Search Party (2016) s02e04 Episode Script


1 Shit! Shit.
- Hi.
I don't want to hear your girlfriend's orgasms again, okay? - I don't know what you're talking about.
- "Oh! Oh! - Big finish, Drew.
- Shh! Nope.
- Shh! - [GASPING] Big finish! - Okay.
Shh! - Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! What's in the bag? Nothing's in the bag.
No, April.
- April, April! No! - Oh, my God! - God! - Let me see it! Relax! "Noni Cho.
Award for Excellence in Interior Design.
" - Did you win this? - Yeah, I won it.
- I'm Noni Cho.
Gimme this.
- Oh.
Look, let's get one thing straight.
Everything about my life is none of your business.
Do you understand that? No.
[PAGE CRINKLING] Marc, you're being way too loud! K? Marc! Oh, my God.
You would love this article I'm reading.
- [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS] - It's about a girl who got trapped on top of an elephant for six days.
Okay, your music is way too loud.
- I can't get any work done.
- Oh, sorry.
- I'll turn it down.
- No.
Whoa! - What? - Whoa! What? Whoa, baby.
Oh, my God.
No! First your hair comes out and now that? What is going on? It's called having a book deal by the age of 28! [HORN HONKING OUTDOORS] Does this have anything to do with Keith? [EERIE MUSIC PLAYS] Wha-a-a-t? What? Elliot, I know.
What do you know? I know you're hooking up with someone named Keith.
[MIRTHLESS CHUCKLE] You said his name in your sleep every night this week.
Oh, my God.
Just tell me who he is.
He was a man - Yeah.
- from my past.
When you're writing, a lot of repressed stuff comes up to the surface, so Like what? I was sent to a conversion therapist to turn me straight when I was five.
His name was "Dr.
" Oh, my God.
But your parents were so liberal.
I know.
It's so messed up.
I hate them for it and I don't even know if I can forgive them.
Well, I I think you should try.
[CHUCKLES] Gonna go get you some Benadryl.
Thank you, angel.
Ew! [SIGHS] [THUDDING] [CLATTERING] - I'm so glad you like oysters.
- Mm-hmm.
I actually hate them.
[LAUGHS] But they're all I can eat right now because of my braces, so.
Oh, no, I like this place.
I'm glad you chose it.
And this article is a really good excuse for us to hang out.
- I have to say, - Mm-hmm.
when you go missing, you suddenly discover how many people from your past really care about you.
Yeah, so, we'll get into all that later, but, - for right now, - Mm-hmm.
- tell me - Mm-hmm.
your story.
Start from the beginning and don't hold back.
I'm Chantal Witherbottom and I went missing.
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS] - Ooh! Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.
- Are you? Yeah, are you? Oh.
Wh what's going on here? That's what I wanna know, Dory.
Where the hell is Keith? Look.
I'm sorry that you don't know where your ex-husband is, but, I swear I don't know where he is.
She's trying to play dumb and she's not even good at it.
I don't I'm sorry.
Who Who are you? Just tell us where he is.
I haven't heard from him in over a week.
I mean, we broke up, so we haven't been in contact.
Why'd you break up? I ended it because I just I got the feeling that he was getting involved in, like, - you know, some weird shit.
- What kind of weird shit? - Like, PI stuff.
- What PI stuff? - Jesus! - I don't know, but there was definitely, like, - some people he was afraid of.
- Be specific! Um, there was one guy one name that he kept repeating.
- Fat Franky.
- Fat Franky? Crystal.
Your dad know anybody who knows someone - who goes by Fat Franky? - I can ask, but, they don't like it when I ask about that stuff.
So, okay, you seriously don't know where he is? You're not lying to me? - No.
- Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't know where Keith is.
[MUSIC PLAYING] I don't know where Keith is.
Now you got me worried.
[SLAM] - Hi! [LAUGHS] - Portia! - Hey.
- So great to see you.
You too.
Thank you so much for having me.
You know Barry, producer of everything good? Love "Surviving Essex.
" It's such garbage.
I can't stop watching it.
- [CHUCKLES] - Thank you.
So, you know about these - brutal Charles Manson murders? - Yes, yes.
You guys, they're my all-time favorite murders.
[LAUGHTER] She's funny.
Ah! All right, well, uh, please take a seat.
I like to start off with casual conversation.
Um, do you have your phone on you, by any chance? - My phone? - Yeah.
Yes, I do.
It's on silent.
Okay, let me see it.
Oh, nice bag.
- Oh, thank you.
- Beautiful.
All right.
- See what we got.
- [CHUCKLE] Who's Ruby Plume? Um, I haven't thought about her in such a long time.
She I was in this Web series she made like five four or five years ago.
- Okay.
- [CLEARS THROAT] [PHONE THUDDING] Um, what do you think about her? - Of Ruby? - Yeah.
She's totally sweet.
She's sweet.
What do you really think about her? Well, she's kind of a tragic figure.
How? I'm always really nice to her, but there's, like, a unaddressed kind of weirdness between us, to be honest if I'm being honest.
- Weirdness? Why? - Mm-hmm.
You know, she asked me to be in her Web series and it was terrible and offensive to handicapped people.
And I had, like, three terrible monologues in it and she completely cut me out of the whole show.
And I know it was only because she didn't want anyone to outshine her in her own work, but - still.
- Yeah.
- That's not fair.
- And she's a lot older than you think.
She looks good for her age, but there's photos of her partying with Beck from like 2002.
And my friend Richard hooked up with her, said she has huge areolas, so, like, I feel really bad for her.
- Okay.
- But, that being said, she has a great heart.
- Um, here you go.
- This is, like, unique.
Thank you.
Um, why don't you call her and tell her that? [LAUGHS] No! [CHUCKLING] Why not? That would be very cruel.
She, uh, cut you out of her show, right? She begrudges your worth.
[CLEARS THROAT] I mean, you could just read, word for word, what you said.
I wrote it down.
Why would I do I'm confused of why I would do that.
Are you afraid of the truth, Portia? Great actors tell the truth.
That's the truth.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- [CLICK] - Portia! - Hi, Ruby! - What's up, girl?! I haven't heard from you in forever! I know, I know, I know, I know.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] [CLEARS THROAT] Listen, I just wanted to tell you - the truth.
- Okay You're really sweet, but also a tragic figure whose Web series was embarrassing, and offensive to handicapped people.
I know you're threatened by my talent and that you're secretly old, because of that Beck picture.
And I know that your areolas are huge.
I think you've got a really great heart, though.
[QUIETLY] Who told you about my areolas? You can't do better than that.
You look stunning.
[GASP] I love everything that's going on in your top.
- Wow! Elliott! - [BOTH LAUGH] Uh, you should've called.
I'm, like, doing emails and stuff.
- Did Patty let you in or ? - Listen, I know you're busy, but I have huge news.
What? Okay, two things.
One, I finished a draft of the book.
The entire book? Oh, my God.
Because, last time we spoke, - you, like, didn't even have a page.
- I know.
I can hardly believe it myself.
I mean, it just flows out of me.
It's remarkable.
- It's insane.
- Wow! God.
[LAUGHING] Thank you.
Well, I don't wanna celebrate quite yet.
I mean, I know it's just one draft and, you know, I know there - are tons of revisions ahead of me - Mm-hmm.
and I also was mugged.
Oh, my God.
You were mugged? It was awful.
They took everything.
I had to cancel my cards and they took the laptop.
So the whole book is gone.
- They took They took the whole book? - Every word.
- Hey.
You ever seen one of these before? Yeah.
Of course.
Uh, I just wanna talk to you real quick.
I, um, I want to let you know that I'm also applying for the Shanghai position and I was hoping that you would be willing to write me a recommendation, you know, as my, um, supervisor.
You're not gonna get that.
- Okay, why not? - Because Alan Yang's gonna get it.
He's a shoo-in.
He speaks Chinese.
I'm just being honest with you.
Okay, Max, I I really insist that I should be considered on this.
Oh, you insist? - I respectfully demand that you - Oh.
please write me a letter of recommendation.
Oh, okay.
Well, um, how's this, then? Um "It is with great enthusiasm that I recommend Drew Gardener for the Shanghai position that he will never get as long as Alan Yang is alive and well 'cause Alan Yang speaks Chinese fluently, Drew.
So, you're hiding out in a motel room - in New Hampshire? - Mm-hmm.
And your abuser would come up with creative ways to hurt you every day.
Can you give me an example of what that means? Okay, so, this one time, we were supposed to meet up.
- We had plans to take me shopping.
- Mm-hmm.
And he was four hours late because his kid, like, broke his leg or something.
And so I was waiting in the pouring, freezing rain for four hours.
I got such a bad cold! Can you believe that? Have you ever even heard of anything like this? No, I haven't.
But this is interesting.
[SLAP] I have an idea.
I think you should call him.
- See, 'cause I know he really liked you.
- Mm.
So, if he sees you're calling, I think he'll answer.
I'll do that, yeah.
- I mean now! Jesus.
Come on.
- Okay.
Um yeah.
- [DRUMMING] - Okay.
[SEAT SQUEAKING] Hey, you've reached - private investigator Keith Powell.
- It's a voicemail.
- Leave a message.
- Okay.
Sorry I missed your call.
- [BEEP] - Um, hey, K Keith.
It's It's Dory.
Um, just calling to check in.
Give me a call back when you get this.
[QUIETLY] Tell him you wanna see him.
I'd like to see you, you know, if you're around.
Tell him you made a mistake.
And I made a mistake in in breaking up.
Tell him you miss him and you wanna have sex.
And I miss you, I do, and I miss being with you and, um, we should have sex - Oh, that's good.
- when we see each other.
So, yeah, give me a call back when you get this and, um, bye.
- Good.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- So now we wait.
You let me know if he calls you.
Of course.
Um, I'm sorry, but I really feel like I should go.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
I'm sorry we came off a little strong - and I thank you for being honest, okay? - Yeah, of course.
And, you know, let me know if you need anything.
- And I hope he's okay.
- Yeah, me too.
- Okay.
- Mm-hmm.
You know, if I don't hear from him by tomorrow, I'm gonna call the police.
- Mm.
- Mm-hmm.
[HEARTBEAT] [HEARTBEAT QUICKENS] [BREATHING SHAKILY] [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS] Just dance, dance, dance You don't have to think, you just have to be Let the rhythm set us free Dance, dance, dance I'm I'm sorry.
Um, Molly? - Yeah.
- Alan's wife, Molly, right? - Yeah.
- Hi.
So great to meet you.
- Hi.
- I'm Drew Gardner.
- I work with Alan.
- Oh, Drew! Hey, he says such nice things about you.
Do you know Max? Do you know Max? - This is our boss, Max.
- Oh, yeah.
So, you know Molly.
- Yeah.
Yeah, we met.
- Of course I know Molly.
- We just talked.
- Oh, you just talked? Oh, that's so cool.
Oh, but, Max, Max, Max.
- What? - Have you seen how cute Max's kids are? - You don't wanna see kid photos, do you? - I do.
- You wanna see kid photos? - I love kids.
Show me.
- I think we all do.
- We were just in Quogue this past weekend.
- So adorable.
- She's gonna be a heartbreaker.
- Yeah, how old is that thing? - Can't lie.
- Three? Wow.
Oh, wow.
- Oh, my.
Think she looks like me? - People say she looks like me.
- She looks exactly like you.
She's your twin.
Hey, man.
Hey, Gardener! What's up?! Oh, nothing.
You know, just chilling.
- Cool.
- I'm real cool.
Hey, guess what.
Um, I'm actually gonna be applying - for the Shanghai job, too.
- You are? Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I just wanna bring it up and get it out in the open so that there's no unnecessary tension between us - in the office or anything.
- Good luck.
Thanks, man.
No, good luck for you, too.
Hey, is that your wife over there? - Yeah.
- Oh, wow.
- Yeah, she is hot.
- Huh.
[LAUGHTER] - Sure.
- Of course, yeah.
No, I'm not trying to be weird or anything.
It's just that Max had said you know, multiple times, he had mentioned that she was, like, really hot, so.
- Did he? - Yeah.
- Yeah, but I I agree.
- Huh.
But, yeah.
I mean, he's a dog.
- [LAUGHTER] - Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Right.
I mean, I heard he's just got a huge dick.
So [DRUMS] Dance, dance, dance Bye.
[DOOR SLAMS] [GASP] [STAIRS CREAKING] [LOCK CLICKING, KEYS JINGLING] [TENDER'S "VOW" PLAYS] [VOCALIZING] Sleep beneath the stars Honey, I have all I need Right in front of me Waiting in the car Burning all my money on the dashboard For the record Don't need it Where I'm going and I can't admit No way of knowing Is it cold outside? No way of knowing Will you be my guide? I'm gonna need you tonight Tell me everything is all right So, show me how You made the vow Got myself into the wrong fight - So show me where - To make amends [VOCALIZING] [SLAMS BUTTON] [CHIME] [SLAM] [OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS] Aah! [GASP] Hey.
Dory, would you ever consider joining me, like full-time? Gets lonely, working solo.
I think you have a knack for this PI stuff.
We'll make a really great team.
How's that sound? Will you consider it? [BREATHING SHAKILY] [CRIES OUT] I really wish you would.
[GROANING] Oh, baby.
[GROANING] Oh, baby.
[GROANING] Ahh! Oh, my God.
You see that, baby? What is that?