Shake It Up! s01e14 Episode Script

Shake it up I'm Gary Wilde.
This is Shake it Up, Chicago! And I suggest you hold on to your loved ones, because you're about to get blown away by.
Poreotix! They are dancing machines.
Yeah, they can really bring it.
No, we literally mean dancing machines.
Gunther and I believe they are robots.
Yeah, and you also believe you're snappy dressers.
Poreotix are awesome dancers, not robots, ya whackadoos.
Nothing to see here, people! Nothing to see! Everybody, everybody, get out on the floor It can get a little crazy when the kick hits the 4 Make a scene, make a scene, nobody can ignore Don't knock it till you rock it We can't take it no more Bring the lights up, bust the doors down Dust yourself off Shake it up, shake it up DJ set it off, take it up a notch All together now, shake it up, shake it up Sh-sh-sh-shake it up You got to change it up And when you've had enough Sh-sh-sh-shake it up Bring the lights up, bust the doors down All together now, shake it up, shake it up Shake it up Guys, the producers want to add some new stuff to the Shake It Up, Chicago! website, so we need someone to host a, um Puppet show? We're ready! I am Little Gunther! And I am Little Tinka! Und we are the Little Hessenheffers! And I'm a little nauseous.
As tempting as that is, no.
We're gonna add a "how to dance" segment.
But that show already has a host.
And we're also going to add a "what to wear" segment.
Also taken.
But I am looking for someone to host a Shake It Up, Chicago! video webcast for teen advice.
So one of you can be a Dr.
Phyllis.
We would be great for that! So would we! Okay.
Sample question: I saw my brother steal money from my mother's purse.
What should I do? Oh, that's easy.
Tell your mom.
She needs to know the truth.
Yeah, 'cause if your brother keeps doing that, there's not going to be any money for you when you're short.
Wrong! There is only one way to handle this.
Turn him over to the secret police, and they will lock him up in the prison for the criminally insane.
Ah, it's a tough call, but I'm going with Rocky and Cece.
Yes! Gary, wait! What about a show about puppets dealing with the magical changes in their adolescent bodies? I'm getting yarn in places I didn't have yarn before.
And now, Flynn Jones presents a Flynn Jones production of a Flynn Jones-directed video Web thingy.
All right, here's the chicks.
And action! Hi, I'm Cece.
And I'm Rocky.
And welcome to Got it.
Hold on.
One second.
I just gotta You're a Hot Mess and We're Not! Okay.
Our first question comes from Lonely-boy in Chicago.
"Dear Rocky and Cece, "every girl at school has turned me down for the school dance.
"Now what do I do?" Lonely-boy You're a hot mess! But the answer is simple.
There is no shame in going to the dance without a date.
Me and Cece are doing that this week.
Thank you for telling that to our entire audience.
Oh, apparently there is some shame.
Back to Lonely-boy.
Look, I'm just gonna be honest with you.
If you really asked every girl out and they all said no, you're either a weirdo, you're a troll, or you smell funny.
Now, I suggest you start all over again and, uh, transfer to another school.
Cece, I've blown better advice than that into my tissue.
And that's all the time we have today.
Till next week, remember It's good to be hot, but it's bad to be a hot mess.
And that, my friends, is what's passing for Web infotainment these days.
Aw, come on.
No one's going to watch Rocky and Cece's show.
Five thousand hits.
What? Don't people have lives? I'm jealous.
Yeah, it's killing me.
If they can get 5,000 hits, we should be able to put something together and get 5 million hits.
We could be Internet sensations.
Yeah, you're right.
Ty and I could do something cool and you could be the cameraman.
Cameraman? If God wanted me to be behind the camera, would he have given me such an adorable face? You know, little man makes a good point.
We could use all the good lookin' we can get.
We're going to beat them at their own game.
We're going to do an advice show, only our advice show has a hook.
What's that? Two words: Zom-bies.
Okay, now our next e-mail is from Glitter Girl.
"Dear Rocky and Cece, I've seen you on Shake It Up, Chicago!" Aw, we have a fan.
"And I've watched your Webcast" Aw, thank you.
You're why we do it.
"And I hate your guts.
" Aw, right back at ya.
Wait, what? "My twin brother is Lonely-boy, and you told him "to move away because he couldn't get a date to the dance.
"Now he's moving back to the old country to raise goats.
"I curse you and your web-based advice extravaganza.
" I have one thing to say: I can't give you advice if you don't write your hate mail in the form of a question.
And that's all the time we have today on We're a Hot Mess and You're Not.
Actually, it's, uh, You're a Hot Mess and We're Not.
Is it, Cece? Is it really? Well, that was a good show.
Too bad we had to end it on eight pieces of hate mail in a row.
Cece, what did I tell you? Your bad advice is ruining people's lives.
What are you talking about? Glitter Girl is obviously Tinka and Lonely-boy is obviously Gunther.
And he's moving away because of you.
You're splitting up Gunther and Tinka.
Gunther and Tinka? Where'd you get that from? "Twins," "old country," "goat.
" Who else talks like that? I don't think so.
All right, we'll listen to the email again.
"I put a curse on your web-based advice extravaganza.
" It is them! Gunther, I don't want you to go.
Too late.
I've already purchased my aeroplane ticket.
I understand on American planes they give you your own sandwich so you don't have to kill your own chicken.
Gunther, when you're gone I will miss you.
Me too.
It tears my heart out.
Oh, no, Rocky, something's wrong.
All of a sudden I'm feeling something I've never felt before.
It's right here.
That "something" you're feeling is called guilt.
Make it stop, make it stop! Oh.
So you're asking for my advice? No.
Ow! Yes.
Okay, so here's what I'm thinking.
Maybe, if Gunther had a date to the dance, he wouldn't be so depressed and wouldn't move away from Tinka and America.
Oh, yeah, and how are we supposed to find a girl desperate enough to go out to the dance with Gunther Hessenheffer? It's me, isn't it? I have to go to the dance with Gunther.
Oh, no, Rocky.
That feeling's back again, and it's moved to the diarrhea zone.
Ask him.
Please don't make me.
Hello, baby.
Shake Nit up, shake it up So, here's the deal.
I heard you don't have a date for the dance and I I just can't look at him in the face and say it.
Oh, well, maybe Little Cece can say it to Little Gunther.
No way.
Hi, Little Gunther.
Oh, look.
Little Cece is the same size as Big Cece.
Oh, you're so mean, Little Gunther.
Yes, I'm a bad, bad boy.
So I was wondering if Big Gunther would like to go to the dance with Big Cece.
Wait a minute.
Did you just ask me out? Something stinks around here and it's not just that sweaty sock.
Uh, no, no, no! Um Cece's little crush has been brewing for a long time.
If you knew how many times I've heard, "Oh, Gunther's so cute.
Gunther's such a great dancer.
"Oh, I wonder what Gunther would look like on a horse, and" I think he gets it.
Yes, I do get it.
And by the way, I look magnificent on a horse.
I knew it.
All those little games she plays, putting bugs in your sandwiches, ignoring you for a year, calling Immigration to deport you.
She is obviously smitten like a lovesick kitten.
So, could you please just say that you'll go to the dance with me? I accept your solicitation to escort you to the dance.
Yay! Cece and Gunther are going to the dance together! Aw, look at that.
A Shake It Up, Chicago! showmance.
This is going on the website.
Oh, Cece.
Welcome to Zombie Talk, the Internet advice show for zombies, by zombies.
You have a little something right there.
I had a jelly donut.
Time for our first email.
"I recently ate my little sister.
"What do I do? If my mom finds out, she'll totally ground me.
" Duh! Eat your mom.
She can't ground you if she's in your belly.
Next email.
"I'm a non-zombie and the zombies at school pick on me "and try to eat my brain.
What do I do?" That's terrible.
You sound like you need a hug.
What's your address? We'll be right over.
Cut.
This isn't working.
What's wrong? I mean, I don't know anything about zombies, but I liked it.
All you need to know is that if zombies actually did attack, you'd be safe.
Because they eat brains.
You little You know what, you could really use some lotion.
And you could really use a mint.
Hey-hey-hey! How's the happy couple? I am Gunther! And I'm not doing it.
Come on, don't be shy.
I am Gunther! And I am Gunther's girlfriend.
And I am loving this.
I'll be right back, I'm going to get my little cookie a little cookie.
"And I am Gunther's girlfriend.
" You wanna tell me why you think that this is so funny? Well, because you so deserve it.
Maybe next time you won't give out advice when your brain isn't on speaking terms with your mouth.
Fine, but how much longer do I have to put up with this? Well, he hasn't mentioned anything about moving to the old country, so after the dance, you can let him down easy.
Oh, thank you, Gunther.
Please, nothing's too good for the future Mrs.
Hessenheffer.
Do you need the Heimlich? Don't bother.
It's better that I go.
You're not getting out of this dance that easy.
Spit.
It is a good sign.
She's already chewing my food.
Mmm.
Sh-sh-sh-shake it up! Oh! Hey, Gunther, where's Cece? She's in the hallway.
You know that one, she likes to make a big entrance.
Cece, darling, your BF and your BFF are waiting for you! I'm good in the hall! But no one can see your fabulous dress out there! I know, that's why I'm good in the hall! But, Cece, I want to see that fabulous dress that Gunther made you! I feel like a rainbow threw up on me.
Oh, Gunther, it's a doozy.
It was supposed to be a dress for Little Tinka Puppet, but it fit on Cece too.
I want to show off my new girlfriend.
Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention? I am Gunther! And I am dying inside.
Cece, you know how you always get mad at me when I want to borrow your clothes? Mmm-hmm.
Not gonna be a problem tonight.
Cece, we're at a dance.
Why are we not busting a move and letting it all hang out? You are the best dancer on Shake It Up, Chicago! Aw, that's so sweet of you.
Do you really believe that? No, but as my future wife you must get used to me lying to you.
Let us do this.
Cece! I'm not I'm not going to dance.
It's embarrassing.
No, I don't want to! Gunther, you know your girlfriend's ticklish.
No! Stop it! Okay, fine, one dance.
But that is it.
And now a special request by Rocky Blue.
This song goes out to all you lovebirds out there.
You know who you are.
I'm having a wonderful time.
Hello, and welcome to the Chicago auditions of Zombie Idol.
What's your name, love? I'm Sarah, and it's great to be here.
Yo, yo, Sarah, what makes you think your screaming is good enough to be on Zombie Idol? Well, I'm the best screamer in my hometown.
I screamed the lead in the school play and I scream frequently at church.
Can I just say, I think you're beautiful.
And I'm not just saying that because I want to eat your brains.
What shall you be screaming for us today? I'm going to do Ah, Zombie! Please Don't Eat my Face.
Ooh, startin' off with a little Whitney.
That's a tough one, dog.
You know, I used to work with Whitney back in the day on Yes, yes, we know, we know.
Let's see what you've got.
Dreadful, just dreadful.
I almost ate you just to make you stop.
Look, it was aight for me, but a little pitchy, dog.
A little pitchy.
No, I totally disagree.
She has so much spirit.
I swear I'd bake you into a cookie if I could.
I vote no.
I vote yes and I'd like to give you a big hand.
You know what? She is good.
You're going to Zombiewood! Cut! First of all, my eardrums just burst.
Second, this doesn't even make sense.
They have new judges now.
Okay, genius, you got a better idea? Actually, I do.
Zom.
Bie-dance-video.
Hello, Cece.
I must admit, as much as I hate and despise you, your outfit is to die for.
Tell you what, kill me now and you can have it.
Well, it appears we're going to be sisters.
There's a new nightmare that hadn't crossed my mind.
It's time to move past our petty disagreements.
Pull my fingers.
Tinka, I have an 8-year-old brother.
I think I know how this joke ends.
No, it is not a joke.
Please, pull my fingers.
You have strong hands, good grip.
The goats like that.
You will be the most popular goat milker in the village.
Aside from me, of course.
Okay, whoa.
No milking, no goats, no sister, no wedding, no way! Cece, what are you saying? Your boyfriend will hear you.
That's it, I'm done.
If Gunther wants to leave the country because of some stupid advice I gave him on our Web show, then I'll buy his ticket myself! Who's leaving the country? Oh, come on, guys.
We know that you're Lonely-boy, you're his twin sister, Glitter Girl, and that you emailed our show for advice.
Why would I ever come to either one of you for advice? I'd rather ask my dog for advice.
And he eats tacos that he finds off the street.
Wait, but we heard you.
You bought a plane ticket to the old country.
No, you misunderheard me.
I'm going to St.
Louis for the sequin convention.
You don't think I buy all this retail, do you? So you're telling me that there's another twin brother out there that couldn't get a date to the dance and wanted to move back to the old country to raise goats? I think you are talking about our cousin Bobchka.
His twin sister, Grinkle, is home with a broken heart because he left the country over advice some idiot gave him over the interconnected nets.
Hey! I'm that idiot.
Then this will not work.
I'm breaking up with you.
Have your dress laundered and returned to me.
What? No, no, no, no.
You can't break up with me.
I was only pretending to go out with you.
Okay, Cece, whatever excuse you need to save your pride.
I slow-danced with your puppet! I obviously don't have any pride! Well? So I guess this means the wedding shower's off.
Help! Zombies! Hey, baby.
You free for dinner? Yes.
Good! Mmm.
Good brains.
Blondes are so tasty.
Now what? Well, we could go sleep in our graves, or we could dance.
Let's dance! Shake it up!