Shake It Up! s03e18 Episode Script

- Hey, CeCe.
- Oh! Hey, James.
What're you doing here? Oh, yesterday, after Honors History, you forgot this pencil, and I wanted to make sure you got it back.
Oh! Thank you.
I was running low on disgusting, chewed-up pencils.
Wait a minute.
You came all the way down here just to give her that? Oh, it wasn't a big deal.
Just a couple of trains, a bus transfer and a ten-block hike.
Okay! See you later! Someone has a crush on CeCe.
- What are you talking about? - James has a crush on you.
- No, he doesn't.
- This is the worst musical ever.
You're totally wrong.
And you know what I'm going to do? Well, if the last 15 years of your life are any indication, I'm assuming that you're just going to brazenly walk over there, and address the issue with all the subtlety of a jackhammer.
That's how I do.
(Snaps fingers) Hey, James, you want a laugh? Rocky thinks (Chuckles) Thinks you like me.
Like, "like" me.
(Laughing forcefully) That's hilarious! (Continues laughing) You want to go out sometime? (Chuckling) Me? Go out with you? Sure! Why not? When and where? I'll have to get back to you on that.
I didn't actually expect you to say yes.
Okay! Guess what? Someone has a crush on CeCe.
I was right.
- Let's not start this again.
- Works for me.
Everybody, everybody, get out on the floor.
It can get a little crazy when the kick hits the 4.
Make a scene, make a scene, nobody can ignore.
Don't knock it.
'Til you rock it.
We can't take it no more.
Bring the lights up, bust the doors down.
All together now.
Shake It Up, Shake It Up.
Shake It Up.
Hey, Deucie! Is my order ready? My ma is double-parked out front.
It's right here.
Hey, so, um, notice anything Different about me? Oh, you got schmutz on your lip.
Here.
No! No.
It's a mustache.
I'm growing a mustache! Oh, Deucie! How mature of you! - Oh, stop it.
- Now shave it off.
Shave it? No! It looks good.
Sweetie, it looks like your nose hairs moved down to your lip.
It's a little sparse.
Are you kidding me? This is a lush and luxuriant man-made mouth cozy! (Scoffs) Please! I have a thicker mustache than you.
- Excuse me? - Nothing! Shave it off, baby.
We got my parents' anniversary party this weekend, and there'll be a photographer there.
Oh, what's the difference? Your mom cuts me out of all the pictures anyway.
True.
But you're still not ready to grow a mustache.
You should wait a little while.
How long? Until you and I go to separate colleges.
So.
You guys ready to order? Dude, you got dirt all over your lip.
It's not dirt.
I'm growing a mustache! Where? On someone else's face? You guys gonna order or what? Okay, we'll have two slices of meat lover's deluxe.
Uh, two slices of the meat lover's deluxe.
- Two green salads.
- Two green salads.
- And a tall glass of Deuce is a fool.
- And a tall glass of Deuce is a hey! Wait.
What's with all this repeating? Oh, Crusty's is trying out this new high-tech system.
I got this tiny little earpiece and this little microphone, so that the waiters can talk to the kitchen.
So, in other words, they don't trust you to write down or remember anything correctly? That's another way to spin it, I guess.
Oh, hey, Deuce.
Have you been drinking some chocolate milk? - Because you have like a little - (Shouting) It's a mustache! Hey, guys.
I have the best news ever! Spinach has been outlawed? No.
I joined a program at school called The Future Teachers of America You want to be a teacher? Since when? Well, since I realized it's the only way that I can stay in a classroom for the rest of my life.
Spend the rest of your life with wisecracking little shrimps? Count me out.
Well, anyway, I get to give a guest lecture on science to a fifth-grade class.
And I picked your class, Flynn! Isn't that exciting? Good golly, wow! That's the coolest news I've ever heard! Was that the reaction you were hoping for, Rocky? Hello, class.
I'm your guest lecturer.
My name is Miss Blue.
I've always wanted to do that.
Anyway, who's ready to learn about the wonderful world of binomial nomenclature? (All groaning) Hey! Rocky Blue is not just another guest lecturer that we openly mock, like Tommy's dad with his insight into the wonderful world of podiatry.
Sorry, Tommy, but you know that was bad.
Rocky Blue is the coolest girl I know.
So please, reserve your judgment until after the lecture.
Thank you, Flynn.
Now, binomial nomenclature is the way that science chooses names, for plants and animals.
The classifications are kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, species.
Now, "kingdom" is the most broad area of classification, that separates plants or animals.
But down here we have "species," the most specific name.
For example, a cat is in the family kingdom, but Its species name is Felis domesticus.
All right, now we can judge.
This is lecture is boring-us extreme-ulus.
Planetarium's pretty cool, huh? Yeah, I love looking at the stars.
Whether they're on the red carpet or on the ceiling.
That's Canis Major, and that's Orion, Orion's one of the easiest to find because of the three stars in a row that make up Orion's belt.
Gotta love a constellation that knows how to accessorize.
I'm glad you asked me out.
I mean, I know I'm not the type of person you'd usually hang out with.
Well, that's true.
Usually, I hang out with avatars.
This place isn't too science-y for you, is it? Are you kidding? If actual science class had lasers, fog and loud music, I probably wouldn't sleep through it so often.
(Laughing) Look, obviously we're different but I think it's true what they say opposites do attract.
Exactly.
Like, in an atom, the electrons emit a negative outward charge, while the protons emit a positive inward charge.
I was going to say like Tom Brady and Gisele, but I guess yours works, too.
Hey, want to try something really fun? Cross your eyes and look at the lights.
It makes you feel all dizzy.
Hey, hey, hey! That is fun! Hey, hey, hey! Who got their learn on? You did! You did! I just love imparting my knowledge into your little brains and seeing you all soak it up like dry little sponges of the Phylum Porifera.
Flynn! Sorry.
When I hear you speak, I just fall asleep.
What are you talking about? Let me break this to you gently.
When you teach, you're kind of Something that rhymes with "snoring".
I was scoring? Yes! I was scoring No! You were boring.
Maybe teaching's not for you.
But maybe hypnotism is! But I had a diagram, and handouts, and a pointer! Ah yes, all the necessary ingredients for boring stew.
Look, when I was a kid, did I watch the Cookie Monster to learn about the alphabet? No! I liked his blue fur, and I laughed when he shoved cookies in his mouth.
Next thing you know, I'm reading and wasting dozens of cookies, by putting them in my mouth, then letting the chunks hit the floor.
Kids need to be tricked into learning.
That's how it works.
Right.
More Cookie Monster, less lecture.
Gotcha.
You know what? Tomorrow, I'm going back to your class and I'm going to win everyone over.
Great.
But could you come back here around I could really use a good night's sleep.
One chopped salad, one side of cheesy bread.
And a clean-shaven boyfriend.
One chopped salad, one cheesy bread and one manly, mustachioed boyfriend.
Oh wait, you already got one of those.
Boom! Come on, Deuce.
You've got to shave.
But it makes me look like a man! You're going to look like a single man if you don't shave! All right, kids, prepare to be wowed! Hey, guys, I'm Kelly the Celery, and I come from the Kingdom of Plantae! Hey, I'm Sammy the Skunk, and I come from the Kingdom of Animalia! Kelly, are you stalking me? No, Sammy, you stinker.
(All booing) Oh, Kelly.
Where did we go wrong? - Hey, James! - Hey.
Um, I wanted to say thank-you again for the other night.
I had fun.
I had fun, too.
- So you wanna go out again? - Hey, would you like to go out again? - I'd love to! - I'd love to! Oh, before I forget, I got you a present.
A present? James, I like how you do.
Close your eyes.
Okay, open.
Oh! Look at that! It's a word-a-day calendar.
(Chuckles uncertainly) Yay! I thought you could use it.
Who couldn't? I always need to know what day it is.
And I do use at least one word a day! (Cell phone chimes) James's recorded voice: Attention, Captain James of the starship Awesome! You have an incoming message.
Oh, I've got to get to the gym.
- Football team needs my help.
- Really? Wi-Fi's down again.
- I'll call you later.
- Bye, James.
(Laughing) Hey, James! I just heard the funniest rumor.
Someone said you actually went on a date with CeCe.
I did.
- CeCe Jones? - Yeah.
CeCe Jones with the red hair? Lives in my building? Best friends with my sister? Why is it so hard to believe that CeCe would want to go out with me? Well, because she's so cool and popular and has mad style.
And you Have a holster for your cell phone.
Note to self.
Research cool-guy pastimes, what they wear And where they put their cell phones.
Don't need that one.
Don't need that one.
Can't even pronounce that one! They have words on Saturdays, too? CeCe, I need your advice.
For some reason, Flynn's class is not responding to my lectures.
I need to figure out a way to win them over.
You know what I find most winsome? It's when my teachers let me out early.
Okay, one, that's not an option.
And two, "winsome"? Yeah, means charming.
Yeah, I know what it means.
But how do you know what it means? It's a word from my word-a-day calendar that James gave me.
Aw! That's so sweet.
It means he really likes you.
No.
It means he doesn't think I'm smart enough for him.
Well, you know, he is on the debate team and the robotics team, and you're On Team Jacob.
I do not like what you're implying.
She's on Team Edward.
Look, CeCe, do not take romantic advice from Dina.
Let's not forget, her boyfriend is Deuce.
Me-ouch! Although, you do have a point.
If this is going to work, then I have to find a way to get really smart before our next date.
CeCe, look, you don't have to change a thing about yourself.
He already likes you.
I never thought I'd say this to you but You're over-thinking it.
Wow.
Deuce thinks he can pull off facial hair, Rocky's failing in a classroom, and CeCe's dating a smart guy.
(Shouting) Has the whole world gone mad? That was the worst puppet show since man first put his hand into a sock.
Rocky, face facts.
Teaching's just not for you.
It's okay to fail at something.
(Gasping) I beg your pardon? When it comes to school, I have never, ever failed at anything! Okay.
If this is so important to you, you need to find a new approach to winning over the class.
Maybe bring a little more of your personality to your lessons.
Or bring cash.
Not the kind that clinks, the kind that folds.
Wow, Flynn, you know what? You are so wise and mature for your age.
Thank you, Rocky.
Now pull my finger.
Beat it, Flynn.
D'oh! So close.
We're not done, Rocky.
This is not over! I will hold this.
What was that all about? I'm not even sure where to start.
Great news! I know what to do about the James thing and I have a plan.
(Groaning) Please tell me I'm not a part of it.
No can do, amiga.
You see, I asked myself, "self, how can I be as smart as Rocky?" And the answer was simple.
"Just study harder".
But obviously, that wasn't going to happen.
So I borrowed this from Crusty's.
And what better way to sound like smart Rocky, than to have the actual smart Rocky tell me what to say? So, basically, you want to pull a Cyrano? Don't be negative! I want to pull a Cyra-yes! Hola, senor Martinez.
How are you today? Hey, Sweetie! Dina, I think I've figured it out.
It's not the mustache that's upsetting you It's what the mustache represents.
My new found, unrestrained masculinity.
No, it's the mustache.
But if you're happy, I'm happy.
In fact, I thought it would be fun to grow out our hair together! Oh my! Uh That's a little unsightly.
Oh! Would you prefer the braided one? Where are you going? To shave! But I find it very scary that you were able to put this together so quickly.
All right, CeCe, if you can hear me, give me a signal.
Is that a signal, or are you fixing your hair? Both.
Ooh, here comes James.
Yo, yo, yo! What's up, pretty lady? Hey, James.
I'm so glad we could convene here at Crusty's.
Hello, James.
I'm so glad we could convene here at Crusty's.
Won't you sit and partake in some loquacious repartee? Won't you sit and partake in some I forgot the rest.
What? Loquacious repartee! Loquacious rep Oh, who am I kidding? James, just have a seat.
Let me tell you, you have got it going on today.
Thank you, James.
You look resplendent in your finery.
Is it new? Thank you, James.
You look resplendent in your finery.
Is it new? Yeah, yeah, just a little something, something I picked up.
You know, I like to get my swag on! Yeah, yeah, just a little something, something I picked up.
You know, I like to get my swag on! (Chuckles nervously) Anyway, if you're feeling peckish, the cheesy bread is one delightful amuse-bouche.
I can't hear you, you're cutting out.
(Shouting) I said, one delightful amuse-bouche! Oh, sorry, man.
Let me move around to get a better signal.
Okay, just nod your head when you can hear me.
Can you hear me now? Is this good? I can hear you perfectly! What are you doing here? What are you doing here? Not coaching James on being cool, if that's what you want to know! Not coaching James on being cool, if that's What you wanna know.
Ty, you can't (Feedback screeching) - Ow! - Ow! Look, Ty was coaching James just like I was coaching you.
Why did you need Rocky to coach you? Because I thought I wasn't smart enough for you.
Really? I was afraid you wouldn't think I was cool enough for you! Where would you get that idea from? I have no idea.
Oh wait, I do.
Ty.
Well, look at that.
We do have something in common.
We both forgot to be ourselves.
I have an idea.
Why don't we start over? You know what? That's not only a smart idea, it's a cool one.
So You know what? They really do make a cute couple.
Yeah, opposites do attract.
Wait a minute.
Um, if you were coaching him and I was coaching CeCe, that means We were on a date with each other? (Both gag) - Ewe! - Ewe! First off, I just want to say thank you, Mrs.
Dooley, for letting me come back a third time.
Now, this may just be another science lesson for you, but it's a life lesson for me.
Okay? It's always important to never give up in life.
Actually, funny story You're losing 'em, Rocky! Right! You're right, you're right.
All right, kids, it's not just me this time.
I brought backup.
If CeCe's your backup, you might as well just keep backing it up all the way out the door.
Watch it, Flynn.
I'm a guest teacher here, and that gives me the power to give you detention.
- No, it doesn't.
- Lame.
All right, kids, sit back and prepare to learn about science! Hit it! (Music starts) Oh, nature gives us wondrous things.
From vertebrates to birds that sing.
But with animals, plants and fungi.
Just how will we classify? Kingdom, phylum Class, order.
Family, genus, species.
- If you need to tell what's what.
- What? - Science makes it easy.
- Everybody, now.
Yeah! Hey! Woo! You got it.
Kingdom, phylum Class, order.
Family, genus, species.
- If you need to tell what's what.
- What, what? Science makes it easy.
Woo! Woo! - Yeah, taxonomy's an awesome thing.
- That's right! Even classifies the human being.
Once we have all the pieces.
Then we can name all the species.
We're homo sapiens.
We're homo sapiens.
Okay.
Kingdom, phylum Class, order.
Family, genus, species.
- If you need to tell what's what.
- All: What? Science makes it easy.
Everybody, now! Kingdom, phylum Class, order.
Family, genus, species.
- If you need to tell what's what.
- CeCe: What, what? Science makes it easy.
(All cheering) That song was loud, over the top and totally inappropriate for the classroom.
I loved it! Come on Sweetie! We're going to be late for my parents anniversary party.
I'm coming! Coming Well, the moustachioed version of Deuce is no more.
Aw baby, I know you're sad but, those little hairs have gone to a better place Down the drain.
I know, you're right.
I just wish you being right didn't involve me taking razor sharp steel to my face.
Well, you're not the only one that got hurt during this little process.
Well you know, at least we'll be the best looking couple there, right? That's right baby.
- Ow! - Sorry.
- Ow! - I'm sorry.
- Ow! - Sorry.