Secret Diary of a Call Girl s04e01 Episode Script

Episode 1

Out of the tree of life I just picked me a plum So much to tell you.
Three weeks of sun and sex on a private island with a millionaire client.
It looked good in the brochure.
Not all it's cracked up to be.
Still, it's good to be home.
Every London girl's dream: my own front door.
And this is all for me.
My sanctuary.
My haven.
My boudoir.
The height of luxury.
I'll call him.
I will.
It's just, you knowit's him.
And it's me.
The decision.
I've got to get to work.
New client, Liam the QC.
When you've been in the business as long as I have, you know what to expect.
He'll be all port and jowels.
And gout? Sorry, I didn't mean to No, you're right.
Tell people you're a silk, it's what they expect.
But you are everything I'd hoped for.
Thank you.
Lets get cracking.
Yes.
Wow! That's a lot of stuff there.
For you.
Thanks.
Shower time! Argh! You can do it.
You can do it.
Go on.
Nearly there.
Yeah.
Go on! Yeah! You can do it! Aargh! Aargh! Yes! No! No? Cramp! Oh, Jesus! Do you want to take a break? No! Let's try another position? Against the wall.
OK.
Bring it home! Bring it! Bring it! I'm bringing! Bring it! Shit, sorry.
Bring it! I just It's fine.
It happens.
Is this it? Yeah.
This is the one! Oh, sorry, can we just? Belle, can we stop.
Oh Are you OK? I mean, this is very strange.
There must be a reason why? I took a few little helpers.
A few!? I knew it! Liam, I am very good at my job, but even I can't go past that! Why do you take them? No offence, it's not you.
You're beautiful.
But I've seen loads of beautiful girls and still the sex is There's no mystique any more, no mystery.
Well, you know everyone gets .
.
jaded.
Yeah? You know how long it is since I last came? The real thing? The big finish? Uh-uh.
Nothing gets me excited any more.
What? You're a challenge.
And I like a challenge.
I'm sorry.
If only, but I've got to go.
I'm due in court.
What the hell am I going to do about this? Um, well, th-they do say a change inin temperature can help You think I should stick my cock in an ice bucket? It might work, or you No, probably just an old wives' tale.
What? Tap it! Yes.
Tap it with a teaspoon.
Any other suggestions? Um, slam it in the door! What? Suppose I could just wave it at the judge? Wow! Thanks.
Oh, I nearly forgot.
I've got something for you.
An invitation.
From Stephanie.
You know Stephanie? I'm her lawyer.
Oh, right.
So, um, what is it? Croquet on the lawn? Difficult.
She's not at home at the moment.
Apparently Stephanie was caught speeding.
They pulled her over.
They opened the boot.
Forty thousand pounds of used cash, three fake passports and a 12-inch black dildo.
Explain that one away.
What did you expect? Stripy pyjamas? Porridge? My weeping face pressed against the bars? So, what's it actually like in here? It's just like school.
Bitches, bullies, everything in between.
Now, all you really have to do is keep the prefects sweet.
Thanks, love.
So I'm sure Liam explained what happened.
Well, sort of, yeah.
I'm not guilty of course.
Of course.
We all have a little unexplained washing.
Hmm? Money laundering.
Jumped up charge.
Liam said he'd sort it out.
Listen, Belle, I need you to take care of the business for a few days.
It's getting tricky to run things from in here.
Only so many places you can hide your phone! Yeah, I-I'm not doing that! OK? Absolutely not.
Why not? Well, be-because, you know, I've just got back from my trip, and I'm moving house and things are a bloody nightmare - It's hardly an arduous task.
Caretaker-manager.
Keep the bookings rolling in, banking.
I'm not a madam, Stephanie, OK? And I've no intention of becoming one.
Well, the thing is, not everyone is as sorted as you and me.
Don't do that, Stephanie.
It's not fair.
You know, I'm sorry.
Look I'd love to help you, Stephanie, but I don't know, I'm more of a frontline worker, you know.
Management, it's not my thing.
All right.
But if you can't help me with that, there is one other tiny little favour I'd like you to do for me.
What? A lucky escape.
Still, better to pick up her post than manage her business.
Hi! You must be Belle! God, you look exactly like my mum described.
Sorry? You? Oh, I'm Poppy.
Stephanie's daughter.
Thank you so, so much for agreeing to let me stay.
I'm so sorry.
Sorry about that.
Don't worry about it.
Oh, God, it's lovely.
I would so love to have somewhere like this.
So, where have you been living up till now? Oh, well, that's the problem.
When I dropped out of uni, I had to let my room go in halls which was a nightmare.
That's why I'm grateful for you putting me up till my Mum gets back.
Actually, can I just use your bathroom? I haven't been in hours and that's, like, really bad for your kidneys.
Yeah, yeah sure.
It's just round there.
OK, cool, thanks.
Typical bloody Stephanie.
Even behind bars, she's calling the shots.
Still, Poppy seems sweet.
You know, she's hardly the devil's spawn.
So, are you a corporate head hunter too? Yes.
Do you work for the same company as Mum? No, well, er I used to, but um now I'm more on th-the operations front.
Oh, it's lucky you weren't stuck out in Saudi as well.
Mum reckons she might be out there for weeks, working on this job.
Saudi.
Mm.
She must hate it out there.
The way they treat women.
Awful.
Do you know, I'm just going to try and find you some bedding? Excuse me.
ErmBelle? Your phone's ringing? Someone called Ben.
Shall I pick up? No, leave that.
Yes.
That's that.
That's good.
Pillow case! Thanks.
Hi.
Oh, fuck.
It's good to see you too.
Sorry, I wasn't expecting you.
Yeah, I just thought I'd come and say hi, say thanks.
All the postcards, emails, overwhelming.
It was a tropical island, Ben.
How about since you've been back? Or have you been too busy with the whole head in the sand, hiding thing? Are you just going to stand on my doorstep and insult me? I could come in and do it? I thought you'd never ask.
Wow! Moving up in the world, Han.
Did I um? Did I tell you I went snorkelling? It's amazing.
I actually got to swim with turtles.
Turtles? Turtles are good.
Mm-hm.
And the rays, they were mental.
You could actually touch them - Han, much as I'm fascinated by the marine life of the Maldives - Mauritius.
Whatever.
It's not really why I came.
Want do you want? Do you want a drink? No.
But I've got beer - Hannah! Stop.
I know you regret ever admitting to the possibility that we might be together.
I know that.
I even know that right now you're probably planning to turn me down and you're just wondering how to say it.
And that's the point, Han.
I know you better than you know yourself.
Ben, what are you doing? Well, you can't even talk about it.
So I'm going to do a simple graphic Reasons for and against.
No! Stop doing that! Why? Upset you, does it? That you might have to face up to something for once? Make a decision? You should go.
Really? Why? Because I don't want you here fucking up my house! Oh, that's right.
We mustn't make a mess, must we? Mustn't feel anything.
You know what? You're right.
I don't want to rush you.
I'll wait.
Three weeks? Few more years? Thanks for coming in.
Appreciate it.
Look, something's happened.
Stephanie's cell was searched last night, phone was found, confiscated.
Sorry, what? Self explanatory.
On the left, regulars, who, what, where, when? Last column, commission.
I told Stephanie I wasn't interested in taking over her business.
Excuse me, Liam? Would you or your guest like a cup of tea? No, no, I'm fine, thank you.
No thanks.
Allall good here.
Liam, you know yourlittle problem? Mm-mm.
Well, I think I may have stumbled across a solution.
Really? The thing is, I'm not on duty at the moment, so But um I might be able to find some space in my schedule for this very important case.
Stay here.
I won't be long.
Come! Come in.
Is this OK? Yes.
What if we get caught? Someone might see us? This could be very very Risky? For you.
And this, Liam .
.
is for you.
William Tell Overture Paper thin walls.
Door's unlocked.
Colleagues could walk in at any moment.
Oh, god.
The shame.
The thrill.
You tell me.
Tell the truth.
Explain to the court.
I saw escorts.
At first it was - Different? Exciting? But then you got bored.
Too predictable.
That's when started taking the pills.
Raise the stakes, increase stimulation, and now you've got me the whore and the man of law in the office.
I put it to you that you cannot enjoy sex unless there's a risk! Objection! Conjecture and innuendo.
Overruled.
Agh! Guilty.
Take him down.
Belle, that was You were incredible.
Well, thatthat was a one-off! You know, this is a long-term problem.
You know, if the sex isn't enough, then you just you need to find something something real.
You know, none of these pills and thrills.
Just, I don't know, someone who does it for you.
It's a connection.
That, m'lud, is your challenge.
Talking of challenges Oh.
Belle, I can't make guarantees, but I'm sure she'll be out in a matter of weeks.
That's all we're talking.
All right, I'll do it! Mustn't let the boss down.
Bye.
Life is messy, Han.
What's the alternative? You hide away in your perfect house all alone? I'm just scared.
I know, Hannah.
You don't You know, you have you have other people.
You have friends and family who know you.
They know everything about you.
And I just have you.
And you'll still have me.
Not if I fuck it up, I won't.
And I always do.
You know, my job- Your job is just your job, Hannah.
It's not you.
I can handle it.
If I lose you, Ben, I'll have nobody.
You will not lose me.
But I might.
Hannah, there are thousands of reasons why we shouldn't try.
There are thousands more why we should.
Yeah, it's 250 an hour.
I'm not a madam.
Just helping out an old friend.
If you're not suited to your job, why not hand it over to someone who'd do it better? Every virgin I've ever had has been great.
You like touching them, don't you? No virgins.
They're too needy.
What? Hi.
Me again.
Did you just follow me home?