Shake It Up! s03e16 Episode Script

In the Bag it Up

Welcome back to Shake It Up, Chicago! I'm your host, or, as some would say, your puppet master.
You've been asking for a big finale and I was able to pull a few strings.
Now, dance, my little puppets! Dance! (Electronic pop song playing) H-h-h-hey, come on! Drop the beat on us all night long.
We see you in your booth.
You're the puppeteer so make us move.
You know my song.
You so better get it on.
What you're dealing with is a situation.
Ticking like a bomb that's about to blow.
Know you got the song.
Bring it on.
Baby let it go.
Go, go, go! D-DJ, some bass! Hit the button, initiate.
Crank it up and no time to waste.
We already took the bait.
The bait, the bait, the bait.
The bait, the bait.
- Woman: All the boys say - Chorus: Bring it up! - Woman: All the girls say - Chorus: Bring it up! - Woman: All the boys say - Chorus: Bring it up! - Woman: All the girls say - Chorus: Bring it up! All: More! Come on and give us more.
Drop the beat as sharp as a razor.
Sharp as a razor.
- Woman: All the girls say - Chorus: Bring it up! - Woman: All the boys say - Chorus: Bring it up! - Woman: All the girls say - Chorus: Bring it up! - Woman: All the boys say - Chorus: Bring it up! All: More! Come on and give us more.
Drop the beat as sharp as a razor.
Sharp as a razor.
(Audience cheering) Everybody, everybody, get out on the floor.
It can get a little crazy when the kick hits the 4.
Make a scene, make a scene, nobody can ignore.
Don't knock it.
'Til you rock it.
We can't take it no more.
Bring the lights up, bust the doors down.
All together now.
Shake It Up, Shake It Up.
Shake It Up.
Hey, here comes Deuce and his dad.
Hello, Chicago! Make way for the two-time reigning champs of the Indoor Fun Zone Father-Son Bowling Tournament! Can I get a "Viva Martinez"? - All: Viva Martinez! - Louder! All: Viva Martinez! That's right! We're going to crush the competition! (Laughs) Take it down a notch, Deuce.
Don't be so cocky.
Although, who's kidding who? We got the tournament in the bag! Oh, hey, check out our team shirts.
Ty: "Martinez Plumbing.
King of Toilets".
My dream is that every time someone sits on a toilet, they think "Martinez".
How about they just think George Martinez? With a name like "Deuce"? Not likely.
Ty, take a picture of the future three-time champs.
All right.
(Cell phone buzzes) Hold on.
Can you believe this? They're letting a Mother-Daughter team in the Father-Son tournament! Is there nothing left for just us men? Oh, aside from writing our name in the snow.
That's how I learned to write cursive.
- Hey, Ty, snap the picture.
- Know what we're going to do? We're going down there and we're telling them either those girls are gone, or we're gone.
(Weakly) Take the picture.
Because when Martinez men take a stand, nothing can bring us down! Oh! (Thuds) Except maybe a 4-pound ball.
Hey, CeCe! I've got great news! Me too! J.
Lee Designs started an online store.
I've been sitting here putting clothes into my online shopping bag And then taking them out again because I can't afford them.
Isn't that the store on Michigan Avenue that banned you for life? Stupid snooty clerks.
They won't let me try on their clothes.
Well, when I'm a famous dancer/choreographer, they're gonna beg me to come into their little store.
And I'm going to say, "sorry, I'm too busy deciding how many hot male models" "will be dancing with me and Lady Gaga at her next concert!" I love that you have goals, but why do they seem to all revolve around hot male models? Anyway, I'm in the final round for the Kurland Scholarship! - Ooh! - I know.
It's down to me and 49 other people.
Forty-nine! So if I do good in my interview, then I can win! And then, hello, Harvard, because I'm a shoe-in! Am I interrupting? - Yes.
- Good.
Behold! The latest purse from French designer Robaire Lotaire.
Tinka, no one's interested in (Gasps) That is stunning! Isn't it, Rocky? Sorry, can't hear you over the sound of how awesome that purse is.
Hello, Tinka Hessenheffer.
Another day, another fashion don't.
Ah, Kristin Wibler.
I like your outfit.
Very rainbow-vomit chic.
Your fashion sense is so under-evolved, it breathes underwater and still can't walk upright.
(All laughing) Curse her and her Darwin-inspired humor.
If I had that Robaire Lotaire purse, my fashion Nemesis would have to bow to my superior style.
And if I had that purse, those stupid snooty clerks would be begging me to try on their clothes.
If I had that purse, I'd be a stand out at my interview.
How much is it? Holy karaoke! - Wow, they charge an arm and a leg.
- Well, in that case, I suggest CeCe pays.
Let's go to shop class and borrow the band saw.
Or We can just go to Fashion Ren-tour.
It's an online store where you just rent high-end fashion.
Mark the date.
It took 10 years, but CeCe finally had a great idea.
Deucie, sign this petition.
The school won't let Mariel on the baseball team because she's a girl.
- Well, that doesn't sound right.
Pen me.
- Hold up! Girls already have their own softball team boys are not allowed to play on.
I know.
I tried.
Couldn't even get in the locker room.
That's a good point.
Forget the pen.
Mariel's really good and should be able to play on the team.
Well, you know, she did used to hit a lot of home runs off of me.
Who didn't? You know what? Dina's right.
You know, I'm going to start my own petition To allow men in your relationship.
Because right now, I don't see any.
(All sighing) Amazing.
All: I get it first! (Polite laughter) Okay ladies.
Chill out, we only have a week with the bag before we have to send it back, so we need a purse-sharing schedule.
- Great.
I have a pen in my backpack.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Okay, got it.
Right, my notebook's on the table.
(Polite laughter) Perfect.
Let's write down our names I'll write my name I'll be using it first.
It's my notebook! Okay.
Ladies (Exhales) What we need is an independent third party to come in and decide who gets the bag first and then we'll switch off from there.
An independent third party? Like the Libertarians? What? I go to school, too.
Flynn! Uh-oh.
Three girls plus one purse equals no Flynn.
Flynn, wait.
We need you to help regulate our purse schedule.
What's the big deal with purses anyway? I keep everything in my pocket.
I've got three quarters, the remote control and a turkey leg in my pants right now.
Everything a growing boy needs.
All right, growing boy.
Decide who gets the purse first.
I'm thinking of a number between one and 100.
- Is it twenty? - It is now.
Tinka: Kristin Wibler! I've come for you! Well, well, well.
Tinka Hessenheffer.
You've called down the fashion thunder, and now you've got it! How do you want to play this? Walk 12 paces, turn and pose? Works for me.
(Upbeat electronic music playing) (Weakly) I'm so cold (Gasps) So Cold Well, we sure told that bowling league President! We sure did.
When you said it was us or them, I was like, heck yes! And when he said we could quit and forfeit our entry fee, I was like, heck no! I think we learned an important lesson today.
That no matter how much we complain and yell, we don't always get our way? Yep.
And don't assume just because someone looks Irish, they can't understand basic Spanish swear words.
Take that with you, son.
Take that with you.
You know what? It doesn't matter if they let a Mother-Daughter team in the tournament.
- We're still going to win.
- We're going to mop the floor with them.
And then give them back their mop! Yeah! Deuce! What's wrong with you? That is totally sexist.
Your mother and I did not raise you that way, son.
Hi, Deucie.
Hi, Deucie's dad.
- Hi, Dina! - Dina! Oh, dad, this is Mrs.
Garcia, my dad, George.
It's an honor.
I recognize you from your "King of Toilets" ads.
(Laughs) I bet you're flush with cash, Your Highness.
May I say, your daughter is the perfect young lady.
Oh, thank you.
And your son, well He doesn't bother me as much as he used to.
You and me both.
So, um, what brings you guys down here? My ma and I got to practice for Saturday's tournament.
Hey, we're in a tournament Saturday, too! What a coinky-dink! What time is yours? Deuce! You're slower than a clogged pipe.
That's the Mother-Daughter team horning in on our tournament! Oh.
(Whimpering) Oh, no.
Look, I just wanted to say I'm not upset about the whole tournament thing.
I mean, I'm guessing it was your pushy mother's idea.
It's not your fault.
I get it.
You're under her thumb.
It's going to be pretty hard for you to bowl without your thumb.
What? Did I say something wrong? Are you mad at me? I'm furious with you! For what? You don't belong in that tournament! Like my dad says, there are some traditions that are just for boys.
Like Father-Son tournaments and wearing a cup.
Really? Then why did you sign Mariel's petition for the exact opposite position? Well, I I'll tell you why, it's because you don't have your own opinions.
- But I - You're like a weather vane.
The wind blows you one way, then the wind blows you another.
Why don't you just blow it out your ear! Yeah, you know, sometimes you just got to show these girlfriends who's boss.
You know? (Straining) - Dina: Deucie! - (Weakly) I'm coming! Ugh.
Take it.
Take this curse of a purse.
I never want to see it again.
Okay, but you're still chipping in your full share, right? I would pay you to keep this Robaire Disas-taire away from me.
I'm starting to think something happened between the last time we saw you and now.
Have you seen the school blog today? "Who wore it best? Tinka versus Kristin".
She beat you by 95%.
- I am humiliated! - And I'm shocked.
- Thank you.
- I thought it would be 100%.
Did you see those matching shoes? I voted for her twice.
So did I.
Okay, son.
This is it.
We win this game, we win the trophy! It's the Magnificent Martinez Men versus that gaggle of girly Garcia's.
You know what we have to do, right? Yeah.
We've got to focus and bowl like we've never bowled before! No! We've got to outwit and manipulate them! (Scoffs) Who raised you? Now, go ahead.
I'll work the mother, you work the daughter.
Both: (High-pitched) Viva Martinez! Sweetie.
Can I talk to you for a minute? Sure.
Whose opinion are you going to give me now? I just want to apologize.
I mean, I guess I got a little emotional because Bowling is really the only thing my dad and I do together.
He's always so busy working that I barely get to spend any time with him.
You mean, his plumbing business is number one, and you're Number two.
I guess I just wanted to make him proud.
And, you know, if I don't win, then Never mind.
(Voice breaking) Good luck.
It's just that Deuce has such low self-esteem.
Well, who could blame him, what with the fact that he hasn't grown in two years.
I've worked so hard to try to build him up, to try to find a sport that he would be good at.
Tennis, soccer, baseball at one point, I thought foosball would be it.
But he got scared by the tiny people.
Oh! You'd think he would feel comfortable around his own.
(Laughs) Anyway, Mrs.
Garcia This tournament may be the last chance he has to taste victory Before a lifetime of certain loss and disappointments.
But don't worry about that.
Good luck to you and your daughter.
Honey, I think we need to drop out of this tournament.
I just spoke with George.
He has devoted so much time to try to build up Deuce's self-esteem Whoa, whoa, whoa, ma.
Control-ALT, backspace it up.
Deuce just told me some sob story about his Father not having any time for him.
Oh! Something stinks here at the Indoor Fun Zone! And it is not just Deuce's shoes.
Too busy, huh? Low self-esteem, huh? I'm sorry, your stories hold about as much water as your leaky pipes.
Toilet King! We figured you Martinez boys out.
And we are going to destroy you! How'd they figure it out? The "Neglectful Father" con always works.
We were supposed to be running the "Boost Up the Confidence" con! I got confused! (Spectators cheering) What are we going to do? They're really good.
I don't know.
For the first time in three years, we might not win.
Both: Oh, no.
Oh, Rocky, I have to say, you are the most qualified candidate that I have ever interviewed.
Oh! Well, thank you so much.
- It was a pleasure meeting you.
- Oh, you too.
That's an interesting choice of purses.
This old thing? It's just an original Robaire Lotaire.
I thought so.
Which means it's made of the finest hand-massaged, calf-skin leather.
Yeah, I suppose it is.
Do you know that those calves are never exposed to the harsh, outdoor elements, and never even see sunlight? Wow.
That's that's so sad.
But I guess that explains why it's softer than a baby's tush.
(Both laughing) How familiar are you with Dr.
Kurland, who funds the scholarship? Oh, I know everything about her.
I know that she's a veterinarian, her husband is a decorated war hero, she has three wonderful children and her hobby is baking apple pies.
And her other hobby is rescuing the calves from the Robaire Lotaire factory.
That I did not know.
I never want to see that baby cow bag again.
Ah, so you, too, have felt the curse of the purse.
That's not a purse, that is a hand-stitched scholarship-killer! Obviously, you and Tinka don't know how to handle high-end fashion like I do.
So my purse and I are going to saunter down to J.
Lee Designs, and take that snooty shop by storm.
But this time, they have to let me in! They won't let me out! CeCe, slow down.
What's wrong? Okay, so at first I came into the store, and the salesgirl gave me the stink eye.
But then she noticed my purse, and then, the next thing I know, they're offering me little sandwiches with the crusts cut off.
And my choice of sparkling or flat water.
Me! Choosing between sparkling or flat at J.
Lee Designs! So all your dreams came true and you're calling to rub it in my face? I wish.
But then they kept bringing me incredibly expensive one-of-a-kind things to try on.
And it all just looked so great on me! Oh, no, what a terrible afternoon you're having.
No, you don't understand.
Now I'm stuck in the dressing room with $80,000 of J.
Lee clothes And they're already ringing it up! Okay, CeCe, relax.
I know exactly what to do, are you ready? - Okay, I'm ready.
What do I do? - Leave.
I can't! I'm already in too deep! It'll be so embarrassing and they'll never let me back in the store! Goodbye, CeCe.
Woo! (Making sizzling sounds) Hey, did you see that? A delicate little woman knocked down all those pins.
Just like we're knocking down your big manly egos.
Okay, son, this is it.
You have to make at least a spare.
The good name of Martinez and our championship streak rests On your narrow, lopsided shoulders.
No pressure, though.
You know, just because you say "no pressure" doesn't mean that there isn't tons and tons of pressure! (Exhales) That's okay, son.
You can do it.
Show them what you think of women invading an all-man tournament! Or show us that you have your own opinion and can think for yourself! He knows what he thinks! He thinks what I think! Isn't that what you think, son? Well, do you, Deucie? Yeah, do you, Deucie? Do you, Deucie? You know what I think? I'll tell you what I think! I think all this competition and trash talking has sucked all the fun out of this tournament, which used to be the whole point of doing this, dad.
Now if I don't make this spare, you're going to be mad at me.
And if I do make this spare, you're going to be mad at me.
And you? You're always mad at me.
So you know what? For once, I'm going to do what I want.
Otherwise, I'll be mad at me.
(Squealing) Woo! (Making sizzling sounds) Hey, Martinez, stick that in your tank and flush it! Sorry I put you through all that, baby.
Forgive me? Of course.
Besides, it all worked out.
You threw the game on purpose, didn't you? Yeah.
You didn't throw the game, you just messed up, didn't you? Yeah.
That's okay, son.
The Martinezes will take the trophy home next year! Because now that they're letting girls in the tournament, I'm teaming up with your sister.
That's cool.
Next year, I'm teaming up with mom.
Both: Viva Martinez! Ah, you know, it's kinda a waste to send this purse back early.
But I can't get it outta my site soon enough.
Absolutely, may it burn in the fourth level of the underworld, reserved for liars and people who forget to close the ketchup before putting it away.
Well, I think you girls learned an important lesson here.
That we don't need material items to give us confidence, make us stand out or give us self worth? No, purses are stupid, next time save your money and get more pockets.