often does a suburban lady like me get to drink vodka with the KGB and eat beans on Christmas? Speaking of vodka.
- Oh, no, l I really don't think you should.
- Yeah, for medicinal purposes.
Will you eat your beans? AGENT: Come on, keep moving.
Let's go.
Let's go.
[AMANDA AND LEE GIGGLING.]
DIMITRl: I propose toast.
To Christmas, to Politburo, and to Mother Russia.
- Hear, hear! - Ha, ha.
- I propose a toast.
- Hmm? To Christmas, the President and the Washington Redskins.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
- To Dallas Cowboys.
ALL: Yes.
I hope she remembered to put snow tires on her car.
I knew that weather was gonna turn bad.
Grandma, are you sure we can't open up just one present? Phil, no, honey.
Your mama would be so disappointed.
You know how sentimental she gets at Christmas time.
- Can I have a small one? - You gotta be patient.
She's going to be home soon.
Where is she anyway? She went to deliver some presents to some of her clients.
Mom's okay, isn't she, Grandma? [DOTTY CHUCKLES.]
Of course she's okay.
She, uh She probably got caught up in some kind of a Christmas party.
People get very sentimental and very festive this time of year.
[ALL GIGGLING.]
Look! It's starting to snow.
[ALL CHEER AND LAUGH.]
Look.
I'd like to propose a toast.
To peace on earth and goodwill toward men.
And women.
Merry Christmas.
[RIFLES COCK.]
[HARMONICA PLAYING "SILENT NIGHT".]
[ALL SINGING "SILENT NIGHT".]
[SINGING CONTINUES.]
[SINGING CONTINUES.]
[WHISPERS.]
Boy, it must have been some Christmas party.
Merry Christmas.
Mom, what are you doing sleeping down here? I wanted to be sure Santa Claus didn't miss the house.
Come here and give me a hug.
- Hello.
Oh! - Mom.
- You okay, Mom? - Yeah, I'm fine.
Tell you what.
Why don't you go wake Grandma up tell her we're gonna make special Christmas waffles then you can open your presents.
Okay, run.
Okay, hurry up.
[PHONE RINGS.]
- Hello.
- AMANDA: Hi.
How're you doing? I'm fine, just fine.
Oh, I could use a little more sleep.
They wake you up at the crack of dawn here.
I guess it's pretty bleak to be spending your Christmas in the hospital.
I've spent Christmas in worse places.
Billy came to see me this morning, he brought me a toothbrush.
And a couple of other necessities.
- Oh, he did? Good.
- Listen.
They found Ted Rudolph's daughter.
She's married, has three kids, and lives in Portland.
Oh, I'm glad.
What about, um, Ivan and Dimitri? - What's going to happen to them? - Ah, they'll be deported.
Probably spend New Year's in Moscow with all the herring they can eat.
Lucky everyone decided it was a no-win situation.
We'd still be shooting it out.
[LAUGHING.]
It was a hell of a Christmas Eve, wasn't it? Yeah, it was.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Grandma will be right down.
- Okay.
What was that? Oh, it's just the, uh, medicine that they insist I take.
Oh, tsk, poor Lee.
Hmm No, the stuff doesn't taste too bad.
Look, I guess I'm I really ought to go now.
- Merry Christmas, Amanda.
- Merry Christmas, Lee.
SANTA CLAUS: Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Ho-ho-ho.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Ho-ho-ho.
Those are my conditions.
Merry Christmas.
A new job.
Another identity.
Complete relocation, a whole new life.
Don't tell me I'm asking too much, I'm not asking too much.
I don't care about the agency red tape, I need to come in right now.
I'm warning you, before I go down, a lot of your people are going down with me.
Ted Rudolph.
- Did you get a trace on the call? - Phone booth.
What's left of it is in pieces in front of Martindale's Department Store.
The Washington Police Bomb Squad said it was a very sophisticated device.
- KGB? - It wasn't the Salvation Army.
[LEE SCOFFS.]
He wants us to bring him in.
If we don't, he says we're going to be sorry.
- Can he hurt us? - Are you familiar with his file? Not in any depth.
Uh, a company man, old-school tie, OSS, codename Janus.
I will just give you the broad strokes here.
Ted Rudolph, a.
k.
a.
Kenneth Ciardi, a.
k.
a.
Henry Sturbidge.
Born 1925, recruited 1946.
OSS, post-war Berlin Paris-Marseilles, 1953 to 1957, Prague, '61 Moscow, '64 as a news correspondent.
Brought back in '68.
Since then, he's been in deep cover working both sides of the street.
As you can see, a very valuable man.
He brought in Belinsky in '72 and Kasimov is '77.
He's plugged in as high as Andropov.
If he wants to come in, then he must be in trouble.
Oh, his control hasn't heard from in three weeks.
He's been acting strangely the past three months.
- He thinks it might be burnout syndrome.
- Heh, I'm not surprised.
The guy's been walking a tightrope for 15 years.
BILLY: We're trying to locate his family.
His wife died in '75, natural causes.
There's a daughter, early 30s.
But she's moved away, so we don't have any lead on her.
- What do we do? - We wait.
There's nothing we can do until he contacts us again.
[KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
Come.
This came in for you, Mr.
Melrose.
- From where? - Sixth floor.
Could you sign here, please? FRANCINE: Hmm.
Aren't you, uh, gonna open it, Billy? It looks like a Christmas present.
Sixth floor, let's see.
That's Scenarios and Ciphers.
- What's a euphemism for dirty tricks? - Covert operations.
Yeah.
Open it up.
Those dirty-tricks guys have a hell of a sense of humor.
- It's probably just some files.
- It's not marked "Eyes Only.
" [LEE AND FRANCINE LAUGHING.]
FRANCINE: Oh! - Those guys are a riot.
Why don't we send them some phony ciphers or something? - What's it for? - Oh, the office Christmas party.
I lost a bet on a Redskins game.
Billy, I can't think of a better Santa Claus.
There is no way you're gonna get me to put this on.
Oh, come on, Billy, where's your Christmas spirit? It's a dirty job, but somebody's gotta do it.
Ho-ho-ho.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
DOTTY: I think the tree looks smaller this year.
- Don't you? - Oh, I don't know.
They seem like they get smaller and smaller and more and more expensive every year.
You should have seen the, uh, really big ones outside of Greery's they had.
When you were little, you'd go with your daddy to pick the tree.
Oh, yeah.
He would tell me that the man who sold them was a friend of Santa Claus they came directly from the North Pole.
Ha, ha.
Oh, I hope Philip and Jamie have those kind of Christmas memories.
Yeah, I hope so too.
I don't know though.
You know, when Philip was 6 and I was explaining to him about Santa Claus and how he came down the chimney, you know what he said? He said, "Don't con me, Mom.
" Ha, ha.
Amanda, I always think that Christmas is a time to start thinking a little more positively.
[CHUCKLES.]
- I have a feeling I know what's coming.
- Well, children do need stability, darling.
I know, Mother, and Dean is very stable and I'm very fond of him.
He's got a good job and I know he adores the boys but I'm just not ready yet.
Amanda, I'm not trying to rush you.
- I just think that it's Christmas time - I know.
- He's coming to Christmas dinner.
- Good.
You know what he got Philip? He got Philip an entire, uh, Redskins football suit with the, uh, shoulder pads and everything and he got Jamie a junior weather-bureau kit with a real barometer.
Ha, ha.
- He is so considerate.
- He is to a fault.
Uh-oh, I've gotta go.
I'm going to deliver a few presents to some of my, uh, people that I walk and water for.
Well, that's good public relations.
- Amanda? - Hmm.
What are they like, these people that you work for? Just normal, everyday people.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
Thank you.
Ah.
Well, you don't seem to be getting in the spirit of things.
Huh? - Ah, I'm just not very big on parties.
- Oh, come on, it's Christmas.
[MOUTHING WORDS.]
Oh, speaking of jolly, there she is.
Our woman in suburbia, bearing gifts.
- Now, don't be nasty, Francine, huh? - Ha, ha, I wouldn't dream of it.
Hello, merry Christmas.
I just came to deliver some presents.
- Oh, you really shouldn't have.
- Oh, well, you know, it's Christmas and all.
- Go ahead, open them up.
- Oh, all right.
There we go.
Now, see, I got you something that you would never get for yourself.
Look at that, see? Socks.
They're the same, you won't have to worry about matching when they come out of the dryer.
- Just what I've always wanted.
Oh, perfume, how very sweet of you, Amanda.
It's called "Intrigue.
" Very good for the spy.
Now, I got Mr.
Melrose a cardigan sweater.
It's beige.
Well, you know, his taste in clothes is a little conservative.
- Extremely conservative.
- Yes.
[ALL CHEERING AND APPLAUDING.]
Ho-ho-ho.
- Don't push it, Stetson.
- Ha, ha.
- Nice to see you, Mrs.
King.
- Merry Christmas, Mr.
Melrose.
- Here.
I hope it fits.
- That's very kind of you.
Oh, excuse me, Mr.
Melrose, but there's a call for you on 61.
BILLY: Thank you.
- Must be the North Pole.
[LAUGHING.]
AMANDA: He is cute.
Amanda, tell us, what's new in sinful suburbia? The 25th is in less than two days, we can't possibly Be reasonable, man.
Even if we could find her, she may not be willing RUDOLPH: We have ways of convincing people, don't we, Melrose? - Where? - The cabin in the woods 40 miles out on route 84.
You'll find the map at the usual drop.
- Be there.
- Wait, Janus [LINE DISCONNECTS.]
Janus? Ah, yeah.
Lee.
Francine.
In here.
- Uh, excuse us, Amanda.
AMANDA: Sure.
How many agents does it take to change a bulb? - I don't know.
- Fifteen.
One to unscrew the bulb and 14 to debrief the building.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
That's good.
That's Rudolph? He's holed up in a cabin in the woods in Virginia.
- His deadline's the 25th.
- Or else? He goes public with the names of every American and Soviet undercover agent working in this country.
Ted Rudolph's in a position to jeopardize our most sensitive intelligence programs.
As well as endanger the lives of a number of people.
We can relocate him, can't we? We do it all the time.
Lee, that's not all he wants.
He wants us to find his daughter and bring her to him.
- His daughter? Why? - I don't know.
He wasn't making much sense.
We've been trying to find Karen Rudolph after the first call.
- So far, we have just drawn a blank.
- We have a name and a birth date.
- He hasn't seen her in over 30 years.
- She could have moved, probably dead.
Odds are she's married and changed her name.
- Well, we've got less than 48 hours.
- Boy, talk about a long shot.
[KNOCKING ON WINDOW.]
Scarecrow.
Now, wait a minute, Billy.
You are not suggesting that Amanda? He hasn't seen his daughter since she was 3.
Mrs.
King happens to be the right age and besides, he knows all our other women agents.
She will never pull it off.
Well, it's the only shot we have at the moment.
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE.]
Merry Christmas, yeah.
BILLY [ON RECORDING.]
: The 25th is in less than two days, we can't possibly Be reasonable, man.
Even if we could find her, she may not be willing RUDOLPH: We have ways of convincing people, don't we, Melrose? BILLY: Where? RUDOLPH: The cabin in the woods 40 miles out on route 84.
You'll find the map at the usual drop.
Be there.
[LINE DISCONNECTS.]
Comrades, this is from our phone tap of Rudolph's apartment.
Quite compromising, wouldn't you say so? It would seem to me that we have no alternative but to neutralize Mr.
Rudolph.
Immediately.
The tea in this country is abominable.
- How do we find him? - Oh, the Americans will lead us right to him.
You will follow whoever they sent directly to Rudolph.
Terminate him.
And then terminate the Americans.
With extreme prejudice.
AMANDA: Are you sure we'll be back in time? The boys always open their presents on Christmas Eve.
Besides, I still have to prepare the goose for tomorrow.
We'll be back by 4:00, 5 at the latest.
- It's a simple assignment.
- That's what you always say.
Amanda, all you have to do is play your part.
You did study your scenario, didn't you? Mm-hm, my name is Karen Rudolph, um, we lived in Silver Springs, Maryland until I was 3 years old, that's when my father left.
He sent me birthday presents from all over the world.
My mother told me that he had a very important job with the government.
- Gee, that's sad.
- Sad? What's sad? Growing up without a father.
Some people manage to do very well without a father.
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get personal.
I wasn't speaking personally.
So how do you usually spend your Christmas? On my living-room couch with a large bowl of guacamole dip a perfectly chilled bottle of Dom Perignon '73.
- And a good football game.
- Lonely.
Christmas is just like any other day of the year.
It's 24 hours long, the sun rises, it sets there's football games on TV, they don't deliver the mail and the next day is the 26th.
Oh, come on, Scrooge, I know somewhere in there's a little boy who has lots of homey Christmas memories.
Home for little Lee Stetson was wherever his uncle, the colonel, was stationed.
Once in Greenland, once in Hamburg, twice in Guam.
Believe me, Christmas dinner in a mess hall with 500 guys fighting for the dark meat isn't too homey.
And that's nothing compared to the Easter-egg hunt in the Sahara.
- All right, one binoculars.
- Binoculars.
LEE: One poncho.
Two poncho.
- Poncho.
- One map.
Two map.
One canteen.
- Map.
Canteen.
Two canteen.
A pair of extra socks.
- A pair of extra socks.
LEE: Two pair of socks.
- One flare.
Two flare.
- Flare.
LEE: One chewing gum.
- Chewing gum.
LEE: Two chewing gum.
- Two chewing gum.
[AMANDA GRUNTS.]
Now I know why you really brought me along.
Hmm.
It's three miles in, should take us an hour, hour and a half if we keep up a good pace.
Yes, sir.
Let's go.
Situation is tenuous.
Very tenuous.
Stetson will have Rudolph back here this evening.
Stetson's methods tend to be a little unorthodox.
- He gets results.
- Yes, but the bill is sometimes rather high.
That naval attaché is still a little hot under the collar about his Jaguar not to mention his daughter.
- Just doing his job.
I'm sure he was.
You are, I trust, aware of the downside risks involved in this Rudolph matter.
There are elements within the agency who have, uh, promoted a more, uh permanent solution to this problem.
The Security Committee is meeting this afternoon.
This matter is on the agenda.
Now, I would like the director to be able to assure the president that there's no reason for concern.
- I'm sure Stetson will handle it.
- Let's hope so.
For Rudolph's sake.
AMANDA: Lee? LEE: What? - Can we take a little breather? You're the one who wanted to be back by 5:00.
Maybe we could just slow down a little bit, huh? - All right, we'll take a little break.
- Thanks.
[AMANDA PANTING.]
[BOTH GRUNT.]
Lee, isn't this a little sudden? Shouldn't we talk about this? This would compromise our whole professional relationship [WHISPERS.]
Shh.
Amanda, will you shut up, please? - [IN NORMAL VOICE.]
They're gone.
- Who's gone? I saw two men over there with rifles.
They're probably just hunters.
Come on.
Oh, so that's what you were doing.
- You were protecting me.
- Sure.
- What else would I be doing? - Ahem, nothing.
- That was very gallant of you.
Thank you.
- All right, we'll take the shortcut.
The terrain's rougher, but it should get us there sooner.
Come on.
Let's go.
- Are you sure you know where we're going? - Yes.
All right, it's north by northwest of here.
Where's the sun? Uh, there.
So if that's due west Of course you have to take into account the seasonal adjustment.
We go that way.
Well, now, the sun is due west only at the equinox and we're three days past the winter solstice.
- I think I'd better just check the moss.
- The moss? Yeah, the moss.
You see Well, look.
You just look at a tree.
You find a tree and the moss always grows on the north side.
- Amanda.
- That is the north side because moss grows - Amanda! What? Do you really think that some Mickey-Mouse spy course you're taking can replace actual experience in the field? This isn't from one of my courses this is from the Cub-Scout handbook.
- Oh.
Say what you will about the Scouts but they certainly can find their way out of the woods.
North is that way.
[FOOTSTEPS APPRO ACHING.]
- Stand where you are.
Don't move.
- Janus, it's Scarecrow.
Don't call me Janus.
My name is Rudolph.
- Hi, Dad.
- Karen? You're not a little girl anymore.
So it was, uh, a surprise when the government called after all these years.
- Well, I'm sorry it had to be this way.
- Me too.
I imagine, uh, you've been pretty Ionely ever since your mother passed away.
Well, yes, but I've gotten used to it.
Well, still, it must be very difficult around Christmas.
Oh, well, I just try to treat Christmas like any other day.
Twenty-four hours long, sun rises, sun sets.
- What do you usually do? - Nothing much.
Um I just stay at home, open up a nice bottle of, uh, champagne watch a football game, make a guacamole dip.
Karen, I want you to know that during all this time, I've never forgotten you.
L I've thought about you so many times.
Do you realize what it is to spend Christmas without your loved ones? No, it must be just terrible.
I mean, uh, of course, it was awful to be away from you.
I hope that you got the gifts that I sent you.
I mean, they must have arrived in July.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well, better late than never.
We should be getting back to Washington.
The sun will be gone in an hour and a half and it's a long trek.
Just a second.
Karen, I've gotta tell you something.
L I've got to go away again for a year, or maybe two.
It's just to establish a new identity, uh, kind of a new life.
But once we get that behind me, I'd like to come back and see you.
And be the father that I've never been.
If you let me.
Of course I'll let you.
Thank you, honey.
Well, I think Mr.
Stetson's probably right.
We should probably hit the road.
We'll lose the sun in an hour or so.
RUDOLPH: Let's go.
- Nobody's going anywhere.
- Darn it! Those weren't hunters out there.
- What? Two men outside with AKM automatic weapons.
KGB.
I don't think they're here to wish us a merry Christmas.
Any other weapons besides the.
22? - Yeah, the firewood axe.
- Yeah.
All right.
Let's sit tight.
I don't think they're gonna do any thing till it's dark.
I don't want Karen hurt.
- I'll go out there.
- No, wait a second.
There's no assurance they won't kill us anyway.
We're witnesses.
- Besides, I need you.
- What for? We don't have a chance.
A.
22 rifle, a handgun against automatic weapons.
- What do you think we're gonna do? - I don't know.
But I'll think of something.
FRANCINE [O VER RADIO.]
: Scarecrow, this is Flagship.
You read me? This is Flagship, do you read me? Scarecrow, this is Flagship, do you read me? - They should have been out by now.
- I'll try another frequency.
No, Scarecrow would know better than to switch channels.
I don't like it.
In a half hour, they'll have lost the light completely.
FRANCINE: Scarecrow, this is Flagship, do you read? We haven't been able to reach Stetson.
Oh, it might be academic.
The Security Committee has decided to dispatch a commando squad if he's not back here with Rudolph by 7 p.
m.
- Now, wait a second, Lucas.
- This comes from the man himself, Melrose.
He was quite specific, and I quote, "I am not prepared to compromise the entire Covert-Operations Network for one burned out agent.
" - What kind of commando squad? - Our very best.
- They have orders to shoot to kill.
- That is overkill.
- Ted Rudolph is not a dangerous man.
- Quite the contrary.
The man is unhinged and desperate.
As a matter of fact, he's a demolition expert.
For all we know, he has the entire cabin wired.
Now, we can't take any chances.
I've got two people there.
One a civilian, Mrs.
King.
I'm sure you explained all the risks involved very clearly to her.
Oh.
Merry Christmas, Melrose.
Desmond.
Oh.
By the way, Desmond we're having a little party later down on four.
In case you want to drop by.
No, thank you, I have a little bit of work to do here.
Oh, that's a pity.
The, uh, deputy director is going to be quite disappointed.
LEE: Their likely position is here, where there's some cover.
You start firing out the front window, covering me while I go out back.
When they return fire, I'll get a bead on their position surprise one of them and disarm him.
- Couldn't we call a truce or something? - They'll never go for it.
Believe me.
They have the upper hand.
Look, it's getting dark, it's cold out there and doesn't anybody realize it's Christmas Eve? The KGB isn't very big on holiday cheer.
How do you know that? They're people, aren't they? They're out there and they're cold and they probably have wives and children somewhere Karen, you don't know these people the way we do.
You just don't understand.
I think it would at least be worth putting a white flag out, seeing if they answered.
Trust me, it won't work.
Now, are you ready for this, huh? Oh, yeah.
All right.
Now, please, crouch behind a wall or something there's going to be some shooting.
Let's go.
[GUN COCKS.]
All right, hold on! Give me the gun.
Come on, give it to me.
[RIFLE COCKS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRO ANS.]
[GRUNTS.]
- Are you all right? - Yeah.
[GRO ANS.]
Maybe not.
[LEE GRO ANS.]
- Here.
Oh, God.
- Aah.
[GRO ANS.]
Let me see.
[LEE GRO ANS.]
- Um, do you have any towels? - There's some rags in the cupboard.
[LEE PANTING.]
Any kind of, uh, antiseptic? Something to stop the bleeding.
- Is it bad? How bad? - No.
[LEE GRUNTS.]
A medical kit in the car.
I saw it in the trunk of the car.
It's three-hours round trip to the road if you can get past them.
And it's getting dark.
Yes, very good.
That was Dimitri's control.
He has just received a transmission.
Ivan is wounded and there are two American agents with Rudolph.
Here's their position.
I am confident that you fully understand just how inconvenient it would be if any of the Americans would come out of these woods alive.
A merry Christmas, Mr.
Rudolph.
[SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN.]
[GRO ANS.]
RUDOLPH: What are you doing? - I'm going to try to get to the car.
What makes you think they'll let you pass? Well, one of them is wounded too.
There's more at stake here than the lives of two men.
- This involves national security.
- I don't care about national security.
I don't want him to die.
We know the risks, it's our job.
Try to understand that.
He is very badly wounded and one of them is wounded too.
There's a medical kit in the car, it's got antiseptic Don't be so stubborn! I'm not going to let you do this.
- You're my daughter.
- I'm not your daughter.
- What? - My name is Amanda King, Mr.
Rudolph.
I work part-time for the agency.
Rank GS7, seasonal employee.
I'm very sorry.
Now, I'm gonna try to make it to the car so you take care of Mr.
Stetson while I'm gone.
AMANDA: May I have your attention please? [RIFLE COCKS.]
I know you're out there.
I'm coming out.
We have a wounded man inside and he's hurt very badly and I need to go to the car to get the medical-supply kit so that I can help him so It's awfully cold out here so if you'd like to come inside the cabin and wait for me that would be all right.
[HO ARSELY.]
Look.
It's Christmas Eve.
[CLEARS THRO AT.]
And I don't know what that means to you but to me it means that we should be thinking about peace.
And helping each other.
[CLEARS THRO AT.]
I shouldn't, uh I shouldn't be here, I should be at home.
I have two little boys.
Philip, he's 10 and Jamie, he's 8.
And I should be at home, filling their stockings.
And I wish I were.
But I'm not.
I'm here.
All I'm asking you to do is just call a truce for a few minutes so that we can help each other, and that's all.
Now, I'm gonna step down, please don't shoot me.
[GASPS.]
Give me car keys.
First you help me carry Ivan inside.
Then I go to car for supplies.
Yes.
Damn it, I should have never sent them in.
It's not your fault, Billy.
Well, whose fault is it, then? Look, why don't you take off? It's out of our hands now.
- No, I'll stick around a little while.
- Francine, it's Christmas Eve.
Surely you've made some plans.
Just a party some letch on the Far Asia desk is giving.
Domestic champagne and paper cups.
I'll pass.
- What about you? - Oh, the usual.
A quiet evening at home with Jeannie and the kids.
Dinner.
Open a few presents.
Maybe watch the midnight Mass in St.
Patrick's on TV.
They'll be okay, Billy.
AGENT: All right, listen up.
Everyone's on alert.
The orders are shoot to kill.
Come on.
- There you go.
Sip.
- Unh.
- More? - Mm-mm.
Okay.
- What's happening? - Nothing.
You just relax.
Everything's all right.
Okay? [SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN.]
You're welcome.
RUDOLPH: You really are something.
Oh, I had a little first-aid training.
- Can I ask you a question? - Sure.
Did they really try to find my daughter? Yes, they did, there just wasn't enough time.
It's funny, I have no idea what she looks like.
They'll find her.
[CHUCKLES.]
How the devil did you get mixed up with this agency business? Well, that's kind of a long story, but, um Well, one morning, I was, um, at the train station I was taking this friend of mine to catch the train and, uh, this fellow all dressed up in a waiter suit came up to me and handed me this package and said: "Get on the train and give this to the man in the red hat," so I did.
Ha.
- But why? - I don't know.
Ha, ha, I really don't know.
I've said to myself, "Amanda, why are you in this spy business?" I have perfectly nice children, two of them, two boys a mother and a nice house.
I have a man who cares about me.
Stop it! No guns.
There's a truce inside this cabin.
Please? [SIGHS.]
Okay.
Thank you.
[AGENT WHISPERING IN RUSSIAN.]
[GRUNTS.]
[AMANDA SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
A bad dream.
[ALL CHATTERING.]
Amanda? Just a minute.
You all right? [WHISPERS.]
What the hell is going on here? Oh.
We called a truce.
- They agreed? - Sure.
Well, you see, Ivan was wounded too and it was very cold outside, so Dimitri went and got the medical kit.
Ivan and Dimitri? Oh, I don't believe this.
I'm in the middle of The Brothers Karamazov.
AMANDA: All right.
Heh.
Well it's not much of a Christmas dinner, but it's all we have.
There you are.
Don't you like beans? Herring.
Do you like? Well, I'm It's very good herring.
From Baltic Sea.
- Imported.
- What's in the flask? Uh, vodka, 110 proof.
- Makes herring taste better.
- Oh, well, it would.
[AMANDA CHUCKLES.]
- Oh, no, l I really couldn't.
L - I eat your beans, you drink my vodka.
Well, if you insist, maybe just one little nip to be sociable.
[COUGHING.]
Vodka.
Good for blood circulation.
Make you feel better.
Ha, ha.
You got any vermouth? We could make a martini.
[CHUCKLES.]
It's just a joke.
[SIGHS.]
[SIGHS.]
Mm! - Thank you.
- Ha, ha, don't mention it.
It's a crazy business we're in, huh? Now, you have to eat to keep up your strength.
I hate beans.
- Drink.
- Why should I drink? Because you're very sad tonight, Rudolph.
Tonight we drink together, tomorrow we make war again.
You were sent to kill me, weren't you? It's nothing personal, you understand.
- Never is.
- This business.
I give my word to lady, no guns in cabin, I have honor.
So tonight we drink, no? Amanda, how did you pull all this off? Well it's Christmas Eve, we just called a truce.
Heh, come on, Christmas isn't very big in this business.
Well, it's stopped you from killing each other, hasn't it? Yeah.
Look, I'm sorry I got you mixed up in all this mess.
Oh, that's all right.
Look, how often does a suburban lady like me get to drink vodka with the KGB and eat beans on Christmas? Speaking of vodka.
- Oh, no, l I really don't think you should.
- Yeah, for medicinal purposes.
Will you eat your beans? AGENT: Come on, keep moving.
Let's go.
Let's go.
[AMANDA AND LEE GIGGLING.]
DIMITRl: I propose toast.
To Christmas, to Politburo, and to Mother Russia.
- Hear, hear! - Ha, ha.
- I propose a toast.
- Hmm? To Christmas, the President and the Washington Redskins.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
- To Dallas Cowboys.
ALL: Yes.
I hope she remembered to put snow tires on her car.
I knew that weather was gonna turn bad.
Grandma, are you sure we can't open up just one present? Phil, no, honey.
Your mama would be so disappointed.
You know how sentimental she gets at Christmas time.
- Can I have a small one? - You gotta be patient.
She's going to be home soon.
Where is she anyway? She went to deliver some presents to some of her clients.
Mom's okay, isn't she, Grandma? [DOTTY CHUCKLES.]
Of course she's okay.
She, uh She probably got caught up in some kind of a Christmas party.
People get very sentimental and very festive this time of year.
[ALL GIGGLING.]
Look! It's starting to snow.
[ALL CHEER AND LAUGH.]
Look.
I'd like to propose a toast.
To peace on earth and goodwill toward men.
And women.
Merry Christmas.
[RIFLES COCK.]
[HARMONICA PLAYING "SILENT NIGHT".]
[ALL SINGING "SILENT NIGHT".]
[SINGING CONTINUES.]
[SINGING CONTINUES.]
[WHISPERS.]
Boy, it must have been some Christmas party.
Merry Christmas.
Mom, what are you doing sleeping down here? I wanted to be sure Santa Claus didn't miss the house.
Come here and give me a hug.
- Hello.
Oh! - Mom.
- You okay, Mom? - Yeah, I'm fine.
Tell you what.
Why don't you go wake Grandma up tell her we're gonna make special Christmas waffles then you can open your presents.
Okay, run.
Okay, hurry up.
[PHONE RINGS.]
- Hello.
- AMANDA: Hi.
How're you doing? I'm fine, just fine.
Oh, I could use a little more sleep.
They wake you up at the crack of dawn here.
I guess it's pretty bleak to be spending your Christmas in the hospital.
I've spent Christmas in worse places.
Billy came to see me this morning, he brought me a toothbrush.
And a couple of other necessities.
- Oh, he did? Good.
- Listen.
They found Ted Rudolph's daughter.
She's married, has three kids, and lives in Portland.
Oh, I'm glad.
What about, um, Ivan and Dimitri? - What's going to happen to them? - Ah, they'll be deported.
Probably spend New Year's in Moscow with all the herring they can eat.
Lucky everyone decided it was a no-win situation.
We'd still be shooting it out.
[LAUGHING.]
It was a hell of a Christmas Eve, wasn't it? Yeah, it was.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Grandma will be right down.
- Okay.
What was that? Oh, it's just the, uh, medicine that they insist I take.
Oh, tsk, poor Lee.
Hmm No, the stuff doesn't taste too bad.
Look, I guess I'm I really ought to go now.
- Merry Christmas, Amanda.
- Merry Christmas, Lee.